Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Quiver) S13E08

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. This episode contains no BPA, but Killroy Woz EreLIVE SHOWWe are back at the Phoenix Cavendish Sq in London on April 25th with two superb guests - Abi Clarke and Olga Koch - plus (as Tom will be away filming) a very special guest team captain, our dear pal John Robins. Our last show sold out in less than a day so grab your tickets now!Tickets are £10 but our dear Patreon pals can get them for a mere £8. Click here for tickets https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/600890699257 or pappyscomedy.com/livePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free the Pat in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Greetings, Lestner Dear, I'm Tom. I am Matthew Ben, is on assignment. And welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share House Meeting. It's every way to start your day house meeting. House meeting, yeah. That won't make any sense to people not on the Patreon, Tom, but, okay, fair enough.

Yes, if you wanna know what that's all about, patreon.com, for slash Pappy's Flat Share. But yes, this is a house meeting. that's all about, patreon.com, forward slash, papi's flat share. But yes, this is a house meeting. I don't worry, Clarky is absolutely, he's front and center of this house meeting. He's, well, I mean, that's not fair to say. That's not true, but he's definitely there.

He's definitely present. He's present. He's flanking in the house meeting. He's a way at the moment as we record this intro. But some big news, breaking news, you could even say, two flat slams this month, there's one on the third, and I'm afraid if you weren't quick enough to get your tickets already, our 100th episode, that has now sold out completely.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Sold out in less than 24 hours. Another great way to get early information about this is to go on our Patreon. You find out first, and we said you're a ticket link for discount tickets. You find out first about any upcoming flat slams.

But the next flat slam is also happening this month coming, April. So we've got one on April 3rd. You can't go to that one. We've got one on April 25th. And spring is springing. Spring is really springing and Tom, you're also springing elsewhere, aren't you? Yes, I'm springing off. Yeah, I'll be away on a shoot for six weeks, so we'll be going into kind of temporary mode

where we'll still stick out some house meetings, but otherwise you'll be kind of sailing the ship without me. And that involves this, I've got a first, to my mind. It is a first, it's a first. Which is a live flat slam with a guest captain. That's right, a guest captain. What?

We discussed who it could be. And one name came up pretty much immediately, and luckily they said yes. So I had flat slum royalty. Flat slum royalty and possibly one of our most regular guests. I mean, it's certainly one of our most regular, possibly our most regular guest, but it is of course John Robbins.

So John Robbins is stepping into the very big shoes of Tom Perry. We also have two brilliant guests, Abbey Clark and Olga Koch, both of whom you'll know from previous episodes, either of Beef Brothers or of Flagshade's Lamb Down, both brilliant. But yes, a very exciting episode. Robbins, Clarky, Crosby, Other Clarky, and Cok. It's gonna be a hell of a show. Very excited about it. Sorry that you can't do it, Tom.

Totally. It's a real, you know. I know, but I'll be listening on Fascinated. I think I can trust John to bring the right level of competitive edge with fun that I like to bring as a team captain. He's a man who plays the game seriously. He knows the importance of a flat slam.

So I trust him with my record going up against the clerking. We'll have to find out as well whether or not, I mean, I don't know the answers to this at this stage, but does Fanshorstanden have a brother? Is there a, you know, who knows? We don't know this. These are all things. Only one man knows the answer to that. You will find out, yeah.

And he will also find out probably about 30 seconds before he has to do it. Yeah, so it's gonna be really, really good fun. It's on the 25th of April at the Phoenix, our usual horns at the Phoenix. I'll be there watching on. You'll be there. It'll be the audience. You'll be doing yourself on. You'll be there. It'll be the audience.

You'll be doing yourself. You're flying back for it, aren't you? When you heard it was Robbins, you couldn't miss that. Oh, I can't miss that. It's an opportunity to watch Robbins. And the way I'll be there right on the front row. But yeah, so it's going to be all the tickets, all the details, either available through our Patreon, Patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's Flatshare, or there'll be a link in the show notes.

I always forget, it's very simple. All our live dates are at Pappy'scomedy.com, forward slash live. They're all there for you. I love the beautiful. Links are sick, it's there. Now listen, I want this show to sell out, but I don't want it to sell out as quickly as the

100th show. The last show sold out under 24 hours, so I reckon, give this a very confusing message for me. Give it for to you. If this goes in too, then alarm bells are ringing. I'm sure that this I've just checked. It sold out. No.

I haven't even put the ticket link up online as we're recording this, but it's already sold out, Tom, I'm so sorry, mate. It's what our listeners have been waiting for. No, of course, yeah. It hasn't yet sold out, but the power to do that is in your hands. So vote with your fingers and grab tickets from papyscomedy.com forward slash live and come and see us on the 25th of April at the Phoenix

with John Robbins, Abby Clark and Olga Koch. It should be a very, very fun show. Speaking of fun shows, this house meeting is an absolute doozy. Oh, and it's a real thing. And it starts, you know, obviously, are we seeing a sort of a change in Tom Perry? Because he's flying off to do a shoot.

We can say he's the new cover star of Vogue. He's trying to get his best angle. Yeah, that's it. They're employing 15 photographers. Round the clock. It's going to be intense. Does that angle exist? We're going to find out.

There's going to be one. It's going to be like splitting the atom. It's going to be a flattering angle. But also, this begins by Tom dropping a bombshell about how much money he's chucking around on a water receptacle. So, for Mother's Day, yes. Stay tuned, stay tuned for that. Yeah.

I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat? Has meeting, why on earth am I always weeping?

Who went my bed while I was sleeping? This has a has meeting, what's the point? Does life have a meeting? I bought a water bottle the other day for 35 pounds. Oh mate. What are you doing? What's going on? How big is the water bottle? First, let's hear you out because if you said it was... Oh, you assume if you're 35 pounds, it wants to be the size of the things they stick on top of the water coolers.

It's a three-tonner. It's a three-tonner. No, it's a three-tonner. Well, is that with or without water? It's three-toned before you even put the water coolers. It's a three-toner. It's a three-toner. No, it's a three-toner. Well, is that with or without water? It's three-toned before you even put the water in. Sorry, sorry. I'll start again. I bought a barrel of 35 pounds.

Yeah, that sounds less like a good deal there. So yeah, so we'll talk us through the process here, Tom. Talk us to the water bottle. It all it takes, well, it was a gift.. It all it takes, well it was a gift, so it wasn't for me, it was a gift. It was a mothering Sunday. And I think obviously I think there was a certain degree of panic it's sitting.

Yeah, yeah. I mean. What time, what time of day are we talking? And is this the, we buying it on the Sunday? No, I mean look, it's the old adage by cheap by twice, right? So I knew I wanted to get a water bottle Yeah, and I think in one of my more pressured moments I had just Clicked to buy a water bottle and then the water bottle arrived and I realized

You can't give this water bottle. Oh, no, this is a bad. This is a bad bottle It's a tricky gift isn't it because they don't often look This is a bad, this is a bad bottle. It's a tricky gift, isn't it? Because they don't often look that great. Do they a water bottle? They're just a water bottle. They're quite a functional item, but they're very useful.

People do like and people do need them. I have the opposite take on water bottles. For some reason, I want, I, they're one of my most like, the one of the items I, a cover, salivate over the most. Do you collect warbots? Have you got water?

Have you got water? That's like... You just crave a vessel to contain liquid. I go into a shop and I'm like, oh look at that warbot. That looks so nice. And I'm like, you've got a nice warbot. Yeah, we're supposed to buy one. Exactly. And then that's, you've got a nice water bottle. Yeah, we're supposed to buy one. Exactly.

For ever. And then that's how we save the planet. But you can't be buying loads of them. And never use them. No, I try not to. But I'm probably on my third or fourth of my life. Yeah, they're up there with hats, aren't they? They're up there with shit that you leave.

Like, they, you buy them to last. You leave them. Sunglasses, water bottles, hats't you buy them to last, you leave them. Sunglasses, water bottles, hats. Accessories, we're talking about accessories here. I'm listing accessories. We're talking about things you might put on and take off is what we're talking about, you know. You might get onto a slightly too warm train in the winter

and think, well, I don't need this scarf from an extra whole journey. I'll put it over the back of the chair, and which I did the other day. I want you lost a scarf. Yeah, lost a scarf. It was tough as well because I put it over the back of the chair and I said, I'm gonna lose this scarf. As I was putting it over the back of the chair,

well that's a stupid place to put it. Don't put it there. And I went, no, because you've said you're gonna lose it, you're not gonna lose it. And then I got off the train for us, but a bit breezy around the old neck area. There we go, that's what happens. Fired a scarf or a fattish?

I've got a loaded that. Did you trace it? You know, I've filled in the form on the train, like on the website, but they've not called me back. And I don't know whether I can then call them, you know, I don't know, it's quite hard to describe a scarf as well, isn't it? So it wasn't like this, it's a scarf in it. You know, I don't know, it's quite hard to describe a scarf as well, isn't it? So it wasn't like, it was a scarf, isn't it?

You know? I fancy my chances at describing a scarf, actually. I'd back myself there. Yeah, what I wanted to say was, have you seen an episode one of Baddolts series one? Because I got it for that. Oh no! It was my Baddolts scarf, because I got it for that. Oh no! It was my Baddelt scarf that I'd had to make. So that was 10 years, 10 years this year,

I would have had that scarf. And so you had a baddelt written on it. It was like a footy scarf, a two-minute-hour classic. I actually, I think it was probably, someone took it while they were beating me up. I think that's what happened. When they were going, were you involved

in that TV show Baddelt? So to kick me to the ground on the train. I thought, yeah, I'm going to lose that scarf in a second. Along with the most of my teeth. Yeah, no, it didn't have bad odds written on it. No, it's just a sort of ready orangey scarf, but maybe my description wasn't good enough. Maybe I needed you, man. I should have sent you a photograph of it and said, fill in this form for me, would you? Do us a favor. It's like a warm tie. It's like a big warm tie. You know what a scarf is? So anyway, so the bad bottle arrives. It's a bad bottle, man.

Yeah. And then I thought, I can't give this. This is coming straight back. The bad bottle had like a carrier sleeve. A bit like, a bit like you'd imagine a messenger would carry a message in it in the old and times, you know, like from a cherry from notting him to... Like a quiver, like something that you keep your arrows in.

Like a quiver, yeah, but it wasn't a good quiver, it was like bad quiver, bad bottle, bad purchase. And how much are we talking for the bad bottle, bad quiver? 14.99. Still, still not to be sniffed at. That's still a chunk man. The Mr. Descended. And then it arrived and I was like, you knew you were cheapening it off at the time

and it's arrived and that's not gonna fly. No. No. No, and you know that feeling. Can I ask you a question very, very quickly because this is quite key. Is it for your own mother or is it for the mother of your child? That's a very personal question actually, my friend.

Okay, sorry, sorry. Never the questions. Another grain, I said, the house meeting there. Wow. Is it always a lie? Wow. Always a lie, and I just, you know, I'm an edge lord. That's what I do. I cross those, I ask those typical questions.

I tell you the equivalent of what I did when I clicked on this bad quiver, bad bottle. You know, when you smell the mints, and you think, yeah. But you put it in anyway, and then you cook the ball of nays. And you think, oh, what am I as I was thinking? And then, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Christmas is really, anyway, either way, this big boy still says, or horrible, or you're power like mints, when we each have a different take on mints, Chris, this is really... Either way, either way, this big point still says. It's horrible. Or you're power-life mince. We each have a different take on mince. That's the beauty of puppies. And if you'd have seen Baddler's The Mint episode, honestly, it was lost to the seasons of his life.

That's it. It was a great lost episode. Anyway, it was that... You smell the mince, you think, it'll be all right. Yeah. It's in your day, but... It's in a little gray. It's it was that you smell the mince you think it'll be all right. Yeah. It's in your day. It's in a little gray. It's looking a little gray. It's on the gray. Then you cook it. You put all your ingredients in. You've got your bolognese in and then you go to serve up and you're like tasting. You're like, yeah, it's bad enough. Now I've got

to hold bolognese on it. That's going in the bin. Yeah. That's the same. The Clark is got an expression there that that hasn't happened to you. No, I've never been the Bologna's and honestly that's that's that's hurt me. Parry that must be what you do. You do it. You do it. Yeah, what would you do with mince on the turn or do you just power through? Well, this I'm not a big shop guys. You know, so I normally buy my bints by mints, cook it. He doesn't do a big shop. Yeah, I forgot you were a millennial. Yeah, I'm, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're talking to a pair of Gen Xers here, so we just don't understand that.

Different generation. I, by the way, still, I still feel like the big shop has to be done in person. I think, we've talked about the big shop before, but, Parry, you're an in-person guy, aren't you? You know, in person for life? Yeah, I love it. I mean, my dear wife, Charlie, likes the online shop and fair enough because it is very convenient. And also, as she says, you can see all the things you bought before and just buy them again, as opposed to going around, you know, using your memory or what you think is missing.

I love the... What? I've had an incredible idea. Here we go. No, there's every chance we've probably discussed this before and it's someone else's idea. But right now I'm going to ride this... That's already a good start. I'm going to ride the crest of this wave. If this was an episode of Dragon's Den by the way.

I'm going to ride the crest of this wave. If this was an episode of Dragon's Den, by the way. LAUGHTER I'm going to ride the crest of this wave. Sweat just pouring out of me. Has an idea. We've given it a sniff. We're not sure about it, but it's going in nonetheless. It would endates. This is you, OK, so this is you, you know, you've got through this far in the apprentice,

you're picking up into Alan Sugar. It's really good, actually. OK, here we go. You marry. Right, you enjoy the sensation of the big shop. It as a past time is walking around. Your wife enjoys the convenience of online shopping. You marry the two. You have an app. It's kind of like it's VR or it's a just a computer game sim style to begin with. But you marry the online shop clicking on items, but actually you do it in person walking around a 3D supermarket

and it plays in. You can even have a little, you can play little games, I've bonus points that knock off prices of your veg as well. Are you suggesting that we open a supermarket in the Metasphere? It's a Metastore, yeah. What is that? It's a Metamark store, Express. The Metamark, exactly. The Metamark.

The Metamark. That's it, exactly. Plegs meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta market. It's a meta and it'll remember where you've gone and you'll speed up a little bit and go for you or you can take the time to browse if you're feeling a bit browsery. But all you're doing is just wandering around your own living room. Yeah, I love it. And then you've seen all the convenience of the online shop but without going, there is definitely something there, you know.

You still get the one of the things I like to do which is looking other people's baskets, you still get all of that, all of that still there because you'll see other people doing the doing the meta shop. Big thing going around about the old upturned pineapple a few weeks ago. What's this? I don't know about the upturned, but talk me through the upturned pineapple.

I don't know about that. If you're doing a shop with an upturned pineapple in your basket, it means you're down to swing. What? An upturned means that you're resting on its leaves. Yeah, and upside down pineapple, as you go around the supermarket, is a secret signal to people

that means you're into shagging around and you fancy a shag. Right. I don't even think it's like swinging or like open or whatever it may be or orgy stuff. It's a bit like the slightly problematic light house party. What is traffic lights? Traffic light party.

If you're in the lighthouse family. Three run ups at the phrase traffic lights. Lighthouse fair enough. We can accept lighthouse traffic light. fair enough, right? We can accept light house, light house traffic light. The next one, fire engine, shot off the fire engine. Oh, come on, cross me. What are you doing there? We're piecing together because the fire engine would be the red light. The light house would be like the yellow in the middle of the amber light. All you need is a green one. So, you know, you're putting the ingredients together in your brain. Yeah, the Roxanne, the yeah, the, yeah, what is it? Yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the deck is my runners. Oh my god. Oh boy. Anyway, yeah, it's a bit, so it's a bit like that.

It's code like you would get at a fire engine party. It's like playing a bar the game. It's like, it's cross-be-playing, give us a clue on his own. So I've done how these recordings feel sometimes. Is he both, like, a little player in pre-enterscails? Like, if I was listening to our back catalogue, I'd swear there were rules that I didn't know about that we were playing, too. I'd be like, oh, well, that guy can't finish his sentences. That guy's not allowed to use the real word for a thing. And that guy, he'd be like, okay, okay, okay,

I get the game, I get the game. And that guy has wicked ideas. And that guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion.

That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. That guy has concussion. There's something in it, the meta market. There's definitely something in it. If you don't go VR on it, if you're just playing it as a little handheld game. Like, I think it has to be. It has to be VR because you want the experience

and the immersive experience. Yeah, that's, you know. I started to sound a bit like a website if it's a handheld game. No, well no, I'll say this, my banking app, right? When I transfer from one account to the other, it lifts up a little bit of a block, boop boop boop, travels across, boop boop boop

and comes down boop boop boop on the other side. Like Tetra, that's enough of a game in experience for me to feel extremely satisfied about doing online banking. So I just think if you bring a little bit of computer game play into a boring app on your phone I've got to ask right who's got the rights to your banking app because the last of us huge success They're taking a famous computer game, right?

I can be able to everyone loves to play make it into a drama, right? Could you think we could do a sort of gritty Hard-to-watch drama about your banking. You could definitely do one about my banking. You can barely have to watch. You can see where the budget's gone. I'm certainly not going to be on water bottles. There's a whole world of water bottles. LAUGHTER There's a whole world of water bottles out there that it's very easy to get lost in. And then suddenly you feel very normal about buying a water bottle of 35 pounds.

Yeah. So this water bottle when it arrives, what's it made of? Is it still a plastic bottle? Is it one of those metal ones with the rubber sleeve around them? It's good stuff, man. That's the thing. And now I'm thinking,? Is it one of those metal ones with the rubber sleeve around them? Yeah, it's good stuff, man. That's the thing. And now I'm thinking, do I need one of these? I mean, it's like, no, you don't. You don't.

I've got the Chinese quiver one in my cup, but do you know what I mean? Of course, I've made my bed. Yeah. I've made my bed with the bad plastics, bad quiver. But you're falling into this trap of like, it's BPA free or whatever it is BPA is it BPA BPA? BPA? I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. Bad plastic free. Does BPA have a bad plastic? I think it does, yeah. It's bad plastic aware. BPA guys, you know, it's ceramic lined, It's like metal on the outside, ceramic on the inside, metal straw, the only plastic bit is BPA free, silicon, metal straw,

all been made out of, you know, whatever. Does it keep your drink cool? Does it have a good, it keeps its ceramic all, or it keeps it hot? It keeps it hot. It keeps it, you know, it keeps it fresh. It keeps it clean. Speaking of language. Senesilink. Yeah, I'm not Senesil fresh. Oh my God, it keeps it clean. Speaking my language.

Senesilink. Yeah, I've got a pass. Senesilink. I've got a ball. Well, he's going to want to chuck away. I'm going to get both of them. I'm going to get the cruffle one and the quiver one. Here's the thing.

Could you put the good one in the bad quiver? Does it have a little in the bad quiver? Of course he tries. Of course he tries, because first he can try it. What do you think? Listen, the big question here, Parry, that none of us have asked so far, and I've been dying to ask is, oh yeah. What, what make, what later would we talk in?

For someone dying to ask that question, you don't work out as straight. I thought Karkaki was drowning there. What, what, what, what? Kaki! Kaki, stop trying to drink out your water bottle and I'll just still like it. I'm just still like it. Hey, for the light, it's Kaki. Hey, for the light, you can make it.

I was saying a fire engine. No, no, stay away from the fire engine. LAUGHTER It is. I believe it's a, it might be a liter, I think. Oh, boy. Or it might be shy. It might be just shy of a liter, but it's up. Scent up, yeah.

It might be 750, but I think it's up to a liter. I don't know. It's concerned that would be too big, but I think it's up to a later. I don't know if you're doing it. It's concerned that it'd be too big, but it doesn't feel too big. But it's just, you know, when you get into that kind of, once you get into the frame of, you're gonna spend a little bit of money, and then suddenly, there's like a bit of a sliding scale,

and I'll show you know it, you've gone a bit too big on something. Yeah, that happens to me a lot. Yeah, 100%. I justify big spends with other big spending items, which is not the way to do it. So you go like, oh, it's 35 quid. But then I spent 35 quid the other day in a pub.

And you go like, yeah, that's bad. You just don't do it. You don't do it, those things, yeah. You just draw an equivalent line ago. Well, it's only like that. Yeah, I't do it. You just have to draw an equivalent line to go. Well, it's only like that. Yeah, I saw it by the, I kept him on piston, brought a water bottle because I thought tomorrow's the day my life changes. And it isn't.

I'm going back to the parts of the 35 quid tonight. Can you fill this up with the side, X? I'm going to drink it at the bus stop. Is that what I'm saying? Yeah, we have to take that to the pub. I mean, I'll be outside with a bad quiver. LAUGHTER Give us a few metrics, mate. I mean, I'll be outside with a bad quiver. I can't wait to see Barry on the streets of the quiver. With the quiver of ale.

So Tom, when he handed over for Mothering Sunday, which was of course last Sunday, when you handed over the bottle, how was it received? Underwhelmingly so. Yeah, I was going to see it's a water bottle. Was it the only gift or was it part of a sort of a array of sweet gifts? But it was the best gift. The other one was a crap bottle. You gave both bottles, you would make your choice. And you love bottles. Fucking hell, I tell you what, Mother's Day becomes fucking mirrors within mirrors, doesn't it? I got so, you're buying for your wife who's now a mom and then your mom who's your mom and then obviously your nan who's her mom and then your wife's mom who's her mom and before you know it you're like,

I know too many, there's too many moms now. Yeah, it's going on, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got so confused, I forgot my man. Oh no. Who's an old timer, she's been in there, not all time, but like she's a veteran of Mother's Day Cards, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She didn't forget her, but. She even having Mother's Day Cards for years, hasn't she? It becomes a real, it's intense, man. I think you circles, I think you, how some mirrors is too many mirrors there? I've got three wives. Your mom.

Have you seen the TV show Big Love? That's Paris Life, basically. Did it ever do a mother's name, especially on Big Love? You should have really done that with him running around. He's different woman wives. You know those more wives?

That's where the word comes from. As they say, more, more problems. What's the word? It's not portmanteau. What are those films that are like? You know what? You love actually spawned it where it's like Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a series of horror films. Lots of interlocking stories. Yeah, but I think there is a word for it, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Shortcuts, the Robert

Altman movie is one of those. So is it, what's a Paul Mantto movie then? Paul Mantto is two things put together. So Man Toe is like, you know when they took by like, benefit. So like Wayne's world. Port Man Toe, the Jurassic Park. Exactly. Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, possibly disparate things that it puts together to make one move it.

Right, yeah. Okay. But so what, what, what's this one called? What would the example of a Port Man Toe movie be then? I can only think of Port Man Toe movies as a dawn. I guess that's sort of a movie where the genre changes halfway through. Yeah, it's like, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I. Don't spoil it for me, I'm halfway through with a man.

I've got a lovely date night's work, a little hinder, it's gonna be fantastic. Guys, I've just Googled Port Mantone, it says it's a large traveling bag made of stiff leather, and I've just bought one for four days. I've got another one. It's got another farthest. It's got a bigger bag for his quiver.

Oh, hang on, no, here we go, it is. I was right, they are Port Manto films. They're Port Manto's days. A film that can buy two or more stories in the manner of a Port Manto in the linguistic sense. God, I'm thick now, I don't know. I don't know. Tom, look up linguistic, would you?

In the linguistic senseistic sense. It's my favourite type of bastard. Oh, I'm a bastard. I'm a total... I've got a group of... Port Manza. Oh, mum. Yeah. He's Mamamero.

Crucially, is that a Port Manza movie? LAUGHTER Tragically not. So, there isn't quite a film in Mother's Day, is there really? It'd be a bit... You mean, there is in your Mother's Day? You're giving Mother a gift every... If any Mother comes into your...

No. And now you've got all of the Mother's Together, and you've cooked them a gorgeous Bolognese. I've got to ask, how did the Mother's Day Bolognese go? Please tell me that was a success. I should have smelled the beer. I had a quiver full of mince. Guys, big breaking news, stats fans, you know, lose your mind. It's a large ceramic reusable bottle and it is 1,000 and five milliliters.

What? So it's just up over the later. Whoa. What helped you there? I'm sorry, I'm not on board. Well you are, no, because it's not yours. Yeah, but obviously I'm going to buy it off the top. Surely that's what this is.

You don't have to fill it to the top and then you can still get your later in there. Yeah, that sounds crap. I'll give you 50 quid for it. I spent that at the pub just now. And 200 if you thought it'd be a quiver. That quiver's mind. Use it for my pens. MUSIC Cold rain or hot snow?

50 sleepers. MUSIC Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that.

Four things. It's a like theaters for December 15th. Did you ever have a flamboyant pencil case? What was like, what was the edge you you went with your pencil case at school? Because it always felt like a tricky... It's a certain statement isn't it? Like you're like your bag. There's not a lot.

Well, my school was uniform led, so there was a lot you could express yourself with. Yes, yes, yes. So, you know, pencil it was one of them. Are you asking, basically, you're asking the biggest question in stationery, did we have one that looked like a bag of Walker's crisps? Is that what you're asking me? Well, we the coolest kid in school, no, I never did have that one, I wish I had.

But, yeah, no, I, I, I, you know, I'm struggling to remember. Weirdly, I do remember, you always felt very excited just before you started school, going into W.H. Smith and buying the little tin that contained your small ruler, your protractor, your sense quit, all that kind of stuff. Stationary days were just so exciting. I only good to think about going back to school. I used to feel so, like when like when you see up in Woolworth, you're like halfway through the summer holidays,

up in Woolworth, they put up the signs going, back to school, you know, and they show people wearing gray trousers, and you're like, oh, God. Why are you telling me the summer's fucking over? Now, it's halfway through the summer, you know? I still got plenty of days to go on my play schemes. You know, let me enjoy it. Let me enjoy going and making a wooden ship.

Let me enjoy that kind of stuff. You know, remind me. But then the day you did get to go and buy a big eraser, I loved it. Yeah, cool. Do you know what I think I was a fan of? No, I'm thinking about it. So, ten, just ten.

Like a metal. A metal. 10, just like mech-tool, oh right, mech-tool. I remember Rachel, it was a hell of a pause after 10, no I thought I had to... I just think beans, just to really hear that well. Just talking to you, a new conversation about 10. She's not like that. I like to offer those books by Hershey. Um, I'll tell you what was going on in a second then, but you know those metal bands

play. Okay, because I was on the table, I found, I wanted to just examine the bad quiver bottle just to see how big that was as well. And upon finding it, I realised it was actually bet it's BPA-free and it's blown on my ears because it says, it says, it says, made from soft safe silicon, the straw silicon, so it's not BPA. The Lid's BPA free, cadmium free, and it's made with barossolate glass, which is leak proof and dishwasher safe. I don't think leak proof glass is a good,

it's a good, it's a good, it's not a good lame, isn't it? I think leak proof should be the absolute bottom line of your bottle, right? And also like an anti-dust lid, and it's like, if dust thing get through your lid. By the way, are you not a lid is it? Do you buy a mother's take it for Auntie Dustlid? Did she do that as well?

Oh no, my wife! I saw the other day and she looked a little bit put out quite frankly. Yeah, and also, my, one of my family members stuck out on the family WhatsApp, a happy mother's day to all the mothers in the family. And I thought, that's too much.

I don't know how you feel about that. Well, it's down, I'm down with that. It's the sort of, kind of bare minimum, really, to send a WhatsApp message to a group. To say, help me mother's day, I know it's fine. I don't think it's a problem. I don't think it's a problem. I think it's a problem. Stick to your own mother.

Stick to your own mother. But you, but tell me, you say that we've got about 50. That's not the bubble. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no there, my mother-in-law's there, and then my wife's the mother So yeah, I have to cover that but I'm not going to our sister and going congratulations on being a mom today Oh my cousin over there is a mom. I'll pat her on the back as it like that then my head would implode Maybe that's the second film in the poor matters But I thought your head was made of special type of silicone. It doesn't implode

It's just brief. Basically, sorry, that's where I got distracted when you were talking about pens cases because I realised that the quiver bottle. Wait, wait, wait, wait, could I just say, I wasn't talking about pencil cases. You asked me about pencil cases. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. I was talking about some time. Which I thought, what I hoped would be a way that would spark conversation. And I saw your eyes question. Which I thought what I hoped would be a way that would spark conversation. And I saw your eyes glaze over.

And I know you don't look at the zoom when we're having these chats, because you're browsing through your emails and checking everything that's coming in. But you've got to stay a little bit focused when you ask the fucking question the first place may. Come on. I'm just bought three pencil cases.

So, pick me up, man. Then BBA free. Now I'll tell you what, those walkers, Chris Pence guysents cases, they weren't BPA free, where they were BPA, probably chiefly made of BPA. So you could drink out that, no way, give it yourself. Right, so metal, this is what I was getting at. My preference was a metal pencil case. Yeah.

And then you could go out with your compass. Oh, you could, what, pierce holes in it, you mean? Like you could go out with your compass. Oh What pierce pierce holes in it you mean like you can keep the scrape off scrape off the paint to make You know lots of scrapings and doodlings and draw what were your what were your favorite Doodlings to do did you do the special S that everyone does do that? Yeah big fan of Fido Dido Yeah, drawing a little Fido Dido on there. A piece symbol. I used to do a lot of the piece symbol, the CNDP symbol. But I did go to school in 1967, I should say that.

I had my own character called Mike. Oh yeah. Well, you had a mascot. Inspired because it was the era for it. You know, we had flicking flack for the swatch watches. We had Fido, Diodo for seven up. It was a time when there were mascots attached to things. So why shouldn't a kid at school in Wolverhampton?

Absolutely, they're great. I think I was like Mike. That was Mike. Like I did Mike everywhere. Like Mike was my tag tag if you like. Okay, I'm just going to describe my name, Mike Tag. Mike, can I just talk the list of three what Mike actually looks like here? Mike is a little guy, lift him up a little bit higher there, apparently.

So he's a little guy with a big round nose. So he's basically like a big nose, some eyes sticking out the top of the nose, some sort of punky type hair, and then a little grin underneath. Very like, you know, a very simple line drawing, but immediately evocative of a cheeky chapie. Mike is the kind of person who would draw Mike. That's, which is, it's rare you get a character like that,

where they would, they could be their own creator. I like that. Maybe he was. I don't know how to work. Yeah. But, well, because he was so distinctive like that,

then I could do, I'd do like different types of Mike. So I'd do like, almost like the garbage pale kids. You could do different versions of Mike, you know, sometimes some, obviously be like cowboy Mike or whatever or like, you know. Yeah, or angry Mike or cool Mike or like giant Mike or you know, Mike the hunter or Mike the footballer.

Like lots of different body was you always just a face. Not my, I take in fact, Pluliel, he had a very distinctive, not distinctive, I'll tell you the truth, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. reading the Bino. Everyone in the Bino had a really skinny neck and a big sticky out Adam's apple. Yeah.

And that was the sort of classic, the classic Bino look, yeah. I have an underwhelming Adam's apple, but I feel quite relieved about that. They look quite painful ways, anyone who's got like the big ones going on. I know what you mean. Sometimes you see a person's bone structure

and you think, oh, it must be mad to have that going on in you. I remember seeing, it's similar to the adips apple, because sometimes if you see an adips apple, it's going up and down all the time. You really watch it. You watch it, it's going to be jumping around the back of the throat. But I remember seeing somebody who, when they talked, the front of their nose curved down, like as they were talking, like every word they said, their nose kind of went with the, like the skin around your like top lip must be so taught.

You know, like every time they talked, the nose was going as well. And it was all like a barely focusing a word they were saying because I could just, I was just watching their nose going up and down. It's such an odd, but yeah, I know exactly what you mean. We've got to get together soon and have a good nose wag. Ah!

Ah! We truly do. But yeah, I know what you mean about the Adam's Apple. What do you think about my, do you think my Adam's Apple is quite pronounced? I think it's probably the most pronounced. Maybe it's the most pronounced. But then maybe that's because you've got the thinnest neck. I think it's probably the most pronounced. Maybe it's the most pronounced. But then maybe that's because you've got the thinnest neck.

I think I've always been a bit jealous of people with big Adam's apples. I'd love to be able to see that kind of lean guys. Guys who look like cyclists. I don't like a cyclist. Not you personally, no. God, God, Oh, God. Could reach the pedals. Still got my stabilizers on.

I tell you, it could be a cyclist. Mike, well you have to do just five minutes. I'd like to help me on him. I'd give the handles, Mike on a bike. You name it. You name it, I'd stick Mike into that situation. Bishbashbosh. I was a regular, you know, that was,

I thought there was a, because obviously Fido Dido sold a lot of t-shirts and I kind of thought, I don't, hey, did Fido Dido come through seven up or did Fido Dido find seven up? Oh, you think it's just a cartoon character who loved seven up and they were like, we should make something of this.

Yeah, or was he like, was he a cartoon and people were like, we'll technically hire him. I think you're created four, seven up, yeah. The other guy, what was the name of, God, what was the name of the, oh, was it Killroy? Killroy was the other guy that you saw a lot. Killroy Silk.

Not Robert Killroy Silk. You used to do Killroy Silk. He used to do it. I'm not your pencil, Casis. Well, it's not people from nickin' them. That was gonna nick you if you've got kill Roy there. But no, kill Roy. As your uncle ever stole your car, we'll be talking to someone who that happened to today

and bringing out the uncle. Join after this Pebble Mill. Bringing out the uncle's a show I wasn't my watching. Is that one a Harry Mantell's books? Alright, I'm cool. Bringing out the uncle. Put the uncle's asleep. So no, Killroy. Killroy was the guy who he had, it was fingers and a line and a nose going over. So it was like, as if he was peering over a wall. And people would write Killroy was here or was here. Am I right in remembering Killroy? And he had a nose that came down.

His nose went lower than the wall. His fingers went lower than the wall. His fingers went lower than the wall. And it was just like peering over a wall with a big long nose. Oh, I tell you what, my entire childhood had just wondered, what is Adam's apple like? Ah! He is, is it as long as his nose?

He was quite close to the wall, so it kind of hampered his proximity to Kirkwork. Can I, by the way, as if I didn't want to feel old enough already, I've just Googled Killroy. Killroy was a meme, this is from the... that's it, yeah. Killroy was a meme that became popular during World War II. Oh no! I think the first time I saw it was the day I was at King's Cross Station being evacuated.

I bumped her, slammed her. I popped your little Adam's apple in a box, piece of string go of your shoulder and sent you off to Devon. Oh my goodness. The quiver. Is that why I've been evacuated? Is that what's happened to me? I think it's me. Oh my god.

Is Kilroy everything you remembered? Yeah. It's exactly, exactly is our remembering. Yeah. Long nose. So I got the first meme. Yeah. Kilroy is here as a meme that became popular during World War II, typically seen in graffiti.

It's origin is debated, but the phrase and distinctive accompanying doodle became associated with the GI's in the 1940s. A bald headed man, something to pick to have a few hairs with a prominent nose peaking over a wall with his fingers clutching the wall. He's called Chad or Mr Chad. But I remember him being Killroy, but I remember that being a big thing in the 80s and you know Maybe we're a little bit behind the times in Bromley, but not that far but not 40 years behind the times Oh, it's a bad thing when when you go who remembers and Members rationing a doodle bugs. I'll tell you Do you remember that thing? Do you remember his rationing, eh? Do you remember doodle bugs? I tell you what, do you remember powdered egg in your lunchbox?

Oh my God. Well, that's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me.

That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. That's the end of me. He pulled the wall onto himself. LAUGHTER And I joined all my GI bunnies up there. I tell you what. Your Gravestone will be so funny. Have a little man with a nose and glasses peeking over the top of it across me was here.

Just, just, just, fingers and nose and glasses. Fucking hell, that's a funny Gravestone. That's great. Do you know, uh, do you know Jack Lemons Gravest no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That doesn't certainly doesn't sound right. I think Tom was going to ask me something. Oh yeah, sorry, my top being just... I was going to ask if Robert Killroy Silk is still alive, but if he, when he goes, that there's a good bit of work to be done on his birthday. Not very respectful work, but work.

Yeah, but I don't think that's a problem. LAUGHTER I just wanted to round things up by asking you about your water bottle situation because you started off with a deep longing for water bottles and a clear obsession with water bottles. What's your water bottle status at present? I currently have one which was a replacement for the last one I lost and this one actually has, it's got Clarky written on it.

Oh nice. By you, the Sharpie, or something. This wasn't the SIGGIT. It was a gift, wasn't it? Yeah, that's right. For Clarky Day. From Harry, yes. He kept the quiver.

And it's 500ml, so it's quite, quite obviously very respectable, very respectful. Too small, too small for your liking, but you couldn't say because it was a gift. What I'm getting out there is when you obsess about a thing and you do enough shopping around and then someone buys it for you. It better be cocked bollock

Yeah, yeah, it's true And is it so I keep beat be honest Be honest I prefer a 750. Let's be honest. Oh Just that little bit extra You don't know how to bottle see you have to be carrying around a little canteen as well, do you? No, yeah, a little top up. You can't be doing that, yeah.

I mean, the thing is, Clarky, I know you. You could get a 250 mil cup. You could put it in a cup with you. Good deal. It would have to be leak proof. I like to be a cup, this is amazing. I don't think any cuts truly leak proof, is it? Cause it's got a big aperture at the top. Hey, the website where I bought this bottle from,

they sell leak proof cups. What? They got it all. I am. Are you working on some sort of commission here? How do you say, you're not, you're not the phydo diadino with this bottle company, are you? Actually, if my head just suddenly turned into Mike,

you're headed into Mike, you winked and you hopped on your motorcycle and went off. I'd love that. I'd love that too. My did ride a bikebike, actually. Yeah. He is that kind of guy, and it's a lot easier than drawing. Yeah. In one car. Okay, so you've had a gift, and have you bought, have you ever bought a water bottle

in return for your partner? Yes, I have. Same brand. Did you go 750? Did you go 70? No. You didn't. But you know what you could have probably done is you could have gone 750 and then just

worked out a sort of gradual switcheroo. Yeah, that's true. You both, well hang on, so you both bought 500s? Both secretly longing for a 750. I don't know, I don't know if she secretly longs for a 750, who knows? But who's there? But who's there? But who's there? My wife longs for a 750, because she's got a 1,000 and five.

That's ceramic. That's pure. She's carrying around a goddamn toilet bowl. It's a beer stuff. It's a beer stuff. Leak proved though. A leak proved toilet bowl. Cross you.

Yeah, well that's not a solution. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? Definitely. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? But the question on everyone's lips, is it BPA free? It is BPA free. That's your podcast, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Women, Papis.

That's right. The B stands for Ben. The P stands for Papis. The A stands for Apologies. LAUGHTER But we can't always end on a big high. It's having subtitles on a foreign film cheek. That's easy. Well, there you go.

I think that might be the episode that prompts an awful lot of Amazon searches. Oh yeah. Big time. If there's a boom in a water bottle sales over the next 24 hours, people will be able to talk about the flat slam effect. Yeah, the Pappy spike. Surely there's some sponsorship in there. There's gotta be some BPA free sponsors. There's got to be.

Surely somebody's gonna get in touch. Do you know the other day at work, I saw a Quiver and I thought, I might just nick it. It was just in the global offices at Radio X and I thought no one really needs that Quiver, I might just nick it. It was just in the global offices at Radio X and I thought, no one really needs that quiver. I might just nick it. No, I want to miss it a quick one.

It was a pretty big one though. I think it was supposed to carry, what do you even call the things? You know the things that if you're doing a presentation at like an expo, you would unroll a big thing and stick it on a stick. Oh yeah, wow. You know what I'm talking about?

I mean, the list of probably just like a display on a stick. Oh yeah, wow. You know what I'm talking about? I mean, the list of all of you. Yeah, like a display roll. Like a display roll, exactly. It was one of those I thought no one needs that anymore. It's just been discarded. I might get one of those and fill it with like 20 water bottles.

Always be hydrated. A 20 liter. Yeah. He's a moral conundrum for us, Oh, right. What if a wealthy sponsor gets in touch. He's a moral conundrum for us, cross-bluepod. What if a wealthy sponsor gets in touch and it's a BPA company? Specializing the manufacturer of BPAs

and they're using the sponsor spot to kind of counter all this BPA free talk. Right. I mean, that's it. What's it doing? That is obviously, you know, whenever you accept to take the corporate dollar, there's always a moral aspect to that.

And I think it, you know, it very much depends on the price, doesn't it? It very, very, you know, if you're willing to, basically, what we're saying is, if you're willing to throw top dollar at us, we can be bought and sold. If big BPI come calling, we'll answer the phone. Well, here you are. Yeah. calling, we'll answer the phone. Well, here you are. And then we'll make a decision. What you haven't seen yet is that,

I don't know why I haven't included it in the main thing, but you know that led by Donkeys thing with his big to Quotty Quotting and Matt Hancock and they find out what their day rate is. They also did this thing operation on us as well. Well, it wasn't much of a news story because they said, what should day rate we say about them, I'm 30 quid. They're projecting against my back gate as we

spoke. They're actually watching it. They've got like a little projector going in the back garden. Making you pop your own news. They're interested. Yeah, yeah, it's had quite an underwhelming effect really, to be honest, but that's the next thing. They love to try. They're by donkeys. Six weeks away, they're by donkeys. Trying to sell your own name. Anyway, right, well, have a great time, everybody. You know, enjoy yourselves and each other. Stay hydrated. Stay hydrated and get yourself, of course,

to papyscomedy.com forward slash live, where you can buy tickets for that very, very special guest captain episode of Flash Air Slamdown on the 25th of April with John Robbins in Tom's stead and also Olga Koch and Abby Clark as our brilliant guests. And there's not forget the clock for yourself. Yeah, see you, see you all there. The old God, the old God, the old faithful, the ravens in the tower Tower when we leave the whole thing collapses. Um, um, yeah.

That's a nice episode. It was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye! Yeah. I agree. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yay! Yeah! I agree! 13th.