Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (I walked here) S9E2

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

Tom, Ben and Matthew slide into your ear canal for a catch up. Pappy's have walked here, hidden their electricals and stayed in to go out.Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSupport Tom as he runs for charity Phab Kids -  https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tom-parry10Produced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh wow we're here. Oh wow we are. Yes hello. Hello we're Papis I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and it's great to be here. It's lovely to be where we are in your ears. Straight in your ears and in your weak. Yes, we presume you're listening to us in your ears. How else would you imagine people would listen? Who knows, in this day and age, there are many roots into the human bodily. It's so hard to tell now it has. Yes. I'm going to move the conversation on if that's OK. Yes, please do. So, raise B. Welcome, praise B, indeed.

Welcome to this episode of Pappy's House Meeting. Matthew, what is a Pappy's House Meeting? It's a good point, actually Matthew, what is one? I'm not sure why he gestured to you when he asked what the question was, it confused me. He said, but Matthew, gesture to Ben and then say, what is a house meeting? We're keeping you on our toes, listen to the ears.

You're not keeping you on our toes and it's very painful please get off. Guys, welcome to our toes and don't forget to have us in your ears. And so basically, a house meeting is, well we unfortunately don't get to see each other as often as we would like. So this is our way of catching up, of chewing the fat, of just finding out where everybody is emotionally, spiritually, angiographically. Absolutely right.

We're going to be solving some of our burning issues. We're going to be talking about some of our wildest dreams and we're going to be hoping for the best. That was lovely actually. That actually is a better way than I could have put it. And I know because I've just put it somewhere. So listen to me, we want you to imagine that we're sat around our kitchen table in our podcasting flat, eating a big plate of bangers and mash

and putting the world to right. Yeah, a channel in a way. I hope you chat with us with your ears. What? Enjoy this. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. OK, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has beaten, beaten, beaten. What temperature should we chew the fat. Has beaten, beaten, beaten, beaten. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has beaten, beaten, beaten, beaten. Why on earth am I always weak? Has beaten, beaten, beaten, beaten.

Who went my bed while I was sleeping? This has a has beaten, beaten, beaten, beaten. What's the point? Does life have a meat? Has beaten. So I was chatting to my friend Adam the other day. Oh, I... And... Adam the need. Oh, no, but what a What an immediate shocker from Paris to come in back with a bang. He's back with a bang. He's back already I'll tell you what I'm gonna do another one because I was actually this is genuinely true. I was hanging out with my friend Juliet

Yeah, I was hanging out with my friend Juliet. Yeah, I was. Oh, Romeo. Oh, it's not bad. Yeah, it's gone. Adam's there. Adam's there. Figgly for all. I think he might. Oh, good Lord. If I was called Adam, I'd walk around with a Figgly for all day long.

I mean, you're basically doing your cool Tom. So I don't know what the distinction would be there. Yeah, it just means that at the moment it's just Sun's fig leaf. Yeah, more just costs. Sun's fig leaf is a call name for a band. Sans fig leaf is not a bad name for a detective. A French detective. Tell him you want to fly. I'm Sans Fegleaf. What's he called? I'm Sans Fegleef.

Oh, welcome to the auditions for Sons Fegleef. So Matthew, your name? Give us the reading. You've never been to an audition, have you? Matthew, your name? Give us the reading, please. Just start with your name. You remember the scene. S Sans has just walked in. The body's on the floor. The body's on the floor.

Let me just explain the scene first. It's very good. It's very good you've arrived in character. He's good. He's very good. He's so talented. Right, I'll have to do too much. Okay, so Sans has arrived into the room.

He's found the body on the floor and he pronounces the cause of death, you remember the scene, so off you go. I should just say I am a serious agent. What? I came in to just to check to rumours, alright? He's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna, I'm sorry, sorry. Sorry, Claude, of course. What? What?

From Claude, talent, associate. Claude, talent, I'll see you here, to CTA. Very nice of you, in person. CTA. Claude, he's white at the top. He's wearing a very different phone. Oh, that is, I've got to use one of those little voice changes. Okay.

Because I make a lot of harassing calls. Okay, thanks, Claude. To vulnerable people. Well, that's too much information, but probably makes you a very good agent. Okay, now it certainly does. Okay, well send him Matthew, please. Hello. Hello, Matthew.

Hi. Nice to meet you, Agent, came with us. Well, he was his pleasure. I was going to go, I got confused here. We was good at wheezing. So anyway, basically, I'm not very good in auditions. I did an audition the other day. Oh yeah. I did an audition. I love your audition story. The other day. And it was for a, I should really remember this because I did it and so I went in for the audition and the idea was you had it was for an advert and it was the guy looking at the kitchen being made really lovingly so I supposed to look really lovingly at this kitchen being made at one point you're

supposed to lie across a counter and one of those, yeah, yeah, and you're not saying, don't say any words, you lie across a counter, you rub your hands in it, you've got this real relationship, and then it ends with you sort of doing the Titanic, putting your arms out, that kind of Titanic thing. And first of all, they put a dressing gown on you, and I had all my clothes on, so I had a dressing gown on, just sweating buckets all the way through. And then when it got to the end of it, and they said, okay, so put your arms out and do a big smile.

I had so little moisture in my body that my lips were stuck to my teeth. So I looked like hell-raised. I was like, my chest. At the end of it, I just go, go, oh. And I knew this was happening, but I didn't want to,

because they're filming me, obviously, this is my big break., but I didn't want to, because they're filming me, obviously, this is my big break. And so I didn't want to, like, so I just sort of slowly put my tongue out of my mouth and licked my lips all to loosen them up a little bit. And they just said, well done, that was great. See you later. I was like, do you want to do it again? No, it's fine.

It's all right. And I was like, ah, you know, that's not the best version of me smiling. No way. It pretty much is. I had a battle dish on the other day. Where I was a fucking... I was a fucking...

From the start, messing up where I walked in. I walked in and it was for, I knew everyone in the room basically, I knew the producer, I knew the director, and I knew the ghost it coming was. Offer him the job. I walked in and it was for, I knew everyone in the room basically, I knew the producer, I knew the director, I knew the ghost it coming was. Offer him the job. If you know everyone in the room, offer him the job. You know what you can do. You're good when you know everyone in the room.

Like you're good but you can nail it. Walked in, shook everyone's hands and they said, you're all right, you have a good journey and I said, yeah, walked. Just came up on my mouth. Yeah, walked and I said, you walked. And I said, yeah, nice of a wedge you live. And I was like, I live in whopping and they were like, that's about six, seven miles away.

And I went, yeah, they said, why did you walk? And I was like, just felt like a stroll. And it was like, it was 11 in the morning. So I was like, that must have taken a comparison. I was like, yeah, yeah. And so I just got trapped in this lie. So they think you left at like 8.30. That's just a walk.

The walk started sweating straight away. Like, I'm just lying now. I'm just lying about this journey because literally just fill out my mouth. Yeah, what? Why do we feel compelled to lie? And also, my thing was once I've started the lie, why can't I just say I'm so sorry

I didn't know yeah, that's hindsight moment. So you're like it wouldn't mean so easy to have got out of this and just gone You know what guys I just I didn't walk I didn't want to worry. I just came out my mouth I meant from the station I walked from the station. Yeah, and you can have a nice laugh about that the other thing about that Is that like it's not even a hindsight moment because you see the moment? It's you feel it when it's only like that you're like I can not even a, it's not even a hindsight moment because you see the moment, it's, you feel it when it's happening. You're like, I can tell them now that this is a lie, but your mouth is still going, yeah, yeah, yeah, six miles I walked this morning.

I walked. I mean, you must have looked surprisingly fresh for a man who just walks six miles. I'm gonna show them how healthy it was. I've got a six mile walk in my locker, no probs. Where are these lines? Save to say I did not get the part! It's always the saddened to these stories, isn't it?

It's always the saddened. I mean they haven't actually messaged me back yet. Well it's still there. It was a good couple of months ago now. Maybe that's what they're looking for. I mean, I can't imagine. Like you couldn't have gone much worse, short of getting a nosebleed. Like, it's one of the least convincing smiles I've ever seen. I had an audition for a carpet company where I had to go in

and there's this big square of carpet on the floor and you just have to dance on the carpet. It was very similar to your work surface thing where they're like really kind of trying to involve the carpet in your dance and like you love the carpet. So I was doing not the caterpillar, but you know like the worm where you just like you push yourself love the carpet. So I was doing, not the caterpillar, but you know, like the worm,

where you just like, you push yourself along the ground. I was like, oh, that'll be hilarious. So I did that and just gave myself carpet burn, carpet burn down the side of my face. Down your face, have a face. And then, got a good reaction in the room. And then they, this guy's doing, let's go, the extra part.

Let's go again you spun on the top of your head you had a ball patch after it's lonely kind of pummeling off bits of your body who's this guy he's very smooth he's very smooth I started to dance again we'll go don't do the worm thing again yeah we don't know how to do the dance thinking They did like the worm thing did it again on the other side of my face Came out with carpet burns out both sides of my face. It did not go fast Like Raymond Briggs is father Christmas

Lovely reference I see they've got two two red cheeks. That's really it really had like really ruddy cheeks, didn't he? Yeah, but not bleeding. I don't know, after that Las Vegas episode, you know the bit when he goes to Vegas? Yeah, it's great, isn't it? It is a good bit when he goes to Vegas, but I think you might be confusing it with other Vegas movies, like very bad things or whatever that movie was.

Go on, so with your friend Adam, so I'm with my friend Adam, good memory, because we've gone quite a long way away from him. Oh my goodness, yeah, let's talk about it. Very rare that parried the one so we had the conversation background to the topic. Well, songs big leaf. So, a song was big leaf.

So the thing, right, and he said he just come back from, he'd been away to Australia, been away on a trip and he had done exactly what I'd done when I went away on a long trip which was he'd hidden all of his valuables all around the house and now he couldn't find any of them. Oh what? Really? I went away to Australia and New Zealand a couple of years ago and I obviously because I was backpacking I didn't want to take my laptop or any of that so what I did was I took my laptop in fact I've

got a laptop and a little sort of tablet type thing. Those are two different places. Hit my wife's laptop in another place and bear in mind we're talking about like under the house. Kind of like I've got a little crawl space under the house, hit some stuff in there. Oh, they listen. They're listening. They're going to be around. It's a treasure trove guy. When you find out where the crossby lives, get under his house. That's where the goal is. So it's also where the mice are. It's a very good point actually. We could out where the crossby lives get under his house That's where the goal is so it's also where the mice are very good point actually We could took out the mice at another time, but yes, so then I and I hid all the cables as well separately all the charges

Because I thought they're 90 quid apart. I'm sure so I'm gonna hide all those got back and Couldn't find just couldn't find them I couldn't find them and I was saying to my friend Adam I said yeah, I'm still looking for a year 18 months later. I'm still Down a charger. I just I can't I can't where it is. I've got no clue where it is It's somewhere in the house now what I did was I sort of went under the house and hid them in like inside compartments of suitcases Once I wasn't taking a whole day so like you know you wouldn't even think't even think, you'd see a suitcase, empty suitcase, nothing in there, but you wouldn't unzip it and stuff. So I went through all of these things.

I'd hidden one laptop wrapped up in a, in a, in a, in a Facebook mattress, deflated, breaking into a house for charges. It's a very good, that's a lot. That's a lot of level burglary. Tom, you've, you've hit the nail on the head here. And also as well, who is hiding charges and not just making a little note in your phone

going, this is where it is. This is where it is. So it's so anyway, the. Put the wall in your sock drawer. Do people look in sock drawers? Tom, you three steps ahead of me here. Oh. So anyway, I say this to Adam.

Yeah. The next day, I go to my underwear drawer and I say, I've got to clear out this underwear drawer. I've got pairs of pants I never wear anymore reaching the back. Bump pull it out Yeah, literally so I pulled it out Well hold on no the charger I should say that I pulled out the charger and I was it was doubly good day What my little knob out as well? I'm gonna celebrate find a charger I come to old find a charger. Find a charger. Find a charger.

Charlie, get in here. Look at these two things. And so one of them still works. The other one's going on eBay. It's having subtitles on a foreign-film cheek. Tom, I'm going to... Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h- But you're not just doing it for the shits and giggles of running and it will be shits. There will be a lot of shits. More shits than giggles I'd say. I've seen marathon runners crossing the finishing line.

But you're doing it for charity. Yes, I'm doing it for this amazing charity called Fab Kids. That help children with special needs to integrate into society. They run clubs and activities for them. It's a really great cause. So if you fancy supporting me, guys and listeners dear. I didn't know that we were in picket. Sorry yeah you're implicated as well. We have to reach our pockets. Yeah absolutely. I know you produce your Emma. I don't go skulking off. I can see you through the window. Can we? Can we? Yeah. If you fancy supporting me, then you can go to

justgiving.com forward slash fundraising, forward slash Tom, hyphen, parry, 10. But we will also be sticking that out on our Twitter, Facebook and all of that. So if you fancy going to just giving a support of me, it would be much appreciated. And if you fancy coming along and screaming from the side of the road, then that would also be much appreciated on April the 28th.

Well, see you there. Yeah, see you there. We should first. We should give Listener Dears something specific to shake to me as I run past, so I know that you're a Listener Deer. Oh, that's a good idea. Oh, that's great. Yeah, what about go on run?

Go on run. I mean, that's, no, that's just too generic. Now, I was going to say, go on a road in the crowd. We're proud of people who should go on run. Yeah. How about you just shout gold? Gold! Gold! Even better.

Gold. That will spur me on to win this marathon. Yes. So, if you see Tom running, shout gold, gold, gold. Gold, gold, gold. And I'll tap my head, give you the sequence signal, that's how I run fast. You'll tap your head and give it that, that's even better.

I won't have the energy. I was going to say, don't add any, isn't it? You'll do a cartwheel. Have you got the miles in your arms, Tom? If you give me a big shout of gold, gold, gold, that'll be awesome. And if you help me raise lots of gold, gold, gold, that will also be awesome. Beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous.

So scared. Good luck, Tom. Thanks. How do they make bread with no wheat? How do they make bread with no wheat? Do you think there's something in that hoiding things for yourself to find later on? Like like little treats? Yeah. Well it depends on the... Well because the other thing is... I won. I came home the other night and Charlie said I gave Cosmo a little cat a prawn which she didn didn't eat, but ran it somewhere around the house. So it's hidden.

So there is a little treat hidden by Cosmo in our house of a prawn, which is not really the sort of treat you want hiding behind the sofa. I've checked in all the compartments of suitcases and cases, did you know what it's like? She takes after her own. What you need to do is give your cat an equal measure, nice smelling things, like a little bit of popery and then she'll send them, like a game almost, like mind sweeping around your flat. That's a smart move than what I did, which was given another prawn and try and follow her.

Oh, okay. But she knew she was being followed for the prawn in a different place. She put the prawn in a different location. It's smart. There wasn't a prawn next to the prawn. She just put down Wow, you don't put all your prawns in one place Old saying can't put your prawns in the same room. Do you ever do that though? With like your notes on your phone I've done find that's kind of the the closest thing I do for when I'm really drunk hiding a little treat for myself Is looking through my phone the next day and finding out notes that I know recollection

of making. I do do that and I never understand the note because it's not me because I'm when I'm pissed. Yes. I remember, I come out with a show where I literally was going to divide the audience down the middle, right? Light two different halves and at the start, you had to decide cat or dog and I had in bracket like Bridal Grume. What was I going to do for that Edinburgh show?

Maria, cat and a dog. We've got to do it. We've got to make the show. We've got to make a hat. So I'm the agree to the audience as they're coming in, shaking their hands. And instead of saying, bridal groom, I say, cat or dog. And then I put them on either sides of the audience. Pet wedding.

Pet wedding. So that way we're under you. I think so. Pet wedding with Sans Figgley. Okay. Now I'm interested into something. Truly it was the dog that killed the beast. What, he you killing someone

at all waiting? Sounds like it's a detective right? Oh he is a detective that's true. But he also doubles up as a priest. Do you want to go should we do a quick exercise now where you go to your phone and you have to read out a note that's on your phone? Okay yeah absolutely what it is. Is it the last note? We'll be back in just a moment. I've got just written Guinness Book of World Records, judge, right? Yeah, but that's because the other day I had to go around someone's house to do a bit of work and their housemate was in and he was just this guy sat in a dressing gown. Just like, he had this kind of incredibly laid back nature about him. He was in like, I don't know, sandals dressing gown. Sure.

It's like 11 o'clock in the morning. Was he Christ? Well, he honestly, like, he had this kind of like, he just had something about him. And I was like, can I close my name off and call. And he said, ask me what his job is. He's a Guinness book of world records, judge. That's his job. He travels around the continent.

So he's like the Maguerta twins, the Gratis brothers. That's his job. And so I was like, that is a good character. What a good character reference. Yeah. Yeah. To have like, oh, you're in a story, and this guy, what's your job? I'm a Guinness Book of World Records judge.

It's so outlandish though, it's just not seem what's your job? I'm a Guinness Book of World Records, judge. It's so outlandish though, it's just not seem like a real job. I know. Do you think... What a job! Do you think it actually was a real job? Do you think it genuinely was his thing? I believe him.

I believe him. He's not just... Someone's got to do it. Someone has got to do it, you're right. Yeah. But imagine that. I don't know, because I've been watching the assassination of Gianni Versace and every

time he meets a new person, he comes up with this like an outlandish job. I do. And I wonder if maybe you might have actually met a murderer. That is not a good way to keep your identity hidden, right? Because you're going to come and stuck at some point by being like, oh, he also tells people his full name quite a lot as well. I mean, I'm only four or five episodes in, but I get the feeling, well, also, because it's from the news and I remember reading at the time,

he's not a good egg. He's not a good egg, and also he's going to get caught. Yeah, okay. Okay. I mean, if they had never caught him and they didn't know who it was, the chance of having a TV show made about him. Pretty slim. Yeah, very true, very true.

I do like that as a job? Although you must see so much, I was going to say sadness, but that's not like disappointment in the job of the Guinness World Record Guide, because so many people just not quite doing it, who've worked so hard, or people who have lost on a technicality, you know, just like a tiny little thing. Oh, sorry, you've got to have, you know, you've got both your hands on the ground. Oh, yeah. In order to push this peanut with your nose, you've got only one hand at any one time on the ground. What? You know, pushing, yeah, one hand. Did I, did I not tell you that? Jesus, Christ, I've had six, six, six months of training though. Well, you say that when you go into

auditions. How's it getting? Well, I was pushing a pin out. I was going to be all the way here. Two hands on the grind. Clarke, if you got one. Well, yeah, I do. I'd written, I'd written Barbour's tap. Oh, yeah, because. Sounds like a point of real ale. Well, or, because Barbour's barbershop singers, throwing a bit of dancing as well, Barbour's tap. Is that, if you've got a sort of a, no, it's Barba Shop singers throwing a bit of dancing as well. Barba's tap.

Is that, you've got a sort of a bubble? No, it's the first he starts. Okay, sorry. Well, I saw someone, I saw someone on you. Wow. He's not happy about that. I tell you what, I tell you what, that, those improv classes are paying off. And I'm talking about, yes, Andy.

Yes, well, we, think of that for a moment. Not for me, thank you. A tap quartet, I was with you there. And in fact, just to follow up on the tap quartet, I think it's Andrew here. Everyone's got different sized feet, so that tapping makes a different noise, right? So you've got a guy with size 12.

It's that. It's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that. Here comes the little fella. It's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that. Oh, I see, you've got actually, you've got like a kind of base baritone tap. You've got a guy with size 12 fit. Look, the clock is furious.

Tell you what's good about this as well. We'll get round to the guy with the size 12s. Very high voice. That's the grand team. And the trick. And having a good time. Oh, I don't want a good time. I have a very much.

In comes a little fella. You always greed. You always greed. I like a barbershop quartet where one guy say what a good time is having and the other guy just picking him up. It's a very positive endeavour. You've got to do it. So they're a tap quartet. That's a great idea, Clark.

You've well done for making that night. Anyway, crossby, what's yours? I've got this one here. No, sorry. You've got your... No, this is what, so I saw someone the other day and you, who just had a haircut and I was like, barbers tap, no returns.

And he was like, what? I was like, you know, barbers tap, no returns when someone gets a haircut and you tap them on the head. And what would the return be? And you say, no, barbers tap, no returns. You see them shaking ahead. It's not a big hit. I'm shaking my head. Well, this is the, Bob is tap no. He's shaking ahead. It's not hard of it. I'm shaking my head.

Well, this is the, it no one's heard of Bob. It's a deal in our house growing up. So I think it's just one of those things that my parents were just like, I don't know. Let's just do this. Did you all, and I thought that that was the thing that everyone did

when someone gets a haircut. Did you do it at school? You do Bob's tap? Nope. Why do you only do it at home and now you're suddenly bringing it out into the... I don't know that I have to... I have to talk about it for years.

But as a kid you didn't go into school or when someone had a haircut, you give them a barbers tap. I was trying to remember if I tried and failed at that point and I think probably if I was a kid and I had done it at someone at school, I would have been able to have just gone like, ah, you're wrong. Yeah, I've heard of this cool new thing. We're doing. someone at school I would have been able to have just gone like, ah, you're wrong, and if you're not, you're not doing wrong. Yeah, and you heard of this cool new thing we're doing.

We, similar in our house, we used to do punch, punch, seventh of the month, where at the end of the first week of the month my dad had just like really go out. Oh my god, that's super cool. Oh, I remember. Yeah, it started bleak and it ended bleak. Punch, punch, seven of the month. Oh yeah, that's too strong. It's a strong brew.

It's a strong, it's a real barber's tap. I have a real barber's tap. So you're gonna try and bring it back in? Well, I don't think it's a thing to bring back. I think it's a conversation I've had with my parents. The question is, what would the returns be? I don't know, to do returns. You'd be able to go barber's tap back. You can't then you can't then take them off to get a haircut

It's not like you know no, and it was like it's just Customers kick It's not the barber doing the tap though. Is it barbers tap customers kick? Tom I think your ideas are incredibly violent and I do, I do back you on that, but it starts with a tap, ends with a slap. I remember, brother. This is too much. I don't like the idea of this. So the... The other... The other... The other... The Shavers Rub is a different thing than the other. The deeper... The deeper... The deeper's, the deeper's. So, don't, didn't you and your family all go for a haircut at kind of a proximate at the same time?

Because I think when, when the family trip, yeah, I think we all went for a haircut. I didn't actually. So you all went, so you all take, and presumably you were taken by your parents, you weren't just rocking up to the hairdressers on your own. Yeah. That's a good point. Because I, when I, when I went to the bottom of this bar, was, what's really gone on with your family?

I don't know. Why is it just letting you roam the streets, getting hair cut when they're really nearly. Willing it exactly. Why is it letting you roam the street having hair cut whenever you've got down well please? No, my parents would have taken us to the barb. So what they're making multiple trips, there's four in your family.

Yeah. So that's four different separate trips. Yeah, it's bad. If you've got the same situation in my family, three boys, one girl, all three boys would go at the same time and then of course when they opened the salon above for the ladies, then it was one trip for all four of us. I mean it's a wiggly wiggly world you're living in, Clarky. Maybe we did, maybe we did. Going to the hairdresser's was traumatic, right, when you're a kid.

I still hated it. It's why I rarely get hair cut. I try and keep hair cut still minimum. Well, no, you want to avoid the barber's tap. What has gone is the curse of the barber's tap. Don't wash it. The other thing though is, because I've sort of keeping my hair long-ish at the moment, but when they cut your hair from long,

I've basically now got my wife says I look like a woman called Gloria. You know, I've got a kind of like a, you know, a sort of librarians bob going on here, not to be confused with the barber's tap. And so it's very tricky. So I always had long hair when I was a kid, I'd like to have in long hair.

It suits you. Thank you very much. I enjoy having you. We were a long time saying that, but it does suit you. I've said, I've said I like you a lot. I like your hair as well. you're listening to the appreciation society like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're Oh, yeah, that was so good there because I couldn't tell if you'd actually hurt your hand or that was just the acting You see thank you. That was lovely audition. I walked here

Goat impressions. Let's hear bleeding Listen to D.R. if you're enjoying the podcast that we're putting out then please feel free to support us at patreon.com that we're putting out then please feel free to support us at patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flash Air. We can't afford to do this without your support. It would be great if you could come aboard and at each tier you get loads of different extras and bonus stuff. Let's go through them, shall we?

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What have you got in your notes? MC Crossbow. Let me tell you now, this is actually, this is torn from the pages of real life. Oh my god. Yeah. I went to the bathroom at Chiang Cross Station. Oh yeah. Free now. Never used to be free.

Finally. Free as a bird. What petitions been heard and I I Put down this actually really happened and then I put down a little conversation with myself There was a bit of a Shits me it across both the sad face and the medium face in the how did we do So I had to press the happy face and they're written after this. Why is it not just not vote? Which would have been a better

better system. But there was, yeah, there was there was fecal matter smeared across the sad the sad face and the medium face. And so it's forcing people into saying it's a clean toilet. What do you think? Well, it surely isn't a clean toilet. Do you think the cleaner has done that? I don't think so. I think the cleaner. I mean it's a good tactic. It is not a bad. Not a bad tactic. If I were a cleaner, that's what I would do. But I really, I should then have at least gone back and washed my hands after that. Because, you know, if you're pressing a button

that's next to a button that's covered in shit, but think about it, if your hands covered in shit, you're not gonna vote that you had a good time on the toilet, are you? So you're gonna vote for a bad time. And then the second person is going to come out, he's got shit on his hand. He wants to vote for a bad time, he can't. He's not going to vote for a good time, so he's going to go for the medium.

I think that's a third person to come out of. We haven't actually asked you, did you have shit on your hand at this time? No, I had clean hands, clean hands, clean hearts. And I just felt compelled to vote because you know the problem is it's people who don't vote. You've got to use your votes. In this situation, in the first place, you can't not vote and then be angry at the system. That's it. All the system. Yeah, I think.

Oh, I'm raised with the prize. So you are having a drink with your friend Adam. No, we've done the re-a-s. Yeah, yeah. Tom, back we go. Tom, it's so fresh last time I did it. Take a rest. So fresh, that's happened.

I just found another note and I find that I've got no idea what this means. Okay, let's decipher it for you. Okay, on the 10th of October, I left a night that says, you've got to go out to stay in. Oh! It sounds like the sort of thing that Carrie from Sex and the City would be saying.

You've got to think it. Do we have to go out to stay in? Stay in. Also, this is at eight o'clock in the evening. So this is, you're staying in. This is too early for a, you're not hammered here at this instance. So I should hope not. Are you trying to re, are you trying to remember the lyrics to The New Radicals?

Or I was thinking of Fast Love by George Michael. I was thinking that only yesterday. Well you're really great, great song. Was it? Tom, I'd like to believe you to say you were singing that only yesterday but it feels like one of your lives like you walked here. In fact no I'm thinking about it I think it was let's go outside. Let's go outside. Let's stay in the right to it guys. We do not have the right. I'm afraid we do not have the right. Because I was

singing the line. Sometimes to go out yeah you've got to stay in let's go outside That work for you is that that? Why what are you saying here? Let's what you're gonna go out and stay in I'm not idea Do they mean you've had to have been out the house to be like I'm gonna stay in tonight? Oh, what do you mean you've got to be outside to go like all let's stay in tonight? Yeah, maybe I'm being sent but I'm gonna get holds up because, oh, let's stay in tonight. Yeah, maybe we can't be in. But I'm gonna get what holds up because you can be in the house and go, let's stay in.

But then is that not going out? Is that what you're getting at? Because I had a little thing a while ago, I've been like, because when you wanna night in and you wanna cry off something that's going on. Yeah. I tried to make a new rule,

a little while back of going, just go out for one or whatever. Yes. So you've shown your face on all the rest of it. And then normally by the time you've made a bit of an effort, you're like, oh, now I'll make the whole effort, kind of thing. Yeah, but now I'm here, I'm having a good time. So I'll get what is the idea of staying in, because quite often you go like, if there's something going on on a Saturday night, you're like, if there's something going on in a

Saturday night and you're like, oh, I want a night in. And then halfway through your night in, you're like, should have gone out. If you do it the other way around, you go out for a bit, you can go home, but you've also got, you go like, oh yeah. So that's what you think it is. You think you've got to go out in order to realize that you're unhappy out yeah and you're not saying it you're going home yeah he's got you're early aren't you I mean basically you delete this note I think the note but don't get a tattoo of it I think right away I only buy it what you think? If I was to analyse this, like it were your dreams, I think you've got to a certain age where actually, you're more about the staying in.

You're sort of going, well, my 20s are over. Quite considerably. I'm ready now. I've gone out and now I'm ready to stay in. Because if you never went out in the first place, if you've never had that wild time, then it wouldn ready to stay in. Because if you never went out in the first place, if you never had that wild time, then it wouldn't be staying in. It would just be being in,

because that's what you always are. You're always in. So basically, you're now saying, I'm drawing a line under my wild, hedonistic days. I'm ready to watch a box set to sit at home, have the TV dinner on my lap. Yeah.

The glory days are over. The glory days are over. You're getting older and it happens to all of us. Hang on, I've got a note in my diary. What's that? You've got to go out to fucking go out because I'm still a fucking legend. Oh my god. Oh, that's a relief.

You're locked out, aren't you? That's what it is. I don't know if it's my keys, it's where the keys are. Oh, god. Not a big fan of things that remind you that you are losing your edge. I don't know what my key is, it's where the work is. Oh, God. Not a big fan of things that remind you that you are losing your edge. The other day, I shazam the song by Bastille. Which that's the beginning of the end.

For crosses. That's the beginning of the end. That's on your system now. On spot, on, because it goes straight to Spotify. Spotify doesn't have, I had to make Shazam songs private. Because that is way too into a detail for people to know. Where are you hearing this per steal song? The gym.

Are you in the gym? I was in the gym. It comes on. Shazamming a song in the gym. So hang on, you listen to the gym's music to work out too. No, I was doing my stretches. So I take my headphones off, I was doing my stretches. And I thought,

oh, this is a, this is a rare band. This is a rare band. No, it's like a DJ in your gym, or is it like on a radio stage? No, there's not a DJ in my gym. That should be, there should be a DJ in my gym, right? What if there was a DJ in his gym, he wouldn't have to, Shazamit. I would have gone up to DJ Gym and said,

Right, gym, I bet there's gyms out there with DJs. Oh, of course, there should be more. There simply must be, I think that gym that's... There must be more. There should be some. Yeah. And there must be more. Is that what you're saying?

I don't think that's a fair. Yeah. There shouldn't be as many as there are. I bet there's a few. It's a good idea, actually. It could be the new, because, you know, like the, the, the, the, the, all the statistics says that the kids nowadays are more

into like, excising than they are going out drinking. Yeah. That's where they get their... So making the gym the new dance, I, I, I did actually see a thing the other day where they'd done like, morning, you know, kind of morning gym type rave types. I'm a gym DJ. A gym DJ. I better have something to hear at dinner party.

What do you do? What do you do these days? I'm a gym DJ. Oh. It's, it's, it's, it's, that, just the Jim DJ live with your record breaking guys. Yeah, it's not about that. It was that kind of house. It's a warehouse in East London.

So that's not a house? A warehouse isn't a house. A house, yeah. A warehouse to be aware of. Yeah, so these guys live in a warehouse. Yeah. You go out a whole lot if you lived in a warehouse. They've been no staying in.

Yeah. So I did a run on Sunday morning like a organized half-math and then a DJ, they had a DJ at the start line. And they do it like the London mountains as well. It's like, okay, only 30 minutes to go. And they're kind of like, we're doing the big countdown. But it was like, I thought there was like, whoa guys, I'm not going to go, I'm not going to run it up it up Anyone doing a sub 30 half here guys, cuz you beat right guys please be up the front And the guy was like only 10 more minutes till we start the introductions to your five minute countdown cuz like He wants to make you feel like there's not that long to go so he's constantly doing that They won't even two minutes two minutes to introduce the people who'll be starting the race in five minutes.

I'm like, oh, sorry, hang on. This was like the notebook I'm putting in. Just hang on to the notebook. Carry the two, what did it bring an abacus? Oh my gosh, this constant countdown, that's absolutely exhausting. But I'm not a bad job. I think like any kind of DJing,

I think I could be a good DJ. That's not a proper DJ. Does that make sense? Sure, you could pick good songs. No, he's terrible at that actually. I think you make a really bad DJ. There we go. Well there we can solve that.

There we go. Jerry's in. So let's Clarky. Clarky is actually, Clarky is a good DJ. He can pick some, but worse than that, Clarky thinks he's a good DJ. Yeah, everyone Clarky is a good DJ. He can pick some, but worse than that, Clarky thinks he's a good DJ. Yeah, everyone thinks they're a good DJ. You think you're a good DJ?

You're just saying you're a good DJ? No. You think you could be a good DJ? No, I know I'm a good DJ. Oh, next up, it's Florence and the Machine. The Dark Days Parallels. I'm just, I'm just shazamming that. Parallel music.

That's all I'm talking about. What do you think would make you a good a good DJ? It's volumes isn't it if you're in the gym DJ gym yeah, you're kind of well, it's it no it's BPM surely it's gonna be BPM, isn't it? Oh? Interesting. Yeah, it's got to be what that's the name of your deep. That's the DJ name. Yes Barry Paul Yes, Barry Paul, Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden.

Barry Paul Marzden, Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Marzden. Barry Paul Mar for you. Oh, buddy Paul Masters. Hello, I'm Barry. I'm Martin Touls. Hello, Barry.

Oh, it's all turned into a prep milk. Can we have some of the beer please? Absolutely. How would you feel about the charitzer fire thing, Jellies? I'm happy with my madness. Thank you for coming in. That was a very good character. I'm going to shock you now.

I'm actually cross-biz manager. It's Agent Emanager. Always come along to all of his auditions. So you came along with Ongo? I came along with Ongo with Ongo. That's right, with songs with songs with Big Leaf. What a team you've got behind you. Oh, it's a great kid.

He just needs a little bit of encouragement. He's not here because he's walking. He's out at 6am and I'm not going to lie to you. He didn't have his music with him. So he hasn't got the BPM. He hasn't got the BPM. He hasn't got the BST. He hasn't got the BST. He hasn't got the BST. He hasn't got the BST. He hasn't got the BST song from 2016. He shouldn't stay in. Don't go out. Stay in. You know what? I will after that. Oh it's me. I'm back again. I'm back again. I think a good sign of getting older is not just shazamming bestil songs,

but thinking you'd make a good DJ. Yes, I went to a UK drill night the other night. There we go. Yeah, I went to a, because I'm working with a performer at the moment who is very big in the UK drill and grime scene. So I went along to watch a host a show and you know what, they've got a good thing going on that scene because if

they decide halfway through that a song's not going that well, because there's a DJ DJ and there's a singer or a rapper doing all of the singing in the rapping, I think I've got all the technical terms there. So if at any point the rapper decides the crowd aren't feeling it, I'm not feeling it, he just signals to the DJ and the DJ just goes, boom, ends the song, starts another one, or ends the song, berates the crowd, starts the same song again from the start. It's brilliant. And you think about it, that's the problem with it with DJing is that when you're stuck with the classic two turn tables, you know It's if a song's not going well

You've got to riff around find another thing. You can't have the It's like it alerts the crowd that something's up. Yeah, it tells you because it doesn't you never have that feeling then of going Well, look they're not feeling it. I'm not feeling it. But let's pretend You never have that feeling then of going, well look, they're not feeling it, I'm not feeling it, but let's pretend it's going to get it. Boom! Fuck this, we're moving on. I loved it. I mean, I was pissed out my mind. We're going again. Florence on the machine!

We're done! We're done! You don't have the rights. What do you think we could cut it on the UK drill scene? I don't think we could, am I afraid? No. I definitely don't think I could, because it's the first time I've heard of the phrase, the UK drill scene? I don't think we could am I afraid? No, I definitely don't think I could because it's the first time I've heard of the phrase the UK drill scene. Well, you're thinking about black and

deck are in my right. I'll put a toolbox over here. The toolbox isn't a bad name for toolbox. Here he comes toolbox. Toolbox is toolbox coming out tonight. He said he was going to stay in but you know, you know, he's goingbox coming out tonight. He said he was going to stay in, but you know, Toolbox, I don't know what that means. He's got to go out, stay in. He's going to come out for one, he's going to stay out for seven. Plenty more wrench in the box.

He's got a few warplugs left in him. I could definitely see you. I could really see you as a sort of unconventional UK grime artist. Toolbox. Very, very unverventional conventional. But you'd have one that very, very un-ferential conventional. But you'd have one that doesn't really understand what's going on.

The song's caught on, he's stopping. Boom. It's just a whole. Boom. Boom. Boom. It's like the CNAT Jurassic Park. It's a...

DJ toolbox is here to shut this party down. Boom. It's APM, everyone. Boom. Go home. APM will be... APM will be APM. APM. Very poor masters here. Very poor masters. It's 8pm everyone go home 8pm or be I'm here guys

Don't you worry about me this is Jeff Beck with high horse silver lining Yes, but please I like bpm's playlist Classic wedding DJs bpm Classic wedding DJ It's not bad. The best game. He's the kind of guy he'll play Common Island several times in a night. People will look around and go,

we heard this before. You might have done, but it's a classic. It knees up. Yeah, knees up. How's BD? BD. What would you say to Roman? How's BD?

Probably nothing at all. Whoa. There we go. That was that. What an ep. Probably nothing at all. Whoa! There we go. That was that. What an ep. What a great strong ep it was. Absolutely right. Well listen to it.

We hope you enjoy that. We are going to be releasing episodes weekly. That's the plan. We're going to try and get a new episode of something out to you weekly. Whether it is a Papi's Fatshear slam down. Yes. Whether it is a beef brother's cold cuts. Yes.

Whether it is a house meeting. Whoa! Oh, that's pretty much it. That's it. That's it., whether it is a house meeting, or that's pretty much it. That's it. Brave new world guys. Brave new world. Here we go and come with us, listen to dear, and if you enjoy listening to our podcast, please now is the time to recommend to your friends, your loved ones, even your enemies,

get them all on board. We love enemies. Hop aboard this train of ours. Absolutely. We'd also like you to leave a review for us if that is possible. Tom, what's their review sort of homework this time round? Well, give us five stars. Feel five stars. Yeah, it felt like a five star challenge. It felt like a five star today. And in the review, being as we've been looking at DJs and DJ sets, why don't you try and get as many song references in as possible? So titles of songs in the review of the podcast, you know, positive songs.

Positive songs. And our favourite reviews will be able to read out on the podcast and next time round. So please, yeah, get on board. We're also on Patreon, it's patreon.com forward slash papi's flat share. This podcast was produced by Emma Corsham now. Stay tuned for the Patreon neighborhood watch. Roll call! All right, well, dear listener, go forth, enjoy, spread the word. Look after yourselves, we'll see you next time on papi's

flat share, have a sweet Meeting, cheers everyone! Bye! Patreon, neighborhood watch, roll call, comments. Now what you can't see is Tom is saluting when he says this, but here we go. These are all the people who are very kindly donated to the Patreon and remember if you donate to two dollars or above, you get your name read out on the podcast. Here we go. Never gonna lose, it's Dan Hughes. He lives in Glamorgan. It's Gareth Morgan. He's got a lovely sheen. It's Justin Green.

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Yum, yum. It's James Williams. She's also not someone's son. It's Sarah Simpson. Oh, dear, sorry Sarah. He couldn't be stabbier. It's Alan Tapperer. In no way is a ball bag.

It's more ragged. Has he ever owned a beagle? Dante-gal? And finally, he's not an ast dragon Norbit. It's Alexander Grass Dragon Corbit. I mean, what a one to end on, I think. Should we close off there or? End of Patreon, neighborhood watch, Roll call.

What's wrong, girl?