Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Karaoke Sting Duet) S12E26

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. There's a microphone growing from Matthew meaning that day Tom and night Clarky have to f*** on his face.NEXT LIVE SHOW9th October at The Cheerful Earful festival in Balham - https://www.designmynight.com/london/pubs/balham/the-bedford/cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-day-4Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Matthew. I'm Ben. And Tom will be on the episode proper, but he's just not around for this intro, but don't let that worry you. It's going to be fine. I'm really worried, mate. Yeah, and I could tell you nervous, man. I'll tell you what happened to me the other day, please. This was such a strange little coincidence, but I was on the train going into town, and I saw, you know, when the train's pulling into the station on the journey, you'll often look at the people who are about to get on the train.

It's just one of those things, people watching, right? And it pulled in, I think it might have been a Luisham station, it pulled in, and I saw a couple, and they were very smiley, very sweet looking couple. Probably I would say in their early 30s maybe and I saw them and my immediate first thought was, oh my goodness, they seem like a re-nice couple, right? They seem like they just look really nice, right. It's a weird thought to have about, you

know, because ordinarily, I look at people, I think, quite the opposite, but it was quite no vibe. You know how those couples that are like trying to pick up singles in bars and be like, we like your vibe? Are you like the opposite of that? Are you trying to pick up couples? I've certainly put myself out there, yeah. I love it. If any couples want to adopt me, there'll be no intercourse, but if you can feed me, I'll be very happy with that. So anyway, didn't think too much more about it. The train arrives at London Bridge, and I hop off,

and I see the couple hopping off at the same stop as me. and I sort of smile at them Because I thought they look nice, right? I think I shouldn't really it's quite weird because then they look at me like Like they look at me a little bit a little bit so like what's what's going on here? So anyway, I hop off the train and I carry on a carry on my journey and off the train and I carry on my journey. And then they come back over to me and they say, excuse me, are you Matthew? And I said, yeah.

And they said, oh, weird, we're, you know, nice to meet you. We're with Tom and Charlotte, we're members of the Patreon. Oh. And I was like, what are, like what are bizarre, little coincidence that I clocked him. And I thought, they looked nice. They looked like a really nice couple.

He was the thing, though. Something about their aura, something about their glow. Is it a coincidence or are we just drawn to our patience? I should say as well, Tom was Tom Perry. All right. Well, then the rest of the story doesn't make a difference. No, I didn't say that it was a different story. It's terrible, mate. No, I've just been getting to see the one that was off the table. No, they're not.

No, two complete strangers, very, very lovely, but actually turned out to not be complete strangers. They were listening to the ears. They were big fans of the podcast, so much so that they joined the Patreon. This is not an advert for the Patreon, obviously. Love it if you join the Patreon. But I think people who are members just have that certain

glow, that certain aura around themselves. And if you have that glow, come join us. Yeah. Or do you think maybe if you don't have that glow, come join us and you'll get it. Nice, crossing, that's the way. That's the way to do it. So either way, if you've got it. Either way. You know, it's like those slightly nafscience outside pubs that say,

you know, like it's like a sort of a diagram you have to follow and it says, are you happy? Yes and no. And both answers lead to coming side and drink some beer. Right. Yes. Obviously, if you are medically unhappy, then I don't think drinking beer is going to solve your problem. No. No. No. Therapy. Just got the session real hard. Apocalypse will. Well, who knows? So it may not cure your unhappiness, but it might be a temporary diversion for about half an hour.

So this was a chat we had a couple of weeks ago, back when Tom was still talking to us. It was a good time. I was a better time. It was a better time. Well, was it? No, I think about it. No, it was. It was a better time. But I'm sure he'll get over his worries and he'll come back and jack to us soon.

He's just, he just said he needs a little break once in a while because let's face it, the two of us rub him up the wrong way, something chronic. Arora's a too much. There's no warm glow coming off us, like the Ready-Break boy. So yes, also as well, thanks very much to the kind judges of the British podcast awards who awarded us gold for Best Live Podcast. I don't go and check the actual results. Okay, don't need to have a look. But yes, we won gold, gold, best live podcast.

We also, we also won gold in Best Wellbeing Podcast for the chat I had about being I'm happy just now So you're a contours for your advice guys You're very welcome guys, you're very welcome Anyway, enjoy this episode and we will speak to you on the other side of the episode I've had a thought, I've got an issue you on the other side of the episode. Why on earth am I always weak? How stupid be it? Who went my bed while I was sleeping? This have a house meeting.

What's the point? Does life have a meeting? House meeting. So yesterday, I've got to tell you this. Okay, please do. This is blowing my mind. So yesterday while I was opening up the box of an Amazon delivery,

yeah, I thought I got the box of an Amazon delivery. Yeah, I thought I got stung by an insect. Oh. So, had you ordered an insect off Amazon? My aunt's nested arrived. Right. My aunt's nested arrived. It was completely empty, but I've been itching ever since.

No, I hadn't ordered an insect. I'd ordered a birthday present for my daughter, a little karaoke machine, and I was opening up. But it wasn't in, you know, like sometimes, if it's come from like an outside cellar, it won't be in an Amazon box, it'll be in basically the box of what it is. Right, and it kind of bit taped up with the label

on the front. I don't know if that plays into it, let's find out. So anyway, I thought, I sort of opened up the box, used the paracises to open up the tape, opened up the box, thought I got stung by an insect. And it was one of those things where it was like, it was like a sharp pain, but not like unbearably painful. But then my wrist started to like burn,

like a sort of strip across my wrist started to burn burn and it sort of burnt like my skin went red. Right, right, all around my wrist. And I took a couple of anti-histamins, I thought well, you know, I couldn't, I also I couldn't find like the bites. There was like a bit that hurt more than the other bits, but I couldn't find the bites, you know, the little raised bit.

So I didn't really think that much more about it. Occasionally during the day I looked down on my wrist, was still glowing a bit red and be a bit sort of buzzy, but not really aching. Anyway, it doesn't hurt at all today, but when I was eating my lunch, I looked down at my wrist, all the hair has fallen off. What? Yes. So I don't know if you can see this, but like there, can you see that there? Yeah.

I'm completely bald on my wrist. So compare it to the other hand, where I've got hair just, you know, there, I've got this bald strip. So I'd, What's happening to me? It's the, I mean, I don't know why I'm asking you rather than, I mean, I know I'm asking you,

because if I ask the internet, it'll say, you've got cancer and you have an heart attack and call my night and I'll meet it, me. I bit more optimistic with that. I think you're going to turn into a radioactive karaoke machine. Oh, this is the dream. I think you've been bitten by a karaoke machine and you're about to start to know every word to every song and I don't know whether you'll be able to fight crime with this. The hair loss from the body is to sort of make me more smooth, you know, streamline on the dance floor.

It's making it look more like a mic stand. I think your process is your hands going to turn into a microphone. You're awake on the stage. On the way home in the morning and you're kind of like your fingers will be in like a bicycle running into a microphone. Here he comes. It're kind of like your fingers will be in like a person running into microphone. Yeah, he comes to carry. Okay. That ballstrap will become like one of that like a red line like in the in the base of a

mic. Yeah. Yeah. So one of your hands will be a microphone. Well, that mean that the rest of my arm is going to be incredibly thin like a jack lead or am I, is it just going to be like, you know, what are you saying it'll be unaffected? I'm trying to work out where the words are going to turn up on you in his glasses. Oh, yeah, on the inside of my glasses. Well, I mean, if you, if I was a karaoke machine for other

people to use, then presumably like my torso would be the perfect place for the words to be. Well, there's a pretty rough to look at your torso. So I want this as a long song. Why is he unbuckling his belt? Here comes the middle eight. Once the hair's gone, I think it's actually like a pretty good smooth canvas. It's pale, certainly.

It's pale enough for lyrics to sort of be projected onto. Beautiful. I think this works, actually. How can you use this to fight crime is the big question? Because Spider-Man didn't just stay in his room and make a web Did he? He didn't just hang out obviously. No, it's no good. You just holding up and you know churning himself out for children's birthday parties although you might do a roaring trade there kind of halfway house between Mr. Tumble and

Well a human You might do a roaring dried there. Kind of halfway house between Mr. Tumble and, well, a human karaoke. I mean, the phrase halfway house is... A full way house. A full way house between a human karaoke machine and nothing else. Yeah. Yeah, a full way house of a human karaoke machine. That's your advert.

That should go into it. Yeah. It sounds like all the other bits of branding we've ever done for any of our projects. It's like confusing. Not necessarily immediately appealing. Puppy's full way else. The human karaoke machine, though,

is like it feels like I should be singing the songs, right? So what's happening is that I arrive at the party, say okay, you know what song is your kid want to sing And they they say baby shark and then they they you know, I key it into myself presumably just for you know For various reasons I don't know where it just depends where the key area is doesn't it? We get to find out we We yet to find out. I say listen, if it's the first half of the alphabet, you're fine. Second half of the alphabet, have you got a bathroom

I can use very briefly to cord myself off and keying that? If you want to perform anything by XTC, believe you may, we at least need a screen around my waist. Like you might have to change out of a towel at the beach. Well, I mean, the second they start asking for a second microphone is when we're in. I tell you what, that was a bit eye with the ZZ top, wasn't it? LAUGHTER

The ZZ bottom could have done with one of those beards. LAUGHTER So then they would grab me by the hand, this poor child, and they would hold my hand towards their mouth, right? And sing, read your fist at their mouth. I'd point my fist at their mouth, leaving obviously a safe distance. I'm not clocking someone in the face. And unless they're criminal kids... Well, this is it, isn't it? Because that's the element I forgot we were aiming for, which is the crime fighting aspect. Yes, that's a good point.

So, rather than kids, does it want to be that I'm the human carry-com machine? And, you know, because gangs, right? You know, like, Maffioso gangs, you know, kind of criminal gangs who are sort of importing stuff on the black market. They must want to cut loose once in a while. And they would have had a really good week of, you know, I don't know, shipping heroin from the docks into the cities. Yeah.

Then they might go, well, let's cut loose with a cut, you know, if you dolly part in that case. I'm thinking of, you know, that Ray Winston Phil way sang in the Avon News and Allie Ways. Love on a No Bay. I'm always thinking about Love on a No Bay. You know, always close to busting out a tune. Good fellas, do they think? I mean, there's certainly lots of music in it, isn't there? Yeah, exactly. You know, the score says he movies famously,

that famous for their use of soundtrack. They're the big two, the big two, the big two Mafia films. The big two gangster movies of all time. Good fellows and love that run away. Of course. In the other news and alleyways. Mostly improvised, probably. What a show.

I mean that is impressive. I might watch it after all. Yeah, they improvised the whole thing. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. What were they thinking? Okay. Well, I mean, welcome to the gang.

I guess you're like a last superhero gang. Oh. Human- the human carry-exit. If you're like a super hero gang. Oh. The human carry accident. If you've got a name, you can't be the human carry-over machine. Surely you've got to be blah, blah. It's like, it'd be like sing star or slub, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You lyrics.

What about lyrics with an X? That sounds quite like a rapper. Yeah. Does it? Does it? Good boy. Good boy. Does it? Does it? Good for you. Is that a bad thing?

No. We've got to aim for the, you know, we've got to kind of capture the Gen Z market. But we've already done that with all of our love on or an obey references. What about, like, my name is, you know, like, in the way that when, like, the Penguin in the know like in the way that when like the penguin in the Batman in the Batman TV show would want to go undercover, he would use an alias that

was so close to his name like he'd be like PN Gwen. What is my name? What is your name? What is your name? What if my name was Carrie Okie. Okie, you know what I say? It's a bit of a like, you know, like, that was my under, that was my under-covering, Carrie Okie.

Yeah, great. In fact, if he was a comic book, I'd be called Carrie Okie before any of the, you know, any of that would happen. It would just be a happy coincidence. You're turning to lyrics. Lyrics, yeah. Carrie Okie by day, lyrics by night,

where I would go for a trace. The way you just described it. No, maybe it's because you've liked the penguin, but now I see you more as a supervillain. Well, you've heard me sing, haven't you? So yeah, I can see you like, you know, waltzing around a bank vault, singing sending the clowns and like, I did it my way and like, everyone's closing in and you're making his escape for the avenues and alleyways We don't know where his Larry's We don't know where his layer is. I'm actually on the top of nowhere, my beautiful boy.

Just so great when you're downtown. Get in the car, let's go, go, go. I believe he's not a good villain, but he's a lot of fun. You can only communicate in songs, now we're getting somewhere. OK, now here we go, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the end of short circuit, too, when they play...

LAUGHTER Have we got two... Well, we're's a film club. How's it? I live in a house made of iron sheet. I was going to go for what this has made me, I'm sure I've talked about this before, but Hudson Hawk as well, where they tie him there.

They tie him there, heists to songs because Hudson Hawk's well where they tie him there. They tie him there heists to songs because Hudson Hawk's thing is he knows the length of every classical song in the like American song book. So they'll go like the alarm will go off in three minutes, 20 seconds and they'll go, hmm, three minutes, 20 seconds, Mac the Knife. Okay, so rather than synchronizing watches, they both start singing Mac the Knife and as they rather than synchronizing watches they both start singing Mac the Knife and as they're doing it they can they sync up doing that. That's so great. It's so great. It's so brilliant.

That feels like slated as well, isn't it? That's great. Well I think I think it might be shit. It's really good. That like that really good idea might not be enough to save the film but we can rewind We would like to know that they were carrying around metronomes, wasn't it? So we're gonna finish this record list of deer and then we're gonna watch love on or an abay short circuit two and Hudson hawk Hello, all right, of those three, if you had to put your money on it,

which one holds up the best? I mean, surely not short circuit two. Can't be, can't be. It can't be. It can't be. I was just about to say no. I think that's the one I thought I wanted to watch the most, but yeah, it's time to hold.

Well, that's got the Fisher Stevens, who's obviously now brilliant in succession, but it's got the dubious racial character in that. Yes. I think of the old thing. I think. I mean, it should be robot roles for robots, really. But it was the ATs, you know, it was.

But I can't. You're gone. Does he have an insult in that, when he's like, your mother was a snow blooper? Yeah. Do you have any of that? Yeah. And we, I never understood it.

Is it like no? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really tickled by. Just popped back into the head there. Who says it? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should. Don't drag it through the dirt. I mean to be honest she worked two, three days a year in Bromley.

Yeah I mean it's not you know you bought all the equipment and then you're sitting there you're waiting for the cold words and it rarely does. You're waiting for the cold snap yeah. Yeah. I guess that's why it's an insult because this is just such an idiotic profession Your mother doesn't get as much work as she would do if she were living in a different area. Yeah Correct your salt and that if short circuit two was made no a days they'd have to use that as the insult Yeah, I mean, I think of the three

Love on a no-bye would hold up the best Love, honor and obey would hold up the best. I mean, I can't be. It can't be that surely not. That's where they, as you've got to see where they all take Viagra and start jabbing each other with their erections. I'm sure elected. Hudson Hawk, the society day. Hudson Hawk, they're just singing songs to do heist, right?

I mean, yeah, it's got, it's got, richly grown in it. You know, it's got a good pedigree, but I don't, I, I still thinkists, right? I mean, yeah, it's got, it's got, Richie Lee Grant in it, you know, it's got a good pedigree, but I don't, I still think love on an obey is gonna, it's gonna hold up better. But there's only one way to find out. Join us next time. What? What?

What? Papi's Gen Z film club. What would you all super hero? Where would you be led, Clarky? If you had anything close to a radioactive incident in the last week? Well, actually, I've got a very nasty bite on my shin from what I thought was an insect,

but it could have been, I don't know, a karaoke machine. Is there a plague of them inside these London? Yeah, ever since that lucky voice opened. It's the hot weather, really drove them in. So, and can I ask off looking at the bite, lucky, what's the, what's the hair situation around it? I just got a point. No, I still got it? I was good point. No, I still got hair, I still got hair. That's the weird bit because I've been bitten by insects before many times.

I'm like, I'm delicious to insects. You know, insects love me. If I go on on just insects, mate. Yeah, if I go, thank you. If I go on holiday, I'm getting them. My ankles, my knuckles, particularly juicy to midget ice cream. Yeah, anywhere with this,

anywhere with this like pulse points, you know, you can, you know, like, they can always see that. They can always see that they can see the veins, you know, like I think, yeah, I'm having a bit of that. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. My wife's the same, and you know what, I get a little bit, I'm a bit peeved. Yeah, some people just are.

Something that I'm not, like she's very popular with the mosquitoes, like she gets a lot of attention and I get nothing. And I, I don't be honest, I'm prime ribbier, don't I make? Yeah, oh my God, yeah. If I was looking at the two of you, I would think, yeah, I think you're the one who's gonna be, you get the most feeding out of you.

I could see myself nibbling around your ankles all night and I have done on tour. It's a juicy guy. It's a juicy guy. When our house was last, when our last flat got fleas, Cosmo went from being an indoor cat to being an occasional outdoor cat and brought

fleas into the house. I was the only one, because they typically travel on animals, they don't really like to travel on humans. And so they didn't affect Cleo, didn't affect my wife at all. I was the only one who got flea bitten. But I think that's also, it might also be due to the fact that I am quite a hairy person, you know. I'm quite a... So is my wife. No, she... She... I think insects are attracted to hair. No, no, I'm saying please. No, I'm not very hair person. No, I was saying please in that instance are attracted to hair. Yeah, you're kind of out of the three of us again, I'd say, I'd say that Tom would be

the best to eat and you would be the most like a dog. Yeah, I think that's fair, yeah, yeah. If you had to nest somewhere, I think I'd provide you a lot of nesting area. I think I could definitely, there's plenty of different parts of my body which would provide an adequate nest for a parasite I said sadly not the back of your hand anymore It's an absolute land where you're adding strip. I'm going to pit every time Yeah, I must be the yeah, yeah, yeah warm Dan doesn't see a lot doesn't see a lot of action

You could you could you probably be I reckon you'd be safe there for a good few months Yeah, yeah, warm. Dan doesn't see a lot, doesn't see a lot of action. You could, you could, you could, you could probably be, I reckon you'd be safe there for a good few months. It's, it's, it's, it's kind of, um, uh, it's out of the sunlight. It's out of the direct sunlight for most of the time. I think it probably, go on. I'm thinking belly button. No way, no way, because I reckon, I reckon, no, there'll be people, you know, I certainly, from my person experience,

I'm plucking Link out of there, flinging out. I think you know, you don't wanna, you don't know what you're gonna do. But the signs of things, an insect would be safe in Clarkies belly button. Oh yeah. That's what we've learned. What we've learned is Clarkies doesn't wash his belly button

and I don't learn, wash my armpits, that's what we've learnt is Clarky doesn't watch his belly button and I don't look, watch my armpits, that's what we've learnt. I think it can be safe in my belly button as well, Clarky, I was about to say I think that's a good one. So maybe Crosby just gives his belly button a bit more. You're rooting. Yeah. Just some always in there. What'd you get a couple more but in there? No, I just the whole fist and I fit my whole fist in my very one. The whole microphone.

That's the whole microphone in there. And you get feedback. I just get a strong word. Yeah, I was like, stop doing that. Stop doing that. I'm running from earth. Goat impressions. Let's hear bleeding.

Hashtag. Yeah, no, I don't ever, it's one of those places where every couple of years I'll have a really pleasingly pungent, you know. Oh, no, no, smell like that. No, no, no, no, no. I can't have that, we can't have, we can't have this, mate. Is that not like, is that not like, no, no, no, no, we can't have that, we can't have, we can't have this mate. Is that not like, is that not like, no, no, you've got to, you've got to wash every part of your body Tom. There's all that been in short circuit too. It's not allowed anymore, is it?

Times have changed. Human beings wash themselves now Tom. I know you're still living in the days of the Eurovict Viking Centre. I don't know, he's going to be such a snowblower about it. I wouldn't put a snowblower anywhere near your belly button. The debris, the debris that would fly off in our direction. The only way I could get it clean. It would not like fucking Earth song. It would be...

We ain't night there. Oh my God. I do think a lot about, like, in a space, was my favourite film, it was going to old films, that kind of journey through the human body. It has always been fascinating to me. The fans have to think like, yeah, and you kind of think like, the life of those kind of,

you know, a might must have it pretty good. You kind of think, you think? Yeah, well, there were two reasons. I could use racist stuff. About the insects that like live in your pores, and they come out of your pores at night time and then shack on your face. Did you hear this?

You see, isn't it? And like not everybody's got them, but lots of people have them. And they... Let's face it. I've got it. You've got it. I've got it.

It's fucking face. Let's fucking face and face. They're hunting, meaning in my stash, man. You've got some fucking face. I've got... Crosby's where they host the series of the internet. And what am I typing in? Well, I first of all, I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet.

I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the internet. I'm going to go to the you what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to the world of the internet.

And what am I typing in? Well, I first get to the word. Don't type the word internet into the internet. That's not what it's. Very tricky. OK, I was fucking. Foccus. OK.

I'm going to say, inside. Why are there snow blowers, please? Insect. I'm curious. Insects. Insect face sex. Insect face sex. Here we go, yeah, that was enough to get it there.

Tiny eight-legged creatures have sex on your face while you sleep. I don't need to know about this. Science, come on, science. I know what. You know what, come on, science, come on my face. Because I think my face, my face, my face, I feel like that's the beach. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. And it's so it's quite exciting that that's where they're going to get down. You know what I mean? It's very romantic. Fucking on your forehead. They're also very smart. It's a far away from my belly button as possible. So, you know, they'll be like, look, we visited the, the, the, the dormant volcano. That's not your belly button, Tom. It's not dormant, mate. Obviously, it's, it's very active. Weirdly coincidentally, if you mentioned in Vesuvius, the little sidebar, his tourist fell into Mount Vesuvius after taking selfie and ignoring signs. Oh, you hate to hear that, don't you? Yes, I'm sure.

Anyway, tiny eight-legged creatures have sex on your face while you sleep. So it reveals new research. The mites invisible to the naked eye are in the skin of all humans and have bizarre mating habits. In twine couples, cling onto our hair as they copulate, the bug world's version of swinging from the chandeliers. They are passed on during birth and carried by almost every person. Numbers peaking adults as poor grow bigger.

I've got big Irish poor and I must have tons of them. Now, scientists have lifted the lid on the secret lives of the critters from body features to their evolutionary future. Apparently they might die out. The mic to mic die out. I mean, what's the secret? I guess we have to just try and rub your face on as many other faces as possible. Preferably, as preferably very, very little babies.

You know, that's what I, you know, that's what you've got, I mean, maybe that's why you've got to do skin to skin when you've got a new baby. It's not, it's actually got nothing to do with bonding between the parents and the kid. It's to do with keeping this little mic, to use it right.

You think the mic's right, the article. I think so. I think so. Hang in there a sec. Who is it written by? Written by... M. I.T. Yes.

We'll never know. Yeah, we'll never know. Who knows. I was waiting for what you know. I was waiting for what you know. And it was solid. M. I.T. P.N. Gwyn.

M. I.T. Shayamalan. Hang on a sec. A hot twist. A.T. P.N. Gwyn. M. I.T. Shayamalan. Hang on a sec. A hot twist. A hot twist in this story. Oh, hang on a sec. The twist is that we are actually the bugs. Oh, yeah. That's the M. I.T. Shayamalan twist.

Shayamalan twist, isn't it? Earth is just a big face. Yeah. That we're fucking on. Earth is a big face. That's quite philosophical for you, Yeah, that we're fucking off. Earth is a big face. That's quite philosophical for you, Clarky. Thanks, man.

Do you want to get that printed on a teacher? Sorry, I thought I was the end of the episode. LAUGHTER You go on the structure that if you hit a small bit of wisdom, then it's the end, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, I only have one a day at best, so. We're just about to log off the zoom. Well, we know what we're going to put on your gravestone now at least,

like a hill, I say, a night. He am I to be dead. Oh, no. Oh, no. Can I pitch something to you? Please. We've got a bit of time, aren't we? Oh, we've got loads of time, no. Can I pitch something to you? Please. We've got a bit of time, aren't we?

Oh, we've got loads of time, man. We've got all the time in the world. We've got... Let's say we've got a bit. Well, speaking of all the time in the world, I was thinking about, like, sleep. All right. And how...

Like, it's pretty good with God, isn't it, really? Gentlemen. It's pretty good with God it, isn't it, really? It's pretty good with God it. Do you want to put an other T-shirt down? That was all the time. I was thinking about how stressful life would be if you didn't get to have any sleep. But also, you'd get so much shit done. Right.

Yeah. So I was trying to think of like a system. I think it's far off as an idea, which is like, it's like a buddy system. Okay. And two of you take the of one one person's role. Tom Soon as you start talking about this this is the exact same thought I had I'm with you 100% there

bike It I think there's something in it So one of you sleeps while the others awake and vice versa and you just kind of like live that role one one house Yeah, I and vice versa and you just kind of like live that role. One house. Yeah. I like that. So, and then, Does one person have to have the bait be basically nocturnal then? Maybe, maybe you could shift,

do some shifts. So there will be, so like when you both have a day off off and you end up having to sleep in the same bed, but you both have a day off and then you switch sides, switch ends. So you do a week of night shifts, then you have a day off or two days off or whatever, stand a weekend and then you do a week of day shifts, and then a weekend, and then a week of night shifts. And this is basically thinking back to like, copper field, you know, and the prestige and like the kind of the twins, like if the, you know, the twin dream, the magician twin dream.

And are you doing pulling off that lifelong trip? Are you doing the exact same work? Because it sort of works if it's like a menial task where there is no creativity. But if you are trying to create something, then surely you need a bit of hand over. And unless you're sort of, the two of you are sort of utterly simpatico,

it means that you're gonna end up with one person either kind of constantly fixing the mistakes of the previous session or changing everything so much that it sort of renders it obsolete. I think you have, you get like, that's your teenage years, you get to be, you get to be simpatico and then you're locked in. So, you just have to back each other.

Explain that to me. So you just spend, you spend, so this happens when you are, when you leave school. You're like, you're like, Lenin and McCartney for five or six years. So this is instead of school. It's kind of, it's kind of combined. Okay, in fact, do it,

you kind of, it'd be part of, it'd be part of the training, I think. So you're doing your own, and then you're doing combined school think. So you're doing your own, and then you're doing combined schoolwork, like you're doing your A levels with this, with this other person. Who's sitting the exams? Yeah, yeah.

If you ended up getting like, if you ended up getting a week of day shifts when the exam season happens. No, but the thing is the whole world's doing it, so everything's set up to cater for this. Okay. So you don't have to worry about like, yeah, you know, there'd be night shops and there'd be night clubs. Oh my god, that's a mad concept like I don't think that's a good one.

A clock invented the late opening. So you've marked a nightclub. How's it done it? Well, there'd be dayclubs then. I'm not so bothered about the nightclubbing aspect of it, Clarky. But thank you for answering. You're very welcome. Thank you for answering the question.

I don't want to ask about whether or not there'd be nightclubs. I'm talking about how this is going to practically work. Has me day. I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. Has me day. Could you, Tom? Could you say go, you're with the unite partner. Do you get much cross over time? Well this is it. Do you have any hand over time?

I don't, you could have an hour. Yeah, like a little hand over, a little brief. Like a brief, yeah. Yeah. And I wonder if you would then go like, well look, I'm better at maths. You're better at English. So, yeah, you talk about that. I'll take that.

You do the washing up sandwich better than me. I could just never get a shower. I'd gone fuck, fuck, I'd gone a meal. Wait, wait, wait, wait, so you're doing literally everything in life for the other person? But then like, it's a shared life. It on a million ways. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait little treat to a crab. So you're gonna give us some food. He said, that's the hard thing. So you're having a fry up. You're having a fry up for dinner.

As they're, you know. You come in, morning, morning pal. Morning, you're this? Hello me. By the way, you're doing history today. No, no, no. Don't worry, it's you again. I've done a full night shift

and I'm coming into cook someone else a fry up and then go to bed. Yeah, but it's like, you've done a day of life. It's not necessarily been a full shift. You're just being you for 12 hours and then incomes the next person to be you for the next 12. Oh, whatever. And you know, if you've made them breakfast, I'll do the same for you.

Yeah. And it's like, you're awake in the morning. If the laundry's backed up and they've had time, they'll have done the laundry and they'll have done a few hours of your work and they'll have taken your partner. Obviously it'll be the other, your partner will also have two entities operating in that facility That of what's the film together or something. I'll wait a second. Yeah, but if they've watched it It's like that's trick isn't it? Yeah

Do you do you have to partner are you as pet you presumably have to pair you polyammer? I thought you were gonna say I thought you're gonna say that's tricky Do you get to watch the film as well? It's also trick isn't it because then Because then you'd have this thing of going, oh, do you remember that film we saw? Wasn't it brilliant? You go, oh no, you saw that with the other one. Yeah, but in the brief, you go.

Short circuit, too. Problematic. She doesn't help her. It's no blower questioner. No blower questioner. But then that's not the same as living, though, is it? It's not the same as actually having a life, having somebody else at the end of each day, so here's what you lived today.

No, but I mean, you still get in your days, you're getting, this is all bonus stuff, this is bonus day, because at the moment you wake up in the morning, you've got nothing. Sorry, it's in order to be more productive but you're being twice as productive are you getting you're being paid the same amount of money because you're being paid twice as much but it's being split between two of you. So why how are you being more productive? Who you being more productive for? But you're living in one place each other.

You can share the same car. But you don't. You see each other for an hour a day so why are you so invested in this person that you basically never see? Cause there you double there you are. You're both, you're both. Tom, can I ask you a question? Are you both? Yeah, M.I.T. and M.I.T. too.

Can I ask you a question, Tom, have you seen Severance? No. This is basically Severance. It's a good series actually. Yeah, you've invented a good series. Well, did I invent it or did other time invent it? Is it the top of the writer of Severance? No, it's all good. What can I just ask just out of interest? What time is other time a clock on? Thomas dipped off screen. Hey guys!

This guy's got a lot of energy. He said, I tell you what, I just thought, I know, I just had to go and look what time of the time was clocking on the cell phone. I mean, everyone at the half 11 or something. Oh, okay. It just made me happy to see when he clocks on, that's all. It's always a good, yeah, it's always a good smile. Just thinking what time am I going to have to cook a fry up?

But at least get the pan, get the pan bubbling, get those eggs ready for about 11-15. I haven't got the heart to tell him I don't like it. So, Severance is about two dudes living one life? No, it's about one... Well, the idea behind Severance is they sort of sever your brain so that you don't know what you're doing at work and you don't and you see your work persona doesn't know what you do at home and your home persona doesn't know you do at work. So to the work persona it feels like it never leaves work. To the home persona it

feels like it never has to go to work and you that's how you that's how you live your life. That's the trade off. That's the trade-off. That's the trade-off, basically, yeah. So effectively, you are kind of enslaving sort of half of your life, you know, because you're making it work endlessly. Well, my system's not, my system's better than severance that is.

Yeah, your system is a better system, but I still don't, like. Tom too isn't waking up and just eating the shit. No, that's true. Tom too gets to watch short circuit too. So he is sort of eating the shit, is it some respect? Ha ha ha ha. Oh, sorry mate, I watch Hudson Hawk,

so it's your turn to do. I'll tell you what, as a little treat, we'll do an Aravla on a debate again, okay? We'll have a fry up, watch an Aravla on a banner together, okay? Well, I have a fry up. I'm not an Arab Law Honor and a Boiner. I may not seem like a trick. I have a fry up and then go to bed with indigestion. I'll have avenues and other ways to keep my head for the rest of the day.

The rest of the working day. But you are, We need to rethink the way we start. The thing is, you're doing this, you're being incredibly productive for some sort of higher power, right? For like a for like a boss figure because you Personally aren't gaining anything from working necessarily though. No, no, no, okay gone

Could be my own boss So you could you could be you could be your own boss. You can be running your own company But same to your charge the same time time your own boss, you can be running your own company. But at the same time, you're at the same time you're both, you're two of you running your own company. You're neither of you are making more than you would if you were just running the company on your own. We are, but we are because we're being twice as productive. They are very productive. If you were firing someone, you'd be like, this guy's two guys yeah how does he do it and it would be like save the surprise yeah but if you've been half as productive and it was

just you you'd make the so much money as two people being twice as productive right I hate to be mercenary aboutly about it, but this is true. Crosby, I don't know how you're not getting this man. You're sharing a house. You get to share a house, dude. And they're working through the night while you sleep. Yeah, so, oh, this is a sweet watch films. On this week's Beef Brothers, Tom is upset with Tom for making a fry up for him every night.

Oh, I was doing my cholesterol no good man. Well here's the question, the biggest question really. What happens when one of you, if one of you sadly passes on? What happens if one of you is with the stars? The chuckle brother scenario. Well no no no no no no no that's not what happened. The chuckle moths worked at the same time, right? They weren't the joke of the... Why do you think they were so prolific? The joke of brother is not working.

No, no, no, no, no. They were on a shift system. So you were telling me it was like they would film a two shot and then patch in the other brother. One of them would wake up and to you, to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then patching the other brother. One of them would wake up and shoot. To you, to me. No, no, no. One guy would just walk around going to you the entire day and then the next guy would wake up. So who the camera crew who are filming the chuckle brothers,

right? Yeah. So you're telling both camera crews. So you're telling me that they are now working. In fact, this doesn't make any sense at all because your shoot is twice as long as it needs to be, employing twice as many people as it needs to, it's twice as expensive for the same product. This is your philosophy. I don't know how many times I've got more time to tell this.

Just one house. All right, okay. My final question, and then I'm happy to draw a line under it, except it's a great idea. Will there be nightclubs? Okay, I can see if there are no nightclubs. Tonight we got, mate, there's dayclubs. Well, which case? In which case, sign me and my twin brother up. A duet?

The karaoke machines? The karaoke. I say brunch. On you say brunch. I've cooked a fry up another fucking fry up. Stop cooking. Me fry ups. My hands are microscope.

Oh no. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Only one of you carries the bugs. Ah! Right. Now it all makes sense. Anyway, basically, basically sign me up. So you'd be happy with that. You'd be happy with that Tom. So for example, you know, the script you're currently working on, you would be happy if the next day you sat down to your desk, you know, elves in the shoemaker style, another,

you know, whatever, 10,000 words have been written overnight. Whoa. I'd be delighted with that, actually. I'd love that. Where'd you think this idea came from? You've just spoken. Is the very germ of this thought. LAUGHTER Follow up question, what are you doing this evening? LAUGHTER

Between the hours of 11 and 7. I believe I'm necking some pro-plastin' writing. 10,000 words. That you'll never read. They're all song lyrics weirdly. Absolutely. It's having subtitles on a foreign film cheek. Absolutely.

Well, what a lovely ep. What a gorgeous ep. What a fantastic lovely ep. Now we recorded that, about two weeks ago, maybe a bit more than a fortnight ago, and I can tell you now, the hair on my hand still gone.

Oh, yes, okay. Now what? You can see, yeah, you know, which episode the people just listened to, okay. Now, which one it was. You can see it, yeah, you know, which episode the people just listened to, yeah. So that strip of hair that's just burned away off my skin and it's not like, like originally I thought, oh, there's gonna be a few, there's gonna be, like the hair's gonna kind of grow back,

but it doesn't seem like there is. So I've got a weird little friendship bracelet of baldness on my right wrist. What's going on? If anybody knows anything about it, I mean, obviously we are the gold-winning well-being podcast of the book, which podcast was, if anyone could tell us

or me specifically, what do you think has happened to my body that hair has- Well, let's keep going. Well, no, it's the back of the hand. How long does it seem that I can appeal? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the medical profession can help us out. That would be much, much appreciated. From the medical profession understands medicine like the back of the hand. Oh my goodness. It's like really missed how much really. Yeah, it's like you never left. No, please do get in touch. Papis FlatShare at gmail.com. Also as well, we need your beef. We're going to be recording a beef brothers podcast very, very soon.

It seems like, you know, it seems that we get these little flurries whenever we ask for them. So we're asking for them now. We'd love some new beefs. We have to record, we've got to record some extra beef brothers because Clark is away off to Australia, so we're gonna sort of put all those stock and all together. So please get into beef. You've already got the lingo. Thank you. Thank you also Australian term. So yes, beef brothers podcast at gmail.com. Please do

get in touch. If you have a beef that you think we and a guest might be able to solve, also the Patreon is patreon.com forward slash Pappies flat share. And finally, there are a few dates for your diary. These are not on sale yet, but the 5th and 6th of September, there's going to be flat share stand-downs in the Phoenix, in London, our usual home. And of course, October the 9th, the cheerful, earful festival, there'll be a link to that in the show in the show notes. Come along and see us with the birthday girls. It's two shows, really. Birthday girls house party that we're going to be the guests on,

and Papi's flagship slam down that birthday girls are going to be the guests on, and it should be a real treat. Also, as well, if you are a fan of the birthday girls, which we are. Which we are. And which you, of course, should be. Rose Johnson, who you'll know from a recent flat-shell slam down with Celia A.B. and you'll know from a beef brother's cold cuts we did a little while ago with her. She was absolutely brilliant on. She's a phenomenal stand-up as well. She's not just brilliant in the sketch team, the birthday girls. She's a phenomenal stand-up. She

is doing a work in progress show on Monday the 8th and Saturday the 27th of August at the Soho Theatre. If you are close to London, if maybe you're missing Edinburgh, you want to go and see some comedy, then go and see Rose. Tickets are available from the Soho Theatre, and she just really is one of the best. She's such a funny person, she's such a funny stand-up, and you'll have a brilliant time. So you absolutely must go and see her. Tickets are available now. For a very reasonable 14 pounds, currently, you know? Lovely.

So go and see Rose, she's absolutely great. Join our Patreon, send us messages on Twitter, all that kind of stuff, and have a wonderful time. Do you want to do the sign off? Oh, no. Okay. This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team.

I tell you what. I tell you what Corsham, I can only apologize. Perry doesn't even have the good grace to show up. When, when, when offer the charts to big you up, Clarkie turns it down. But wait, can I just, can I just say caution? We love the hard work you're doing on this podcast. We do.

You're a wonderful person. Stay tuned for the Patreon neighborhood watch role call. Cheers everyone. Everyone. Bye. Bye. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. Less of a mess. Have I never one of our Patreon neighborhood watch role Cells and if you want to stand up stand up But if you don't that's alright as well because we're rebels around here Rebels are we're like Rebels So the other day I got a new flick knife I got some brooil cream to

Knife. I got some brew cream to grease up my quiff and I got a new lever jacket without yours in on the back. Maybe like to come around me out and have a look. That's an open invitation to everyone including my dear friend, Carla Cook. Oh, it's a lovely, that's a lovely invitation, that is, mate. It's a gorgeous intonation as well. It's a beautiful, you said it beautifully. Yeah, invite was lovely. The timber of my voice was absolutely gorgeous. Do you know what I enjoyed that? Invite so much, I'll be coming round on the daily

with my good mate, Kevin Hayley. That invoits so much, I'll be coming round on the daily. Oh yeah. With my good mate, Kevin Hayley. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to see, I'll kev. It's been too long. Kev. Do you know what I'm gonna do when I see him? I'm a shivin'. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause he'll love that. He'll love that, he always loved a good shivin. Did I would care highly right Okay, yeah, I tell you what though. I got I got the other day. I got myself some brand new brothel creepers Oh, yes Skullkin around the back streets kicking over tin cans Those tin cans stand up I think I meant to say, Daspins. But I call them to you. That's how big I am.

To me, Daspins look like Tinkans. Did I tell you about after my operation, now, I'm 12-foot tall. Oh, just, you've got two tallsoes, don't you? I did have another torso, grafted on. I didn't grafted on under my feet though. I was like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, tall. Oh, just, yeah. You've got two Toursos, don't you? I did have another Tourso, grafted on. I didn't grafted on under my feet though. It's really, it makes me feel.

You've got like, like an AT look. Yeah, well, yeah, it's sort of, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, Tourso, feet, legs, Tourso, shoulders, head. And I think I'll probably get another torso on top of my head As soon as the funding comes in wow, so you've got you've got to have yourself a triple toss Yeah, I think about the old the only thing about having a triple toss is when I bought my my brothel creepers I want to put them on oh, they didn't I've given me bunions

I want to put them on. Oh, they didn't have to give me bunions. They really did. They really did. That's why I've got to go to my dear Caropodist, JJ Scullions. Oh, that's absolutely lovely. That is a set. Thanks mate.

You know what? The last time I went to my Caropodist, he did such a lovely job. Yeah. I'll shift him. How good for you. Yeah. Good for me.

Good for him. Good for them. Yeah, you shift him. How good for you. Yeah. Good for, good for me, good for him. Good for them. Yeah, you are right. Keep your change. Yeah. You know, I could tell you shift him because I saw your crop at his voodoo doll and it was looking incredibly peaky.

It was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, real people are my voodoo doll. For real people, I used them to take, inaks my venus on dolst. Right. Which you know I hate. And you hate dolst. Anyway.

Anyway. You can't stand a dolly. The soft lead started to cry. I said, don't do that, you wally. Chin up, Daniel Jolly. Chin out, don't you?, you wally. Chin up Daniel Jolly. Chin out. Do you know what I the other day I was out with me all one of my buddies, you know, from the club. And I was, you know, we were having a heart to heart. Yeah. But I was chugging her through the art. Yeah, yeah. She was chugging me through the art.

Oh, lovely. And I love those nights. Yeah, those nights when you're chugging each other and see, at the end of it, you see Ulysses the most blood. And whoever has lost the most blood has to buy the first round. LAUGHTER Round of blood, didn't it?

Round of blood. Round of blood. Get you back on an even keel. Anyway, we were shivering each other through the heart. And it was the nice time in the club, actually. It was a karaoke night. And my old mate got up and, you know, poor in blood.

She still managed to bust through a pretty passable version of the song, Mustang Selly. And that, I said, you know, not many people could do that, but I'll tell you one, Rebecca Lally. Oh, I love it. You know what? I shift myself to the heart. That's how good it performing. You see the heart in your two-blame. Rebecca Lally is a good name. Yes. You know what? It's my birthday the other day. I thought, do that old trick, put your dick in a box. Nice trick. It's a lovely trick.

I didn't realize that what they normally do is cut a hole in the box, the dick in. I just, I just said, ridiculous. Popped it in a box. That's nice. That's a nice thing. I'm a good friend, Tom Cox. Oh my God, you know what? You know what, the other day I was,

I had a friend, he had a birthday party coming up. And I shipped my dick off for him. Obviously, I did. Obviously, I did. Good lad. And as he unwra wraps it, he said, you're never gonna believe this. I've got you and Easter present.

And I unwrapped a box that he gave me. And it was his dick that he chipped off himself. And I said, you know what, now we're evens. And that friend was of course, David Stevens. That is that board to your tomorrow, isn't it? Let me just, let me just give you the eye though. Let me just give that tear off. Let me shiver away your tears. Edward shivans. Is that one of our patriots? Yeah, yeah. That's a four-quid patriot. Good lad. Well, I'll tell you what. Oh, sorry.

Have you shoot yourself? I don't shoot myself on the brain with this guy's name. It's Neil McCulloch. Yeah, Neil McCulloch or Neil McCulloch, who knows? It's hard to know about. But you're digging a box mate. Well worth a year, if any. Put it in the box, let's put it in the

PO box. Alright everybody that concludes the Patreon name would watch Roll Call. You may shiv your partners. Oh that's the shit. You