Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (#Nature's #Hashtag) S10E2

Episode Date: January 14, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Back on stage, debating the hashtag, goolie lab, and theories of Clarky's demisePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live 3rd February - https://dice.fm/event/k8vao-pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-podcast-3rd-feb-moth-club-london-ticketsEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Hello, everybody. Matthew here. Just before we start, we have recorded a bunch of house meetings and beef brothers and flat slams in 2019 to play out this month because Tom is away on his honeymoon in Greg Dyson's at Tom for being married. He's away and he doesn't get back to the 20th of January. And so we recorded this at some point earlier, then obviously you'll listen to this, but at some point late in the year. And see if you can see what we, when we thought it was gonna come out. Anyway, enjoy the episode and speak to you soon.

Bye-bye. Greetings, listener dear. Hello. What? Oh, ho, ho, ho. Hello, ho, ho. Well, too early for my liking. Really?

I'm Tom! I am Matthew. And I am Santa Claus. Santa Claus is here. Santa Claus is here. Now I know I did ask you this, but when does this episode go in out? The 10th of December. 10th of December.

Remember, remember, the 10th of December. The night that the Santa Claus visits. You're sort of getting close to the midway point of your advent calendar. Look, and I want to bang on about it. My birthday is the 16th of December, okay? Six days away. You can't start celebrating Christmas until that is out the way.

I think it's fair enough. Then you focus on Christmas, but you start bringing the sun to it on the 10th of December, what next? At Thomas P. on Twitter, if you would like to send Tom a festive slash birthday message. Birthday slash festive, please. Birthday on the 16th festive on the 17th. I mean, I'm sure I've told you this, but in my house growing up, my mom and dad wouldn't put

the Christmas decorations up until the morning of my birthday. So it was like, you'd come down for my birthday and it'll also be the Christmas decoration. That's really nice. That's really fun. So they were like, this is when Christmas really starts and what a great way to start the celebrations by giving you a load of presents. Absolutely. And what a way to start the celebrations, but to have this house meeting. Well, we're not starting the celebrations crucially. Yes, but we're celebrating this episode with this episode.

The way we celebrate this episode is by doing this episode. It's a self-celebratory episode for a self-celebratory group. Let's be honest, like all our podcasts, someone's got a celebrators, it might as well be us. It might as well be. Because no one else will, unless you go to iTunes and leave a review.

Five stars all to do it. Yeah, we've had some really, really lovely reviews at the moment that always say, you know, in fact, we've had some really, really lovely reviews at the moment that always say, you know, in fact, we've had some really nice ones to say, love the flat slam, love the house meetings, could take or leave beef brothers, but we keep on doing them guys. We've got to fill that month, baby.

Yeah. The way the cookie crumbles, I guess. That's the way the cookie crumbles. The Christmas cookie. Famously a tradition in your household. To have a Christmas cookie, yeah, a gingerbread cookie. Oh, yeah. I'm not sure it's true. Well, you know what, I used to go round to, for Christmas, we used to go round to Helen Zoltzmann's, a friend of the show, Helen Zoltzmann's house, to do gingerbread house decorating.

Oh, right, very good. Very, very good. The good old days before she turned to international jet setting, podcast superstar. Yeah, it's mad. And now, you know, I'd love to go around her house and, but she doesn't have one. She's an itinerant podcaster. She travels around the world, podcasting wherever she finds herself. What a life. No, maddock podcasting. But we will never do that this idea because we are firmly camped within your ear canal.

And also, we've tried giggling out a town, and it always goes, it's like, I believe we mentioned in this much much. We are much safer here within the warm confines of your air canal where we're gonna have another fine house meeting. Yes, it's a very strong house meeting, and the purpose of a house meeting is for the three of us

to get together, because we don't see each other in real life anymore. And to find out what's going on in our lives, and this one, it really cuts to the very heart of who we are. Yeah. Because we asked, we asked a crucial question, and a crucial answer.

We get a crucial answer. Eventually. It doesn't, it doesn't come immediately. But also, it doesn't come much better than this. It doesn't get much. It's a hell of a journey. It's a hell of a journey, and we're pleased to grab you by the ear canals and take you on it.

Enjoy! I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has me ting.

What temperature should we set the heat to? Has me ting. Why on earth am I always weak? Has me ting. What temperature should we set the heat to be 10? Why on earth am I always weak past 10? Who wet my bed while I was sleeping? There's half a half of me 10. What's the point? Does life have a me 10? Let's get cracking baby.

Let's get cracking baby. Remember the rule? Zero fucks giving guys. Is that your new rule? Zero fucks giving my baby? My baby. I wish I could give Zero fucks given guys. Is that your new rule? Zero fucks given my baby? My baby. I wish I could give zero fucks. I give so many fucks. It's to my detriment. Have you got a rule? I've got a rule to live by. To live by. No, I don't have a mantra actually.

I've always found them a bit. Yeah, well, if you meet someone in a bar and they're like, John, my man, Tarriz, or his, my rule, you kind of go, really? Especially if they go, I always say. I always say, and then you go, yeah, but that's what everyone says. You know? Yeah, it's like to me. Like to me, that is not, that is against the law.

For me. To me, to me, that is against the law. You kind of go, no, no, it's the law. That's the law. That's the law. For me, I would never, you law. For me, it's a bit off killing someone. So I do, I've got two rules I try and apply to my life. Here we go. Interesting. Now, the first one, when I was probably in my early 20s, I was doing a play, thank you, in the pub theatre,

the Henning Chickens. A fine establishment. A fine establishment. And I mean, you know, we've been there many times, we've tanked there. I was there last week. Well, yeah. What were you doing? There was a short film night and went along to watch.

And were you showing you your famous short film? It was, it was on, it was one of them, but there were lots of, lots of them. It was a very good evening, but there were only about five people in there. It's a strange old world, the world of the short film. Yeah, it was basically the people who had written films were in there and they're one else beside. That's it. I went to a short film night and I realised I was the only person there who hadn't made one of the films. Ah! Everyone else was standing up to get around applause night and I realised I was the only person there who hadn't made one of the films. Oh!

Everyone else was standing up to get around our applause. So I just stood up. Yeah, half way through when they said, we've got the director and producer here I thought no, it's good. I stood up. I took the, you know, the... And that's your first role, isn't it? That's my first. Yeah, yeah. My first role is, if someone is offering a round of applause... Stand up. Stand up.

But I was doing a play there and I was... is if someone is offering a round of applause. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Take a round of applause. But I was doing a play there and I was... Do you do podcast nights where your gathering the head and chickens, everyone plays out their podcast. We get a round of applause at the end of the day. The short podcast festival. Or the long one.

I mean, yeah, these are quite long. I don't know if you would... I think it's a good idea. I will say one stipulation to that. Can it please be in London? Please. Because we've tried traveling with our podcast elsewhere. People sending the messages. Please come to insert name of town here. We go. And they hate us there. You know what? There'll be one or two people in the audience who are so excited to see us. And what they don't realise is, we're not popular.

I tell you, there are the people who, they'll be there. God bless those people. They're in the front row, laughing away. They're the ones who afterwards will come up and apologise on behalf of the audience. It's like they feel responsible. They're like, I'm so sorry. I mean, I can't understand it. I mean, I thought they were going to love you or what it like. That's our demographic. They've brought at least 10 or 12 people there. Our demographic is people who are sat in a room

surrounded by people not getting it and feeling bad. Yeah. The unsightly minority. The unsightly minority, exactly. So I was doing this play anyway. I was doing this play. Here we go. Just pulling the jump off because it's warm.

It's warm, isn't it? So you're rolling back the years. I'm just taking off for, take the foot off. That's for the anecdote. Shirt is for an anecdote. Rule number one. If you're telling a good anecdote, get your shirt off. I believe that was Mark Twain.

Mark Twain, who taught us that, if you're going to tell an anecdote, whip the shirt off, put your hands on your thighs and begin. And bellow. I'm sorry, bellow. And begin and bellow. And only one person will really get it. Like, one person to follow. Or the people around.

But I was very nervous. In fact, there was such a sort of air of nervousness, backstage that in the overall the cast. Yeah, I mean, I just think we were all very inexperienced. It was a good play. It's not a big venue there, haven't you, chicken? Not a big venue now. And you go, chill out, I just think it's we were all very inexperienced. It was a good play. It's not a big venue there and chicken. Not a big venue now and you go chill out, mate. It's there and chicken. Absolutely. What do you think's going to happen? But you know, what I tell you what it as well, I'm not, you know, I love performing, but keeping those lions

in your head when it's, you know, the first night. That's always, I always feel like that's slightly stands in the way of a first night, is that how going, yeah. Have you ever been at a theatre experience or watched someone dry up on stage? It's excruciating. I went to see Eddie Isard do Lenny completely forgot his lines and went into stand-up.

Went into material. No. Can't do that. You can't, you can't, walk out your gear. I mean, he was, you know, he also did't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can not parries, famous for whopping his torch out. And people want to see it. Let's not, people in that kind of conversation. People flock. Hang on, let's not, put me, don't flock to the cock.

Don't put me into that. They flock to the cock. Please call your next show, flock to the cock. Flop to the cock. Please. Flop to the flop of my cock. And I want you to be putting me into any kind of, there's a lot of bad kind of comedians

like to get their cocked out stories. I want you to know this. Sure. Oh, no, it's not in that face. You're not Louis C. Cain. I mean, I'm speaking of the vein. Yeah, that's kind of the same. That was the elephant in the room.

Okay. You're not known. Well, that was you with your buckets out there. But it's always in a very... It's contextual. It's contextual. It's not sexual. It's contextual. There's nothing sexual about my penis. No. Absolutely right. It's contextual. It's contextual. It's not sexual. It's contextual.

There's nothing sexual about my penis. No. Absolutely right. It's contextual. It's why people flock to it. It's why people flock to it. Yeah. You can't argue with that.

They put it on the... Didn't they put a warning on your show last time? They said it contains nudity and it doesn't. It does. It's consumed. It's so funny that you think it doesn't. What? Can you tell me, right?

Well, let's hear this out now. Perry, put your case forward. Why do you think your show doesn't contain you? No, no, why will say is Pariochi, the stand-up show, Yes. We'll be coming to, you know, there'll be downloadable from next up soon. Yeah, and that'll be on live with the show theatre next year.

I'm not going to. These are spoilers. It's true, it be on live with the Sion Theatre next year. I'm not gonna, these are spoilers. It's true, it's true. And it is, it's fantastic. To show. And you get, you flock to it guys. Do you get the little flocker out? No. We don't meet the flockers.

No. Well, I'm, no spoilers, I've still not seen the show. Exactly. I'm still not seeing the show because I was in the, in the, in the grip, in the grip of becoming a new father. And I'm still a new father, but you know, I'm just not being a new father. Well, I think after the baby is no longer a newborn, fourth trimester is, is newborn. Oh, how many, what's, so three trimesters?

What's a trimester? Three trimesters, I could turn, isn't it, it's cool. Yeah, exactly. Ah! So there's three trimesters. good term, isn't it, it's cool. Yeah, exactly. Ah! So there's three trimesters, I mean technically, I don't even have a, I mean, fourth trimester is after the birth. It's the first, it's the first three months.

Life's the fourth trimester. No, no, no, no, because one of the rules I live by, is that your rule? Why don't I martos for life always be fourth trimestering? I was wondering why you're crowning. LAUGHTER Just go to the toilet mate. Whenever I see you, I always think I can see the head.

It's a really prominent head. It's a really prominent head. Famously the heaviest part of the body. Anyway, let's not go down. Let's not go down that path. So anyway, I was back. You're in this play. I was backstage and such.

And nervous. Such with the nerves that one of my co-stars fainted during the show. Oh my God. And, but like, I could tell she fainted, but like she hadn't collapsed to the ground, and it was a scene I was, What, she just gone midair.

Yeah, but I could see. She floated. She floated. She floated. She floated. There are two ways. Yeah, she went, she drifted up to the ceiling like a helium balloon at a wedding.

What was the plan? A dead fish. It was a play that my friend Owen had written. Was it Peace of Pan? That would have been Timeline. No, it wasn't Peter Pan. Right. He was a play.

Wendy's gone early. Wendy's gone early. Wendy's gone early. Wendy's gone early is the sequel to Peter Pan. Yes. Wendy is in her second trimester. Wendy's gone early. So I was in this I was in this

playing it was about right. I was playing a sort of a deadbeat son and this woman was playing this girl was playing my mother right. We were about the same age. About the same age. Love that kind of predictions. When you're in your 20s you don't't know anyone who... She's got some tal-coma hair. Exactly. Exactly. She had some tal-coma hair, had some tal-under my nose. So you could tell which kind of characters we were. I was a waste rule.

She was a pensioner. So there we go. The waste rule in the pensioner was the better title. The better title. Hashtag. Sorry, hashtag. Come on, Wendy's gone early. This was pre-hashtags.

Kids ask your grandparents. So I was about to get on stage. Oh, I'll tell you about her fainting first. During the opening scene. Just very quickly, before hashtags, what was the pre-hash tag equivalent of a hashtag? I don't think the boss one was there. What do you mean? Sorry to ask the hard question. It's a very good question.

It's a very good question. Sorry Tom, I'm one that I wasn't quite prepared for actually. Just to pick you up on this. Look, look, I don't want to pass on you on this. If you're having a lot in the Sam fucking hell you want about. We've said what we've said, we're going to... I mean, what... The message is clear.

Before hashtags, what were there before hashtags? I think it was very obvious a point. Yeah, it's very obvious a point. It's not obvious an answer, though. No, but I stand by the question. The question still remains unanswered. What was there before a hashtag? I turn the question to you, actually.

I think this is a bit like theology, isn't it? You know, it's a bit like when you ask, what was there before God? If God created the world, Hashtag the Lord. Did He create Himself? And if so, what was there before the Lord? He blew my mind out there. Very much chicken on the egg. Absolutely. What was there before eggs?

Before God, there was chicken on the egg. Before eggs. I think the chicken on the egg thing is you have an answer to this. Yeah, I think we've been through this. We've the egg thing is you have an answer to this. Yeah, I think we've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We've been through this. We're having chicken and the head chicken's walking first though The big question is the head of a chicken. Do you know the fear to use be called the egg and egg?

Fuck in the day back in the good old days. I used to be called the egg and egg So that's a great egg. So I'm on this great wooden egg. We call it a stage so We know uh very very quickly just off. So we know her. Oh, very quickly, just yesterday. I know you are. Oh, no, no, no. So we're going to get to the end of the sunny day.

I think we all know what's going on here. We've found the spine of the episode. Oh, I see. We found the spine of the egg. We found the very spine of the egg is this beautiful spine of the egg. I mean, the egg, yes. When it finishes, huge crescendo.

It's standing out. Absolutely. Is this a theatre podcast? Because it seems like whenever we're in this room, we're back at the A-Cast Studios, whenever we're in this room, we get very theatrical. I'll tell you what, we certainly have a great eye for structure. Not my words, the words of someone on iTunes

who's going to write a review saying they have a great eye for structure. Do you know what, that's such a lovely thing of them to write. It would be brilliant when they do. I can't wait to write it. Finally, they're acknowledging our eye for structure. Their eye for structure on eye for tunes. LAUGHTER So, yeah, also if you would like to tweet us at Pappy's Tweet

and just compliment us on our eye for structure. First structure. So, yes, I did a filming job where I had to be in a crowd. Some would say I was an essay. So, I would say I was a featured artist. Just talk us through your life. Heralously, basically. I was what line you had.

I was perilously close to being a supporting artist, yes, isn't it? Yeah. I had no lines. I was an crowd. But did you have some facial things? So I'd gone through the audition process I was in a crowd. But did you have some facial features? So I went to... I'd gone through the audition process of being Manning Crout.

So I was male fan one. So they sent a car for me. Oh, number one. They sent a car for me. I had a trailer. Hashtag male fan one. But then at the end of the day, I was brought out just to be in the crowd with 200 essays. And because they'd run out of time, they were no close. So they just did loads of sweeping shots of the crowd and then I went home. Oh wow, but I was congratulations by the way. They said they said to the crowd,

they said let's go this way. Was it a film though? No, it's for a sitcom. Yeah, I know. So I was really, really surprised. Jimmy, we used to have our own team. Yeah, I know, I know. Very, very interesting day for me. I was next to a guy in the crowd and they said, okay everyone, we just to just come over here. And I said, once more onto the breach dear friends and the guy launched into the full speech. Oh, I love it. The full speech.

I absolutely love it. Really loudly with his arm on my shoulder. It was a really intense moment. It did make it seem like you'd started that. I mean, and I don't know the rest of that speech. Isn't it, that is the question. What? No is the question. No, the question is what was we do before hashtags and please if you know the answer, send us a review on iTunes detailing our eye for structure. At at at at Pappy's Tweet as well

if you'd like to get attached via Twitter and. And use the hashtag hashtag. I choose for structure. Stop, stop, stop. Good luck spelling that. So, there you were. So congratulations by the way. Oh, thank you. On the work and you've not congratulated me on doing a play 20 years ago, so.

Yeah, I know. Well, you know, 20 years ago I was doing plays and I had lines that goes, no, Manning Crowd. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Incredible. And there was a guy, sorry, just very quick. No, no, no, no. Another feature guy you had his own trailer

was Red Faced Man. Oh, that could have been your role. The team played in red. And we got on to set, and the second A.D. said, where's your red face paint? And he said, no, no, I'm just a man with a face. And he said, oh, sorry. I thought your adani was Red Faced Man. And he was like, that's just a man with face. And he said, oh, sorry, I thought you were Daniels Red Face Man.

And he was like, that's the name of my character. I think it's because I was supposed to have a lived in face. And he was like, oh, well, carry on as you were. Mission accomplished, mate. Oh, boy. Red Face Man. So, a little fan one. Male fan one and red face one.

More onto the reach. Dear friends. Dear friends. I can't wait to see that though. It sounds good. So, So this play, a prequel to Pan. If you will.

A prequel to Pan. So I was a teenage tear away. I was playing a proto James Dean. I was playing this reprobates that my mother was taking to meet with a scientist who I didn't realise this. Hang on, what? He was going to turn me into a formaldehyde, like an embalmed guy, work of art for someone's house. What? Yeah, it was a sort of hang on.

Like, it was a sort of sort of, sort of, like the mom was selling her, type thing. The mom was selling her, like, the mom was selling her juvenile son. Basically, the son, yeah, she was like, I'm sick and tired of him, he's a waste of space. He'd be better used as a hat stand in someone's house. This is a big show. It was a good play, man. Hang on. Was it around about the time that body works

was making all the headlines? Yeah, I guess it probably was around the two. I was like, please. But you know what, you can get inspiration from anywhere. Absolutely, and why not? And you know what they say, genius steals. If it had been 10 years later, it would have been that walking with dinosaurs show.

They would have, yeah, absolutely. They would have said, we're going to paint a micastica sores and stick them in the hallways. And if it was nowadays, it should have been a hashtag to join, yeah. hashtag stripping for the link with children. And if we just tied together, laid across a join. Yeah, hashtag, hashtag, the people for the link with children who just tied together, laid across a rash.

Yeah, could be either a raft or a hashtag. That's what it, that's what was there before. That's what was there. Raffed, raffed, raffed. There we go. Nature's hashtag, the raft. Absolutely right. And then it was Noughts and Crosses

and then it was hashtags. Yeah. What came first, the Noughts and Crosses or the raft? The raft. Has anybody ever played Noughts or Crosses or the Raft? The Raft, the Raft. Has anybody ever played Noughts and Crosses on a Raft? That's how it started. Of course, think about it. Robinson Crusoe and his girlfriend, A,

wash up on the beach. Is that a man-fried A? Is that a man-fried A? He's got a man-fried A. He'd never read Robinson Crusoe, man-fried A. He's never will. His girlfriend, he was a movie, but it was based on the phrase man- Friday, or not on the name man Friday.

Robins and Cruisers, I feel like one of those books. Everyone knows the story. If you're ready by now, you're like, I'm not gonna give it a go. I did read it, actually. How did you enjoy it? You know, there's only about half a dozen books I've actually read. When did you read it?

Oh yeah, it was a long time ago. Long time ago. Long time ago, that. Long time ago. You can't think, boy, now, the amount of books I'm never gonna read. It's a pretty tough read, actually. I didn't. Long time ago. You can't think of buying that. The amount of books I'm never going to read. It's a pretty tough read, actually. I didn't enjoy it, though. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so know if it existed, but there was a sort of a porno of people having sex with that. Yeah, it was cool, that was far less. So that when we...

What? Wait, you can't do that. That didn't have the sound effect. You can't do a spit-take. 15 seconds between the sit and the spit. You can't sit, sit... That was just a sip-take. That was just a sip-take.

Oh, which guy, a genuine spin-take? So that we can. Yeah. Sorry, I was just sitting. Oh, which guy did you win a spin take? Sorry, I was... I got a drinking spit. Now, that's a little back-up. Dear listener, for you, anything. I would drink spit. That's my first rule for the Lixeter Drink spit. So I was in this plot.

Can we just close this little thought first? I quite like the played it. Okay. Can we just close this little thought first? Close the thought like the played it. Robins and Crusoe and his mum Friday, wash up on the beach. They pull the raft up and then he goes, Oh, well, I, your turn. And in the sand, under the raft, he's drawn. He's drawn a little X and he's like your turn.

The thing about drawing an X is- It goes with a nore. The thing about drawing an X on the beach, no punought. The thing about drawing an X on the beach. No pun intended. I want to draw an X. On the beach. And is that people might think you, that's where you've buried treasure.

Oh, yeah. That's true. But then you put a nought next to it to say, there's no treasure here. Someone put an X on the beach and they'll be like, look, someone's going to think this treasure is that. No, there's no treasure here. Oh.

What? Here then. And then X0X, which obviously nowadays means. Hugs and kisses. Hugs and kisses. So that's, and then him and Man Friday. Had a hug and a kiss. A little cuddle in the kiss. And actually the time flew by quite nicely.

The end. Oh, you have read it. Yeah. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER So, there you are on stage. About to be dipped in from a holder height and turn into a mummy. About to be, yeah, or a...

And remain a child forever, it is Peter Pan. It's very Peter Pan. It's who fainted, the woman playing the scientist. So actually, no, no, I think it wasn't the woman playing my mother. What happened was this, the woman who was like the scientist's assistant, who brought me on. So we walked on and she was sort of showing me around the lab And my my mom was about to come and meet was it like monster bash? Well, I was working my lab late one night

Was it like golly lab the coolly lab To what they did to my goolies I assume donating the science the coolly lab is to be studied like letting's brain Love is some type of my standup show. The cootie lab. Hashtag flocked to the car. Oh, I say step inside my cootie lab. Producer ever was so unimpressed with that. Paul the real face.

That's right. You saw him. Absolutely, right. There's the same face you pulled when she saw my show. LAUGHTER Have a meeting. Can I have a lift? I live in Lungyton. How's meeting?

Hey! Hey there guys! If you've been enjoying the flat share episodes that we've been putting out this year, and we really have been, we've really been enjoying putting these out for you. What a treat it's been. We cannot do this guys without the support of our patrons. So if you're a big fan of the podcast or if you've just started listening and you want to support us, then please get on board with the Patreon.

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It's a join in the fun. It's a very just join in the fun. Have a sweet day. I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. Have a sweet day. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Poor things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.

A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's a like theaters, December 15th. You didn't realize it immediately, it was a body horror thing. There was a twist coming.

There was, the twist was, you know, that- Why don't you put on some of this lotion? It's really nice. And then suddenly you start being embalmed. The only bit that I found, like genuinely taxing as a performer was the last- I could hear me as a performer. Well, like, the last, that was the last scene I had to be,

I had to be there, like, stood there, like, no, no, no, no. The lights went down and then I was the last scene I had to be there, stood there, like, the lights went down, and then I was just there, had to stand there all still. Why went to the tail? Yeah, exactly, like the statue of Winter's tail. But I was thinking of David Essexon. Oh, I thought, Leo Winter's tail. Very hard to dance to, you just have to stand there.

Yeah, the winter's tail. I met David Essex once. What? Yeah, he opened it. We found a new spy! He opened a door for me. Hang on. Oh, that's not a sparring.

Did he get the part in the play? He got me the part in the play. Where, hang on, what door did Essex open for you? It was. You've got three guesses. What door? Did David Essex open for Matthew Cross? The front door.

Of my... David Essex house. No, no. It wasn't that. six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk.

I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I think it was a six-hour walk. I mean, I'd go and see it. He's a good actor, David Essex. Although the cast works out and see it. Do you see it down and see it if Cosby's in it? Was it Harrod's?

It's my guess. Oh, got one more guess at it. That is good actually. It wasn't Harrod's, right? No. Final guess. Clarke. Was it the stage door? It wasn't the... Well... Oh! Was it the stage door? It wasn't the... Well... Ooh!

Was it the stage door? It was... A stage door? A backstage door at Aether. It was... It was not a theater. Was it in the green room of a... I did a chat show.

You're very close. I'll tell you what it was. It was backstage at Loosewomen. And... I... I was on loose women with last leg was filming next door, but we shared the backstage area. Shared anecdotes. Shared a lot.

A lot of laughs, a lot of tears. Myself and Stacey Solomon, Colleen Nolan, you know. The loose women. The loose women. To the loose women. To the loose women. And David Essex was a guest. And what a guest.

But you know what? So handsome. He's still got those piercing eyes. Yes. You know, he's got that sort of, you know, he had that sort of gypsy style. He wore the neck and cheap. He retains that wild man.

He retains the gypsy energy. He retains the gypsy energy. And I was genuinely starstruck. Grace. My heart skipped a beat. It was so exciting. Those moments when you're genuinely star struck are really exciting, aren't you? Love it.

That little tingle goes up the spine. Yeah. And you think this is, you know, this is the man who sang. You're next to Grafcon. Yeah. Yeah. And you're right. He's holding the door for me, me, baby.

What did you say? You kissed the Grafcon, baby. I said, the only way is Essex. Lovely. And then you walked the wrong way through the door. Yeah, I then followed him and he said piss off. Sorry. The play, the play is the thing. The play is the thing to catch the conscience of the listener. Okay. Um, I'm not, I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. I want to know.

I want to know. Is this kind of, are we talking like a black mirror? Kind of situation. Yes, very much. Very much. To black mirror. To black mirror. I don't know, Reverend Wollipura.

What are the situations where this mother, like how bad a son of you been, right? Right. What are you rebelling against? What have you got? I think it got a jar of formaldehyde. I basically was, I think the idea behind it was, it was the author himself, toying with his own guilt as a, you know, I think we all view our, especially in your 20s when you are quite a lazy fucker. You view yourself as being a bit of a waste of space. A burden.

A burden, exactly. On the boomers. And you sometimes think, you know, wouldn't it be better if I just wasn't here? And he was sort of channeling that. And I think sometimes parents must think, you know, I gave a lot of my life to you. And now you are wasting it by sitting in your room,

smoking hashish and making... Two, three, I only want. Three months on. Buking that curse, I'm slack! She can't get a job yet. She loves the gange. She loves the gange. Bird's not the boomers, he's a great album title, by the way. Bird's not the boomers.

By Bob Gildoff. LAUGHTER David Essex. David Essex and Bob Gildoff. Who, let's get over it? Both got that same Gypsy energy. Yeah. That sounds like a backhanded compliment by the way.

To say Gypsy Energy. Yeah, like to go. He's got a real Gypsy energy. Oh, wait, it makes me think of the Richard Thompson song B's wing, you know that. Great. You know that sort of. No, no. Well, I'll tell you what we'll do.

Well, Emma, we'll drop in the entire direction. We won't. We won't. But go and listen to it and spot it. I know exactly what you mean. I think when I think of Chipsy Energy, she was a rare thing. Pissing eyes. Firing as a beast. Kind of like a... So, finer.

Breath of wind would blow her away. Yeah. Like kind of full head of hair. She was running wild. Pissing eyes. A full head of hair is absolutely... You don't have to have, you don't have, like, it doesn't have to be across the top of the head, but you've got to have a lot on the side. There's a lot going on. Yeah. There's still lots of hair present.

Bandana. Oh, yeah. And like a swing in the hip. A swing in the hip. A two-ray-a energy. An energy. Like, two-ray-a energy. A two-ray-a energy.

Oh, yeah. A hashtag, big, two-ray-. A hashtag big two-ray energy. That's what we've got. Great. Raffed to our energy. We used to be called exactly. And the good old. Raffed to our energy.

Are we still speaking English? Does anyone know what the fuck we're on about here now? So, I'm going to say, we've broken the spine of this. No, no, we're still on the spine. That's the beauty of it. We're coming straight back in. The spine is strong. Let's get back to the spine. You were a bird on the beavers. You were a bird on the beavers. So, no, we're still on the spider that's the beauty of it. We're coming straight back in. The spider is strong. Let's get back in. You were a bird on the beamers.

You were a bird on the beamers. So the first night anyway, the woman who was showing me round is the opening scene. I'm being shown round the laboratory and I don't know why I'm there. Oh, okay. Yeah. And halfway through, she's looking at me and I just see her eyes have gone. I just go, oh, you're not here. They've rolled into the back of my head. Yeah, yeah, you're not in the room. So I think she gone four months to mash. She's, she gone bearing. She was possessed. Goolele lab.

She was in the goolele lab. Mentally, she was in the goolele lab. It's another back at the compliment. I tell you what, you've checked out, you're in the goolele lab. And I've got to tell you, I've been in the goolele lab for about 10 minutes. So I grabbed her hand, and she was playing an older lady. So I grabbed her hand, and I grabbed her elbow, and I walked her off the stage,

and I sat her down in a chair backstage and went straight back on and finished the scene. Oh, I'm too much, bro. Wow. Yeah. What did you do, your lines to yourself? I'm not going to lie to you. I did once more to the priest. What I did was I just sort of potted round a little bit, you know, looked around, and I sort of pointed out the things that were going to be pivotal in the rest of the play. And by this point, the scientist, it was also backstage.

He came out. He rocked out and started his ego. Have you watered the brains today? Do you remember he lines from the play? No. Oh, I wish I could. I wish I could. Do you still ever get like an anxiety dream when you think you're doing that play coming out on stage? You know what? Actually, I thought this is for me. Once she was off stage and I had the whole... That's it. I trod the boards to myself, I thought, this is pretty stand-up. Full is odd.

You're the odd killer. I took all my clothes out of your boy out. I took your beret on. I got my... Absolutely. I talked about Europe a lot. And... And you did half in French?

Half of it in French. Refusing for the play. Absolutely. It was good fun, actually, being on stage on my own. I thought, this is for me. I'm gonna join this catch group. I'm gonna take, I'm gonna start sound up. Obviously I love sharing the boards with you guys,

but I thought I gotta find two people who are not gonna faint. And so I found two big strapping fuckers from World of Hilton. Not fainted yet. You're not fainted. Yes. Hello.

Here we go. New spine. Well, we haven't done either the motto. Oh, that's, oh yeah. Well, we'll wrap it up later and my second motto. We've got the master motto. The motto, that's where we're going to finish, surely. But have you ever fainted?

There are spines within spines. Not my words. The words of an ITM, do you? It's there. A key life structure they can spin spines within spines and always make sense. Gosh, I can't imagine reading that and then thinking, yeah, I want to listen to that spines with the spines. Spines with the spines is incredibly inspiring. Not really. Spinaing.

Would you go, spines without spines is a good band name spines without spines spines within spines What about spines without spines burden on the boomers? Spies without spines burden on the boomers strong. I'm about to faint now Clarke so you fainted I don't like to think of you fainted because I see you as such a constant as such a you know You're a broad-shouldered high-arsed winner and I don't like to think of you feint because I see you as such a constant, as such a, you know, you're a broad-shouldered high-ast winner. And I don't want ever to. Is the height of the arse a problem because it's your centre of gravity, not slightly too high and make it be prone to faint.

Well, maybe that's it. Well, if you stand up for the list of high, you should explore these going a bit too high. Yeah, yeah, we get to get to the list. We should explain Clarke's arse a bit too high. Yeah, you get to get to get to the minute. For the list of home, we should explain. Clarke's ass is famously half way up his back. It's not famous. It's in the center of his spine.

Spain. But he's got a bum within his spine. He has to get specially made sure. And his trousers are twice the length of the normal trousers. So guys, none of this is true, listen to that by the way. He has to buy the same sort of trousers that Simon Cowell wore in the kind of mid 2000s. It's a high-ass.

It's a high-ass. It's high-art. It's fine, not my words. But it's a high-ass. In words of an eye-chins review. I think it's just per... You guys. It's over-put.

No, it's a shell. It's gone too far up. It's a shelf. It's the sort of thing. It's a coastal shelf. It's very much, it's not eroding though. Oh, no, no, no, no. Quite the opposite.

Your, your, your, your ass is traveling up your back to kiss your shoulder blades. I've always said that. By the end, yeah, by, maybe by the end of your life you'll have a hunch. By the end. And that hunch will be that you're asking out. By the, my, my, my, ass is going to go over your face. It's going to come up the back.

You're going to put the person in the world with a comb over ass. It's clucky bald. Well, yeah, he is, but... He's asked. His ass is so hairy as a fringe. It's like, and it dangles down over his eyes. Don't part his hair. Don't part his...

I'll see you're being pronounced as a surprise. A clucky can part his hair just by having a strong meal. That's what they say about it. They do say that about it. A man who could part his hair just by having a strong meal. Please welcome him. Please welcome him. It's Benedict.

Classhole. Right, those are the words I live by. Absolutely. That's your motto. That's your motto. You fainted. Oh yeah. Yeah, I had a fight with my brother before dinner.

Hang on, did he knock you out because that's not fainting? No. Oh, did he put you in a sleeper hold? No. Did he fart in your face? Oh my God, please no. What he actually did was we'd been watching a lot of American wrestling. It was the 90s.

He grabbed my bike, he'd be by the ankles, upended me. Open my legs. Oh no. And stamped. Oh no, no. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

Which is so good at me. Sorry. Sorry. You see on wrestling. Yeah, but they're not doing it really. Oh no. Oh no. Do you own your backs on the floor?

Your legs are in the air. Yeah, who you open for legs. And he stamps writing stamps. Yeah, right down on the me down. Right down. Oh my goodness, Grace, I'm so sorry. I was both winded and crying and just kind of lost consciousness. And fainted into the kitchen.

Came to with the site of my dad reading the newspaper kind of looking. I'm giving you the three-code. One, two. There was just counting his nuts. Checking their files still there. Three. Ding-ding. After the taxi driveris with you?

That has triggered a memory with me. I actually just remembered, I actually did that to my co-star in the play. LAUGHTER That makes sense, no. I was improvised. You said, I ain't going in your taxi dermi? Bim!

Bim! LAUGHTER I don't know why you didn't do that. I didn't know why you didn't do mine. LAUGHTER Holy shit, did you know what against trouble for that? No, my dad... I don't know why you do it. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Holy shit. Did you ever put against trouble for that?

No, my dad was such a incompetent rule. It was a book here. Let's say it. You mean it? No, it's just a binary one here. If my mum had been the residence of... Oh, here we go. It was not a place for many rules. Yeah, it was a free for all

An absolute free for all it was an absolute it was absolutely I was playground This used to be my playground This used to be let's not do the next line. So that's what you're going to remember for me. Well, hello. I watched Neverending Story. But I remember. And I've got feeling, I could be wrong, but I got,

I remember in this right, in Neverending Story. The theme to was by Lamar. There was by this big ugly wolf that tried to catch the kids. Yeah. And at one point. No, you're thinking, do I punch it in good? Not, not, not up.

No, the big long thing, was he called... No, no, there was like a wolf. There was a wolf as well. There's a good flying bear thing. That was the love of the dog, isn't it? It's a dog with no legs. Yeah, it's like a dragon, but like, yeah. It's like a furry dragon.

A furry dragon. A dogron. If you will. A dogron? Or if you've never seen this film, you'll... It A dogren. If you will. A dogren? Or if you've never seen this film, you'll... Oh, it's so good. Is it still hold up? I doubt it, but...

Oh, hang on. Well worth a watch, though. Definitely worth a watch. Get it via a cast or wherever you get your image. And... Bit long, though. Never ending story. Bit long.

Bit long. I mean, I love ending story? Bit long. Bit long. I mean, I love how he repeated the title just a bit. Just a thing. The king that we weren't getting it. Oh, we got it. Sure. I love it. This is actually.

Thank you. So, yeah, this reminds you of something that may or may not have happened. We watched the... Oh, no. This bit happened, but the bit that in the film. Anyway, there's a wolf. Yeah, the wolf is like in a cave. My way comes out, yeah, it comes out the cave. It's really scary. And then we... That finished and then Dad was pretending to chase us's a wolf. Yeah, but my way comes out the cave, really scary bit. And then that finished and then Dad was pretending to chase us as a wolf.

And I turned around to protect ourselves and punched him in the goolees. Oh, yeah. And it's the first time I'd ever seen my dad hurt. Yeah. I'd hurt him. I was crying. Dad was in pain. Oh, no.

I got sent to my room. It was a real, that's a big, big early memory for me. But that, you know, that would have been, it wouldn't have been, there would be no malice to that, whatsoever. That would have been sort of giddy, over at sight. Exactly.

And not realizing that that's what much does. Be impunched in the nuts is really. Maybe that is when you stop being a new dad, that when you get pushed in the nuts. Cleo's kicked me in the balls a few times. Oh, well, there we go. If she's on the changing mats, which is kind of a sort of, you know, ball height, basically, occasionally she's, because she's getting really into the kicking at the moment.

So occasionally, it's a swift heel to the nuts sack. Just to keep me in my place. Let's go to the parking round and get to the full chef. So, Clarkie, would you come round and lie on the ground, spread your legs and let me drop my child onto your nuts. Please. Please. Well, I mean, if it makes for a good spine then yeah. Okay, it makes for a very strong spine. So what, so a backstay, did you take away?

So a backstage, really, the nerves were high at this play. And so I was your character, the bad son. He was a refur smoke in lunatic. He'd fallen hard. This feels like something from the 1950s, this play in life. It was just a waste rule. And basically, it was a sort of weird morality tell of like, you know, if you don't live your life properly,

you don't deserve to live. You deserve to be some rich person. Oh, so was that? I thought that the message of the... I thought that was like the start point and the end point would be like, more on the mumma being like, go easy mate.

No, no, no, the end point was, it was discovered what it was that was happening to me. Wow, he talked about like the importance of... I guess it was sort of like a fight club-ish element, sort of the importance of living and how important life was, but then rather than giving me a second chance, rather than saying, you live but live every day, importantly or whatever,

the lights went down and next thing, you know, I'm stood there with my arms up, with a bowler hat on or something. Right, I'm like, I'm trying to think of Mary Poppett. I try to think of war flying the kite. Yeah, and I'm barely hanging off my arm or something like that. Some spare keys dang off the end of my nose.

I don't know if I'm going to throw this nose. Where are you hooking that brother? All right, it's hard. Rig and Morty are sitting. I flock to it. I flock to it, yeah. The motto. The motto, lived life to the full.

The motto was written, there was graffiti on just the door way that you had to go through and on to walk straight out onto the stage. And there was the phrase, the universe supports me always. And I thought, that's a quite a nice thing to have in the back of your mind. That you know what, it may seem like you're opening the door, you're going out to perform to, let's face it, 12 people, but it seems scary at the time. Don't worry, the universe is there, the universe is looking out for you, the universe is a constant in your life. And it's, you know, I think that's actually giving me a tremendous amount of strength and comfort over the years, that when I'm nervous,

I will think to myself, the universe supports you always. Wow. The universe is there for you. Clark, did you feel like that after your brother had just done the universe? Did you feel like the universe was supporting you? I felt like my parents definitely weren't there. I felt like they should have been barmed by brother.

And the other one really, really quickly, I saw an interview with Michael Jackson. And yeah, I know. I know, I know, I know he's been cancelled. Which is, it's a strong term, he's dead. Literally, literally cancelled. He's been cancelled by the earth. By the universe. Before the song.

Before the people cancelled by the earth song. Before the big tour he was going on, the final tour that he never actually went on. Just one of the interviewers, it was like, he was kind of walking down a red carpet, it's like a red carpet, he pressed comforts, he typed thing, as he was gonna launch some statue of inflating down the river or another one of those sort of things.

And someone said to him, Michael, you're feeling nervous and he said, he looked at them and he said, never nervous, always good. And I think anytime I'm feeling nervous, I'm about to enter into something I think this is a nerve-wracking situation. Just think, don't be nervous, be good.

Never nervous, always good. And I think if you're starting a new job or something like that, I have that in the back of my mind. Never nervous, always good. And you can help? It does help, actually. And it's just having a sort of positive outlook on things of thinking, what do we gain by nerves?

What do we gain by thinking? I'm acknowledging nerves is one thing, but forgiving yourself for being nervous and pushing through that and going, no, you know what? I deserve to be here. The universe supports me always. There's a reason I've been given this job. There's a reason I've been recruited for this thing. There's a reason I'm about to step job, there's a reason I've been recruited for this thing, there's a reason I've got to step on stage.

Why be nervous? Just be good. Just be good. Just be good. Wow. Ironically. Just be good with something Michael Jackson was that hate for doing this? It is not.

Just be good. Just be safe, mate. Just be good. Maybe Michael Jackson should have been a bit more nervous. If I was Michael Jackson, I'd be very nervous. We can't end on that. But we're gonna. Michael Jackson should have been a bit more nervous. If I was Michael Jackson, I'd be very nervous. We can't end on that. It's an arc. Oh, not like Noah's arc.

No, but the parabola of a story. Yes, that's right. How do you spell it? PA-R-O-E-B-O-L-E. And the symbol of the story. A parabola. Were you taught that song the nursery? Yes, very.

It's a good nursery, man. I mean, it's all about parabolas. Yes, I find an arc to that one., very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very You will stand around on the wind wheels of my round. The Thomas Crown affair. Thomas Crown affair. Now, if you would like to join the Patreon, now we're always making bonus content out. Should I join the Patreon? No, you don't need to.

Right. I'll send you a code. I'll send you a code. You can. Lucky Listener dear. I mean, what you're basically doing is you would chuck some money to the Patreon. I'd be happy to do it. And then that would get split after expenses for ways.

It's a financially unsound model for us. So yeah, so you may as well just hang on to your money, you keep all of it. Well, listener dear, you are in a more privileged position where you are wise to join the Patreon. Jealousy am, have you? You are wise to join the Patreon, jealous I am of you. And why not? It's greeting. That's always been our motto for the Patreon.

Absolutely right. So hop on the Patreon. There's a lovely community there. You get bonus footage. Yeah. You get all kinds of shit. We're still going to sort out the t-shirts. Yeah, you know what?

You know what? As of speaking, I've sorted out the stickers and badges. Have you? I've sorted out the stickers and badges. Have you led? So that's going to happen very, very soon. That'll be a Christmas present for you. I know T-shirts coming down the line in the new year. The t-shirt to come in down the top. Just a ta- You've been on the site, it's like a table. That's because I realised I haven't done it yet. That's going to set us back a few months on those t-shirts.

Tom's currently injured, so I wouldn't- You'll get your t-shirts for Easter. I'm hand-sowing them, listen to the act. Tom now, Tom, let's talk on it. So can you tell me who you're working on it with? Listen, and have you ever even Googled self-printing t-shirts? Listen, dear, and insight into this. Self-printing t-shirt. I mean, yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, yeah.

I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah.

I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. me who you're working on it with. Listen, and have you ever even Googled self-printing t-shirts? Listen, Adir, and insight into this. Tell pretty t-shirts, I mean. In my house, we've been without a toilet seat for 12 months. Was my job? We were without a toilet seat.

Now, it was my job as well, but I couldn't find a toilet seat to match. So, to match. Yeah. And I had to do a thing where you take a photo of your toilet and the old seat. I have to do that. And you had to send it to someone and they would tell you what it was. You keep sending it to me weirdly.

I've got to find a toilet seat. I know. And also, I don't know how listeners feel about this. I love, are you quite enjoying not having a toilet seat? Oh, you've taken the toilet seat off entirely. We had a crack in ours. I've got no toilet seats. I put the cracking out.

And you just go to porcelain You do porcelain if carcass racking house of course he's lying across the toilet Of course he is traid mark position for going to the lighthouse the foot on stance sure I I enjoy not having a toilet seat your ass gets lower you need to get high-at better for your bowels We'll put it out there. It's a very very very good point. Thank you. For more tips like that, join the Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Share. If you would like to send us an email,

if any of the things we've discussed in this show have touched the nerve, it's Pappy's Flat Share at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. Were you in the audience the night Crosby performed his fateful play? Did anybody else check in? Oh my goodness.

Some of us to see it. Anyone got any memories? Have you ever seen any memories? That's a different, anyone got any memories? Send them in. Anyone, if you've got any memories, do get in tight. And please, please be honest.

Please, or please, do be honest. Have these flat share at gmail.com. Please be honest. Stick a memory in our power box. And actually, my worst ever blank on stage was at a Papi's gig, where we all completely crumbled on stage. I think that outroaged tonight's get was anyone in the audience for that? Was anyone in the audience at any

race tonight? I think your worst blank on stage might be forgetting John Kerns' name this series. Oh, that was a bad one. That was a spectacular season. I would say that one. Yeah. Well, if you've got a memory, leave it in our PO box and help create a memory. Send a memory to create a memory. And guys, don't go making up a memory. Don't make up memories, guys.

To God's sake. Make memories, don't make up memories. And that is a real motto, to everybody. And that is the motto of our producer, Emma Corsham. Corsham team! Please stay tuned for the Patreon, neighbourhood watch, while called. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh Hello baby! Hello baby! This is the Big Bop us looking for!

And welcome to another Patreon neighborhood watch roll call! BAM! I was doing the mashed potato! I couldn't get him on the plane. Hello baby. Hello. I was doing the mashed potato. I was doing the mashed potato.

I was doing the mashed potato. He was doing the mashed potato. I was doing the mashed potato. Hello baby. Hello baby. I was doing the mashed potato. I was doing the mashed potato. I was doing the mashed potato. But I'm not French. I got across those rooms right now, baby. I'm not French. I'm doing the mashed potato.

With Lily and Harry French. I was doing the mashed potato. Hello. I was doing the mashed potato. But I'm not French. I got across those rooms right now, baby. I'm not French. I'm doing the Mesopotamia with Lily and Harry French. I was doing the Mesopotamia. Hello, baby. But my surname's not Graham. Why?

I'm gonna question those from inside now, baby. You're not French, baby. You're not French, baby. I was doing the Mesopotamia. You are doing the Mesopotamia. We're in Philip Graham. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. I was doing the mess, but you were doing the mess, but you were doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the

mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the mess, but you're doing the No, but my first name is Martel. I was doing the mesh potato. With Martel. No, baby, baby, baby. I was doing the mesh potato. He was doing the mesh potato, but I Oh, baby. I was doing the match, but did I? He was doing the match, but did I? But I'm not French. Oh, not French.

Where's my hat gone? John? Thank you, John, for being part of the Patreon. Give us the hat, back, please. I was doing the match, but he was doing the match. He was doing the match, but back please. I was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash but he was doing the mash floor. I went there in the lift down there with the wheels. Do it Smith. Smith. Let me say it again. He's the Stuart Swift. Smith. Smith. It rhymes with lift. I even got the words right there. I thought it's a Smith. I'm

doing the man. I'm doing the man. I'm doing the man. I'm a doin' the man. I'm doin' the man's pretend. I'm doin' the twist. He was doin' the twist. I was doin' it all over. He was doin' it all over. Inglash. He died in the man's pretend. I was doin' the man's pretend.

I was doin' it all the way for please. Please. Right, down to Bristol. Bristol. I was doin' it with my girlfriend. Bristol. Please to Bristol. Bristol. How are we doing? We're my good friends. Bristol. Please, meet Bristol.

Bristol. Bristol. Listen, we apologize to Mike Ball. No, sorry, who was in that one? Lily and Harry French, Philip Graham, Mardel, John, Stuart Swift and Pistol, because we fuck that. But we're not going to record it because we've run out of time. That's conclude! This week's neighborhood watch... ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to act in love for.

It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.