Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Roof needs a news church it does) S10E23

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Little Cross-Stitch, The Twattery Winner and Sugar boy imagine getting on the news, time for a tapestry? This Wednesday 10th June at 8pm (BST) Pappy's are hosting YET ANOTHER Flatshare Slamdown, LIVE on the internet with special guests Josh Widdicombe, Sara Pascoe and Steen Raskopoulos. Get your tickets NOW!https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-w-widdicombe-pascoe-and-raskopoulos-tickets-107821836014Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom. At in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things.

It's like theaters December 15th. Beep it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up. Hey, beep it up, boop it up. boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, we going baby. Beep it up, beep it up, beep it up, boop it up, beep it up, listen to a deer, greetings, boop it up, boop it up, boop it up, the like greetings, sorry, we're not really short. No, we're leaving all of that in. Um, well listen to Deer, welcome to another house meeting I'm Tom. I'm Ben.

And be with up, boob it up, I am Matthew. Welcome. Oh boy. Welcome indeed, as Tom said. Now, fun episode today, we get through a lot of vitally important issues of the day. Absolutely right. But we've got a few messages and I'm really enjoying this. Do you remember again, the talk about people whose names sound like a thing, like we had

charity nights and we had wind chimes recently? There's a real purity to guys' message here. Guy got in touch via pappiesflatshare.gmail.com. Please do get in touch, guys. I went to school with a Tom Boiler. Love it. Oh, no! That's great.

Tom Boiler. Yes, please. I love that. I hope he was allowed to run the raffle. Right, well, we'll crack on with the episode. All that remains to say is that we're doing a live on Zoom Pappy's Flat Share tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow guys. So if you're listening to this,

it's gonna be on the day of Cleo Street. Yes, we have got two absolutely stonking guests. Well, three, haven't we? We've got, we've actually got three guests. Yeah, we've got Josh Whitacom, that's one guest. We've got Sarah Pasco,

and Sarah Pasco is bringing along her own flatmate, a real life flatmate, Steen Raskopoulos, also a fantastic comedian, very, very, very funny. It's going to be a great show. So we had a lovely time last time doing a live Zoom recording, so please do come and join us. Here's how. Yes, if you go to our Twitter, that's always a good way to find the tickets at Pappies Tweets on Twitter.

You can find the tickets there. If not, go to Eventbrite, which is e-v-e-m-t-b-r-i-t-e.co.uk and search for Pappies FlatShare. And you should be able to find the tickets there. So, very exciting. And if you also as well, if you're enjoying these episodes, we urge you to join the Patreon as well while we're putting out bonus episodes every single day.

Patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's flat share. They're really great that we've come along and join us. Join us. But otherwise, enjoy today's house meeting. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the flat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set there? He has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping?

Let's have a has meeting. What's the point? Does life There's a half a meeting. B-10, B-10, B-10. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Half a meeting. I watched an interview this morning on BBC News. Oh, yeah. And it was a politician and they'd put a picture on their radiator as their background.

Well, they changed it. No, no, no. Is that Terry Watt? Why they've been interviewed by a radiator? Terry Watt for no, man. It's a Terry Watt. Why they've been interviewed by a radiator? Terry Watt for no, man. They were on Zoom. You mean for a lot of people? They're chose...

Was it a high radiator? What, the Terry Watt was... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The Tories... This Tories MP was sat by a radiator. Was it a high radiator? Or were they sat by... Because, were they sat on the floor?

I see, I mean... Trying to think to think of why the radiator would be. They were sat on the chair and the radiator, it was behind them and they put a picture on their radiator. Oh, on top of it. I thought you were like, I'm not there. Yeah, I thought you'd say to stack a poster on it. Yeah. Well, because it was on their radiator, it was like,

that's not normally there, right? You don't put your pictures on your radiator. No, no, no, no. They've got radiators to cover. But even so, yeah, I think, yeah, if you've got a radiator cover, but then even then, Oh hang on.

They're gonna, Oh my God. It needs to be one of those sort of big, almost like a mantel piece, you know, like a big wooden radiator. It looks like a mantel piece. Let's build all round your radiator. But even then, you know, the heat's going to be rising.

That's what heat does. We know that from our science lessons. The heat's going to be rising straight through the wood, straight into the picture frame. It might discolor the photograph. You might know what all the print. It's a model print. It's a model print.

Thank you, Thomas. Yes. Well, here's the big question, Tom. What was in the frame? Because was it a poster saying, please don't put anything on this radio it was a thermometer Are you sure it was in the moment? You sure it wasn't them telling you how much money they'd recently raised for the church roof You can be confused. I saw one on a church if I thought there's no one getting that on my a-ness There's no one getting that on my anus. But you gave it a good go.

I gave it a, the best shot I could. Even if you were a sponsored event. He managed it. Well, he was a sponsored event and he raised money to save the church roof. So he raised the roof. Yeah, a confusing event, but one that pleased some people. Yeah. Me specifically.

Yes, but not all. I mean, the church were up in arms. Well, I'm banned from the church. And I'm like, that roof belongs to me. You Well, I'm banned from the church and I'm like that That roof belongs to me and that we can go on the roofmate. You can't come inside What like a protest in prison. Yeah, absolutely. You're up there during the sermon They're throwing tiles down at the screws. Yeah, we always took it. Let's don't wait Right, it's down

But the question to you is if if like, obviously it's like... Well you're not going to answer Clarke's question. What was that? What was the picture? What was it? What was the picture? Well it was a picture of someone. Okay, you're right, okay. Sure, like a family photo maybe.

No, it was like a print. Oh, okay, yeah. It wasn't like it. It wasn't their family. Okay, right. But it just made me think like that was what they'd chose and you know, with these zoom background kind of things. If you could pick one thing to define you to put in your background, what would it be?

If you had to pick something that was define who you are. Yeah, like, well, like think about it. You're about to, you're about to, you're about to go on BBC News and it's like put something behind you that's like, you know, it's gonna say, it's gonna send out a clear message about what's going on here. If I'm gonna go on BBC News, I'd like to put my past behind me.

That'd be the first thing I'd like to put behind me. Because, yeah, you don't want it on display. You don't want to see it. I don't want it on display. Oh my God. Oh my God, imagine. What's he doing to that thermometer? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

Like a Bayer tapestry, oh God, oh, that makes me feel sick. Imagine a Bayer tapestry of your life and people can walk along it before they meet you. That's kind of a good kind of, that's kind of a bit like what? Facebook or Instagram might be actually for the use of today. That's a good kind of, that's kind of a bit like what? Facebook or Instagram might be actually for the use of today. You know, that's a good lesson.

You can scroll back through somebody's, because occasionally, I don't know if this ever happens to you, you don't really use Instagram, do you, a parry, you don't use it. I wouldn't know where to start. You wouldn't know where to start, no. But occasionally, you might wake up in the morning and overnight, the elves of Instagram have been,

and they have judiciously liked every photo of, say for example, your cat from the last three years. Just for example. They've just, for example, just for example. And it can be quite a creepy, creepy thing. But I guess that's what people do, isn't it? They go back, Instagram as well feels quite contained, isn't it, you know?

You know, you're not supposed to be uploading a photograph every day. If you were to go back through Facebook or Twitter or something like that, it would be impossible to sort of dredge through everything. I mean, the idea I like about it being the Bay of Tapestry is there's room for misinterpretation in the tapestries. Because it's only done by needlework.

Like when you look at the Bay of Tapestry, some of it's due to interpretation. Like what's going done by needlework. Like when you look at the Bay of Tapestry, some of it's due to interpretation, like what's going on there? She seems to have stumbled on a milk churn and he's doing that. And it's kind of like, yeah, yeah. I don't want to, I don't mean that in a room.

I don't mean that in a room. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noavory scene from your past was rendered in need of work, you might be able to pass it off as like, no, no, look, that was picking it up. Exactly, we could just assume, assume this is a time that Matthew scaled a large glass totem pole and sat on the top of it. We don't need to worry about. I don't know that, that's merely a poem,

an early design of a pogo stick that he was working on. Exactly, and then on the front. He was working on it, all right. The reason he's on that church roof is because he was doing a performance about the Great Flood or something. Move on. Can I ask where the Pogo stick went? Because it seems to have disappeared. We certainly went nowhere it goes.

The next one here is coughing up glass. That's a weird process. No, no, no. So we're a Pogo ghost. The next one here is coughing up glass, that's a weird pose. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you live in a house, it's one long hallway, and then a bed sit. Yes. And you'd be like, why just don't we ever make it into my bed sit? They get to the 20s, they're all white.

All white. They get into the period of my life, I like to call the roaring 20s. I'd build a fire exit into the hallway. Halfway through my roaring 20s to I'd build a fire exit into the hallway halfway through my roaring 20s to give people an option out. Straight out the roaring fire exit. But to talk about the picture that would sum you up, do you remember back in the day when poor old Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross made that a prank phone call to Andrew Sachs.

And they got fired. Oh, it's got a little bit of fun that went back fired on them. Exactly. It's very hard to judge Tony Voice when you're speaking out loud, isn't it? So the thing, because Russell Brandt, they're not to go on the news and have sort of, sort of not, you know, in the way that like,

no one really apologizes anymore. He was doing one of those. He was one of the early adopters of that stance. He was doing the kind of, yeah. I'm sorry for your video that it called. Not for the thing that I've actually done. Yeah, I'm sorry. If you felt I insulted you.

I'm sorry that there are some people who might have thought that that was offensive. I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry if you think me insulted you. I'm sorry that there are some people who might have thought that that was offensive. I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry if you think me sitting on a thermometer is in a probe. Actually I've raised a lot of money for the church, so shut him out. I mean, listen, speaking about things backfire. So he was in a sort of a plain room, but he'd framed a small picture and put it just above his head of Joseph Stalin.

And I thought that is very telling, to have to go on the news, to explain what you're doing. And I thought that's him basically saying, I mean, what's he saying really, that we're living in a Stalin society where you can't harass an old man as a form of entertainment. You can't even harass a man on the national airways these days. No, exactly. The British broadcaster's impression. The thumb coming down.

Yeah. Yeah, so is that your answer then to that? You put Stalin behind you? No, I would have a picture of Russell Brandt in front of a picture of Stalin. Oh! There we go. It's un-inceptioned it. I've been saying this basically. Ended as a tapestry. Yeah, absolutely. Render's a little, a little cross stitch just behind me. Yeah.

Oh, you're, you're, you're a little, you're a little cross stitch, of course. Yes, my rattle. Little cross stitch, little cross. Oh my god. And then you'd, you'd wrap over the top of a rock. Oh, so, bro. Joseph Stalin. You can do a reaction of Little Donkey. I mean, I don't think it's advised. I mean, put it this way. I think if you do it, it's going on your tapestry.

That's going on your permanent tapestry, Emma Fraser. I like that as a phrase. That's going on the tapestry. Oh my God, mate. That New Year's Eve party is definitely going on your tapestry, mate. It's quite a nice phrase. I was very embarrassed. It was permanently extra on my tapestry. So a better tapestry of one's life is pretty audacious of thing to put behind you when you go onto the news as an interview. Oh God.

I think anything that's to do with you, I think actually to a certain extent putting up photos, because I'm looking around my room now, I can see I've got photos up of my wedding day, very very happy day, one of the happiest days of my life. But it is quite strange to have photographs of your, is it quite strange to have photographs of yourself up in your bed? I tell you, well, wait, worse than this. I was on a Zoom chat recently.

It was a big Zoom as Zoom meeting with a bunch of other writers and producers. And I realized that I thought I'd framed it quite nice in front of the bookshelf, you know, normally framed it in front of the bookshelf for a meeting, so people know that my wife reads. So I framed it in front of the bookshelf there, but what I didn't realise was in the corner of the frame, I've still got some bunting hanging up from my birthday, which is then bunting again that Charlie made for me, of a variety of little faces hanging with party hats on, but every face is my face.

Love that. I didn't notice until somebody else in the Zoom chat texted me to say, love the bunting, by the way. And I just had to chieftely, very subtly adjust my laptop on my lap just never so much. I said you just frame out the bunting because, I think you can get the tapestry in. We're in lockdown, no one's seeing the house,

the inside of the house, you're allowed to have bunting your own face. As soon as I'm going to have guest round, that's coming back down. Here's the danger, I think, of choosing a photo of yourself as your background for when you're doing that. Is it gives people a chance to compare how you've fared since the photo was taken

because I think everyone tends to look amazing on their wedding day or looks like a really good version of themselves. Yes, absolutely. So like, if you go for your wedding photo, people are going to be like bloody Ali, he started eating after the wedding or he hasn't stopped eating after the wedding. Or he hasn't stopped eating, simply. Yeah. Whatever. Well, I'm slice of wedding cake and moments.

A moment on the list. I'm lifetime on the hour. You know, you kind of squeezed into your best suit. You've kind of slimmed down for a few weeks. And that's your wedding photo, the sun shining. And then they're looking at you in your, you know, in front of your bunting and they're like, you've not been outside for three months.

That was the best, he's gone down 11 since. That's the risk. Absolutely, that's the other thing as well is, if you're putting up a photo of your wedding day, it's very loaded, isn't it? It's very much like the politician. Sorry guys, I'm taken. Yeah.

Ah. Reeling with me. Sorry guys, I'm married to Joseph Sterling. Or at least the idea of him. But the thing of, what do we all know? We all know. There. No, I think the thing is, it's a bit like when the politician comes out in front of their

house with the wife, with the children, to apologise for the sex scandal, isn't it? If you've got a picture of your wedding day up, it's a bit like you're sort of trying overly hard to say, I am an honorable man. I am in a heteronormative, married relationship. And it's like, it's basically, I'm straight. It's even worse if you go for it. Yeah, it's worse. You go for a fight with your wedding night. Woo! Baby.

Yeah, please take those photos down top. It's just me passed out. Yeah, that's weird. It's a good answer. The most wedding nights tend to be. Okay, so we're ruling out. So if you've got a clock, it doesn't necessarily have to be a photo, it could just be an object. That's the thing.

It could just be a, it could be just something you own that like you have there, you know, like that's gonna be like, that's gonna project the kind of person you are. I tell you what, good to me the other day, I was having like a clear out of my war droves, and I was realizing like, if I died and someone had to come around my house to kind of clear my stuff,

they'd be going through my clothes. I own so many sporting items. I own like... I thought you were gonna say yellow t-shirts, because you know. Do you have types? I have yellow t-shirts. How many do you reckon you've got of those?

50. It's all I can do. I recently had a call, so I'm down to about 25 now. I did like half my yellow t-shirts. Oh, okay okay, right. Yeah. But it's still too many LIT shirts. But then I've got like a whole wardrobe dedicated

to sportswear that make it look like I am a sporty person. Like far more sporty. Like if someone were to clear out up I would have been like bloody Oh, this guy was this guy did a lot of sports But like I don't I just do a lot of buying of sports stuff that this guy likes to be comfortable is basically what? That's that's that's the that's the real that's the real reason why you've got a lot of sports kids in it This guy likes to relax around the house wearing I don't know Do you know I'd say that would be be if I had seven bean bags or something.

LAUGHTER Yeah, to be fair, you're... Someone goes, yeah. It's cricket pads. They're not exactly, you know? Yeah, I'm hungover to fucks it out. I'm just going to eat hard and dars and put my cricket pads on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you pop the box in, if you couldn't open one of the rooms and be like, God, no, don't worry, that's beanbags in there. Which incidentally is one of those things when you were a kid of like, when I grow up, one of my rooms, or beanbags. I wanted to have a ball pool in a room. I thought, there's no reason why I couldn't have a ball pool. You know, you open a door, diving, it's a ball pool. Because we had to wear beanbags and you led with the word ball. I thought it's a bull. Because we had to have been bags and you led with the word ball. I thought you were going to say that when you grew up you wanted a ball bag. Yeah, open to what age were you just holding them? I tell you what, when I grew up when I'm sort of 30 I want to be swimming in ball bags, man. I want it to be ball bags as far as the I can see.

This is why he's got a picture of his wedding up soon. I tell you what, that's a ball of moot there, that literally, that's why I said, I'm a bit like, imagine doing your interview on BBC News, setting a ball pool, oh dear, something's gone wrong there. For a photo of your wedding day, ball pool. What is this guy?

Why is he on the news? I mean, he looks like he's a lot of fun. Well, I think we know about him. He's a lot of fun. We bought a ball pool recently. We bought a padding pool and filled it with balls for little Clio. And she doesn't love it as much as I do.

Well, I don't, yeah, I was about to go with that. I was about to say I don't think ball pools are actually, I find them quite inherently quite stressful experience. When was the last time you were in a ball pool? Well, one of his rooms was a ball pool, of course. My mum and dad used to live next door to a ball pool basically, so we were in there all the time. Right.

I had a lot of ball pool access growing up. And you've got sort of like, did you have like a kind of, you know, like the, like the, the kids and the safety adverts in the grain silo? Did you have a situation where you dive into a ball pool, it was deeper than you realised and you disappeared. Well that's what I mean is like, when you're a, when you're a little kid, that, you know, I don't know if you've ever been to a go kids go, but like, they've got some deep ball pools in there. Yeah. You know, when you're a kid, I mean like, when you're a little kid, you get in there and it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

that moment when you can't, you've lost, listen to D-I-M, I am acting you know. It's, you're not gonna drown at a ball for you. You say that, but you know, it's playful quicksand to a child. It really is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it starts. It's worse than quicksand because it's deceptive.

It seems like it's gonna be fun. And then suddenly you're sinking under and the last thing you see is. Yeah, there you go. It starts. It's worse than Quick Sound because it's deceptive. It seems like it's gonna be fun. And then suddenly you're sinking under and the last thing you see is that hand, that little kid's hand, wave, and then disappears, I don't think. Just gone. Just gone. My kid's gonna go into a ball pool with arm bands. Yeah, I don't think anyone's gonna pick on them for that.

Arm bands rubber ring in you go. Pop them on a lilo, pop them on top of the ball pool. They can just, it was chimmy themselves around. Well, of around well of course with you top that have a rubber rig around that neck Yeah, yeah, of course. That's it the perfect invention Scoobage here in you go stay safe So literally you got you've got it you've got to stay safe in a ball pool. I've had a good idea that yes Go on. What? Oh, yeah, go on show everyone you're a bit fun. If you win the lottery and you buy a big house, build a moat around your house,

fill it as a ball pool. Oh, that is good actually. Ball pool moat. Not bad. I love almost everything about that, as with all of your ideas. I love it at your point. However, but the point is a pretty big point.

The thing with a moat, now, the thing with a moat or any kind of outside water is that it can go stagnant, it can fill up with staff, you know, when it rains. With a moat, it doesn't matter if it rains, but with a ball pool, you know, like leaves are going to get underneath it, you're going to get a fine layer of foxes. There's a fox lunge. There's a, yeah. It's gonna be a fox and not just a fox, but the fox is taking the shit in your ball pull.

You're gonna, you're gonna go. Sorry mate. Hey, you're gonna say, hey, you don't want to break it, but in your hypothetical ball pull, it's a lousy with fox shit. I mean, that's a scene that he's going on to the tapestry, isn't it?

You wake up. You jump out your bedroom window into your mouth straight into a family of foxes and their shit. You know that is the last picture of your tapestry at four o'clock. He died as he lived. Drowning in balls and fox shit. You know, what was the name of that bloke?

The lotto louts. You know, when the newspapers were that bloke, the Lotto Lout. You know, when the news papers were furious, that a member of the working class was... The Lotto, what are they thinking? They're normally quite good on that. They don't get hot on that kind of stuff. But when the Lotto Lout, the working class is one the lottery, they were furious

that he spent it on whatever, you know, Burberry, Jackets and Pipples. But I think the same thing would happen if you won the lottery, you know, not the lotto, not the lotto out, more like the lotto twat, you know, that would be there. I would be there. To lottery, yeah. To lottery.

To win the lottery. I think that's good actually, yeah. Clark, yeah, I backed that, yeah. Guess who's won the lottery? And a big picture of you standing by, and it'll be like a list, you know, we want those angry, daily backed that, yes, guess who's one of the twattery? And a big picture of you standing by, and it'll be like a list, you know, we want those angry, daily male things, where the pull out quote will be a list of the things

you've bought, and it'll be, he commissioned the tapestry of his own, obey a tapestry of his own life. He's constantly being followed around by a team of tapestry weavers. Yep, he bought a bunch of foxes and, and he built, yeah, you're a fa a fool to yourself mate. You bought the foxes You bought the foxes and you said have added foxes. Yeah, I mean, I'm playing the

Have a poppin sportswear. It's like sure I've got foxes in my mouth, but they're my foxes You know they keep out the other foxes sure they are foxes and they shit everywhere, but that's my fox shit You know yeah, yeah, they that you dress them up like the foxes from Foxy Bingo, you let them round the house. They're pissing on everything. Yeah, it's bad. It's bad, yeah, it's bad. It's basically, it's bad, yeah.

He's put a lot of his money into a flotation device for the neck. It's just, you know, it's not, it's, it's a business that went under ironically. Just like he did when he drowned in his own, he drowned in his own foxy pool. So yeah, I, I, just, all I'm saying is, I think, you know, it's, you're better off as you are at the moment, you know, because I don't, I think, I think with you, with, with great power comes great responsibility. I'm with you, you know, money can't buy your love. Absolutely, and'm with you. Money can't buy your love.

Absolutely, and you've got a lot of love in your life. So, but how do I reflect that with what goes behind me when I go on the news? You can't do anything. I'm not going on the news as a lottery winner. No, you're not going on the news. That's how you start every interview. I just like to say, I don't want to be interviewed as a man who won £13 million of the lottery.

Please. Did you win? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. That's why I don't want to. No, what I want to. Don't think of me. But still go with the headline, Twattery, please.

I want you to interview me, but don't think of me. Okay, thank you. That would be quite a good thing to have as your background is like a really stern looking person. Well, like a long kitchen. Who like puts their hand on your shoulder every time it seems like you're going to say too much. So basically you want cross-boot behind you. Guys, I want you both to come with me basically. That's what I'm saying. There's a reason we do this as a team. Yeah, so the idea would be, it would be like a little figure. You wouldn't know again crossbeap exactly. You wouldn't cross this. You wouldn't realize it would just be like sweet little

fight. I'd be sat in a serving hatch, but you know because of the depth perception on the television, it would look like I'm just a framed photograph of myself And then suddenly you come to life Actually he doesn't have to answer that No more questions about the lottery, right? So that's what I don't have in my frame a lawyer. Yeah That would be so cool though That would look so cool if the frame that came to life. Or you just grab him and pull him back through the picture. Look, oh!

And the interview! Spent it all on balls the end. And then the our half video for take on me happens. I've dragged you into an alternative world that's all drawings. Love it. Love it. Love it. One of those living statues, less cool. Yeah. If you've got the guy who's dressed as Yoda sat on the stick and you can't work out

how he's done it. Is it you? Again it's me. Yeah. Sit on it. Sit on it. I'm just saying, you're going to be sad. You see how just sad, sad of all of it, sir. I'll tell you what, cross me, I'll tell you a quid. Roof needs new church, it does. Do or do not do, there is no try. Roof needs new church. You know when it gets things back to front, it's not like, it's not a matter of a sentence, not the actual,

not the actual object. Roof needs new church, it does. There's the episode title. I mean we've done so many fun bravers for the roof over the years, that's the only good bit of the church. It's more rooth than anything else now, it looks like a tea tea. That's the thing with church. Because he's always a new rift, never a new wall, so full wall. Oh, no, yeah. How do they make bread with no wheat in? How do they make bread with no wheat in? Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes.

Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's nonstop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th. Could you do it? Oh, there we go.

No, go on, go on. There you go. You could do a church that's all roof. You know, like a bit like a glass tent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a glass tent, yeah, yeah. We all know about a glass hat tent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a glass tent, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know about a glass tent. So, Perry, all right, if it's all roof,

if it's all roof, how do people get into it? Um, sliding doors. Down the chimney. Wait, sorry, wait, but where are the sliding doors on the side of the roof? On a slant. On a slant. On a slant. The film slush. On a slush.

On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush.

On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush.

On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. On a slush. Oh man, we just created a weird film. I mean, yeah, we have, yeah. You know, you can have a hatch. You can have a hatch on a roof. Don't mind it.

You can have a hatch on a roof. Do you run, man? I think it's like an A-frame house. Here we go. Come on. Yeah. And that way then then people can look in No churches have windows and church roofs traditionally don't is there a reason why we don't all have glass roofs on our hazes Because like that would be cool, right? You know like cars that have sun

Well, it's smash all the time wouldn't it would would that would be broken they've broken all the time they I had a skylight strong enough glass big glass I had a skylight in one of the I'm sorry sorry we just did it check Thomas suggested I it's not often used as scientific term Tom suggested big glass so actually I do stand corrected there sorry Sorry, yeah, if they use big glass, of course. Sorry, Clarky to interrupt you, but I thought it was important that we, we, we, we, just to guess any of the listeners missed that.

In case anyone's thinking, I wouldn't, would it break? No, it wouldn't, because we are using big glass. Anyway, sorry, back on me, go. You know, big farmer, big drugs. Let's get big glass involved, okay? Let, leave the farmer out of it, okay, he's a good man. He's just on the large side, that's a lot of stuff.

It's a great giant, it's not his fault, he decided to build an entire farmhouse out of glass. Protect it with a motor made of balls. Sorry Clark, what were you saying, aren't we interrupted you there? Yeah, I've had a couple of skylights So they get they get very grubby yet they do with what you do They steam up a lot you know That's true actually that's a grubby skylight. Why do you want a glass roof? Is it what do you think you're gonna light? The sky how to insulate how to insulate as well. Going to bed under the stars.

Come on. It's only hard to insulate if you're using small glass. Yes, that's a very, very good one. We've got big glass. Of course, big glass is self insulating. It's 2020. You're telling me we can't have a warm glass roof. Yes.

It is. I mean, come on. Well, you know, it's 2020. The glass ceiling will get broken finally. I mean, come on. Well, you know, it's 2020, the glassy-like... Will it get broken, finally? The worst bit about living in the house with you, Parry, is the mornings you decide to go up on the warm glass roof and have a sunroof.

No one wants to be there. Try to eat their cereal. Thanks for breakfast, anyone. LAUGHTER Oh, why did he have to build a bug the lower all over? Look at this. This is the worst church in the district. Don't raise your eyes to the Lord. We're actually now perched on top of Krasnoy. We're now trying to, we're not trying to raise enough money to destroy the church, Ruth. Please give generously.

Please throw stones. So you'd like to live basically, you'd like to live in a greenhouse? I just think that if everyone gets very, very hot in there, you... Everyone takes a big step backwards for a second and reevaluates the way shit's gone down Then I think we go glass roofs soft cars Gentlemen like it's just wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait that doesn't get Wait you know what I mean soft cars Yeah, why do you want a soft car?

It just said that it makes a shit load of sense doesn't it? What point did like you think you're driving around in cars People lose their mind when you get bumped up against each other. It's like I'll know you've scratched my car It's like why why is it scratcher? Why isn't it soft? You know I called Mr. Soft old Mr. Soft It's like yeah, he was a man made out of tree boomans Yeah, so I'm gonna okay, so I'm gonna say Tom, Tom, Tom. So you're driving along again, again. Soft car. In your soft car, going, I can't wait to get back

to my big glass house. And great. And suddenly, it starts to rain, you think. Oh, brilliant. I can't wait to watch the rain storm, it from my big glass roof. I lie on my- I'll lie on my rain storms.

Yeah, I lie on my roof and I'll watch the rain coming down and it'll be glorious. I'll play some sad music and I have a my way. I lie on my rainstorms. Yeah, I lie on my roof and I'll watch the rain coming down. It'll be glorious. I'll play some sad music and I have a wonderful time. But as you're doing the exactly, you're going to play Suzan, you're going to have a wonderful time. And then as soon as the first few drops start to hit your car, the car starts to dissolve. Now you're on the motorway, mate.

You're on the motorway. OK, you are you're doing 70, right? Can you tell me why the world of which you live in your sister? Okay, listen, it's not a mint car, it's a soft car. You said it's like a misticate. What's it made out of? What's it made out of? Cadding, you know, like I hate to go back to my ball pool days,

but look, when you're jumping a ball pool. ball pool, you can have a rancid car. You can have a car as rancid as you're playing ball pool, mate. I tell you what soft-to-beard boy. I tell you what soft-mate, fuck shit. Why don't you make yourself a nice fuck-shit car, drive around to your greenhouse that you live in to other back of someone's garden

like abs from five. I'm sorry. He comes in. I don sorry. He recumbs it. I don't know. He recumbs it. His car which is essentially a sponge for a... A sponge for a rotten sponge. Something can be soft and waterproof.

Okay, so it doesn't have to be metal. Like it can be like a big old cushiony boy. And it's like... A cushion is not waterproof. If a cushion isn't waterproof, mate. It's like a big old cushiony boy and it's like cushion is not waterproof. If a cushion isn't waterproof mate. It's like a tent. Ever heard of rubber? Don't mind it.

Anyone built a rubber car these days? It's very blowing minds. The bits of a car are rubber. They must have thought how much of this. The bits? What the tires? Well, the bump-poss. So what are you saying?

I'll have metal tires. Men on wheels. They won't wear out. Mint chassis and metal wheels. The second you leave the fork or the sparks going to hit your car, it's going to melt around you. It's going to be like fucking house of wax. You're going to be sealed into a scuba diver's kit.

You can't leave. I'll tell you what, I told you to be fair. You can't look. He'll tell you what, I told, to be fair, you car looks mint-mate. He's been waiting for that. That's been a couple of minutes coming. LAUGHTER I think your car looks rubberish. And it's okay.

Yeah, it's not great. It's not great. It's a bit of a fox-tired car, that one, it really is. But it went by so fast, you hardly noticed it. Just the lingering smell. The old fox turd mode. So that's what I'm gonna have to eye me on the news is a picture of my rubber car. It's a picture of you.

Some of us have tried to make a soft car at some point. One of those weird fetish people who, you know, look a furry car with a tail on it. No, no, no, no, like a people are into, people are into, no, I mean, I say weird, so I shouldn't kink shame, that's very poor form of me. But you know the kind of people that sort of get themselves into, into rubber outfits and like inflate bits of it

and you know, that kind of thing. I bet those kind of people have, have built themselves a small rubber car to jerk off in. So, I don't know why it has to be porn, I'd have a soft car. have built themselves a small rubber cart at your coffin. LAUGHTER I don't know why it has to be porn, I'd have a soft car. Rubber is porn, eh, man? Rubber's porn. You nudge up against each other, and it's like, it's no bother.

Oh, hello. You're just nudgeing the rubber. You're just nudgeing the rubber against each other. You just get your latex cars, and you just rub up against each other. Don't make this all David Cronenberg, I'm making it road safe. You don't park at a car park late at night, right? This is green in your soft car. It's not 50 shades, it's green cross-coated.

It's your soft car and then everyone can just climb on top of it and fuuuuck. See, this is... It's a lovely mountain. It's a lovely mountain car to fuck on top of, but it's a terrible car to drive down the motorway on. This feels like 70s America and you're like the waspish guys being like, no, we need to protect our petrol and our oil and our metal. And I'm coming along and I'm saying soft cars, bro. Glass ruseo. And then we all fuck each other and you guys are like, oh, suddenly I'm a pervert.

Yeah, you are a pervert. You're trying to get into your rubber car so you can have your way with me. I don't want it, thank you very much. Oh, because you're a married man, with your, yeah, we've all seen the photo of your engagement. That's not the main reason, but yes, that is one of the key reasons, yeah.

We've seen your wedding photo and the weird thing about that is both of the people in that photo have got your faces on them. It's weird, mate, it's weird. It's the fact that I made a rubber mask for my wife to wear on our wedding day. And I made another rubber mask of my own face

that I also wore. So no one knew which one was which. The mission impossible wedding. Ving Rams was there. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. If you see Ving knocking about, you know, it's alright.

I'd love to have thing rams at my wedding. Yeah, it would have been good, wouldn't it? Imagine people being like, is that thing rams at the bar? You'd be like, yeah, he's come along. Yeah, he's come along with it. He's come along with it. And you know what? You know what?

He's actually, you're not gonna believe how he got here. He got her in a car made entirely out of rubber. I tell you what, he's the face of soft cars for me. Can I ask you what? That's going on the tapestry, that is. Big rams at the wedding. Big old bobe. You know what? In terms of celebrity endorsement, you know, like what's going to push this product past

cynical mid-America? Vingrams are do it. I'll show you what, you know what? You can have the exchanging of the rings and the arriving of the Vings. Two different, you see that? Because you look, you know when you go to a wedding and you're looking at the order of service and you're thinking,

oh, fuck, you're long this is gonna take. You go, what are the good bits? Getting to sing a song, that's always a bit of fun. You know, maybe the readings, you know, someone's gonna do a nice reading, but if you know Ving Rams, it's gonna show up. There's, okay. I mean, I've got a great idea for a business.

It's called Wedding Things. We hire out Ving Rams. And other people called Ving, two Weddings. Did you read the small print there? See what I did there? Yeah. I did a big cool thing. Did I get away with it? No.

We offer the services of Vingrams or other people called Ving to your wedding for a price. We cannot state who you will get but they'll arrive on the day. Could be Vingrams, could be someone else called Vingrams, but they will be there. Always saying it's a cool price. First call for a price. It's going to be changing his name to Ving. Is that why he's on the news? I tell you what though, there's a nice ring to Ving Crosby. Yeah, there is actually, I wonder why.

You know what it is, Ving Crosby really works. But yes, that's our business. So if you want in, you know, PO Box is always. So I'm not going to have to win the lottery to buy my moat. That's what I wanted to say to you guys. I'm not, I'm no lotto-lato. I'm an entrepreneur, I've got my glass roofs, I've got my soft cars, I've got my wedding things.

That fuck shit baby is going to buy itself. You're going to buy a Fox shit baby. My favorite music album. Clarkey what have you got behind you when you go on the news? Come on. Give it a good old British go. No it's tricky like a picture tricky. You're a big trip up fan aren't you? I know you've got a bit of the... Of course. The viewer can't see this, but Clarke has actually got a giant poster of the album,

Porti said, dummy by Porti said, he's got it behind him. He loves that whole Bristol trip up scene. He loves that Max and Cray album. Who doesn't? Of course. So yes, go on. He loves that Max and Cray album. Who doesn't? Of course. So yes, go on. Well, I don't know.

Like, at the moment when I do Zoom calls that aren't these, I mean, my coffee table. What hang on, you do other Zoom calls? I don't know, yeah. Bloody hell. But it's not the exact same. It's just a bunch of other podcasts. But... You do it with bunting with my face behind you, don't you?

Yes, a little reminder. Of course. Solidarity, brother. I've got bookshelves, classic, but they're not particularly good ones. They're not full of good literary works. They're mostly full of like joke books. They're mostly full of joke books that I got bought as a wanted, Chris was president. It'd be quite funny to take all the books off

and just have a book that's like a good, you know what I mean? Or just all the same book. Yeah, there you go. You buy like 82 copies of, I don't know, like Alan Sugar's autobiography or something. I mean, that's, again, very loaded, isn't it? You know, it's very loaded to say, I'm just gonna have a couple of hours.

It makes it seem like you're like, I'm a pretty good businessman, guys. I'm really. Let me talk to you about soft cars. Okay. You're hired. He moved from software to soft cars. It was a lateral move for Lord Sugar.

Has bleeding. What would you say to Bro? How's it going to be? Probably nothing at all. I was going to ask you a question about rubber cars before we get to Kalki's answer about his bookshelf. Please do. So you say like... You can interview me but please don't think about it. I really do, Parry. So you say you're driving along in your soft car and you bump up against another soft car. Okay.

Now, it's fine. It's, it's, it's rubbing. Ooh. No one's getting out of the car. No one's exchanging details. Just a little nod in the wink. No, they're fused into it because it's a hot day. No, man.

Where are you going? Yeah. You're going to, okay. Off we go. So they, No, man. Where are you going? Yeah. Okay. Off we go. So they... It's you drive, I don't need to. You know, if you talk...

A typical rubber that you or I might use, the eraser. Oh, you're good. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. That's not... That's not to be blizzed. Come on, we've managed this far without saying anything disgusting. So...

Let's keep this a family episode. If you, like, if you, you know, use an eraser, eventually it wears away, okay? It rubs down. So this is going to be the same thing. If you get enough prangs in your car, eventually, your car's going to be worn down to nothing. You're going to, you know, wake up one morning and think,

I haven't got a front to my car anymore. You're going to be driving, you know, facing the elements. Yeah, but eventually, right? So then you go online, you click and you order a new rubber front bit please, and like there's loads of little panels. So you go, I need panel 67, please.

And they send it in, you click it out, you click it in, good as new. And what's the, but that's kind of like saying that's what you could do with a metal one. Yeah, but your rubber is not gonna, it's not gonna happen like it happens with metal. It's not gonna get scratches or dents.

It's rubber, rubber, baby. It's rubber, it's solid rubber. Is that not very expensive? Big rubber, we're dealing with. With big rubber. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I should have said that. It's the window, it's the window big glass as well. Other windows big glass. Well, probably, yeah sorry I should have said that. It's the window is the window big glass as well

the windows big glass. Yeah well probably yeah I mean I was gonna say it might just force image of how far the car in front of you is away. If you say why it's not a magnified glass. Yeah big glass tends to magnify doesn't it? It's all it's all with it's all roof apart from the rubber. Hang on if big glass does magnify then we've got an issue here because once the sun's above my house, yeah, that's going to burn. Although at least you will be impressing your neighbours. That guy's low. That guy's low.

He looks like a big farmer, but. That guy's boy is absolutely massive. Unfortunately, it's on fire. Sorry, Clark. You once again, I interrupted you and didn't let you tell us what you're going to put on your book. Yeah, because Cosby's going for a wedding photo of him getting married to himself. I was going to go for a photo of me. Well, I think I'm going to stick Russell Brand on the news, but yeah, also a photo of me. Russell Brand on the news, but also a photo of me. Me and Ving Rums. I'm shaking hands with Ving Rums.

You're shaking hands with yourself. Yes. You're living my dream. Exactly. Both my two dreams to be on the news. I know you've always wanted it. To be on the news. To shake hands with yourself. And your third dream to not be thought about.

Yeah, it's a big three. The big three. No, so how you got the third. No, mine's going to be, Fingram's dressed as my lawyer, as if he's a painting, and then it's going to come forward at the end of the same no. We crack that. Yeah, of course. Clarky.

So, Clarky, what, what, what, what, what you're going to proper? I think I'm going to go with a wall of photographs that are all and Alan's sugar. Lovely. Yes, really, really good, really, really good. Really sharp, like business, now. Bit of a kick in the stones when you die,

Bessik's watching, but sure. Would it be funny if you had one, you've had like, sorry, sorry, sorry, cross me on the... No, no, no, no. Always nice, always nice to be shivered. Always nice to be, you know, keeps you humble, doesn't it?

Keeps you humble. A vocal shiver. The vocal shivering, it's always, keeps, it keeps you humble because you think, you know, I'm having a good, I'm having a good show this one actually. I feel like I'm having a good show. You know, it's been a nice bit of back and forth, nice bit of bat and a large.

Sure, I interrupt you quite a few times, but I apologise both times, so I'm learning. And then I do my Alan Sugarjaken. Oh! Oh! I was just a mate. You're diabetic, humour might work on your other podcast, but on this one. I've gotten where I was, actually, yeah, very, very good point.

What about if it's loads of pictures of Alan Sugar, but one of them is you dressed as Alan Sugar. Just keep it interesting for people. Oh, I like that. Oh, is it like a wall of photos where it's like Alan Sugar top left, me bottom right, and they gradually kind of morphed in those along. And then by the end of the interview, it's Alan Sugar giving the interview and not you.

Yeah. You like Darren Browne, you like go, oh, I've just dropped my pen. You go down and then Alan Sugar comes up and goes, no further questions, Your Honor. Oh, that leaves. That's really good. His favours catch me with it.

Well, that's what thing Ramsey's going to say at the end of my interview. So I think we all need to end our interview with nothing. No, fix Ram say at the end of my interview. So I think we all need to end our interview. No, the big Rams at the end of your interview says you fight. Wedding things is losing money hand over face mate. I'm sacking you. And I, of course, say this is going on the tapestry. Shake hands with myself.

No, I tell you what would be good, right? Now, here's how you do it, right? So when they cut to you, Clarky, right? They cut to you, and it's the typical scene. We all know now from watching the news of the person in their flat doing the zoom chat. You're sat there in front of your microphone, you've got your headphones in,

but what people don't realize is that it is a cardboard cutout of you, right? They can't tell again, because the depth perception, big cardboard. Big, big, big, it's gotta be a big cardboard. It's gonna be anything. It's gonna be anything, Pary, thank you.

It's gotta be a big cardboard. And then there's a framed photo of Alan Sugar behind you. They say, okay, so we've got, we go over to Ben Clark now. Ben can you hear us? Nothing. Okay they assume it's a satellite delay. Sorry having a bit of difficulty there getting Mr. Clark there Ben are you there and then out of the photo you appear because you dress as Alan Sugar in the photo you say no

further questions you switch us do him off. Bosh, the end. That's going to be an amazing moment. That's going to be an amazing moment. Is it going to be even more amazing if just before you switch to zoom off, he pulls a rubber mask off, he's Vingrams and he says, by crossbees, bunting. I think it is. Yeah, I think it is. I think if we're looking to blow people's minds in a guy-goma fashion, I think we found it.

How's BD? I live in a house made of iron sheets. How's BD? Well, there you go. Much ground covered. Ideas are plenty there. Surely ones got a stick. Yeah.

You'd hope so, wouldn't you? You know, you throw enough shit at a podcast. I'm excited. We have. We really do. You throw a fuck shit into a podcast. Some things that are. We have. We really do. We really have. You throw a fuck shit into a ball pool and something's gonna go off. Um, please, if you enjoyed the podcast, feel free to leave a review on iTunes or just

recommend it to a friend if you think it's something that they're enjoying. Definitely. Um, please join us on the Patreon as we said, for five dollars you get a ton more content. We're always jabbering away. So please do. You know what, I couldn't put it better myself, we are constantly jabbering away Tom and not only that but recording it and putting it out.

Absolutely, shamelessly so. We've got a live recording tomorrow night as we set up the top so please do get tickets, go to our twitter to find details for that Otherwise today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham Thanks for joining us guys cheers everyone Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Will you please be upstanding for this week's neighborhood watch, Patreon roll call? Oh, on the seventh day the evening of our Lord, he turned round and he heard, turned into a hamster, and he was hurting. Oh, no. Here endeth the lesson, as taught by Matthew, amster, but an ooooh.

On the seventh day, she turned around, and she flicks the light switch, and everything went dark. Here endeth the lesson of Sophie, claaard, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul.

Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Oh, God bless her soul. Please forgive her for her rage. On the 13th day, he took a big shit on the carpet and started telling us about his fears. Oh, one of my fears is someone shitting on my carpet. So it was a real, really, a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh I believe it is Wednesday. Oh it was a Wednesday, yes you remember correctly. He was watching an old episode of Blue Peter. Oh no, I think it was one that starred Valerie Singleton.

It's a lovely reference. It's a gorgeous reference. Beautiful reference. And one that all the teenagers will enjoy. Yes, it's right. The person watching Valerie Singleton was of course Michael, England, England, England. England, England, England, the lesson don't you know

Paul did go back into that lesson, that would send a thin Oh the 5,000 stay Oh the 5, I think. It was a Saturday, I think. We don't want to have a week. How good friend was doing. What was he doing? Oh, I'm sorry. He was a coffee do-a-get, because that was right. No, he can't.

How good friend, of course, is a drahama. He's a drahama. Thank God you went for that. Drahama, also down with the kids. Well, of course, it's you went for that. Bra-hubber, also down with the kids. Well, of course, it's Andrew Pluh piss on the carpet. Oh! At next to the shit. And then he named all of his bones. Ha ha ha ha ha!

It was a truly upsetting affair. He said this is my clavicle. Its name's Joshua. You know who was doing, oh, and this is my new bone. Its name is Lou. His joes. Oh name is Louis Joss. Oh, they're in the lesson. Oh, they're in the lesson.

They're in the lesson. Oh, Lord, of the three millions day, yeah. I think it was a Thursday. Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday. It was a Thursday. Yeah, Thursday, Thursday. Can I ask a quick question? Of course you can.

Between this lesson and the last lesson, do we have break time? We did, I had some milk because I'm the monitor. Oh no! Anyway, sorry to interrupt. Please, please, anytime. It's always important if you have a question. Remember there are no such things as bad questions. Have you got double science on Friday? What an absolute bummer.

Oh, and I'm going to be having it with Andrew Plummer. Double The drummer Andrew Plummer. The drummer Andrew Plummer. Who's also the double science teacher. Oh, yeah. He also teaches philosophy teachers. Oh, Andrew Plummer, you've had enough.

He's any $5 Patreon as well. He's really getting each, oh Andrew Plum, you've had enough. He's only a $5 Patreon as well. He's really getting his electric treat. It's the last week of term. Can we watch a film? Let's put on Dama. And Dama. Oh. Oh.

This fellow. Oh, yes. He was in double maths. Oh, no, not double maths. What a wonder. What a wonder. Yes. He turned off the lights.

He turned the back on again. Then he turned around. Then he named him. He turned off the lights. He turned what a wood. Yes, he turned off he turned off the light He turned the back on again then he turned around then he named all of his shoes He said this is a done love green flash. I call this one Gregory This is a done love green flash. She's a broke and I call it Sharon, and this is an Espadrill that I call Jimmy. He named all of his shoes, his name was Rory Hughes. Here I am.

Rory Hughes, here I am. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes. The lesson of the boy who named his shoes.

His crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoe. The crock is our shoes. The crackers are shoes. The courtship. It was courtship. That's why I thought it was. Just got time for one more lesson.

Oh, one more lesson. The hero put the lesson. The hero put the lesson. The hero put the lesson. The pronunciator lesson has comments. Oh, well, a bit of a list. Chrissie, who is taking this lesson. This a bit of a list. Chris, you're about to be taking this lesson. This guy has bought a soul. I love the gifts.

Thank you very much. I hope you named them all. It was best you Smith. And you know what reader he did. Name them all here and at the lesson oh oh well go in faith to love and serve your shoes and name your bones and have a good time I don't want nobody else to piss on our flying I don't need nobody else and it's true and it's true, she's lying and she protects her

eight no doubt is plain to see well woman like in the market for me well that's the Jimmy Nail in this lesson Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey everyone! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE poor things. In so-like theaters, December 15th.