Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Ho ho house meeting) S11E49

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Time to deck the halls with massive stars, tinsel and a stalk of spoutsPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's for and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region, see you at for details.

Greetings, listen to deer, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to a house meeting Christmas special Ho Ho Ho. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho meeting, we should call it something. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho meeting, yeah, strong stuff.

So yeah, so this is us, you know, the usual, usual caper of the three of us chatting about Christmas.'ve, you know what, I think we really set the world to rights. There's gonna be a lot of talking head shows, picking through the thorny issue of Christmas. But I feel like we've taken it to a new level. We really have. If you want people talking about sprouts,

have we got a podcast for you? Oh baby. Oh baby baby. Just to remind you that of course our Patreon continues to pace patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share. If you would like to get yourself a Christmas present then why not go along and sign up you get hundreds of bonus episodes immediately and new bonus episodes every single week. It's wonderful. I mean, I can't sing its praises enough. It's a wonderful community.

I have a lovely time recording our Patreon episodes. They're really fun, they're really free-wheeling. And it also is like, it feels like there's a connection between us and the listener, which I love. It's great. Absolutely. Give yourself a festive treat. It's a nice time of year to give yourself

an extra little treat. Why not? Or give it to someone else? Surprise someone by making them a Patreon Whether they're listeners or not that would be a massive surprise. Do you know what? Yeah, I think that's a great idea Surprise somebody And by signing up to the Patreon and tell us how they react getting touch with us Papi's flat share at gmail.com after Christmas. Tell us when they're unwrap, however you're going to do it, when they open their card and you've written inside, congratulations, you won our Patreon to a podcast you've never heard of. Tell us how they react. It's a bit like when people say like you adopted a goat in North Africa or something.

It's that kind of present like three goats. Great just of all time. All right then we'll enjoy the pod and we'll see you on the other side for the usual stuff on the other side. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you, I want to talk, I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat, has me ting, what temperature should we set? The heat comes beating, why on earth am I always taken. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? This half a half, be taken, be taken. What's the point? Does life have a meaning? Half-beating.

Oh, well, ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. Have you got your decorations up yet? You know what? They've just arrived today. That's what's happening in the room next to this recording. Charlie receives some decorations and the thing that, this happens a lot in like a kind of,

like a Tesco delivery or something. Not like, I don't want to throw Charlie under the bus here, not great with looking at the size of a thing before it's arrived. It's happened at Christmas before, you know, it's happened for our Christmas dinner where you know the bag of sprouts arrives in the in the you know the delivery and the bag of sprouts contains three sprouts you know before that's before that's happened to you know. You know, cabbages. Three big sprouts. No, no, no they were sprouts size I no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it was a bag that you know, you could stick in the microwave and then in a minute and a half you've got sprouts done. That's what we, that's

what we have one year. So we have to make a mad dash out to get sprouts. But yeah, so we've just, we, the decorations have arrived. Some first decorations have arrived. And I've, hold my hands, I've not had any part in, in purchasing decorations. So you know, there would be no decorations if it was down to, down to me, just because I haven't done the decoration biting. But you're not having any old decorations. We've got old decorations for, yeah, in fact, we do have, we do a few of them up in the loft, we've got some stuff for the tree as well. But, you know, new house, we want new decorations. And the star that she's bought,

like a light-up star that she's bought is, well, when it arrived, even in the packaging, you were like, this is gonna be too big. It's too big. Yeah, I'd say it's a meter across. As a star. I think it was, it's the time to go in the window, you know, not as opposed to like, on top of the Christmas tree. Right, okay. But if it was gonna it's the dying to go in the window, you know, not as opposed to like

on top of the Christmas tree. Right, okay. But if it was going to go on the top of a Christmas tree, it could go on top of the one in Drifalga Square. Wow. It's like, it's that kind of, it's that kind of size. So yeah, that's, that's where we are. Christmas decorations wise. How about you, Clarke? Front, front lawn, maybe. Could go on the front lawn, yeah. Is it? It could go, it could go, it could go, it could go, it could go, it could go, or I mean, get wise men and shepherds. Shepherds.

Flocking. Flocking towards the front garden, of course. Yeah, I mean, it could go, it could go front lawn, it could go, I mean, it's, we'll just spike it into the ground. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah, it's we'll just spike it into the ground yeah yeah it's not a bad idea actually I think it's just you got chuck it onto the lawn and think about it in January just deal with it then I think a biggest I think like unlike the sprats I think two bigger star is better than two smaller star. Oh, absolutely.

Like I think you've done, I, you've done okay there. Cause if you come out tiny star, pathetic. You'd have been gutted, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it looks, yeah, if it was like, you know, the size of a postage stamp, you're thinking, well, this is not gonna do it, you know,

it's not gonna do anyone any fail. It's not gonna bring Christmas cheer to the house, is it? Are you always been star on the top of the tree? We never do star on top of the tree, actually. In fact, we usually stick a little Santa on the top of the tree, which I know is not... Oh, that's nice though. It's not what, it's a little sort of a little knitted Santa

goes on the top of the tree, which is not a tradition, but that's what we do. What about you? What are you on top of a tree? I don't know. I've just got the saying. I've just realized, I don't think I can ever remember buying Christmas decorations either. Like I've always had them.

And they've always been around, but I can't. I can't. She's been about one month, one month of the year, apparently. I think we're going to go out into your bedroom now. See what the Christmas decorations are up and tell us what you got. Yeah.

I couldn't remember the last time I bought a Christmas decoration. You know, again, your new house this year, aren't you? So you want to get new decorations for your new house. But normally, as Clarkie said, they're in the garage, they're in the loft, wherever you're taking them out each year. You know, you don't need to chuck them away at the end.

We've got a narwhale. What? We've got a narwhale. What? We've got a narwhale that... I've seen that actually, yeah, is it like a little cuddly, like a little knitted felt narwhale, is it that? No, it's like a shiny house. You've got your narwhale in your house. It's barcly narwhale.

But I've heard the first narwhale, but it's like that was at the top of our tree last time. Oh wow. And I can't remember being particularly pleased about that. I don't know where this was, how's this happened? Well, I lost the start last year from the top of our tree and spent all Christmas, um, and then ouring about whether we were going to buy a replacement

because I was certain it was going to turn up. Is it like, as we put the Christmas decorations away we found it? Is it like a kind of, well, it's a hell of a story, Clarky. That's it. That's it. That's the story.

That's one for the grandkids. That's it, man. That's the story. That's the story. Perry thought that was a great opportunity to eat biscuit, not a long enough story to eat a biscuit during that I'm not a big boy. I thought Perry, here we go. He went, here we go. Glocky's got one of his classic Christmas fables We'll sit back

We'll sit a lid And the moral of the story is never ask me for an anecdote That was one of the great Benicdotes. A Christmas Benicdote. At least it was Pitha. Sure. At least it was Pitha. Definitely short. Are you going to watch the adaptation of that anecdote

that the BBC are doing this year, an animated adaptation of... Everyone's in it. Bride and voice. It's actually a, of course you have to leave, but it's really, yeah, they thought they'd lost the star, but it turned out the star was inside them all along Clark it's out on it. It was a meter and a cross.

But it's not the John Lewis ad. If it was the John Lewis ad, it'd be like a, it'd be like a Nile whale or something or other. They they can't they can't just do it It's a realistic I can't let this carry on any further. It's a narwhal It's a narwhal. It's a narwhale And it's a type of whale, but it's a narwhal He don't say whale on the end. I guess it doesn't have an e nor an h Is it just narwhal? don't say whale on the end. I guess it doesn't have an E. No, or an H.

Is it just no wool? I thought it's not, it's not a, W-A-L. Again, it's got a H. It's got a H. It's got a H in there. It's got a H in there, surely.

I think so. I think it's just, and a R-W-A-L. I think it is, man. I don't think it is, man. I don't think it is, man. Let's have a little, I don't think it is, man. I don't think it is, man. I don't think it is man. I don't think it is man. Let's have a little cut in there. I think it is man.

I don't think it is man. I don't think it is man. It's got an H mate. It's got an H. You know what? It does have an H. It's also known as a NAR whale. I'm playing with a H.

Clarky, you've been devil of that. I'm not a Wikipedia. Oh God. I love it when Clarky gets, look, it's animals. I do have to say, because you're talking about animals, I will say.

I love it when that misfires. It's my favorite thing. I can tell you what, the Nile Wiel, it doesn't often understand why it does. Monodon Monoceros is a medium sized tooth whale that produces, the possesses a large tusk from protruding canine tooth. One, this is amazing, one year year it couldn't find its tusk

it's a long fantastic story from a novel there. The Christmas novel. Christmas novel. The Christmas novel. It's actually match girl. It's little match girl. That's the story isn't it? It's actually match girl The eye silence. Sorry. I can't I can't let this stand any longer There's no wine girl Yeah, so so there we go. So, so, Clarky, when you lost the star, it turned up at the end. You had a starless Christmas.

Yeah. And what was on top of your tree? Zero, did we squat? You didn't put any... This was last Christmas. This was last Christmas. So it was already a bleak Christmas. I think that's part of it. That's sort of, you know,

you go like, well, why bother? Why bother with the Christmas, you know, why bother with the Christmas tree this year? We're not imporated Christmas. We did not. Trying to find them online, they're they they range from kind of reenableming to massively overriced. To me. The overpriced ones, I tell you, what, me too long, mate. We've thrown a bit of money at the problem this year. I was going to say, like, a me too long star. When you're purchasing that, not knowing it's a me too long. You must have been thinking, this is quite pricey for a star. Is this an actual star?

I don't know. I have to ask Charlie, but it's literally just derived, honestly. You know that, actually, just fall out of the heaven. That stars arrived. It's brought a hell of a crater with it. Either that or Charlie's just been down Pinch high roads for the turning on of the lights and like Jimmy that belonged to,

you get one down. Well, they do get one of the Ryan with certain them on. They do get quite lively, don't they? They do get a bit sprightly. Are you hosting the local turning on of the Ryan was certainly on the market. They did get quite lively, don't they? I get a bit sprightly. Are you hosting the local turning on of the lights, Crossbow? No, I got invited to do a turning on of the lights in Carlisle, but I, yeah. What?

No, why? I could have not been traveling to Carlisle. I've known him for a long way. It's a long way to go, absolutely. But, but yes. What was on the table? Was it like 50 quid and there were a couple of minutes pies? Oh yeah, I mean I don't think you think they'd cover the travel mate.

Yeah, I think it's just if you want to be there, you can do it. Did he just get invited to watch mate? Was it an open invite this? You know you say you rast. Was it like just an advert in the paper? Does anyone fancy turn on the lights? Will someone please come to Carlyle? It was just an open letter in the Carlyle Gazette. Yeah, why did you subscribe to that? Yes. Carlyle, please. I've let it ride for a long time. LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER That's not so useful for putting your feet in. I'll be too. Last year we had two Christmas trees because I'm not in a fancy way. One died before Christmas day. Right, really sad, bro. Of course, sad to say.

Yeah, it's like the little match girl in many ways. The little pie needle girl. So far. One just couldn't handle it. So we got one from it like what I thought was quite a nice Christmas tree, you know it was, you know one of the, it was in Christopher Palace Park, it was one of the ones in Christopher Palace Park, you know you stroll around you have a look at you, you know look at all the different Christmas trees, you see which one looks really really good, you stroll around, you have a look at all the different Christmas trees, you see which one looks really really good. We took it home, put it in the water and everything, treated it beautifully. And property in the bath, like when next to the night. Over a bath twice a day.

Yeah. But property in the water, spent ages, you know that the worst bit of putting up the Christmas tree is we've got one of those bases that has like three different screws like a medieval torture device on it. And getting it to stand even an approximation of straight up is a nightmare. Mate, as fell over at like three in the morning, I was like, that's the first thing.

I've haven't it decorated. If it falls over, yeah, fully decorated. So this is fully decorated. Kills over, scares the shit out of you because decorated. If it falls over, yeah, fully decorated. This is fully decorated. It's the lid of the floor. Kills over, scares the shit out of you because you're normally asleep. It waits to you're asleep. Thought someone had some on a broken, broken in or something.

You know, pierced. Pears is the cap through its belly. All that kind of stuff, you know. Anyway, so, that's a narwhal on top of it. Two's on top of the tree, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, but yeah, so a couple of days in, it started to look a little bit off-color

It started to look a little bit yellowy rather than the lustrous green and then a week in we were like I don't think this is gonna Don't this is gonna gonna gonna deal with it It's not gonna make it and we'd only bought it like a fortnight before but it was clearly wasn't gonna make it at Christmas day So I so Clarkies tree didn't have a star on the top and your tree topped itself. My tree healed. It was a bleak Christmas. Why a bleak? We're all on a daily briefing. By the way, straight away after the daily briefing, I think everybody remembers watching

that at home when they announced that Christmas was cancelled, right? It was really, it was so tough. I was at home, myself and Charlie, you know, Cleo, toppling around the place. And the second, the announcement finished, the house over the road from us went out into their back garden and just launched a load of fireworks into the sky. It was like the biggest, I'll just fuck it, you know ball these fire we're gonna have a lovely sort of you know whatever He was even Just it's all going out. They just And also like not like it's like a turkey

Ciao, who we it was a Like they literally just like got the box stuck Stux and matches in it, dragon the box, just gone, you know, into the back guard and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was mad. Anyway, try to move. It was the fifth of November though, wasn't it? I remember it well. Yeah.

Yeah. And so I got this tree, anyway, I've got this tree and I'm trying to, I'm trying to take it from the corner of the room to out in the back garden. I'm going to chuck it through the patio doors and get rid of it. Every inch I was dragging it, because also you have to take it out the water as well, try and put some stuff on the floor so you're not just getting water all over the carpet. Every inch I dragged it, it would shed, I'm gonna say, 400,000 pine needles.

It was just carpet bombing. So by the time I got it across the room, it's like a knock through double room, right? Basically the length of the house. I got it across the room, out into the back garden, and the inside, I looked, turned back, and the entire place, including the kitchen, was just covered in pine needles. It looked beautiful. I said, Charlie was out, I took a photo, I said, can we keep this?

It's a sort of woodland-glaed thing, she was like, no. It's just very, very cool. I'm back in 90 minutes. It's gonna be done. It's gonna be done. So it took an hour to get up all the pine needles. It was mad. And then I went and bought a, you know, I'm gonna go there straight away this weekend, straight to the source, the vape shop.

That's who sold the tray, the vape shop does Christmas trees. Well, you bought a tray from the vape shop and it didn't last two weeks. No, no, the vape shop was the tree that lasted. That was, sorry, I went to Christopher Palace Park, the nice one with all the lovely middle class people with their families pushing the trees round. Then I went to the vape shop, the vape shop sold me a tree and it was, oh, it was still good on New Year's Eve. It was wonderful. They do give you popcorn along though the Christmas trees from the...

That's right, and it did smell a butterscch. I don't know why that was the game You can also get the vapes sent for pine needles as well. So, you know There we go. Have a very vaping Christmas vaping up an absolute treat Absolutely, but that's that's their slogan It's written in snow on the window vaping up an absolute treat God, I mean yeah, I've got to start. I haven't even thought about what to do in terms of real trees. No, mate, you don't need to start. No need to vape. Real tree or fake tree? I've got a loft now, so I think I'm going to get a fake tree. Put it in the loft. Yeah. Have a Santa's Grotto out there and charge.

It's the tree that it's going to lift all the way up. Charge made the mistake of having to fake tree in the past without having to loft and you just resent it all year round. It's always there. Yeah. I was considering it this year and yeah, the idea of having to pack that away as well. We already have too much of our one bed flat taken up with the Christmas decorations Learliner a tree as well. It's up there with the tent at the end of the festival, you know?

What do you think about projection? If you could project a Christmas tree because they take up so much room Like our thing is like right we've got to put it somewhere and it's like that's gonna really That's gonna really into our space. So you kinda go, well, if you could project a Christmas tree onto the wall. Like Netflix do the log fire. Yeah. If Netflix did, you know, you just put it on a loop, Christmas tree that you could then project onto the wall

into the corner, it's not a bad idea, is it? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna step further. I'm gonna go, how about a year round tree? That you step further? I think that's a definitely different direction, Clarke. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

You decorate differently for different seasons? Oh, you know what? I think that's a good idea. So that's like, it's like a pot plant, but you're sticking stuff on it. Yeah. So it's a potted, it's a potted tree. It's a potted tree.

Okay, well let's talk a talk a through it. Obviously, Christmas is sorted. Next season is your spring into Easter, right? Lovely eggs. Yeah. But you're not putting on eggs, like on the fifth of January, are you? What you're putting on at the start of the year to suggest the end of winter,

I mean, actually, have like the middle of winter. I don't like a load of resolutions. Oh! That you put on the tree. That's good, you like peg your resolutions onto your tree. That's actually a good idea, actually, yeah. I like that. Autumn's a fucker.

You've got to basically strip all the leaves off of it. Yeah, yeah. You've got to spray the tree brown and strip all the leaves off. And some is just a lovely pair of a Muda shorts. So yeah, but works out. Perry, I sent you, you're unconvinced by the year round trip. I do.

I mean, for someone who just said, I haven't got room for a trip at Christmas. The answer to that problem is, and we'll have a year round trip. Oh yeah, that'll solve my space issue. But having there all the time. Which is, if you can make a feature of it year-round, that's okay, but it's having to pack it away

and put it somewhere else that's out of the way. That's the issue. For me, anyway. Well, what a, yeah, I guess that's true. It's, you don't have to worry about storage space if things are just constantly on display. There you go. Does it not look nice if it looks like it's supposed to be there? Are you talking a real tree or a rock? If it looks like a Christmas tree.

If it looks like a Christmas tree. There's no way it's going to look like it should be there in March, no matter what you fucking put on it. Right? You can stick a fucking top out on it when it's hot season and no one's going to go off right. It's like, there is no way. It's a bit of a bit of a season. There is no way it's going to be like, oh, let me put Union Jacks on it for the last night of the problems. You're like, a big whoop, it's a Christmas tree.

You know, it still is a Christmas tree. I think if you're hanging Union Jacks in your house for last night at the proms, you're eccentric enough to have a Christmas tree year round, that's it. It's something good off. You're already a nutter. Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm sorry, sorry, Clarky. All right, I chased the idea down as far as I could,

but Perry came in with pure logic and once again, I'm just saying that. I'm just saying that. I'm just saying that. If you have a year round tree, But Perry came in with pure logic and once again, and the desire for space. If you have a year round tree, then the association with Christmas will probably dissipate over the years, you know. Well, you know, people in their front garden have what is a Christmas tree, right?

You get in their front garden, and then they still stick, you know, they'll stick lights on it for Christmas, but the rest of the year people aren't going, what's a bit weird, there's a house with a Christmas tree in front of it. Well that is the new, they are starting to sell them in pots and the idea being that you take them into your backyard and for the other seasons. I just can't do that.

That makes, I mean, it makes more sense, but I just can't be asked, I know it's terrible, but it's just can't be bothered. It's going to be heavy in it. Yeah. It's like a big six-foot thing with a pot. And also you've got a pot it right so it doesn't die. That's a skill in itself, isn't it? Potting things so they don't die, which is just, you know, we haven't really managed that yet. You're treated last three days. In the hot pot it for you, you're gonna be be alright. And what's gonna be in that pot? Am I right guys? That's certainly smell of pot.

How do they make bread and no wheat? How do they make bread and no wheat? It's for and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats. But maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes. We can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See you at our details. I'm going away from the idea of just a tree, basically. I'd rather not, but I think

a half day, I don't think I've got much of a choice. Yeah, so that's why I think like the... It is nice once you, it is nice once it's there. It does look wonderful. And are you a tree in the window kind of person, or are you a tree just for the family to enjoy? Do you want the world to know you love Christmas, or do you want the family to have a festive time in front of the tally?

I wouldn't put the tree in front of the tally because... Really, I'm not going to put that in front of the tally. So, I've been sitting on the piece. We're not going to gather and look at the tree. It makes everything into a Christmas program. We've got a Christmas tree directly in front of it. I always think of the miscellaneous. We're going to miss Clarky's star at this, right?

The BBC Adaptation. No, not Treyon Show, no. But I mean, this year's different, because this year it's Trey wherever our daughter can't destroy, can't pull it down and yeah, yeah. Like, that's what we're facing is the idea of like, you go like, she can't manage the ladder against you. If we want a Christmas tree in our front room,

we've got to take away Gloria's ball pool and replace it with something she can't touch at any time. So it's like, you go, you know this thing that you like to play with and have a lovely time in? That's gone for something that should be outside, but it's inside and you're not allowed to touch it at all. We're going to put shiny sparkly things on it. You're not allowed to touch any shiny sparkly things. And it's like, we took all the thing that you can play with, we took away so we can have that there. Like, I just can't see that playing well.

Yeah, that's tricky. But my wife's very excited for it, but I just think like, I think at that age, I think I would happily not have a tree until she's three and then be like, look, we're gonna do a tree now. Yeah, I mean, I think Tristmas three. I was gonna say the three is still pretty, I think, you know, dicey. Yeah, I mean, I think Tristmas 3. I was gonna say the crit yeah 3 is still pretty I think you know dice. Yeah, I would say no No tree till they till they've moved out I think parry

But you're but if you're worried about them sort of pulling stuff off the tree or or or pulling it over I'd say yeah wait till there wait till them they've moved out which in the current economy will be sometime in them in 30s and then you can have a tree. Like a retirement tree for yourself. My year-round retirement tree. I live in a house made of iron sheets. I live in a house made of iron sheets. Do you tinsel?

No. We're ph. Do you tinsel? No. We're phasing out the tinsel. For environmental reasons. No. For aesthetic reasons. Ooh. I think tinsel is also quite, quite, yeah, I think it's quite old fashioned.

It's quite like, it's the stuff. I was talking to my, our friends, Stu, who, I was going to say my friend, he's all our friends. I was talking to my tinsel dealer. Down the make shop. Our tinsel Tony. Yeah. Now I was talking to Stu and I was saying that

I think there's a sort of a slight generational thing of people are age, that lots of people are age like a slightly more gaudy Christmas, because that's the Christmas we were brought up with. Like in the 80s, it was big plastic tree with loads of multicolored tinsel around it, sort of basically looking, like as many colors as you could possibly get around the Christmas tree. And then shiny foil, like concertina things. Yes, loads of shiny foil concertina is hanging off the ceiling

and also the paper rings, loops the sort of chains of paper rings hanging from the ceiling that you'd make at school. And so all of that kind of stuff, I've really big, bright, gaudy Christmas and then then slowly as into the into the 90s and beyond, people like actually, I'm going to have quite a tasteful Christmas this year. It's just going to be green and red and gold and no other colours and I'm going to make it all quite classy. And I feel like a lot of people are age are kind of

harking back to, I really want the, I want the gaudy, I want the gaudy Christmas. That's what I'd like, you know, loads of, loads of, like for example, on our road, there, I'm end of terrorists, I'm the sort of, we're the sort of first house of the naff half of the road, right? It's all, like we're all the 1930s houses, the, the other half of the road is all like the 1900s houses, they all look nice. So all the 1900s houses have got the lights outside, the kind of the teardrop, snow drop type things hanging off the door frame, you know, that kind of stuff. Classic, tasteful, maybe a little bit of blue, but mainly white, you know, like one or two

colours, no more than that. From my house onwards down to the end but mainly white, you know, like, you know, one or two colors, no more than that. From my house onwards down to the end of the road, you have got the inflatables, right? So it's, you know, the two-meter-wide star. The Santa crashing his, there's a guy who's got a Santa, a crashing his taxi into the side of his house. That kind of nonsense, right? And I love it. Next door to us has a giant inflate. It's not as such as crashing its car into the side of his house.

Yeah, love it. You can, if when I last you when I was taking Clio to walk and see the Christmas lights, I'd never take it to the posh half of the street. I'd always take it down to see where people have really gone for it. They've got projections. Everyone's got a little projection of a go-bo spinning round on there. Also, some of them are really like, rude off with a bowner, that kind of stuff. It's not that, but you know that kind of that side of things as opposed to it's not as knows the trend. But yeah it's that kind of thing and I think I like that sort of stuff. You know I really like that kind of thing. Are you going to enter your garden at all? Is there

anything going on in your garden? Well I've been on the Wayfair website to look at some of the inflatables and they're very reasonably priced. You know it. Well, compared to what you pay for a star. We're about to remogge to the house. It's got to be the star. But yes, it's, I'm tempted. I mean, the next door I've got a big inflatable teddy bear dress as Father Christmas,

which is great. Flops around all over the place in the weather, it's great. I love that sort of thing. I mean, I love it when a house really goes for it. At Christmas, I think it's great. There's a house. I see too, but I'm kind of off the opinion,

it's great that someone else does that. Yeah, yeah, sure. It's not gonna be my bag, but good on you for doing it. I don't know you got phoned your bag No, at the end of Christmas he found the bag and inside was a star But I think it's the same with Halloween, you know as the kids get older I'm getting I'm excited to do more and more Sort of crazy stuff to the outside of the house. When we went trick-or-treating recently, it was great. In fact, you know what, the posse side of the street did really good trick-or-treating as well.

I mean, they've got the money too. But we were trick-or-treating it at one house and the woman was giving us sweets and she went, oh, when you're standing there, mind out for my car, mind out for my car. And I thought, chill out, we're not gonna scratch your car. All right, you know, we just stood next to your car. She hit my mind out for my car, mind out for my car, and I turned around and she had like a full on corpse

that up in the car. I feel like, she murdered her husband. She's in prison, by the way, yeah, yeah. But no, it was been the, you know, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Yeah. It was, yeah, it was, it's good. And I think that's the sort of thing, you know, that's proper Christmas. But if you wanna see other people do it in it, that's proper Christmas. So corpse in your car, that's proper Christmas.

It's happening Christmas. He's wearing Santa's hat now. Watch out for my car. Well, it's a year round corpse, isn't it? It's a year round corpse. You put it in there, you put it in there, you give it eggs, it's done. It's a year round corpse, you put it in there, you give it eggs and it stirs. Yeah, it's great. It crashes into your neighbor's house on Christmas.

You should see it during hat season, that corpse has a plan for that. What a gorgeous bonnet. It's wearing. People were doing that weren't they too in America, you know, if you don't car share, you can't use certain traffic lanes. Yeah. People were getting pulled over because they built kind of like effigies to drive to work with so that it looked on the camera

like they were car sharing. Yeah, but it doesn't also, isn't there so much? Right, I'm gonna start, you get this wrong, I think. But isn't it Noel Edmonds, who has a He has a model in his car of a woman next to him, so he can drive in driving alone. Yeah, but I think I think he might even drive I might have got this wrong. I think he might drive a black cab With a model of a woman in the seat next to him so he can drive in the taxi lane

Would that make sense? I think if you're on a black cab. You can drive in the taxi lane anyway. I think so. Oh, maybe it's bears. Maybe he owns a black cab, so he can drive in the taxi lane, and he has a model of a person in it,

so no one gets in. Yeah. Or those, but then you've got a model on the top. You've got a model of someone in it, so he's got someone to talk to. I think he's spun a few excuses for that model. And we all know the real reason. It's how you can put her into a label and have sex with him.

No, no, no, it's because people... Sorry mate, is this captain? Oh my god! Talk about a crinkly bottom. Oh dear. Oh dear. Blubby, blobby, blobby. Blubby, blobby, blobby. Oh my god. Yeah.

Well we're all wood. We don't love that Mr. Blobby. We won't wait. Come on. Let's be honest. Let's be frank. Think about it. That's how it's seasoned.

That's why Blobby will close down, isn't it? Because of the... He opened it late nights. For fellow pervose. The docking incident in the back of Blobby World. That's right. Oh my god, so shit went down in Blobby World, you know it did. You absolutely know it did.

But yeah, so that's not a limit for you. The first no-well. It is pronounced no-well, isn't it, Clarky? LAUGHTER Have you guys... Speaking very much it was we did at the start with Sprouts. Have you ever bought Sprouts on the pole? On the pole. Stick. Sprouts on the pole?

Sprouts on the stalk. And they look like stalk. Love it, yeah. Sprouts on the stalk, and they look like the sort of thing a medieval gesture would hold. Don't they? They look like you should have bells on and you should do it. You should do it. Someone used to bludgeon someone in gangs in New York

or something. I remember. They must have been amidst some murders where somebody's died by being bludgeoned to get death by a load of sprouts, right? Because you're gonna eat the evidence, can't you? Oh. If you've got a strong stomach, you can eat the evidence, can't you? Oh! If you've got a strong stomach, you can eat blood-soaked sprouts.

I mean, if you've got a strong stomach, you can eat sprouts full of stuff. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, you know what? I won't have this, I won't have this, this cliche. They are one of the nicest veggies. I think people just don't know how to cook them. I think sprouts are amazing. I think sprouts one of the best.

I am actually with you. I do love a Sprout course. You are clarky. I knew. I knew. That was it. I knew you're in bad faith then, man. I had to do it, but Paul just ran out of it.

I knew. He doesn't even believe his own words, yeah? Sprouts are amazing. You must be a Sprout fan, Harry. You must love a Sprout. I try to, but it's hard, I think. I get the kind of line, but I don't quite buy it. Like, I went through a stage of like, people saying,

you got to stir fry your sprouts. That's when they really come to life and it's life. Yeah, stir fry sprouts. Not a question, obviously. But they're like, in my head, they're not, they're not, they're somewhere between it, they're not as good as a cabbage or a leek, you know, and I think they're the cheeky upstart of that group.

But I don't, I don't, I don't, I think they're the worst of that kind of lot. Really? What, why? What, what, but I thought, Surely you'd love a cheeky upstart being one yourself. I thought that is, maybe that's what it is. Do you relate too cleanly to them? You know how you often meet someone who's a bit like you and you're like, I can't stand this person

because they just remind me to watch them myself. Is that what it is? I mean, if I were to ask you a question there, I'm just trying to unpack it really because sprites are notoriously unpopular by most people. Most people don't like sprites, apart from you and Clarkie, are like, actually, I think they're all right and you're comparing up to the end, actually. So it's like, it's like, it's very unfair there. Loads of people don't like you, but me and Clarkie think you're all right. We can stomach you. Hey, they are an acquired taste. It's kind of the vibe I'm getting here. Yeah, that's it. Is that not fair? So you're great with some panchetta. I've always said that

about you. I've always said you've got to stir for a your parry. So that's what I'm saying about sprites. I mean like boil sprites aren't great and most people boil sprites. Yeah, madness. But then I think boiled vegetables aren't great and most people boil their vegetables. I don't know man boy broccoli Delish steam it oh Seem your broccoli man Clarkie, yeah, I've got a room as you Of trees I've got a year round steamer

You got a steamy room. I've got a steamy room. I just pop a load of broccoli into my shorts and go into the sauna. Pop it out. And as long as people are happy eating blood soaks to broccoli, then. So you've got a stronger stomach. You pickle your broccoli. What's going on with it? Broccoli and brine, anyone?

Come on. This is good stuff. I don't mind. I don't mind. I do normally roast them. If you roast things, why not? I'm a poor boy and a roast. I'm a poor boy and roast, yeah. I'm going to go through all the vegetables. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Until we get to the one that we... You know, I've said you're like sprouts. Return the favor. Parry, tell us who we're like. Surely. Surely tell us I'm like a parsnip. That's true actually. Even more unpopular than it's sprouts.

For the turnip and the parsnip. Oh, no. The turnip, the parsnip and the sprout. He's pulled it back. He's not very popular, but he's the best of the three. LAUGHTER And together, they're awful. LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER Goat impressions. Let's hear bleeding. I feel you. Well, here we are, the usual stuff on the other side. Yeah. Here we are on the other side. Yeah, Here we are on the other side, yeah. Christmas covered there, really, I suppose.

Christmas sets are rights, yeah. I'll say one thing, by the way, just about the last episode we did. We've had a few bits of correspondence about the Emma City beef brothers' co-cuts. It seems like everybody really enjoyed it, which is great, because I had a great time chatting to him. I thought she was brilliant, thought she's absolutely fantastic. But, there's been, someone's got into, his name is Neil on Twitter.

He's got in touch to say that what I've been doing and what Al has been doing is called wish cycling? Have you heard of this? No, but so you can go on. Wish cycling is when you put stuff in the recycling to sort of lay your guilt about the fact that you're not doing enough, because basically now I've stopped throwing it.

I went through this list of things, you are not able to recycle. And I'm recycling way too much stuff. And also as well, what you don't realize is, it has to go through a machine. There's people they're trying to pull stuff out as they see, you know, crossbees, house keys going down those conveyer belt,

pulling it out. But if it hits the machine, which a set of house keys might, it jams the machine and it costs a lot of money. And I actually, you're doing more harm than good. So like, you know, there's a great, there's a really good article on the BBC website about the, about which site can the do's and don'ts have been good at recycling. But suddenly my recycling has gone down to, well, it's, it's, it's almost halved, I reckon, since reading this article. Oh wow. Because of the stuff I was putting away that I thought was fair game.

To be honest, I do use it like a kind of this, you know, like it's like a sort of bin mark too. You know, like it's like, I shouldn't throw this away, but I'm sure there are a sighting people who know what to do with it. Yeah. And maybe they'll want it, they'll just keep it. Yeah. Like, like, like, like, Corks from a wine bottle. I sort of go, well, it's, sure, it's good,'s good. So surely surely it's good somewhere surely it's good in the I stick I stick that in the paper and card recycling

Courts from wine box. Yeah, corks. It's kind of it's cards cousin, isn't it? You're trying to help I'm trying to have this is it. I'm trying to help you. It's come is they say come that's what it's called wish cycling It comes from a good place. It's a thing. She's you were able to recycle, but unfortunately, you really can't. But it's a... You can't. You can't. You can't. So, yeah, it turns out that, you know, Al and I are just good,

just good people. Ha ha ha ha. That's what you took from that, okay. No, what I took from it is I, what it took from it is I've probably cost, probably council, quite a lot of money. So, yeah, they might take my house away. Anyway, that's that.

Right. Yeah, next, this is going to be a fun month because we've got, next week, we've got beef brothers, cold cuts, which is a very special live episode of Recording at the Pleasant. Then we've got the Pappies flat chair slammed down live episode Christmas episode which is all happening next week. So yeah very exciting. Hope you can be there for it but if not then you'll hear it as it comes out. Yes it's right and sorry I thought I enjoyed that as hope you're gonna listen to it, but if you don't then it's okay as well.

Would you still say no? You know what? It's like wish cycling, you know. I'd love everyone to be involved, but there are some, you know, occasionally someone just goes, no, I'll tell you what, I'm a set of keys. I can't. I can't. I'm a bit of a cork, I'm a ribbon.

Well, thank you for listening, Adventure, on its way, and today's episode was produced by Evan Coulter. Evan started, mate. I know, yeah, that's how I realised that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm too busy. I'm too busy. I'm too busy. First Advent Chopper yesterday, and in the place of it was just a little note that said,

ha ha, fuck you. What, from whom? Oh, mega. Oh, I'm kidding. I thought I'd be stupid. I thought the people in WWE H Smith really just didn't do this liking to you. I'm not all the elf from the show.

The elf on the shelf's got really serious. LAUGHTER Elbow on the shelf's flipping you the bird. Right, well, terrible. Both of us have tried it with the man's advent. We've tried to close the episode off strong, myself and Pary, we've not succeeded. Clarkie, do us a favour.

I think it's the same. Clarkie, do us a favour. Don't do it, don't do another penny, don't. LAUGHTER Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham Tee. Cheers everyone. Bye.

Today's episode was produced by EverCourcium. Courcium. Cheers everyone!