Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Dog and Pony Show) S10E12

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Crosby salutes & Senior Pervo gets some filth going... that's work experiencePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Matthew here. Just a heads up. The episode you're about to hear was recorded pre-isolating, pre-social distancing, pre-the-world going absolutely insane. But to hear how we are coping with life under the coronavirus, then go to. Stay safe, stay inside, and enjoy the episode. Greetings, listening. Wow. That was a huge one from Tom today. I wasn't it, really, really strong. You know what, he'd load of energy.

I loved it, absolutely. I load to Tuesday morning. And we're right here inside the listeners' ear, can I? That is correct, yeah. You might give them happy Tuesday every day, every week. We're going to be, in fact, unfortunately, that's what that's everything we had. And listen, dear listener, we assume you're on

on some kind of, you know, you could be traveling into work. You could be on the treadmill. You could be walking down the road. You could be walking up some stairs. Absolutely right. If you're in public, have a glance around right now and touch the top of your head. Whoa, is anyone else touching the top of their head?

If they are, they are a listener dear too. Oh, I sell nice. Sharon, I wing look. I know, look away. Parry, that would work only if the podcast went out live. Yes, that's very true. That doesn't work quite as well. No, but you never know.

It could be someone adjusting their hat. It's worth a try though. Worth a try though, yeah, yeah. It is. And then maybe in the coming days, you might just see someone randomly put their hand on their head and you'll be like, I know what that is. Exactly.

Oh, they're in a sudden idea. They're looking around. So just keep your eye out for it. Put your hand on your head, but of course, do not touch your face. Crucially in these COVID-19 times. In these post-Me 2 times, don't touch your face. Crucially in these COVID-19 times. In these post-Me 2 times, don't touch your face. No, that's not what this is. Anyway, welcome to another episode of a Papi's Flatshare House meeting. It's a house meeting! We're meeting! We're meeting! Well, we cover the lock today.

We really do. It goes just, you know what? It goes to some places that I wasn't expecting to go. It goes to Mexico. It goes to the cut-up. It goes in the past. It goes to the thorny issue of work experience. I know that you're rearing it's ugly, hey. Finally, somebody's tackled the topic of work experience.

Yes. Not afraid to say, it's us. Well, we hope you enjoy it. If you do enjoy it, then show your support for the podcast. Get on board at the Patreon. Yes. We've got loads of lovely stuff there. Yes. Every Thursday we put out a bonus episode, it could be a bonus house meeting, it could be a bonus beef brothers. It could even be a jingle as a single or a outtakes from our live shows. It's always fun. It's always fun.

There's also drunk episodes, which we're doing. We're about to record one of those days. So excited. So excited. to get the pre-drinky excited. You get the jitters. You get the pre-drinky. No, the jitters is different. I've got the post-drinky. I've got the violent shake. I've had about 7am.

That's different. The tremors. I'm going to lie down. We're going to crack into this episode. Have fun. We'll see you on the other side with some more things to tell you. Yep! I've had a thought. I've got an issue.

I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting, meeting, meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting, meeting, meeting. Why on earth am I always way past it? How sweet it is. Who went my bed while I was sleeping?

This has a house meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? How sweet it is. Do you have anyone in your life that you don't know the name of but you speak to all the time? Because I've got the woman in the co-op, Mum. You only know by her code name. That's it.

Only by the code name Mum. Mum's the word. Are you ever a mummy or a daddy, or do you always go mum and dad? Always mum and dad. Yeah. There was a cut off point where Mum was like, you can't. I remember like, there was a moment where I went, tried to say Mum too early and Mum was like, you can't, I remember like there was a moment

where I went, tried to say Mum too early and she was like, no. Oh, right, I thought you'd be around. I'm still mumming. You're still mumming. I'm still mumming. Still mumming up until like, I don't know, like when the name I'm not in.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever gone first, have you ever gone first names to your parents? No. No, I know my friend, Tom, did it when hit,

when he was wearing the Simpsons. You were talking about your dad, Tom. No, no, no, no. No, no, no so he started calling his dad Jeff and not dad. And he still does. How was Jeff with that? Jeff likes it, I think. I mean, he is called Jeff. Because my wife's the same,

my wife calls her mom Thelma. They're very close and they look as she. She does, she. They've got a very strong bond, but she just. She never calls her mom. I never noticed that, but you're absolutely wrong. She also, like, I can ask my mom, or I can ask mom and then goes Thelma.

And it's like, I find that transition. You find that disconnect a little weird. Yeah, I've never known how to make that leap, but then I've got a similar thing with, like, say for example, my English teacher, which I'm still in touch with on Facebook, so I still call him Sir. Yes, that's interesting.

He still feels like Sir to me, so I'm always like, Sometimes the kids I talk get in touch and they will call me Sir and it feels weird. Or they'll call me Mr. Crosby. Yeah. And it feels a bit of a weird sort of thing, yeah. That's right. Well, it's interesting you say that about your dad though, because you call your dad a

double o' Dave. Double o' yeah. So actually, you've got a nickname for your dad. You've got a nickname that he's become double o' yeah. I call my dad Fat Boy actually. Yeah, that's all I call him. And I call him the Slayer. Yeah, of course.

Why do you call it the slayer? Because if you kill the rat, you'll the rat with a broom. What? Yeah, we have a rat in our kitchen. What rains? That's not the song to ask. The you'd be 40 songs about your dad. That's the slayer. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, we had this this rat in our kitchen. We couldn't get rid of it for ages and ages. It was like behind all the cupboards and everything So my parents had to empty the kitchen of all of its produce, right? And your mom liked to buy a lot of produce. She does. She loves a bargain. She loves a sort of three for two and she hates waste as well So nothing nothing goes in the bin everything has to be used right but yeah, and he Nothing goes in the bin, everything has to be used. Right. But yeah.

And he, so occasionally you'd hear it, scuttling around, you'd open a cupboard and see it like dart behind. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's quite fun being a right. Oh yeah. Like living in that life.

Well, I've seen Rattasooie. Weaving and diving and controlling chefs. Weaving. Weaving and diving and sit under a hat. But I mean, that would be a dream life for me. I mean, like, if I could drop a wrap hat. Eww, it's a round. Yeah, I think being a wrap must be a good lifestyle.

Most people are scared of you. Yeah, you're tough. You're small. You're small, but you're small, but you have high status. Like, you scare these big things that are supposed to be smarter than you and stuff, but you scare the shit out of them. That must feel amazing. Could a dog though kill a rat?

Like, if a dog saw a rat, it would run after it and try and bite it, right? Yeah. It would, wouldn't it? Yeah, definitely. So you wouldn't want to, you wouldn't want to fuck with the wrong animal. Same with cats, obviously. Rat would, yeah, what a cat. What a cat killer rat. What a cat killer rat. What a cat killer rat mate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So if you're picking an animal, would you would you lead with that? Would I if I had to pick any animal to be? Yeah. We've got one. Sorry, we've got one. No, this is this is my question. We'll get that. That's never the point.

The point is never the point. We'll get back to that's never the point. The point is never the point, we'll get back to the car in a minute. Because I've got to pick up some toilet rocks. But if I had to pick an animal to be, I would want one. Hang on, this feels like that's gone very wide, doesn't it? It's true. Are you going to be a, are you in the same vicinity? Like, personally, I'd be a Pumer in the Sahara.

We got like, would you be? I don't know, we could be in the Sahara. That we could see very soon. Can't I just watch me look then, like, going, Pumer's not living the Sahara? Okay. It was very quick there, listen up. But it was strong.

I mean, like, it's just a living in the same vicinity that you live in. Right. Or in the same house. Wait, any animal anywhere I reckon, but then there's that two broad. Yeah, it's two broad. Any animal that could... That's two broad. Just a...

Any animal that could feed me, get into your kitchen. You've still got to live in the same area that you're in. You've got to use the same kitchen. Yeah. You've got to use the same kitchen. We're back to Rata Turing. Yeah. You've got to fit under a chef's hat.

That's the only rule. OK, you give me any animal you like. You've got to fit without detection under a chef's hat. What animal are you going for? This is not a good game. What? Hang on, so I've got to call it a TV. TV too, because I'm pitching it off for now.

Yeah, so you live in the same area. Yeah. You can't live five miles away from your current home, what animal are you going to be? Peregrine Falcon. Strong? Yeah. Super fast. They rats.

They all live on the side of the motorways, don't they? Love it. Is there, is there, there yes, you know why? dog in Peragon forgan loves to dog on their shack in Gillian tail forth. I'm having a great old time But would a falcon dog a cat? Falcon dog a cat now Oh yeah, brother Would you like to see Okay

This is how we play are we to my white animals who want to see fuck you? Yeah, I mean now This is better than under a chef's hat a cat having sex with a dog That's the end of the question. I mean, you think fair play. You think fair play. You're being like, you're stepping up, you're stepping up.

You're stepping up, you're stepping up. It's a bit like when there's a kid in your 70s dating someone in your 11, you're like, fair play. Oh my god. Fair play, Stevie. I got one. Where did you go?

7 to 11. Yeah. Is that not, did that ever happen to your school? I told you, I told you about Stevie. Oh Stevie. Bleed the front. I've got to hit the front. I've got to hit the front. Yeah. Is that not, did that ever happen to your school? I told you, I told you about Stevie. Oh Stevie. Bleed the front. I've got to keep the front. I've got to keep the front.

No, no, no. He's too cool to listen to podcasts. No, but you know what? He's got friends who are not in prison. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We mad to take a look at Sean Carter this. Oh God, I saw you in a panic attack there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've been talking about my man. You've been talking on your podcast about my man. We, I mean all I'm saying is that he was in year 7, he was, he was representing. He was going out with someone in year 11. Wow. He was doing all right. I mean, she was doing very badly. Okay.

So what would you say to a cat? Yeah. You know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? No, no. Just over. We've got. You're absolutely right, Barry.

We've got to move the conversation on, but I cannot accept that as the next. That's the next. Yeah. What would I say to a cat? I mean, I say a lot to my hello. Do you know what? I say a lot to consider my kitchen. Oh, of course, my car. Of course, my brother. Of course, my brother a lot to my hello. Do you know what? I say a lot to cosmo. No, my kitchen.

Oh, cosmo. If cosmo brought a little terrier home and said. That's so that awkward for you as a parent. Yeah, so I actually wish I'd get. Number one, I'd be delighted if I can't talk. Number two, I think, is this really what's best for you? You're only small. It would be cool if cats could bring home the person

I was shagging to me. Shake you by the poor and ask for your permission. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, because obviously the cats go around and about, does your cat go around and about? No. Obviously, cats go around and about. Does your cat? No do list that. I don't know much about cats. Can I just say it? I don't know. I don't know. Let's go round and about cats. I don't normally get offended, but are you calling Cosmos like?

I'm just saying. Listen, I said if I was a Peregrine Falker, and I'd be a slag, and I'm allowed to say that, Cosmos was not here to defend herself, right? I'm fine wrong with it though. Coca wants to go out and about. Cats go out and about, right? Surely one of the best things about being a cat is you go out and about. Yeah. That's one of the highlights of about, right? Surely one of the best things about being a cat

is you go at and about. Yeah. That's one of the highlights of that. That was one of the best things about the TV show Top Cat. He's constantly out and about. He's constantly out. And if he's not out, he's about. Sounds like Mickey Flanagan.

LAUGHTER I think I may be confusing Top Cat. OK. I'm going about about. I'm maybe confusing top cat with Mickey Fannigan. Can I ask you a question? Go on. What would you say to Mickey Fannigan?

I'd say, you got cat. You got cat. You got cat. It's happy to be tweeting. It's happy to be tweeting. I'll be tweeting. Oh, yeah. Oh, gone. Gone, parring... Oh, um... Oh god, got a pattern.

Oh god. Um... Cats do seem to be like... God. Well, they have like a night life and, you know, like, you think they have it more. They're like a... I don't want to get murky, but they're like... They're like...

I'm gonna get murky about it. I want to get murky, but they're out of it. I'm not gonna get murky about it. I want to get murky about it. They do, aren't they? They're out and about. They're off the leash in a way that dogs literally are on, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's because you don't put a leash on a cat unless you're a weird neighbor.

They're literally off the leash. Okay. So, like, you don't let dogs go out at night and go, like, go and make friends and then pop back in the morning. It's a good point, but cats do, don't open, you know, let dogs go out at night and go like, go and make friends and then pop back in the morning. It's a good point, but cats do, don't they? Cats. Yeah, some.

Homey pigeons. A lot of cats. Off they go. Paragraphoc. Paragraphoc. They're big three. They're big three. The big sexy three.

But it's like, that's kind of, that's the gist of being a cat, is you have a certain degree of freedom. You've got, you've got, you don't have when you were a dog. You've got freedom of the city. If you were a dog. You've got freedom of the city. If you're a pet, you've got keys to the, you've got keys to the kingdom, exactly, yeah.

You're a dog living with a cat. Yeah. You're looking at the cat going, you sod. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, be with the fucking the big one, on the end of some in. I can sniff, that's about it, so I can put down touch. You know what I mean? And the cats are like, the cats are like an older brother. And the dogs are like a teenager.

And the dogs are going, is it any wonder, I'm fucking the furniture? Yeah, exactly. Because you know, you get to go out. And also, not only you get to go out, you get Because you know, you get to go out. Yeah. And also, not only you get to go out, you get to go out, you can go about. You get to go out, you get to go about.

When you come back from going out and about, you come back and you're sharp claws, scratch the fuck out of the thing, I'm fucking. You know what, you scratch it, say. That's another one. Another one on my tally. Listen, I talked about fucking a peach on a bonus podcaster, right? Sorry. Most people don't know about that. Don't go

horny on main. That's not horny on main. Let's go back to sort of like cats fucking. Yeah. Can I just say if you'd like to hear of course the story would be fucking a peach. What an awful advert that is. That's not how to sell the peach. Patreon.com forward slash package flat share. But let's get back to talking about what it must be like to see a cat and a dog going at it. No, no, no, no, no, what I'm saying is let's keep it clean and talk about. Don't you all can't go out and about?

No, not loud. No, because she is an exotic short hair and they're liable to be nicked. So yeah, people want to nick the exotic short hair and they're liable to be nicked. So, yeah, people wanna nick the exotic short hairs. So we can't really, we let her out in the back garden, she has a lovely play in the back garden with us. So she's not about, basically. She's not about, she goes out. She's off the market.

But not about, yeah. Sorry other cats who are listening, Cosmos, off. Yeah. Menu. Why'd you make a short of menu? That's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, you know, I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. Patreon, okay? That wasn't my dream meal, let me just say that. That's why he wasn't invited on off menu, I can tell you that. And Jeannie didn't really went off menu. That's a real beach goblet. It's not popper, it's not in the state. It's not popper bombs or bread or a little bit of a beach shacking. So it cuts the horny, it cuts the hornyest creature around. No, you are, for the sad of it.

The hornyest creature around. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I your out. I'm just how he's out and about. You know, I can't say that to row. They're roaming the night, aren't they? It's like, that's the exciting time. I mean, go back to Racky. But then, hold on though, hello. Took them out, rowing the night and going out.

Yeah. Foxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the foxes. Oh, the foxes, the foxes. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, That's good actually. Sorry. Sorry. Halfway through your oppression of a fox shag, and I didn't impression of a gibbon. It's a fox shag in the gibbon, but it got me off the most. Yeah, yeah.

There's something in, you know. Are you familiar with the... Sign of a fox shag. Apparently not. I was familiar with the sign of a Fox show? Apparently not. No, I was familiar with the Dog and Pony show. The Dog and Pony show. No, the Dog and Pony show. The image in my head there.

Where they would say it's not a dog going up a pony. Yeah, because fair play to them. Yeah, that is year seven with the upper sixth. If you went to Tijuana, way to tier, if you went to tier one, way back when down Mexico way, right? If you went, you know, back in back when tears, is this real or is this a playground? Is this hotel California? This is real.

No, this is real, man. But you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. No, this is true. The image will never leave your head. It was one of the things that they used to do. They will be traveling dog and pony show where they would get a dog and a pony to have sex

and all the people in the show up and in the village and everyone pay their money and they'd go into a little tent and a dog and a pony would shag and then everyone would, you know, golly, say, I've seen a dog and pony. There's someone who would have paid for that show and would still still as an old adentiment be gained kids these days. Kids these days and it's a

whole sum stuff like what you used to do. With this napchat. Very impressed by your tier one action. It's like we were there. Do you know what? It really put me in mind of that Gomez song. No, it's like we were there. Do you know what? It really put me in mind of that Gomez song. LAUGHTER You are an anywhere in your world. I tell you where I went, to the Dog and Pony show, mate.

Oh, the way to the Dog and Pony show. And if you're not on board with the Gomez reference, then you really are listening to the wrong podcast. I tell you what, we've done Roland Ratt. Also, guys, you're listening to the wrong podcast. Have you heard of him off many? I like to think the romantic in me likes to think that with the dog and pony show, a guy stumbled on a dog and pony who were already in love and said, I'm taking you on the road guys, as opposed to training a

dog to go at a pony. Sadly, I think the reality is dark and awful. Although, well, I'm glad I brought it up anyway. Sorry, Clarky. I mean, maybe they did. To even have the idea, you'd think you'd probably see it first, maybe. Oh, hopefully. Hopefully you saw a dog fuck a pony first. At the very least, we hope that that's happened to you. LAUGHTER

I hope you, I hope you I hope guys this was a twisted dream of yours. You don't want to you know you don't want to see the dog and pony show from the imagination of saying your pervo or whatever his name would be he's running the dog. I said your We tried the second great is show man The worst show man with Ron Perlman One Perlman plays Senua Perlman? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not bad, isn't it? This isn't a bad idea actually

I mean, it's one of our best It's one of our best ideas So we've got this Or Senua Perlman Senua Perlman had no choice He goes to his career's interview. What's your name? Send your pervo.

What do you want to be? Well, a dream of being a dentist. No, there's a mate. You have to get out of the back. There's a fucking abode out there. With that, they're accents. So can I just ask another question of send your pervo?

Why are you sending your, why are you wearing of senior Perva? Why are you senior? Why are you wearing a chef's hat? Oh, I never... I've never been to a dentist before, I thought this is how they leave. What time did that chef's hat? Oh my god, it's a dog and pony control. He does, he does. He turns out, just in your pervo, just to pour in the whole game,

the dog and the pony really were, were the pervers behind it all. Anyway, we put that to bed. We put that to bed. We put that to bed. The Disney film you'll never see. Yeah, great songs, I could imagine some fantastic songs. Ooh.

This is me, you don't wanna see that version of this is me, do you? Well, you know, kind of accept people, but who they are. You have to accept people. And if someone wants to have sex with a dog, is that the message of the film? Of the great show, man. The second great show. The second great show, man.

The second great show. Maybe the message of that film is like, yeah, have to accept people, but not everything. Yeah. It's a bit like the lady in the tramp scene. Ron Pullman's there playing the old. That's my favourite things. Yeah, to mash up. Isn't it better not change the song? It's one, the full of beer. Yeah, that's the one. They're not chasing us on this wonderful Bear then There you go. Yes, she's in your life.

She's in my life. She's in my week. In your week. I do see her a lot, yeah. And we always have a chat and no name, Bunch. Never asked. No, she's not, she's not working for the cop. She's a woman who's stuck.

The plot. She hangs out in the cop. She hangs out in the cop. Quite a lot. She's often sitting there reading the paper at the, just by the paper stall. She just hangs out in the co-op, yeah. Sitting down. She'll often be sitting on maybe like,

if they've got a stack of like crates of Coke, she'll sit on that and show me the paper. She's a local eccentric. She's a local eccentric, yeah. A caricter. Did you ever have a shop you hung out in when you were young? Yes. What was your shop?

Time track, which was the comic book shop in Bromley High Street. I used to, I hung out in there until eventually they sort of gave me a job. Would you go down there on your own? Yes. And I would know the staff, so I'd hang out with the staff. Right. Jim and Rob, lovely guys. So, I'll say.

Well, my next question was going to be, did they hate you being there, but this obviously sounds like you got a lie. They probably did, actually. Yeah, I mean, they there, but this obviously sounds like you got a lie. They probably, yeah, I mean, they can I shock you. Yeah, Jim was a dog. The robbers of pony. And Matthew, the dogging periguin falcon was a lover. I absolutely, I was not Steve. Now I, um, yes, so what was your shop that you're so? I was not Steve. Now, I, um, yes.

So, what was your shop that you were selling? A video shop classic. Yeah, a lot more stuff. And, uh, and also there was a, uh, there was a record shop in town that my friend did a, uh, did work experience in and I went in every day because I was on, uh, study leave whenever the, like, so I got like a chance.

Like, my glides. Not that one. It was all these, to remember all these. Yes. It's like more of a second-hand shop. Yes. And they definitely hated me in there. Why do they hate you?

Because you were like, was this just for them? I'd just gone into it. Yeah, was this just for the week where you were, mate, it was a work of film. Didn't feel welcome, come after that. Did they not hate you because you're always going, could we put that sting record on? No, they love me because I love that.

They appreciate good music. Quick round of way, where did you do work experience? Sure. Work experience. It was fucking great, wasn't it? It was like you were starting to get to an advert then. Work experience. Do you want to experience of work, then try work experience?

Can you put a patent and wrangle a pony? And do work experience with me. Say so. You're a perv. Work experience. I know I tend to do the pony under my hat. Work experience is a great thing, right? Work experience was good, yeah.

It feels like there's more to have with work experience. Okay, do you want to go back? Tom, Tom, what do you mean is, I'm currently unemployed and have you got any work? Dear listener, if you, I'd like to do. I'd like to pay experience if that's okay. But what a buzz to suddenly be in a real job. It's been a movie where a kid does work experience

and turns out to be like Steve Jobs. Oh. In his kind of, it's like nails it. And by the time he goes back to school, it's like it's two weeks. And by the time he goes back to school, he has kind of like, he's CEO. And then he gives it all up.

It kind of happens. It's sort of happens a bit in big. And then at the end, it's not quite. No, no, it's like, yeah, no, it's like, with he is still a kid kind of thing. Right, okay, so he's like, he goes and gets a sort of job, like a little internship or something.

Yeah, and then he rises rapidly through the ranks. I mean, it's impossible. I mean, I love that. It's kind of, maybe you engineer a King Ralph situation. I don't know. Everyone in the company dies. Yeah, something like that. I think it's pretty good. It's kind of, you maybe engineer a king Ralph situation. I don't know. Everyone in the company dies. Yeah, something like that. Yes.

They put this on the company then. When they show up, they give it to the guy doing business. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no portfolio. Yeah, and then as he's leaving the building, it very only turns round to the wrong doors and he says, well, that's a work experience. That's not a good last line actually. It's just a knit to it in the butter and it does. Well, that's a work experience for you. That's my experience at work experience. That's my idea for every last line of any film.

The title of the film, that. The title of the film. That's the top fiction world, yeah. Well, that's the Titanic, I guess. Well, that's the Titanic, I guess, would be a great end to that movie. That old woman just says it. Yeah, well, that's the Titanic, I guess. Yeah, I like the idea of him saying, well, that's working experience.

And sort of steps out of the revolving doors of the big towel block. Yeah. Looks up, sees his name, because obviously his name's going to be like, like, Trump towels, cross the building. I'm just going to say, like, kid or whatever. Kid towers. Yeah, kid towers, yeah. His name's Kid Tower.

His name's Kid Tower. Kid Tower is his own work experience. This is pitchen itself. This is good. And then as, at the moment, like, so he comes out of the revolving doors, he looks, he looks across was crossing the street looks over the road guys. Well, that's work experience and the building collapses Just the building collapses, you know bricks and mortar fly every a brick hits him on the back of the head He dies Oliver Stone directing Oliver Stone directs, but you don't know until the end. It's all of a stone It's a comment on capitalism. It's kind of like you know I've got like always 80s films. All those 80s films. Justification is amazing. It's a comment on capitalism.

Don't worry about it. Don't think too much about it. It's a comment on what it's going to make and good or bad. I don't think too much about it. That's what it's about capitalism. That's working. That's working. Who'd also be a panel show? Yeah. Or a game show, couldn't it? I mean, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry know what, in that time I said, if you thought of an ITV too, and suddenly a dynasty appears, that's what ITV is. BBC News? No, not BBC News. BBC Radio One. You are closer.

Local radio. No. Radio three. Local radio. No. Radio T? No. Radio 3. It wasn't radio. Hello. You were TV centre. I was working television centre, yeah.

Bloody hell. Bloody hell. But it was. Holy crap. This is proper work experience. Yeah, it was good. It was such a good job that they didn't, it was a fortnight's work, but they gave it to sort of four kids.

So me and my friend Paul. And you all had to stun each other so that's where it becomes. Was that the news? You're not going to believe it's my my ed is, you edwards. Yeah, so no, they gave it to two of us for a week and then two of us for the second week because it was such a good placement. But it was in the BBC sound archive. What? Really exciting. This thing told clips. No, it was for, is placement. But it was in the BBC sound archive. What? Really exciting.

This thing told Clips. No, it was for... Is that what you found out about the Dog and Pony show? That's yeah. You do know? From Tijuana, where the locals are going absolutely balihub for the latest craze. It was an old Paffay News reel, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. No, it was, for example, they wanted, this is mad, but for example, they wanted to use a bit of music on a TV show they would Send a message up to this department who would then go and find a CD of it But the CD in an envelope take it down to the edit suite that would then use it rather than just have it all So your job looking for the CD? Yeah, I was just it was basically because I'd worked in Romney Central Library, so they were like oh you you'll know how to use the You'll know how to use the... The shelf, yeah.

You'll know the alphabet. Yeah. I have a feeling it was a different code though, but they were like, fine, you can do that. Did you have to get sting, CDs of sting? Never got a CD of sting, no. I did see some proper top cele saw some proper tops of labs though. Did you?

Yeah, go on. So it was around the time when the Friday night armistice was on. And so one time I walked down the corridor when Bayonum, Inuchi and Schneider were walking the other way. That was pretty exciting. That was pretty exciting. Just anything to him. No, no, no.

But they were, you know, something I think, you know, when we're walking around the corridors of power, you know, I sort of think, imagine if, you know, a young kid walked past us and saw the three of us chatting away, you know, cogitating on our ideas. Listen to the idea. They must go up, so you know. Yeah. Listen to the idea, listen, if you ever see us, the three of us together, talking through our ideas.

Yeah. Exactly, yeah. Leave us the fuck alone. Exactly. We might be fuck alone. Exactly. We might be onto something. We might be onto something. If you ever see us leaving, you're going to be on a pony towards the tent. We're going to be on a pony towards the tent.

Please intervene. Yeah, I could really have gone to Salt. It's right. Clarke for work experience. What do you see him doing? Okay, where do you see him? Place him. Okay, where do I place him?

He's 15. He's wearing his dad's suit. Did you wear a suit for a glasses? I see. Oh, I was about to say. I went, were you working in an office? No. Were you working?

No suits where he went. No, okay. Retail. No. So no uniform. Were you down a mine? Were you slightly confusing? Well, keep going.

Okay. Interesting. It's slightly confusing. You've done all the carrot that it's confusing. Was it confusing? Would it be confusing to everybody? Was it confusing to you? Was it confusing to you? No, it's just, well, everything's confusing to me.

What are we talking about? You're fine. Confusing. It was in another education establishment. Right. You were working. You stay in school. Yeah, I just thought, why is a school empty? Clark, did they move you back a year?

Is that what you're saying? Because that's not a work experience, mate. Okay, I'm going to be doing work experience for a year. I'm going to go and work with the year-rates. It's very important. It's funny because when you were in year seven, you were dating the girl in your life. That's because they'd moved you back from your life. I was older than her at that point.

It was another educational establishment. Yes. You weren't teaching at university were you? Well, it was a college. Were you working at a college? It was at the university, yeah. It was at the university and you were working at... In the library? No. In the canteen.

No. As a janitor caretaker. No. Upon the roof. Lab technician. I put the roof. Taking box shots. Take like a sniper.

We used sniper. We used sniper, people. We used to put the roof, taking box shots. I'm like a sniper. Who's you as sniper, people? We're up on the roof of the unit. We are the roof team. They can't move in me back. I've been up on the roof for the unit for two weeks. Okay. Where I see. Okay, go on.

We were chimney sweeps. I was close to the roof. I was in the attic. I was in the apartment. Oh, of course you were shadowing the life model. I don't know about that. There was a life model when I was there. Wow, per dying. Fill your boots.

Take your boots off as though it's like a funnily nut. Fill your boots. Oh, a three-year-nighter. That's something special, isn't it? Yeah. Getting to see a bit of a nudie. Yeah. What was the life model like?

Describe them. Was it Harry? No. No, I've been a life model. I thought it was what I'm saying, Harry. You're not even describing to me. Most life models tend to be like mid-laid slightly larger you know, like larger to give like folds and interesting, you know, like it's kind of like a, it's not necessarily a pervies situation, unless I'm there.

Yeah, going, feeling a bit just, but doing worst life model ever, can you beat up a dogging? Can you stop moving? Yeah, one part of you in particular, can you stop filling your boots? I'm trying to pay you. Keep knocking the paint part over. I'm trying to keep this party still. Oh my god.

How sweet it, sweet it, sweet it. What's the worst thing you've considered eating? How sweet it. All right, Pary, what was your work experience then, man? Yeah, just very quick, so you were, you were shattering me. No, no, no, no. No, I'm moving the conversation.

I'm moving the conversation. Very quickly. This is quite a lot of stuff. Please stop. Yeah, shut up in like the art teacher. Oh, OK. At the uni. Very nice.

Yeah. Befriending art students at the future? No. I can't remember. I can't remember really making it in the conversation with anyone. Did you have to like clean the paint pots and stuff? Yeah, I had to do a bit of that and also she made me a canvas and I got to make a couple of comevases

and stuff like that. It was cool. Pretty good. It was not bad at all. Pretty exciting. It was pretty good. Harry, what was your one? Well, tell me, answer me this.

What would you say me doing? I'm getting another podcast. Another more successful podcast. Another podcast. Another great podcast. I'm dropping the video. I'm dropping the video. It's a mention of them. Big shout out to answer me this. So what would I see you doing?

Oh, you had to be in the theater. Had to be the theater. Mm. Was it? Sunday. Was it in the theater? No, it wasn't at all. I was in a suit.

War suit. You were a suit, first click. OK, a suit or suit. You wore a suit? So that's clear. Okay, so you were working, you were suited, and you were booted, and you filled your boots. I got my boots. Yeah, you filled your boots. Was a life model. So you were in a suit, were you?

Wasn't in the theatre. I applied to the Big Breakfast. Did you? Did you? It was. Oh, amazing. That was my million to one shot was to go into the box. That would have been so good. Yeah, did that get that? What era was Big Breakfast that been, Vaughny?

I guess it must have been, yeah. Did I just apply to Chris Evans' radio on Breakfast Show? All right. Well, that might be a big breakfast, I don't know. No, no, it would be a different time, different time. So yeah, I think I replied to Chris Evans' radio on Breakfast Show. Big Breakfast. And your third option.

Yes. Your reserve place was what? Yes. I was on the reporter's desk at the Express and Star. Not bad, actually. Journalism. Yes. Journalism.

You were a jogging hack. Yes, absolutely. Did you have one of those Trilby hats with the bits of paper in the side? Up there I did. Up on my head. Yeah, that's where you keep your hand, Nully. Whereas when you're a lot of followers, you can't have any very different questions. But that was to protect the

modesty of some of the older... It was just acting on the sources. Exactly. Did you get a big scoop? I... It was working in the ice cream parlour. I got articles printing, the expressors staff, with Baiton Power in parlors. I got articles printing the expressors' staff. Did you? Yeah, with Byton Power in the name. I've got a couple of things. Did you?

Because you know what? We have had reviews written in the expressors' staff, and they seem like they were written by someone who was not in the internet. In fact, when we last played Wolverhampton, the headline was, because Ben and I from Wolverhampton, the headline was, Friends Return to City.

Yes. And it was a picture of Ben and I. Wolverhampton, the headline was, Friends Return to City. Yes. And it was a picture of Ben and I. Returning to the city. One of us stood on a chair. Oh yeah. So yeah. We used to be in the street. Yeah.

Two. And then the headline was, Friends Return to City. Two friends who are returning to Wolverhampton. And the strapline was, the subheading was, Friends Return to city, and this time they brought a chair. Sorry, it was big news for all of our homes. Because up to that point, chairs

had not even introduced in around 2015, haven't they? It's quite the same that they thought a chair would be more interesting to photograph than you. I've heard members. Well, there's three of us. Yeah, but, you know, we have got this chair. We're using two half of all, brother? Just put the chairs, P.A. has actually been breathing out

next quite a lot lately. And if you wouldn't mind. So yeah, so I did that. So I did that. A journalist. And again, surely there's something in work experience guy. He gets the big scoop. He doesn't become CEO.

He goes suddenly he's like under cover, Janice. Roger Cook. Oh, it's leverson inquiry type stuff. Yeah, in there he cracks the code. He realises the code, but like he cracks the case. He realises that there's phone hacking and all that kind of bullshit.

Yeah, love it. He reveals on the back streets of Wolverhampton, senior perv, I was playing his trade. He busts that ring wide open. Oh, dear, so much to do that. That's when the pony's going up to the dog. LAUGHTER Where do you get the orders, everything, isn't it, really, with that show? The pony adult show, you don't want to sing.

That's the skin you blow. Sheepers. So anyway, you were in the co-op. Oh yeah, I should finish the story. I should know really. So I see her all the time and the other day, she was standing on the doorway and I said, oh, hey, how's it going? She said, oh, yeah, yeah, it's good. I said, it's lovely moon tonight, isn't it?

I love the moon pointed up at the moon and she went, yeah, she was saluted. And so I said, yeah, yeah, all right. We both saluted the moon. And then she said, yeah, yeah, all right. We both saluted the moon. And then she said, another time. And I said, yeah, all right. Saluted it. Twice. And then in the, then she said, once more.

Sorry, three salutes of the moon. Three salutes. And she said, worth a shot, isn't it? And I don't know what that means. I love it. It's worth a shot, isn't it? I don't know what that means. I love it. It's worth a shot, isn't it? Three-saleaks to the moon. It's like a thing that you like.

Oh, if you salute the moon, you get a... You get good wishes. A spoon. Yeah, just something like that. I mean, I'd have to salute the moon. You get a spoon, yeah. Clarke, where's this vocal dexterity of an A-bo? What's wrong with you?

Where's your A-game when we get into the role cause mate? Because you've never been so good. Well listen, if we ever have a Mr. Salute the Moon join our Patreon, then we've got to get it to Kalki. Yeah, absolutely. And if we ever have a senior pervote join our Patreon, we've got to give the name to the police. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Well, I'll hand it into the police. Then we'll have a look at the policeman. Realise, not sergeant. He's a 13-year-old kid. And as he walks off into the cell, he turns around and says, that's work experience. And the police station explodes. I've said it once before, but it bears a release. How we go. How we go, listen to the deer. How we go.

How we go, we're off away from the house meeting. So, goodbye house meeting. Hello, producer Corsham, with her tale of work experience. Were you producing a podcast? No, they didn't exist. Backstage of a radio show. Podcast didn't exist. I don't think so.

Is that because we had to invent them? Yeah, you're very nice. What was that? So what did you do then? Just hold headphones with an empty socket and just pull it in your hand. I think sound existed. Oh, OK. OK.

Maybe. I didn't know about it at the time sound. Sure, sure. Maybe you were yet to learn. It was the first time you encountered sounds. And again, your love affair with sound. Probably sort of 2012. Yeah, yeah, it was a big, it was good news. Olympic ear.

Danny Boyle. Danny Boyle brought the sound. Danny Boyle brought the sound. Danny Boyle brought the sound. It's just sound to so many of us. Oh yeah, we were expecting it. Turned it up. Like, it was on you. I was like, that looks interesting.

What's it sound like? That's how Beckham want to vote. That's the sign of Beckham on a boat. That's the queen falling out of the helicopter or something. Yeah. Yeah. Spike queen.

Spike queen. Spike queen. Spike, Spike, everybody. Well, so what did you do as a work experience? Well, I was saying I moved school from a school. What, that's extreme work experience? I hope that he did, like, I'm civiler to my own. I went from a school that didn't do work experience to one that did.

Of course. And right at the time where I had to have applied like a couple of weeks beforehand. You got to get in and we work together. Yeah, so it was a panic and my neighbour owned a hairdresser, so I worked there. Off you go. Now you cut all of my hairs. She cuts all of them. Then my sister, she cut... You cut my hair's pleats. I've got two young assistants who both copied. They went to the same hairdressers, like two years later and seven years later. What?

And my younger sister still works at the hairdressers, so there we go. Oh, so it took. So it went out. Yeah, yeah, they stuck about. Did they... She makes perfect. Did they get you doing hair washing? Yeah. Did you do you doing hair washing?

Yeah. Did you do that? Yeah, all the massage. Did you? Learning thing. And you don't put lots of shampoo in, you put in two tiny amounts. You do two washes. That's right, you're supposed to wash it. If you wash your hair, you're supposed to do twice. It's like a 10-pence piece worth amount once. 10-pence is worth the shampoo.

And then, yeah. How much is that in volume of shampoo? Two bottles. It was cheap shampoo. Yeah. It's one of the out to use it twice. Yeah. And it's not supposed to lava the first time and the second time we'll cause great lava. That's right. This is great information. Listen Adia, if you go to the patron and you join the $25 tier then Emma Corsham will come around your house and wash your hair twice. We haven't confirmed that yet with Emma Corsham but we're gonna give it a go. 30 pound a month for the conditioning as well. I do the hair conditioning. You have to up the tier slightly, yeah.

It might be cheaper just to go to your hairdressers. Should we do a $100 a month category on the Patreon? And it's just... You can't even get into the other stuff. You go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on music of your choice. Yes. Tom Perry writes it up as a report and Clarky paints it. And then they have to edit the episode for me. Yes, that's all so true, yeah, yeah. They've got to record and edit the episode. All of our work experience skills in one experience. That's not a bad idea. It's actually better than the other tiers, which has it should be for $100. Yeah, absolutely. And then at the end, I'll promise toward you a t-shirt.

They'll be arriving three years' time. Oh yeah, I want to talk to you about the t-shirts. I know you did. I'm working on it guys. So last time we spoke, which was a week ago, you said, I'm ordering them tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow's come and gone. Where are we?

Tomorrow's still tomorrow, as far as I'm concerned. All right, James Bond, come on. Let's talk about, are we going to get these T-shirts? Yes, tomorrow. You've got the design. Another day. Yeah, I'm on it. You're on the design.

I'm on the design. Yeah, we are. And it's strong stuff. It's a very good design. They're incoming. They're incoming. They are. They are.

Cool. I trust you. I trust you. What else do we need? Salam. Rev are cool. All right. I tried you. I tried you. What else do we need? Tell them? Review on iTunes? Yes. Leave us a review on iTunes. Join the Patreon. Five stars should do it. Five stars should do it. I'll do it. A hundred dollars should do it. Join the Patreon. And also, if you go into producer Corsian's sister's hairdressers and say, I'm a listener, you have to say, I'm a listener, then she will look at you strangely.

And charge you extra £5. So bad, I didn't want that late. Well, this episode was produced and quaffed by Emma Corsham. It was indeed. Boy, I don't know. Don't be looking good. Quarkooshed! Corshamed!

Quarkooshed them team twice. LAUGHTER Stay tuned for the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. Cheers everyone. Bye! Ladies and gentlemen, if you could be so kind. I'm sorry to interrupt you. Please, please, please. Please, I'm really sorry to interrupt you.

Oh, there. Can I get your attention? Yes. Can I get your attention? Yes. Of course. Can I? Do you mind? Yes, there. Can I get your attention? Yes. Can I get your attention? Yes. Of course. Can I? Do you mind? Yes, sir.

You've got my attention. I would love it if you could just be upstanding. I know that that is an in pertinence. It's an imposition. It's an imposition. It's an imposition. How dare you? I can't be upstanding with my needs.

I just thought you'd be too young. I'm about yours. You're pertinent. Listen, how dare you please be upstanding? Oh, dear. Please be upstanding. Please be upstanding because it is this week's neighborhood watch. Please be upstanding. For this week's neighborhood watch, Patreon, Roll Call. Good luck everyone. Please, how dare you. Please, how dare you! Please, how dare you!

I cannot apologise enough for this. Oh, let me tell you now. What's the most interesting thing? I've just seen someone. Oh, no. They've not been allowed back to the place. How dare they! I'm so sorry. How dare they? I'm very dead. Were they in pertinence? It was a dream pertinence.

It was a dream pertinence. It was a dream pertinence. I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm

really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm not getting my witness in, did you? I wish I was just for going out there. How dare he? Is he buying a house?

He was buying a house. He's all the best in our body. I don't know if I'm in a position. I'm in position, I'm in position, I'm in position. Sorry, you okay? You seem in terrible state. I'm rather upset. Oh God.

How dare you be upset? God, it's absolutely shocking. What a good person it is. It's pertid me right now. I'm so upset. Oh god. How dare you be upset? God, it's absolutely shocking. What have you been hurting and stupid? It's hurted me right now. It's like in town. It's hurted me right now. Oh, you're very upset. Look with her.

Oh god. Yes. Yes. Yes. Keep that ball again. Keep it going. Don't lose momentum now, Clarkie. I'm just hoping if I say, there's enough words

that maybe one of them would just rhyme right here. That is an interesting method. It hasn't worked yet. It's been a year doing this, never once. Very important. Oh, how dare you. Oh, god. You never get who I saw.

I'm trying. I'm trying to guess. I'll give it a go. 20 questions. And if it rhymes, will you just go with it? That's absolutely right. Okay, so you've just seen. Well, come on.

Help us out. Did you? Throw us a bone in a clucky. Thankfully, she'd, she was in a good mood. Oh, really? She'd just won. It was her good friend, Alison. Do you want to talk to us? What the fuck are you on about?

Absolutely for the old time. Oh dear, you have to take a steepest time. Oh, she's sorry for my birthday. She just won. She just won. Alison. Okay, so sorry. Oh, it's okay.

Oh, it's okay. Because I get more count on that one. She's just kidding. Oh, we're back. Alice on okay Okay Okay, okay Oh, I'm back Oh, no, I'm so shocked Oh, no, I can't begin to tell you what happened I don't know My dick's on the floor I've popped in Alice

It's still attached to your ass Because it's so dark. But then someone came along and trawled on it. Oh, dear. That man's name was Anthony Clark. He's got a heavy tread. He's telling you something. Oh, dear.

Yes, it's terrible. I can see the tread marks in it. I don't want to do about that. Just just I just pop in a dice an airblade. The airblade will sort it out. The airblade will sort it out. It's dice and be trust. The airblade will sort it out. Now are you okay? You seem in a terrible state.

A bit of terrible state. This is awful. Oh, I've had the worst ever. Oh god of you one. I've had one. I've won. I've won the worst ever. God of you, one. I died. You have one. You have one. I won.

Yes. It's okay. It was a shock. Because I won with Alice Son. Oh, thank you. Thank you. And you took and win with Alice in. Oh, that's a slogan, and don't forget to vote for her.

Yes, of course. I was always winning with Alice in here. Yes, yes hinder. Don't forget to vote for her. Yes, of course. I was always with Alison. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Now, I've, I've, I've not gonna beat this. Sounds like a tale of absolute. Oh, I, I was going to borrow some money. No, I was going to borrow some money. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've The man who has all the money all the more the wonger you tried all the loot

He really is the king of cash You're a gosh. He really is the the cash lord. He's the cash lord. Yes, but you're not gonna believe it I said please forgive me David Ashford Oh the damage was done David Ashford, he can afford what he wants Oh, he could buy you a dick in an instant He could buy and sell it three times over and have done That's how he makes his money That's how he makes his money weirdly God, you're okay son

Oh, I've had a terrible time. Oh, really? I've had a terrible time. You've just won, have you? I've just won. I've only did I just win. Somebody just trotter my dick. Oh!

What's on your little dick? Nothing you dick. Trotter my tiny little dick. It's so small, your little dick dick, and someone still trotterly. I know. Well, they clad right up up to my crotch. and you walk straight over me. I was lying on the floor I was okay, but fortunately that's your first mistake

I'm the state is how do you I was disguised as a welcome mat? It was a terrible idea Okay, yes, where's this going? Okay, okay, yes, where's this going? Can't wait to find this one. Okay, yes. So, describe as a welcome mate, you were I saw in Carrier. Okay, so you're a welcome mate, yeah? Can you describe as a welcome mate? You're a welcome mate.

You're a welcome mate. I just described as well. You were lying on the floor. You were described in disguise as a welcome mate. I asked the man. Yes, yes. Did you just try to bite it all? Dicic? Yes, disc. And he said man. Yes. Yes.

Did you just try to write a little technique? Yes. And he said yes. Yes. Just guys. It's a welcome. Disguise. I can't confer.

I did confer. You confer? You're conferring with? I conferred with the man. You confer with the man. And he said yes. I tried to make you think that. I could. Yes. For the right. OK. I conferred with the man we can vote with the man and he said yes, I tried to be a single

I will I see Oh well yeah well I must I must concur with that yes it was Joshua Gallagher it was a tale as long as time. The tail is all the time. Well look I'm terribly sorry everyone. Please. For all of your inconvenience. And impertence.

That sadly concludes. I'm so sorry to say it. This week's neighborhood Patreon watch. Oh. I hate to be a pain but... What do you think I'm standing on both your dicks? I think I'm starting to go both your dick. Hahaha.