Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Brick Pecker) S11E19

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Thinking, brick peckers, pen choices and styleMAY 23rd - Pappy's Flatshare: Beef Brothers: Cold Cuts: Sausage Link https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-beef-brothers-cold-cuts-sausage-link-tickets-153364243581Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, Lister Deer! Yarbitom! Sorry. No, no, it's alright, man. I enjoyed it. Yarbitom. And I'm Matthew. Oh, my welcome aboard! Oh, my gosh! The good shit! How sweet! How sweet! The plank, a no mistake! We're going to keelhole parry after that. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting.

House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting.

House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting.

House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House meeting. House, it's always great to have you guys here. Hope you can see. You know, it's the WFK here, obviously. Thanks for having us. Thanks for letting us into your ear canal.

Yeah. Be a treat. Yes, anyway. Before we get cracking, we really want to big up the next show we're doing, it's very, very exciting. We're doing a brand new format based on beef brothers, cold cuts. We've not done this before. We're going to be trying it out as a live stream.

We'd love you to be there to help us out with it. It's called, beef brothers, it's called, Papi's Flakshare, Beef Brothers Cold Cuts, sausage link. Catchy, you know, it's up there with all the great chat show titles. And it's kind of, it's not like it's weekend, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

So it's like having me for those cold cuts we have brilliant guests on to go through. Well, speaking of going through, what just gone through you, Harry? You're right. The peppermint tea is repeating on me. It's just like beef with cold curts where we have brilliant guest on and they solve the beefs of listener deers, but with a new little twist like you get a twist between sausage and cheese.

Like you twist the bangers together. So, the idea is the comics are going to be solving not only your beefs, but they're going to be solving each other's beefs in a link. So, we've got James A. Castor, we've got Darren Harrier, we've got Lou Sanders, we've got Ed Gamble, we've got Fatter Hill Gory and we've got Athena Cablenu and they're all going to be solving each other's beefs in turn. It's gonna be so fun, I'm really excited about it. It's gonna be on May the 23rd, Sunday evening at 7.30,

and you can get your tickets for eventbrite.co.uk, EVNT, B-R-I-T-E, there's a link in the show notes, there'll be a link on our Twitter or on our Facebook or on our Instagram. Go there now and get your tickets straight away because it's going to be hella fun. Yeah, it's a great lineup. And we're going to give it the best go we possibly can. Yes, thank you.

I left that bin out because I thought that was just something we'd agreed amongst ourselves but the truth is out now guys, we're going to give it a really good go. I don't know the rumors. They've been whispers, but we're going to put paid to those right now and say we're going to give it the best go we can. Before we get cracking as well, I thought I would read this message out from Ivan who got in touch with us via papysflatshareitgmail.com. Great way to get in here. We'd love to hear from you. You were.

He says, hi Matthew Emma Tom and Ben, in order of who I think would get eaten first in a Donner party-esque situation, which I think was the time when an expedition went wrong and everyone had to eat each other, the Donner party. But, um. Donner could bad part. I'm on my tail. Yeah, I'm on my tail.

I mean, you can eat me first, but there's not much of me. He says, no, he's talking about... It's the most pathetic thing I've ever done. Who's definitely gonna eat him first after that. No, you're just gonna kill me and not eat me. He's the most first. Oh, I'm not mine, actually. Oh.

I died as I lived, getting a lovely friendship. So he's responding to Clark's thing of talking about wanting to join the old Crown Green Bowls to feel young. Yes. So Ivan says, on things to make you feel young, when I joined the trade union in my mid-twenties, it was amazing to feel so young. I'm now nearing 14, I still get to feel like a whipper snap at most of the time at union meetings, so heartily recommend. Clarky, join the trade union. I mean, you have to have a trade.

I was going to say. That is the problem. Maybe. Yeah, maybe I just need to get a trade. If anyone's got a suggestion for a trade for Clarky, Papi's flat show with Gmail. If anyone wants to. Don't call it broadcasting. Troy podcasting, Clarky.

No, not for me. We can, I don't think we can unionize podcasters. If we unionize podcasters, the first person to quit would be Emma. So we, I hate to be one of those guys, but we can't unionize. Well, here's why you should be the first to quip, because she's had to edit this incredible house meeting. I've had a thought. I've got an issue.

I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting.

Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Do you think... Constantly? I know, problem. There's no way of switching off.

There's no off on the junior switch for you, is there Tom? It's constantly worrying. What have been some of your biggest ideas recently that you think you've had? Well, your biggest thoughts, they're not necessarily ideas, they're not looking for an invention, see, but what have been the big thoughts that have troubled that favorite brain of yours? I mean, I've spent a bit of time today thinking about food packaging, kind of like, oh yeah, cans, like food cans.

Oh yeah. And like, drink cans, it's pretty mad actually. Why do you think drink cans are mad it's pretty it's pretty mad actually Why do you think cancer mad? Oh, is it mad that you were thinking about them so much? I mean probably a bit of both It's just it's just insane to me that like you put like if you look at the whole soft drink Kind of phenomenon. Yeah, that's not doesn't work. It's not right. It works, but it's hard. I don't know anyway What is it? What is it? You don't like about the candle. What is it you work, it's not right, it works, but it's hard. I don't know, anyway. What is it, what is it you don't like about the can though? What is it you think that it's, it just doesn't see that the most,

I mean, what would be the alternative method of ferrying Coca-Cola around the planet? It just feels like, it feels like the polar opposite of what it starts us when you look at what food was, an ease, and how it exists in its form. Right. And what we've done to it is we've put it, we've got it into this can. And it's like if you...

So this is a fruit, because it's a fruit flavour drink, isn't it? Coca-Cola. You saw it, I don't know. I mean, is it caramel flavour? It's not caramel flavour, yeah. But is it, is it, is it, is it Dr Pepper that's fruit flavour? Dr Pepper, yeah, like, it's like, yeah. But it's so far away, like Coca-Cola is so far away

from any food, isn't it? Coca-Cola's fucking mad actually, that it's done so well for what it is. It's not an entirely pleasant drink, but it's managed to convince everyone that it's not on entirely pleasant drink, but it's managed to convince everyone that it's nigh on essential. Yeah, I agree with this. I don't, I hardly ever drink Coca-Cola.

And when I do, I always expect it to be a lot better than it is. And I think it's, like another good example of this is, the other day I arrived early for work, and I had it in my head, even from getting into the car, and it happens maybe once every two years. Getting into the car I thought I'm going to have a McDonald's and I arrived early for work and I went to a McDonald's drive-through and I ordered the McDonald's breakfast and ate it in the car and it

was so awful it was so bad it was disgusting. I mean I ate all of the car, and it was so, it was so bad. It was disgusting. I mean, I ate all of it as well. Like, I took one bite, I was like, this is awful, but I still ate it all and ate the hash brown and the lot. And it was the real predicament as well, is being in your own car. You kind of hotboxing yourself, yeah.

You can't really escape from it. With the fumes of it. I was hotboxing myself, yeah. Yeah. But also, the queue was huge., like I was almost late for work. That's how long the queue was for these people who wanted to get this McDonald's breakfast. I mean, I'm hopelessly...

Devoted to the ink. Devoted to the... The gold marches. Yeah, to the breakfast, yeah. It's problematic. It's problematic. It's the same with Coca-Cola, isn't it? Particularly, what I think is right, if you put us in the fucking wild, we're in the

Hunger Games or some shit, you parachute us into a forest. The three of us, specifically, or there we are. The three of us? Yeah, here we go. The three of us, right. And we're off on our... What do we say in the Hunger Games? You say, I give myself a tribute?

Is that the Hunger Games? I think I'm up for my stuff. I offer myself a stressor, okay, yeah. So we're in the Hunger Games. But either way, we're in the fucking, we're parachuted in and it's like, we got it, we got a look after ourselves. Someone's gone off, you've got often got berries, great. You know, you think we're going to have a crack at some of those berries for better or worse. Yeah. They could kill us.

Clarke's killed a seagull. You can't go. Really hard to do. We're going to have a go at that. You reckon you can't go, you're instinct is going to say that. Right. And meanwhile, it's like we need to find water, we need to find liquid. And so, off I go with my divine in rods or whatever it is. And it's like I find a stream, there's like a pool. Yeah.

And next to that pool, in the pool is a man with no arms. And it's my beast. No, no, no. No. At first, you're talking to a dog. So, no, I'm no. No. So like, at first you thought you were talking to a dog. So no, no, I'm saying like, you look at water. Yeah. Look how? Yeah.

Look, look at water. It's what we need. It's what the body needs. Look at it. It's incredible. It's insane. It's beautiful. It's a miracle, isn't it?

It's like, it's see through, but it's there. It's liquid, but it's like, yeah, it's nuts, actually. It's see through, but it's there. It's liquid, but it's there. It's liquid but it's like yeah, it doesn't it's nuts actually It's see it's see through but it's there it's liquid but it's nuts How long have you been working for the water marketing board because these slogans are good man Water's off the water is off the fucking scale and then next to it if you find a puddle of water and you find a puddle of Brown this brown Fizzing liquid that was sticky. Slightly viscous. No one.

No one is going to go, I'll drink that actually. No one. No one to go, you know that thing there? You should really drink that. You've been like, are you fucking insane? Look at the wall, look at that, look at that look at that clear cold flowing that that look it looks right it looks like it should be in my mouth nothing about Coca-Cola looks like it should go in your mouth that it's brown it's fucking

brown you can eat brown things what you shouldn't really though well I was going to be potato is a brown not inside You shouldn't really though. Brown's gone a done. Potatoes are brown. Not inside. Is there a bread? If they've gone brown inside. Yeah, you're right, you're right. That's bad. What, you're going to stumble across whole meal bread

in the fucking forest. We're not going to stumble across Coca-Cola top. It's not match really occurring. I don't say it if it worth. So wait, wait, in this world, there's nothing you're carrying, but you're not allowing a clock, you'd have bread and action in a clock.

You're scumbing across the live tree, I see. Oh, you're climbing the branch of the club. What else am I gonna do with this eagle, if not make a single sandwich? This gul sandwich isn't gonna make it stuff. Yeah, I mean, but I'm just saying like it's not in the scheme of things. Brown isn't a great color to be sticking it outside color, isn't it? Yeah.

Brown is the outside color or it's or it suggests it's been it's been tampered with in some way. It's been toasted or roasted or something to brown. It's gone bad. If you potato is black on the inside, then it's not black. It's not black. Nobody said black. We're still saying brown. It's gone bad if you potato is black on the inside then it's gone brown. I'm so black, I'm so black. Nobody said black, we're still saying brown. You know what I mean though, but like if it's gone brown, if you potato is gone brown,

if your carrots are brown, unlucky mate. Yeah, yeah. It's the old saying it's carrots are brown. Turn them down. But actually like all, you know like the colour stuff is fucking it's fruit it's veg it's good apart from obviously water which is the same as the rules isn't it yeah yeah that sees how it makes it some kind of nuts. Like what all I'm saying is if we weren't exposed to water as much as we are we don't. If you put water in a film as a fucking magic

potion people would be like oh god, that's so fucking cool They had this thing that was like you have a cool Have you seen water world? It was there No one watched that went, oh my god, that's so fucking cool It looks it looks like you know, it's like god. Do you saw some shit? It's like it's like the miracle of life. Yeah. But because we see it so much, we instead we hanker

for this brown, fizzy madness, madness. What about coffee? Yeah, about coffee as well. Yeah, what about coffee? Coffee's more natural, you know, the ground beans of coffee. They're not, you know. No, but it's, again, it's not, it doesn't look like you should drink it.

This like dark brown black liquid that smells pretty, you know, odd and taste a bit. I think if everyone took a step back and was really honest with themselves about Coca-Cola and coffee, they'd be like, actually, no, we shouldn't, should we? So you're more into things that don't have no, odorous and have no, you can sort of see through them. That would be the, that's your dream, is it? So like, I'm mostly ice and water diet. Taste as, taste as, fuck, that's basic.

Taste, taste is like the snake in the garden of Eden. No, no, no, no. It's like, we've kind of, we've been, taste is like the snake in the garden of Eden. No, no. It's like, we've kind of, we've been, taste is like king in this mad society of ours. And everyone's like, but it tastes good. And it's like, hey, well, does it? It tastes of some shit that you've been told tastes good. But like, taste is, taste is ruling the roost, man.

And if like, Jesus turns up and it's like, we chuked the money lenders at the temple. Someone should give taste to hiding. Hold on though, because I think we'd like... Well, is sugar, is it about taste or is it about like how it makes you feel? Your body fucking loves sugar. That McDonald's breakfast. But here's the thing, the McDonald's breakfast, and I know it's got lots of sugar in it.

It's got lots of salt in it. But it didn't taste good. It made me feel like I've been beaten up. But I know two years down the line, because I've had this conversation before. Where I've said, I always forget how much I hate McDonald's until I go there. But something like a little bell in my head.

And for some people, they must get that bell, you know, five times a week. You know? A double cheeseburger. So it just kills me. It's so good. It does it. It never feels good.

10 minutes a week. Oh, 10 minutes afterwards. Afterwards, yeah. It's been terrible. It's been terrible. Yeah. So basically McDonald's is just like, tickling my toes for two years of going,

you're gonna, you know, it's the excitement that it's kind of creating rather than the actual experience. How does it do it? I mean, obviously, I don't think most people are going once every two years, lots of people are going all the time. What, what are you thinking? I mean, that's the product, could we like, you know, if we could do, if we could be the podcast equivalent,

are we the podcast equivalent? That way people would be like, I've got to listen to it. And then you listen to it and they're like, go, oh, it's just very good. And then you said, I'm going to listen to it again. Are you pitching that as a concept?

That we get millions of listeners, but only they only listen once every two years. All right. I mean, there's something in that, isn't there? I'm sure I've told you about this recently, but I always wanted to do a production of play. When I was a student, I always thought it'd be great to do productions of plays, but in real time.

So you do the winter's tail, and between Act 4 and Act 5 five there's a year and so you the audience goes away for a year And then they come back and watch that five. I was gonna say I'm glad you said they go away for a year I think just they've got a just really they're gonna really rinse those concession stalls This how many ice cubes you've got this is gonna last us 12 months This Coca-Cola you're selling Coca-Cola and're selling. It's the Sir, that's the only... Only selling Coca-Cola and Seagull sandwiches. Um... White gold doesn't... No one really eats gold, do they?

It's not typically in the sort of three bird roast, is it? Your goal. I'm guessing it's probably not got a lot of... Not got a lot of heft to it. Yeah, they're very light. I think, are they, like, is it mostly the sort of flightless or semi-flighted birds that get eaten? Yeah.

Is it the pigeons? That's the pigeons have a bit of it, don't they? Pigeons, yeah, you're right actually. Yeah, pigeons do, and they're famous flyers. We've got the feast on pigeons in our Hunger Games, aren't we? Oh yeah. They're being... I'm excited about this.

We could have pigeons, we could have pigeons, marinated in Coca-Cola. Naturally a Cora in Coca-Cola. In the puddle. In the puddle. Roll the pigeon around in the puddle. Stick it on the spit. You know? I I tell you what

about it there's gonna be no hunger in our hunger games. The game is where the only ones who killed ourselves game just over it over eating. The final is the forest of the holy gums where we only eat birds there's no hunger and there's plenty of game it's plenty of game. It's just called game. It's a three-facke guy's eating birds. At some point, someone's gonna come up and go, you know, he's supposed to be killing people, right? Have you offered yourself as tribute? Have you tried this fucking sparrow, mate?

Yeah. Yeah. How are you on your birds? Terrible actually. There's three birds in our garden at the moment. The landing, it's pretty incredible to see actually. Obviously it's a vertical wall. Oh that's not, you didn't go with a pyramid.

No big deal, no big deal guys, but I've gone for the vertical wall. He's going for the vertical wall house. Oh my god, Latins are. There's no horizontal walls yet. The horizontal walls are the floors. The vertical walls that we've gone for, the back of our house. Just at the back, yeah, yeah. The front is a half pipe, isn't it?

Welcome to heaven. No seven number seven. It's seven is a half pipe. They say Yeah, so these birds they land on the vertical wall a bit like that goat that does it up the dam You see that video of the goat that fucking shins up the dam. Yeah So if if David Attenborough passes Yeah, I've seen that, it's a leave. So if David Attenborough passes away, I think you should take over. I'm biting the bottle. I'm biting the fucking goat.

I'm biting the damn fucking fucking out the old fucking dead. Well, you drink in there by the way Tom. Go, go, go, go. No. Pemsy, I'm spotted by them. I'm spotted by them. Sorry, yeah, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I never got, I that brown, but it's not, is it? No, well you see, it makes me feel, part of my, you know, my evolution,

it feels like it's herbal teas, you know? And I'm sure obviously there's very little that feels that natural about them, but now like you stick a bag in it, you think there's a plant in that. I'm sticking it in this water and it's turning green. It's natural. Yeah. Green for go, yes please.

Yeah, I mean, green. Steak it in Green for go, yes please. Yeah, I mean, speaking in. Green foods generally feel like good foods, right? Yeah, although for a while, for most of lockdown, I was on about eight cups of peppermint and licorice tea and then I found that licorice isn't good for you in that amount. Can I ask this girl, what was that doing to you in science? If you're drinking eight peppermint licorice,

like aren't they both lactatives? Yeah. So what was the gel to do? There wasn't much else to do, that was the thing. No, it's true. Flush yourself out. Flush it out and lock down any who. Now just onto the peppermint.

What were you talking about before that before? Before you were making a point point and I forgot what it was Oh these birds are the birds you're How are you up on your feet? I want to get back to your original question as well cross-back. Oh, I don't know why we'll close on it This is fun anytime any time I start a certain off it just disappears It's not it's no bad thing because you know, these chats aren't supposed to be in any way linear. But, you know, it's a lot of stuff. I still got it.

I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it.

I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. I still got it. What do they look like? They're more bright, well here's the thing, say like, fucking no idea what these birds are. The walls too high. Yeah, well no, no, I can see it, they're right there,

but like, that's what I'm saying, is they're not on top of the wall, they land like literally on the wall, they like plug themselves onto the wall. Right, I'm starting. Chipping away at the bricks. Right, to like build a little nest in there, that seems mad, doesn't it? It's a

little nest between the bricks, but there are birds that can live in sort of cliff faces and stuff, aren't there? Yeah, so it's a bit like that, but just on brick, so they're just kind of took in away at the brick, and I watch them do it. I don't know if they know I'm the, you know, the owner. I can tell you now, I can tell you now they don't. What does they do, then? They've got a little, pretty fucking chopsy, what they do. They're pretty bold, aren't they? Have you tried one of those apps where you point it

at the bird and it recognizes the bird? Like you get for both wine. Like a shazam. Yeah, I think it is. I'm trying to think of, I don't know if it's the picture of the bird or the sound of it churoping. But I think what it will recognise what the bird is, so maybe that's your thing, you know, stand by your wall and wait for it to appear and then...

Listen, I've no expert, but carry on describing it Tom, cos maybe. Maybe Clarky's gonna get it. Clarky knows his animals. I think there's a bit of green going on on a bit of red. Is it a woodpecker? No, it's not having that much of a go at the wall. I think I know if it's a woodpecker. Brickpecker is a brickpecker.

They're not as popular as woodpecker. They're normally walking around clutching their beaks in Agony. Brickpecker's a great name, isn't it? Brickpecker's like a renegade cop. You expect to see what you could have dick made of bricks? All right, brickpecker's a great name, isn't it? Brickpecker. Brickpecker for like a renegade cop. You could have a dick made of bricks. All right, Brickpecker. Why do you call you Brickpecker?

He unzips his and brings that up. Yeah, maybe it's a better Brickpecker nickname. I'm Brickpecker. Brickpecker, brickpecker, brickpecker. Brickpecker, brickpecker. Brickpecker, brickpecker. Brickpecker, brickpecker. Well, look, I mean, like, so,

but all I'm saying is like, I have no idea what these birds are up to, because they can't surely, they're not thinking of getting in on it, or like, well, I don't know. Secondly, I just maybe realize like, I have absolutely no clue on birds, and there is a lot of birds going on in the UK.

Yeah. And weirdly, here's a kind of stupidly jingoistic thought the other day. I kind of was like, we've got really, we've got great birds actually. I think we might have the best birds. I was like, I think we have better birds than like Germany. Well like, what are sort of German birds?

Exactly. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm glad you agree, Crosby. I don't think I agree. How's it going guys? German birds. Exactly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are birds of paradise. Oh, you are about like you. A sparrow isn't a bird of paradise because there is a bird called a bird of paradise. Yeah, but that's a ridiculous name to give a bird, isn't it like, wife Devons, my paradise? Then the sparrow's a bird of paradise. No, but it depends on how you look.

See, you're not, you're paradise. It's the bird's paradise. We're not, you know, when no one's, you are of course a man of paradise anytime you're in Devon. What if I think the one of the Seven Wonders of the World is Wolverhampton Town Centre? Then that's one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Yeah, I'm saying that, so I'm saying it's this bird.

That's not a bird. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a green with it. This is a great rhetorical technique. Paris has this great, plimic technique. You say something, this proves his argument and he goes,

exactly. That's exactly what I'm saying. It proves my point. You're like, no, I thought, anyway, you're bamboozled, I said to you. Who's called this bird a paradise,

bird a paradise? It's clearly someone who's bigging up their own yard, isn't it? Like, if someone in Derby had chosen to call a sparrow out of the bird of paradise, then it'd be a different cat-lefish, wouldn't it? I mean, I can't say. It's like me calling my child legendary renegade? It's on the name.

Oh, the chief dude has named another one of his children and gets what? Legendary renegade. Legendary renegade. Legendary renegade. Can you just call me Lenny? No, you know, it's the legendary Renegade. I'm gonna go by Lenny if that's all right, just because I don't wanna keep getting beat enough at school.

All reds, come off. If you wanna get beat up, hang around with the brick pecker, I'll sort you out. Brick pecker's your cousin. Brick pecker, I'll sort you out, are you worried? You're right, I mean, it's a bit of a grandiose name, isn't it? If a bird of paradise is as good as it makes out, then it doesn't need the name. It's good if it makes out. They're not self-branded.

So, we'll put whoever branded them. It sounds like they were branded by a tourist board. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like visit whole. I think it's crowded by not whole, I think. By people traveling there though, like I don't think like in Brazil they called them birds of paradise. I think we called them birds of paradise

because we consider the rainforests like paradise and the highly like colored birds in the rainforests for like those are birds of paradise because they're like way more impressive than any birds we've got. So is it a genre of bird? Is like a parrot a bird of paradise? I think so.

Are you like no-bell gases? What do you mean? What? What? Well there are no-bell gases aren't there? So are you saying, is this like a name for a group of things? Like noble gases, yeah. Yeah.

You've got, you went very specific there. On quite a broad thing. I like, well, I like that. Is this like stationery? You could, like, there's loads of different types of stationery. But like, a penny stationery. But, so, stationery world, I'd say the pen that you can pull down all the different colours is like the burger paradise. On that we can all agree.

There it is! Oh, it's so beautiful! He's got one of those pens. I've got one for the viewer. So, yeah. With those pens though, you always get one color running out first. Thank you for saying good question to.

Good question, Cosby. I'm not technically a question, but if you want to give an answer, feel free. I was going to have to. Good question. Oh, sorry. No, I was warning you that I've come up with a good question. Your brain said to you, you've got a good question.

And so rather than you going, wait, I'll wait until the crossbeast finish speaking, you interrupt me with good question. Okay, click. You've got a real snow plow going on today, Perry. You're pushing aside, but yeah, it is a good question. You're brick-pitch-one-of-fuck-another. You're brick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick-pick- peck-one, a fuck out of a sort of a love-up. You're brick peck in this conversation.

It's not a bad phrase to use that, is it? Yeah. So and so turned up after the party, after three drinks, really started brick pecking. Yeah, my worry is I'm a brick pecker. Basically, I'm constantly hearing myself interrupts in people. I think I'm a brick pecker. Basically, I'm constantly hearing myself interrupt in people. I think I'm a brick becker. I can always hear that.

I mean, hearing yourself do it. I have a body experience. It is a bit of an out of body experience. When someone's talking to you and you suddenly go, oh, they hadn't quite finished what they were saying. But I'm, yeah. And also, what's worse is, oh, they hadn't quite finished what they're saying.

And now I'm talking and I actually haven't got that much to say. I'm going to reiterate what they were saying back to them. That's it. I'm just going to tell them basically what they just told me in different words. And also it's not better words. Yeah, I think that could be another one of our kind of copper bottom phrases that like becomes lexicon. Brick peckin' I read that we haven't done one for a while actually. Because listen to Diaz, everyone knows a brick pecker.

Oh yeah. I mean it's kind of like, don't brick peckin' me. You know if you use that in the right context, someone will want to reuse that. I'm really holding back now because I feel like now we've set up the idea of not brick peckering or brick pecking even. We don't want to talk over everybody. Our podcast is kind of built on brick pecking, isn't it? It is a brick pecking podcast, yeah.

It's a bit tight on. But in the good way, we add that into the mix. I feel like we've got enough titles. We've got enough titles already. My bees flat share house meeting brick pecking. Yeah. That's what it's called now on. That's what it's called from now on. But Tom, you are absolutely right with your brick pecking there. It's a good question. Listen to dear, you've got the red, you've got the black, you've got the green, you've got the blue. Which one's first for you guys?

I think my order would be black, blue, green, red. That's how long they, that's in order of running out first. I mean, that makes sense. I've done actually use those pens. Greens running out before red for you. Yes, because it's an old... You mad bro.

I am a bit mad actually. It's an old teacher hang up. That they were very anti-red pen when I first became a teacher. So when I was first training a teacher in college, they were like red is a negative color. It's big red crosses on kids' works. Suggest they've done something wrong.

They've done something. Whereas if you mark with a green pen, then it's a neutral in terms of, you know, not making... I'm just into brick pack. Yeah, brick pack, I don't, in fact, you can't ask permission to brick pack. Just brick pack away, man.

Good question. Did you point them towards Coca-Cola? Oh! Did you point them towards the best, the biggest selling company in the whole world? Yeah. Well, what have they done with that shitty orable brown liquid?

They've wrapped it in red, my friend. And what have we done? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Laptop, lalalalalala. Oh, go to McDonald's, did you? What colour was that sign that you headed towards like a moth to a flame? It was yellow With the golden arches No, the golden arches are in front of a red square. I don't think they are anymore. I think that's from our childhood

I think I think I yeah But also you know your first brick pack is... Don't cock block my brick pack. You really cock block my brick pack, my friend. Sorry, man. I think, no, I think you're absolutely right, though, that, you know, in terms of packaging, Father Christmas, you know, again, very associated with Coca-Cola, red is not an inherently negative colour, but in terms of red crosses,

although actually the red cross, you know, famously the red cross, saving lives, looking after people in the chin that you know, who've gone too hard at festivals, giving them a slice of orange. Is that what the red cross does? Well, the red cross is not so giant. It's unbelievable. Oh, wait, we put me in at the Meade Sun Parry. I don't think that was a Red Cross though. I thought was the St John's ambience? I thought the Red Cross was more serious than that. There'd be people from the Red Cross at the at like summer fights. I think

St John's ambience is a Red Cross. They're interchangeable. It's just whoever shows up first. If they hear this is a summer fight happening or a festival, they just immediately get in their van and just get in their sort of car ambulance, fire themselves over there. It's like charging the jets. It is very, it's a turf war. It's the crypt's versus blood, which is really bad names for two people that are supposed to be helping you. But yeah, but I think the red X on work suggests is more negative than a green X. So I

just don't use a red pen as often as that. So the red pen is like yes, I tend to Mark my own work Note very seriously oh I see You need yourself a red note. I thought you just with, just write good question over everything. I like this. I like that, I like that. Well that's going. So green for your foods, green for your foods, red for your pens, brown, flush it down.

Turn it down. Yeah. Is the liquid brown? Flush it down. It does, it does clean your toilets as well, doesn't it, um, I'll cocoa. I mean, there's literally nothing good about coca-cola, it's fucking insane. And Diet Coke, even fucking worse, like a worst taste,

just hard, it's not an absolutely rancid taste. Absolutely, it won't worse it. From an objective point of view, you cannot defend it, and yet hugely popular. Do you have a can drink that you do enjoy? Yes, I do. What would be your preff for a can drink? I bet you're going for those orange drinks

that have got a little bit of foil for freshness over the time. I was a sample greener. A sample greener is a... It's a rare treat. Is that what you're going for? On a hot sunny day. It's a Rio for me, I'm afraid. Oh!

A Rio Tropical. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's a reotropical and no mistake. The gentleman's lilt. You call it the sparrow of the, yeah. Because, you know, different ideas of tropical paradise. Some people say, yeah. The reotropical, it feels like when you mature, you leave lilt behind. I'll have a reotropical place. And like, I like the fact that there's a,

like the tropical afterwards, as if there's gonna be like other types of Rio drink but I've only ever known there to be Rio tropical is you can't it's like links you don't get like Rio like it flavors banana or you don't get like Rio Canada isn't there I thought there was different is there not like a kind of Rio mango flame what I could be like I don't actually have it that often. Or am I thinking of Rubicon? I'm not confusing it with Rubicon, which I know there's different flavors of yours. I feel Rubicon as well.

I feel Rubicon. I can picture. And is it also, is Rio in a blue... Rio tropical plays. Rio tropical, sorry. He's Rio tropical in a blue can. I think it's in like a multicolored can that's kind of taken like, at the moment it's kind of like a multicolored can that's kind of taken like

At the moment it's kind of like a whiteish can with lots of pictures of fruit on it right Oh, it changes all the time is it sort of constantly yeah, it's keep it fresh And because it's not a big player in the soft drink market It doesn't really have to explain itself like you're never gonna get reotropical coming out going brand new recipe like no one cares I don't know like in hindsight Maybe that would have been like a good calling card as a where in my single days like as a student or whatever that to be like What's my drink? It's a reotropical and vodka, or like reotropical and lime. You know, not reotropical and lime, I imagine.

There's a lot. So lazy night out on a reotropical and lime. I'd add six reotropicals and limes and just just a stone cold sofa with loads of acid reflux. He peoped first. just gonna blow cold so with loads of acid reflux. He peoped first. Harry was the first guy, wretching outside the club.

That just described, you just described. He's on double, Clarky. Cold rain or hot snow? My results are in, oh great, with the pen, because I can actually tell you, hard science results, like a graph. This is what you want. This is all you want in life is. So you've unscrewed the pen now.

You're looking at the colors here and seeing which one is, which one is. Blue is almost dead. Blue is almost gone. Okay, so you start with blue. Blue is the favourite. Great. Then it's black. Yeah. Then it's red. Yeah. Then it's green is almost gone. Okay, so you start with blue. Blue's the favourite. Great. Then it's black. Yeah.

Then it's red. Yeah. Then it's green is completely full. And that to me is the correct order. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's like I'm not a teenage girl writing about my crushes. I think it's I am. That is the, that is the, when I'm creating, I try to create. Do you die with the, with the, with the, the innocent open heart of a teenage girl writing about her crushes? Because all of my projects are my crushes.

Yeah, that's going to say you're also writing high school musicals, right? Yeah. Yeah. You're going to one-of-a-one day, Crosby. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed. You know, Hope Springs Eternal in the teenage hearts of Matthew Crosby. The question I was gonna ask you,

and it fits in with the thing you were just talking about there. Beautiful. Your drink, your drink of choice was. Real tropical. Of course, real tropical. Do you think you have a style? Because I was thinking about this today. I was thinking like there are certainly people I know who have a style and maybe that means they just always wear a suit, you know, that might be their style. But I was thinking,

do I have a style? Does anyone I know have a style? You know, I can't think of that many people, I'll go. That's, like, here's things, you could definitely picture items that people would wear, you know, obviously, parry in your case, yellow t-shirt. But do you think you've gotten, like, an overarching look? If you have to describe your look, either of you, do you think you've got one?

Yeah, well, I think you can certainly look at like, I mean, to come back to the periodic table and the no-bar gases, I think you can certainly put us into a subsection without it necessarily being a style. Like, you know, for example, like, smartness, for example. Yeah. Like, I would put you, for example, crossbeat in the smartness category above myself. Right. But I wear a lot of smart people, I know.

Yeah, I put below most people. And I would put... I would put... We still talking about clothes. I've probably put Clarky either adjacent to myself or slightly below me in the kind of smartness of Lada. It's smart, you're mad. That's like the below me. Tom, are you fucking insane?

Clarky's genuinely crushed. I think sorry Tom, that is that insane? I can't believe it's genuinely crushed. I'm not really in a rush. I think sorry Tom, that is that is that is bad shit. Who are the least smart person there is ever been. It's it's you man, but you are. There's a totally deliberate. Yeah, but you wear you wear a lot of sports wear. You wear almost exclusively wear shorts,

that are not smart. Yeah, often kind of cargo shorts, that kind of thing. I'm like a Chino's guy, which is like, Chino's, white pair of trainers, plaid shirt, maybe with an under shirt underneath, that's a clarky look, that's what I would imagine. I'd see clarky. Okay.

So is a look a style? No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not. But I'm just thinking, I can picture the kind of clothes people would wear, but I'm wondering if anyone can, anyone can see there's enough to have a style. And I don't, I mean, I'm not happy with my style. What's your style? All my style is slightly smarter than Perry,

but more scrappy than most of the people in the world. I don't know if that is enough to, enough of a peg to hang my jumper on. I mean, if anyone, yeah, I mean, I think if anyone starts to flag up, then I'm going for something, then I immediately get a bit. Oh, really? I'm not even, yeah. Not wanting to go into any gang with that guy. If I get a new jumper, if I get a new jumper and more than three people

make a fuss of that jumper in the first two weeks of me wearing it, I'll probably stop wearing that jumper. Really? Because I don't want to talk about my fucking jumper And it's like If it's if it's enough of a jumper for people to go oh Either oh that's a nice jumper or oh you've got a new jumper or hey jumper or something

I mentioned the jumper Sure there any other options you want to throw out there For the people that have a quite grasp it. Jumpers. That third one, I was stood the wrong side of the railings on London Bridge, but it's a different story. But if someone mentions my jumper, then it's like,

I'm not into this jumper. I want a jumper that blends into life. Do you know what I mean? It's just like, it feels like a part of me. Yeah. You know, it's not in front of me. Well, I mean, it is in front of you. Some of it is, some of it is behind you.

Oh, fucking hell, it is something. Oh, there's meeting this boys. Good question. Our good friend, my cousin, Garith, has just moved to Sweden. Oh, yeah. And did you know about like the Swedish Swedish have like rules to like, it's like a way of life that they kind of live by. I think it's the Danish.

Are you saying the Swedish have rules that they have to live by? That's called laws. Every country has that. Just because you have never stuck to any of them. Just because you're wanted by the fashion police and the actual police. I'm not touching it. Oh, that's cutting. It's cutting.

Is this because I said you weren't as smart as most people? No, that's fair actually. I also like the fact that you said, I don't like to wear anything that draws any attention to me. You're wearing a t-shirt with a dog, like a panting dog that says, loosen up on it. It's like that's got a statement t-shirt. That's got a statement t-shirt, jumper isn't it? I guess so, yeah.

Yeah, and also, you had that whole thing with the LOT shirts, which is very kind of like... But I think the difference with the LOT shirts is that you wear them enough and no one's talking about them. That's fair. 100%. Like if someone pictures me turning up at a place, they picture me turning up with the LOT shirt on.

Then I turn up with the LOT shirt on, Bosch, fine. Yep. If I turn up in fucking a green lycra or some shit, but like, that's true of anybody. True of anybody apart from Mr. Motivator. It was my favorite thing about the LIT shirts, is like, people just assume they know what I look like and then that's what I look like.

So it's like, it's not even a thing. Yeah, no, I get that. That's like, and actually, like, because I was left with so many LT shirts, most of the LT shirts I wear are just the LT shirts that say LT shirt. I've got like about 10 of them. And like, if I could just wear that T shirt

without, like, why not? And anyway. Very, great point. I mean, the cliches, it's not the same as the Einstein thing, but like the cliches, the Einstein thing, isn't it, where you... Yeah, Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs. Yeah, Brondlefly.

Yeah, that's it. Anyway, so apparently this Danish, there's like a Danish Swedish Scandinavian way of life. Oh yeah. And it's not like official laws, but it's like, it's called like the rules of Yante, and it's like, you live by these principles for society Okay, if you stick to those principles

Then everyone gets on and everything's fine and like so part of that is everyone tends to dress quite mutedly and doesn't really want to stand out Oh, so I looked at these rules. Yeah, yeah, fuck it out. It's like a fucking, the 10 rules of Yante, don't think, rule one, don't think you're anything special. I have some of that. That's off the bat. And this is for number two. This is for you as good as we are. Who wrote these rules? This isn't last one, it's three, is it? So everyone had been living by them.

Well it's a similar print to like, people have been living by them for centuries and then some dude kind of wrote them down and everyone was like yeah that's right, that's what they are. Right. Don't think you're as good as we are. Okay. Don't think you're smarter than we are. Yeah.

Don't convince yourself that you're better than we are. Okay. Don't think you know more than we are. Yeah. Don't convince yourself that you're better than we are. Okay. Don't think you know more than we do. Don't think you're more important than we are. Don't think you're good at anything. Don't laugh at us. Rule eight. Rule nine.

Don't think anyone cares about you. Jesus. Tough man. Rule ten. Don't think you can teach us anything. Oh, and rule 11, don't drink the fizzy brown stuff. So, what, like, say? But apparently, those principles in society means that everyone has a tendency

to respect and get along and there's balance. Is intense seren . So, say, for example, you're a concert pianist, right? to respect and get along and there's balance. That is intense serenoste. So, say for example, you're a concert pianist, right? Okay, you've got to the level of being a concert pianist. Yeah. Do you not have to feel it, you're at your concerts,

maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Like, would you not have a sort of a conflict there? I think what you'd be is you would be modest, you'd go, well I just try, I play the piano, I don't think I'm good at that, you know, same for me with accents, I don't think, I don't think I'm necessarily doing it well, but I'm doing it. I don't think you're good at anything. I mean, the don't laugh at us things brutal. Yeah, there's some in there that doesn't seem so bad.

There's some in there. I'm not full. I think this is probably because I'm not as smart as most people. I'm struggling to... I'm struggling to... I'm struggling to, I'm struggling. It's stuck in there. It's got me, man. Well, I, it's, it's, it's what I think, Crossbow.

I think because I know you. Yeah. And I've known you for a long time in your many, not in your many forms, but like, you know, like, I'm a shapeshifter. I should tell the listener, don't know that. I'm a shape shifter. I know the man behind the wardrobe, you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like, I think at heart you're not a smart man.

No, no, no, I don't think I am. So when you dress smart to me... It's a put on. It's not a put on, but it's like, you know, it's not your style, man. It's not my style, yeah. I do like to dress smart, I do get a kick out of it. Oh, you look good when you do. Thanks, man. But, yeah. But the thing I'm trying to, the thing I'm struggling with is, the don't laugh at us, right? Yeah. That's a rule, basically,

it's basically saying don't take the piss out of other people. That's, is that the rule? Am I getting that right? I think so. I think so, yeah. Don't take the piss out of everything. I think it's why the Swedish don't have a slightly different sense of humour to the British,

which is take the piss out of everything. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I might struggle with that because I do I do enjoy taking the piss out of people and things and I also do enjoy people taking the piss out of me I think it's part of you know it's sort of part of friendship isn't it that's yeah but that's a British I think that's an inherently the you know, which is why... It's why. And it's why this country's paradise, you know. We got the birds, we got the bants, we got the water.

No, I don't think that's a prey. The bird's bants and water, it doesn't seem like... It seems like a sort of a slogan from 18 to 30 holiday. I don't think it's what we should be. Are you gonna do you feel like you stick to any of those or are there any of those you like? Yeah, I stick to those because I don't think. Don't think you're anything special. You think you stick to moving on? I'm not, I'm not, listen, I'm just not writing, just saying that I'm not writing anything in red next to that one.

I've got my green all the way actually. Don't think you're anything special. I agree with that. I mean, well, I think I think... I think they're all good principles. Yeah, I think they're, I mean, in the most part, they're all good. Is there any you think, don't you, you don't, you wouldn't?

The good one is don't think you're as good as we are, right? Yeah. Don't think you're smart than we are, I agree with. Don't convince yourself that you're better than we are. That feels like the same as the other ones. Yeah. That feels like a wasted number four in it. How many are there, check.

That feels like a wasted, it's a bit like, you know, in the Ten Commandments, when it's like, what's one of them like, don't cover your neighbours' locks or some shit, and it's like, that's, it feels like a waste. Yeah, I mean, the Ten Commandments were all over the shop. That's a check for a different day, but I mean, about that came in, that's because they came in,

they wrote them, didn't he, when, forget the Ten Commandments, here's two of them. What? Always wear sandals. Rock-a-beard. I can't wait, I can't wait. No, it's gross, wait. It's the two, isn't it like... Love God above yourself.

Love God above all things. Love your neighbours, you love yourself. That's it. That incorporates, if you're loving your neighbours, you love yourself, you Love God above all things. Love your neighbor to love yourself. That's it. That's what I've got. That incorporates. If you're loving your neighbor as you love yourself, you're not murdering anybody. Oh, and number three, don't laugh at me. This is where it loses its way.

What this wreaks of is someone who was on a roll and then got a bit too giddy. So it's like, oh yeah, this is going well. People are loving this and then they kind of go, and don't think anyone cares about you. You're like a, whoa. Chill out mate. Fuckin' hell. What, man?

But I guess what they, I mean, I know also, it's pretty chopsy of someone handing down rules to an entire society to finish with, don't think you can teach us anything it's like oh really I guess don't think anyone cares about you leads to being self-sufficient and independent yeah I don't know I just I just don't know I don't know about these rules man I don't know about these rules at man. I don't know about these rules at all. If we have any Scandinavian listeners, though, I'd love to hear from them, because I think that would be genuinely interesting to hear how, you know, whether or not this is something that loads up people have adopted,

is it something they think about? Is it something that, is there like, is there like a rebellious faction? Because that's the thing I, my brain goes to. If I was a teenager knowing those were the rules, I'd want to be like, you know what, I'm better than you, I'm going to laugh at you, and I'm going to try and teach you something in the process. Like that would be my instinct to rebel against the sort of... I mean, I would have loved to have been a pupil in your classroom. My classroom, when I was a teacher.

Yeah. But you come in and you open with that. I'm going to laugh at you. I'm going to rebel. But I'm also going to teach you something. And it's like, that scruffy guy is fucking there. That vagrant who stumbled in out of a skip. He's got those little, you know, woth lines coming off him and flies buzzing around his head.

He won't let us finish our sentences, but he's, you know, he's a cool dude. Look at the way he sat on that chair. He's upside down for God's sake. Hello, hello. I can see his brick picker. What would you say to Bro? There you go. What a treat. What a treat.

Yes, absolutely. And if you are a listener from the north of Europe and you obey the rules of Jante or whatever they are Jante, then let us know how they work out for you and whether they are enforced by a actual legal force. Is there a sort of judge-dread type situation? To somebody see you snickering at someone else and you get, you know, spend a couple of nights in the In-Wall Chokey just to sort of chill you out a bit. So be you up, sensible you up a little bit.

Let us know. Before we go, I'd like to read a little email at someone's centers. This is from O who got in touch via PapiSplatcher at gmail.com, getting in touch, Pappi's flat share at gmail.com getting touch Front letters only and near death experience This is titled from O Dear Pappis and producer Emma. I discovered your podcast a long time ago

But somehow never got round to really listening to them until early this year Like that. I like the idea that you just been you know what that's great I like that. I like the idea that you've just been, you know what? That's great. It's collecting them up. People just think, I really want to get loads of them before I launch into this. Great.

Long time subscribe, I've first time listening. Love it. My grandmother passed away suddenly and I found myself in need of a nice distraction and some serious cheering up and remembered you guys. I went and picked a house meeting at random and all I can remember of it now is that by the time you were talking about the adventures I've rusty nut shackle. I was laughing so hard that I cried. I then made the mistake

of checking out Pappy's bangers and mash. As a lover of all Christmas episodes I picked out all the trimmings. I laughed so hard that I literally inhaled my sandwich. My life didn't flash before my eyes. Instead, I kept thinking I cannot die like this. My husband will be mortified to tell anyone that I died like this. While you guys were in the background banging on about dying in a skip. As soon as I'd recovered sufficiently, I've nearly died like this before, I know the drill, I keep inhaling stuff, I know it's not good. I've probably cancelled my HBO subscription to put that money towards your Patreon.

Yeah. My other podcast has ever given me, no other podcast has ever given me a near death experience and I don't know what more I could even ask for. Thanks for existing, I no longer eat whilst listening to you. Cheers everyone. Bye. Oh, up north. What a message. Oh, thank you. What a great, amazing message. What a great. So much as well for people to join the Patreon Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's flat share. We'd love to have you there. Yeah, please be careful. Oh, if you're eating exploits, if you're eating, if any, we should, we should really have put a warning at the start

of this episode. If you're eating a girl sandwich, put it down before you listen. Yeah, absolutely. And it is a pleasure to be in your ear canal and not your esophagus. Anyway. Oh, final, final request. We need beefs for our show on May 23rd. So beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com,

send us your beefs, don't worry, you don't have to be on screen or anything, they'll just get read out by one of the comics and hopefully solves. So Corsham to you. Cheers everyone. Bye! Okay, you in? Okay. Okay, everybody. The votes are in for the patron of neighborhood box. You're not going to go with that at all then. All called by election. Not going to go with the voice we started with. Okay. I was treating it as a bit of a throat cleaner.

Okay, a throat crack, I'm sure. Why did I need to clean your throat? That's the big question. Because it's in my contract. All right then. All right then. All right then. We're all right then. We go now for the Patreon neighborhood rock all voting election night result. voting election night result in the neighborhood in the neighborhood. What's there's been an election in the neighborhood? Neighborhood election.

Let's go to the roll call and see the Patreon neighborhood rock call results. 150. Oh, it's sexy Jeffrey You set yourself a real rod for your own backyard, Harry, because you know if you're gonna have to rhyme every every person's name with a number Right It's Tracy Jeffrey I feel like he's made a rod for our backs 150 It's JOK. Okay, here we go. 137. It's Jennifer Chapman. Yes! Well, a huge result there for Jennifer Chapman, who wasn't anticipating being in the election. So, there's a lot of votes.

Ah, 134, Sarah Louise Hanna for. Very disappointed with 154. Last time she went for this election, she got 156. So two of the supporters of clearly looked elsewhere. For this election. I'm just... Last time she went for this election... She...

Ok I carry it, let's get... Here we go. This is good stuff by the way. 110 and then... 50a... So... Yes... 110 and then 50a for...

Olivia! Well that's 160 for Olivia. I think by my book She went for this election in June and is delighted Another person who went to the election Let's do it Is she delighted because of the early result? We haven't got to June yet and I've tried to struggle. Just June, right with eight? I don't know. LAUGHTER

Uh, with a hundred and seventy-three points. It's mad to live in brownfields and to points. A huge result for madly in March and it wasn't happening in March. So he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, in with 73 and 20 more votes that have to carry, it's Harry! Harry runs his three-ton. He could have stopped it. Yes, he got quite a lot of votes. Harry very puppy with a run around.

70, carry the 20. That's 90 mile my book. That's not going to get him into the seat But he entered the election and he's delighted with the turnout Okay with 700 votes and three of them Friars The very about a voter very popular with the monks From the Abby together famously well there are 700 monks in that Abby so not that popular actually

Not that he's regretting his policy that he ran on Fuck the monks He should never it was a brave slogan. It was a bowl slogan. He was in advice a hell of a song as well Straight out the underground. Ah, so it is of course, Matthew Tias. Well, of course. Matthew Tias. With all the votes, you can count on one hand,

it's Kate Holland. Only five votes for Kate Holland. She will be fucking gutted with that because she's the previous minister of this burrow It's the bizarre thing is you're actually quite politically engaged Two votes and they are both the hosts of the podcast all killer no filler voted for Sarah Miller. Just the two votes there, Kerry Bridge on McLean and Rachel Fairburn, nailing their colours to the mast, voting for Sarah Miller there whose only policy was to talk more about serial killers so you can see why she's now the vote.

With a 475 votes, I'm afraid he's not, got it in the can, it's James Masterman. Oh Masterman, 40 was over the line with that many votes but it's not. He thought he had it in the can. No, who has had the most because we've all been struck. He's really getting his slogan, I've got this in the can. And he obviously traveled around the consistency in a can. My compote people thought was just silly really.

Yes, he comboed himself around the competency, um, glad handing his way through the village. Like, so he can't he can't be so through a constituency in Glad handing his way through the village. Like combo. So he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't , he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, It's Tony Patry and Becky Ham. It's a big vote for Tony Patry and Becky Ham. He can famously much bigger than James Mastermans, which may have swung it for all the can fans. And obviously, this is a big can area with the can factory

and also the big sign that says... We love can. They're all huge fans of Crout Rock as well in this area. So the cam tribute band that he formed really pushed him over the edge. Only one vote, but it was one for the road. Literally, for Jenny Road. Only two votes, but it was two's. Tom Hughes. Oh, Hughes will be scattered with that. Only three votes. What an absolute fool.

It's Matthew Paul. So Matthew Paul has demanded a recount though, and news just in that he has got 35 million votes. So not so much the fall anymore, actually. I would really, I would doubt anybody who grits three votes in the first count, to Mars or Reekout, it gets 35 million in a second. The election is on really shaky ground. Or Matthew Paul has pulled some strings big time. What happened is it turns out Ben's piece of paper was folded in a very awkward place and he just hadn't revealed the rest of the numbers. So...

He was folded inside his trousers, wasn't it? It was, yes, a bit more awkward place for him. Well, there we go, one exciting night. It was followed inside his trousers, wasn't it? It was, yes, it was. It could be a moral complaint for it. Well, there we go, one exciting night, lots to report, but that's for another time. The election is over, and it has been a landslide that has tragically destroyed the village. No more glad-hounding.

The village has been destroyed. The campfire has been from now on in. It's all sad-handing. It's sad-handing at the can factory. If you can lend a sad hand, please put down here and help us with the rubble that's buried the can factory. And those that can't can, can. Today's next match, Petro Rokall, and here to can, can, can, us out, and the village dancers! Yeah! Yeah, this is the fun. Too much vibration, send your feet!

Yeah! you