Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Once, Twice, Three Times Jason Statham) S9E35

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. They're following Statham to Santander and trying to get rid of unwanted DVDsPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live 3rd February - https://dice.fm/event/k8vao-pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-podcast-3rd-feb-moth-club-london-ticketsProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at in that book. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Greetings, listen, dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew. That was very quick. It was for us agreeing to do the intro, to you actually starting the intro, was seamless. It was seamless, absolutely seamless. Here we go.

Welcome to another episode. Forchkin Favours the Bold. Forchkin Favours the Speedy in your case. Yeah, it was good. Welcome to another episode of Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. Yes, so this is literally a house meeting because this was recorded in Ben's house. Hello. Yes, if you're ever in Sidnam, don't be a stranger. Pop in and say, come on in. Come on in. I'll put the kettle on. And last. Finally, he's agreed to put it.

Takes my last idea. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've put the kettle on. How great. I've literally the worst house. We've been if we're out. now I just have to put the kettle on. I love the kettle on. For you, listener, dear. Well, it's a house meeting. Please enjoy. If you enjoy it a lot, recommend it to your friends. Believe it or review on iTunes. Go on the Patreon and chuck us some wedge.

But most of all, relax. Go is beyond it. Most of all, guys, for fuck's sake. Be honest. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. For once in your miserable lives. It's not hard. It's not hard to be honest, most of all guys, for fuck's sake. Be honest, for fuck's sake. For fuck's sake, for once in your miserable life. It's not hard, it's not hard to be honest.

Just be, king honest, for once in your life and enjoy the episode. I've had a thought, I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to?

Has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Has meeting. I have got to get a new passport photo.

Yes. Here's an idea. Right. You shop around because obviously it's such a bummer living with your passport photo, isn't it? Yeah. Do you think anyone, in this day of like touching up and photos and kind of like, you know?

Sure, I'm glad you clarified that. Yeah, yeah. In the day of like touching up photos and all and like the kind of like, you know. Sure, I'm glad you clarified that. Yeah, yeah. In the day of like touching up photos and all the quest for perfection, is there something in like, getting someone who's slightly better looking at you? Yeah. But looks a bit like you to be a passport photo.

I think that I would say it's a lovely idea. It's about a few. Who would play me in the movie? Kind of my life. Yeah. They get to be my passport photo. However, there's one small problem with that, Harry, is that the passport photo is supposed to identify you

so you can travel abroad. But if it's like, say it's like Statham. I know you're gonna say Statham. Have you seen Jason Statham? By the way, I want to story him in the flesh. Really? I saw him and Kelly Brooke getting on a train and where? To picture the paint the picture. Hate the picture. Okay, so I was I was at university but I was working my summer job. I was working for Santander. So you're right in the glory days of Statham and Brooke. Oh yeah. I mean it was

Halcyon days. Oh my god. I move over Posh and Bex. Your time was over. Absolutely. Right. They were, they were an it's couple. The it couple. They were the it couple. So good looking on, you know, on both counts. Blinded. Statham looks like he's been chiseled out of marble. on both counts. Blindness. Statham looks like he's been chiseled out of marble. You know, Ken Brook, just, you know, one of the great beauties that Kent's ever produced. And you know, Statham and I, like, people who,

wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Just guys who like do that receiving hair like well. Like, it's the way Statham looks. You kind of go, you know what? You know what, you're at, you're at one there. You're absolutely right. There is something actually. There's a few of us. The action hero, the way Statham looks, you kind of go, you know what? You know what? You're absolutely right. There is something actually. There are a few of us.

The action hero, the bald action hero, and Stanley Tucci. You know, the other side, that's... Well, this is what you've got to decide, but I think you're more action hero than you are, Tucci. That's the nice thing you've ever said about me. You're very welcome. But was it Bruce Willis?

Who's saying? That's the nicest thing you ever said about me. You're very welcome. But was it Bruce Willis embracing his boldness that paved the way for the ball to be. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because up until that point then, was it like if you were an action star, you started to receive it's like, good job. Yeah. Or, you were aop, didn't you? Did they have a toop?

Well, it's did. Bruce, when his war a toop, I know when he just finally decided actually forget this, I'm going bald, I'm going to be bald. I know that. And then suddenly people were like, well, actually, here I am, I'm in diesel. I'm bald as well, they step forwards. Here I am, I'm Jason Statham, he steps forward. Here I am, I'm Tom Perry.

Here he is, he's Tom Perry. Chisel down a marble. You look so old, forwards. I mean, Chisel down a marble went into the shape of a fat man. Absolutely, yeah, marble comes in many forms. He's got that hard fat. The marble universe, me, Statham Willis.

LAUGHTER So a lot of marble. So there you go, anyway. So there you go. So you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you you go, anyway. So there you go. So you, you suck. I suck. I suck. I suck.

I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck.

I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. to say, I think in many ways I see you too as the Jason Statham and Kelly Brook of podcasts.

Is that what you always hang around us? Yeah, absolutely. I'm basking your glory, guys. So I'm basking it. So I was, I was, I was getting, so you were stalking Statham and Brooks. I wish I was, I wish I was, I wish I'd followed them and I know that's bad to say, but I wish I'd seen where they were going because I was getting off the train. What a day that would have been.

Heading to Santander. I would, you know, you were heading to the bank. The bank, where I was working. Sorry, I was working for the bank. I thought you were off on holiday. No, no, no, no, no. Again, I wish. So many ways this story could be better.

It's about this day. So did it realize we'd come to such a person a day? Yeah, this is a real sliding doors moment for you. Peace for me is very much my sliding doors moment. If only I had followed Kelly Brook and Jason Statham all the way to Spain. To Barcelona. But anyway, so I didn't.

But I saw that I clocked him first. Did you lock eyes? Didn't lock eyes. But they were in a rush. They were getting on a train I was getting off and I wished I thought I'll go over and get their autographs. It was a different time where celebrities of that stature would be hopping the train. Oh yeah. You know? There weren't being mobbed or anything. No. And he's gone about that day. Here's the other thing as well, and it was pre-camera phones as well. So wait, so it wasn't like

Pre-James Cameron Shorts in Ega lot of hair a lot of hair Cameron a beard and hair Cameron a beard and hair. Yeah Rona Cameron first woman to win the peri a we could go on we but But so I'm a Macintosh in his heyday the West End was full of his musicals. Lay Miss Arabler. To name but one. Lay Miss Arabler of course to name this term. No, I'm going to go for a third time and just like saying it, Lay Miss Arab. It was the Cameron era.

It really was the Cameron era. But pre Cameron phone. Yes. Cameron, the best friend from Ferris Puella. Oh my goodness. Who's in succession? So I... He's very good in succession.

I like that guy, I say. I like that actor. Very, very well done. Right, carry on. He's got my favourite lion in Ferris Bueller, which is, you know, when Ferris calls up saying his sick. Yeah. Oh no, he gets Cameron to call up.

As his dad, yeah. And he's like, oh, it's, you know. Oh no, it doesn't matter. You can watch the film yourself. Anyway, he's calling up to say that the girlfriend's dad is dead. Is that right? The girlfriend's grand as dead. Oh.

And Cameron's doing an impression. It doesn't matter anyway. But he says, excuse my French, but you are an asshole. It doesn't matter anyway, but he says, excuse my French, but you're an asshole. Anyway, that's my favourite line of the film. I feel my don't know as well as I thought it is. So, so picture the scene. So picture the scene.

Pre-camera phones. Pre-camera phones. Not being mobbed. Not being mobbed at all. I think... I've got much in luggage. Why would they have luggage? We're not going to go all the way. I've got a rainbow. I've got much in luggage. Why would I have luggage? We're not going to haul this.

I'm going to have to have a rainbow. I got caught with the whole stuff. I thought they were going to haul this. Think of it as Abby National, which it probably was at the time. Maybe it wasn't Abby National, but it was certainly, you know, it was. I'd be clancing. It was pretty Abby Clancing.

That's quite a serious condition. So I thought I'll go over and get an autograph, but all I had was a copy of FHM. No, it was 2000. I had my copy of High Street Hunters, which I bring with me everywhere. But no, I had a copy of Chester the Derberville's. I thought, I thought, let's leave it. That's not gonna go down. That's not gonna fly with Statham and the Brook. It's not. Also, you approached them, who dressed first?

Dressed them together? I'd say, excuse me, can I get your autographs? Can I get you guys, I'm big fans of both of you. Nice. I think you're brilliant. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what, I would have been lockstark, I think, would have been locked.

I loved, loved lockstark. Yes. Loved you on the big breakfast, because you've got to say something legit, Evan, you can't eat it. You can't eat it. And I think you're, I think you're, I think you're both amazing.

What a couple. Can I come with you on a holiday? Can I come with you to Santander? Can I ask you what you think about the pastoral novels of Tomasati? Because I've got this coffee of desu the Derbville's, which I know will increase in value. If you sign them.

You sign them. Speaking of which. Oh yeah. How's the, you know, Morrissey, right? Oh yes, I know. I heard of him. Yeah, old Morrissey, yeah. Old Morrissey.

Yeah, the race is grand heard of him. Old Morrissey, yeah. Old Morris thing. Yeah, the race is granddad of pop. He's not as a, he's not aged well. I think Bruce Willis is, I think physically, I've got no problem with the way he looks. It's the inside of the brain. Oh me, that's the worry. But he is currently on his current tour.

Yes. Which, I'm afraid to say say I probably will go and see. Have you got tickets? He's touring the States at the moment. He's not announced British dates. But you've seen him live a couple of times, haven't you? I've seen him a few times, yeah. Yeah, Charlie's a big fan.

I'm also a big fan. But he is currently selling signed LPs of other people's records. Yes, signed by him. Yeah. So, $300 will get you a Iggy Pop's Last For Life signed by Morrissey. Where do you stand? Okay. Well, I've gone.

I wouldn't want anything signed by it. Fair enough. Fair enough. I think it's a stroke of genius. See, here's the thing, it's very moracy. Yes, I think it's... I actually think... Say what you like about moracy.

Say what you like about moracy, but he takes being moracy to the next level. Yes. There's no one more moracy than moracy. Like, would I buy a copy of, I don't know, Babe on DVD? Signed by... Statham. Yes.

What would be... Yes, I like both of those things. Yeah, what would be your top end for buying Babe on DVD signed by Statham? I reckon I'd go as far as all the way up to probably 35 quid. So $300 is probably about 200 quid, is that right? I'd say so, yeah. About 200 pounds. Yeah, and that's for like, that's for an LP like David Bowie. Yeah, I think it's classic LPs,

certainly LPs that have inspired Morrissey. What would you sign and sell? What could we sign and sell? Other people's podcasts? Yeah, it's hot. It's hot. An image of the guys from my dad right up or no, signed by us.

And we put that out as a Christmas card for people. Well, they've written a book. Yeah, we sign their books. Yeah. I think that's all right. We should contact them to tell them we're doing it. I can't imagine they'd enjoy that. We'd have to buy their book first, so they'd enjoy that.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind if we have got it itself, but if someone was buying something of ours to then sell on. We probably won't do this for a profit, right? I mean, I can't imagine anyone's going to want to pay over the odds. No, you have to do it for a profit, right? I mean, I can't imagine anybody's gonna want to pay over the odds. No, you have to do it for a profit. Otherwise, what's the point? That's what Boris is doing. He's selling, you know, those albums on their own, they're worth $50 or $60.

How much should we reckon the book would cost? Let's say it costs about £10. So it costs £10, right? Sure. Do you reckon we could. So it costs 10 quid. Sure. Do you reckon we could sell it for 400 quid? Yeah. Once we've signed it. Once we've signed it.

Of course. Because think about it, just there's just one morocie, there's three of us. Okay. That's good. That's a good markup. So if he's a markup of a $150 or $250 for his signature, we could whack on it. We can easily whack on 400 quid.

I mean, I like, I think, I like the audacity of what Morris is doing there. I'm not sure we quite have the client. I'm gonna level with you. I know. I know. I think if we sign a book that's worth 10 quid, we're gonna sell it for 8 quid.

People are be like, you've scribbled in this book. Yeah. You've ruined the front you've scribbled in this book. Yeah. So you've ruined the front page of a otherwise perfectly good book. Yeah, I think that's kind of the response we're gonna get. My friend got his mint condition Darth Vader still in its packet action figure signed by Dave Prouse. He should have got Darth Vader signed it.

Well, here's the thing, he should have done. But Dave Prouse does think should have got Darth Vader designed it. Well, here's the thing, he should have done, but Dave Prouse does think he's Darth Vader. He does, like, on his publicity, he's got a picture of him as Darth Vader and a picture of him as the green cross-code man and a picture of himself, just himself. Just in case you can't tell. Of course, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just the evolution of, of, of, of, of, and how's that, is that rocketed in price, the Darth Vader model? No, no, no, it, just the evolution of of so proud and as that as that rocketed in price the Darth Vader model. No, no, no, it completely devalued them.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The thing I'm I've got to get rid of my DVDs. Oh, yeah. I'm about to move hangs. Yes. So I like I'd be up for like signing them and vlogging them being like, these are the DVDs. These are the DVDs that have shaped me. You know, that's a great idea. These are the DVDs. These are the DVDs that have shaped me. You know? That's a great idea. Do you have an eBay page?

No, I could set it up. Could not. Set yourself up an eBay page and we'll, when you eventually do that, give the link to it. Yeah. And people can have a look browsed with your DVDs. Here's Young Guns 2. Here's Young Guns 2 and will you do dedications? Of course.

So, if somebody contacts you and says, could you sign it as Jason do dedications? Of course. So so many contacts here and says, could you sign it as Jason Statham? Of course I would. He's my copy of Lockstock signed as if I'm Jason Statham. I don't know if I'm a legally signature. No, you can't do that. You can't do that. You've got it.

Okay, what about this? Enjoy the film. Don't you think, and then I'll do Jason Statham signature. Looks a bit like me, Tom Perry Signature, then you get two for the price of one, but like legally I'm covered. Yeah, that's fair enough. And also, listen to the deer.

Anyone who wants to, I think if anyone fancies it, then get in touch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. At Pappy's tweet on the Twitter, oh, I've got the email. It's at Pappy'sFlatshare at gmail.com. OK. If you email us, Pappy'sFlatshare at gmail.com,

then Tom can tell you if you... Firstly, request the DVD and the signature you'd like on there. OK. And Tom will tell you if he's got it. What would be your hardest to sell? What's going to be the hardest DVD for you to let go of? Oh, DVDs to let go of is very interesting, because like obviously there's a lot of shit in there.

And then it's kind of like the ones that you kind of have an emotional connection to. Like from an object's point of view, like, like for example, I've just put, you know, like you really get to that stage where I've got a hold of my jeans. Oh yes, I would wonder why you say, for example, you lift up the cushion, you spread your legs, and you stuck up your finger in your jeans. And you're like, you know, like, you go, as an object, I get quite emotionally attached to things.

To jeans, yeah. Well, you know, like, you'd feel like, ah, when the, when the, when the tear opens up and you're like, oh, oh boy. Oh, I can see your old boy there. Can I get old boy on DVD as well? Signed by Gloria Hannifert. We've been a lot through you and I, old boy. You're holding a DVD, old boy. But like, you feel like the jeans, you feel like, oh no.

It's kind of like the end of my some men. You kind of think, oh, I've gotta take you out of my head. I'm gonna take you out back and put you down. And you think, oh, we've had probably 20, 2016 to 2019. I was gonna say, I thought it was like 26 years, we're second, probably 2016 to now, you kinda go, we've got three years, you're on. That's a good stint, maybe.

I don't think jeans last me longer than a year. Do you buy quality? Yeah, I've bought Levi's last feed times a ball. Oh, the jeans are available. Yes, I don't buy quality, and they last about a year. Yeah, that's it. The, anyway, I'd probably go back and say, so yeah, that's how I feel like that way, T-shirt.

House moves are always hard. I'm like, you've got to get rid of that. You've got to get rid of that. And it's like, what you have are objects that you quite, you know, you have like an emotional connection to CDs. You keep your CDs? Well, I got married in June and used them as place names. That's right.

You do. To get rid of them in a creative way. I've still got a lot of cases. So I've got CD cases now, no CDs in them. But DVDs, I've got with DVDs in. What I'm thinking of doing basically, to cut it all out, I'm just always sure, is to get my camera and photograph

the objects that I have an emotional attachment to, and then get rid of them. And then I'll have like a nice photograph of them to remove them. I feel like I might be going mad. Yeah, I mean. It's like old T-shirts and stuff like that. I go on to to keep anymore.

How often would you go through your photographs of your DVDs? I can't. Okay. So what are you doing in there? I'm just looking at a copy of Rush Hour 2 on my camera phone. What's that? I mean, this is a high concept business strategy,

but would this Nadia's buy signed photos of my old DVD collection. So I will photo Grace point I will photograph my Grace point plant DVD. Oh that's a good and and sign it for you. Now here's the question. Do I do I photograph the DVD signed or do I sign the photo? I mean like a I tell you no question. Do you know what a double signature? No I tell you exactly what you do. Crossbeast fixed it. I fix this, mate.

That is everyone. You. Here we go. It's been taken care of. You photograph the DVD, then you sign the photographs. You make multiple copies. Because say, for example, if we get three miles in, ask of a gross point blank.

Exactly. You can't be first come first served. Because farm it, hang. You can farm it out. You can farm it out. Exactly. Here's a big, gross point blank for me, very much of VHS.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Certain films I think are like, I had to get rid of my VHS collection. And you bought it again. Yeah. Because the thing I didn't, oh, here's a question, have you kept any of your VHSs? Because I've still got a few. I the thing I didn't have you, oh, here's a question

Have you kept any of your VHSs? Yes. I've got a few. I've got about five or six that I can't get rid of. I've got about 47 47 VHSs. Yeah, in my parents. Eight. Eight. Eight. Your mom and dad's. I think. I love Absolutely full of VHSs. Oh my god. Oh, you're right. He's done it again forever. How's B.T. B.T. I live in a house made of iron sheets. How's B.T. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes.

Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to act in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theatersstop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th. I, yeah, I've got all my Jackie Chan VHSs. Because here's the thing you can't see,

you can't forget those on DVD some of them. I could you? Probably. And I do the right thing by them and get rid of those, right? Yeah. I've still got a parking meter in my dad's garage. I'll give it off to Karen's office, 15 quid. That's the best, the best kind of teenage bedroom adornment you can hope for. Absolutely. Yeah, no, I don't think you can, like, because this is it. I mean, I don't even watch my DVD.

I got rid of a load of DVDs recently. I sent them to the British Art Foundation. How much did you get for them? Which gave them away. Can I get some money back from the whole foundation? I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I can get a bit of profit back from the whole foundation. I'd like if I dated it, so you know. But I remember that time when Clark,

he was moving out of his flat and he sat there with his phone and the little QR scanner. Like, scanners. You were there for ages, scanning, piling stuff into boxes, getting it being picked up. And it was, what did you make? Forty quid in total?

No, no, I got no 22. LAUGHTER Oh, no, a dream to 40 quid. What have made 40 quid had I not assigned them all? LAUGHTER So, how many, like, how much do you decide them across the disc with the compass? So how much did you... No, I think I'm a couple hundred quid. Oh yeah, I threw away a lot of money there.

The British and Australian people are screaming in. Yeah, there those bloody bastards. I don't think they like it when they get all those, dude. Did you go with an askur? They don't. Did you ask him, or did you just duck and run? British Heart Foundation, I actually did quite a cheeky thing in that I went around the shop.

Did you say you gave them these Chester draws? You don't say that. You're them these chested draws? Oh, we'll take the chested draws. I went around the shop and I tried to get rid of a load of books and DVDs and they were basically like, well we'll take them but don't ever do this to us again. Don't bring them around again. So what I did there was I got rid of some furniture and had the guys who come around to pick it up from the house, come around. You've paid them in DVDs. And I basically said, oh, by the way, I've got loads of bags of DVDs as well

and just chucked them in the back of the van and off they went. So yeah. I got in the skip, aren't they? I'm probably going in the skip, yeah. But here's the thing, like, I've got... I'd like to turn them into artwork or some shit. There's gotta be something to be done there. They are artwork. They're DVDs, they're films.

They're films that we can't, like, when I'm now very restricted by what I'd like to watch, because I don't own it. Like, if I lived alone, this is the kind of thing I do. If I lived alone, like, I would take all my doors and I'd like glue the DVDs, the discs onto the doors. So like each door is like covered in my DVDs and like use them as like a piece of like,

I look there's all the films that I love. So it was sort of, for example. It would sort of look like a kind of, like a sort of Kentish town bar. Yes, exactly. Would you also sort of like, if I was like, would you like stick a binoes to the wall and stuff? Like, you know, like, you're the gist, didn't it?

Yeah. But like, because I don't live alone and I can't live that kind of lifestyle, then I'm like, Oh, here's an idea what you could do with the boxes. It's do like an advent calendar, big DVD advent calendar. That's not a bad idea. You watch a different DVD every night. And so you put them in 24, you know, like,

do you watch 24 on? You've got a DVD of 24 on that. You've got a DVD of 24 on that. You've got to watch 24 on that. So you take out the slits, say, yeah, I just put it numbers or old Christmas cards if you want a doubly recycling. Yes.

And then you glue them all together. Yeah. And then your partner has to watch the film that's on that day Yeah, but it's great for me. It's not good for them So you were 24 films in the run up to Christmas. Yeah, none of them Christmas films of course that Well, you can finish with the muppets Christmas Carol as a little treat. It's the 23rd of December. We're watching lethal weapon It's Christmas Carol, it's a little treat. It's the 23rd of December, we're watching lethal weapon two. LAUGHTER Would you randomly do it? Or would you work out an order?

Would you sort of plan it? Oh, I have an ifsit. It's a lot of work to work out the order, but maybe. Maybe you could try and get the more Christmasy films towards the end of the month. You could try. You could. Don't know how you'd do it, mate.

You could try. It's an okay idea. Thanks, mate. I'll tell you that. You know what? I'm afraid after agreeing with Perry. It's not, you know, it's not. Come on up. We've just come from sticking DVDs to a door. It's got to be better than that. No, that was even a good idea. You never think, yeah, and you haven't fixed the the problem of getting rid of your DVDs. What you're saying is, you should watch your DVDs on one day of every month. You're giving the book away.

That's what I should have done. You're giving away. Are you doing it to the person you live with? I'd said to T.H. Top. So you're sending me 24 of your old films for me to watch through the month of December. My busiest month. You're right doing a lot of social. I can't come out tonight. I've me to watch through the month of December. My busiest month. You're right, doing a lot of social work.

I can't come out tonight. I've got to watch Clark. He's old copy of Napoleon Dynamite. LAUGHTER You're welcome. LAUGHTER So, is this like sort of like the Britannia music club then? Yes.

Every Christmas you send 24 DVDs to a different unwitting friend of yours, soon to be enemy. I mean, if the listener deers email in with their addresses and say, this is our address, I subscribe, then I would happily just post every list that we'll get a random DVD signed by us. PapisflatShare at gmail.com. That's right to do it. We'll sign all my DVDs and we'll stick them in the post. And you won't know which one you'll be getting

and then you'll just get a DVD and you'll be like, oh look, there's some good ones in there as well. Like odd ones, like you know, like the whole series of ripping yarns. Oh, that's great. That's one that I really don't want to get rid of. It's like you've got to, you know, something you've got to get rid of. It's like, there's a good stuff in there. That's not going anywhere.

I'm honing onto that one. That's not going anywhere, it's exactly the price. That's what HMV said. That's not going anywhere. Do you remember we went into HMV to buy the DVD? Yes. Different time. Different time. Why now I'm winning went into her rexon HIV and

complaining that it wasn't on display. Really? Yeah. Oh, she said my grandson has a DVD out and I can't find it. It's quite sweet, isn't it? Very sweet, yeah. Yeah. Why was it not to... I mean, it's never happened to Bruce Willis or Jason Statham, I can play that much. I bet you it has. Well, Statham's Nanz got in and said where's transport or two. Absolutely. LAUGHTER They've gone right there.

He's got a fucking cardboard cutter of the boy. Do you think every kind of film star, their first film, they've had that. They've come to the shops and bought it themselves? I mean, surely the first one where their names above the film, well, like, you know, yeah, not, you know, like Clooney was in the tack of the killer tomatoes or shit like, tomatoes. What you think you would? Do you say tomatoes?

Do it, look, let's call them. But, you know, like, he are, like Clooney won't have Bought Attack of the Kilotomato's on DVD. On VHS. Seriously tough, but he will have got ER. Do you know what I mean? Or Er. It would have been VHS there, wouldn't it? Yeah.

He would have gone, you say Er. I'd just say Er. Er. Er. Er. Er. So he would have gone to Tower Records in Los Angeles. Picture the scene.

And said, yes, it's me. Clunes. Maybe that's what Statham and Brooke were doing the day you saw them. Statham was off to buy the VHS edition of Lockstock and Two Smoking Barrels. And what, because Kelly Brooks could have packed her cards.

She's been in some movies, I don't know. Oh, yeah, remember that. Yeah. It's a poker chips. Had she been around Pack of Cards. She's been in some movies. Oh my god. I remember that. Yeah. It's a poker chips. Had she been around, didn't that? Maybe she hadn't been in any films. In fact, I'm hard pressed to remember what films she was in.

Statham and Brooke, if you're listening, Statham or Brooke, sadly, no longer. They're not together anymore, no. And it's a real shame. But life gets in the way. It does, doesn't it? What do you think was the problem there with Seth and Bride?

Why was there both burning bright? I think that's it, is it? It isn't me. They just got to the point where they're like, we can't even enjoy a train journey together anymore without some little weirdo looking at us. So someone coming up and whacking me on the back of the bonds with the Merrickaster Bridge, yeah.

Because, you know, they were both burning bright. We're not talking, it's not Star is born, you know. Statham's not taking himself off to the Gary. They're ascendancy. They're both in ascendancy. Spoiler alert. Oh yes, of course. There's a garage in the Star is born. So, yeah, they're both on the up. The ascendancy was kind of happening at the same speed. And I've been there to the issue there. They're like, you know, when are they spending, when they're getting time for themselves?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's kind of the way. I think if one of them had been less successful, maybe they'd still be together. Well, I'd say one of them is less successful now. Maybe there's a chance. Interesting. After three, also the one that you think is less successful now.

One, two, three, stay. Clarke. Oh, shit. Sorry, I got, I didn't realize that was the game. Sorry, I less than four now. One, two, three, class. Oh shit. Sorry, I got it didn't rise up with the game. Sorry, I'm sorry, I... Yeah, I... Yeah, I mean, surely they can rekindle it. Couldn't they? For the good of the podcast.

For the good of the podcast. Come on, let's see. Listen, if they're listening. Guys, if we send you a DVD signed, will you get back together? LAUGHTER I can't imagine the answer will be yes. If we said you a DVD signed, will you get back together? I can't imagine the answer will be yes. I hope it is. You never know. What do you think it would take? I'm trying to think of the most romantic DVD in my collection

that would make a difference, make them pine for, you know. I've got a copy of Brief Encounter on DVD. Do you want to lend it to me, and then I'll not return it, and then it will become part of my collection. Sounds great. Then I'll post it to Statham and hope that it rekindles his flame for Kelly Brook. Is this a flying that we're going to pursue?

Yeah, I think it is. So I can't drop it around tomorrow. OK. But I will. I'll lend you my copy of Brief Encounter. It'll be in a bag with 200 other league games. He should've done it. He's done it for me.

It's in there somewhere. So the crossbeat trick. And it's inside a board. It's inside a side board, yeah. I reckon that's what I think. I reckon that we've got what it takes. So if you went back to that day, all those years ago, no. Statham and Brooker there.

Brook's going with Statham to buy his first copy of Lockstock. Right? It's very sweet scene. In my memory, it's funny when the way that memory does this. I've just realised something that when I... It was at that moment. It was my mum and dad. I was getting on the train with them to go on holiday to Santa and Dad.

No, I've just realised that the whole way when I'm repicturing this scene, she's wearing that purple dress. Do you remember the famous purple dress? She wore that was, you know, she can't have been wearing that. There's no way she was wearing that. My waterloo station. Not at. It would have been, it would have been Charing Cross Station at,

let's face it, probably eight in the morning. And let's hang on to bed. They were coming back. I've just had another memory. There we go. I've just had another memory. This is unbelievable. We've regressed you back to that day.

Victoria station. It was Victoria station. No, different time. Mike, Mike, Mike, my girl. A new memory. Yeah, a new memory. My girlfriend at the time. He said, two memories.

I said two memories. My girlfriend at the time. This has been 1998. Great time to be alive. Great time to be alive. Oh yeah. We were. We were doing summer jobs to save up to go on

on our holiday round at the States. You were ill-fated holiday round the States. You were ill-fated holiday round the States. I was ill-fated holiday round the States. Have you ever seen Wolf Creek? You know what happened? But it was the motion. You were in Australia, it's that. Of course, the whole flight.

It was just taking black pages. So Wolf Creek was all equal. So I... Victoria Station, 98. Victoria Station, 98. The 98. The 98 of Shed Seventh in the Air. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks.

I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks.

I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. I was called Cricks. Louise Weiner. She wasn't called Louise Weiner, but front-names only.

Oh, do you mean Louise Weiner? Yes. From Sleeper. No, I can't. Love Sleeper. What a band. What a great band. Now, she gets home from work and she says, I saw a woman at the train station today

in just her underwear. Oh, well. Just bra and pants having her photograph taken. at the train station today in just her underwear. Oh, wow. Just bra and pants having a photograph taken. And, uh, it's strange. The next day in the paper, Kelly Brooke, she teen Kelly Brooke doing like an old teamer or like a bravissimo photo shoot.

Like promotional photoshoot that they put in the London life. Is that why you started going out? You've both seen Kelly Brook in train station. We met in a support group. Have you seen Kelly Brook in a train station? Have you seen Kelly Brook in a train station? Do you want to go on holiday with me? Would you like to be?

You put that advert in a paper. Yeah. And she responded. I put that in the back of the enemy, the back of the enemy. And they paid the straight man in here, the band, they've never looked back. Yeah, what a strange thing for two people to have seen Kelly Brook in the train station and have fallen so deeply in love. And then now, of course, we've got our separate ways. She has a family. I have a family. I wish we were lucky.

Now of course we've got our separate ways. She has a family, I have a family, I wish we were a lot of luck. I hopefully stay some and Brooke have the same side. That's a side DVD. Hopefully stay some and Brooke have that same emotional connection to each other. I reckon we're apart now. It happens. It happens. Life moves on.

We're not the same people we were in the late 90s. I mean there are states. Unfortunately, I am. Yeah, he's still loves Napoleon Dynamite. Ah, cool. We all just stay in the truck in a train station. On our way to something else. Guys, this has been another episode of Jason Statham.

Sorry, I'm at the Jason Station. I'm going to be up for a much funnier. Should I give up? I should have. Just keep Jason Statham. Even if I do. And that's our theme tune. I'm so glad you joined in, Mumy.

I really thought I was... I really thought I was a lot to get to that solo. You can't leave you hanging if you try and do a del parody about Jason Statham. It wouldn't be fair. Thanks, mate. I didn't know what song we were going for, and I was just helpless. Jason Statham! Lenny Cromboll! Thanks, Barkey. Sorry, mate. Oh no, it's just helpless. Jason's doodham. Lend it crumble. Thanks, Bucky.

Sorry, mate. I was laughing too hard. Hello. It's me. You're lucky. Jason's doing this. It's Adele Song. Sorry, I've gone to Lime or Richie.

Go on, leave me out. Fair enough. I tell you it was a brick house. Brookhouse. Exactly. Kelly Brookhouse. She's a Brookhouse. Oh, how...

She's mad. She's at the train station. You're once. Twice. Three times a Kelly. Three times a Kelly. Oh, it's Kelly Brook now. Guys, come on.

You've got to get the rules right. Statham's a del. Statham's a del. And Brooke is lying on Ritchie. And yes, we've lost our fucking balls. What are we even going on, man? OK, now to play us out. That's why I'm easy.

Oh. That's not saying'm easy. Oh! That's not saying that, because it paints a bad picture of the lady. Has meeting. Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? Has meeting. Crash, bang, wallet, what a house meeting. There it was, yeah. Again, you're very, very speedy on that.

I was still checking my phone. But, yeah, very strong, very strong app. Great to hear that you think you look like Jason Statham. Thank you. Can I mention that? I tell you what, we brushed over that. Pretty smooth. Yeah, you came out very Scott Frey on that.

Thank you. Well, you know what, you're welcome. Thank you. Yes, all the usual stuff. If you enjoy the episode, then leave us a review. Contact us via Patreon and leave us some wedge, or you go to shityearnmoney.com and make a one off donation. Yeah, in fact, shityearnmoney.com also takes you to the Patreon as well.

So if you can't remember the Patreon, just go shityearnmoney.com, it'll take you to either the PayPal or the Patreon. Lovely, easy to do. Recommend us to your friends. Yeah, that's the main thing actually. I really like it when we see on Twitter that people have said, oh, this is my favorite podcast, or this is a podcast I always listen to every week

and recommend it to other people. When people are looking for stuff that's, you know, non-footbally or non-political or just... Jason's faith in me. Jason, that often happens. Guys, can you recommend me a Jason's stator based podcast? Well, we can do one episode. Certainly, can.

Certainly, can. This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham, two, one, two. Please be on standby for the Patreon, Mayberhood Watch. And also be on a staff. Oh my God, so be honest. Be honest, standby, guys.

Cool. Cheers everyone, bye. Honest I forgot so be honest be honest and by guys Can you leave in you Reminding us to do that and leave this bit as well Please be upstanding yes, what before I'll tell you now. And tell you true, the Patreon neighborhood. Watch. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Here he comes. Oh, that's good because here he comes. Here he comes. He's a man who likes the lead and not to follow. Yes. It's David Swallow. Oh, here she comes. Here she comes. Here she comes. She's up there. She's down there. She's doing a merry dance. She's confused about plurals. It's merry frances. He's up there.

Oh, he's down there. He's going to the loose. Beautiful. Here he comes. There he goes. It's only Matthew Hughes. Here he comes, there he goes, it's only Matthew Hughes. Here he comes. Here he comes.

Clark introduced himself. Oh, man. He loves to bones. Oh, dear. It's Philip Jones. He jumps out of the hairdresser. He's brandishing a quiff. It does really suit him though bad decision Lou. We Smith

That's good Here he comes Well up becomes and down he goes in everywhere he says I wish Matthew who's hadn't used all the loose cause I'm desperate for a shit. My name is fits Quite right, Dave sure sure why wouldn't you why wouldn't you and that concludes? Doesn't it? Charlie That concludes. That concludes this week's.

That concludes. That concludes. You can do it on the one if you want. Do a bonus one. Okay. He hates to leave. Well, he's

taken out a big bag. But he just can't quite pack it. Oh dear, poor old Oliver Hackett. It was a very big bag. It was such a big bag. A bag, so big he couldn't pack it. Oh, that concludes the neighborhood watch. Patreon, roll, call and remember guys if you're gonna buy a bag.

Don't buy a one that's so big you can't pack it! Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutton. It's nonstop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.