Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Daft Punk, Daft Punk, Anyway) S11E10

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. It's occurred to them, as they to it, that finding aubergines is basically the same as daft punkDon't forget: on March 25th at 8pm GMT we are holding an online Flatshare Slamdown with guests Suzi Ruffell (Live at the Apollo) and Rachel Parris (The Mash Report). Tickets are £5 (free for NHS) - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-w-suzi-ruffell-and-rachel-parris-tickets-141659446217Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear! Well, well, well, if it isn't your old ear, can our buddies tom? Ben! And, Matthew, welcome to another house meeting. And what a fun one this is today. You know, another one of our evening records, relaxed, fun enjoyable, a bounce in our step, a zhuadaviv that's so lacking from our morning records. LAUGHTER We'll leave you to work out which one's the morning records, but we pretty much always say it's an evening record. LAUGHTER

And we've done about two this year. LAUGHTER No, that is, that's of course, a pure nonsense, just a little bit of ear canal tickling, a bottom of me. Well, you of course always do a fantastic job here on our podcast, so don't, I mean, come on, if you've got, if you're listening to the, what are we now? We're into that, we've done over a hundred episodes of our podcast now,

so if you're listening to it now, you're probably on board with this. Sure. Right. Unless this is your first time. Oh, in that case, please welcome yourselves to the podcast. Okay. Do you want to give people a little moment to welcome themselves? Do they need it? If you want to take a moment, guys, if it's your first, I'll tell you what, it doesn't matter. You know, like, if you ever done park run. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes.

You know, sometimes a park run, they'll go, okay, who's their first park run? Do a little round of applause to everyone who's doing their first park run. Who's doing a milestone at 25, at 50, at 100, at 200. That's what we'll give people a little moment now. Whatever your milestone is for listening to Patti's podcast, if it's your first, could be your last. Whatever it's gonna be, so give yourself a moment now, guys.

So it's like a threat. So it's like a threat. All right, it would be creepy if you were listening to this in headphones and then you suddenly turn around and the three of us were there with a shiv. I mean, actually, creepy to me when the could come. There's a couple of guys. If we used to be there with a shiv. I mean actually creepies me when you can come close. If we sit there with a shiv, it's out of that violence. Oh, it's a bit of a nerve in these trees.

Three strangers to me. Shiv was down my spine. I did it when they stabbed me in my spine. A shiv, a shiv down the spine. Anyway, greetings, Lister dear. Welcome back to Pappy's flat slam or welcome again. And it is how well-eating, but if you want, but before we go, or start, if you will, no, before we get into the business of the Hays meeting, we have a little bit of admin to play through Crossbow. Yes, of course. Well, we've got another, a Papi's flat share slam down over Zoom happening.

You know what, we're getting tantalising the close to being able to do this in real life. Yes. But presumably in the summer time, we might even be able to start talking about our first live dates. That'll be fun, won't it? Yes, but in the meantime, catch us when we're live online. And I'll tell you something, I mean, it will be lovely and weird going back to live gigs, because haven't these live... Lovely and to it.

It will be lovely and weird, yeah. Because I'll tell you what, I've really got into the swing of these online evenings. They're always like a proper highlight of the month for me. Yeah, they're really, really fun. And this one should be a real cork and we've got two superb guests in Susie Ruffle and Rachel Paris. It's on March the 25th and you can get tickets

from eventbrite.co.uk or from the show notes to this show or go to our Twitter at Pappy's Tweet or even our Instagram, I think has a link to the tickets. You'll be able to find these tickets. Yeah and you can basically the idea is you buy a link, you can then stream it through YouTube, you can watch it on your tele if you know how to make YouTube come on your tele which is something to you. And then, can't I sound old and I shouldn't. If you know, if you've got Chrome Gussed but anyway, it's really fun and tickets are a 5.0

and if you work for the NHS, they are absolutely free and if you remember our Patreon, they are a pound off for every ticket you buy and I can't recommend the Patreon highly enough. Oh, go over to the Patreon, it's a little community of listeners, we stick out a whole new world of extra podcast episodes with brand new features and yeah it's like a different flavor altogether to this to this podcast so come and discover that. I mean come on let's I mean a different flavor altogether it's still us witcher. Oh yeah. It's very similar flavor. We also worked on with the

deer which has been a fun. That's true actually yeah it's it's it's it's an interactive flavor yeah you're absolutely right sorry. That's true, actually, yeah. It's an interactive flavor, yeah. You're absolutely right, sorry. I'm good. It's a completely different flavor because other people get a word in anyways. It's a different flavor of the same food, right? I think a crisp.

It's still a bag of crisps, but it's a completely different flavor, you know? Like that, yeah, yeah. You're not opening a sort of dinner and going, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? You're like, you're putting it in your mouth and going, well, that crisp takes different to the other one. Sorry.

You can't really make sense, because you've got a nice full of crisp. You've got to go, that tap tap tap, and the different one. Like, it tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, and you know what? That's pretty good. That different one. And obviously, you know what? I'm just gonna put that tape tape. That different one?

And obviously you've got Chris Math. I think is the advert we wanted to do for the Patreon. Patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's flat share. Not in flat-geth, fucking hell. I finished your question before you come on line guys, please. Yes. Pappy's flat share, and yeah, it really is a different flavour of the same Chris.

Yeah. Um, right, let's crack into this episode, shall we? It's a cork. Yes, enjoy it, see you on the other side. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat.

Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always weeping? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting.

What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Something occurred to me. Oh yeah. It always has to be that way round, doesn't it? You can't occur to something, or can you? How do you mean? Well, like something occurs to you,

but could you ever occur yourself onto something else? Like, could you reverse the direction? Um... Like, if you happen onto a thing, would you have occurred onto it? No, that's alright, is it? That's no, no, I mean, if you happen onto something that's still kind of, I know it says happened onto something but it's still happening to you, isn't it?

Because you're all the one real. Like if you happen upon a house, the house doesn't go, or I've just been happened upon. Yeah, okay. What if it's like an online house day, if it's got all like, if it's all Alexa'd up or something? Even then, even with the sophisticated nature of AI, I still feel like, I mean, if you happen upon another person, you both happen on each other.

That's right. And then it's happening. Far out brother. Brother. Do you have a, um, do you have a pilot? Oh, no, in fact, let's crack on with what I cut you. No, no, no, no, I'd love to know what, because I'm always a big fan of the any question that begins, do you have a policy? I always try to know. If I hit the phrase, do you have a policy?

I know fun times are ahead, so let's go for it. What's the approach in your house to smart speakers, et cetera? Because someone gifted us one recently, because they said this is really helpful when you've got a baby. It gives you free hands. But my wife doesn't trust it. Because it's recording everything you say. Is that true?

For good reason. I mean, it's one of those classic cases where it's for a very good reason that she doesn't trust it. But for convenience, I'm like, come on. Yeah, there was that thing, wasn't there about, like smart tellies. People didn't realize that smart tellies were basically just like filming constantly,

constantly filming the people's front rooms. And it said it, like it was, like these, you know, the Alexa's not pretending it isn't recording you. But it is, you just sort of, it's just that the attitude everybody has nowadays has just not caring about that sort of, it's just that the attitude everybody has nowadays has just not caring about that sort of stuff.

Yeah. I mean, you know, I haven't turned my GPS off on my phone or whatever I haven't, you know, lots of things I have are recording what I'm up to. So, you know, but I mean, I don't have an Alexa just because I don't have an Alexa. So you've turned it down, you've said no to it. Well, no, it's just like you see in its box.

Oh. It's just there. I'm itching to plug it in. Yeah. There you go in, but not at the moment. I don't, the thing is with that is I don't know what to be afraid of. And if something, if something was recording me all the time, I'd be like, well, like, I don't know why I should be afraid of that.

I mean, we're like, I'm a podcast, don't you? We're good to have a backup of anything. The audio goes down, it's quite useful. But it's more the principle, isn't it? It's like, I see that. Yeah, I think people go, well, it doesn't matter, I've got nothing to hide.

You go, yeah, what that's not the issue My I'm the you know that is the issue for me. I'm like look. I've got loads of things I want to hide You've hit the nail right on the head actually there. It's like I don't I I say hear me saying my big plans Big plans, but you know what I'm. I've got to ask, what's your policy on big plans? We're just stand on big plans. So you want to get it out, but it's something that your wife is just like it, she's just two in the town. A dance is all this time.

It's a bloody wedding night all over again. Oh, I got you in not even in the dressing room. I'm in the first place, isn't it? He's out. I'm gonna have a wife to your nervous. I don't know. Carey Fathers and his is it. She can't trust what it's up to.

You don't want Jeff Bezos using it against you. I mean, yeah, that's it. I feel like it's, I mean, we, that's it. I feel like it's, I mean, we're silliest humans aren't we? Because the novelty of doing it is what? Like no matter how bad it is, some people go, look it's bad, they're recording you, they're using this,

they're using that, they're exploiting you. We also go, yeah, but it feels like I'm living in the future. Yeah, so it's like I'm living in the future I'm saying Alexa play Neil Young and Neil Young suddenly starts but I mean Neil Young's in the right The most futuristic we're living in this the Well, it's not love man take a look at my life I can't use the internet. I love it.

You know that old sound, you mean, we were looking at it. But it's not the music you're playing. It doesn't have to play futuristic music through an Alexa. You can play any music at all. It's not like, that's not the reason Draft Punk broke up, it's because they're in that code, because everyone can't make and then play music through an Alexa. Oh my god. Oh my god, did you see the reason Darth Punk broke up, it's because they're in that code, because everyone kept making them play music in a lecture.

Oh my God. Oh my God, did you see the Darth Punk video that they put out to announce that they're splitting up? Where one of them explodes? I mean, it is, I mean, I don't want to overread into things, but basically what they're telling you is it's not a mutual breakup. Like, like, break up on the clocky. So this is what happens. They said, I read like, watch this beautiful video, it's like really moving to have punk, you know, breaking up going there separate ways. I thought, okay, and I knew it was in the desert. So basically, it opens in the desert.

You know, you know a policy on desert. I don't want to watch that in the desert. You say you know my policy on robots in the desert. If they're in the desert, they can't record your conversation. That's where they all belong. So basically, Daff Punk are in the desert and they're like, shuffle along two robots, like a couple of Alexa's just going on into the Sahara off they go. And one stops right and the other one carries on

And then and then after about 20 steps it turns around and it's like oh that one's stopped It's kind of broken down or something so it comes back to it Then it clicks on its back and presses a button and it starts a countdown of 20 seconds and it just starts walking this robot for 20 seconds and then after 20 seconds it explodes. Oh my god, it's like the end of Kill Bill and it's dead. And then he keeps in five digits. Was it really? There's a really boring scene just before it. One of Duff punks makes a sandwich for 25 minutes. I tell you what, Duff punks feet.

Oh, very sexy. Very sexy film. Anyway, they say, oh, I'm sorry I must get in the desert. In the metal. Oh, what's the, what are they dancing around a sweet, no one of their darts in around. He tried to cool his feet, he blew up anyway. What do you think those punks feet actually are? Would it be two irons?

Any old irons? Any old two irons. That was very funny. If you saw a tap, they'd have their feet. It's a... One's got two irons, and one's got two George Foreman grills. Yeah, I think that they're fated. It's a... It's... One's got two ions, and one's got two George Foreman grills. Oh, God.

What a great gig. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie Brilliant. Charlie Foreman grills for hands. Yeah, that's two. A couple of Breville sandwich makers for hands. At least a meager! That's me and Griggy. That's me and Griggy.

That me and Griggy didn't go well, did it? Please to meet you. That's what Clark would say anyway. Please to meet you, tapunk. No, the thing about tapunk, what are they going to do? Are they going to e ebay themselves for scrap? Is that the best? I think so.

They're like, what message is that video sending out? Like, I think what, like, someone's going, well, ee, ee doesn't want to do it anymore. Well, that's what I was about to be saying, isn't it? It's basically like, it's like almost being like, you know, if we get captured, we like bike down on the side and I'd pill and we both go. Like, yeah, it's touching the void, like, you know,

we're both, yeah. We both, if one of us can't do it anymore, you know. Right, she's, I know, it's almost like, if one of us can't do it anymore, we leave that one behind. There's not gonna be like, not one of Daph punk isn't gonna carry on. But surely in the video, if it's like, that's what I'm taking from that description.

It's like yeah, you press me again for me once Fucking it must have been such a last Being a Must have been such a luck being in daft punk, wasn't it? In helmet Dosing around in helmets all the time. I mean it would have been warm But it would have been fun. Oh my god like it wouldn't wouldn't have worked in sketch I don't think wouldn't quite have worked if we'd have been like the helmeted kind of sketch group. We would have known this helmet's for a different reason.

But you know, maybe you could because they've been bands in masks before. I'm thinking of the, the residents who have the eyeball masks. And then more recently, I was split not as well, yeah. And Marshmallow as well, he's a guy who always gigs, he was DJs in his masks, doesn't he, Marshmallow. And, but the good thing about that would be that you could switch around, couldn't you? You could, if we're running on empty here, which let's face it, come 2013, we probably were.

But, you know, we didn't fail to go back to Edinburgh again. We just sent, you know, three younger models with the same masks on. We've got a lot of voices. Who wants to lose money? Great! Alright, Edinburgh is a bad example Yeah, or like when my dad used to do a paper-owned for me It's like if you've got something on if you're I've got to go to I've booked a theater ticket that night

I don't miss the gig is See you're dead in a paper hand for you 10 year old were you You're dead in a paper hunt for you. How sophisticated are you, 10-year-old, were you? Oh, I got it. Father, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, must, you must, you must, you must, you must, must, you must, must, you must, must, you on. No, I was jumping between points there my my dad used to do a paper for me Listen always like if he jumps with the points. He doesn't make it. We leave him behind all right

The button on his back. Yeah next next time I mean next time he's just hanging on by that by a single finger just kick his finger off We're faster without him. Sorry gone gone We're faster without him. Sorry, go on, go on. Duff punk. Duff punk. Yeah, anyway, so basically. I think that's the name of the punk.

That's the name of this episode. Duff punk, Duff punk, anyway. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The biggest thrill for me in Duff punk is you're on stage, you're a glass of debris, you're wowing the crowd. You know you got to do your paper all the next morning. Don't you want to do that?ing the crowd. You know that's your paper. I'll next morning. Don't forget to have fun.

You can enjoy yourself. That was the first. You've done the Sunday morning news paper. Do you reckon anyone's ever done that? Do you reckon that anyone's ever got a paper round that just done it for life? Oh, absolutely. When I had a paper round, there were a few lifeers there.

Definitely. Some of our boys. Some of our boys. The people there who were not, you know, kids. I literally had a dream last night about doing a paper end. I dreamt it was my new job. Yeah, there you go. It was literally it was my new job.

Did you do paper ends, right? Yeah, I loved it. I loved the paper end. Did you? Yeah, I had the Chronicle, which was... No, I wanted the Chronicle. It went to every house. Crits do. I hadriot to do. Oh yeah it was one of those. Yeah I did probably new shopper for one day and it's like fuck man. The free newspaper is like it's like division two isn't it? Yeah you're like you know

you couldn't take them all out in one go you yet to go back for a second bag. And always, it's always harder than everyone else. Always the legend of the man who couldn't be bothered to deliver them all, so slung them over the fence. Yeah, of course. Abandoned walls. Always two doors down from me. Got a lot of papers delivered. There you go.

I, um, yeah, I always had a sympathy for the free newspaper, boy. It's kind of like, you kind of think, you kind of nod to them in the street, but you'd see yourself as being better than them. And typically, on afternoon job as well, you didn't get the fresh early morning. The joy I thought of the paper round was, you were out there on your own at a time when most other people

weren't awake, you know I was getting up very early to get those papers out You want to- basically you want to get the paper into the house before they wake up and come down the stairs and collect their paper And you just got to, you know, you got to see the world With no one in it. It was really, you know, if it was if it was a bright summer morning It was a thrill. It was a really thrilled, you know, if it was, if it was a bright summer morning, it was, it was a thrill. It was a really thrilled, you know, it was cycling around on my bike. It was great fun. Did I tell you about the time I found, I found an overgene. On the street. Yeah, street overgene. In the wild, in the wild overgene.

On its own. Yeah, no owner. No, no owner. And I thought, oh, hello. I dropped off a robot. LAUGHTER I was trying to send an emoji. Like that. LAUGHTER It flew all the way over to, probably, south.

Oh, my dick's gone off. Can we disband? LAUGHTER Hang on. So, tough point Punk have got ions for feet. Sam Wies make his hands and an overgene for a penis. Well, a metal overgene though, this one, it's a, but this was, no, this was just normal, this was a normal overgene, I found it in the street.

And no idea how this overgene have made it into the street, I've delighted to find it, picked it up and I was just a minute back. I got a good made it into the street. I was delighted to find it. Picked it up and I was just a minute back. I got a residential area or near shops. Near, it was, yeah, it was, it was suburban Bromley as where my round was. And it was the street before I got to, I had my bag with me full of papers. The street before I got to my road,

which I basically, I did have one very long road, but there was a lot of papers on it and all different. But I picked up the, I picked up the original, I was about to put it in my sack, you know, like, you're like, I'm on night there. You never know. Yeah, you might. It's actually just like that, it's exactly that, yeah.

You've got the little flap on it, yeah. You don't know if maybe one of the doors is you're about to deliver the paper, ask for a riddle. And the riddle is delivered over Jean Prumey and I won't kill you and eat you with the letterbox. But anyway, what a crap riddle. How can I solve this?

Hmm, I can't solve this. To live for me in over Jean, come on, come on. Use your brain, think. Think outside can live for me in Obexine. Come on, come on, use your brain. Think, think, think outside the box for the level of. So I, I had this Obexine, I thought, yeah, this is gonna be good stuff. And as I was putting it into my, as I was putting it into my bag,

the 261 Double Decker Bus went past, and I thought, hello, it's snowball season outside of snowy weather and I just FWACKED it at the side of the 261. Very, very satisfying. Rocky Roll Man. At Empty Bus, it was an almost victimless crime. Wacked it on the side of the 261. What's the back end of this story? It was almost a victimless crime. Back to against the bus.

Noctubus driver ate with a killer 70. And it was almost a victimless crime. The bus was empty, but the lorry it went into was not. LAUGHTER The lorry delivering orphans to the near my orphanage. The orphanage, the orphanage turned out actually, it wasn't an open machine, it was an orphan I picked up. Oh, I didn't register.

It was in a little orphan way. It was a purple dungarees. A really purple orphan. A riddle, the racing, the riddle was tricky. Well, no, the riddle was tricky. Well, no, Riddle was tricky. I think throwing a soft vegetable at a bus is not an entirely victimless crime. It could have disorientated the driver it didn't, but the driver probably wasn't entirely happy

to hear a big slam to the side of the bus, but it was, you know, as far as I'm concerned, it was a white lie. Am I? I can't get you. It's a purple lie lie It's a purple lie My favorite album I always get a bit nerfed by your your tales of teenage rebellion

I think I'd have been a bit intimidated by you in the in the early years. No, you wouldn't you would be in the shit out of me No way I'd have been I was scared of people like you Paris Paris was as good as gold. Where are you? Yeah, he was a pure as the driven snow. That sort of stuff would really freak me out. You'd go and tell on himself if he did something naughty with me or something?

Yeah, absolutely. Like if I was your mate and I'd been with you and you had done that, when I got home, I'd have had to say to my mom and dad, oh listen, cross me through an eye-bush, and I didn't stop you. Yeah. And then your parents would call my parents

and I'd get in trouble. Yeah. Well, then make me call you, it'd be worse and I'd be like, cross me, I want you to know that I've told my mom about you through an eye-bush, and she thinks she should tell your mom. And I would say, look outside and you'd see me.

I don't have a whole fucking missarca. I just have a tray of mousarca going. I thought this dough would come and I put it down on your face like I was euthanizing you. I just slam it down on your face. It's like water, man. You're asking me beautiful. Water, board me with a mousarca.

You're talking about you, yeah. I'm sorry. Is that going to be, is that going to be, is that going to be a, is that going to be You're waterborne me with a moosaica. A moosaica board, yeah. A moosaica board. Is that gonna be... The rock's not gonna be a go. Is that gonna be our puppy's breakup video? We're gonna be in the desert walking along together towards the sunset.

Suddenly, cross me with you to a moosaica and take out me and Clark. If this goes to walk off. I explode. I help him. Oh no! I'm just going to walk off. I explode. I explode, but I help him. Yeah. Oh no, sorry. I was at a vegetable lasagna. I never saw it coming.

I can think of worse ways to go. I can tell you that. I mean, great, wouldn't it? Be great. I mean, who doesn't love a mousaka? Absolutely delicious. Garfield? You try and give Garfield a moussaka, it'd be absolutely fumous.

Give him moussaka on a Monday. It'd be the worst ever. It's life. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be OD when that happens because he's going to get booted right up the took us. Let me tell you now, he's going flying. He's going flying into next Monday. Oh my God.

I told you what? Garfield was a huge presence, wasn't he? And I didn't really know Garfield, but he was always around and I never really understood Garfield, but there he was. He's knowing. He's not a me.

Like, he wasn't like... I was kind of under the impression it was quite like an adult thing, not adult in that like rude, but just like, oh, I don't really get this. Well, it was in the paper, wasn't it? And cartoons in the paper were like, you know, when you're talking about Fred Bassett and Marma Duke and that sort of stuff, the gambles,

they weren't funny for kids. I'd really be a cartoon. Absolute dream, the dreamles, they weren't funny for kids. I'd really be a cartoon. Absolutely, the dream job. Landing a job as a newspaper cartoonist for those shit cartoons that about seven people get. And they do it for life. Like once shit is breed. Snow and spree is the one.

I've never understood a doon's breed. I could do it in the toilet with a gun to my head. Who's enjoying doon's breed? Who's enjoying that? And yet it's been going us with a gun to my head. Who's enjoying doomsday? Who's enjoying that? And yet it's been going for fucking aions. No, no one. It doesn't even raise a chuckle. No, even gets it.

Do you think this is like a propo of nothing, this thing? Is there an emperor? There's so close, I was expecting to it though, because no one's willing to admit. We're gonna do it. We're gonna be the first podcast to put our hands up and go, don't understand it, don't find it funny. Sorry Gary Trudeau. It's tricky though because we've already established ourselves.

And then we've got... As absolute thickos. So it's quite hard. It's a good point. It needs to be someone intelligent that people respect doing that. Is his name Gary Trudeau or is his name Gary? And you're saying Trudeau. Trudeau, bro.

Oh, I don't know if it's... Sorry Gary, true dough, we just don't get it. What a racket, because, right, right, you're turning out one of those a day, right? It's gonna take you what? An hour? Imagine, imagine that lifestyle. You could do your whole, you could do all Monday.

Toss off, knock out five of them and then off you go. Take the rest of the week off. Fish brush for the rest of the week and the weekend. Fuck me. What a life. It's like they live that some people have a dream right, but I think newspaper cartoonists. Like, you're not having it. Absolutely, I have it.

And I reckon like new editors must come in and be like, oh, I've got too. And I reckon like new editors must come in and be like, oh, I've got too much shit to deal with. I'm going to, they must, like if I got given the job of a newspaper editor, right? Which actually is a job I'd quite, I'm going to put it out there now. If anyone's listening, I'd fancy that job.

Well, I've just finished listening to a podcaster at Robert Maxwell, and I think you fit right in. Yeah, handsome, absolutely, happy days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in there. You know, what a kicking job it is, like you're in there, you're hustling, you're putting stuff out there, you're making moves, you're pulling strings. You're nicking pensions.

When you get it, you know, sure, that's the bad side of the back. I mean, sure, mate. Sure I am, but, that's the bad side of the backstab. I mean, sure, mate. Sure I am, but that's not the main part of the job. Yeah, but so, like... You must get in, you must think, right, I'm a newspaper editor. I'm gonna get into those fucking cartoons and get rid of them because they're no good,

but then like on day one, boom, this has happened, fucking, you know, someone's throwing it, no, Regina, a bus. Oh, yeah, yeah. You get, the big stories are coming in. Sure. And you must just never get a chance to get to the cartoonist. They must sit in this little dusty room or like they work at home. And like they just think no one's rumble does yet. It's mental. They live in fear though.

Is it like the ultimate imposter syndrome that they're constantly like any second now, someone's going to go, oh mate, come on. Your life's so good enough. He's a pile of shit. I mean that's something. Well, certainly keeps me awake at night. Alexa, don't play the back catalog of Papi's flat, flat, flat, and flat, from here. Yeah. Um, I, I, I, the other, the other, the other paper that is even worse than the cartoonist is the guy who is doing the, um, the serialized comic strip in the newspaper. That's not even got a joke at the end.

Like it's like, you know, like a bit about a football team. And it's done on a computer, you know, it's like computer generated about the the the Cummings and Goings of a local football team. Yeah, they're always on the verge of shagging their teammates partner. Exactly. And then it finishes. You're writing a bad soap opera on your own. Yeah. Don't they have like live action ones a day? There's photos, but you know, that's Deirdre's Photo Casebook, which is a whole other thing. That's three panels to, and actually that's sent me a link. Deirdre's Photo Casebook is three pictures and it will be normally

people in their underwear, but it will be about people having an affair. So it will be a woman sat on the bed in her underwear looking pensive and going, why is Mike so distant ever since he started his new job? And it will be Michael B is... Exactly, the affair. Mike in his pants looking at his phone and of course he started texting the new girl at work. And at the moment it's all above board, it's just a little bit of chat, you know, what you, what, what, what you think of the job, you know, all this kind of stuff, you know, well, can you show me the ropes, but it's going to, but it's going to lead to, I'd tell you what actually cross me, that was really good that. If I, I,

well, I mean, I'm, I'm no paper editor, but if I was, I could have put to no one. I tell you who wouldn't, I tell you who wouldn't fare well in Deirdre's photo case book, Daff Punk. You just wouldn't know what's going on with him. Daff Punk sat on the end of the bed. Oh, are they in a good time?

Well, I don't know. Daff Punk's just got out of the shower. That's another reason why they have gonna break up. Oh, I tell you what, John just got out of the shower. That's another reason why they have gonna break up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hold hands, hop in the bath together, give the double defos. Yeah, like, eh, eh, eh. And then right at the end, they're little, they're little home machines pop up over at the all the time. Pretty little bit of French humour. A little bit of Gallic, a little bit of Gallic smile there.

Why a little bit of a Gallic, a little French flair. A little Gallic source. A little bit of French flair. Yeah, daff punk in Gigi's case book. You're not gonna know what's going on with them because they can't express it, it's a slight, like, could be having a whale of a time. Like a picture of daff punk at a birthday party

and a picture of daff punk breaking up because they've had an affair. It's the same for Diggies' case book, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, what did they have, did they shrug a lot? Was that sort of their vibe? I mean, I don't, I mean, I don't, I mean, I've got, I mean, I don't.

I mean, I've got to be honest with you, I do not know who or what Daphne Punk is. LAUGHTER He's been so confused, his whole podcast. You've held your own very well-clarky. Thanks, man, thanks. Really impressive. You've actually said more than when you know what we're talking about.

How sweet it. We did. I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. How sweet it. How sweet it. What are you doing in the paper, Clarky? Uh, well. What are you doing in the paper?

Yeah. And you? This is my name. I'm just like the video for a day. Why by our heart? I opened it up. What's Clarky doing in the paper? The hand clams up. We're off on an adventure. And you're just like the video for a day by our heart. I opened it up and he was clarking in the paper. The hand comes up and we're off on an adventure.

We're off on a black-and-white adventure. Duff-punch, chasing me with a baseball bat. I'll take you to it. We all know who we are when we're finished with you bastard. What's this? Bit-bit-bit-bit-bit 5 finger punch! Here are 20 seconds to save the world! We got it! The weird thing is, I've been following this podcast, I've got no fucking clue about that last bit, was about us. Anyway, it's my new papercard scene.

I was it. So it goes, what was this? The 5-figure punch? 20 seconds to save the world. And then you just collect your check at the end of the week. I mean, it's better than most, you know? Better than Nemi. There you go. I was interested to know, Clarke, what are you going to do in Paris Paper? What would be your dream, what would be your dream,

journalistic role? I quite like Sedokis. Yes, heart-min, fucking hard to write though, right? Oh, I just do them. Wait a second. Three filled into Doki. There's a Sedoki guy. He's just having a go. Just having a go. Do you still do them?

No, difficult, please. Come on, no hards. No, I don't. There was a, I had the bag four months of going, Son of a, yeah. It was me, did you use the carry around? Like, you used to have rings of these papers. I got one of those, yeah, I used to have, I would either get all of the pages,

the back pages of the papers, but then I started buying the blocks of, you know, you could buy like a block of Sudoku's, you could just tear them off when you finished them, I'd do it with the back of the car on tour. But after a while, I just realized, it doesn't, no one knows. Like, it's a mad ass. Like, you know, and it's sort of, I don't know why, but there was a real, there was a real spike. I mean, if anyone's still doing Sadoku's, get in touch and tell us what the kick is. How long have you managed

it? It made me feel like I was doing something clever than I was. That's why I'm going to talk to Nocus. I sat there with a pencil kind of puzzling over a sheet of numbers. Which is not, if it was like, if it was anything else, like, here's a maths puzzle, no, couldn't do it, I'll be out. If it's a, I was going to say a word, sir. Oh, I'll be able to. If it's coloring in, right? Just leave me. I just, I'm going to go over the line. He's there with his coloring

book and his one gray pencil. What's searches? You're absolutely right, it's a taste of a beautiful mind, isn't it? Yeah, you feel like you're doing something like, oh, especially the acceleration at the end, once that final tricky number's gone in and then you'd accelerate through the last bit, you'd feel the... Sorry. You're right. You'd feel the me sorry My omelette's repeat I mean you feel a million You feel a million

What his last words he's talking about to us for don't go and he died. He just said he feel a million dollars. Well at least we though, he died happy with a happy memory in his heart and a gurgling in his throat. Tom Perry. Tom Perry. We feel a million, aren't we? I'm literally himself to death. And this clock and I, with our family-sized lasagna and a moussaka in each hand, ready to kill you and you actually killed yourself with... Oh, hey! Oh, it took me some omelette! Yeah!

Sayonara, suckers, I'm gonna kill myself! Oh, look at the million dollar as well! I can't believe it! It's really funny. It's really funny last words. Oh, wow, it's last words. I feel like a million times. Oh, God. I don't know what to do. Dude, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here. That really hurt. Oh, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here,

he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's

here, he's here, he's here, here, he's here, he's here, here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here I must have been around for a while before, but it hit like that two year period where... Yeah, it's around 2004, 2005, 2006. It hit hard, didn't it? The Sudoku Gold Rush. Yeah, people went berserk for Sudoku. And I mean, it is still in the papers, isn't it? So it must still, people must still be doing it. I bet you, I bet you as well,

wait, in lockdown, here's a question for you. Has it gone up or down? Sudoku, is it going through the roof? Or through the floor? Are we going to start things? Sudoku's on Twitch. That's the idea of that. I really like that actually, going on Twitch. But also as well, we're not going to have any camera on the Sudoku ourselves. Just like this.

Yeah, just a headset, like a headset mic, you know, headset mic and a camera just pointing directly at our faces and they just out of shot, we're making a few little notes. And then there'll be a bit where you're like, fuck well that's it's not a seven-oranine right? Mine will be mine will be ah fuck done it I've done it that's another one done that was a tough one that? Join us tomorrow night for the word search the dog you on switch someone to watch it someone and watch it maybe

Do you think now in this day and age it's more impressive not to have a platform you know like Not to be a performer in any way like Like time was growing up. It was kind of like you felt like, ah, it's something special I'm doing here now, but now it feels like you're specialer if you don't. I think that might just be because everyone you know is beautiful and you're just sick of us. Can I just speak to a real person for a second? Well, I asked that, try to speak to the plumber and he didn't even know what a podcast

was. Hey, God. that it's tried to speak to the plumber and he didn't even know what a podcast was. Hey, God. That was from the last week's that was from last week's outro. That's beautiful call back. From a beautiful mind. Yes, well, look, I think I think we've covered a lot of ground here. There's a lot to be said for what we've been saying. Yes, I agree. The reviews are in. There's a lot to be said for what we've been saying. Most of it, we've said ourselves in what we were saying. But there is still a lot to be said for that.

Do you want to hear the point I was going to make at the start? Oh, yes! Or should we say it for next time? No, no, there's a time. You're not going to believe how mundane this is, but you know the thing is, because there here's the thing, what I consider to be a potential jumping off point is by no means my big closer. And this is what we dealt with. This is what we've dealt with now. You know, like, I'm now basically closing

on what I thought would be, maybe, this is gonna spark some chat. Bear in mind we've been talking a lot about technology. Let's take it back to a very early piece of technology, the humble broom. It occurred to me. Oh, good. It occurred to me that when a person in a play or on stage is sweeping, they

sweep forwards. But when you're sweeping in real life, you sweep backwards. Right, guys? Those words, quite not word. And I tell you what, after saying saying that I feel like about 50 pets. The sun setting in the desert, there goes Crosby sweeping forwards. Swimming feet. This is taking me ages. I'm so thirsty, I have a sandwich with bigger. I think it's powerful, it's a powerful image. It's so brilliant. Why do I bring a broom? Water would have been the first thing.

It's like a broom. Why am I holding a moussaka? Oh, God, this is really weird. It's like the opening of Wally. It just felt like Wally, though. I'm wearing a bottle hat. Yes, so that's how this ends. Fade to black.

Thanks for listening to our last ever podcast. How do they make bread and no wheat in our season? Well, that's the end of the house meeting. And as I said, in the introduction, we'll see. You're on the other side. And here we are, and Agas. Here we are on the other side. And here we are, Agas. Here we are on the other side. Right, a couple of things,

we can do another beef brothers very, very soon. In fact, we're doing a couple in this month because it's a long month. So please send us your beefs to beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com. And come on, come on, lockdown must have been a very, very potent time for. It's been a beefy time. It's been a beefy time. It's been a very very potent time for it's beat it's been a beef

It's been a huge beef if we were gonna eat a crisp and describe its flavor the flavor would be Nikki via be brothers a podcast at gmail.com got back in touch to say, Kerry Goddham and Red Words I wrote, I'm so fucking Starstruck, thanks guys. Well, if you would like to write the rabbit poem. I was saying it. Yes. I'm so fucking Starsted, he's incredibly depressed. But yeah, if you want your beef to be read out by a top celeb from the comedy world, then send it to beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. There's a good chance it might be one of us three, but you never know.

You've got a one in four chance, but being someone you can be impressed with. Please not bad, please not bad, please not bad. A lot of love for the godly man episode. Thank you so much for sending all your all your responses in. It's lovely to hear how much you enjoyed that episode. And yeah, we should we should be doing another one. Yes, I mean, I thought you were gearing up to read the message that we got in, which is the message from crystal So crystal got in touch by people this podcast at gmo.com and said on sex and twinkies, which I believe is answering an inquiry that we touched upon Earlier in the recordings

No, no, it's it's weirdly it's actually she's touched on something that we're yet to mention Twinkies. No, no, it's, no, it's weirdly, it's actually, she's touched on something that we're yet to mention. It's amazing, she's, she's, she's a real mystic make-fee, she's managed to, I assume in the future you're going to talk about something. Here's the answer to your guys. We were talking about Twinkies and how we don't really get them over here, how they're like cultural touchstone over America without us really understanding it. And a bit sort of bit so. On sex and twinkies, writing in as an American to confirm that because twinkies have the cream extruded into their centers, you don't even have to cut the end off

to simulate ejaculation because there's a clear orifice where it first went in. Oh, however the cake is fairly spongy. And I think that given a hearty squeeze, the product would mostly get flattened before the cream moved back out in any substantial way. I have the exact same problem. No, it's a bit spongy.

It's a bit spongy. It's spongy, it's spongy. It's on the... It's a bit spongy. Give it a squeeze. Spongey go and squeeze it on the... ...he flound it. I've got a spatula, no! A spatula, can't. And on the topic of Twinkies as sexual references, when I was about 12 years old, I had a boyfriend

who went off to boarding school. We wrote letters and at some point in one of my letters, I asked the highly inappropriate question. If I was a twinkay, what would you film me with? Oh my goodness. I really don't know how I expected into answer or even where the question came from in the first place. Maybe a cosmopolitan magazine or one of the truly tasteless joke books that were all the rage in the 80s. Anyway, not surprising, look at that, not surprisingly, his answer was equally inappropriate. If you were a twinkie, I would fill you with cum. Oh god. Yeah, it is kind of the answer. Some reason he- But for some reason he didn't write that in the letter.

He wrote it on the outside of the envelope. Oh my god. A little silver, a little sliver of paper over the word. Come. Naturally, my parents got to the mail before I did. Peaked under the paper I'm not abused Oh Crystal I find ignorance as to why he'd ever say such a terrible thing and over 30 years later

Twinkie still remind me of naughty Terrence Wherever he is now Wow, hey that is gold. Gold. Lord, she's telling you so much. What a mess it. Why did he rise it on the outside of the end? I had the madness, terrible.

I mean, that is a guy who wanted to be caught out. He was one of those, he was that, I mean, I know we're talking about a couple of 12 year old here, so we should tread carefully. But he was one of those goddamn exhibitionists, wasn't he? You know, he got his thrills by other people knowing what he was up to. My words. Norty Terrence. Anyway, well, I tell you, if you like that sort of chat,

we do a podcast on our Patreon called Love, Sex, Shagdown, which is basically 50 minutes of us reading messages like that. In fact, messages even grubbier than that, although usually from people who are of age. But so yeah, get yourself over to the Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash, Papis Flat Share for more grubby content. We do one of them every 10 episodes and we've done 10 Love, Sex, Shagag downs and they are, they're grubby affairs but a lot of stuff. They're always a real highlight.

Alright well, today's episode was produced as always by Emma Corsham. Corsham to you. Corsham to you. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Will you please be upstanding for the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call? Oh baby!

Well... I like it. Oh I like it and my voice is foreign. I went to a country with just in DARREN I like it and I want to give it a kiss I went to a country with Angelina Lillies I like so much I scripted it to a pile I went to a country with my good friend Kyle a pile I went to a country with my good friend Kyle. I liked it. I liked it so much. I spent all my cash and I bought a man called Daniel Cashel. I like it. I like it so much that I spent all my cash and I did make a mess and I did all these things with my main man talking to me. Oh, I like it, I like it, I like it.

It's so much, I didn't buy them, I rent them and I rent them with my friend, rich and bent them. Oh, I like it, I like it so much that I tattooed my chest and I had it tattooed with the face of Alex Preston. I like it. I like it. He likes it and I tell you why when I went to the barbeque, I was the main gorilla. But my second in command was James Miller and he like I said don't know to get out of that gave it a

beating but there was someone watching it was just a meeting I like it I like it I'm a tiger prowling a cage and I got my dick out and showed it to Robert Sage and he liked it He liked it and let me tell you now

Seeing you prowling around gave me a follow-brow but never mind if you call us like I Over there let me tell you now I'm feeling feeling strong about Let me tell you now that I'm having so much fun Let me tell you now I'm with your hand Hi He likes it He likes it I liked it so much

I pulled out my trousers and showed everyone my parts And who was most impressed Oh and of course it was John Scott He liked it He liked Scott He liked it, he liked it, he liked it so much She put his hair in a quiff and then he got his butt Bought out and showed it to Simon Smith and he liked it He liked it, I will never forget Just like the time I showed my butt to Paul Basil Gett

Oh, he liked it! He liked it! He liked it so much! He's brow, he did furrow And then I showed my butt to Caroline Purslow She liked it! She liked it! And I was so trim because I was wearing a bodice I liked it!

Because it made me feel slim, this bodys did. And I liked it so much that I gave it to Ian Guideys. He liked it. He liked it. It filled him with bravery, he was no coward. He learnt all he knows from Lauren. How was she like? She was like, she was good, cuz my butt butt was getting quite wet. Daniel Jolly!

Daniel Jolly! He's got a lovely dry butt butt. He's Daniel Jolly! And he likes it, he likes it, but not a lot. Let me tell you now about the time I met Like He liked it my papa I showed him again. Didn't you like it much? He said I liked it well Oh

I shouted to the forest? It was of course, Christopher Bricknell. He likes it! Chris Picnell, he likes it. But not everyone likes it. Some people experience fear when I got out my butt. But I scared Lewis Robert, because he liked it?

Well, he liked it. He liked it. He liked it. Oh, he liked it. He liked it. I see how he liked it. I got my butt out. I got my butt out.

Then I got out a nut-sum. Oh, it let's tell you now. I wanted to show it to Marcus Nathanael. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it.

He liked it. He liked it. He liked it so much. He got hard as well. Oh, that was much of my friend. My dear. He liked it. He liked it.

He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it. He liked it del He liked it But he didn't like it that much He's not a fan of Tarjas He said, let's stick to the bot bot My name is Tim Rogers

And he liked it He liked it I said, good idea Tim Let me show you my bot bot It's as it's woman-round as a shy penny. Not my words, the words of the last man I showed it to when that man was like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, You like my papa? Well how about this? It's even better when I'm running. He agreed of course it was Alex coming. And he liked it.

Oh he liked it. And he liked the fact that my head was bold. And he liked the fact that my butt-bott was too. I said what's your name? And he said it's Alex Walden and he liked it. He liked it. He liked it. True. Well let me tell you now about the time I showed my butt to the Mayor of Puttenair. Well he was so impressed that he gave me the keys to the city, and that man was... ...or probably a woman, if I'm judging from the name, and that man was stood next to Jen's. She liked it!

She liked it! I took her butt butt, and I showed it around. Someone chopped her up and said, I like that. I said, how much did you Someone chopped up and said I like that. I said how much did you like it? They said very rare. Who was that man? It was left, but Jerry, you like it?

You like it? You like it? You like it? I can't see no. We're not by the run on the world. I can't see it. I can't see it. I can't see it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,