Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (McCavity) S12E13

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. The penny has finally dropped, which means it's time for a theatreland murder... or 4.LIVE IN PERSON SHOWSMACH FESTSATURDAY 30TH APRIL: Celya AB & Catherine Bohart https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-5/SUNDAY 1ST MAY : Rosie Jones & Mike Bubbins https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-6/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben, and I am Matthew and welcome to an episode of Papi's Flatshare House Meeting. House Meeting! This is where the three of us all get together and say the title in unison. Yeah, it's been a great episode so far, I think. One more time, how's meeting? How's meeting? We got to get to that point. So a good strong ep. Thanks for listening, guys. Don't forget to get to the point. Before we even get started,

and before we even start talking about a point of business, now normally emails, I save them to the end. But this is a WhatsApp message I received for my own brother, my dear brother Luke. And he was ticked. Big fan of the pod, big fan of Clarky. Lovely, lovely guy.

Which is why he's called Club pretty much. He is, but he's Clarky's one man fan club and that's why he's got in touch to complain about you Tom. He is, that's why he is. I thought I'd put this front center. Hello, I just didn't have the Pampy's app where you were talking about whether kids care about secret codes.

Great. Unusually, Harry is talking rubbish. My daughter loves codes. She wrote a code in Mother's Day card. She writes code messages to friends. She had a piece of homework where she had to decode a secret message. She's been ages making up her own messages. My son is the same. He has spiked with all that stuff that stuff in. They do morse codes and semaphore at Scouts too.

I love it when Tom talks about young people. It's so funny. So there is somebody who is not in himself a young person, but has access to two young people who is related directly to. Tell the full story to that message. Well, it was to be fair, it was sent in code. It was anything else. I may have decoded it. You're brother only communicating code with his kids. So it's no wonder they are in code.

Famously, he only talks in codes. And that's why he's trying to clock his output. He thinks he's had made me into it. He's like, what I'm hearing makes no sense. There must be a code in this. He's very much the Alan Turing of podcast listeners. But yeah, thank you, thank you, Luke. And if anybody else would like to, what's that me a message about the show? Of course, my number is readily available through the dark web, thanks to the COVID app hack. Anyway, so yeah, just to say we're doing some

flat-sheast land downs at the Mac comedy festival in Wales at the end of this month, start a next month. We're doing the Saturday morning and Sunday morning at Mac. It's one of, I don't think we can oversell this. It's a fantastic way to see comedy. Oh, the Mac Festivals. So many, I mean, the lineup is superb. So many amazing performers.

And it's a beautiful Welsh town in the middle of Wales. It's a wonderful place. It's such a good atmosphere. Everyone's in such good, like, everyone's in such a good mood for the whole weekend. One bad thing. Unless they've had to drive there and back just to do one gig. Because we've had to do that in the past and that's hard. How sweet it is.

Good caveat, though Tom. Good caveat. Portent people understand. I'm sure Henry and Steve who organized the festival will be delighted that he's coming to the cafe. If you are a performer, it's a fucking nightmare, as we're saying. What I'd say is... I've got a drive to fucking Wales to a work in progress to 20 people in the billionaire room.

What is this close to? I've seen him be killed in the most pipe, What is this? Close down. I've seen him kill the money pipe. Thank you very much. It's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's only

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We've had to drive there do one gig and then leave immediately afterwards and it was it's heartbreaking too big It's too big around trip. You got to make the full weekend of it That's how you get the real benefit from the Maconthalus comedy festival So all that we're advertising live-tosing, I'm not even giving up on that show. No, no, if you live in Aberdevy, stay for the whole weekend. Don't have much to say for the journey. There's less of a journey as I'm saying.

But yeah, stay for the whole weekend, or stay in Aberdevy and just commute during the day. We can't plan your trip before you make. You just have to do it yourself, or take it on for us that it's gonna be a nice work. Goodness, sake guys, please. What was the weekend, Tom, where did you, did you run the marathon as well? One weekend.

Am I, am I remembering this, misremembering this? Did you run the marathon? Like, or did you drive back and run the marathon the next day? When we were, I was in marathon training, sidehand, I to run, I'd have to work out for miles or something. Right, and then, and then make the journey. How am I, God? Yeah, so yeah, and also, don't do that. But also Tom, you would camp as well, which puts us sort of, it takes the spring out your step

ever so slightly, if it's a rainy weekend, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah Sorry to bring back that paintful memories Tom can I just check with because I do want to promote these gigs. Do you want to do them? Yes, good. Okay, fine. Guys good good, good. Good news guys, Thomas in. Are you? So we have some amazing guests. We have a CLAB and Catherine Bohart on the Saturday and on the Sunday, we have Mike Bubbins and Rosie Jones.

It's gonna be good. Bishbashbash. It's gonna be exciting. Beautiful. We hope. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, you could be too front foot in promo, I think, and I think, Harry, you're bringing a much needed glass of cold water to the face to that advert. It's important.

Should just show a bit of balance. Just be realistic, guys. We're not for everybody. Nothing is. Apart from this wonderful episode of House Meeting, enjoy it. Has beaten, beaten, beaten What temperature should we set the heat to? Has beaten, beaten, beaten Why on earth am I always weak, Has beaten, beaten, beaten Who went my bed while I was sleeping?

Has beaten, beaten, beaten What's the point, does life have a meaning? Has beaten, beaten I had a realization, right? Uh oh. I had a penny drop moment. Uh oh. This week. Spending, were you spending one? I was not had a penny drop moment. This week, were you spending one? I was not spending a penny. No, I was in the kitchen,

and I was listening to a podcast, which is, you know, that's a lot of my life as being in a kitchen, listening to a podcast. And I'll tell you what, I'll flash back to the moment I realized about, first of all. So when I was on my gap year in, I think it was 1999, right? What? I was trying to... Is this news to you, Clarky, that crossed me out of the gap year?

This feels like news to me. She's not now out of gap year. Is it not clearly obvious that I had a gap year? This feels like news to me. She's not know how to gap you. Is it not clearly obvious that I'd a gap you? From the sound of my voice. It's always assumed you still on it. I mean, I tell you what, it's not a bad game show. Gap you or not.

You're good at it. It'd be a good round on a game show. You bring out five people, pick the ones that are the gap year. Paris, you're back yourself. Paris, did you have a gap year then? Let's play the game, cross-bite gap year or no. Let's talk about it, gap year or gap year or no. Now, are we counting just a year of not being an education

between secondary school and university. So if you had a job, you can count that as a get- yeah, but no, but I think Gap here we sort of imagine suggests traveling and some sort of like- Yeah, I think it's- Some sort of level of like enrichment and finding yourself, are we counting just going and working in a shoe shop or something? No, I think your second definition should be the one really. The shoe shop one. It's very specific.

I'm going to say it's too specific, actually. But there's any chance we're backtracking on that definition. It's the year when you weren't at the gap, right? And that's the, that by the way, it's not a bad game, actually. We've refined the format. It's gap year or shoe shop. It's did they go traveling around Peru or did they sell some moccasins?

No, um, did Parry, did you, did you take a year off before you went to university? I'm trying to work out the, I should know this because obviously, don't, we went to university. Don't, don't work it out, go on vibes. Yeah, that's it. Don't work it out, go on vibes. Yeah, that's it. Don't work it out, go on vibes.

Put it this way, did I, or did I not, say this sentence to Clarky at the end of the 90s, the thing is, once you've been to Africa, there's just so many colors, like the sky is just such a vivid blue. Yeah, but you've got family in Africa, does it? Does it? You've got family in Africa, you've got South Africa family. What would I've said something like that. You've got family in Africa. Does it? You've got family in Africa. You've got South Africa family. What would I have said it?

You said it. Of course you would. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would

have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it. You would have said it I think Tom, you've not had a gap here. I think you've had a gap here, Matthew, you're out of the game. I had a gap here and I went to Africa to stay with family, but it still counts. Yeah, of course it still counts. If it's in a gap here, I thought you might have just had a holiday.

But no, that's a gap here. How long was the trip staying with your family? Three months. Yeah, that's a gap. How long was the trip staying with your family? Three months. Yeah, that's a gap, yeah. But I'm of a simpler, I think a sabbatical from education between A levels and university is a gap, yeah. Shoe shop? If you go to the shoe shop, I don't mind it. I don't.

It's got even, is it going to even beyond that? It's doing work in the shoe shop, I don't mind it. I don't think you have. It's got even, what is it got even beyond that? It's doing a work in the shoe shop now. It's a gap you're off. It's a Clarks to get my feet measured. Happy your feet. It's a good year off to do it. That's how Clarkies spend his capy a measuring people's feet.

I'm really going to get to university. But people keep showing up. We know Clarkies Gapier. Clarkies Gapier was bananas in pajamas, wasn't it? Well that's... Well, I've just got a gap half a decade, I think. Yeah, basically still on it. Me and Clarkies Gapier together, but couldn't get it together to travel the world together.

So I had to come up with a plan B and go to Africa. Yeah. We would have had a gap year, but we couldn't get it together. Have I ever had a chance to win? In that time, not being able to organize, what is a basically extended holiday together? We thought we should work together

for the rest of our lives. Hahaha. The first thing we try to do in our life, Tom went off to university to study organising things. And then came back to the bananas in pajamas to learn about the craft performing, yeah, exactly. So yeah, so this is gone. So you had a gap year? Well, I was gonna say, I was gonna say, have I told you before about what happened

because I had the same situation. I was supposed to go with a group of people and then it was just myself and my girlfriend who ended up going on the gap year. And it became very obvious, very soon, very early on the planning that we had very different plans for what we wanted to do. The plan was always to travel around America.

Now I was a big fan of like American television. So basically I wanted to watch, you know, the tonight show with Jay Leno in a motel room. That was the sort of... That was your step. That was the sort of... That was your step, that was your step. My ambition, basically. Well, it was the days before cable. People forget this now. If you wanted to watch the American TV show back in the day, you'd have to get on a plane.

Very expensive to watch an episode of Conan O'Brien. That's the way it was back then. People forget. Yeah, people do forget. But I also went and saw some of those shows being filmed and stuff, but a lot of it was traveling around, doing a bit of sightseeing, just eating burgers, you know. But I love that. I loved traveling to places that years later, you'd sort of see cropping up in like better cool saw.

It's like that kind of, you know, like just going to weird little strip balls and stuff. I loved it. I found that really, really exciting and really interesting. And that's sort of what I wanted to do. I wanted to sort of just, you know, live in that kind of American culture. We've got the Greyhound bus around. You know, that was thrilling to me. My friends who were into, who'd read like on the road by Jack Kerawak had a different kind of vibe going on. And I remember, I just chatted to my dad about like what were the sort of, what are the legal sort of visa requirements for going and traveling around? He said, well,

the main thing you need to prove is where you are, where you're staying for your first three or four nights. The rest of it, if you say you're traveling, they won't need anything. I think you need to know where you're flying home from. You need to have your trip planned out as much as that. So, flight there and back and a hotel room for four nights or a hotel room to start your trip. And so I took this to the rest of the group, and one guy said, I don't think I'm gonna do that.

I'm not gonna, that's a bit too restrictive for what I have planned, my Jack Kerawak type lifestyle. I am gonna arrive at the airport, and I'm gonna be carrying, obviously, just the clothes I've got, I'm gonna bring a shovel, and I'm gonna to be carrying, obviously, just the clothes I've got, I'm going to bring a shovel and I'm going to walk into the deserts, dig a hole, because you can sleep, you can sleep in the deserts,

you can dig a hole, and you can sleep in that, and that's going to be my first night in America. So his plan was to fly into, like, LAX and just walk out of the airport until he hit the desert and then dig a hole. And I was like, I think this trip is not gonna happen in the way, or I think this group, you know, you may go and do your weird little shovel with a bindle hanging off the end of it. But I think I have a very real plan for us. Interaling was very similar actually.

That's why I ended up going to Africa. Clark, you wanted to get to Wolverhampton train station and dig a hole. Which in a way he sort of did. Can I have a lift, I live in Leningdon. But anyway, yes, so that put the kind of kai Bosch on that and then eventually the other guys sort of dropped away. It was just myself and my then girlfriend. But anyway, so while we're traveling, right, so while we're traveling, I think we are in, I think we're in mute Montana, right?

And we are. Why did you know why you went to mute Montana? Was there like a, It was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a like it was like a it was like a modus stop off between places we wanted to go to it wasn't it was nothing in Montana I mean we wanted to sort of see as much as we could but I think we were

fuck where would we have been on our way to like there was there was sort of there was certain kind of big touchstones I definitely wanted to do so I wanted to do Vega so I wanted to do San Francisco I wanted to do Portland Oregon I wanted to do Seattle Washington you know like those kind of things, Chicago, because we had some family out there, that kind of thing. So I guess it would have been a stopoff on the way to one of these places.

We stayed overnight there. Because the Greyhound bus, you can just, you know, you bought a pass and you could, it just cost a certain amount of money, you could just travel for it. You never actually had to get off the Greyhound bus really. You could just, if it was just traveling. Did the never actually had to get off the Greyhound bus really. If it was just travelling... Did the guy with the shovel know that?

Because he might have changed his body. Well he could have... Unfortunately he kept falling at the bottom of the bus. Flinstone's... Flinstone's bus, but that's how he'd finish. He flinstone's the Greyhound bus, fair play to. Hell of a way to spend the gut. Hell of a way you get deported.

I'll tell you that. So we were there and we were staying in this motel. And the next morning we were checking out and the guy said, oh, where are your accents from? You're Australian. We always got like, where are your accents? You're Australian. And we said, no, no, we're from England.

And he said, what do you all do? What do you all do for a job in England? And I was like, what a weird question to ask. What do people in England do for jobs? It's like, it's a country, everyone's got different jobs. And I remember sort of, I sort of went, oh, like all kinds of different stuff, you know?

Sort of, you know, and then, it was stayed with us, we talked about it like the next day. Imagine think like, oh, we thought it was a big sort of like, you know, kind of cultural sort of chasm of them going, oh, I see that like, you told the shoe shop. He said, yeah. Two shops in England.

There's the shoe shop and the shop for shop. He just got to go for one to the other agents. And the hotel combined. But, yeah, so I thought, what a weird question to ask. And he also asked some other questions that he'd asked how upset I'd been when Princess Diana would die and stuff like that. And you know, so I thought,

I still had to answer that. That's my opening question at a party. So you still hear opening questions, and that's how we met. It was my chat of life for many years. I was watching. I was seeing this, he showed the vulnerability you get into comfort

them and it's very, yeah, it's very Frank McEjoonia, you're a your technique, wasn't it? But I, so then anyway, a couple of days ago, you know, this is sort of, hadn't stayed with me particularly, wasn't the thing I thought about all that often. A couple of days ago I was listening to a podcast, so someone used the expression, you all, to mean, just you. It was gonna be my first question. That was, and it was, I mean, what do you do for a job? What do you all do for a job?

What do you all do for a job? What do you all do for a job? Means, what do you and the girl you're with do for jobs in the UK? Not what do, what is the whole of the UK do for a job? Which is an insane question. And I felt, this like and I was like right so I had that conversation in 1999 I've realized what it was about in 2022 it took me 23 years. I mean the guys that's great the guy. I mean, I don't think I've had I mean

Who knows there may be things that I've chaps I had in the 80s that will, you know, in my 80s, I'll realise what the fuck people were talking about. But is there anything, can you beat that for a 23 year long period of not knowing what someone else was talking about until suddenly the penny drops and you're like, oh, I'm an idiot, of course he wasn't asking what everyone in the entire cup should have. I do have to check out by 11, mate. I don't know if I've got the time to run through. I have to reach up. I thought you were gonna say a couple of days ago, he got back in touch. You never know, it's not my question. I think it's my question, eh?

You know, bad stuff, right? We still miss the Queen of our hearts remember? Yeah, that's superb. That's a great long distance Penny drop That's gonna go through someone's hand if it hits the hand that pen That's top of the off that's how it's traveling out He is just, oh my god. Is there anything, man, I'm sort of putting you on the spot now?

Is there anything, I'm sure you'll think about it, 23 years later. Oh, yeah, I'll come up with something to do. Get back to me in 23 years and tell me. But, yeah, it'll be this episode of the podcast. I'll be glad to see you. That's what crossed me was on about. That's what I was talking about. But it wasn't the other guy up here.

And... He's been in shock all this time. I haven't heard anything else. Just that, wringing in my ears. Well, I did have that fate, remember this one. I had one where it was basically somebody clearly was playing a trick on us. When we were during my time in bananas and pajamas,

when we were talking about Greece backstage and the guy who opened the show or the country. The show and the guy who ran. I know, I know. I know both of you are not what this is. And he was like a him and another guy joined in and then a few more people did. I think who didn't know it was a joke but basically he was going, I will grease started out as like a play in the UK.

It was an musical at that point. It was just a play in the UK. And then it got adapted for, it was like an American musical. And I just had that as fact in my head. Can I just say now, Clarky? Yeah. That's one of the lamest pranks.

Yeah, exactly. But anyone's ever played in it. So I sort of, I sort of, I, I, I, I understand like what's going on because then you then relayed this back to us, didn't you? Yes. What would have been I think it like if I can place it, we were in Ireland to do some shows. Yeah. So would that have been 2009, maybe you told it to us. So you're probably around maybe a decade earlier, right? Yeah. maybe you told it to us. So you were probably about to be defecated earlier, right? Yeah. We were in the D.O.D. in an American dye in a type place when it happened.

And you said, speaking of American dye, it's now. It was probably where it came from. Yeah, yeah. They played some love in or something. You're like, fun story. It's a bit like the sort of pigmailian my fair lady story. This didn't start as a musical. It didn't start as a film. It started as a play set in Britain. Yeah. And everyone was like, well, obviously that's not true. But yeah, it was so mundane, it was, I mean, started as blood brothers, didn't it? Yeah. That's what it was. I think they were playing a trick. It felt as though, I don't know,

but it felt as though one of them thought it was a funny lie to tell. And then everyone else, because it felt like everyone joined in and went, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that. And it was just kind of like, so they all got together before you, you know, when you were, you know,

when you're in the costume, you couldn't hear anything. And they said, look, is this like a dress? It's like, it's like, it's like a red strip of sparky? Is this just what it's like? It's like a theater land. Do you think just like other productions try and get one up on the other one? So like the Greek slot all went away going, oh, we had the bananas and pajamas lot hookliding sink in the other day.

And that's because you know, when they were there with Oklahoma, we're like, you do realize that this is based on Oklahoma in Belgium, right? And it's like everyone kind of like does this kind of, they need to try and get one up on the other ones. We'd actually told a production of a touring production of Greece that the bananas used to actually chase oranges, not teddy bears. And they went away believing that. But yeah, that was one that. I was worried, that by the way was like, that was a spectacular evil laugh you did there to glad. Like, you were like, I'll be using that one. Because you're working, you're working theatre at the moment.

Just wait till April fools, everyone. It would be fun if like in the West End, after shows, there was like cast members prowling the streets in kind of like a gang warfare style Jets and Sharks. Well, yeah, I was going to work. I mean, that literally is a musical, isn't it? Yeah. If it was Jets and Sharks, it would just be one musical prowling the streets. It would be lots of people.

No, no, no. Jets and Sharks versus the French Revolution. They're all the same team, aren't they? The French Revolution. Jets. Yes, yes. It'll be the great truth that brought the the warring factions together in lots of musicals. Because ultimately you're all you know you're all facing the same way aren't you in a musical?

Basically it'd be like a gangland, it'd be like a peaky blinders-esque gangland piece set in the West End between casts in the music rush, the great musical rush of the 1980s. I'd watch this as a TV show. I'd definitely watch this as a TV show. Instead of peaky blinders, it could be called Bobby Dazzlers. Don't you think? Everybody get in there. definitely watch this as a TV show. Instead of peaky blinders, it could be called Bobby Dazzlers. Don't you think? Okay. Everybody get into the attack.

I think it is. If it's called the Bobby Dazzlers, people are gonna pick up on the fact that it's a peaky blinder spin off. It's just two. It could, no, it could, what? Bobby wants to buy order of the Bobby Dazzlers.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. And they're tapping on someone's face. Oh my God. Hello. Tap dancing, tap, I mean, actually, quite a bad way to go, I think. Tap to the day. Oh my God, I've just thought of something.

Yeah, like, you know, like a, like a theater land murderers type thing. Okay. So imagine, right, here's, this is how, this is how you murder someone in theatreland, okay? There is a big production of a chorus line, okay? This is what happens, and you wake up and you realise that your entire body has been like mummified and you've been buried an inch below the stage, right? Oh no, that's why you had the shuffle. Yeah.

Like your bill. Yeah, but no, but but your face, so the coffin that you've been buried in, your face, there's a hole cutting it like a massage table and your face, your face is popping up through up into the, but it's also been painted like, they repaint the stage, yeah, they repaint the stage after every production. It's also been painted black and you know, they repaint the stage, yeah, they repaint the stage after every production

It's also been painted black and you've got a gag in your mouth So you're very you're very alert you're very awake But the performers won't know they won't see you there because you're the same color as the stage and then they come out Before no The performers don't know no, no, no Hey, no, no, because they're gonna be getting a Because they're going to be getting a duff, they're going to be getting a duff note on their top. Yeah, which will probably make them, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, t've broken their nose, you've pressed down on their windpipe, the lot. Good Lord.

Yeah. The theatreland murders, that's it. Every week, it's a different, someone has sort of as kidnapped from a production, taken to another theatre and inadvertently murdered. I've got one. And this is the revenge killing then, right? Yeah, okay. The cast of Joseph, they kidnapped someone from Corus Line, right?

Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of what they kidnapped someone from chorus line right of course yeah because of what they did to you know Ruben's face or whoever no one gets no one misses Ruben right but the brothers do sure of course yeah yeah of course yeah the brothers are like the brothers are thickest thieves we know that we need to avenge Ruben they synestic Joseph in a pit then they would lose Ruben yeah so what they do is they get one of the chorus line not. And just before a show, they super glue the bottom half of their body to the stage and the top half of their torso to the curtain. Oh no. It's curtain up my friend. It's curtain up in five minutes Of course like guys ago, where's that you know they arrive just in time?

Way way back Many Why is he singing the... That's actually the form of a... He's singing. He's a performer to the end. He is. He's a famous student. And the theatre-traitor is just full-ass.

The show must go on. He starts harmonizing. Absolutely right, I'm telling you. Tom, the only thing about that, I would say, is that they wouldn't do it in their own production. They don't want blood on their own stage. They would take it across the street to back to the future of the musical. And so they take over the future of the musical.

And they would do it there. It would have to be a different production because every production, by the end of the series, has blood on their hands. I've got one for you. Yes, go on, here we go. Cats, the musical. Yeah. Get involved. I've heard of it. They kidnapped someone. Yeah. Got backstage staffs, staffs, and they don't know, the cats don't know. Yeah. As a lovely little present present they've got my scratch post Oh no, you're never guess. It's just someone wrapped in twine. Yes Oh, and it's a great way to go they've given them

I'd absolutely cheers myself to death you'd see my big lob on popping through the Give away they think it's more of a scratch post and oh my good lord Mikaverti I'd feel I'd feel me the cavity Phil my film I cavity Was that my cavities first name, Phil? All right, you've done sort of 40 for Virgin the same joke. We get what you're saying there. Everyone will win.

Everyone's saying in the edit, of course. Everyone. If we can edit out every other bit of the podcast, it just really is. That's totally... Topping is... Him, the little bit of the podcast, it just releases that all the shopping is his little bit of a cavity gag. If the edit, could you just repeat it so that I'm date times. I'd fill in the cavity. I'm sorry, that's... Fill my cavity. Erm... LAUGHTER

Was that my cavity's first name, Phil? And to play us out, here's Tom's face. LAUGHTER Well, end them. Well, end them, Paul, we need- My cavity. LAUGHTER BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM That's it. That's it. Did you go and see Joseph in the West End when it was around in the in the 90s? If so, who was your Joseph?

Zoot a Laws I did. It was Skyfield. I believe. Skyfield. I saw Skyfield as well. Did you see what it done of it? I mean, I saw it in the, yeah, I think I saw West End Skyfield. Because I did it as my leaving assembly at school.

But you told the story. What, this story, yeah. Did you know that? I think don't. Is my leaving assembly at school, just before I went on my gap, yeah, I shovel in hand. I said, listen, I want Scofield, play, Joseph.

And I just started digging a hole, saying, it's clocking. Who's supposed to be joining me? It's clocking. Clockies supposed to be joy, did we? It's clocking. Clocky, clocky, clocking on you. Such a beautiful shot. Did you see it, Clarky? Did you see, did you see...

I didn't see Jason. I saw Scottfield and it was, but it was before, like, like people didn't know if he was gonna be able to sing. I'm just gonna be my question. Did he have the chops? He had the chops, man. Wow, really? But everyone knew him.

Everyone of course knew him from the broom cupboard and, uh, Scofield Europe, I think, is that he just done Scofield Europe. Was it Scofield Europe? Right, go gray. But yeah. Was he doing, what was he sat in the morning, show he had some...

He did go, he did going live, didn't he? He did going live. Yeah. I, I, I, it might be controversial to say this, but I don't think Joseph is that tasky. I don't think it's that kind of difficult. No, it's a kids musical. It's four schools, isn't it?

It's like a... I don't think there's too much being asked of Jason, basically. Right. Or Philip, or, you know, I feel like you can just pop someone in there. I don't know, man. Who would be the equivalent today of putting in, who would be there? The sort of all round, lovable, high-street.

I know. Deck from Anten Deck. Ooh! Deck goes it alone in a production of Joseph. Yeah. Or does Anten do Pharaoh or something? Does Anten come in and, no, you couldn't have that because it would be the dynamics all wrong.

No, he would have to be so deck, deck finally decides, look, I want to break out, I want to prove my worth. He was very good in PJ Duncan. You know, yeah, he's got the vocal chops, we know he's got that, he doesn't use them anymore. But what he doesn't know is that they've put aunt Let me tell you you know if they put me an inch below the stage Just the just the roar of the grease paint the smell of the crowd sets you off, doesn't it?

That's part of the reason we had to retire from live. Harry was always poking the eye of the people in the third row. I'm not doing my favour. But yeah, you do, you are. But I know. We never sold out, so there was no one in the first team, right? Every... Our catchphrase used to be,

would you mind moving forwards please? That used to be, it was our only gag. I'll be going open. I've got an opening gag. I've got an opening gag. Come on guys, would you mind if you all just like, I know that you've got reserved seating,

but why don't you just all sit in the first five chairs here? It's time, you know. And then they'd point at me and say, that's why. You say, look's why. LAUGHTER You say, look, I'm merely using these to indicate where the five chairs are. All right? That's scratch-post, there's bought a scratch-post.

I'm eating. I'm eating. I live in a house made of iron sheets. I'm eating. Yeah, so Scope steps out on the stage and gets the big stars in their eyes round of applause after singing the first line, because people didn't know whether or not you could do it. I think it requires something. It requires something.

I think you need a bit of something to be able to sing. It's not a bit, yeah. The most touching moment. You're able to hold the two. Yeah, exactly. But also, what a big stage. What a life to be able to come out and get. I'd love to get a round of applause

after doing just one line. Well, they don't just have to do one line like that. He didn't fuck off into the car and drive home. He had the good grace to perform the rest of the show. To Paris Cumswell says, film a cavity more like, and then find one. Well, I say that, he says that 10 to 15 times

and then he says, Jesus himself gets around the floor. He falls back. He says, was crying. Curtin comes down. No! He's that guy. The guy gets put back together again.

It's a happy ending. It's a worth for both of you. Oh my god. Oh dear. I got my head ache. Right. So, I'm going to get my head ache. I'm going to get my head ache. I'm going to get my head ache. I'm going to get my head ache. I'm going to get my head ache. Oh my god. Oh dear, I feel like I feel like we've set the world to rights there about my penny drop

moment. So, Perry, would you like to play us out with your now legendary? It's very much your film of cavity routine. It's very much like, you know, it's Macinty's mandrawe. It's so nice. It's flanigans out, out. It's even Abbott and Gustello's who's on first.

It's got, you know, it's gonna go down to history. Now, if you listen to this, if you see me in public in, you know, don't be afraid to, I don't mind it, or some comedians don't, massive fans have been approached, but if you want to show it or you film a cavity to me, I'm from across the street. I can be a little...

You're an expert, that's not what I mean. There was a brilliant thing on, I think it was Wimbledon a few years ago, where Peter K. was sat in the audience and the camera was sort of panning along these, the various slabs in the crowd. And it stops on Peter K. And the commentator goes, there's Peter K. Will he be going out, out tonight? I hope that the guy did it deliberately and he does it to every comedian.

Oh, that is pretty good. What do you be going out? Out. Literally everybody. But anyway, we're bearing the leads slightly now, Tom. Are you going to give us a reworking or do you want us just to drop in the audio from earlier on? You're a right. Okay, so first, both.

This is with the benefit of hindsight. This is Tom's, he's previewed it. The magic of editing. He's previewed it in the middle of the episode. This is Tom's new version and then we'll have, we'll hear the OG. No, no, no, no, I want the OG classic to go eight, four times and then I'll sign off with my brand new take on it. Oh, what you want? So you want to have it in the OG classic four times?

Yeah, like play out, they'll play out all four mentions of Phil McCracken now. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, right. You said, I thought he's been, I thought you meant that bit of audio plays out four times. Yeah, because... All four, all four, all four stabs at the, stabs at the gag. They're going in, we're going to hear those. All palpable four all four stabs at the stabs at the gag. They're going in. We're going to hear those all palpable hits on my add. Not one of them went out out. So so yeah,

we're going to we're going to hear those now and then immediately Paris going to come in with some some very strong new material here we go Cavity I'd feel I'd feel me the cavity Oh film I feel my cavity Was that the cavities first name feel all right you've done 40 for version the same We get we get we get we say it there What's that cat called McCavity what is his first name Phil Film a cavity yeah He popped the sound effect in

No one expected that was going to be his safe way. Now we everyone. Oh wow. Did everyone hear the parachute there? There's the sudden noise of a pulling up a string. Is it? Miss Saigon? Great, wait. Oh, tell you what, that's the best thing.

The helicopter comes on at the end of Miss Saigon. Oh yeah. Someone's only in the bloody chopper blades. Oh, the helicopter, someone's turned the helicopter upside down. And it's just, it just chops all the, all the performers up. What? What an image to, what an image to end up. What? What? What a closer.

To the first half. We absolutely just turned the helicopter upside down. On ourselves. Anyway, Perry, I'm really excited to, I've just gone on my online diary and I've typed in this date in 23 years' time to get your film a cavity joke. It is a way home I don't worry it is a way home. The home in this case would be a retirement home. Well there you go. Another house meeting. To eat? Would it be, well, would you mind very much favouring us one final time with your routine?

Because I feel like, you know what? I know we've just had it, but come on the third time to charm. I mean, we loved the we loved the meow remix What have you got for us this time? Oh I've just bought myself a cat Do you want to know its name? Hey, it's I It's a cavity

But it's first name is Phil. A melon collie, almost Arab strap inspired. I think so. That was good actually. In fact, if we could pop quite a sparse beat under that. Could we hear that? Now, can we pay any of that one more time with some Malcolm Middleton style backing track. Emma said nope in the chat here on the Zoom, so.

That's fair enough, that is fair enough. No, I'll tell you what, you know what? You just have to imagine it. This is where Clarky, the musical Mystros comes in. Clarky, you can put together surely 20 seconds of some Arab strap inspired music sent to Corsham, surely you could. Surely, there's a lot of good stuff. Guys, it's a world it's exclusive now,

but brand new jingle. Oh, I said I could, I didn't say I could. I'm just gonna, let's just make sure this happens here. A world it's exclusive, a brand new jingle, this is Tom Perry and Ben Clark. In many ways, Wolverhampton's Arab Strap with Phil McHavity. Hi guys, Clarky here. So they asked me to do this Arab Strap music for this section,

but quite busy today actually and I just realised I'm probably probably not going to get around to it and uh and also chiefly I just don't really want to but I'd really appreciate it. It just it occurs to me that Tom and Matthew probably won't even listen back to this. So they won't know it's not there. So if it it's okay with you I'm not going to do it and actually it'd be great if you could just get in touch and just tell the guys that the the Arab Straps thing was actually really fantastic it was a great bit and they'll be done the wise there and they'll just be our little secret okay guys. Bye. Do you really enjoy it? Really enjoyed it.

Right, yeah, so don't forget folks, the Patreon continues a pace. If you'd like to join the Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash pappies, fatch there. And you'd get all the bonus stuff we tell you about every week. You know what it is. Come and see us at Mac. We'll be doing some more shows in London in the summertime. Anything else?

Don't think so. Recommend to show to your friends, keep on listening and be kind. Also, mention us online maybe. Yes. If any of you have access to the online world, pop us a mention. You know, that might help out. Yeah, certainly word, yeah, yeah.

Popper's on your blog or your Twitter. Put us in your Twitter bio. That would be always, you know, better than a pin tweet. You know, being in the top. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsion. Corsion team. Cheers everyone! Bye! Will you please be upstanding for today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, FAT! It's Andy Lockhart! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Spend a penny! four three two Spend a penny his poll Kennedy 20 He's very super of course course he is. It's Adam Cooper. Five, four,

elf, it's Brian shelf. Wow. Shelfie back. Shelfy back. Yeah. It was a good time there. Time for a blast here. Good time for Shelfy. Five, four, three, this person's called M.

Five, this person makes me smiley. It's Kirim Riley nice Five four it's Benath Kinson two one And that concludes the neighbourhood! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Shh! Hmm. Um, five. Roo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo- two, one, five, four. He's challenging me to a fight. Three, four, please don't end white. Two, one. Five, four, four, three, four, two, three, four, two, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one burp, onekins, it's John Hopkins!

Five, four, three, is two, two, coldren, one, one, it, birth, 1. For you! Are you suggesting that you and Nick Hallworth go and spend a weekend camping at Mac? Is that what it is? Is that what you're saying? It's not a bad idea actually.

It's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. F-F-F-F-I'm sorry it's a non-starter. It's Eliacata. Five. Five. Three. What a wonderful... ...at Dollylly it's Lorcan Kunnolly

Connolly I'd say probably Connolly So lovely Dolly Kunnolly Kunnolly Kunnolly That concludes this week's Patreon, and then we'll watch Roll. We can get back into it,

I shouldn't tell us how you pronounce your name, because the jury's out here. The jury's out here, could be, could be, could be, could be. Could be. By the way, I should go about to watch the DVD of Live at the Abblehole, Billy Canolley. It's really, it's really, it's Hall Billy Canolley. It's really lovely.

It's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's a beautiful performance. Yeah, it's a very growing car. It's a growing car, really. It's a growing car. Oh, dear. Of course, let's not forget. Anton Declan De Nolley. Anyway,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's concluded. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, name, Phil. Alright, you've done sort of 40 for Virgin the same joke. We get what you're saying there. Everyone will win. Everyone's staying in the edit, of course. Everyone.