Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Immersive Laces and AKA Lovers) S13E06

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. Matthew’s joined an adult members club, Tom's joined Dec's back and Clarky's joined the stage to sing about his lifePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom, I'm Ben, and I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. House Meeting! That's where the three of us sit down through the fat, put the world to right and discuss whatever's going on in our brain. That's the right name, that is. Very good description. Beautifully succincts description of the format. Very good, man. I have to remind myself sometimes. Yeah. Well, we've recorded it.

So it sort of doesn't really matter if you've got the format right or not. But yeah, this is the show, a very, very fun chat. Small little bit of business. They're not on sale yet, but we're going to be doing some more flat-sheast land downs in April. So if you're going gonna be around in April,

around town in April, April 3rd and April 25th. So save those dates for your diary. Stick them in your diary now. Book early as well, because last three I think have sold out. That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Book early book often. Probably next week we'll have the ticket link for the shows

But I thought we'd give you the dates just so you had them had them in your diary So you didn't book in something else, but yeah, that should be should be happening very very soon And of course don't forget if you're a member of our patreon you can get discounted tickets So yeah, this can't be off the price of your ticket and an early bird Yeah, an early bird, a ticket link and discounted tickets. I'm not going to say it's 30, I mean 30 pounds, that's, that is not necessarily the amount. If you bought enough tickets, you get 30 pounds off. Right, there you go. So it's not untrue what you've said there, but not 30 pounds per ticket.

You could get yourself 30 pounds worth of discounts if you try hard on it, basically. It's all about percentages, which I think we're going to talk about in this show. So get ready for that. Yes, otherwise also join the Patreon because we put a bonus episode every week. There's a lovely community of online people who send in their messages. It's a whole show within itself that you'll discover what you're going to take. So I can't recommend that enough, you get that for £4 a month, which is a plan a week, a bit of maths there, and that'll be coming up in the house meeting as well. And some months, you know, have five weeks in it, so you get a free week.

And that's science. That's pure science, guys. Pure science and pure maths. Any other business to add before we get into this? I don't think so, just enjoy yourself. Clarke, he takers there. Guys, have a listen to this! I've had a thought.

I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has me ting, me ting, me ting. What temperature should we ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting, be ting Life haven't been as easy. That was a couple of minutes late for the record because I was struggling with my shoe laces. Oh no. Kind of figured it.

Oh, I'm a little... I'm a little... Have you got one of those charts on the wall that you used to have when you were like a little kid where you're like, I can button up my buttons. I can do my laces up. I can brush my teeth. I'm about to have to teach my daughter how to do it.

So the toilet can be worse. Do you feel having a little kid, Tom? I think lots of people feel this way. Having a little kid, you go, oh, all the stuff I don't know about, I can start again at the base level. I can turn up on that kind of stuff. Yeah, I can turn up on, so I think that,, so I think I think that you know in 14 years time I'll suddenly get good at maths again because I'll basically started maths again from when she goes to school and

I mean get sorry get good at maths again. I was never good I was gonna say So I'm not having kids. I don't want to be bad at maths twice in my life having kids, I don't want to be bad at maths twice in my life. LAUGHTER Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's like a second chance for you to be able to do things. The timing of it is when you're on route to... Yeah, you're most, yeah, sounds everything you go the other way, aren't you?

Your second childhood. So they say you do maths twice in your career. LAUGHTER Because I was good at maths. your second childhood. So they say you do maths twice in your career. Because I was good at maths and then I... Yeah you were weren't you? I know I stopped being good at maths. Yeah it's always bad. I guess because I'm just going to not good at it. Like I've started, you know, this is a real old man thing to start doing. I've started doing like a brain gym app every day Oh, that's gonna say shit in yourself

No, I started doing that years ago So I'm so bad at max. I can't take the amount of times I'll ship myself Sorry gone, so you've started in your brain gym. This is our age. This is the age we get. We have to embrace it. Doing the brain gym and it's so bad how slow I am at really simple divisions and percentages and you know because the percentage like when they say what's the percentage of this it will usually be what is the percentage percentage of, from a hundred of things? Right, yeah. What's set, so all of a sudden,

these do you need to do is, it's type 17 and then press submit. And still I'm going, I'm most definitely sure, it's not 30. That's just, it's really. But if you could, if you were going back, if you could time leap no no not time leap I'm glad you said not time because I don't what time leaping is

I just do self-office Well, I was trying to think is there a difference between time leaping and time travel? Yeah Oh, they'll never to be end up with that Would you Riste or no No, no, so like if you time leap or time travel you go back I ended up with that car. I'm going, and would you, Ristie or Nosh? No, so like, if you timely put time travel, you go back and you can eradicate one of either math science or English from your education.

And knowing now the life you've led, you wouldn't, you wouldn't hesitate on maths, would you? No, I get, I get with a science. You get with a science. I never use science. I mean, I get, I get with experience. You get with a science. I never use science. I mean, I know obviously you're a scientist. I'm always using science, yeah, say with Matt. I'm all around us.

But in terms of like, you know, you find in my life, I'm just gonna be a key. I'm your science teacher. And I've been playing the mind game to teach you this lesson. The vitally important lesson that science is all around us. Alas, it's come too late to save you for your GCSE results. I'm not a very effective science teacher, but I am persistent.

Yeah, but the thing is, you know, practical, like, and we're talking about the absolute basics here. The practical basics of mathematics. I think I'd love to have them. I'd love to be like my brother and my dad, they're both, you know, in fact, pretty much everyone in my family is part of me. I'm just going to, I know I'm out of the brother. Yeah, basically, I'm the thick member of the family. And they just have to deal with that. My other family members are, mental arithmetic, they're really quick with it. They're really good. I take ages

It's embarrassing, you know if we all got for dinner. Yeah, but then you rinse them with your words, man They're the same good at words. Just trying to go on numbers. No, they are very good at words actually a very eloquent Your family My family is the opposite because I was thinking about it and there's like my mother my father my sister and my brother Everybody's got to be in their aka lovers. It's really upsetting. The big fans of Hunter Day, anyone in here, anyone down for that reference? No, no, I didn't understand a word about it.

I'm just gonna know what was going on. Is this one of your science lessons? It was a quote from Watchers Wrecked by Mike. I would say my brother, my father, my brother, my sister, my mother, whatever you said there, too generic to be a recognizable quote from a song. What, your mother, your father, your sister, my brother, my sister, my mother, whatever you said there, too generic to be a recognizable quote from the song. What, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, everybody's got to be an AKA lover.

It's iconic. I... Yeah. Give us the motivation. We can cause a sensation. Anton Deckard. Yeah, I mean, I don't doubt. I don't doubt you're right. Again, another thing I'd love to go back and learn from the ground up. Oh, that's the great one.

That's the curriculum, guys. Sitting down with the kids and saying, listen, you know, it may not mean a lot to you now, but this was all the rage when I was a youngster and put on a military to rumble. You're not ready for it, but your grandparents are gonna love it. If you could time-track, that's what I do. Much like the Almanac in Backthfeet 2, I would put... Yes, yes, yes.

I would invest heavily in Antendek. Well, this is it, isn't it? Can you fly... Are they on the stock? Can you buy shares in... In Galagate, they're company. I wonder if you can. I mean, I certainly think you could attach yourself to them, you know, and say, look, I know you're going to be going. You're going to need science for that. You're going to need the basic.

You're going to be able to do all the time. When deck takes his shirt off, Tom's face is just coming out of his back. What's Tom deck? Yeah, exactly. And Tom deck. And Tom deck is, is it on Strictly Come Dogs? And I, that's the only bit of the rap that you see me for. They're off, they're doing their stuff and suddenly they pop up their shirt and I go,

your mother, your father, your sister, your brother. And no one can ever hear the words because they're so busy screaming. Because they're screaming the bombs again. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And no one can ever hear the words because the say busy screaming. Because the screaming of our music. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's got to be unique. You love it. Sure. What was Aka?

That was their kind of rap because they were obviously PJ and then PJ and K.A. Oh PJ and K.A. And Dex. So Aka was kind of the thing they were peddling to go by. Wow. Right. I mean, music's loss was light entertainment's gain, wasn't it? Because

if, you know, if they're kept at the last day, like they then released the World Cup single when they're Antendek. We're on the ball. But that's, if you're releasing a World Cup single, that doesn't mean you're firmly in the music world, you're, you've got at least one foot in light entertainment. You're probably, you're probably, probably true. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of the big World Cup singles.

I mean, although, you know, some of them, Delemetry, pure, the pure musical acts. Delemetry, nothing like Delemetry. You're gonna take them as Delemetry. I take themselves too seriously. Oh, don't say that. I got true. I got true.

It's a very sad song isn't it, the devil? Yeah, but it's got a right smile to it. I don't know. We're off to win. It's called Don't Come Home Too Soon. Oh. And it's sort of going, look, we know we're not going to win this World Cup, but let's do our best guys.

But that's the problem you see. Then probably does know that song, but he probably wasn't sure whether it was a World Cup song or not, because it sounds a bit like someone singing to their dad who's about to go and work on a Noil rig. Don't come home too soon. No, that's not a good relationship. That's what I mean. There's a lot going on in that song.

You know, you don't get that with fat les. You know, England's Irish. that with fat legs. You know, England's isry. Oh my God, that was great. First time Joe Stronger ever appeared on top of the pops that was refused to go on on a point of principle when he was in the clash. And then for some reason, the key balance coaxed him onto the top of the pops. For some reason. For some reason, yeah. For some reason. Well, that's second childhood for you, see. That was that was strummo going into the autumn of his years. You drop your models, you forget how to tie your shoelaces.

You were able to tie a shoelaces, but he was able to get on top of the pops with his slip-ons. And he's very comfy, cosy slip-ons. You got out the catalog. So, Perry, talk us through this inability to put your, to sort out your shoelaces. How was it manifesting itself? Are you forgetting how to tie them? Do you have to relase a pair of shoes? What was happening? It's one particular set of shoelaces that are problematic. They're occasionally, they're not very easily, they're not easier than

other laces, but I persevere with them. I've grown, I've formed a bond with them now, and now I feel like I'm not just going to replace them but it's something to do with the makeup, the genetic makeup of the laces. And I don't see it like I'm switching the back on science. Away from me. Look, I don't know this guy's but I've got GCSE in science and it's to do with the genetic makeup of the laces You're tying issues with like a double helix, like a DNA. A fight against drugs. He's boasting helix. Is it an ex-bason?

You're asking for a big ol' joke. Google it, Google it, Google it, we're going with it. I can't picture these lasers. Are they too thick? Are they leather? Leather lasers are a nightmare. They're like Adidas. It's just like a pair of gazelles, really. But there's something about these boys, we've not gone. And they've broken and I've tied them so there's like little knots along the way.

Oh no, just by a nice, I there's a lot going on basically, but I feel like I don't want to quit on them now. I've got a pair of problematic lasers at the moment. Where are you, Dastard? Oh, I've got a pair of problematic lasers. Don't fear not guys, and it is right there. Well, you know what, I think that does get to a stage where you go, like, I've gotta switch to Velcro. You know, slip on shoes or Velcro. It's, it's mad Velcro didn't, didn't really take off,

because come on. It's mad, yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on, hang on, wait, Velcro didn't really take off because come on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-bake, percentage wise. Great, you know this. You know this. How many shoes do you think percentage wise? Walk you do a shoe shop in my mind. Yeah, get into that mind palace. I reckon 20%.

What? Adopt shoes, 20% of Adopt shoes are velcro. No one said Adopt shoes. Wow, here we go. You said I walk you into a shoe shop. Okay, okay. The back third is going to be, the back third is going to be,

and again, this is maths. The back third is going to be the kid section, and I reckon half of those are for sure. Did you know what I've heard? The back third's back. All right. No, I'm not right, mate. Wait, what was your initial figure there, Crossway?

I reckon you said 20% and then you said half of 30% of the shop is going to be Velcro. I think you percentage is off. I love that we've got into a mass question organic. I've been wasted by my 30% in a shop that's 20% worth of a palace. And what's the genetic worth of a palace. And what's the genetic makeup of their leases, baby? I think a good evolution for this show, I'm gonna call it a show. It's part of it.

It's part that we do. Oh yeah. Would be at least one expert who is on hand to see us right. We do need this really, don't we? at least one expert who is on hand to see us right. We do need this really don't we? I think that's part of the reason why I'm struggling in sight with my shoe laces. I just think we've gone unchallenged for too long. We need, yeah.

Yeah, exactly, that's it. But isn't this like infinite monkeys, not the box has, but like, they're quite smart. That's some point we're just gonna get a lot of space on that show. Two minutes. Yeah, but we're not infinite. There's three of us. That's true.

And we've only been doing this for a long time, but I don't think long enough that we're going to get everything right as proved by me trying to work out the percentage of about the broch That's going to be that will be out there somewhere though in the coffee. Right. Right. In that CDs came along and took over. Right. That was everything. CDs. You know what? Right. I think Clarke is right when he says, but yes, okay, Burger King have better burgers, but the chips at McDonald's are actually nice, so yeah, Carol Clarke. That is a trick, that is a trick. And also, if you're, you know, Burger King crucially, you are spending a lot more money.

Yeah. So you expect the burger to be bigger and better, But anyway, yeah, sorry, sorry, go back. And also you'll have to repeat what you have to cross the street as well to get to McDonald's outside Paddington, whereas Burger King's right there. It's just right there in the station. Right. In the form seven. Go ahead. Yeah. We really want to get it. Yeah.

Forget it, mate. Val Crowe should have dominated proceedings and it hasn't. Right? Yeah. I'd say home and wiped out shoelaces. Yeah. Like CDs did to cassette. And then the next thing should have come along

that would take out Velcro. But cassette. What? Climb on. Yeah, it is a good point because what is it about Velcro that we can't just accept? It feels you know, it feels like it should be the shoe of the future I think any of the hard work is the noise. I think you say could take out the noise of Velcro then I think every I think

I Think that's what it is. I think you should use to put your shoes on quietly and leave. Does the noise put you on edge or do you think it's just literally too... You can't... There's no stealth to it. Yeah, there's no stealth to it. And it's quite annoying. I think that's enough. And I think there is something somehow childish about the noise. If it was a more sophisticated noise. If when you look at our cross it kind of went...

Ugh. There's Something like that. It's a bit... It's a bit... Mate, I think it's dipped in dog shit. What do you think of that wine? It's so sophisticated. I'll tell you what as well, here's the thing, Velcro doesn't last as long as you think it does.

It doesn't last that long, and it can get stuff in it, it can get kind of get worn down. But I know, because we, obviously with kids, got a lot of Velcro stuff in our house. We've got Velcro bibs, and Velcro bibs, they just don't last. You know, the fasting at the back,

it just starts to get worn away a little bit. And I think that's the problem. With a pair of laces, as you say, Tom, whether your lace breaks, you tie it up again, you can buy new laces, they're relatively inexpensive when it comes to the sort of grand scale of how much shoes cost. So I think that's how it's, that's why they've stuck around.

It's because they're replaceable I hate so like a dick. Oh go on so no I'm gonna thrive on it Where's Magnets in all this I Where's magnets in all this? I'd say I was right months ago, but why aren't we all wearing magnetic shoes? This is an interesting question, actually, Tom. Thank you, Clarky.

Is it because they could attract unwanted things? But then I imagine this, you walk it down the road, get to the end of your journey and you're like oh My my my my shoes just picked up a quit Get yourself a pair of you could they could be called mag pies because you've got mag Magnum it was for track stuff Magpies and they could be the color of pies. They look like pies right a two big Pucker pies. They're filmed with a warm and creamy chicken and mushroom filling or Lovely slip off from the shave. they probably look like pasties. They look like pasties, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you look like pasties that you get from the train station. And as you walk down the street, it's just right there. Could be mag pasties, yeah, yeah. As you walk down the street, all bits of metal and stuff attract. So at the end of the day, you shake off your shoes, you go, what's my haul for the day?

The shoes of the gentle and thief, mag pasties. It's right there, it sells itself. Andy Dassa getting rid of all of Kanye's. Like they're struggling because they're stuck with all of Kanye's weird shoes, aren't they? Yeah, or at least some of these. Yeah, these easy shoes. We could take those and quite easily convert them into... They're not far off looking like pasties.

It's true. Kind of like weird blobs, aren't they? Yeah. Repurposed Yeezy is yeah. Repurposed Yeezy's, mag pasties. Crucially by three people who have got them. I mean, I'm not going to say entirely on problematic views, but less problematic than Kanye. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, when I say I don't want to be a dick, but you don't clench quite as much as you do when you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's the thing I relax. The next thing you're going to say is probably a lyric for Antidek rather than, you know, something outwardly anti-Semitic. Yes.

I think that's fair. That's fair. To my credit. To my credit. To your return. To your credit. To my credit. To your return. To your return. To my credit. I do always err on the side of Antendect lyrics over Antichemism.

But then you know, you never wrote the user's album. So you know, a little from Colomay, a little from Colombe. There's pluses and minuses on both sides. I don't know what the fuss is about with that guy. I'm going to say it right now. I think he's music's fine. Well, he certainly makes a lot of music and some of it's not great, but loads of it is absolutely top level amazing.

But again, he's no antidegrain. He's fine and he's shoes, I'm looking at them right now. I'm gonna say below fine. I'm gonna tell you. I forgot to say Kanye West is here. That's what I'm looking at them right now, I'm gonna say below fine. Oh, it's all good. I forgot to say Kanye West is here. It's my home to home, he's a Rex but... He's here, he's here.

So, it's got Kanye West in his shed. We should've brought him to my side, so I can tell you that for nothing. I'm taking the big dog down. I think he's done a pretty good job, that's it. These shoes. I think if anything, he's loosened the lid of the jam jar. I don't think you need to pop it off. There's got to be in like 50 years time or something. They'll look back and be like,

the people who were in the room when he was pitching what the shoes, the shoes, those shoes. People will be like, yeah, we were a bit blinded by his force of personality there, actually. They'll definitely appear on whatever they say and they'll be like, yeah, I'm a bit blinded by his force of personality there, actually.

They'll definitely appear on whatever they sort of like the 20, 35 equivalent of Buzzfeed lists of like, you know, if you remember these, if you own a pair of these, that kind of thing. They'll be our sort of global hyperculla slap bracelets. It's like the size of your mind global hyperculla is, was compelling at the time. Wow.

Oh yeah, I've break it down for us please, scientist Tom. Yeah, I think it was a lot to do with temperature. Right, yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting. You know what, we don't need the expert. So, for the apples. So the listeners who are young enough to not remember global hyperculla, they were a t-shirt

you would wear that looked a little bit like a tie-dye t-shirt, but crucially they would change color as your body warmed up. So they would start to change color around the armpits. So you might be wearing a yellow t-shirt and you'd have dark orange armpits. I mean, I have that anyway with all my t-shirts. Which is yeah, Which is it? Every day is a global hypercalibur date with Clark. Clarky, of course, famous for wearing his global hypercalibur wife-fronts.

You can really, they left very little to the imagination what are you got going? They were wife-fronts and wife-backs, but they end. LAUGHTER The Clarky-wife range. Is it the way you wearing now? Simply wire. Why?

Why? How's B.J.? Can we get this piece of the liver to move? How's B.J.? If you're a shoe designer, you're working at Adidas. They make some of the most iconic, amazing shoe designs in the history of the Laces. And you come out of like three days with Kanye West and you must have gone home to your partner and gone. Yeah, I don't know, man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, he wore us down, I think. Do you think there's an Emperor's new clothes? Aspect to them.

I'd rather that. I think absolutely. Go there. The Zola Bird approach. Sure. There's no shoes at all. It's meant to be very good for you, you know, like running shoelace, but I just can't imagine

it's very good running through London. Oh, yeah. I once saw Eddie't imagine it's very good running through London I once I once saw Eddie is are she was running through London barefoot. She was training when just before she did all her marathons and I thought you just like if I was gonna do some training and I appreciate that she was running a lot of marathons over lots of different terrains You've got to try everything but Soho of an evening. Oh, barefoot. Yeah, it's tough. Surprise, she's still alive.

Yeah. Oh boy. What you did see was the two strips of magnets that she had on the souls of a- Oh yeah, she was cool. She was cool. I was drinking outside an old tavern with a pewter mug and I was like straight away.

It was attached to his face like a man's acryl. It's hard. Brink my flag and a veil. Just flick two fingers at me. Have a swig. I've done that. What? You started on your point.

No, no, I've done that. I was injured in marathon training and resorted to running barefoot for a week to power through. Oh, wait, on the road. Yeah. Whoa! Through the, I was in Wales at the time and it was kind of through the kind of country lanes.

Can I just say what we're all thinking? Tough guy, tough guy, he's a tough guy, tough little feed because he's a tough guy. Is that what I'm answer to? Yeah, that's a task. Yeah, it's a big end Duncan AKA. They were with me obviously because I'm attached to the grafted to answer just. Was it cold? Was it painful? Did you have to remove anything

from your feet when you got home? It was cold, it wasn't painful. That's not interesting. Because it was cold, maybe, so you kind of got quite numb, quite quickly. And then just the odd little stone. But then ultimately, I, and like, there is a massive kind of running movement of running barefoot. There's been like, yeah, yeah. There's a tribe in South America that are the best distance runners in the world

who all run barefoot. And so it's kind of like, what can we learn from them? And there's a big theory that Nike are responsible for damaging everyone's ability, the way the kind of, there's like a, there's the quite extreme theory. It's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, because of in order to sell shoes, like they've, they've invented all the thing of a spongy heel and all this technology. Yeah. When actually the... The flatter the more contour to the foot, it should be. And genetically, you're designed to run barefoot.

And so anything that impedes that affects the rest of your body. So we're talking about the genetic makeup of actual feet now. Not just shoes. It's... Science, it's moved into science. It's... Wow. Wow. Wow. But we're at the science again. Yeah, well, well, well.

But there's good, but there's good books about it. Did you, or you tempted like once the injury was over, were you tempted to sort of make this, you know, a regular thing, you're gonna go for any of your barefoot runs? Yeah, I mean, I looked into, you can buy shoes that kind of effectively are bare, they kind of protect your soul, but that's all they do,

so that you can run as close to barefoot as possible. They're kind of like those shoes that have like toes in them and stuff like that, like climbers sometimes wear them. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go those ones. I was talking about those from a good life. I've seen people running in the little foot gloves. Yeah, little foot gloves, exactly.

And I was right. Yeah. It's not about how good it makes you feel physically.'s not about how good it makes you feel physically. It's about how good it makes you feel mentally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is an element and I totally get it, but you go, oh, in the same way that when you see, I'd be telling the exact same story if I'd seen Eddie

as I'd running with... For tone shoes. It's as remarkable the foot gloves as it is. I tell you what as well, the foot gloves, more often than not. Velcro. Yeah. That is one type of shoe, it's always Velcro.

Yeah, there's no laces on one of those. Vibram five fingers there, the boys. That's what we're talking about. Five fingers. So I've got a bad fault. Well, it's just you've got a bad body haven't you Clark? I do have a bad body. Yeah, not you're not going to bad physique. You were a gorgeous physique. But below the skin, I think it's falling apart. The bones. The skin. The joy. join altitude of sin. LAUGHTER

But anyway, let's move on from talking about... Well, actually, this is sort of on topic of being old. I wanted to give my kids a treat the other day. I saw that, you know, it's very big at the moment. These immersive experiences. They'll often do like the Van Gogh, or the Frida Kahlo immersive experience, where you're walking. They'll chop your ear off as you go in.

That's it, you're right, chop your off. Chop your own a brow on you, and say, if you go mate. Off you go, bud. Have a good time. LAUGHTER Enjoy the rest of your life. LAUGHTER So yeah, the vangoff experience, you just wait for a starry night and just look up.

That's it. Oh, yeah. It's utterly immersing. You're in a gutter. Of course. Why are you doing that? Yeah, of course. I'll go out and experience as well.

But, so they were doing an immersive experience. I was always thinking, I'll take the kids, I think they might enjoy it, but I've never got round to it. And then I saw the immersive experience of Disney. And I thought, that's right. That's right. I'm not trying to have to, my kids are very little,

they're really into Disney. And each room is different characters, but specifically there's one room, which is an immersive experience where you can see through sort of a series of animations on the walls. Mickey, Pluto, Goofy, Donald, and all the Mickey's pals playing together. And I was like, right, that for Clio is an absolute dream. She's obsessed with Mickey and his pals. She loves that gang. I'll sign up. So I go to the website and it oh, it's only available for people who are H&M, the shop members. And so I go, all right, fine.

Occasionally I'll buy a pair of socks from H&M, so yeah, I'll become a member at H&M. It's free to become a member. Hang on, you have to be a member of H&M to go to the Disney experience. Does the M&H&M stuff for Mickey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. And the H&M stuff for Mickey? It says Mickey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. And the H&M's for Aladdin.

Glad in a Mickey. That's right. So it's Aladdin and Mickey. Good.co.uk and I went through the process and I signed up and I got sent my code and then I went back onto the Disney experience and then I started clicking through to get tickets and work. It was only on for like,

it's only on for a really short amount of time before it moves elsewhere in the world. I think it's off to Germany next. So it's like, great, brilliant. There's still some tickets available. And then as I was going to book the tickets, it said warning, this is an 18 plus event. What?

What? What is my question, right? This is for 18 people who are 18 plus. What are they doing in there? What is this playing together they're doing? Yeah, exactly. Because like, right, and I'm not doing one of these people who's like, if you go to Disneyland and you're in your, in your, in your, in your an adult on your own and you've not got kids

you're a saddo, of course not, I've got to many, many theme parks and fun fairs and stuff as an adult and had a really, really good time. But kids are in my head. It's not for me specifically. It's for kids and families. What's going on there? What's happening that an event like that

is you've got to be an adult to go. Is it like the, is it like a secret club in Disney World? Oh yeah, like a member's bar. Secret bar, yeah. But like the most exclusive bar in the world or something like that. Yeah, I think that's true, yeah. I don't think so.

I don't think the most exclusive club in the world is the H&M members club. I don't think getting, I can't believe you managed to get into that. Getting 30% off one's ears. It also gets you into the most inclusive club in the world. I just, I can't get my head around that. That's actually madness.

I can't work it out. If I lived there was like a scientist nearby who could like talk us through it. Okay guys, it's biology and the answer is Disney sex party. And there we go. And there we go. Let's earn everybody. Thanks for clearing that up mate.

Cause it's been driving me up the wall. But you made these away. You still got those tickets. Yeah, I've got stuff still. Hey, hey, Janine. Yes, I know more like. Sindoella and Mickey. Yeah. I don't know.

I think we're going to say salad in. Saladin and Mickey. Surely you've got to go purely in a journalistic sense so you can report back. What were the prices? What were the price of the tickets? I don't know, like not hugely expensive in the grand scheme of things, but I think about sort of 20 quid, maybe. Because I like not, it's not cheap, but something like that.

We need to know. We need to know. And 18 plus event. Could you put your kids one on top of the other in a coat? It's not cheap, but something like that. We need to know. We need to know. And 18 plus event. Could you put your kids one on top of the other in a coat? I mean, I do that anyway. Just fun. Just see how someone to talk to.

Is yeah. And then there'd be much, much taller than me if I did that. So I guess. I'm hoping they're not going to grow much taller in the moment. Yeah, I just can't work out why, you know, like, I appreciate Disney's for everybody, but Mickey and friends. Who are these, like, who are these people working on? You know who his friends are though.

His friends are, you know. I was going to say, I know, you know, I'm just saying. It's still that didn't everybody. What are you going to say? I was just trying to think of inappropriate people that Mick would be friends with. Can do. But I don't think the problem is an 80.

It's not an 18 plus event. That's not the problem with Kanye. It's not that he's like a bit, it's not an 18 plus event, that's not the problem with Kanye, it's not that he's like a bit, he's not too hot for TV, Clarky. He's not nude, rude and totally looted. I'd love so you can stop up to your feet. How's BD? In Mickey's defence, he is kind of like... ...his old now, isn't he? So maybe he's sick of hanging around with kids. Maybe he wants a whisky and cigar and talk about the old times.

Do you think he's cool? Because he was born in 1933. Yeah. So he'd be like come and pull a pussy. Oh, it was different back then, wasn't it? Oh, no, I was like an audience with the Tawd that Danny Baker's doing at the moment. What are you guys telling us? This anecdote is about meeting Rick Wakeman from yes. We go. Puccino is back in the country, you know um do you think he can go and see Pacino's?

Pacino live. I watched a trailer for it the other day and it seemed a bit bleak. It was like in a marquee and you cupped to get your free glass of champagne and then you sit down and it looks like it looked like a wedding reception. And he goes from there to take a moment and says thanks for coming. I think so and then he sits on the stage and talks a lot. So it's like, that's the bit that I'd like, but the setting made it feel slightly bleak. Right, yeah. We'll just get there 20 minutes late.

Just go straight to the take, just wait till you see your car coming in. And then you walk in as well. If you don't want to do for all the weddings, I go to just wait for the speeches to kick in and then arrive. Buy your own botanical champagne, drink it in the car park. Yeah. Get wait for the speeches to kick in and then arrive by your own botanist champagne drink it in the car park Get there for the speeches

How how long do you think you could hold Court for an evening with yourself Like if that event is going on Like is it time to have less wife thing again? Like if that doesn't just go in on like and is it time to have a wife thing again? Like how confident are you like the organizers go okay? So, you know, well ask your questions about your career you can give some advice you can you know whatever the pain You know 30 quid a ticket they get a free gas of champagne How long do you think we should put down what thing you know what this is instantly is instantly making me swear

should put down what this is instantly making me swear. I hate the thought of this. I've wiped my pants. If they pay 30 quid, let's think about it. So if the glass of champagne, you know, if it's proper champagne, you might be talking 15 quid of glass, you know, so right straight away, you're off the hook for half the ticket price. 50%. That's great. See, the mental matter is, it is working. If you get yourself a top celebrity guest to chat to you, right? Yeah, then already people are going, um, why are we hearing about that?

I know, I know, I know, I know. I could say that, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good problem. It's that trap. It's got to be somebody who is, uh, in the same sphere as you, if you bring a brandy Cooper, then suddenly it's an evening we'll brought the Cooper.

Yeah, good point. Good point. So someone a little bit lower than Bradley Cooper, but, uh, around, around kind of clocky level. So someone a little bit lower than Bradley Cooper, but around kind of Clarky's level. So we're talking about the Clarky. It's Clarky, but it's you by the two of us, yeah. That's right, yeah, yeah. So it's the two of us, interior and Clarky,

and we charge you a 30-quit ticket, but you do get a glass of champagne. I reckon the thing with it is, we'd have to, like, we know a lot of Clarky's stories, but Clarky, crucially,, like we know a lot of Glocky stories, but Glocky crucially, you don't know a lot of your... No, sorry. You'd have to actually pay the 30 quid because you'd be getting as much of a good show as anybody else.

Because it would be us going to be seeing and you'll say, what? No, I don't remember that. And then we'd have to tell the story to you. But I reckon we could do 45 minutes comfortably. How long is Pachino doing? We could do an hour on Clarky. Yeah, but I think that is the fundamental shift isn't it talking about someone else. But the like Pachino's doing himself and it's an evening with, he's organizing, he's book, he's gone along they're like, you know, he's gone along with. Yeah. You got it. It's about, it's you talking about you.

It's the, because I'm the same. I don't, I, I'm always quite surprised and delighted to hear stories about myself. Of course, I go, yeah, I've completely forgotten that. Yeah, that does sound like me. Yeah, you got like, oh yeah, yeah, I remember that. That was, yeah, that was funny. Oh, that was good. Yeah, you go like, oh yeah, yeah, I remember that. That was the end, that was funny. Oh, that was good.

Oh, really? I remember. But. Yeah. Oh. Okay, anyway, moving on. So, different time. So, but you're going to go like, I,

look, everyone was wearing those kind of shoes, right? Everyone loved it, right? It was all the rage, it was all the rage. So I just think it's you yourself knowing what you could do. Do you fancy getting to an hour? Have hericons stories from my life for an hour? I mean I could, I think I could do it, I reckon I could do it, but you know it's really very much in the audience's hands, isn't it? It's like, is there an audience for it? I would say crucially no. Yes.

I think the glass of champagne is doing a lot of work. The glass of champagne, yeah. You'd expect the glasses. I think I'm actually, like, I would, just before the show, I would panic and I would run out and I would go and buy several punnets of raspberries. To pop them into the glass of champagne to be like, so people go, oh, this is a bit nice, isn't it? It's got to be a really good glass of champagne. It's got to be a good glass of champagne.

My show would be called A Sentence with Ben and two glasses of champagne. Yeah. Mine would just be called Pinter Wine. Question mark. Pinter be called Pinter Wine. Question mark. Pinter Wine. Pinter Wine and Foughty. I can't say that, Barry.

Pinter Wine and Foughty. Pinter Wine and Foughty minutes from Paris. That doesn't sound like a bad evening, does it? No, exactly. I mean, I've done it many times. What? Even when we're not drinking, you just do before you meet me. You know, make it bearable.

You always just think my teeth is that color, is that? When are you doing it, Perry? What time of the evening are you doing it for the Pike and Wildlife? Because you can't do a maths and air fight of wine, can you? Exeter cricket club, 5 p.m. on a Sunday, afternoon. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, yeah.

That's great. I'd love that. Yeah, quite a while, we'll parry. And there's a raffle. Oh! Oh, you got it. There's a raffle of souvenirs from my career and life. That's great. Are you DJing afterwards? Are you playing the songs that you've been up to for years?

Yeah, that's it. Let's pique it. This is it, Clarkie, because you have to think about how you can extend what you can give. Right? So look, your chat might be brief. Then sing as a bloody song mate. Pick a nice song and sing it mate. It's a American pie, right? Draw it in the house. A slow down version of American pie.

With the first line of the song. The first line is a long, long, long time ago. The first line is a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago. When my mother was in labor, it was in a hospital. In Wolverhampton, I was born from my mother's womb was torn. And I thought that one day I'd be a sketch comedian. And then I'm going on you going to the 2005.

We thought about Edinburgh. And it's your whole, you know, so you've actually done a little bit of chat and then your life story to American pie You've done the same show twice basically Yeah, but what's that you've done you've done the show and then the musical the musical yeah And then Hamilton style rap of it Yes, I'm happy to do it get Antoncai, lift their shirt up in a cum. He was Benedict. Oh, David Clark!

He wasn't bright but he had a spark for music. I'm telling you true. You'd have to Anton Deca be expensive, I guess, but you need them there if you want me. Yeah. Although what you don't really want is someone says, how's the show last night? And someone in the other person goes, you know what, Decker, they're... I was buying that. Bags on their heads?

Which one are you grafted to? Deck, he's grafted to Dex back. So why does that need to be there? We just try to keep him safe. I'm out of hand, everyone. I'm out of hand, that's my turn. He's one of Dex motto. I'm grafted to Dex Chest.

Get me out of here. That's why I'm out of here. That's the evening with Tom Parry. It would be a bizarre show, wouldn't it? If you go, you walk into the theatre, you sit down, the lights come up, the curtains open and onstage is deck. And that big round of applause obviously, but then the unbuttoned is shirt, opens it up,

you talk for 40 minutes, then you do a rap, and he closes shirt and he walks off the stage silently and people are like, oh, well that's not what I expected that show to be. For another lovely seconds. Loved it. The reviews are in. Not what I expected to actually to be. I love it. I love it. I loved it. The reviews are in. Not what I expected it to be.

Deck is kind of like a... That's not quite the right type of figure. It's not easy. Well you all crang. Deck is like, whatever the dude was who crang was operating. You are right Ben, it does make it awkward for Ant. Because it's awkward enough for deck, but at least I'm grasped into this chest. Yeah, tricky times, but nevertheless 30 quid and a free point of wine. Can't complain. Crossby, I fancy your chances. I fancy your chances at,

you know, celebrity anecdotes and then, you know, maybe a meet and greet. Yeah. I mean, I'd start and I'd say, I'll tell you what, nice shoes you're wearing, mate. The book of the front row. I remember someone not wearing shoes. I was in Soho and there you go. And off you go, just do it. It would all be like memories flowing from different clothing items.

Audience members clothes. Yeah, yes, nice. I'd have to have a lot of plants in the audience. Where in like... Memories about plants. Yeah, yeah, it's nice. I'd have to have a lot of plants in the audience, wait, like. Every spot plants. Yeah, yeah. We're a plant. But you want to see what I saw, page of plant.

What, is the champagne just being poured into the soil? There's a geranium with a cummerbund on. What a memory. A Benedict Cumberbund. And by Benedict Cumberbund. I mean Clarky. Clarky starts sweating profusely. No, no, no. Turn from down the bow. Clarky is someone in the audience, eat together, American pie. Get out of here. My mom wearing into the labes. Well, maybe we team up, make it a three-act show. I tell you what, why don't we put

on a show together? That's a good idea. I reckon if the three of us got on a stage, we might have something. It's going to take a little bit of work. But I reckon we should try it. Who's in? Go on, mate. It's having subtitles on a foreign film cheek. How meeting. Well, there you go.

Another day, another house meeting. House meeting. It was a lovely time. I'm almost inspired by that to go back to school. Yeah, I feel like we all should. Because there's no hope for us really if we don't. What subject would you be like, what do you think I'd still be good at that? History.

I don't still. History. I'd still be good at that? History. Oh, still? History. I'd love to go back and do history. Yeah. And you think you'd still, if you were to sort of start GCSE history now, you'd be able to. I always had the attitude. You've been off geography, love history.

And that was like just, that was from my gut. And I still feel that way now. I think geography can do one. I'd really like to know geography now. But I'd also like to say, see you're the into my yang. Yeah, that's why we need each other. What are you doing, what are you doing, Crosby?

We've got geography and history covered. I'd like to go back and reset my theology A level, yeah. Cause I think I could bump it up from a C. I reckon I could. I reckon I could get an A in theology A level. If I tried now. Matthew, the C stood for Christ. But the H stands for.

It's certainly what I said. It's certainly what I said when I read the results. Oh, Christ. Right. Okay, well what I said when I read the results. And I was like, oh, Christ, right. Okay, well none of the universities I wanted to get into, I'll be going to. You know what the C's did for? Canterbury. What's the thing?

I can't take the C out of Canterbury. Everybody there got the C. I remember saying to my head of six home, could the C stand for Cambridge? And he's like that. I don't know exactly. The sea stands for Can you fuck off my office now please? Go tell your students to happen.

Well today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham Team. Cheers everyone! Bye! produced by EverCourseham. Courseham, Tim. Cheers everyone, bye! Bye! Will you please be upstanding for the Patreon neighborhood What's Raw Corp? Ch-ch-ch-p-ch-p-ch-p-ch-p-p-ch-p-p-ch.

Here comes Manon Phillips. Hehehe, Annie Bella. What you gonna do? Hang out with me and drink some stellar? Oh Oh, let me tell you now I'm dancing just like this Because I have got a pain in my lower back. That's great.

I'll chase the rules as well apparently. Just gonna go out my eggs and bains. Okay. Oh, let me do that dance. The one that makes me itch. And when I do that dance dance I always see my friend rich With my friend him I feel rattle Well, I've got a rash they think it's a fungal infection

Well, I've got a rash. They think it's a fungal infection. I thought it was X-Murban moisturizing it to my distress. Oh no! Well, I said that to my friend, a Steve Brennan. And now I'm using anti-fungal cream. It's getting better. Yo! Chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk I gotta get a rewind! I gotta been brushing my gums right and that who's caused the problem. Had his whole bed to nickel and she was very understanding. Oh he was too. I do not know but I'm going back to the dentist in three months When I dance it makes me aching my bones, but then I get a boost from that chipper Martin Jones That concludes today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call What about where you walk in storm puddin. Sorry about all your ailments by the way