Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (No Happy Birthday) S10E30

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Some fierce negotiating around an idea Tom has to save the planetPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. I am Thomas Edward Perry. And I am Benedict David Clark. And I am Matthew Paul Crosby. Welcome to officially, uh, most formal start to, uh, uh, house meeting everyone. It's a house meeting, of course. And it's time for us to find out what the listeners, uh, middle, well, full name is, and it is actually listener, sincerely dear. Oh, it's nice, isn't it?

So it's in the middle name. Sincerely's their middle name. Greetings, listener, sincerely dear. Sincerely is my middle name. Yeah, exactly right. LSD, coincidence. And you decide. People do ask when we get our crazy ideas from, and that's what we do.

We take a lot of psychedelic drugs, and then four or five days later, we record these podcasts whilst we speak. So if you enjoy these podcasts, don't forget to join our Patreon. Now, a few people have asked us this, and yes, when you join, the second you join, you get all of the back catalog of minus episodes. That's like opening your front door and there's a dump truck full of content,

just even content onto your doorstep. I think emphasis on the word dump there, yeah. It's 75 plus episodes of bonus content and they're all there, including all of the flat share lockdowns We've got over 50 episodes of flat share lockdown you get all of them the second you join the patreon $5 and a buzz goodbye to sweet sweet silence You need never you need never experience silence again No, you know they say silence is golden,

but I tell you what, our Patreon is planned. Exactly right, exactly right. Do not be played anymore by your own thoughts be plagued by a house instead. In fact, I think your cat phrase was better. Yeah. But thanks so much for being playing by our thoughts. Also, we're going to be doing another live flat-sheast

slam down. We're actually live. We're actually live. So far, we have booked Joe Wilkinson. So the return of Joe Wilkinson, very, very exciting to have him back on the show. I messaged him the other day. He said, can I do it in the evening? It's

in the evening Joe, so you're in luck and he said, and can I be terrible. So look forward to that. That should be on the 12th of August. If you go to eventbrite.co.uk and search for Papi's Flat Share, you should find the tickets there or you can go to our Twitter, which is at Papi's tweets and we will have a link in our pinned tweets. Right. Today is a real treat. We have a monolithic debate which brings about some brave results. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always weak? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting! What's the point? Does life have a meeting? House meeting!

Hello. Oi, Oi. Hello mate. So the other day, right, it was Cleo's first birthday. Congratulations Cleo. Congratulations. Yeah, yeah, she's made it. She made it through her first year.

She's doing pretty well. Do you say congratulations on a birthday? I guess you do. What do you say, congratulations? Like there are, I think, significant milestones you say, congratulations. Would you say congratulations on like a seventh birthday or a 23rd birthday?

I mean, 23rds a bit, it's a tough, you wouldn't say anything on a 23rd birthday. 23rd birthday, basically. I want to be able to look you in the eye if it was 23rd birthday. There's no point having a 23rd birthday, isn't it? I'd kind of shuffle past and kind of awkwardly tap the shoulder and just be like, no words and move on. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, that's right.

That's it. It's kind of, I think we could maybe do away with quite a few birthdays and make them better. I think that's actually a really good idea. So from that point on, it's coming from me and I'm big on my birthday. I mean, you know, famously, it's your favourite thing, your birthday. You go like, my partner's pregnant at the moment and every Thursday, congratulations.

Congratulations. Thank you. Every Thursday, she says it's, you know, it's birthday, it's been birthday another week older and I'm like, no way, not having that. We cannot, we cannot every Thursday say happy birthday to the baby. So it's like, why not?

If you get applauded for the NHS workers, you can say happy birthday to a baby. No it's like, why not? So if you get applauded for the NHS workers, you can say happy birthday to a baby. Don't get me started on that. No, no, it's okay. So now it's like once a month. So now when it's like, okay, it's seven months, then it's like, okay, I'll buy into it and I'll be like happy birthday, baby.

But obviously don't get used to this because we don't want to set this baby up feeling that every month we're going to be like happy birthday. So, like I'm saying, you know, call your jets. Well, but it has got me thinking. That's the thing it's got me thinking of this is like first birthday, great, celebrate the highlight of it. Cleo, you've earned it, congratulations. Well, also, it's not really for the baby at that stage. It's for the parents. Yes. You know, the baby doesn't

know it's, you know, Cleo doesn't know it's her birthday. Yeah. So I'll give you one and two. I think you can have one and two happy days. We could lose. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, no way. We can lose. We can lose. We can lose. The first one to be called. We could lose three or four. And then five. That's the first one. I remember. One, two, five. Thank you. Five is gonna be.

The hockey is speaking absolute sense here. Look, I was gonna say, I was with you, but I was gonna say, up to 18. You keep all the birthdays. I would say 18 to 100%. You mad, 14. You can be 14. You're keeping, you're keeping 14.

You mad, like what? You mad. No, you mad. No like You mad no you mad wait wait wait sorry bro No, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, turn to rub But are you fucking mad? Wait, wait, Paris, Paris, I take that on board, but are you mad? We've turned into Arsenal TV and I like it Also congratulations. Congratulations, but are you mad, bro? Um, 14, it's gone. Can you tell me what? I'm giving 14 the high hat. When you're younger, your birthdays mean everything.

Yeah, I was just saying the high hat doesn't mean getting rid of something, by the way. Give it the high hat. I wish it did. Clarky, your birthday stiller everything to you. I can't believe you try to pass this when you're young shit. So look, I'm telling you, it's sweeter for the weight, baby. You give them 13. Oh great, we're all celebrating you're a teenager.

There is no 14, I'm afraid. That happens without fanfare. 15 is fucking huge. 16 we're keeping. 17's gone, I'm afraid. 18, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, moment. Okay. Okay. When you are the young you are the longer a year feels, right? So if you say to a 13 year old kid, have a great birthday, by the way, you're not celebrating another birthday for two years. Yeah. You may as well say you'll never celebrate another birthday. Strap in snowflake and lucky millennial, what you're going to do, tweeter, bad

it. We need to take the look. These guys, they're too soft. You're always taking away 14. I'm taking away 14. I'm taking away 17. I know you've moved out of the London media bubble, but it is Vincent Ramonas. He's moved out and he's instantly making cuts. It's gone. I'm telling you, we can't afford, maybe that's what this really is is about Maybe I'm worried I won't be able to afford to keep my child in birthdays So so but it's also you're not even willing to say happy birthday because that's all that all that your partner is asking Sorry, why would you say happy birthday if we're not celebrating a birthday? This is what I'm prepared to say I

This is what I'm prepared to say 14 now That's it. Oh... This is what I'm prepared to say. 14 now. That's it. Ooh! I can just... 14 now. I hope this is not the kind of parent you're going to be. Hey, I'm going to go to town on 15. It's going to be bells and whistles, mate.

Happy 15th birthday. We love you. Why are you picking 15? It made the list. I don't know. I don't know. You do make the rules. You're making these rules right now. I'm just looking at the list and 14 didn't know. I don't know. I don't make the fucking rules. You do make the rules. You're making these rules right now.

Look at it, the list. I'm just looking at the list and 14 didn't make it but 15 did. You go, oh 15's there because you can go and see 15 films now. Ding ding ding ding ding. I genuinely for a second. I was like, that's a lot of films. I love a birthday. I love a birthday. It's films at whistles whistles. They're gonna be knackered. Too many films. Too many films if anything. Too many films. How, by the time you do 20s, you get a need an extra year just to get through all the films.

Okay, listen, if you, Easlington, Snowflakes, one of, I'm, you wanna ring fence, 18 under. That's what you wanna ring fence, isn't it? No, no, no, I wanna ring fence. You wanna take that off the under. That's what you want to ring fence, isn't it? No, no, no, I want to ring fence. You want to take that off the table. The first 30, the first 30 you get. Fuck me, I ain't gone. I mean this sincerely now, are you mad?

22, you're ring fencing 22. You're ring fencing 23. Yeah, that's where we started. Cross face. They're part of the problem, mate. I'm saying, listen, started cross. That's their part of the problem mate. I'm saying, listen, I'm saying it's not much of a birthday, 23 minutes, not a landmark birthday. No, I'm not saying it shouldn't happen.

Look, I'm coming across as a cruel dad. You're coming across as someone who wants to pack up the old people and send them off to Dignitas. You're saying just cause you're old, you can't have a burden, no, I'm not. No, Pary, I'm absolutely not. You're saying what you turn 30 mate, you're saying just cause you're old, you can't have heard of it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, look. 20, oh my god. What did you just pull out of you? Did you pull something out of you?

Where'd you get that shuttlecock from? It was underneath, it was behind. You sat on a shuttlecock, it's in time. That explains so much. It's been sat on a shuttlecock. Woohoo! Larry, that was underneath the sofa, that one. I thought there was a spring in your step.

Hey, that sounds like a, it just, it couldn't be a good saying, doesn't it? He was, he was sat, I tell you what, for that, did you listen to the birthday debate? He, Perry was sat on a shuttlecock for the whole time. Yeah, but you were literally sat on a shuttlecock, so it's not a, that's where it comes from. Where does the saying sat on a shuttlecock come from?

Oh, well, the great birthday debate of 2020. 2020's remembered for a lot of things, sure. But one of the main things. I don't think so. The great birthday debate, you remember when 14 was called? What, I'm gone. 14 was a birthday that used to be celebrated, back in the day, back in the mad old 20th century when... In the madbread days.

Gluttony ruined, yeah. The gluttony ruined the planet excess I tell you who'd support me Greta we're getting rid of 14 think of all the wrapping paper that's going think of all the Plastics that are being saved yes are you wrapping stuff in plastic I'm wrapping He gives it you in a plastic bag yeah most wrapping paper is not recyclable no I know I know. I need to tell you, 14's gone, my friend. Boom! wrapping paper for a first birthday as well, when the presents were like in the front room,

cleaning was playing around the presents before they got wrapped. She just didn't know they were her presents. Then we wrapped them. Yeah. And then literally handed them to her, she unwrapped them. She doesn't, I mean, she doesn't even care about the unwrapping process. We have to do most of the unwrapping, but it feels like you do it crossby you make it very pertinent point one is gone No, one birthday crossby just made the case for it There's no need to be here something here's something I

Wrapped paper should go yet that's it I think we can all agree for up in paper goes then there's no point having a fucking birthday. You're just going to have people think. No, but this is the thing we all know now we're living in the time of the gift bag and the great thing about the gift bag is you pop it in and then you like brilliant. I've also got something to give you your present back in a few minutes. Absolutely.

I've got some really nice gift bags that for some reason, I've started creeping their way towards the recycling. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Although I will say we do have a, we have a draw full of gift bags that I've never reused. Yeah, I'm concerned about that. I've got, I'm overwhelmed by gift bags. Does that mean that I don't give enough presents?

I don't give us, I mean, I think if I was more generous by present giving, then surely there'd be a healthy ratio of there'd barely be a gift bag in my house, you know, it's one in one out. You know what, I think the thing is, I often will buy the present on the way to the party, also buy the gift bag at the same time on the way to the party.

It's a little, often I'm a little bit, I'll It's a little bit of an extra five you don't need. You go to four quid bottle of wine but the gift bag is five quid. That's crept it up to a tenor. Oh, that bottle of echo falls was absolutely delicious though by the way. Lovely gift bag. Lovely gift. Never mind the wine stinks but enjoy the gift bag. Look at that.

You'll get somebody back out of that. There's your tenor, quit on the card. 49 Echo Falls, chuck the rest on the gift bag. Self-service check out your off. So, I've had an idea. Yeah, go on, yeah. I mean, I, don't think you lost your idea. It was fucking brilliant.

Don't think the great birthday debate's finished, I don't, I mean, I, don't, I mean, I, don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I bag. Every household, every individual, is given five gift bags. You can't give a present unless it's in a gift bag. You know what, Perry, this is a good idea. Yeah. So it's like the five top friends on my space again. You have to pick. No, no, no, no, no, because it, because you don't have to, it's not going to be the same

five bags all the time. It just means that, yeah, you need to see as much as you can present, but if you're getting a present, you must know, oh, this is only one of the five they, they're allowed to give, right? No, no, no, no, no, you can keep giving all the way through the year because you're always getting new new. You're going to be getting back in, aren't you? You're going to be getting gift bags on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not saying we can only give five presents. You that would be that's the sort of idea that Harry would have. Yeah, sure. It sounds like a power idea. It's not the idea he was saying. Are you mad? No, bro. Instead of start the year, you buy. Are you mad? No bro. Instead, start the year you buy your five bottles

of Echo Fools. Yeah. And then, so basically, and then so, I said you're like happy 15th birthday. So if you get really your five bags early doors, which let me tell you, February is a minefield for the Perry family, okay? Like there were so many people in the Parry family

and they all seemed to have their birthdays in February. I also have my birthday in February as well. I mean, you're in your part of the problem. You're an extended member bro. Thank you. So, obviously, did I wear my birthdays by the way? Oh, bro. I cannot believe that this is your thing.

How am I doing that? We're in July now and you're doing the ramp this is your thing. How are you doing, we're in July now and you're doing the ramp up to your birth. Well, it's only just happened, it's close to my birthday. Yeah, but yeah. And also, I mean, with the lockdown, the pandemic didn't really happen this year,

did it, so we're gearing up for a big one next year. By the way, if you had tickets for Clarkies birthday this year, they will be usable at next year's event. It's a done ask for a refund, guys, please will be usable at next year's event. It's a roll over. Don't ask for a refund, guys, please. Please don't ask for a refund. And let's see, and let's see, and let's see, Crocs it. So, so I hang on. Clarke, what birthday is it next year?

Oh, it's 40. It's a load. It's a big issue. It's a load. Now look, look, if my rulebook is stuck around, you wouldn't have celebrated birthday this year anyway. 39, not interested mate. You've got to have 39. Did it hurt mate? Did it hurt mate? You've got to have 39.

I'm with Tom on that I think 39's gone. 39 did make the list mate. Oh my god. Once you get past. You love a birthday. No, he does love a birthday but look, I'm saying I'll give you 36. birthday. I love it. He does love a birthday, but look, I'm saying, I'll give you 36. 36. There's something about 36.

Who wants 36? There's something about 36. 37 gone, 38, not even interested in 39. I was gonna say by the time you get into your 30s, every five years. I like it. I like it, but what, you're not gonna do 64. That's the rule. five years. I like it. I like it. But what, you're not gonna do 64?

That's the rule. You read that you read on. In your early, you're not gonna celebrate the early, the mid and the late. Are you not doing 64 though? As in, for the Beatles, yeah, you've got to do that. The only thing I don't like about that is that, I've got to watch 64 films.

And I can't do that. I'm on borrowed time as it is. I've got you a ticket to a short film festival mate I've got your back bro. I open the gift bag. It's a ticket to a short film festival Said no, whatever Yes, a short film festival no offense carcad Just a little, no offense, Clarky. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You're gonna have to get engaged, you have to have a baby shower, something like this. God be, something's gonna happen. It's gonna be something. A housewarming, just something to get a gift bag my way because I'm out of gift bags. But actually, or do something nice for it, I'm not saying you need motivation to do something

nice for an A, but you know, you do something nice for someone, there's a chance of a gift bag in there, then you get to give your gift bag. You gotta think, oh, Dad's birthday's coming up. I've got to earn a gift bag somehow. Can I ask a question about the gift bag? Is the gift bag mandatory? Or can you occasionally, like say, for example, say for example, I'm giving you the tickets to the short film festival, that's going to fit inside a card, right? We don't need a gift bag for the tickets. No, it's got to be in a gift bag. Everything's gift bag from now on. Yeah, that's the system. Okay, I don't dislike the system. I worry that a popular man like yourself and a man from a large family, five might be two. Five

that's what that's supposed I was talking about when I said this reminds me by the way, this reminds me of when I was pissed at the Sihoh theatre and Megan, Clarke's, Megan showed up with a bunch of her friends and she introduced me as Matthew and the guy who she was with said, oh Matthew and I went, that's my name! And he went, yeah I know, I was saying hello to Matthew. Right, didn't hang around much longer after that. That's a sign it's time to go home. When someone says you're named to you, having just been told you're named and you go, it's my name! Anyway, yes, so Paris, I think five might be two, two smaller number. If it's not in a gift bag, you have to get the monetary value for the object. So if you give me tickets to a short film festival,

yeah, um, which I'm going to next birthday, but which I, I assume you're not going to be celebrating. I feel like this is the new, what new rule now, all presents for tickets to for short film festival. Hang on. My next, my next birthday is the big four hour. Oh, your next birthday is the big one. Sorry, it's on the list. I'm sorry, Pat, I genuinely thought it was 41, but it's jump right over it. I jumped to birthday, no, I'm sorry.

Are you forcing me up to be the oldest member of the gang? I think it's time you stepped up, mate. I like it. I like getting the call. Yeah, so, if you give, if you're out of gift bags but you wanna give me a short film festival ticket, I have to give you the monetary value of it. See what I mean?

So you could say, look. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What? Caseball. You know, like a Casey. A leather football. Oh, football, okay, yeah. Sorry. You've got it. You've got to realise I'm not a big sports fan. Apparently, you're just clucky. You've been kids though, right?

A Casey, I just... Wow. What is a baseball? I know what a football is, but why a why do you have your plastic flyaways in the playground You know one night nine from the shop and Or the beach then you'll have a playground then you'll have a yellow sponge in the playground Then you're awful when it rained. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. He was taking ages Heading the sponge ball in the rain was I tell you what you certainly felt alive

Heading the sponge ball in the rain was, I tell you what, you certainly felt alive, because it was heavy, and then you headed it, and then you got this shower of rain dirt water. Oh, my God. Straight into the eyes and God, I imagine. Yeah, and everything was slowed down, so it did feel like slow motion, it did feel like a film.

Well, like I say, everything slows down when you're younger. That's why a year takes ages. That's why you should have all the birthdays. I'm happy to lose the first four. Right, wow, squab, squab, squab, squab, squab, squab, squ third birthday. You don't get one. Change my friend. We need to change the world. Just because we had things, doesn't mean our kids are going to have things. You're a fucking Tory. Things are going to change. Things have got to change. You are.

I can't believe it. I always, you know, from your Twitter, you seem like a very, you know, right-minded, left-wing person, but it turns out you're actually a right-wing wrong-minded person. He's just a birthday Tory. Or am I trying to save the planet? It's up to you. You know, it depends which way you want to go. Or am I trying to save the planet? It's up to you. It depends which way you want to go.

That's all. If you think rampant commercialism is left wing, then fine. If you think more purchasing more things are necessary things, giving things that don't need to be. Take it to a short film festival. It's not an unnecessary thing. Listen, is it an online ticket? If it's not in physical form, then I'm all up for it.

So if you buy something as an online ticket, you don't have to worry about the gift bag and they don't have to give you the 8 quid for it. That's the other loophole. That's the other loophole. They still have to give you the 8 quid for it. Guys, can I make my announcement now? I've been waiting. I can't believe that we've made tickets

to a couple of festivals. Can I make my announcement even worse? Guys, can I make my announcement now? I've been waiting to make it since we started recording. I'm starting a short film festival. Now tickets are available online. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Oh, I'm saying this.

We live in a society of excess. So we row back on the excess. It makes the moments that you do choose to celebrate even sweeter. OK. This is an interesting sort of philosophical question you've landed on here. Thank you. And I'm, I'm, I'm, you congratulations. Thank you.

I, if you, if you are having a really fan, like, if you, if you know, you're going to have a really fantastic fifth birthday, but you're going to have a really, really bad third and fourth birthdays, bad to the point of non-existence. Whenever, whenever, when all the other kids are celebrating their birthdays, when all the other gift bags are getting handed around. Who are all these other kids celebrating their birthdays? This is a system you're going to employ yourself. It's not going to be a worldwide system. Yeah, that's the whole point. Oh, it has to be multilateral disarmament. It has to be that kind of thing.

Some condoned the road is never the third birthday party. Some condone the road is never the third birthday, and you're like, oh, they're not alike. You're not alike that son. You know, it's not like that. I can't imagine he would have been invited anyway. So what you talk about himself. I've won give back that...

I've got won give back that. I've won, give back that guy. I've got one good bad luck mate. I've got one good bad luck mate. I've got one good bad luck mate. So, okay, so you're saying this is a thing that, you know, in your dictatorship, this goes away, everybody loses this birthday. So, it happens. So, you go, no one celebrates their first and second birthdays. Okay, you get your third, you get your fifth, you get your tenth, you get, you get, you're seventh or something. Don't worry. Like, I, I, I, I take it.

If there's one thing, I think I'm going in this order because I really love. If there's one thing that has slightly swayed me, it is, you've really persuade me, you've lobbied very well for the birthdays between the ages of three and 12. I think this is your compromise. This is your compromise to me saying, I want everything from zero to 30, definitely locked in and ring-fenced. You're saying that? I won't give you that, but what I will give you is, I'll give you three to 12.

There was a clause in the bill Zero to thirty is no longer ring-fenced I'm afraid In fact, we've sold the twelve birth date to the Americans What? Sorry about that. There's got to be an answer got their hands on the twelve birthday So what you're saying you're saying three to twelve not including twelve No, no hang on. I mean look all I'm saying, we don't need to get to the final details of this now. You also said 13 was a birthday, you're gonna celebrate. So why are you saying you get three to 12?

No, I'm saying. They're every fence. I'm saying 13. I think you get three, five and seven. What? Say word. Three, five, seven, 10. And then all of them till 12.

Oh, no, you said. 7, 10. And then all of them till 12. Oh, no, you get 10. Oh. You maybe get 10, 11, 12 and 13, actually. You have a really good four years. I just think it's sad when you don't get your 14. You don't get a ninth birth. Oh no, I didn't have a ninth birth. They said no one ever.

Said everyone under your system. Oh, I'll tell you which birth I loved my I did I did have a night birthdays the sort of things I will be talking about in therapy. I probably didn't have a ninth I can't fucking remember it's it was my ninth birthday remember my tenth ding dong had a Sony Walkman birthday cake. Yeah, bright yellow Who is that? Yellow Sony Walkman fuck knows what I got for my night. Oh, no one remembers their ninth bro. I got a bright yellow Sony Walkman and the cassette of Cliff Richards' Somaholiday, the soundtrack.

What? And I just sped up. Are you sure you're not 41? In fact, you sure you're not 71. LAUGHTER I can tell you for something but I think I'm a bachelor boy and that's the way I'll stay. That's a B-y-y-y-y bachelor boy. Do you remember the weird dancing that he did on bachelor boy?

Yes. You talked about that before. You've at least talked about that with me. I'm obsessed. That's been one of the defining dance moves of my life. You still do it. Well, you still do it. It's up there.

I think the moves, yeah, definitely. Listen to the difference. That's it. That's it. As if you are sort of sorting male in a male room in a very taunty way. He's not quite walking like an Egyptian. No, that's it.

He's almost walking like an Egyptian. He's similar to what an Egyptian. But it's more laissez faire than that. It's less, you know, and it's almost like it's less culturally It's a soft yeah, there's like a gaijwa devive to it It's it's phenomenal. Listen to it if you've not seen it Please check it out. I'm sure it's it must be on YouTube. Am I saying that right? It must be on YouTube He's checking out, I'm sure it's, it must be on YouTube, am I saying that right? It must be on YouTube.

It's probably a bloody TikTok now, right? Cliff, what I tell you, what? If Cliff is listening, I'd love it. If Cliff is listening and he wants to get on TikTok, I think it could reinvigorate his already stellar career. Anyway. That was a really weird thing because halfway through the sentence,

you were like, you didn't want to insult Cliff Richard, you're a hero. So to reinvigorate, he's already stellar career. He's going reinvigorate something if it's already stellar. Ha ha ha. Well, you know, well, I mean, this podcast, something can be vigorous and still enjoy being reinvigorated,

can it? It'll be double vigorous. It will be double vig. Yeah. Double vig on the dime. The double vig, yes, please. So, anyway, all I'm saying is there I was 10 years old, Walkman on, Bachelor Boying around the kitchen. Want a life? I thought the best ever. Was that the best ever birthday cake you had? I had one that was also a moon scape, like with lots of ball bearings, and a spaceship, like landed on the moon.

Oh yeah. Yeah, wow. Wow, we. Mom used to really go for, do you have defining birthday cakes? Yeah, yeahi. Maui used to really go for, do you have defining birthday cakes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was this, now would this have been my tenth, it might have been my tenth birthday.

Oh, Kelsey, please, it's not your ninth. Ah, no, no, I tell you what, it was my ninth. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! But yeah, I had the, I had, it was, the cake was shaped after a pin badge I had of the band in excess. Jesus Christ, that is pure crossbeam. Yeah, pretty cool.

And there's the difference. 10-year-old crossbeam has got an in excess pin badge. Loved it. 10-year-old parries got Somaholiday soundtrack blaring in his ears. We're at two different ends of the playground. Absolutely. I liked a bit of yuppie rock, man. It's my style. It's what I was into. That's fucking cool to be ten and have a pin badge of in excess.

Well, I don't know. Is it? That's kind of you to say so. I'd tell you what, it would be cool if you were died. Yeah, you know what? I think it's the, when you're any age, like between, let's say three and 14. Oh, it's three to 14 now, is it? He's creeping up. I've told you, I've ring fence three to 12 mate.

Don't you try it? I thought you were allowing 14, if it is you're allowing 13 14. Yeah, but only at the expense of losing six. You were going to get rid of the first teenage birthday. What 13? 13's in there. 13's always been in there. It's a national treasure. It's the crown jewels or whatever they call it. It's like Wimbledon, you know. It's like a Casey. Yeah, it's a fucking Casey. It's like Wimbledon, it's the crown jewels, it's locked in, we're not losing that. Beast Guy Beacon, Firk, errrr.

Jog on Murdock, you're not getting anywhere near the thirtieth birthday, baby. Has me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day, me day in her course to freedom at in love for. It's nonstop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history,

a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcast. Hey cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. But when you're when you're all of these ages, these little things, not a little thing, it costs money,

but these things are important to you because they are a way of you becoming you, they're a way of you becoming your personality. So unfortunately, yes, I suppose it is capitalist to go. I wanted things, but I also wanted to become a I was becoming a person I was shaping myself and I think to remove the the the seventh or eighth ninth birthdays when I would have said Hey, can I please have a year in Mix album or whatever it would be you know like This is me. I don't have the money to buy these things myself. This is me Yeah, wait till Christmas be You get you get you rhythm exam at Christmas mate.

Oh, okay. Christmas isn't going anywhere. I'm not fucking modding with that. It's getting rid of Christmas. But Christmas isn't going anywhere. Christmas, Christmas lacks, and I know, I'm sorry, I know you're a December birthday, but Christmas lacks. Tread carefully, my friend.

It lacks you. For you, tread on my dreams. I tread directly onto your birthday. We're not directly. There's nine days apart. But I think it lacks the individual joy that you get from a birthday. You're still getting your rhythmic album.

Yeah, but to define yourself. Yeah. So you meet the cool end of the playground. The cool end of the playground, yeah. What is your mean the cool end of the playground. The cool end of the playground. Yeah, the cool end of the playground. So may you reach for some. I've got the aristocrats. But I've seen done that. I'm so mad. I'm mad. Everybody wants to be a cat. Because a cat's the only cat. No, where is that? I'm back. I'm Bachelor Boy into Thomas I'm Ali now. Can I say though Tom, here's the thing, are you then saying that more people have to get

you Christmas presents? What, well they've got their five bags, they can. Oh, Christmas is an nightmare for five bags. Christmas. Here you come. Oh five bags is having a tough time at Christmas. Paul Gascon's other best friend. Oh five bags. Oh, I bags is having a tough time at Christmas. Paul Gasquins are the best friend. Oh, five bags.

Oh, I swear to God, the absolute three-day benders that him, Danny Baker, and Jimmy Five bags, he's gone. The Echo Falls was really flowing. I can tell you. Chris Evans was shot for a bit. Then he pissed off the host, the breakfast show for a couple of hours. Come back steamed out of his mind.

It was a different time. It was a different time. So, you don't get presents from as many people at Christmas as you do on your birthday. Friends don't give you presents at Christmas time in the same way that they're done. So, so you are, you don't get that, that's shared communal joy of people, you know, of people, of celebrating your friends and your friends celebrating you.

That's what I, you know. You're not, you're not gonna go 20, but you're barely ever, I don't think you're ever gonna go 24 months till you next birthday. It's just all I'm saying is, a more patience, you're going to get your birthday. It's just going to be, it's just going to be a year away. It's okay. It's 14 now. And then big, big fuss for 15.

I don't know. But we had previously discussed, right, previously. That we were going to do. That we were gonna do. Oh, that was fact, yeah. That we're gonna do Christmas every other year. Didn't we discuss that at some point? All right, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no But, but I've read the itching reviews by the way. LAUGHTER It's a matter of having fewer celebrations and set of celebrations you have a better. Yes. It's actually giving joy. In the same way that Tom's like, you know, if you say happy birthday every week, starts to mean nothing.

Okay. Exactly. All right, I'm gonna put you in the mind of a six-year-old, who loves birthdays, right? Okay. Clarke, you're there already, great. I'm gonna split. Six for the sixth of the sixth.

So, so what's happening here is, you're saying to a six-year-old, I know I know your brother had a birthday, had a six birthday, I know your sister had a six- birthday, you're not getting one. I know you've seen the, you live in this world, you've seen the system of people getting a birthday every year, things are changing from now on. What's the age difference here? What's the age difference in these kids? Yeah. I don't know. There's two years between, two years apart, and then four years apart from

the eldest. So this kid was four when he saw his brother have his sixth birthday, or his sister. Yeah. Okay. I don't think it's going to be much of a bother for him. I don't think you've spent time with four-year-olds. They would remember these things. They will remember things like... I'll spend time with four-year-olds, bro. Ah!

Ah! Ah! You don't think I spent time with four-year-olds? Ah, can I just go? If anything, too much time. Can I shock you, bro? I've been one mate. I've been one.

I've been around one. Listen, here's the thing, Perry. I just don't think you can say to people that we're taking away birthdays. I appreciate it. I know what you mean. We're having a big blowout for your 10th. We're having a big blowout for your 10th. It's really exciting, but not when you are seven.

You think I'm gonna skip a birthday for this? I've got a skip two birthdays for that man. Everything up to 18 stays. Has to. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy.

Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Can we get Tom away from the 40 year olds, please? He's lent all their slang terms. I reckon the 19th is the first birthday that you probably start to think are but too cool for that anyway. And it's the first really insignificant one because you're 18 to massive one. You can go and drink, please. When see the year after? 19 very easily go. And from that point on,

19 you've got start. You've got start. Yeah, that's it. 23 and 24. You can start to really dial them down. Because at that point as well, you're like, ah, you know, what about, well let's go to the other side of things now.

We've discussed what we've discussed one to 30 quite a lot and we failed to reach consensus and I don't think we're going to do it today. But let's skip to, I'm going to propose that 70 onwards you get every birthday back again. Wait, I've got a new plan. This is good. Here we go. When you get to 18 and you've got a group of friends, you get together and you can't

have a birthday on the same year. So only one of you celebrates because then right, you know how you have like a glut of birthdays and as a result like you're never like I will all go do a thing because it's like oh well it's we can't do it for everyone's birthday. Yeah. That's really hard. It gets increasingly hard to get all of your mates together. And that's why like a stagdo is such like a great thing because everyone makes time for everyone makes time for that because it's like this isn't going to happen again this year. Do you know what? It's true. When I was inviting people to my 40th, and sorry to any listeners who didn't get the invite, whereas inviting people to my 40th, I made sure I

put 40th on it. I didn't want to, but I made sure I did because it's that thing of people going, well, this is a biggie. This is a significant birthday. We're going to have to show up. You know, if I said, oh, it's my 28th birthday, sure, people believe it, but they wouldn't show up. Yeah. So you've got like your big group of mates, whatever. I, or, you know, a group of three, for example. I think you're almost there, but you're not quite there.

Is this because you don't have to celebrate your 40th this year, then, because I've already had mine. It's because one mate's gonna get their 40th. Yeah, right? Yeah, but then you're like, well, look, you, you, you had the 30th. Well, I tell you what, so, so someone gets the 20th, someone gets 30th, someone gets the 40th. Yeah, I think that, I think that's how many friends are in this group. There's a lot of people not having the big time.

The, we all know, there's, we're trying to make it for, but she doesn't want it. I think I thought you were going to say, when you get to 20 years old, the government sends you a form and says, you have 20 more birthdays now. I thought you were going to say that and I think I actually agree with that. You have 20 more birthdays now. I thought you were gonna say that, and I think I actually agree with that. You have 20 more birthdays. You get zero to 20, you get all of those.

And then, mad, mad that 14 stays, mad, but carry on. We're keeping 14, all right? Just allow this, allow this. Allow it. And then you get 20 birthday. Allow it, bro. You get your 20th birthday, and it's a bit like getting the telegram from the queen.

In fact, let's make it the fucking queen The queen sends you a loyalty card You can you can you get you get it's got 20 little stamps on it. You can frank them every time you have a birthday, but it's 20 That's it. Don't do you do you have to make the call? Then do you have to send the form back? Oh Do you have to send the form back at 20 years old and go there by 20 birthdays? No, no, no, no.

It's like holiday, it's like holiday, Pat. Oh, do you make the call on New Year's Eve? No, no, no, you can make the call. I like making the call, I like making it and doing it all. It's more like that. No, no, no, no, no. I don't, I don't make it. Disciples, I make it, no.

It's great because a certain personality is gonna go, oh, on every birthday between now and Friday, baby, You have to, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don decade. It'll be a great insight into people's personality. Yeah, but an insight into a person's personality when they are 20, I think, you know, like already,

you know, decisions I made in my 20s are currently affecting me today. This podcast, for example. So I, we are three old men who are warning from history. Listen, be careful how big you make your bed when you're 20. If you make it quite a small bed and invite two other people into it, then you're in trouble. You're tucked in a little too tight. You can't hop out.

But, you know, I think it's a good lesson to go like, well, you have to, you have to, there are repercussions to your decisions, you make big decisions. People get married when they're 20. Can I just say by the way? Yeah, but then you're also allowed to get divorced. It's not locked in. Oh, that's why I'm the wrong. No more divorces.

20 birthdays, no more divorces, goodnight. Can I also say by the way, and I don't want to lay with this point, but it will feel fucking mental to someone. If this 20th birthday is the only time you experience the idea of not having a birthday. Whereas if it's been seeded by them not having a 7th birthday, the 19th, by not having a 7th, by missing out on the 6th, we have 14 people's youth. The 14th is gone.

We're giving you 20 days. They're still young. I'm not killing them. They're still fucking young. They're just not having a ninth birthday, the worst of all the birthdays. It's not the worst, mate. Sorry, Crosby,

are you gonna tell us something about Cleo's birthday? Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know what? Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know what, like, I mean, I can tell you now, but it's a little after the fact, we got balloons for her

birthday, got some lovely helium balloons, which we ordered. And when they arrived, the little thing they were attached to wasn't quite heavy enough. So my mother-in-law got one of the little toys, sorry one of the little toys that my niece plays with and tired that to the balloons to sort of weigh it down and we brought it home and it absolutely scares the shit out of Cleo. It makes a go absolutely berserk. But I'm going to show you what it is. It's this. Oh, it's like a troll hippo hamster. It's like a troll hamster. It's a hamster with trolls hair.

And yeah, so when she sees this, she loses her god damn mind. So it's like a little purple, yeah, purple hamster with blue hair. And it's got a little smiley face, but for some reason that scares her scares her and I was gonna ask was there a thing when you were a kid that Was like not a scary thing that you just scared the shit out of you But um obviously we you've answered that question. Yeah, it's old. Yeah Well Happy birthday, listen to us in CLE, dear, what a treat that was. Oh speaking of a treat, we've had an email as well. Beautiful. To our PappiesFlatShareItGM.com.

Get in touch, guys, please do get in touch. This is from David via PappiesFlatShare at gmail.com. He says, dear Pappies, a minor point of order. In house meeting, brackets Pastor Iveeta Baby, series 10, episode 28, you mentioned that the Judderman advertised Smurnoff Ice. Now, I think this was me who made this mistake. He says the Judderman was actually from the advert for the Schnaps based drink nets, also a very early example of Julian Barrett's work. And then he goes on to give us what I'm gonna say, too much information.

I remember this, because about 20 years ago, I won a Metz branded bottle opener key ring in a pub quiz in the Plymouth pub, the Penny Come Quick. Lovely name for a pub. It remains my key ring to this day. The pub quiz was usually based on postal trivia. Since it was next to the giant Royal Mail Data Entry Centre, the MDEC, which almost all plim of students worked at.

Anyway, cheers everyone by, Dave. Lovely. You know when you were saying get in touch. Hello. So I know I really like that because you know when you start having, you know when you ask somebody if they're all right and they tell you, for realsies, I feel like that's what we've got today. He's like, I'll get in touch and then he just started chatting away.

He had loads of info to give us, you know, not all of it necessarily, you know, not some of it not even tangential to what we were talking about, but you know what, there's not a bit of that that I didn't enjoy Dave. Thank you. I would like to know more actually Dave So get in touch again. Please do great stuff if anybody's got any more information about the penny come quick or the Mdc Please do get in touch. No more information about Mets though. That's that's closed now. We're off. Hopefully that is closed We're all full of Mets Mule was another one. Do you remember Mule? He really was, yes.

Yeah. Loved Mule. Today's episode was produced by... Oh, sorry. Oh, well. LAUGHTER Sorry, I read David's message and I thought, you know what? I'm going to be a bit more like David. No, no, no. I'm going to start talking.

But no, no, no, no. Carry you up. You are 100% right. Absolutely right. Let's play. That's the end. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham. Corsham. Shee.

Shee. Shee is everyone. Bye. Could you see they had it in Corsham? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Captain Copper Barons. That's what apparently gave it its distinctive taste. Okay, no messing about. We, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We haven't got a lot of time for this. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Sorry, there's another trumpeter still in here. No, no, no, two of them now. Can you get no? You have to go back at

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, get back at the the invoices at reception. Please we haven't got time for this today Someone pay the trumpeters close the door. Oh god, the the trombonist is in here. Can we get the trombonist out please? No, god, what is that a Bessoon I'm not good with instruments get no, no, no a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- Close the door please. Okay, someone invoiced the band. We've got no time for this. Let's get on with today's patron neighborhood watch roll call Oh Get that bass guitarist out of here. We haven't got time for any slap bass get no no no sorry Okay, I'm pleased I cannot stress enough your invoice is out reception. Okay, let's crack on with today's Patreon, neighborhood watch, roll call! He's...

He's... He's... He's... He's... He's... He's... Let is. He is. Let me tell you now. He is. He is.

He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee An absolute fucker What? Woah

It's Tom Drucker Oh Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee Shh. Hee hee hee hee hee. Going to visit his mother because he can afford to, it's O'Eane Brother Fertile! Hee hee hee hee. Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here!

Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here get out of here get out of here get out of here He is my favorite He's my favorite man. It's Mark Nicholson. He's my favorite man. It's Kyle Duncan. He's my favorite man. It's Justin Davies. He's... Heeeeeease BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, please unplug that keyboard! Get out of here! A voice! He is in reception!

He is just not gonna leave me alone! It's Peter Avinstone! Who she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she likes to eat Spanish eggs. That's right. Weverse Hey It's Claudia Devos That concludes this week's neighborhood Patreon Watch. We're all cold, get the musicians back in here! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Houses! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes.

Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to add in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th. you