Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Betting bible) S11E08

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. The boys are going for a run, and shaking hands with their own shadowsDon't forget: on March 25th at 8pm GMT we are holding an online Flatshare Slamdown with guests Suzi Ruffell (Live at the Apollo) and Rachel Parris (The Mash Report). Tickets are £5 (free for NHS) - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-w-suzi-ruffell-and-rachel-parris-tickets-141659446217Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Well, there you go. We're off to a real pro-start there.

And now, like, listen to dear, you join us on an evening record of a house meeting. House meeting. It's a very relaxed, very nice to do these evening records. We started doing them more regularly now. We used to do lots of early mornings and it's a nice vibe. It's laid back. It's a nice vibe. It's a chill out sash. It's just three housemates sitting around chewing the beans. So what have we got to tell you? Well, look, if you enjoy house meeting then why don't you get yourself over to our Patreon where we have loads of other recordings that we don't put out on the main feed that have a very similar vibe to a house meeting, really. It's called Fluxier Lockdown. We kind of read a load of emails from the listeners.

We mess around, we have silly features. There's a lot of jingles. Hey, listen, let's talk about our appearance, all right? Yes, we've got silly features. But actually, you can see our silly features, because if you're a $10 on above, you get a video of us recording the episodes. Oh, baby.

Enjoy our silly features. If you join for like $5 a month, you immediately get access to a whole back catalog of flat share lockdowns. So why don't you get along to the Patreon and have a look at it. Yeah, you get two new episodes every week of that. You also get a bonus beef.

You get all of our jingles as well. The jingles that we put out in flat share slam down, you get those as singles, there's loads of fun stuff over there, it really is worth it. And if you can't join five dollars in above, that's a bit rich for your blood and fair enough. Then for two dollars and above, you get the first 50 episodes straight away of flat share lockdown. 50 episodes of flat share lockdowns are plenty to be getting through. For a mere two-dance. Absolutely right.

Get over to the Patreon and have a look. And also, if you enjoy our flat share slam downs our live panel show, we're actually live. We're actually live. That we put out in the first week of every month, then we are doing a live recording of one of those coming very soon. Yes indeed.

It's the fifth of March. Yeah. Thursday night. It's so... Oh my god, this year's whipping along already, isn't it? Yeah, it's almost March. It's going to be a really good one as well. It's going to be Susie Ruffle and Rachel Paris, both phenomenal comedians, both dear friends

of ours. It's going to be... I'm looking forward to it. The last one was great fun as well. I think the last one, if you didn't catch it, was Carrie Adloyd and Angela Barnes, still available to rent for $5. So if you get yourself to eventbrite.co.uk,

there'll be a link in the show notes. But if you get yourself to eventbrite.co.uk, you can search out Pappies Flakshare, slam down and you'll find where to get the tickets there. Or go to our Twitter at PappiesTweet or our Instagram Pappies comedy, you'll find it all there. Or there. Or go to our Twitter, at Pappy's Tweet, or our Instagram Pappy's Comedy, you'll find it all there, or find it on Facebook. There's plenty of places to find it,

but 25th March, see you there. I've got an email, by the way, which, congratulations. Yeah, you know what? I've never had this email account for ages, and finally, someone's chimed in. This is from Holly, who got in touch with us via Beef Brothers Podcast at gmail.com, which by the way is a great place to send your beefs.

If you want to solve your beefs, send them in. They'll be sold by us and one of our lovely guests in an upcoming Beef Brothers co-cuts. Holly writes, high lads, please stop me if I'm wrong, but I have a distant memory of a chat involving using frozen food as ice cubes. I think we talked about that on the Adam Bucston beef brothers cold cuts, way back towards the start of lockdown. Wow.

I believe, yeah. And Holly's got in touch to give us her story about this. I believe the examples included various fruit, etc. Pretty harmless stuff. Attached is a picture of my friend at Nodstock Festival swilling a beverage that I believe is pertinent to this conversation. It was the first day of the festival.

And in a pretty left field move, my friend had decided to bring all her food with her, frozen. The thinking being, it would last longer maybe, I'm not sure. She then faced the problem of being slightly hunger on the first morning, yes morning, but having all of her food only half thought. She saw that on her scotch egg, this is insane by the way. On her scotch egg, the meat was unfrozen, but the egg remained solid, so

proceeded to eat the meat around it, leaving only the egg, which she then popped in her vodka lemonade as an ice cube, horrific. And she has a company this with a photograph of a friend looking very pleased with herself, a gorgeous, croop glass with an egg floating in it. Cheers everyone, bye, Holly. I absolutely love that. It's a great story.

That's a great story. It's a wonderful story. I felt like one of our first ever beefs was someone complained about their housemate eating the meat off scotchegs and putting the eggs back in the fridge. I think it was the other way around. I think they literally peeled them, like they peeled the meat off,

and then left the egg, like sort of the sort of, what would be the egg shell, the meaty shell? Right. In, that was a very early flat-sheast lambda, wasn't it? Yeah. And maybe those two could get together, and they could be the perfect couple.

Yeah. Makes sense. If you'd like to... If you are the person who sent us in that beef many, many years ago, it would have been 2011. And you're still... It's two years ago. would have been 2011 and you're and you're still still living with the same housemates then we've got great news for them they're about to find love. Well on that bombshell let's get into

let's get into this evening's house meeting I've had a thought I've got an issue. I've got a question. I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat What temperature should we set the heat? Why on earth am I always weak, beating? Who went my bed while I was sleeping? There's a half a beating, beating, beating What's the point? Does life have a meaning?

Half a beating What do you reckon the first ever bet was How do you think betting came even? Like how do you think it even came abou The idea The idea of a bet. Like someone must have had the first bet. And like it must have blown the minds of the people involved to go like...

Tames the world, didn't it? Like, Pebbley can't do that. Or whatever it is or like... Well this is Pebbley can't eat that pebble. We're going back to the idea. Yeah go on. Go on, what's it? I mean I was... pebble we're going back to the idea. Yeah, go on go What I mean I was I was the chicken on the egg Who made the first bet

I stopped talking cuz I was gonna say Have a shit she's terrible bit my chickens as he can't have a shit of course he can have a shit anyway Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, have a shit. Anyway. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I just wait? Look, the pizza pebble though, he's probably right. Wait, that guy is one of the pebble. Are you saying, are you saying in that scenario, and I know you don't want to talk about it, but let's just drill down into it for one second. Are you saying in that scenario,

I bet you my chicken that I can't have a shit, or my chicken has told me it can't have a shit. I'm gonna bet against my chicken that I can't have a shit. Or my chicken has told me it can't have a shit. I'm gonna bet against my chicken. Or the third option. It was a third option, which is, I bet you my chicken that that guy over there can't have a shit. I don't know why you would bet on that guy not being able to have a shit. It's a bad bet.

Are you chicken sure? Do you think shit. It's a bad bet. Are you chicken sure? Do you think the first bet was a bad bet? Well, in my head, almost certainly, because it will have been ill thought through, and they can't have been much to bet on back then. But also, the language must have, well, it depends how far back you go, I don't know, I'm interested to know your thoughts.

Well here's my thought and this is probably so far off, but I feel like betting is a nate. I don't feel like I was ever taught to bet. You just kind of feel like you go like, go on then. I'll give you this if you do it. Or like, he's go on then a dare, that's it. I suppose that's more dare, but it's kind of a whisker away from a bet, isn't it?

I mean, we know the first dare was, you know, I bet it was eat the, go on eat the apple. It was the first dare, didn't it? Eat the apple and I bet you, once you're eating it, you can't have a shit. That's the bit they left out of the Bible, that the serpents, because he tried a lot of different techniques

to attempt Adam and Eve, and the apple was the one that eventually won through. Did you trust? It's a talking snake for fuck's sake. Without eating the apple, would we not have shit? Was that what it comes down to? It's like, we were born in the garden, in the garden of Eden.

No one was shitting, but then once we broke the pact, and we ate the apple, we were cast out of the garden, and we had to take this shit. Like, that's been a long time since I've read that bit of the Bible, but that's why I'm standing. There was like a laundry list of things that was like the consequences, wasn't there? What was the contrarprete's been painful as one of them? What?

Yeah. That's true. I'm certain that's in there. Up until then, everyone was just popping out no probs. Well, they were... I mean, they'd only been Can and Abel up to that point, aren't they? They'd slipped out, which was real smooth.

Yeah, but then Cain and Duncin. But then they murdered each other, which is pretty bad. They had it too easy. I thought they came after Adam and Eve. Yeah, that's right. Oh, okay. Then the only people who have been born, aren't they? Famously Adam and Eve came first.

Yes, I'm sorry. But I didn't even have the courage of a conviction to like... I mean, how do you know the weird details like childbirth being painful, but not the central characters origin story? Well, you know, I just... I don't know. I'll tell you what, I bet... I don't know. I'll tell you what, I bet you I know more about the Bible than you. I bet you a shit. Who's the...

Who's the main character? In the beginning, there was Kane and Able. Famously. Two brothers. After start the whole of the human race together. I reckon you'll be able to find the first bet in the Bible then. Oh, this is good, yeah. It's not K-N-Able, it's like a bet you can't.

A bet you can't. I bet you won't murder me. I bet you this hammer you can't kill me. I bet you were the first two people around. Right mum and dad, oh shit. Should I be able to take in that bet? I'm a full to myself. You better kill me now. Do you think that's what it was out of shame?

I'll tell you what, the Bible gets pretty bleak pretty quickly, doesn't it? When you think the first four people on Earth already, two of them have committed a card will sin, and then they're two offspring, one kills the other one, it's like, it's a bit off from the get-go. Like, if the human race was a series on Netflix, I would very quickly be like, this is a bit too bleak for me. Are they an episode one? Are the first family like a criminal family?

I mean, they're kind of our own. They're like the rough family in the neighborhood, aren't they? It's like the only family in the neighborhood. You've got nothing to contrast to me. Well, you've got God, don't you? Oh, that's really. He's like, I don't certainly like them downstairs. Oh, my God, the noise.

What are they doing down there? Put some clothes on for fuck's sake. They'll send like a good sitcom trailer that. Well, the rough is family in the neighborhood neighborhood because they're the only family in the neighborhood but then end of series one came fuck it out it's like fucking hell taking a turn to go back to the things that that then happened after apart from the pain of childbirth because they realized they they were nude. Is that right? Because they were trotting around in the nude and then they realised they were nude and they decided to wear fig leaves over their genitals.

Yeah, that was it. It's a really weird story, isn't it? Yeah, but it's the first story. There were still, you know, like, it's the first story of a written. They're still ironing out the kinks of story writing. I mean, what's the first bet? I see people making the go of the cock. Was that what it was? Sorry, Clark. What did you say? I said, be two people naked in a garden is my kink. Because you said ironing out the kinks. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, don't worry about it. It got so far away, It just sounded like a confession I just I said I was like oh right Clark wants to you more than welcome to open up What was also my king? What's What was Clarkies first king Yeah, it's a mad bastard story, isn't it? And I think not, like, I don't know what age you start to rumble that it's a mad bastard story,

but like for a while, it really holds up as that like in your head as a kid, this thing of like there was a first, there they are, and then they have some sons, and then it goes bad, and like you kind of, but like it doesn't just, how it's managed to sustain. Is anyone's business? Well, I think that, I think you've, you've hit the nail on the head there, Tom. It's that it's taught to children who are very happy to hear a story

about talking snake, you know. Most, you know, obviously we've, we've both got little kids. Most stories you read to little kids, most children's books are about talking animals. Somewhere along the line, the talking animals gonna crop up. It seems like that is, you know, kid story writing 101. So that's why we look, you know,

I think if you had to learn, you know, if you had to learn Christianity at the age of 35, it'll be a harder nut to crack, wouldn't it? Yeah, and yeah, it happens. People get on board late and they're like, yeah, I'll buy it. Adam and Eve, off we go. I Adam and Eve it.

I do Adam and Eve it. Or as Clark used to say, I do Kain and Abel it. LAUGHTER Kain and Abel, that orange of that tree. Hey, it was Kain and Abel, not Kain and Steve, alright. I'm not. That's a weird phrase, but I'm sticking to it. You know what I say, every morning, I haven't a nice glass of water, and I would just watch my K cane's apple bob up and down.

LAUGHTER I say, up and able. So... So, what else, what else clocky happens to them then? So, the punishment is, you're embarrassed about being nude, which I'm going to level with you, that... That's affected me. That is a punisher I

feel that now you know I don't tell what you're talking about you're the most willing to be nude person I've ever known you are you're like Mr. Natural but there's like a stigma to it isn't it it's just like get over it guys so you know if it wasn't for bloody Adam and Eve the fact that everybody else feels it is the problem not that you feel yeah everyone no one would bat an that if it wasn't for Bloody Adam and Eve, the fact that everybody else feels it is the problem not that you feel Yeah, everyone no one would bat an eyelid if it wasn't for bloody the old snake incident I remember the old snake incidents part of the problem time That's what I got that's what the police called it last time. That's why people are batting an eyelid We're just shutting them.

So, what else? What else is there? Do you know the other ones? There was punishment for the slate, wasn't there? It's like you'll have to crawl on your belly for the rest of the time. So I don't know what the fuck the slate looked like. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I mean, I'm not entirely sure. I'm not entirely sure, but then lizards already exist. So... What was it? What was it, a pogo stick or something?

He looked like Tigger's tail. He had a car. He got his car taken off him. It was like an old school grounding. Right. Look, we're taking the metro. I'm afraid he can't have it. The mini metro.

Yes, the leaves. In the beginning was the mini-metro. Is that where grounding comes from as well? Grounded. You've been grounded. You've been grounded. Did you like to experience? Did you like to experience?

Just mean that you have to lie on the ground. Lie on your bare legs. That's who planks. You can go out with your mates. You just can't stand up. So you have to plank every time. you must have had a tremendous call, which is actually what the snake says to you. Oh, you should try this apple, it's got a tremendous call.

A tremendous call. So I had gone, the snake was the devil. Yes. Oh, no, he's the snake, the devil. Oh, he's the snake just a bad snake. He's a devil. Well, he's the snake, the devil. He's the snake just a bad snake. The snake is a devil. Well, he's a snake. It's a bad snake.

I mean, I'm going to get in this confusion across your right. Are we talking about the gruffalo? No, wait, this is a good point though, because if the snake is the devil and God punishes the devil, and says you want to call your belly the entire time. It's not going to go, well actually, up yours.

I've already left heaven. I've got a live inhale. I've got these cool horns in a pitchfork. I'm not going to crawl around on my belly because you're not inhaled to sort of stop me doing it. The way I was looking at it was the devil took the snake, which presumably had legs. And then they said, right, to put on the snakes,

all snakes now have to crawl on their belly. Now the devil's fucked off, he's no longer a snake. It's like, it's a big like quantum rate. It's like if Batman got caught having a piss against a warm memorial. And they were like, right, we're gonna go and shoot all the bats now. And it'd be like, what?

And it'd be like, yeah, some dude dressed as Batman was having a fucking piss against the warm memorial. And you know what and it'd be like yeah some do dressed as Batman was having a fucking piss You know He was on the lash he was dressed as Batman. It's like right steady on boys get your rifles We're gonna go shoot all the fucking bats and all the bats are like hang on Because the devil was only dressed as a snake right and for that the snakes lost his legs or his car or his mini metro. So it's a bad story. What is a bad story? I mean a little caveat. I'm not entirely sure anything I've said been right so far. Let's never held us back in the past. Let's not worry about

that now. I don't think I've got a feeling the serpent wasn't the devil. I don't think it was just a bad snake. I think it was just a bad snake. I should have said it was a bad snake going around. It was a bad snake and it was a bad apple. It was a bad stuff, a bad fruit. No, I've got a feeling the serpent was just up to some tricks. I don't think it was the devil itself. So if the punishment to the serpent who at that point had some sort of like

feet, yeah, some sort of feet, how do they know which ones are snakes and which ones are all the other reptiles that look like snakes with feet? Like how, oh they just, how are they deciding? It's because if they're like a used to just have one big foot at the bottom of the tail. If anything, it was a relief. They were pleased. If anything they were like, bloody, oh this was a blessing because we were fucked on one foot. Honestly, the pain, the, the, always at the chiropractor, I'm going to have their spine cracks back into place, weren't they? If you're hopping around on one foot, where the foot, your leg turns immediately into your spine,

which turns into your neck, which turns into your head. Oh, you, you, I mean, no wonder, no wonder they were having to get their kicks by telling people to eat apples, because you just want, otherwise, you'd be there in sort of chronic pain, wanting to murder yourself. It's also pretty bleak that an apple, apple must have

been the naughtiest fruit in the garden, right? Think about a bleak. For all the press that Eden gets for being wonderful, that the forbidden fruit was an apple. It's like, come on, that's as good as it gets. Are you shitting me? But isn't the, isn't, is it, it's never referred to as an apple in the Bible? Is that right? It's never actually... It's always called. Oh, can now we are blowing up some fucking myths and... Okay, so... ...turn in some truths here.

In your mind's eye then, if it's not an apple and it's the forbidden fruit, it's the best fruit in the Garden of Eden, what fruit is it? Great question, everyone. We've started with a great question. We've moved on to a great question. And in between Clarkie's time is one of his kinks So it's been it's been it's been an up and down episode

I've been I've been up for most of it. I'll get a deli Can we get this piece of the liver to the liver to the liver? As we do! So hang on, are you telling me someone's imposed the apple into proceedings? Well I think quite a lot of the Bible has been imposed along the way because it's been translated and re-translated, you know, according to the Wims of Monarchs. The first Monarch came along and was like, look, this story of two brothers who were living in a garden together to start the human race. Let's change that up shall we?

Let's give them parents. Let's make them a bloody man and woman, shall we? Let's give them parents for God's sake. Basically, we're gonna go round and see what I've forbidden fruit, so isn't it really? That's what we're talking about. Here we go. Clarkie.

See, my favorite fruit, I think it should be a two different things. Does it have to be a fruit? I was going to go with a life of sourdough. That's only because I'm off bread at the moment. I'm off bread at the moment. I love for sourdough hanging off the tree of knowledge. Oh, you're off bread, boy.

I'm off bread, boy. It's absolutely terrible decision. Are you getting any benefits? I guess, I mean, I don't know if it's funny, I'm kind of trying to stop putting on weight and shit a bit better. I guess if you call those benefits then... Listen, is this because of the bet I made with you? LAUGHTER

Just let it go, mate. Just post me the quiz. I'm a pro, man. I'm a pro, man. You're not getting my pebble mate. I believe that's the problem isn't it? Have you had your pebble yet? Cherry for me. Absolutely a chit, oh yeah, saucy cherry. Sexy, sexy, the sexy is true.

No one says you've popped your raspberry, have they, no one goes, oh, you lost your, you lost your plum. No, you lost your plum. There's a different thing, isn't it? Because my favorite fruit, I would say could be sexier than a cherry. What's your favorite fruit?

Strawberry. Strawberry and cream, strawberry's in champagne. It's a sexy, it's a sexy fruit. What did you get the hot, is Wimbledon, your kink? Is that your other kink? It's a bit like a garden, isn't it? It's two, it's two men in Hickarden. Yeah, it really is.

Are you watching the double-double? Oh, I'm fucking long. Long tennis is the clocky thing. Oh, they're in the garden. They've got the straw reason cream Clarke's been banned from the mix doubles. He's the reason they've got a roof He was pulling it honestly the last time Clarke was there Clifford's out to sing a song for ages while they cleaned up It's not raining folks

It's sleeting Clarke It's... it's sleeting Clarky. I'm on. It's sleeting Clarky. Hallelujah. I'm fucking snow gloving here. Famously one of the plagues, one of the seven plagues. One of the seven plagues was Clarky's phone party. I never thought I'd be nostalgic for the the for the boils, but this is terrible.

For the love of God, take my first born, please bring back the locusts for God's sake. We had the locusts got to play a part in the plagues. As a kid you'd be like, that sounds pretty cool actually. Would my clothes allow... Lows a locus coming round. He didn't come in real quick. He'd never sit a locus in your life had you. No I guess you might have seen a grasshopper or a cricket.

That's kind of the closest thing you've got to it. They're quite families. Oh they're fucking really friendly. They're like the Disney, you know, they're the friendliest creatures when you're growing up, I think. But you still get plates of locusts and it's, it's brutal. No, it will. No, it will. The Bible was a sickle of a hampton. I know, me and Tom were taught in our church. It'll be. It wasn't more of a hampton that. Me and Tom were taught in our church. Or be it wasn't all the Hampton that me and Clark have abandoned from our church garden. Okay. That's all you need to know.

Are you in midlands? Mormons. You believe that we're trying to wreck more than just a tennis net. Okay. I'm not going to say, um, you know, I'm not saying like, well, you're, you're only processing it from what you know Don't you say you're there in Wolverhampton and you're reading about the plays and you're like oh god Boyles are a ball death of the first born. Well, that's my sister. I can take it

The river running red you like go. Oh, okay, the river turned into blood. You like shit. Yeah, it's pretty epic It's like you know into blood you like shit yeah it's pretty epic it's like you know yeah big dude but you know isn't what come on raining fire was that one of them I mean what was the other ones oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and then that was the final plague where your wife's head turns up in a box. I know what I'm talking about guys. No, I mean you can only process it through what you know and like you sit in the wall ramp that you think in a bunch of grasshoppers. I yeah, well I'll have a nice time. We'll get out in the playground at break and

you know, chat with them. You know, one of the plague ground. Am I right? Get out of the block. You're not wrong. I can tell you that, but nothing wrong with it. Clarky, we enjoyed the hell out of it. I'll tell you what, like, locus would play havoc with Wimbledon. I'll tell you, if the locus have their way with Wimbledon, you know the way the tennis court feels at the end of Wimbledon, where there's those big...

I'm boring myself already. I'm not. I was going to say, how do you know what the tennis court feels like at the end of Wimbledon? You've never been, you make it seem like you were, you know, sure, I got knocked out in the early rounds, but I did place. One of the tennis court, go on, tell her, what was the tennis court? One of the tennis court feel like at the end of Wimbledon, right? Okay, so, talk us through.

I cut out salad though, I swear, give me two years I'll end of Wimbledon, right? OK, so, to look at the start. If I cut out salad though, I swear, give me two years, I'll be in Wimbledon. LAUGHTER I feel, I'm feeling good, boys, I'm feeling good. At the start of Wimbledon, it looks like a bloody snooke table, doesn't it? It's like a green carpet. By the end, after two weeks of champion chip tennis, and absolute globules of cl Clarky raiding down. Then it's kind of like you have big bear patches,

like muddy patches and it's like it looks really thread bare. And it's part of the beauty of law on tennis is you've seen the journey of the tournament play out on center court. But obviously, all I was saying was like, if Locust have their way, by the start, by day one at the press. By the day one, it's the French Open, you know what I mean?

It's like brown clay. Again, I'm sorry, but I don't know the references here, but absolutely why I tried to get out of it while I could. But anyway, to answer your question. I would say passion fruit I just think there's something quite you know this license open and scooping it out. It feels you know it feels You're not in it. Yeah, you're not What about a figure's Fig, Fig, oh that says like says like the first ever bet doesn't it

Oh, so it's like the first ever bet, doesn't it? Do you think it's this reason? Go on then mate. Do you think the edited the Bible? That was the actual one. I was going to say, that's one of the first, the first King came along and said, look hang on, we can't have this story about a guy sticking his dick in an apple going right? The old apple Cora, we can't go for that. Let's change it a little bit.

Let's have his mixes up a bite out of it. Okay, I'm happy with that now. Okay. So, if you're the first king to come along then and have his way with that story, what are you editing? What's your spin that's going to make it slightly more palatable or, you know, play to your own agenda if the scholars are to be believed? Well, yeah, you'd get, I mean, the first thing you do.

Oh, sorry. As a king, please. Matthew. Hello. Hello, my royal print maker I would like who to change the first story Hello mate how are you? I've been print making all day. Can imagine it's quite tiring work. Oh my god I'm bored of it. Here have a golden coin. Oh thank you. Yeah, that's

great. Listen, listen, wait, I don't want to do with this coin when was the last time you had a shit. I could, I feel like a double this coin here. Yeah. It was this morning. Now I'm going to have a lovely last time. There you go. Easy calm, easy guys. That's the life of a printmaker. The money comes, the money goes. It was the smalling in one of my many identical toilets. No! Oh, anyway.

Listen, printmaker. Printmaker, printmaker. Listen, I'm still... I'm still a printmaker. Make me a print. Okay, I am using you know I'm still using potatoes. You're a very early you're a very early king. I print maker print maker make me some chips. Match better. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no One spot is an ethereal. Yeah. That is a one big spur-do. I would great, I would great-fly accept you carving the word viable into a potato and passing it off.

I mean, let's face it at this stage, most people can't read it. Exactly. So just, I mean, just carve something, in fact, no, I tell you what, carve a picture of me, the king, into a potato and have one in every hotel room in the entire... In the top drawer of every hotel room, in the entire land, in the entire country. That is my first demand. Can you, for your second demand, can you create hotels? You should have had that as my...

I really can't have enabled this one, haven't I? You've got the, you've put the able before the game. Hey. I've able before me, Adam. Anyway, thank you, thank you so much, Prince Mega. No, don't mention it. Have a warm duel. Oh, what a wreath.

The chef. Take that, your French Joel. Oh, what a weird, the chef. Take that, your French person. Oh. I'd die there's only a big French. French. French. I'd die there's I live French would be a really funny, it'd be really funny last words for a Frenchman.

If you think it would, weirdly, it would be very jingoistic if you said I died as I lived British. It would be weirdly, it would be very jingoistic if you said, I died as I lived British. It would be really. I bet someone else did that. It's not what I said. I reckon that's what mogul, that's how mogul will go out. Mogwai. Mogwai.

Mogwai. What? What are you doing? The jungle ball. You took that mogul. You took him out someone who's like a normal person Harry Potter What is this is muggle is what is muggle in the night garden? No, isn't muggle one of the characters is always a hoggle from the the labry Who is this?

He Jacob Reese Mugg is talking about oh Jacob Reese Muggle of course Jacob Reese Muggle I'm sorry, I'm sorry, come on, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. Fuck you, what? Hashtag. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. Fuck you, what? Hashtag. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. Fuck you, what?

Hashtag. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Clarky. I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. You fucking want me? I fucking want. Has been dead. I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. Has been dead. Can we try and pin down some of the things that they pointy show?

The snake at the roll on his belly. The wife had pain in childbirth and the husband got an Adam's apple. There's punishment. I think he was the apple. I got the apple. He's surprised that he got, he choked on the apple. But that's why you've got an Adam's apple. That's why men have got an Adam's apple.

It's representative of the apple getting stuck in his throat. That's not the Bible, is it? Is that not why the Adam's Apple is called the Adam's Apple? I think it was called the Adam's Apple just post Bible, I think. Of course, maybe. Of course post Bible. No, but it's not in the Bible, is it? Right, okay. But I thought it was because he ate the apple. He got stuck in his throat and that is why we have an Adam's apple now. Adam's not saying that. Is it not like, because, you know, is it not the same as the reason why women have one

less rib or one more rib then? Is that a bit of a mosh themselves off? We talked about this before though, I feel like I've been definitely talked about not to think that's as off, but they'd be really not too. They don't have a hung rib, isn't it? What? Just hung rib. Isn't it that's what it was called? Right, because it's like that.

But you do. So they didn't do that? That wasn't punishment, was it? That was how they made it. That's how they got created, yes. Yes, yes, that's right in the body. We mean just have the same amount of ribs as men. That wasn't punishment was it that was how they got created. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's right in the in the I mean just have the same matter ribs as men and

So we don't also have Adam's apples. They're not just they're just not as pronounced I mean surely we've covered this before as well, but what that's actually right that Yeah, to take a rib to make a person if you can make a person in the first place just make a person. If you can make a person in the first place, just make another person. You don't need to get, like it seems mad, doesn't it? Yeah, you're right. Why did he then have to, and like, can I do an Adam at that point? You're going to do what, mate? I mean, yeah, that's the style of my own, thank you. They're kind of the first operation. And we're talking about presumably, well, I don't know because maybe this was one of the punishments, but we're talking about presumably this is pre-anesthetic. None of that's been created. God's having to go in, but you know, he's probably just getting like a sharp and stone or something and just

chiseling it out that way. We're back on pebbles. Please don't pass the sharp and stone. In the beginning there were pebbles I'm embarrassed to say I'm not sure I know any other creation stories though So I think there was like there's one in New Zealand where it's like the Like a god that pulls up land from under the ocean Which I kind of felt that feels closer to the truth.

I've seen Moana mate. Yeah, that's it, there you go. Yeah. That's the guy, absolutely. Maui. It's Grai. They talked about him a lot in New Zealand, so like it's like that's their creation story.

But like, that's a good creation story, right? That feels like geographically That's kind of quite close to what probably happened If you're a scientist you'd probably be more happy with that one Then like do you think the do you think the Garden of Eden story kind of fuels our kind of like celebrity kind of Like I centred kind of like eye-centered kind of culture. The fact that we all stem from this kind of like celebrity couple, like,

because they are like, they are kind, there's like a touch of like, the royals about them or like the Kardashians, and like that kind of, we tend to like, when you think about the big couples in the world like you got a Stabilum and even they were right up there. They were the posh and becks of their day They were they absolutely were yeah and like you know and I don't know who was the merger can or able I

Don't know I don't I think can Think can I think can you sounds like it sounds like, it sounds like Kane's nasty. It just, Kane sounds worse, doesn't he? Yeah. I think Kane murdered Abel. Okay, but here's a weird thing. If Kane's the murderer, you meet a lot more Kane's

than you do Abel's. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, I'm not sure I follow this We should say Tom's in prison at the moment That's what I'm not eating bread Every day

No, I have many canes do you know how many people have you met in live called Cain? Right? Some? Yeah, some people call Cain. Some. Is it so? I'm only saying the same way, I mean I know that doesn't really matter. How many people have you met named Able? Yeah, true.

So, when you think about Able forever, that's the only one I can think of. And I'm not, you've met Able forever. Right, next, I'm not next. Able forever. So, do you ask him about is Rochets. LAUGHTER FAMILY. I'm Bacida Able Forever.

We're in this bad minute, you know, when he's boiling us. LAUGHTER A critic must have said it. It's not what surely. LAUGHTER I tell you what, the, the documentary about the making of Bad Lieutenant recently. And something I didn't realise, obviously that famous scene where Harvey Kytel is at the car window, turns out there was just tennis coverage on the radio. It's just a really big fan.

It's just the semi-finals of the US Open big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big fan. It's just a big The first ever original bad boy came, you know. He's the one people tend to name their kids after much more than able. You don't meet any many, many ables. No. It's great. The other thing about came and ables, that was just occurred to me,

is that they had, so Adam and Eve, first man and woman, they have sons, right? What's the next step? Oh yeah. What happens now? I've thought about that. Able doesn't go back to Eve, does he? I mean, well, did they have a bunch of kids

they'll have to kind of enable? I think that's the hope. But even that's not a great hope, is it? Because there's still all the kids. No, it's a narrow gene pool to begin with. Yeah, but you can't hold that against them. No, no, no, no. No wonder Adam Sticking is knobbing some app,

but the app is actually the safest place shouldn't have punished the guy. Is that why if somebody has a very big bellened, it's called an Adam's knob? That's exactly why. I shouldn't have punished the guy. Is that why if somebody has a very big bellend, it's called an Adam's knob? That's exactly why. That's exactly it, yeah. If you've got a big red bellend

with the leaf sticking out the top of it, it's nice enough. Did you just know a guy called Adam who had a big knob? Yeah. Because that guy's knob was known as Adam's knob. It's not. It does smack of, it does smack of unoriginality. And don't give me

wrongs, I'm saying I don't have a go, I think it's a nice name. But if you call your son Adam, it's a bit root one, isn't it? It's like, I coming, come on. I mean think a little bit outside of is it really very classic or is it the ultimate classic? If you're going if you can really root one and I've never heard someone do this, God. You're allowed to call your kid God who's gonna stop you They must they must be a god because they're definitely Jesus's but Or Jesus I but there's there's my hamids as Jesus is there are prophets but like God God there's not a lot of Alice There's Alan's there's Alan's yeah, which is

Near and up next quite Alan obviously famously means next to God. But yeah, I mean, could you call, I mean, I know there are rules against calling your kid like, president, isn't that, like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, or like, I mean they're president fuck president fucks quite cool name

This is my son president fuck No one's gonna know I was gonna mess with him on the first day of school, aren't we? President fuck would be the most straight-laced kid. It's like an inverse boy name, Sue You give him a name that sounds like a fucking dead Kennedy's album and he's going to be Mr. You know he's gonna be a charted accountant. This is my son. He's doing business that he's at the month for you actually. He's got a first. Really proud of him.

He's charted a game. President Fox a game to see. PFA. Yeah but the thing about calling your son God, like obviously we're, you know, we're mankind aren't we? And like, you have a child, it's mankind. And you go to the fucking original Adam or Eve, sorry, we shouldn't leave Eve at this. Yeah, what Eve's not as popular though, is it? Obviously there's plenty of people called Eve, a lot more people called Eve than Abel.

But it's not, it's not as common as Adam. I've met more Adams than I've met Eves, right? It's not got the, you know, do you think that's fair? It's absolutely fair. I love that. He was a full name, yeah. Well Evelyn.

Yeah, you could be longer, just like you could have Adam Antium. But you can also call a kid Adam as well. I call my kid Adamantium because I'm a big fan of Wolverine. We've got it. If it's a boy, it's a toss up between Logan or Adamantium. And the full name of Eve is Evergreen because of the food fires fans. It's ever long, just fair for you.

I mean, as a radio ex DJ, I can't let that slide. I was taking a real punt there. Who's ever green by, I'm gonna take this moment and make it less forever, is that Will Young? I mean, it sounded like Will Young, but then that's, of course, of course you're only at it. Of course, and then,'s... Of course, you're saying this is it? Of course, and immediately.

And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately.

And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately.

And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. And immediately. I have so many tabs open. It's a fucked up story. It's no real wonder when the mess were in really. If you think very early doors were told, you had this perfect place and you fucked it and you were told not to do something and the woman fucked it. She fucked it for the man and let's blame that. That's so true. And actually an animal fucked it for humans as well. It's like, so you can't really trust animals. It's a mess.

It's an absolute, sorry. You get the creation story in therapy and the therapist would have an absolute field day. Yeah. If God is like the ultimate teacher, right, which is sort of what his position is, then this is where we get to the Ari Van Gelical part, sorry, strapping list. Yes, sorry, bring it in, cross me. Have you turned to Christ? Anyway, carry on Matthew. I turned to Christ. I mean, I've got long hair and a beard, so yeah, kind of. I've said

it. I've got long hair in a beard, so yeah, kind of. Yeah, I'd say to, aesthetically speaking, you have. It's for others to say that I've turned to Christ. It's not for me. But, so the first thing you shouldn't do with children is tell them they're bad, right? That's one thing you should never, you shouldn't tell kids they're bad because, you know, you should let them discover it themselves.

Exactly, exactly. But it just reinforces the idea that that that that is who they are and that is an unchangeable thing. So that's that's so true. And also, yeah, like you say, blaming the blaming the women as well, there's the patriarchy right there. Yeah. And basically, if your kid went to school and wrote that story

in class and handed it in, the teachers would read it and go like, I think we better get the parents in and have a chat about this kid. Yeah. Because there's a lot of fucked up shit going on with this. Yeah, all right. We'll have a chat about the parents. What have you been teaching them?

Well, then the parents come in and it turns out they're just two brothers. Hahaha. I like, it explains a lot. it turns out they're just two brothers. They're two brothers, you've got a kid called president fuck. There's nothing wrong with this setup. And they're in the process of murdering. We're in the process of murdering. We're in the process. Can we make this quick?

We're halfway through. I'm sorry, I'm on the way to murdering it. And another question I don't know, the answer to, I'm used to, I'm just, I am on the way to murdering him. And another question I don't know the answer to, I'm used to, but don't know anymore. Why did Kane kill Abel? Because it wasn't about his coat. That was like, he made, I was like, it's because he was jealous of his coat.

And then I was like, no, no, no, no. It's not that, but was he woman troubles? Was it also woman troubles? Well, if it was woman troubles, then obviously we're into that kind of... Where did the women come from? Well, we have to get over the fact that they were obviously related in the story. That, you know, it's all a bit family wedding, but like you kind of have to go like,

what was the issue, or was it over like a stick or... Or did they lose a bet? Did they lose that first ever? Was that the first ever bet? It's, yeah. I mean, I bet, yeah, I bet I can't kill you. But what, in your head, if I was to say now, from your, not, your remembering of the Bible,

why did Cain kill Abel? I think he was, you two can't talk like that. Well, I was gonna say jealous. That's exactly what I was gonna say, is what jealous. What, what of? I can't remember. But I think it Well, I was gonna say jealous. That's exactly what I was gonna say, is what jealous. What, what of? I can't remember. But I think it was, I mean, now I don't think this,

but I would guess like parents' tension or something. Yeah, I thought favorite child, yeah. I thought he would. But isn't that Joseph? That's what I do think that's a later tale. There is definitely, there's lots of favorite children because there's the prodigal son as well, which is kind of has a whiff of that about it.

The Bible leans, the Bible leans really heavily on picking your face. The whole favourite, yeah, yeah, yeah, it does, doesn't it? But like, I can't be. I can't remember anywhere in the Bible. We're like, an Adam and Eve were playing more with Cain than Abel, so Abel was like, I'm going to bang him with my shoe or some shoe. It's not like... You think he sandaled him to death?

He sanded him to death. I'm sad because of a stick. I guess that I'd sanded by that. Sandals, of course. Of course they took him off the stage. They didn't need them anymore. The stakes set up a shoe shop. I run it with a crox. Make sure you do the cool snakes.

Snakes. Snakes. Snakes can just invest in heavily in a pair of sneakers. Just my fucking luck. Just taking me legs. Just putting the ladders. So I don't want to fuck up. the fuck are we gonna do with these? First ever game, let's have a bit. Hashtag! What's the worst thing you've considered eating? Hashtag! Well, there you go. Thank you, listen there.

Er, as always, stay tuned for the Patreon Neighborhood Rock Troll call. Today's episode was produced by... Emma Corsham. Corsham, Corshamee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du- Oh no! I can't believe he said spindle mate. That is so well out of order. Oh no! Said the owner of said spindle. That's right.

It was John Tindle. Oh no. Oh no. Well. Well. Oh no! Well, well, well, in fact, down the And a vicious, cough man. It an old sound, lived a family of friendly hens. But oh dear, one of them shot in a hud.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Dear. It was the mischievous Jenny Gritton. Oh dear. It was the mischievous Jenny Britton. Oh no. Oh no. There was a family of little stones.

Sometimes they would sink, but in the good times they'd be a skimming. But one of those stones was a kidney stone? And it belonged to the John Kimmon? Oh no, no, no. Oh, let's hope he never passes. Oh, oh dear. Oh dear. Let dear, oh dear.

Let me tell you now. Today is the day of the big picnic. Oh dear. Oh dear. Let me tell you now that today is the day of the big picnic. Oh god. Oh, someone's pissed in the lemonade. Oh!

Someone spunked on the flannel. Oh! I'm not a flannel that. Oh! Somebody has squatted down and done an absolute steamer on the cuss cuss. Right on top of the cuss cuss and it's all curly and currently most fingers are pointing at Robert Shirley oh no dear let me tell you the tale of David and his magic pole he put it here he put it there and in the end he put it

in Richard hole. In Richard hole? No, just Richard hole. Oh dear. Let me tell you the tale of a little family of mice but unfortunate. Their life wasn't going to planland because the youngest no set their parents I'll tell you who witnessed that and it's really setting back for years was Paul Jack Scanlon. Oh, Paul Jack Scanlon. Let me tell you the tale of a dog who never did a poo. I'll tell, oh I don't know why I've started his song. I'll tell you where I started. I'll tell you if you used to go on a poo.

I'll tell you, you long and and not to let too you true. Oh no. This was a dog whose owner had inserted several bungs into the anus of said dog and the owner was Phil Lipp youngs. Hooray! Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to play. She searched and she searched all along through to death. Finally, she found a good friend, Louise J. Then they both did a show.

There was a tiny ant. Oh? Oh, and this ant was... ...in trance. Oh, yes. D next, the same. His name was San Francis. Oh, let me tell you the story of a very tall and very noble giraffe. He would eat from the trees up tall and up high, but he could never drink from the low, low well, and that was his cross to bear and the giraffe, today. And the girar, so now you...

Was there a girar, I'm a fossuer? Oh, cross the bear fossuer! Silly, oh! Get into allow it! Oh, that's obviously gonna allow myself that. Well, that was a lot of fun, and I tell you who else is fun. Peter Yann. It was fun. Someone drank their own puke.

Oh, it wasn't even for a damn, was it Luke? Oh, no quiet. Just wanted to know what the kick was. Right, right, sticking. Here we go. Let me tell you now the tale of an oscelot, an oscelot who deep within an espadrille made their home. And that oscelot's name was Richard Com. And that Oslo's name was Richard Com. Let me tell you of a spooky skeleton.

Oh, day he'd rattle his bones, and it would keep awake, poor Ian Jones. Oh, spooky. Well, let me tell you the tale. Well, okay. Well, alright, they're mates. Someone's painted a picture of a knife in Bevin, but unfortunately they've used their own shit to do it. Oh, I got even making out. It's from Sarah Kevan. Deliberately pronouncing her surname in a different way to the rhyme you yourself set up. And why not? We're all having a nice time.

Oh, loving, a lovely day. Let me tell you now about a family of kimono dragons. Oh, some of them had a vicious claw, some of them had a happy claw, but one of them had a sad claw, and that kimono dragon was called Kevin Bradshaw. was called Kevin Bradshaw. Let me tell you the tale of little Timmy, who would go and do a poo all on his own. He'd find it so lonely, until one day he met a lovely lad called Tony. I'm gonna stick my own fist at my ass. That's the plan. Oh no, he's up to his old tricks again. He's Dan. Oh my god. And who's this? Greasing up his fist to help him succeed. Oh, it's Gavin Reed. Oh, well, no. Someone else has joined the party. Oh well, you can't fault them. Especially not. Well, it's Holly Walton. Don't sponsor them to do it. Oh no! Someone's given them lots of money and they've raised millions. Clearly got a bit of money to throw about.

Has James Williams? Oh, I mean, sponsoring them is one thing, but now someone's decided to give them multiple awards. Oh, you've ruined this year's BAFTA's Mark Swords. Oh boy, well, they're gonna be fitting it all up then but they'll need to relax. Well someone's found some special pills. Lucky for him, old Phil Hills. Don't fund their efforts further please. Oh!

Someone's delivered them a carrier bag full of cash. They could only accept it with one hand, but it belonged to A. Oh dear. It's a real shame that this is the way it's gone. But of course, you know who's really to blame? Tom, brackets, Lindner, close brackets. Oh what a shame! Well, we've reached our story time has reached an end and that concludes today's Patreon. Neighborhood Watch! Roll call! Now sit back down. Not on that! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no