Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Dehydr8) S9E13

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. This week, they get thirstyPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live 30th August, End of the Road Festival - https://endoftheroadfestival.com/8th September, London Podcast Festival - https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/london-podcast-festival/Produced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her coarse debris and pat in love for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. It's time for another Pappies House Meeting! With us, Pappies, I'm Tom. I'm Matthew, I'm there, and I apologise, but starting to cheer, I got a bit excited. I loved it, it brought a really much needed energy to the episode. Well, top of the really G'd up, and I was like, what? Yes, well if you're wondering why there's euphoric energy around the room, it's because it was quite a euphoric episode.

What's a bit? Well it was for some of us, yeah. Yeah. This episode, well basically, sit yourself down in the chair, don't pour yourself a nice big glass of something, and listen on. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. What temperature should we set the heat? How's meeting? Why on earth am I always weeping? How's meeting? Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Let's have a how's meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? How's meeting? You're right. Yeah, it's fine. Do you want water? No. Sure? Yeah.

No way. No way. This is going to be a no-water episode. You can stick your water. People are going to be listening to it going, please guys take a drink. People have already complained about the noises we make. Yeah, so... It's a plaggy episode. Should I get some water just in case? Is it a good idea if I can get more water? Oh, we'll come in now. This is the dry ep. The first... The dry ep.

This is set in the Sahara. You're listening to dehydration live. I mean, I did just drink a water. Oh, not that. You're not allowed to participate in it for 40 minutes. I'm sitting out. Okay. All right, you go. So you start to feel a little bit dry.

Do you know what,. Okay. You go. So you start to feel a little bit dry. Do you know what? Guys, off you go. You've got to go and sit under the hand dryer in the toilet. I got it with your mouth open. Oh, I just need to dry you out. I bet it's quite dangerous.

How long do you think you'd last? Sorry, I'm supposed to be sitting this out. Yeah, sorry. This is our big chance, clearly. Finally. How long do you think Crosby could last with his mouth open? And you're dry. I can't do it without Crosby. last with his mouth open and redrive? I can't do it without crossing it. I'm not getting it.

I've missed it too much. In almost any audio jackass there. How long would Crosby last and redrive? God, you can't even get the last syllable out. I need a drink. I'm dying of thirst out here. Are you sure you don't want to get your glass of water because you're crossing it? What were we doing when you're out the room? You can sure you don't want to get a glass of water because we're crossing it?

We're crossing it. We're crossing it. We're crossing it. We're crossing it. You can chat amongst yourselves. I'll go and get some water. We're crossing it. We're crossing it.

This is good for us that we start drinking water, start hydrating ourselves. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together.

I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear you two together. I hear hydrating ourselves. I want a glass of water, I'm going to go get a glass of water. This is like Buddhist kind of levels of brain training. It isn't anything to do with Buddhist colors of hydrating. And also, if it is, then why did you panic during every word of that sentence? This is Harry, can I look like the Buddha a little bit?

Thank you. You have to achieve a higher level, you have to for go water and think a bit more about yourself. I don't think that's quite enough to build a religion on at this stage. I think water doesn't water help you think though. Yeah, water's good for hydration. You saw the advert I did for. Water is good for hydration. Yeah, it's good for brain hydration. You know, like, you know, it's nature's energy drink.

That's what my partner says. A lot of people say nature's energy drink. And also when you're making the morning, a know, like, you know, it's, uh, nature's energy drink, that's what, uh, what a lot of people say nature's energy drink. And also when you're aching the morning, a pint of water gets your wake better than a coffee. This is what I've started doing now. Do you know what? Snapping awake, just like that. No more coffee, water instead of nothing. What we're going to hear lies.

Just do it over your head, though. Just do shit straight over myself and then I eat the glass. And there you are. The day starts fantastically, but it ends awfully. Smash the glass on the floor, walk over it, saying your Buddhist mantra, you won't feel any pain. Is that my Buddhist mantra?

Yeah, you won't feel any pain. You won't feel any pain? Break someone's neck. Oh, no, no, no. I think you're confusing Buddhist with murderers. Oh, I was thinking of like a Liam Neeson taken style. Is he a Buddhist? I don't feel any being like that.

Not a strong impression of Liam Neeson straight off the bat. Oh, it wasn't bad though. Well, it was Scottish for starters. That's a problem. I had the essence of it. I think that's what it's all about. You had literally the wrong part of the world. A good impressionist.

Get the essence of someone. Yeah, and you had neither the essence nor the accents. That's by the by. But you had neither. That'd be by the by-lawed. That's grounds keeper Willi you're doing there. He's getting the noise. Right, the noise.

The noise of the cracking neck, I'll accept that. Oh, that was a cracking neck. Speaking of noise, what we get in here? There is... Oh, gone. The system is dehydrated of noise, what we get in here? There is... Oh, gone. The system is dehydrated. The system is dangerously dehydrated. We'll never mind that now.

I'm going to go and get a glass of water. How long do you think we can keep this going for without a drink? Shall we broadcast until one of us needs a drink? No, that's less exciting than that. That's my gutter. Guys, you're not going to believe that world record we've got going on here.

Yeah, we've got a whole broad list. We've got a whole broad list. Until somebody needs it, yeah, yeah, you're right, so you're terrible at it. All right. And also, sorry about the fact you died. Bye. Morph is my quieter. I love that you go to Norris McWirther.

But who, when you think of record breakers? Roy Castle. Also, passed away. Also dead. Er, as Michaela struck it every time. Yeah, not passed that record, boy. It's getting worse. I'm seeing further in that the accent has been taken from you.

Liam Neeson kills all the presenters of record breakers. Can I just say, oh, Michaela Stracken was the really wild show, not record breakers. Okay. You're thinking of showing off a wild. Was it so wild that it broke records? I suppose actually, yeah, they would often talk about record-breaking animals. Paragraphalkin, for example. You didn't know that Paragraphalkin anymore, man.

Kicking. Mom. Why is, are you doing every accent from the current series of love? I need some. It's taking out every single thing that's brought up in this podcast. And Phil, one of us needs a drink.

So every, every time he kills somebody, he does it with a different accent to throw people off the scent. He's coming up behind them and he's snapping their neck, but he's doing it in a voice that doesn't in any way sound like his own. Oh, I thought that was all Neeson. That was all Neeson. So the essence of Neeson.

The last one's sounding more like sting. The Nessendorma. Nessendorma, is that what Nessendorma's about? The Nessendorma's of Neeson. It's Nessendorma about Liam Neeson. His essence. Nessendorma is Neeson. His essence of Neeson is Nessendorma. Nessendorma. Nessendorma.

Yes and some Neeson would be an amazing cologne. Yes, until all the bad stuff came out about Neeson. That would have really sold. Oh yes, that's right. I've forgotten. Yeah, yeah, never gonna remember about to me either. Gah! Gah! That's the one that was time. It is making me thirsty. That was an amazing little scene you did for the thing.

Thank you, Tom. It's because I dehydrated off my nog. Yeah, can I please go and get a glass of water? No, we don't. Stop broadcasting until first claims one of us. Yeah, but I feel like it's claimed, Matthew. Yeah, I'm thirsty. You're thirsty because you're thinking about how thirsty you are. You're just going to be, you're going to drink a five minutes

ago. A thirsty ep for the listener. This is the thirsty ep. Yeah. But then they can go, in fact, listener, you're not allowed to get any water. We're all locked in. I did listen to those. They're locking themselves in. Can I just, like, I've got to be the voice of Breeze here. This is irresponsible podcasting. Exactly. Right. This is danger podcasting. I don't want to, I don got to be the voice of Reasonia, this is irresponsible podcast. Exactly, right. This is danger podcasting. I don't want to, I don't want to danger podcasting. This is how we get the youth of today involved, instead of eating those tide pods or whatever they do.

It's true, the banging the old washing up liquid down their goblets. And goblets is not your goblets. It says, well, it's a child's goblet. Yeah. LAUGHTER All the children are banging their goblets. They're banging all washing up liquid in their goblets a child's gob. Yeah. LAUGHTER All the children are banging their goblets. They're banging all washing up liquid in their goblets. That's true.

We are going to podcast dry until your thirst with a clienty. To podcast. And then when this finishes, we all celebrate with a... Imagine how... You know what, that... What's the long days walk into... Ice Cod in Alex. Ice Cod in Alex. Yes. How did I get that from's the long days walk into ice cuddling? Ice cuddling, Alex.

Yes. How did I get that from you saying long days? That's why we still work together, my boy! Why do we still work together? Because you don't know anything and I know everything. It's all this. I love the fact that we think this is work. That's a good point.

It feels like work. It's hard work today, because I'm actually... Exactly, I'm sorry. It's a bit of a surprise. It's just keeping those alive. That's the problem. It's with two indul work today because I'm actually... Exactly, I'm sorry. It's a bit of a fuss over here. It's keeping us alive. That's the problem. It's we're too indulged as a society. You deprive yourself of things, you're heightened your senses,

and then suddenly... Shh, shh, shh, shh, you appreciate things. You know what I mean? You know what I appreciate? What's that? Getting a glass of water. I know, and I live in a world where I'm able to leave the room now and get a glass of water.

By depriving yourself, you get the joy of slaking your thirst, my favorite word. So, right? It's like, to slake one's first. Producer Ebb has got a bottle of water on the other side of the window. She's not gonna drink it. She's not gonna drink it.

She's torn, she is. No, listen to Dears. I've been developing a headache now. Just because you're thinking about it, that's why normally you do it fine. Stop thinking, do what me and Tom do. How's BZ? BZ, BZ. That's why normally you do it fine. Stop thinking do what me and Tom do Listen to dear Poise out the glass of water pop it down in front of you just look at it

You're not gonna have that until we finish this is this is like you know enjoyment what's it called like enjoyment delaying pleasure delayer? We're pleasure delays That's a thing isn't it? What's pleasure delayer? We're pleasure delays. That's a thing. Isn't it? What's pleasure delayer from? It's from a film. Oh yeah. Edging. Yes, we're all due to edging.

Oh my goodness. Clarke. Clarke. Clarke is so lucky. Clarke is single to himself. I edged myself on the edging. Right. We are first edging. Is that a phrase? Oh, hashtag first edging. Well, we are first edging. Is that a phrase? Oh, hashtag first edging?

Like, as the wrong guy of growth. I think if we get that hashtag trending, then we're in trouble. We're in trouble. It's the wrong kind of audience, I think. But this is what it's about. We need to mentally take ourselves to a place. This is where the buzz thing comes in.

And this is where we're kind of growing into this. We've got to call. Yeah, we're going to lead these people, we're going to improve their minds. I could be like a Russell Brown figure. I can't imagine that this podcast is good for anyone's mind. Can I just say, I watched your documentary recently about a guy who was a, he was a sort of spiritualist.

Here we go. Now we're into him. And we're talking about. He was very charismatic. Great. And he didn't want you to do just yet. No, nothing. I mean, basically all of those kind of semi-cult guys are a bit like that, but this wasn't that aspect of it. Okay. So he built a like a Native American sweat lodge, him and his guys,

built this sweat lodge, and the idea was that it was going... Is it going... Is that a sauna? Yeah, but I think it's sort of part of the Native American tradition that when they will go into a sweat lodge and they will sweat out all the, I guess, the impurities and I have visions. Yep, great. And, uh, it's a bit like this room that we record. Exactly. It's a very similar. We've been forced to turn the aircon off. Great.

We're here in this sweat lodge. Now, um, he got people into this mind sort of like, if you want it enough, this is going to be good for you. And then, of like, if you want it enough, this is gonna be good for you. And then of course, okay, that's definitely offensive. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is that offensive? Yeah, of course.

Okay, carry on. Okay, I was trying to create an atmosphere. I have credit. You have credit. You have a really bad atmosphere. Not the kind of stuff that I've done. Not the kind we're hoping for. No, stop slapping yourself.

Please stop slapping yourself. Because I'm trying to talk about this documentary I saw on Netflix. That. Just a... as an undercurrent. No, because... Okay. Basically, he's like you. Okay. He's this... He's this incredible. Well, let me take.

Incredibly charismatic. Yes. Dick. Do you say Dick or Dick? Dick. Dick. Because he was a dick. So, dick. Do you say dick or tick? Tick, tick. That's a dick. Because he was a dick. So yeah, that was his second point. Dick, tick.

And so you're a dick ticker. You just go. I have to send dick ticks to Clarky to Edgimon. It's your, Clarky, you're a dick verified. What? You're a dick's been verified. You said so many, Clarky said so many dick picks. He's got a blue tick.

He's got a blue tick, isn't he a blue tick, he's got a blue tick. If I was a rapper, I definitely have that as a lyric. I said, you saw all many dick picks that gave me a blue tick, I'm not fathom that. He's not as fathom that as I was doing it. It's not a good rap, I can't believe you lost fathom that, but not in the chants, okay. If we can get back to, thank you very much,

Oliver Stone's the doors, and if we could get back to thank you very much Oliver Stone's The Doors and if we could get back to This document Okay, so anyway, and he Oliver Stone's The Doors is a great name by the way Oliver Stone's The Doors Oliver Stone's The Doors because he's been locked out good so long yourself in doldrum so So maybe so this guy still trying to edge Clark Young please stop trying to block it The end of this episode is still trying to edge Clark Young. Please stop trying to. The end of this episode is Clarky. The end of this episode is Clark and you realise Harry. Clarky climaxing and men you downing a pint of water.

Longs its water. A pint. Yes, this whole episode is basically sticky biscuit. The blue tick is just air of Clarky. You can make two pints. I'm not on your nelly. I, please, please leave my nelly out of this room. I was gonna go right on your nelly mate.

Quick question, where would the nelly be on your body? Go. The, the, the, oh, no. Oh, I mean, I went for smaller, your back. Okay. Oh, I like that. Oh, that's nice for you, nelly. I was gonna say the chin. Tickle your nelly. Tickle your nelly. Yeah. Oh, I tell you. Oh that's nice for you Nelly. I was going to say the chin. Tickle your Nelly. Tickle your Nelly. Yeah. Oh I tell you what it's a real Nelly scratch. It's

a real Nelly scratcher that one. It's really, well it did tickle my Nelly. Nelly Nelly mate. Oh yeah. Blue Nelly. Oh my god. There's a real Nelly tickler that one was. Oh I'm not recall that then. So chin is your Nelly. So the chin is your nelly? And a nelly tickler is something to think about. Your nomsublutic. Steee-e-e-e on clarky, your pervert. Okay, I'm glad you had to shut that down. Because better in mind, Paris is going to use that in a rap later on.

I don't. Please don't, don't trample on his flow. So, I'm a flow rider. Please stop. Paris, you must listen now. Okay. So, I'm a flow rider. Please stop. Harry, you must listen now. So again, yes. Very enthusiastic. Tick. Very, very charismatic. Tick, tick. He was obsessed with this idea of, you know, across the board spirituality. Oh, okay. You know, like loads, loads of different aspects. So he would, he would take all his favorite aspects from Japan. For example, yeah, from Japan.

I've never been. Sure. You still got some favorite aspects, I'm sure. Bonsai. Bonsai, sure, yeah, okay. We'll take that. Bonsai, I don't think it's necessary a spiritual thing. I suppose there is, I suppose there's an element of control

to it. I mean, karate kid. I think that's why, okay. Yeah, so you do his it. I think karate kid gets quite... I think that's why, okay. Yeah, so you do his very aspects from the karate kid. Okay, from back to the future, from Batswiss Night Inc. Loads of films in the 80s. Perfect.

Cocoon. Cocoon. People can be sexy. Without the message of the film. I don't think it was. It feels like that was the message of the film. No, wasn't it? They just got a new lease of life. They've still got life in them, yeah. So he would do these big talks and loads of sort of followers.

He was really, really lovely. He was good at talking. He was really good at talking. Tink. He never stopped. Would he stop for a drink? No. Because he had a message to give. Yes.

Interesting. And what? What would happen with your... You're a lot of this guy as well, by the way. I think I am. Sure. That's why I watched these documentaries as a sort of warning from history. Right. Because the documentary was following him round as he tried to rebuild his career after

four people died in his sweatlight. Oh, no. So, so bear in mind, he basically was like, that is the... If you want it enough, if you want it, and so people were collapsing and people were going, well, this person's collapsed next to me, shall I drag them out? Well, yeah, they don't want it enough. They don't want spiritual enlightenment as much. And so I feel like what we're doing at the moment now. That's like putting water on the, when you're in the sauna and it's like put the bucket on,

mate, put the whole bucket on, and then you spoil it. Hold on. Have you put the entire bucket on? Yeah. No, you mustn't do that, man. You're doing it. You spoiled it. That's exactly right. So you were talking about a time when you row into sauna. I'm talking about this man trying to rebuild his life after he inadvertently murdered a people. I tell you what, currently parry. You're putting the entire bucket on this bucket. Can we stop talking about buckets full of water?

I am absolutely spit-y. Here's the thing, I'm very thirsty now. I'm sweating feathers now. I wonder if there's an argument now after I've explained about this Network documentary I watch please stop doing that. This is our We shared listeners for that outside but we also gained a few I think no That's turning to edgy. That's turning to edgy. Let's not do the ASMR thing.

Never go back. Spread over that old ground. But all I'm trying to say is, look, you're holding the glass, Perry. It's empty. Yeah. So there's something spiritual about that, isn't there? An empty vessel.

Yeah, wasting to be filled. Yeah, with boxes like it. I want you to learn it. By talking for another half an hour. Ugh. And listen to the deer's, they're listening to. They're there on public transport. Why in up someone's quench?

What? Do you know what? Here's the thing, it's making me, the problem with this podcast at the moment is, it's making me feel nauseous. So I imagine that this must be feeling the same way. Yes. I'm doing it. What? Get in the water. No! I'm getting the water. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Chase your heroes up a tree and don't let them have a drink of water. Throw rocks at them, that's what they say. Chase your heroes up a tree and throw rocks at them.

Now, the podcast listener is listening to this thinking, oh my god, we're into it. If you can't erase, we've got on the bus, and they were like, if you slow this bus down, then nothing will happen to you. That's not film, is it? That's just a guy getting on the bus and breaking? Whereas instead, it's like, you can't break.

You can't have your drink. No, what you're... You are Keanu Reeves. No, no, the difference. The difference with what you're suggesting though, Parry, is if Keanu Reeves got on the bus. Yes, yes. And then they said, if this bus goes below 50, it explodes and he immediately went, I'll

tell you what, let's go below 50, shall we? Yeah. That's what you're suggesting. That's what? and that will be... What? What? What? No, some very nice, that's another you've taken from Japan, you're manga acting. What? What? What?

Young warrior? I've never watched manga. No. They're not, yeah, it sounds a bit like that. Also, manga, the publications, guys, anime, the actual films. My apologies to be serious. It's because we're dehydrated, OK? I'm not thinking straight at the moment.

Of course. So you're... Or shall we? We're through the looking glass, dear listener. Wait until we start to hallucinate. I, for example, have started talking like these. What will happen next? I'll tell you what, the very least you could do, Parry.

I'll tell you that, that was disgusting. Parry, the very least you could do is try and give us some entertaining chats. I must now... What? What has this become? The first cast. I must now. Why? What has this become? The first cast. This has become the dangerous episode. This is like, what do people do when they go to Mexico

and take, I am... I am an Ayanapa. What? Not any. They go to Ayanapa and take a Mexico. And take a Mexico. No, they... Have a Mexican in Ayanapa.

I don't think it's Mexico when they take Iron Apple. I think is it Peru? This is like him with his bloody mangananame. Oh, your bloody fat man. Wait until you get some dehydrated action going on. All the facts become a blur. Hold on, are you turning into Trump? LAUGHTER

Parry, but he's really thirsty, he's Trump. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's just that Trump's just really dehydrated. Yeah, he's really thirsty, he's trumps. Maybe that's the problem, maybe that's just that, maybe it's just that Trump's just really dehydrated. Yeah, he's just, yeah, he's just too much Coca-Cola. If he had a good point, actually. Yeah, that big glass of water, he'd be like, oh, hold on, I only drink like Coca-Cola, didn't he? I really.

Yeah, like Coke and cheeseburgers. Give the guys some water. He drinks cheeseburgers. That's milk shakes them up. Pfft. Oh no! Oh no! That's milk milkshakes them up. LAUGHTER Oh no! LAUGHTER Oh my god.

Should we lock him out? Crosby did a classic look one way, send Barry one way, get out the door the other way. How's BD? I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. How's BD? Listen, dear, if you're enjoying our weekly output, then it would be lovely if you could support us on Patreon.

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That is not for you. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC

Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? MUSIC OK, listen, dear. Here we have a classic situation now where we're going to prank Crosby. Oh, by when he comes back into the room. Paris, can it be Edge and me? OK.

Now you've tried that trick with me before. Come on, it'll be great. It's not a prank. It's a brilliant prank. Okay, I've got a good idea. Crossbeats have come back into the room with some water. One of, only one of us is going to drink it. And then here he is.

This is, no, don't drink it yet. Listen, because I've got, I've had a really good premise now. All right, okay. Finally, it's arrived. I'll hold it, but I'll put it in the middle. No, I'm not gonna put it in the middle. Okay, okay.

So, so, Perry, can I just say, for the listener at home, did you explain what I did? Yes. I did the classic what I pretended there was something going on behind you, which is mad, because we're in a tiny little room with white walls, I looked above your head, I went, oh, that pulling expression,

I was like, what's that? I looked around, bump, I was at the door. Do you genuinely know why I looked? Why? I thought you were having a spirit vision. And I thought finally, we've achieved everything we're aiming for. I thought you were looking at my, what's the, you know,

my aura? I thought you'd seen something pop out of my aura. No, and then I was like, I will say one thing. Yeah. Everybody in the office outside at Acast, really panicked. Because I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I one thing, everybody in the office outside at ACAST really panicked. Because I shot it out of there. A woman arrived with paper towels thinking that we poured water over the equipment. I said to her, quite the opposite.

She must have been shocked to see you heading in with water. Don't throw water on it. Don't throw water on water. Is that a phrase? Because they say fight fire with fire. They do. So they could also say, don't pour water on water. You just, I think your, isn't that sort of more like

the drop in the ocean? It's just a drop in the ocean. Water on water is dropping the ocean. Or pissing in the winds. Don't cry ever spill water. Don't cry ever spill water. It's just more water. Tell me your, tell me your plan anyway. So we've't cry ever spill water. Don't cry ever spill water. It's just more water. Tell me your plan anyway.

So we've got this glass of water, this, which I'll tell the listeners at home, I've not drunk it yet. Yes. It's a full glass of water. I'm so excited to have it. Do you know what? This is like check off's gun.

I so rarely get one over on parry. This is it. And this was it. And I was so delighted at how well that worked out. And that's a stiff door as well. You can see I struggled with it. It is a stiff door. But out the door and you couldn't quite well that worked out and that's a stiff door as well. You can see I struggled with it, but I was out the door and you couldn't quite grab this whole premise is a stiff door.

It's a real stiff door of a promise. We're back to talking about theatre, but yes. It's a very theatrical podcast. It's a very spiritual podcast. So, so we spin a pen. Whoever it lands on gets to drink. Well, then the other two remain dry in this heightened state of dehydration. Oh my God.

And listen to dear, has to try and glean who's had the water. It's basically a science experiment where you don't know, one of us will have had two of us will have had placebos, no water. And one of us will have had two of us will have had placey bows Now what and one of us will have had the treatment What and then we're all three of us will make No, we're not making any

No, the drinking will happen off mic. Okay. Well anyway, we're not going to drink on mic No, the listener needs to know that drank spin drunk Yeah, the drink's been drunk. I can't just say, yeah, the Drank's been drunk. Can I just say, now you are drunk? In my junk, I'm spitballing again. Well, you're saying, saw me, you did, Bix, that someone gave me a blue dick, I drunk my junk, and now I'm drunk my drunk. Can I just say, you're not spitballing,

you've got little flex of spit at the side of your mouth from dehydration. I'll tell you what, this is what the greats do, right? It's not the legend, they get the studio, they lock down some true voice. Can we need to be here now this stage, Clark? I'm holding a glass of water. I love that you're still holding it.

That means you've got, you know, there's dramatic tension in this situation. I tell you what, I will accept the game, because I like a game. Yes. We'll put a pen in the middle of the table. Right, let's get it. Spin it once just as a test, just to check it, actually.

Oh, that's it. That's a bad spin. Well, no. So we spin the pen. We spin the pen. And whoever, whoever, whoever it lands on gets the drink. It's the drink. It gets to drink the water.

They plug the whole bad, but the whole thing. The other two. Too much water. Remain dry. Oh, no. And then at the end of the episode, we reveal who had the drink. I don't think we need to do that. We don't need to do that because they'll be the last one.

Oh, no, baby. What? That'll be the one that will be the last one. If there's a life, what? Tom, no. This is awful. I'm going to make a break for the door again. No, I'm not going to fall for me once.

I'm not going to look there. I'll not look back again. That's the old expression. For me once and I'll not look back again. Now listen. Oh, I feel wired. This is exciting. It is me. It's like you're off, again. Now listen. Oh, feel wired. This is exciting, isn't it? It's like you're off your feet.

I think you are. If you don't know what, if you don't know anything other than not drinking water, I have not drank water for three days now. Really? No, that's not drinking water. Just, no, we've been drinking water, but it's just the awareness of it.

And that's what we're getting to, is depriving yourself of something that you have too much of. I don't have too much water. I don't have too much water. I don't have too much water. I don't have too much water. You're like 70% water. It's a bit much, isn't it?

Rain in it, mate. With all your water. Paris only 10% water. Let's boil it right down. Let's get down to our bare. I bet there's like a nutritionist type speech where you could say, look, we're too much water. Let's bake it down. Again, there's congeal. There might be a speech where you could say, look, we're too much water. Let's bake it down.

Again, it's congeal. There might be a speech where you can say it, Tom, that doesn't mean it's actually a thing. Congeal to heal. That's kind of my initial thing. It's the name of my album. Congeal to heal. What I'm doing is I'm going on a spiritual tour, I'm releasing a music album and a cookbook all in one. Right? And what's the cookbook got in here? Just try it. It's very dry meals. Dry rice.

Meals that are going to draw... It's basically just the cinnamon challenge I've been doing. Have you tried a teaspoon of cinnamon? That's recipe one. Three crackers and under a minute. Ah! The recipe two. Raised a lot of money for children in need.

Do that on my six form. How did you eat? Well, no, you go around saying, I bet a lot of money for children in need, doing that on my six form. How did you eat? Well, no, you go around saying, I bet you're a pound for children in need that you can't eat three crackers. God, I look back on my life now. I've been trying to get people to dehydrate all my life. Oh, my God, who knew that was my mission?

I knew it. I mean, I don't, I don't want to play this game, Tom. And yet. And yet I do. But I believe, I think we should, I don't think we should reveal at the end who had the water. I think we should have revealed immediately who had the water. I'm just a slight change to the water.

I'm concerned now that if I plug the water, I'm going to come off this higher spiritual plane that I'm currently, like those rhymes up in spitting, this kind of congeal to heal. Can I just say that it's not, that doesn't come out in the wash every day. The only way we can lose is if Clarkie gets the water. Because if you get the water, you chill out a little bit.

If I get the water, I get to drink the water, which is what I'd like to do. If Clarkie gets it, he seems pretty together already. He's handling his junk very nicely. That's because he's edgey. He's concentrating. I had to leave my junk. He hasn't drunk his junk because he's junk his crank.

You know that about Clarkie? We know that about Clarky. We know that about Clarky. His drunk is so cranked. Clark is concentrating on not spoiling his edge experience. Okay. Which, by the way, is what Bono's been doing for a long time. Of course, of course. He's don't ruin your edge experience. Do you think that's why the edge is called the edge?

He's got no edges in his life. He's so permanently on the edge. They've called him the edge. Do you think that's it? Is that why he's never juiced in his life. He's got, he's so permanently on the edge, they've called him the edge. Do you think that's it? Is that why he's doing, is that why he's only ever playing like one note? Because he's always gonna get the other hand round to edge of his life.

Just constantly on the verge. Is that why he's seeing Simon wants to touch himself, he has to play the guitar instead. I still haven't found what I'm looking for. It's why, it's all fitting into playing with the world. Without you. It's why Bono wears those glasses in case the edge goes off. He could be blinded.

They're safety goggles. Imagine if that was the end of the show of a U2 show. Finally. Where the edge, he, the followers go off. He reserves it, he stores it all up in those balls of his. He stores it up and then, as a classic ball. At the end of the tour, he goes, how's about this for a Joshua tree?

Pfft! Off it goes. And you too, that name actually refers to his two balls. Really? Yeah, because they're always so palpable in the dressing room. And you, the U-V-S-R-M-T. The U-V-S-R-M-T. U-T?

Unempty two. Unempty two. That's what U-T sets for the unempty two. The original logo used to be a big pair of knackers, didn't it? Yeah, that's right, absolutely. And they got bigger and bigger until they had to stop using them because they were so large. And that's why the edge keeps his guitar like so. Yeah, he's hiding his massive old ball bags. You reckon the edge puts on those nice and nice balls.

Sometimes it can take his ball to be. He has to have bags. Yeah, plural. Do you remember when they had those giant heads. Oh, yeah, the joint the the In proximity to his ball bags their actual size. You know why is it? His balls got so big they they formed a third and that's where the Uh-oh's toss So he's actually he's actually at the start of vertigo. He's got the size of four balls It's why he's got vertigo. He's got no job. He's got vertigo. He's got the size of four balls. It's why he's got vertigo

He's got a vertigo cutor say top those muscle say like 15 as well or 14 What's that isn't it isn't cutor say like 15 or 14? That's how big his balls are really they're 15 times the size of bono's So Uno is bono DOS is Larry Mulling Jr Tress is Adam Clayton and Katowel is... Bow! Look at this! He's a nice, he's a nut-sale. Hello! Hello!

Good God! At least, yeah, he's got words to go because he's sat atop them. Like the end of Dr Strangelove, just riding his balls around. He's riding his own balls. Yeah, just riding his own balls around. That is something really serious. He's quite a bunch of strange love. It's quite a own balls right? That is so serious. He's strange love.

It's why Bono's got such a big ace. Really? Yeah. But to keep the edge balls balls. Yeah. So he's got a swimming pool. Yeah, he just has to sit on the edge of it. That's why I get the edge. The edge is sat on the edge of Bono's swimming pool.

Just dunking his balls to keep them cool. Oh my goodness. Okay, we need to get Paris up water. I think this actually is the best podcast we've done in our entire life. And then you're what? We're powered by the dehydration, baby! I see it! I live in a house made of iron sheet. I see it!

Right, so we're flying now. I've got a... We're on what I like to call level dehydrate. It's above level seven. Level dehyde seven. So on my congeal to heel tour. Yeah. That's what everyone's aiming towards get towards level D

Hydrate you should watch this documentary because you're basically this guy There's eight levels of thirst one a little bit thirsty Two a little bit more thirsty the little thirsty three. Oh boy. Four. I'm spitting feathers. I like spitting feathers I always think it was that you're angry, but it isn't a tax. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I was saying things like oh, I'm spitting feathers. I always think it was that you're angry, but it isn't a tax. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to get to level D hydrate, don't you? Oh, okay fair enough. That's the problem. Well listen, I have too many levels. I'm level D hydrate six at the moment.

So can we play this game? So I can find it if I'm going to get to drink this water. Okay, we spin it. No, no, no, no, no. Your pen's got a weird rubber casing on it. Let's go. It's going to stop it from spinning. Look at that, that's a gorgeous spin.

No, yeah, it's spinning itself. Whoa, me. No, we're spinning. We're spinning. No, no, no. Hold on, that was onto Emma. She gets the drinker, the drinker, the drinker, I'm going to We're spinning. No, no, no. That was onto Emma. She gets the drinker third drink.

I'm going to be very sorry. All right, if Emma gets to drink then. Here we go. Practice just been then. Oh, that's a nice spin, right? That's a bit more fine to spin. Okay. So I think producer Emma, can you come in here

and spin the pen for us to make sure there's no cheating? We've got a different kind of like marker of our area. I've got four hands right now guys. Oh my God. An absolute point. Two in the engine, Clarky. Why on earth do we want to dose this fire? That's the one you say.

Okay, here comes Emma. We're like a bush fire we've created of ideas. A bush fire of ideas. The ground is parched. Okay, Emma, reach in and spin that, spin that, spin. All right. I'm shrinking my area. Okay, ready? This is the spin. I'm going to see. I can see you dare, Drake. Don't you slet, don't you dare slake this joy ride of thirst that I'm on right now. Okay, here we go. I can't believe. I can't believe you want to bring us down off this massive high. Alright, a D. Emer, will you spin? Oh, baby.

Oh, it's powering. Wow. OK, it's a big moment for powering now because he's getting my glass of water. I'm on level dehydrate here. Thanks, Emma. I'm saying H2O no. This goes against everything I've been teaching.

I'm on my way to congeal to heel. Been firing out the absolute gold. Ah well, the rhymes, the crimes. The unstoppable times. The crimes. The rawn just rhymes. The crime is you've almost killed two of us. Okay, you guys are gonna stay thirsty now.

Yeah. I feel bad about that, but I'm glad that we're gonna finally see parodrinks and water. And this is live slake. Okay, don't drink it straight down the microphone. You know what, we've gotta give the listener what they need. So, we've gotta give the listener what they need. They need to hear it.

How do you find the words? They need to hear the slate happening. Okay, I am absolutely parched. Of course you are. But it's been good. And I think the lesson here is, you gotta come down from the mountain top. You know, Moses didn't stay up there

and keep those tablets to himself, did it? He didn't pop those tablets himself. You know, he didn't double drop those two stone tablets. Oh, they didn't go down, he didn't go down. He didn't die on the hill and he shared. And I thought I'm doing now, listen to that. Do you know what, though? What Moses didn't do was take his two mates up there

and leave him for dead. Hey, which is what you're doing right now. We don't know that. He probably did. He did actually. He went up there. Moses, Jacob, Hameth, they didn't come down. Hameth.

It's like that was a no as son. No, that was Ham. Oh my goodness. Hameth. Hameth was a descendant of Ham. I thought it was just a bit like him. They were, they were, they were on an original with names. Hameth.

Oh, I do. I feel like I've got three tongues in my mouth at the moment. Okay, well, you haven't. Great. You haven't. Not until after the podcast. It's like, we should, we should take this. We should take this to a field in Glastonbury and have like the thirsty face. What's going on, Clarky? This is what, this is the birth of a movement,

not to your hand. Listen, you are, that's the thing, with your mind, because we are connect, we are brothers of thirst. You're not movement, Cross-by. Not touching your hand. Listen, you are. That's the thing with your mind. Because we are connect, we are brothers of thirst. You're not brothers of thirst. We're the brothers of thirst. I love that die straight, Salmon. That's it. The brothers and sisters of thirst.

I'm your my first, my last, my everything. These are all good things. See, this is a rule. You started to step up to level dehydrate. No, mate, honestly, when I'm a glass of bread, I need a can of beer in my hand that all tired. Yes, that's dehydrate, inn you, brood? Brood? Yes, I've got a great tongue to my mouth.

It was a mixture of brother, got blood. Oh, I love it. I would drink a pint of blood now, that's how thirst I have. Join the family thirst, listeners dear. They've not drank a drop since they started listening. Well, that's an interesting question now. Do a third of do listeners now have to pay the pen game with themselves to see if they can have a drink?

Listen to the idea. I don't want people dying on our watch. I have not touched a drop yet. You guys, if you're thirsty, have a drink. If anyone listening to this podcast was 45 minutes away from dying of thirst, I don't think we're gonna be the good. I'm about to die.

Just pull myself a glass of water and pop this podcast on. Oh no! We're all thirsting together, listen to the idea, don't worry, we're all in it together, we're gonna ride out this dehydrate, then at the end of it, we're gonna have a lovely glug of water. What I really like about this is, I am now in control of Crosby's glass of water. So, I don't have to drink it, I don't know. Oh no, you said the rules.

And the rules did I, the old look above the head, something's behind you, that's a rule. You broke that, my friend. Oh no, this is the lug. This is the lug. You don't have glue. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think I'm going up to level Brian. Oh, the one above level D.

I'd rate, baby. I'll be very disappointed if you, because I played the game for propers. I know, I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm coming down. You just need to know that I was up there, brothers and sisters. Okay? Family first. This is what it's about. We touch the heights. If you're at any point understanding anything Perry's saying,

do tweet us at Pappy's Twitter. Both of them haven't had anything to drink either. They're flying with us, you know? This is what it's about. Well, I think to drink. I'm thirsty and I'm not flying with you. Drinking the water. Oh, this is a nightmare to watch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've with you drinking the water. Oh, this is a nightmare to watch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, I've, I've beat him.

I've beat him. Drink it properly, drink it properly like a human being would drink. No, no, no, drink it properly. Don't take in loads of air as well. Drink it properly like a human being. Okay. God, he's breaking all the rules already.

No, Tom! How'd you feel? Back to earth. But what a ride, eh? Back to the boring day today. Less colours down here, I can tell you that much. Less colours! Less colours.

Feels kind of grey when you're underwater. I've been telling you that much. Talk us through what you saw up there, Harry. Now that you've got the level head of a saver gentleman, what were you seeing up there? There was a lot of air. Yeah. And you could see the air.

Wow. And it was light. You should of the air wasn't light. The air was very light. But you sure it wasn't light that you were seeing. Who knows? That's the air. Wow. And it was light. You should the air wasn't light. The air was very light. But you sure it wasn't light that you were seeing. Who knows, that's the thing. Colors, air, light. What kind of colour did you see? Sand. Oh. I was in the desert of their boys. Yeah. Well, I shook hands with myself. Always been your dream. Just shake hands with myself. It's always been your dream. Just shake hands with yourself. There's something else. You boys are on your way up there now.

Keep it going. I mean, I don't... I don't feel anything really apart from... The pop from just a bit dry. Yeah, a bit of a dry mouth. A bit of a dry mouth. The weird thing is, I wouldn't normally have a glass of water during a podcast anyway, but...

No, I think I got into my own head a little bit. Now it's full of thoughts on it. Yeah. We flew I got into my own head a little bit. Now it's phoned, washed on it. Yeah. We flew too close to the sun. To the sea. Which one? To the earth. I mean, they're all there. They're all elements.

They're not the sun. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. We have learned a lot today. Earth. When are you off the Glastonbury, by the way? Do you think you're already there? I'm not drinking a drop of water until glass to my brothers and sisters.

So I don't do this to yourself. I know you think this is a great idea. It's just like when you decided not to do a poo for four weeks. Yeah. I've never seen so many colours. I know. Red. Bright yellow. Yeah, you put on a lot of weight and it was a problem. Dark colour.

Right. Guys, come and join me. Go and get yourselves a drink of water. Listen to me, I can't get yourself a drink of water. We flew. I can have a drink now, can I? We lived. This has been a while, that's the time to drink, boys.

Okay, I'll go and get a couple of glasses of water. That's a Barkey Drone, I don't know. Yeah, um, yeah. Parry Drone of the water. Let's go, let's go and get some water. Listen to me, I can't get myself a couple of glasses water. That's a Barkey Drone, I don't know. Yeah, um, yeah. Parry John of the water. Let's go, let's go and get some water. Listen to dear. Bottoms up. Has me day, be day, be day.

Let's socks only use your foot, but it'll be your feet. Has me day, be day. Gosh. Wow, EA. Guys. I think we took ourselves to some really out there places. It almost destroyed us, but we've come back whole. I was going to say stronger, but I think we've come back slightly weaker, but slightly smarter.

That was brave podcasting, I think. I found that, Tom, I found that incredibly brave. It was brave podcasting. We were doing so brave. Dangerous, so brave. We are so brave. Hashtag brave. Yeah, if you will.

And you could use those kind of terms when you were leaving this review on iTunes. Absolutely. After five stars. Just how brave you found us and inspiring and tell us about your, you know, level hydrate experience and what you saw when you were up there listening to us. Absolutely. We may read some of those out. And it may, yeah, it may well go into our book. Or to our book of bravery. Yeah, well, the spiritual guide that we might release at Christmas. It's a very good point. So if you do write a dry read, that's what it's called.

That's the title. That's the dry read. A dry read. And it's all printed on some paper. That's quite good actually. It's like the good book. A dry read. The dry read. It's not a, The thing about the word good is it's very positive. That's very, they do say that about the word good. It's a positive word. Dry a little less so. That's true. I tell you what won't be dry though.

There are many fantastic live recordings of Papi's fact sheer slam down that we'll be doing. Whoa, when will they be happening? Oh yeah, well we've got on the 30th of August the end of the road festival. Bang it. Midday. Oh, there's nothing like a festival pod. Everyone loves a festival crowd. They don't know who we are, we don't know who they are. It's gonna be a lot of fun. On the 8th of September we are going to be at the London Podcast Festival. So go to the London Podcast Festival

websites at King's Place and there should be more details about that, where to buy tickets, and all that kind of stuff. And that is where they line man. If you're around and about in London in July, I will be previewing you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you.

We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you.

We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. We're coming for He knows it. We're coming. We're coming for you. We're coming for you, man. If you're around and about in London in July, I will be previewing my Edinburgh Festival show, Pariochi.

So I'd check my Twitter account for that. It's at Tomos P, T-O-M-O-S-P, and I'll be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival performing Pariochi at 6 p.m. And Kafka for Kids, a show not just for kids at half past 12. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter and on Facebook and keep recommending this podcast to other people because we're getting new listeners all the time and we absolutely love it when people say,

I'd never heard of your podcast until recently and now I've listened to them all. We think you're absolutely insane but we love you very much. Yes. Recommendations really are our drink. They really are. The sweet water of our lives. Speaking. The sweet water of our lives.

Speaking of the sweet water of our lives, today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham, the bubbling stream beneath our knuckles. Oh, John, I'm feeling you are the stream. The thine knuckles. Corsham team. Corsham team. Everyone, go get yourselves a drink.

You've absolutely earned it Stay tuned for the patreon neighborhood watch roll call Cheers everyone. Bye Please be upstanding for the neighborhood watch patreon roll call He's never impartial, it's Daniel Marshall! He's got a lovely leg, it's Greg! I'd like to invite around for a Barbie, it's India Barbie. When you see him you'll never scowl and it's untanne gowland! He's never at a loss, it's Gil Cross!

He is unfortunately afflicted with so many of the seven deadly sins. Sloth. Aorus! But never greed! It's David Speed. Oh lovely. She has an eard.

I'd like to fill her in. On the information, it's David's speed. Oh, lovely. She has an urge. I'd like to fill her in. On the information, it's Cady Williams. LAUGHTER I don't know which part of that you thought rhymed, mate. But I've got noose feet. You're going to prison. LAUGHTER It's the lead singer of Jemiracoy.

It's JK. JK, you child in. It's JK! JK! You've chiled in. It's got time on his arms. LAUGHTER I'd love to go paddling in a rock pool with Mark Straddling. Let's all get underneath Chris Heath. You're going to prison. Don't kill the messenger.

It's Jessica, messenger. Please stop. Please don't kill her. Please don't kill her. He's always got his fiddle on. It's Ross Middleton. Don't be a whiner. Give her a cheer. We've got into this habit now of adding an extra line that doesn't need to be there. Don't be a whiner. Meet Emma Hiner. Give her a cheer. Give her a cheer, guys. If you see Emma Hiner, give her a lovely. I give her a chair guys. Seriously if you see Emma Hina give her a lovely chair She's loads of fun. It's Hannah Wilkinson Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes, four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.

A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.