Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (You don't stilt up to the moat) S11E39

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Today Pappy's choose to take stilt walkers down a peg or two.Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to an episode of Pappy's Flat Share House Meeting. House Meeting. House Meeting. The sounds of our voice ricocheting through your ear canal to your brain to bring you the words that we're saying. And that's science. That that's science. That's true science. It's slightly more confusing than all the information we've given them already that you're listening to this. But sure, don't blow your mind.

Right. We will never know if what we sound like to ourselves is what we sound like to listen to dear because everyone's ear canals are unique and therefore we have no way of knowing if this is what I sound like to listen to dear even while I sound like to you Matthew and Ben do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean I do know what you mean. I do know what you mean. That's a bit deep for the kid drawing it a little bit. It's just blowing my mind. Here's another one. What would happen if you got in a rocket

and just sort of just flew off the earth and just kept flying and flying? Like what's beyond the edges of it? Like what would happen? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I've got one for you. I've got one for you.

It up until about five minutes into this episode I just thought we're having a chat Yeah, I just thought we're just having like a I just thought we're having a pretty episode it was a relaxed slide in wasn't it? It was a very organic slide into the chat I like that though because it did it started as a chat and then suddenly boom house meeting in session. Yeah. It's great, but that's what this is.

It's always better than it happens that way round rather than the other way round where we start and then it quickly declines into nothing but a chat. I'm going to have to start again. This is just a chat now. Is that, is that something that the Dias would be interested in if we did start doing another podcast called This is Just a Chat? If they have a really good day and shit. I can highly recommend joining our Patreon. Because that is, no, that is more than just a chat. Oh, it is more than just a chat. We do need these. Oh, it is more than just a chat. These fantastic episodes of what's currently

being called flat share lockdown, that will probably change. But there's also bonus beefs from ourselves and our many guests we've had on Beef Brothers Coldcuts. There are loads of bonus audio clips, there's video, it's great stuff over there. And you can get it by going to patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flatshare, just four pounds a month.

And we have grown really comfortable. Yeah, we've grown really fond of those lockdown podcasts because it's all about interacting with emails from listener dear and obviously in beef brothers cold cuts we're always just solving beef, whereas lockdown's completely different. It's like we're having a conversation with our listeners. It's always, it's a really fun different version

of the stuff we usually put out on the main feed. So if you haven't yet checked it out, bung a couple of quid in, check it out for a month. If you think it's shit, you can get out again. Hey, do you have a man there to help with that? I don't know, come and give it a whirl and see what you think, four pounds. What would that get you in today's money? Less than a pint of beer, certainly around where we live, but why not?

Two flakens of cider, where I live, thank you very much. You live in a wonderful pastoral life now, Tom. Absolutely, where they have fun days where anyway we're getting to that in the main episode. So any order of business before we get into this crossbow? No I believe just to remind people of the Patreon, or to tell people as well we need more beefs by the way. So beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com, get in touch, send us your beefs, we need more beef for the cold

cuts. The beef shall us at empty. Restock them. Let's go into this house meeting, see if you can spot the point where Clarky realised that it wasn't just a chat. It's about the time I just start to look in. You freeze. Once you know we're recording.

Weep. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has beaten beaten beaten.

What temperature should we set the heat to? Has beaten beaten beaten. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has beaten beaten beaten beaten. What temperature should we set the heat? How's the heat? Be 10, be 10, be 10, be 10. Why on earth am I always waiting? How's the heat? Be 10, be 10, be 10. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? There's a half a half, be 10, be 10, be 10. What's the point? Does life have a medium?

How's the heat? I thought you were wearing a nightie when you first came in Clarky but it's all the same color, isn't it? Oh, yeah, it is, yeah. It's not a bad look for you, the Knights. It looked like fair play, that looked like a really comfy choice. When I was a kid, I had a Knighty. I wore a Knighty as a kid. I wore a Superman Knighty.

I don't know why I had it. And it wasn't like a big t-shirt, it was like long. It designs to be worn as like a sort of we willy- why I had it. And it wasn't like a big t-shirt, it was like long. It designs to be worn as like a, as like a sort of wee-witty winky-nip. It beneath, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like a Scrooge wee-witty winky. And it was, can I just ask,

do you have a wee-witty winky? You know what? He did back in the day. He did back in the day, yeah. But it's really kicked on the last few years. So we willy-wonkina. Yeah, and with a golden ticket, you can have entry to it. We willy-wonkina, but we willy-wonkina.

But I found that sleeping in a nighty, it would just ride up, so you'd wake up in the morning, and you'd effectively be wearing a crop top, because it would just bunch up around the armpits, and then nothing, you know, newed underneath. That's about, that's interesting. I was about to say, it's kind of a try. I'm very, it seems crazy to me that like, 90s aren't, you know, across the board, everyone can win, like 90s. No, everyone can win 90s, obviously. Everybody's free to win.

But 90s, Basel Omen to us. Exactly. But like, you know, it just feels like it's a triumph of design, just to be bowling around the house in a fucking 90. Well, you know what I'm so confident, you know you know what the dream I think for all of us is that in our later years we get to a sort of stature whereby a moomoo is acceptable yeah and that is you know the Marlon Brando you know rocks the moomoo towards the end of his life you know he

put on a tremendous amount of weight in his later years and just thought, I'm going for it, I'm gonna wear a Moo Moo. Comfort, and also, like, 2021, you're kind of go, if you rocked up to the Met Gala wearing a Moo, you'd probably be like fair playtimes to the table. You're gonna be, It's very true. I was thinking about,

I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that. I'm wearing me move to school. I'd everyone be like, yeah, you know, this child got banned from wearing a move to school outrage. It feels like, you know, it feels like you can do it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think that's right. I think the move is, because you know because there's this thing that isn't there, like women's clothing is more expensive, and there needs to be kind of like a quality across clothing. It's quite weird the sort of rules that there are for what. We are experiencing this now a parry with raising little kids of like, you know, the way they dress and what they wear starts to become kind of important and also signifiers.

But you know what, if we lean into it and say, look, 2021 into 2022 is going to be the year of the Mumu. Are we going to sell papi's Mumu's? Let's not get into the whole merch. 2020 Mumu. 2020 Mumu, I'm all about it. It's good stuff. You know? I think this is it, because a product lives and dies on its slogan. Everybody knows I'm loving it. Everybody knows just do it. Everybody knows a finger of fire

just enough to give your kids a treat. 20, so what is it? 2020, 2020 Moo. 2020 Moo. 2020 Mooomoo? 2020 Moomoo. 2020 Moomoo. Yeah. 2020 Moomoo. I think it's coming. I don't think I think we should, we should lead by example.

Like you know talking about the Met Gala, I imagine there's going to be lots more people now wearing their kind of role-mix over their faces, Kim Kardashian style, you know? That's gonna be... When did the Met Gala become a thing, right? Because as far as I'm concerned, about three or four days ago. LAUGHTER

When the Met Gala happened. Now, I think it's been a thing for a while, but it certainly feels like, maybe it's just not enough. Maybe it's one of those things where like it's quite a nice distraction. People are into things which are a big distraction nowadays. I've heard so much about this one and never really heard of it before. I don't think. Last couple of years, it's been on my radar, but I'm very fashion, you know, I've got my

thing, I've kind of followed the fashion world. That's it, that's it. Kind of my thing. You've got your finger on the mood, aren't you? It's a matter of time. I've got my finger on the moon. But like, it just, it felt like, I know. 10 years ago, I can't think of it being a thing.

Yeah. Oh yeah, I mean, who knows? I mean, I'm sure there'll be listeners who are, actually I don't know. I don't know what the crossover of like Met Gala and people who listen to Papi's flat share really is, but you know, I imagine there are people who follow fashion quite keenly and will go, no, you idiots. It's like saying, it's a bit like us going, how long have the Oscars been going? I feel like there's got quite a new thing. Yeah, exactly, that's it. Is that a new thing? Is that, you know, just a little Wolverine host, is that it?

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, definitely. There's a, yeah, the Met Garns probably been kicking around for about six years. What I wanted to know about the Met Garn, though, was when... How long has it been going? How long has it been going for? Obviously, we all want to know that.

I also, by the way, don't know what it is. To me, it's a staircase. Right? I don't know what happens beyond that staircase. It's one of those eternal ones, isn't it? It's an empty estuary, don't you? Yeah, yeah. It keeps going up.

It takes me year to get back on it. It takes me year to get get back to what I'd walked all the way back there. Love it. It's a log flu. It's a log flu for millionaires. But I don't know what happens at it, but also how, by the way, did they know

that it was Kim Kardashian in the outfit that everyone's saying is Kim Kardashian? If you don't know what it is, it's like she's, she arrived in like basically like an entirely black outfit with also her face covered in the same material and her hair was blown up. Is that the point though? Is the point that Kim Kardashian is so noble by her shape? Yeah, but I guess that's true, but did she have to say to somebody at the start, by the way, it's me, Kim Kardashian,

and then everyone goes, oh, it's Kim, Kim, and then all the paparazzi can start to snap in their cameras. Or did she rely on the famousness of her silhouette? I don't know what like, surely someone's got to go, or maybe she wore like a name badge for the first sort of three or four steps that she had just like chucked away

as soon as she's going to see. It was, it wasn't her. And in two weeks' time she'd be like, I wasn't there. That's what that would be. That would be the thing, wouldn't it? If it wasn't her and in two weeks time she'd be like I wasn't there. Yeah, that's what that would be the thing wouldn't it if it wasn't her They've got previous with that haven't they because on their Christmas card photos the last couple of years Kanye was wearing like a full Outfit like with a teddy bear hat on and stuff and it turns out it was like it wasn't Kanye. They were having troubles

All right, it doesn't like it wasn't Kanye, they were having troubles. All right. It doesn't, I'm like, I've got pre-sled. Yeah, like the bear hat from his early albums. That sort of vibe anyway. That's sort of what they do. Well, the other thing is, it's got a ring of that,

like five years ago, that was that like all in one, one's he think that was like 10 years ago. The morphs, you'd wear to the cricket on the last. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically just that, isn't it really? Yeah, like a later doctor. Just like a later doctor of the morph suit. Is she really going to the darts?

Is that what it is? Yeah, like anyone goes to the darts or day four of a test match at Edgeback. Would be like, big whoop, get me to the Met Gala. In fact, most people go into the darts. If you siphon them off towards the Met Gala, that's what the Met Gala. In fact, most people go into the darts. If you siphon them off towards the Met Gala, that's what the Met Gala is. The Met Gala is darts for posh people. Because if you go into the darts, it's pretty similar.

All it's lacking is a fucking staircase, but it could do with one. Like if you stuck paparazzi and like a red carpet staircase going into the darts. That's the kind of shit people would want to see in newspapers the next day. I'd love it. It'd be like, that's a really good idea. Larry from Hull has come dressed as a minion. He's been stuck on his mate, who's a smurf.

You'd be like, fucking, yes, please, I wanna see that. Well, they would a big staircase on the the way in kind of mean that half of the people actually make it. Well, I mean, they actually have that because it's Ali Ali Palais. It is anyone who's big. It's like, those London's biggest staircase. And yeah, me and Cross Me went to the dance together and it was what a nice one such such a honestly clocky you don't love it there's such like a communal love of a communal nice like such a communal love for the concept of the darts and it kind

of binds the whole evening together there's no like love for the concept of the darts and it kind of binds the whole evening together. There's no love for specific players. There's not even love for watching the game. It's just the concept of the darts. And it's like, you go to cute for the bar and you're behind someone else's piece and they go like, do you love the darts mate? And you go, love the darts.

And then you go, I love you man. And you both put your arms around each other. It's like, you're bound together by the love love the darts. And then you go, I love you, man. And you both put your arms around each other. It's like you're bound together by the love of the darts. And everyone just starts going like, stand up if you love the darts. Everyone's the same side. Everyone's like, and the darts. The sports should totally adopt that.

Like it shouldn't, if people were just going to the football going, who loves football, everyone loves football, it's like, like, it'd be so much more pleasurable. Yeah, I just take out the kind of supporting element of it. The competitive aspect of it, everyone is there to watch the dots,

because also the darts, by the way, isn't darts. It's not a stand up if you love darts, because fewer people stand up. It's, stand up if you love the concept of this whole event, which is the darts Yeah, it's it's if you love it's that if you love you know, we were on one of the tables and There's a I mean actually there. That's the only there's a class system That's the only could but it's a very it's a jolly class system Isn't it in that the people in the jolly class system isn't it? In the people in the... In the people in their seats,

sort of think that the people in the tables are hoity-toity and so they sort of shout down at those people and then the people at tables like get out their money and like wave it. It sounds crass, but I enjoyed doing it at the time. You can't afford a table. You can't afford a table. I was in the seat. Of course you were lucky. Can I have one seat please?

The darts. We didn't recognise you because you addressed it a fully black morph suit. Well here's the thing, that's what I was going to say. If football, they all wear more suits. So you don't know who's who. You just have, and then when you turn up, you just give an a colour. You're spotting blue, you're spotting red off you go. That's a good idea, actually. Yeah, so you'd say people wouldn't get into fights, blue versus red. If they've just turned up,

there's six points in, they turn up and go, today you're red, they're gonna find some of these balloons that give you an idea. You've seen people on the terraces turn into absolute lunatics, in like a really staggering way, kind of just constantly making the wanker sign for like,

you watch like a 68 year old man make the wanker sign for like 70 minutes solid. That's like, when it takes longer than you 68, doesn't it? It was a 40 year old boy, it would take about 30 seconds. And we like this guy during the week is a loving grandad, a caring father, he's a pillar of his community. But for 90 minutes on a Saturday, he will point to a family of four and make the wanker side at them

for the best part of an hour and 20 minutes. And not think twice about it. Oh, it's like that. It's like... You've got to ask the question, why have the family of four signs to Everton? That's the thing he does. I would say... That's a good point.

They just turned up. They were given the morphs suit, so... Yeah, well... I'll say this, and I don't know how this all play. Okay. But... Clark and I were in Wembley on the day of the England Germany game in the U-Rose,

wearing the one. Your knees were getting trembling. When the German crying girly on the day of the England Germany game in the U-Rose wearing the one. Your knees were getting trembling. When the German crying girl came on the screen, I was all enchered. It was really funny because we were all in the ground and it just happened and it was really funny. Now obviously the next day a nation shame and of course I understood that reaction but I also know that in the moment when it happened, it was really funny. And that's the difference between being in the ground and it's terrible.

I'm not like defending it, but I do know both of those things are true. Next day, a nation show like, we didn't, don't get as wrong, we didn't boo the anthem. Like, we're not like, we're not monsters. But we didn't, you know, it was just in that moment, everyone collectively decided to cheer the site of a crying girl. And it was very funny. And obviously next day a nation shame. And I understand that, but I also understand at the time,

something, something just clicked I guess. Yeah, it was, I had that discussion with Megan when I got home and she was like, oh, that was so sad. And I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, can we misjudge that? It was quite funny at the time. She was like, no. It was quite funny. It was and like it's bad but it's funny. That's why it's funny. There is also a human there's a very human reaction to you know like I was explaining I mean again this this story doesn't cover me in glory.

It's covering me in glory. By the way, last time it was shitting in the sea. This time it's laughing at the pain of a poor girl. Are you trying to cancel yourself? Do you just need a break? I had only one message came back from the shitting in the sea episode that said, you are going to get so many terrible reactions to this. And then I didn't get any others, but like...

Yeah, but you've not checked the email. The threats to Tom. You don't... You don't know his email. The email is email. I'm talking about... You've got one on Twitter. Oh, in the intro outro to this, it's it's gonna be wall-to-wall complaints.

A porpoise got in touch. Absolutely livid. Epic Rick. Anyway, yeah, like I was we went to an event the other day that I had ailt walker. And I was trying to explain to my wife about a time when me and Clark watched someone, an amateur having a go at stilt walking fall off their stilts. And it being single-handedly like one of the funniest moments we've ever witnessed together. And that's horrendous, but it's also true. Like, there is something about it when you like that, that whee! We actually went to one, that, that, yay! Reaction went to someone,

that, the knee jerk reaction to, I don't know, crying German girl, or still walk her falling over. Like, the, the very first reaction that you are immediately ashamed of is like, oh, oh, oh, no, no, you actually are. And then it's like, oh, but like that, you can't deny that that's there. You can't deny it's like, oh, but like that, you can't deny that that's there.

You can't deny it's there. Hey, oh, oh, you're okay, oh. Funny how you really are, that's, it's never good, is it? No. It's never good. No. And it happens to me all the time. And it often happened to me when, for example, the four of us, Emma included, are

trying to organize when to record this podcast. And this will happen, where, like one of you will send a message going, I'm sorry, I feel really under the weather today, I've slept really badly, I've got a cold, I don't think I can do the record and I will message back. Maybe we can do Wednesday and then everyone else can message back. Get well soon. And I'm like, oh yes, that's the first reaction. Then you do the admin. And it's never my first instinct. I hate myself for it.

Because it's selfish. It's inherently it's selfish, it's inherently selfish. Well, how does this affect me? Not, I'm worried about my friend. It's how does this affect the organization that I've put hours into? It could be worse. When I read, I'm really ill, I'm in bed with a cold.

My reaction is, whoa! Hey! Hey! She fell all over! She fell all over! I'm cheating! I live in a house made of iron sheets. I'm cheating!

Can I just ask because I think we all need to know how long before you realised that the person was going to stack it? Because there must have been a moment when the arms are either side wind milling and all that kind of stuff And can I just say yeah, I genuinely thought that question was going to be how long were the stills? I've got to ask We're not talking about just those little you know those little block ones that you hold up on a couple of bits of rope. We're talking about proper stilts here, right? Yeah.

And how long, how long did you know because that's the other thing that's... I think it was abrupt. I think it was abrupt. I think it was like, it was, I think it was quite sudden and hence the delight. I think it was quite sudden and hence the delight. This is something as well, there's an extra funny on top of someone falling over, someone doing like circus skills. I mean, I'm falling over. Because you brought it on yourself. You're absolutely right.

I mean, it's the living embodiment of pride coming before a fall. Because what you are doing by the very nature of still walking is saying, I can walk on these two poles. Very nice. Yeah, that is my tongue. I'm like, you're going to make it. This is something, something, at least a little bit to be, to be in the presence of such a great mind.

Tom, Tom, talk us through it. If somebody is using a sieve, what are they, why they're very nature doing? Are they saying, I constrain this spaghetti, the all the water off it, but still sort of maintain the integrity of this spaghetti as a whole, is that sort of what they're doing? What do you do when you go to the hall?

Well, there's a suitcase. In a very essence, are they saying, well, I've packed a variety of things into this and I'm able to carry them much easier than they've just pulled up in my arms. Talk me through it, Tom. Well, I'm just trying to get to, though, is like the desire of behind still walking.

It says, look at me, isn't it? I mean, it might be the, no offense to any still walkers listening if we have any still walkers listening. Yeah. But it might be the worst of the performing art. Oh my God. Oh, imagine me and someone and being like,

what do you, and what does your partner do? Oh, there is still Walker. Oh, really? Ooh la la. Or imagine being on the fourth date with someone. And being like, what do you do? And it's like, I'm a still Walker. Oh, you finally get back to their house.

And you really like the team bedroom. In the car, you just see the size of their front door and you're like, oh no. But like, I just mean that you get in and like you see leaning up against the corner of the room, a pair of stilts and you like go, oh dear. What are they?

There you go, they're my stilts. And you go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a stilts walker, like, I mean, that's, I don't know, what's the hideous process. Like, what, yeah, like imagine being like, oh, imagine realising, imagine realising you're dating a still walker. Oh, you just not met the right still walker. That's the thing, you're having to go to the watch them, be like, oh, will you come and support me on Wednesday? the right still walker. That's the thing, you're having to go to the watch them, be like, oh, will you come and support me on Wednesday?

And you get, you're supposed to be on it. I need to lean on your head, while I get up there. And you can go, look, I tell you what, there still is a quite high, I'll be able to see you from the window, don't worry about that, you've got you going off and, no, no, no, no, I think, Tom, I could see,

you know, here's the thing, I could see you, if, for example, right, now you've been in your relationship for a long time, if, for example, your partner said, look, it's something I've been keeping from you. On the weekends, before we met, I used to be a stilt walker. I haven't done it for years,

I really want to take it up again and I'd like you to walk with me. You do it. Wouldn't you, couple still- When. You do it. Wouldn't you? Couple still walking together and the Rosonee one step foot steps. One step step. One step step.

I was still walking. I looked back in the sand and there was one set of footprints and then another set of footprints but they were really far apart. The thing is, we're still walking though. It is anyone right? Just a still walking though. Is anyone right? Just a stealth worker.

Is it a dying art? I kind of feel like it's accompanied by other things. Well when they, when they did the big reunion. What? Yes I do. Do you make it? Yeah. I think most stealth walkers have got more talents,

like jungling. You don't say for fuck's sake. You don't just say, I don't think, or I'm talking to the only thing on their CV, wouldn't you? You're putting all your eggs into one fucking basket there, aren't you? Yeah, I mean, it feels like they've probably got a bunch of,

like they can do a slapping. They can do that thing when you climb a ladder, but it's not proper against a wall, that kind of thing. But even the still walking itself is normally like accompanied by another like, do you know what I mean? It's breathing fire or something like that. You know, like, yeah, it's like,

it's like the normal adrenaline rumbling while they're doing it or they're doing it, or they're in a particularly, that bit of making costumes. That's a bit of making costumes. Like a big metal spider that breeds fire. You get a load of steel walkers around that area, don't you? A lot of that.

You go like, you go, you go to your family's, I don't know, it's like your nephew's birthday and it's like Saturday and you're there on your own and it's like, oh, so is Adam still walking today? Yeah, yeah, he can't make it, he's still walking today. Yeah, he can't make it. He's still walking again. You know, that kind of, it's going to eat into your weekends together, isn't it? It's like, oh, brilliant. We've been invited to, we're going to a cottage in Wales that weekend. Like, you know, eight of us. Oh, the 17th. Sorry, mate. It's the school fair. Still walking. I'm still walking.

I'll go on my own shall I? Tom, I feel like though. I feel like what you were describing is... Can I release noble reason to not be available? Yeah, I feel like what you were describing though is like, ask when we did the live circuit. Yeah. Oh yeah, you know, our partners don't say no, they can't come to this family due because they're going to go and put a paper hat on in front of 30 people in an art centre, you know.

Yeah, but there's, you know, there's material. There's honor. There's a sh- There's honor in that. Just, like, I'm literally, I'm standing on some dig that makes me look taller than I am. That's it. That's it, that's it, isn't it?

Sure. Yeah, when you put it down to the essence of what's the wall? Like look, yeah, if you don't do it right, you can actually get back down to the essence. I can throw and catch more things than you should normally be able to throw and catch. That's okay, fucking I'm interested how you doing that, that's cool. I stand on something that makes me look taller than I am.

You're not coming to my nephew's birthday because of that. I'll tell you what though, if he comes to the nephew's party and he's on his stilts, everybody loves him, yeah. Yeah, we're there to go. If he can do some balloon animals as well, you know, all that kind of stuff. Well, like he said, you've got to have a backer. Got to have a backer.

Got to have some of a complete, yeah. But what, I was going to say, what else have I done? Basically, I was at this fun day on Saturday and there was just a guy walking around, he was just walking around, I was like, oh, sorry, this was his, this is what he got into. He didn't juggle, he didn't have any pattern, he was just walking round. Sorry, this was his, this is what he got into.

He didn't juggle, he didn't have any pattern, he was just walking round on stelts. But was he a professional? Was he just doing it for his hobby? I mean, he was booked as the stilt walker, he was in the schedule as the stilt walker walking round on stelts. He was scheduled. So what a crowd gathered at midday

to watch him walk a bit higher than everyone else walks. I mean, was he markedly higher? Yeah, he was on still. It wasn't enough questions, man. Some still saw like two feet and some. It wasn't that time's guy. two feet and some it was a double size guy I think Tiktok is guy he was a lucky day that's a just high heels man

let's stop clapping I'm gonna level with you I thought they were in the back of the car I've forgotten the stilts alright so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna just jump just to jump all around the face okay I'm just gonna jump from like just you know I'll stand over the lucky dip and I'll just jump jump all round the fate. Okay, I'm just gonna jump from like just, you know, I'll stand over by the lucky dip and I'll just jump a bit over there

and people can sort of imagine, you know? I'll ugly a bit of skin. It's not a bad skin. Do you reckon they've ever petitioned for the Olympics or some shit like that or like for it to be recognized? I like the way you're already ready to be annoyed by the concept of that.

I don't know the answer, but I'm going to say yes, just to give you what you wanted. Well, that's fucking stupid, isn't it? No, because like, think about like pole vaulting. It's like fair play. If pole vaulting wasn't in the Olympics, you'd think what the fuck's going on there, mate. You know, there'd be the stuff of some affairs and stuff, wouldn't they? Paul Valken though is just stilts for people

who can't stilt walk. Isn't it? I'm more, I'm impressed by Paul Valken's. I'd be more impressed by people doing the high jump on stilts though, I think. Or combining the two. Well, here we go. Oh baby.

But Paul Valttinger, you're right, is an absolutely batshit. Like that doesn't really kind of cause a stir because it's been around for so long, but I was watching it at this Olympics, it's just going, what is, no, but it doesn't feel like the sort of thing that like people would use Paul Valttinger to store Macarcel. It feels like it's like the sort of thing that like people would you it would use pole vaulting to storm a castle

It feels like it's like it's got the sort of traditional idea that you know you would you would You're still when they use still to storm a castle is that where the noble art of still walking began It's a bit rich and the noble art after a minute I'm trying to find redemption for it. Did it start back in the day as a, you know? No, because if you're trying to get across a moat, right? You don't want to be the guy who everybody can see from the castle, because you're five foot above the moat.

You want to be the guy who swims under the moat and then comes up the other side, or the guy here. Poll vaults above the moat. You want to be the guy who swims under the moat and then comes up the other side Or the guy here, but you pull vaults across the moat very quickly before they get a chart You know arrows whizzing past him before he gets a chance. He's already on the other side and he's you know Jimmy in Appetariot. This is this is interesting because It feels like you're focusing you're very moat focused here, and I would have thought it was about the walls Yeah You you get you're still walking next to the wall and then you get into the still, you don't still top to the moat.

That's not the tactic. That's not strappin' on flake miles away. You don't still top to the moat mate. To be honest, what a time I got to the castle. I'm not gonna knock it. I'm imagining, no. I'm imagining, I'm imagining. He says the side of the moat. Strap it on his face.

Oh no, I'm, I'm, I'm. He lowers his stance into the water. He trots across. And then he takes his stilts off. He walks through the moat. He walks through the moat. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah, not most interested.

That's what I was imagining. No, I'm interested. But no, I was imagining that people vault through a moat, polvalt through a moat, but you're right, there would pole vault into a place as well, wouldn't they? I guess you'd, you know, but I mean, it'd be a big old pole vault

to vault into a turret. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I'm thinking the easiest way to use a pole vault, if you've got a castle to storm, it's the moat, right? In fact, the pole vault's definitely not good. Not good. You're whacking into the wall and sliding down like a tech savory cartoon

No, I mean, I'm sure like some of the smaller castle I think you know you think you think you're a castle A small castle Like the bit we used to the big castles aren't we stuck around but there must have been small castles Oh yeah, they're all destroyed because they're destroyed by pole vaults as well. There's still walkers and the pole vaults have their way. I mean yeah I mean that's the reason. I've got to say this though because the last time I saw somebody who claimed to be a

still walker for their profession was when they did the big reunion on ITV. And they got a load of pop bands back together and bewitched the Irish pop band who did Taylor V. Got back together. And one of the sisters, she did a bunch of jobs. And one of them was, she handed out flyers, dressed as like a Sergeant Major on Stilts, but she also like works in a

call center as well and other sort of slightly more normal jobs. But it was, I think like Clark said, you've got to have more than once. Every still walker is working in the call center somewhere. To hit, I mean, you've got to reach out, reach down a long way to answer that phone. Yeah, the leg room in that office is a nightmare. I feel like, I don't want to feel like I'm... Like, you're not, you're definitely not punching down top.

No, it's not going to seem like that. One of the things that made me laugh was the still walker, at the Funde walk past, and my friend's dog really reacted badly to this stilt walker and my friend was like, oh I don't think he likes circus performers but it's not that, it's because it's two huge sticks walking past. The dog doesn't even know there's a fucking human up there, does he? He's just thinking to like lunch or something. Well, it's either fetched or don't he would? It's either fetched or it's, because you know, dogs got to the essence of that.

Dogs love to hunt legs as well. Either that or he's thinking, that was my first thought. Yeah, this is the biggest leg I've ever seen in my life. So basically, if you're in the castle, you see, you know, if you see the stilt walkers approaching, burn and wood style, release the dogs, that's what we're saying, isn't it?

Release the hounds. They'll swim across the mose. You're the only person who has this stronger version to stilt walkers. Does this mean, if you get a dog, I'll know the exact reason why. You've got a dog just to ward off still walkers. I feel bad if they're not still walkers listening to this

because they must be. Pretty good defense against a dog being on stilts, right? Well, you can run fast. Which is a dog could do to you. And also, well, they're no you down, wouldn't they? They're not be there. You've got to get us out of your head that dogs eat woods.

They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. So we say beaver.

What we're saying is fill your mic with beavers aren't we? Yeah. That's how I see you. Yeah. But then they'll dam it and then you can just walk across. Dam it. Yeah, but they'll be damning it with the stills of the still walk is that they've killed.

So, I don't think they've got like, if you cut the leg off and still walk and they're not gonna bleed out. Do I not have them doing it? They're not being able to do it. No, you don't, it's not a real leg. Okay, those legs go all the way up. There's still Walker events.

Shakespeare's worst work. I'm just trying to think like I, I'm slightly concerned now because Edwin Brefestival, there are still walkers around aren't there. I don't want to have some kind of like, I don't want to come out of a venue like You know down on the cowgate or something Fucking ten still walkers wait get trample to death by still walk. That's quite that's quite scary

I'd be like to start the fucking midsummer murder or something I don't want to be too mad at you. It's every day as ridiculous as the way that people die amidst some emergency. Yeah. Trampil to death, but it's still walking. Yeah. There's no fingerprints. No, they were wearing stills.

There's a way. On their arms and legs. Like those big, spired people at Glastonbury. There you go. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like effectively, you're kind of like a human puppet aren't you I guess I don't know He's not the appeal if you're a still walk again, touch it. Let us know what wait. Can you make up on the human puppet idea?

How are they here? Do you know I think you feel a bit like a human puppet if you're a still guy? still guy. I don't think it's all the work. They're doing all the work. They're doing all the controlling, right? Now, I think about it, right? Do you think it'd be a good novelty act to do the stand-up circuit, but with like really small stilts? People don't quite so like your you've got like really you're really tall right here that's not enough is it that's not enough the thing with Greg Davies is he's also really funny as well so he's got both things going on imagine if it really came down to that, he's just a guy on Stiltz. That's all he is, guys.

He's five for eight. That's it. You know what? That's not even like, you don't even own foot long stiltz. That's not even that long for a stilt, is it? No, that's it. It's fairly, it's fairly duke. That's what I mean, yeah.

Right. If, next time, if anybody's, you know, if anybody's going to cross me, I can see you get very excited. Go into it. Yeah, if anyone's going to hear the Taskmaster recordings or anything like that. Release a, release a beaver. Release a beaver and then slide tackling.

Let the beaver do a little bit of work while he's sat there on his throne. As he gets up, just straight across, slide tackling, take him out. Let's find out. See what happens. You know the way there's this rumor on TikTok about Helen Keller not being real.

Have you heard about this? It's like a big thing where people are saying that Helen Keller is made up, didn't exist. I thought you were gonna say Brett Goldstein CGI. That's another great one. Another great one, yeah, yeah to say Brett Goldstein CGI. That's another great one. Another great one. Yeah, yeah. The Brett Goldstein CGI. Can we start as big as Helen Gellars not being real? No, no. And you also want to be true. But could we put it about

that Greg Davies is actually on stills? Let's put it out. What's the Helen Gellars not being real? Where are the origins of that? Because that flies in the face of loads of primary school assemblies. Yeah. I think it started off as like someone did it as a joke. And I think a lot of these things, they start as a bit of a sort of a lot. And then people take it too seriously.

And but now it's like still walking. Exactly. And now people are saying that there's like a movement, you know akin to the earth movement with no basis in reality where people, when it started on TikTok apparently, that's as much as I know. I've just seen videos of like people angrily explaining that, you know, how could she write a book?

How could she write a book? She's deaf and dumb and blind. How could she write a book? That kind of stuff. Don't tell her about the Belgium and the Butterfly. Well, you done is there, mate? They're claiming beans. If someone said they would like, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, it's like, if the origin of that movement was, look, there was a primary school teacher who forgot it was their assembly.

So they made up a story on the spot and it was so good, another teacher took that assembly to another school. Like, I believe that. Yeah. Because primary school assemblies, you know, they're kind of like, they're fact of like,

they're fact, but from a really unreliable source, back in the day when there wasn't from the Bible. Yeah, so there wasn't like internet and people would be like, you know, you wouldn't be able to go home and check it, but this kind of like unreliable teacher whose turn it's come round to would get up and kind of give it, give it a go, telling you the story of Douglas Bader

or something and you'd be like, is that right? You can't just give it a stab, kind of going, yeah, no parachute is legs in, so we could do a sport stain, you're like, go, okay, I mean, I'm with you but is that did they yeah yeah yeah and you're like it's the PET show and you're thinking you're just saying this because it's sports day next week they parachute his legs in and they're like obviously

years later you gotta go oh yeah actually it was true but at the time you kind of think oh no Mr Jones is just like he's panicking also Also as well, you've got to do loads, like if you think about it, you've got to do loads of assemblies and you can't repeat material. You can't do... Yeah, like fucking Christmas, the boxing day game of football in World War, what, right?

The first time you hear that in a pro-school assembly, you think, fuck off. Come on, what? And then Lance, you've all just got up and started kicking the ball around, actually. You know, I then Lance, but you're just gonna up and start kicking the ball around, actually, you know, I think Jones, are you asking, you are making this up as you go? You know what I mean?

Like, it's like, there's so many of those stories that you hear for the first time in assembly, and you just think, no, this is mental. We have a teacher who is a Eurosceptic, who would read those articles in the Daily Mail. You know, the first tickles of Euroscepticism in the 90s would come around. It was all the sort of bent bananas and jam,

cannot be called jam, all of that kind of stuff. He just read articles like that out. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, you read them out. Yeah, just read them out. You know, they're really bleak, you know, who wrote most of those articles? Bojo.

Bojo. Bojo wrote, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. Bojo originated the bent banana, honest thing and stuff like that. Oh my God. Fair plan. He is the guy, he is the guy who's like,

he woke up hung over. He didn't have anything to write about. He invented Helen Keller. Yeah. He is a hundred percent icon out of depth, privately school teacher trying to give it a send, but every time he is a hundred percent icon out of depth primary school teacher trying to give it that simply every time he gives It's lucky has the exact same amount of power as a primary school teacher. That's good for all of our sakes Yeah, so we'll look in conclusion

Conclusion If you're a sound viewer. To conclude our guest's envy today. If you all tend to hear him get some suggestions of it, please. Well, yeah, I mean, if it was the end of the assembly night, Clark, you'd get his acoustic guitar, right? Well, you fact you both would, wouldn't you both get your acoustic guitar, and we'd have a stab at a thing along? Yes, yeah, we'd switch things, our God reigns or something like that, or...

Oh, I don't know that one. Do you know our God reigns or something like that or... Oh, I don't know that one. Oh, God reigns. It's really good. We're using that all the time in church. But there isn't weird. I was gonna say that I was trying to dip it in the bun for just putting it on the other way. That time in the evening when I could really launch into

a good hymn or two. But there is a weird kind of, there's a weird, the songs you sang at primary school that weren't religious are like an odd list of songs. Yeah. Like, you know, like, let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London. Yeah, streets of London by Ralph McTell,

we sung that in primary school as well. Football crazy was another one we used to sing. Football crazy, I was gonna say, yeah. We used to say football crazy all the time. What were the other biggies? And then when they sang football crazy all the time what what were the other biggies and then when they sang football crazy did you used to stand up and just do the wanker sign to the other people for a full 70 minutes yeah yeah just for the full 70 minutes just me and the rest of the teachers and that was the teachers we Oh, little of the students. We have a laugh, don't we? No, we do.

At least we're not on stilts. Guys, I've got something terrible to tell you. You're not going to believe this. I'll stilts you. I'll stilts you. I'll stilts you. I'll stilts you. I'll not even five and a half foot. I've been on the stills. They've parachuted in my stills so I can do a sports day. Go to impressions. Let's hear you bleeding.

Well there we go. If that's pushed any buttons, if you are a stillstalker or friend of the still-walking community, then get in touch! That's not a hot dog, absolutely! You're a hot dog! So you see, let us know at hashtag. And let us know at hashtag. Well, another house meeting chalked up on the board, I guess. Absolutely absolutely. And the last house meeting, Parry, the board, I guess. Absolutely, absolutely. And the last house meeting, Parry, we've actually had some correspondence about that.

It's more content about the financial side of fares, basically. Oh, great. OK. The higher the, the hiring, the buying, the manufacturing. This is from the top of the top. This is really peaked people's interest. It's really, it's really, it's really, it's an interesting angle. It's, I mean, I hope, because still it's

is very much fair adjacent, you know. I think it's because it's the end, it's the tail end of the summer. You know, we're musing over what's gone by. And yeah, I think it's our level as well. I think like, you you know we're gearing up to you know how like Mike Boosh had a music festival I think we're gearing up to Papi's having a yeah a jambore I'm surely now you know obviously we've we now BBC 3

next to the fucking wall yeah yeah it's BBC 4, isn't it? It's a BBC 4 documentary Kind of the fairs around the world and we look at different types of fairs. Yeah in different cultures That's right. We meet we meet some Morris dancers You know, it's like the kind of the fishing program that's been such a big success That's kind of our kind of chance that kind of thing the Bob Mortimer and It's asking to Morris dances We're having a go on different Tom Bowlers. We're asking where they got them from Well, you know, hopefully this should this should answer a this should certainly answer a question about

About one item this is from now we know um, about one item. This is from, now, we know her, uh, from the Patreon, but this is from, oh, our dear friend, oh, up north, um, who's got in touch via Papi's flat share at gmail.com. A great way to get in touch if you'd like to get in touch too. Oh, right. Hi, all. I'm slowly catching up on all the content I've missed over the summer and Crosby's musings on how party higher companies will one week hire out stocks for a school fair and the next week to some sort of dungeon reminded me of a lovely story I once heard from a person working in the higher industry. A certain higher company as a big annual strip cheese related gig had a special stripper

poll made that could be used safely without attaching it to anything at the top. It was an expensive thing to make, so they had to look for other opportunities to hire it out between those regular gigs. What else happens annually and very much requires an upright pole that's safe without attaching it to anything at the top? That's right. The stations of the cross east of play, where the cross needs to support a grown man. Knowing where that pole has been really worth my hard every year when I pass the posters advertising the play cheers oh so every year this higher company is hiring out a stripper pole to hang our Lord Jesus Christ on. He's a crystal. That's amazing. That sounds like a maple maple. It could be a theme of a fill.

You know what I mean? There's like a stripper nun. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh right, yeah. We're really tickled, Thomas. By the way, if you'd like to hear more about Tom's predilection towards nuns, get yourself over to the Patreon because we have 15 episodes of Love, Sex, Shag, Down, in which that is explored in tremendous detail and I has been involved in that as well.

Thanks very much for emailing. If you'd like to get in touch, Papi's Flatshare at gmail.com with any of your Tom Boiler or Fair related, if you're a still Walker, we've got to have at least one still Walker. Defends the noble art of still walking. Get in touch. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter, at Pappy's Tweet, on Instagram, at Pappy's Comedy, on Facebook,

Pappy's Flakshare podcast, and all the other places you can find us. Like and subscribe, and join the Patreon. Today's episode was produced as ever by Emma Corsham. Corsham! Corsham! Jim! Jim! Jim! Hi! You're right, Clarky. This is a party when, party when in hard and I loved it.

You've got to do it, man. You've got to go in hard. A. A. A, B, A, A, where A, A, Clarky, A, A, C, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A Please still still could be it could be anything it could be anything at this point I'm sorry. It's it's up in the air at this stage. Um, it's sort of oscillating. It could be New York It could be Scouse. Let's find out. Hey, plant Yeah, hey Cushion said this part of it Good point Hey, Cushion said this part of it. It's a good point. Place, place, place.

Oh, hold on. Plays, place, place. For the Patreon neighborhood watch, roll call. Oh, dear. Tickle me, Rims. It's Catherine Grub. I once gave her a money, Robert. What? Holy hell, it's mail gun.

Me and him used to have lots of fun. A mail gun is the service by which I can't do anything else you can. lots of fun. A male gun is the service by which people should try. Yes. But it's a tricky one here because they've not put down any name. Thank you for the money on the save. Well, now it's a really good earner. The day that I took money from Greg Turner via Mailgun. I am Mailgun. Patreon.com Oh, when I see how I shout, buy Hecky! Get away from my mailgun account, mecky! Oh, when I see him I shout, where are all my fees from my mailgun, mailgun, matrises? I have something to say, I'm wearing a mail glove! What do you think of that, Hazel J?

What do you think of that, Hazel J? Oh, I love your male glove, mate. I'm wearing a female glove, and also an unbinary glove as well. And I'm with Alex Brooke. I'm wearing a male belt, which is making me feel very thin. Thank you for giving it to me William and Win. Tim Price is here and I got to say that I think he really is okay. What is happening? Oh, it's male, Gobi. Here and I'll never tell how it tickles my chest for now it rings my bell. Oh, well here I am, but I'm feel be pride when I seem up first. No, you can't have me.

Oh no, yeah! There was no way of... It's the only me to see pride. Don't worry, he's going to rhyme it with male gun. Emma, can I just ask? Well, I'm so sorry before I lied, but here's my new pal Steve pride. But I also think he's okay. I think it's a... ...and mailgun. Dotcom. Mailgun.

Everybody get your mailgun out. And that concludes... Eh? ...and the name of this part of it. Eh, Patreon neighborhood watch roll call! Pay three in neighborhood, watch roll call!