Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare ep 1513: Sam Campbell & Uncle Paul

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

We're back in your ear and eye canals with special guest Sam Campbell (and his uncle Paul). We deep dive into Sam's family, which unlocks something very primal for ClarkyNote - apologies, we used incorrect pronouns for Emma Corrin, who goes by they/them.Sam Campbell - https://www.instagram.com/mcdonaldscomedyTo get episodes early and ad-free - PLUS a bonus episode every week - join our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareTo watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweetPAPPY'S FLATSHARE SLAMDOWN, is back at the Phoenix Pub for TWO Flatslams on May 27th and June 2nd!WITH SPECIAL GUESTS...TUESDAY MAY 27TH: NATALIE CASSIDY + LEAH DAVISMONDAY JUNE 2ND: ROISIN CONATY + MILES JUPPPappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is the hilarious and anarchic panel game hosted by award-winning sketch heroes Pappy’s and featuring great guests from the world of comedy.You can buy tickets for either show or use this special link to buy ONE DISCOUNTED TICKET THAT GETS YOU INTO BOTH SHOWS! Tickets are £11 (£19 for both) but our Patreon members get discounted tickets (£2 off). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very, very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share. Absolutely right. A first for us, I think, in that what happened with this episode is we booked a stellar guest, an interstellar guest. We booked Matthew McConaughey. Well, he did, but McConaughey couldn't, he didn't turn up. What people don't know is he's behind a bookshelf throughout this entire episode, pushing books out. Screaming no. To try and communicate a message. So this

is another great reason to get over to the YouTube and watch the whole episode there. He's trying to get us to stop. He's going, no, please, no. The heartbreak of realizing that your children have become podcasters. That's what interstellar is really about. In the absence of the big easy, McConaughey, we had Australia's version, actually. Yes. Matthew McConaughey, Mr Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell was our guest. Yeah, absolutely fantastic.

And he showed up with his own guests. He was entertaining his uncle and aunt. They'd come over from Australia to see London and he said, well, if you're going to see London, one thing you cannot miss is a chance to watch a podcast being recorded in Clarkeys Flats. Of course. Yeah. It's got a great rating on TripAdvisor.

You've got to go there. It's right up there with the London Eye. Oh my God. And he said, would it be all right if my Uncle Paul joins us for the podcast? And I said, yeah, you know, we'll do about 20 minutes of chat and then maybe he can come on for the last sort of five, 10. And Sam said, no deal breaker. We've got to have Uncle Paul on from the start of the pod.

And you know what? He was right in that instance. He was he was spot on. Yeah, both Sam and of course, Uncle Paul. So if you're a fan of Sam Campbell, but if more specifically, if you if you're a fan of the greater Campbell clan, then this is going to be a great episode for you.

You're going to love it. Well, I've got a feeling with this episode that we will have picked up at least five or six brand new listeners because the Campbell clan are listening to this app. Surely. You know? And if we can get just a couple of them to stick around and join the Patreon, then do you know what I mean? It's paid off. It's paid off.

Jason Vale Absolutely. Yeah, I think this is going to be showing up on at least one family WhatsApp. But even if you're not a member of the Campbell clan, pop it on your family WhatsApp. Pop the link to this episode of the family WhatsApp and see what your family makes of it. And do get back to us. We'd love to hear from you. What is your family make of Pappy's Flat Share? The real goal is can you listen to this with one of your uncles? Can we turn this into like an uncle listener experience, you know, or an auntie if you so prefer. It's 2025 after all. And then you listen with an auntie or uncle and you report back on how it went. You listen with an auntie or uncle and you report back on how it went.

Yes, yes. So we ask Pappy's flat share at Gmail dot com. Or of course, you can find us on Instagram. You can find us on Twitter X as it's known now. You can find us on YouTube and you can find us on TikTok. So all of the links. Bloody hell. I guess. Yeah. So any any and all of those places

are great places to get in touch with us. So get to those right now. How we doing on the old TikToks, Clark? I always like to catch up because I don't have the app myself. We're teetering on the edge of 500 followers. This is good, man, because we got our... Do you get a plaque then?

Is that when you get the plaque? I've got plenty of plaque mate. Don't be worried about that. Because they sent us the email the other day from YouTube creators. We broke a thousand followers there. So I don't know when your next email comes. We got a 500 email.

We got a thousand emails. But I feel like you've got to... Next one's gonna be a big leap up isn't it've got to be a big leap up, isn't it? It's 500,000. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. They really pull you off.

They're not just chucking emails around. They're not just chucking them around. Anyway, yes. If you would like to, another great way to get in touch with us is via our Patreon. Become a member and join the gang today. Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Share. And not only do you get these episodes early and ad free, you also get a bonus episode every week of our Flat Share Pop Round,

which is really fun chat. And you also get discounted tickets to our upcoming live flat share slamdowns. I don't talk about really. Oh, yes, let's talk about that. Actually, we've got no, no, go on. You do your also first and then I'll bring up, I'll bring up the details because I've not got them in front of me. I know it's the 27th of May and the 2nd of June, but I'll buy you some time here. Also, you get the lovely feeling of knowing that you're supporting us

doing this podcast because we can't do it without the patrons help. So it's a lovely two-way street where yes, you get your bonus episodes and your discounts, but you also get to know that you're helping us out and supporting the pod. Do you know, a lot of the time I kind of view our patrons as kind of our kindly uncles and aunties in a way. So it's very sad.

So true. It's very true. This episode. I support both that also and that yes and. I'm supporting all of that. You can have that. I'm giving that the double depots there. So I can tell you now that Papi's Flat Shares Slam Down

is at the Phoenix Pub on May the 27th and June the 2nd. On May the 27th, we've got Natalie Cassidy. You may know her, Sonia from EastEnders and of course from her fantastic podcasts. Oh. And Leah Davis as well from Capital Extra. Absolutely wonderful. Wow. And then on June the 2nd, we have Rachene Conaty and Miles Jupp. Gosh. Rachene Conaty, formerly of Game Face. Miles Jupp, formerly of The News Quiz, both fantastic stand-up comedians, both brilliant. And Balamore, of course, Balamore. Yes, Balamore.

If you've got kids of a certain age, then he will forever be Professor Archie. Yes, if you can get tickets to those shows, I'll tell you now that the individual tickets for the Rasheen and Miles show are sold out, but you still get tickets that get you into both shows for a discounted rate, or you can get tickets just for the Natalie Cassidy and Leah Davis show that's still available. All of those tickets from pappiescomedy.com forward slash live. Or of course, if you're a member of the Patreon, you get discounted tickets with a promo code. So get yourself to the Patreon and join today. A whole heap of business there for your ear canal. And now let's have a little palate

cleanser by listening to this wonderful episode of Sam and Uncle Paul. Talking about whatever. We've been doing this forever. But we don't really live together. So let's give a bit of an introduction. We don't normally do this in the podcast, but it's worth doing. You should. Paul's brought his nephew on. Paul, we've invited Paul on to do our pod and you've brought along your miscreant nephew. I am. And look, can I just apologize in advance? Listen, no apology needed on your part. It's Salma needs to apologize. The apologies are all mine.

Thanks so much. How are you, Babis? Great to see you. Great, yeah. Very, very good. How are you? You guys look very healthy, very nice. You know, good stuff.

Thank you so much. Thank you, I appreciate that. Good immune system. Be honest, who do you think out of the three of us looks the healthiest? Oh. That's what we need right here. Great question.

We have school like guests. Uncle Paul, you go first with this. Which one's the richest? Really? But that's not as... Wealth and happiness and healthiness are not always connected. That's so true. Is that true? And also, we're sketch comedians.

None of us are rich. Whatever will we. We're doing a podcast in a flat. What do you think? And none of you are healthy. I can see that. You're the money here, Paul. We're hoping you're going to invest heavily in the product. The fly uncle Paul is a very, very wealthy man. Yeah, I can tell. I can tell he wears it well.

He could snap you in half. Is that what wealthy people do? I don't know. Maybe. Oh, I think Ben. Thank you. You pointed it, Tom. You know what? That's a power play.

Which is what most people do. Ben. Thank you. You pointed it Tom. That's a power play. That's a big power play from Paul. Yeah. He's swinging. We're talking uncle, uncle Paul this year. And I would love to say this is how many uncles have I got? Um, five. No. Uncle Paul. Okay. So everyone that you're going to say one word about each uncle. What do you think about that? Okay. Okay. So beginning with uncle Paul, hero. Gorgeous.

Vapa. Oh, wow. And do I get to do one? Yeah, please. Just wisdom and wisdom is different to knowledge. And this is a wise, wise man. You can tell. Okay, great.

We've got a wise uncle here. We'll look forward to this. This is the best public speaker I ever saw at weddings. Oh my God. And he doesn't prepare off the dome. It's like, honestly, it's incredible to see. It's like beautiful. Have you got any, what kind of wedding?

Have we been to a wedding together? Yes, both of your daughter's weddings I've attended. You were there. Of course I was there, it made a huge splash. You got an invite. I wore a negligee slip. That was you. I made a scene.

No, but there's some of the most amazing speeches, heartfelt, funny. Fogged with a bride. Yeah. It used to be school principal. So that's where he was. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Thanks for that.

Yeah, it's true. Did you hold it together? Did you get emotional yourself? Oh, terribly emotional. Oh, terribly emotional. Cause Sam was there in a negligee. He's ruined the day. Okay. So that's Uncle Paul. And then we've got Uncle Jared.

One word for Uncle Jared. Beginning with boring. Boring. What did he, what do you get for Jared? Wise. Oh, cause I think Uncle Jared is knowledge. Cause he's got knowledge. He plays video games, civilization, ancient stuff. He doesn't have the wisdom that you have. Like, and he reads all the time, constantly reads. Is he your got knowledge. He plays video games, civilization, ancient stuff, but he doesn't have the wisdom that you have. Like, and he reads all the time, constantly

reads. Is he your older or younger brother? Younger. Okay. So he's book smart, but not necessarily street smart in the way the poor is. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I feel. Is that fair assessment? Yeah. I'll go with that. Yeah. Okay. He's a nice guy. Smoking cigarettes. I like uncle Jerry. He's got a bit edgier than you. The cool uncle. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What do you think of uncle Jerry? We think smoking cigarettes is really cool by the way. We should say that. We should say. We think it's really cool. Uncle Jerry, what have you got for me? Handsome. You need to do handsome for the last one.

No. What are you saying? Oh, I did the gorgeous actually. Gorgeous, handsome. You should say clucking sexually attracted to uncles. Yeah, this guy's gonna. We should have said that. It's his...

He's an uncle-philiac. It's his thing. My family tree is making this guy run. This guy's got a stiffy over my uncle's. This guy's got a stalk on. I swear to God. Is this video? Zoom in on this.

He's got a stiffy. That's just my microphone. That's just the corduroy trousers. They, you know, they bunch up at the front. That's all it is. I would have to say... OK, so we've already had wise, haven't we? Yes. Uh, I'm going to say charming.

Spot on. Yeah. Yeah. He's charming. Yeah. What did you, you went, you went mean, didn't you? I'm boring. I'm boring.

I'm a poor guy. He's not boring. What does he like? He likes religion. He likes woodwork. He likes gambling. Yes. He likes gambling. Yes. He likes life. Yeah, he is really high.

Yeah. How much does he want on the on? Well, what does he what does he gamble on? What is he like a horse's guy or? Yeah, he likes like to follow the horses. He likes to flutter. How much does he? How much? What's the biggest? I don't believe a gambler ever wins anything. No, the house always wins. Yeah, this is the biggest? I don't believe a gambler ever wins anything. The house always wins.

Yeah. This is the wisdom of Paul. Exactly. And the way he releases that, that wisdom as well. So I don't believe, but it's not, it's never cruel. It's never planned. It's like the guy is just. Where is this guy on my life?

You know, 10 years ago, if I'd listened to him, I'd be in a nice house. Right now. Easily most supportive of my family as well. Checks in, tax. If I'm going through a nice house right now. You wouldn't have gambled it all away. Easily most supportive of my family as well. Checks in, tax. If I'm going through a rough phase. I'm the elder person, elder brother. That's my job. Baby brothers, yeah.

So who have we got next? Oh no, Uncle Peter. Yep. Oh no. Wild card. Wild card, yeah. Culchin. Oh no. Wild card. Wild card. Yeah. Cultured.

Cultured? Are you serious? A very generous way of... I'm going to say minuscule, small, tiny. He's small, he's tiny. Smaller than you. Yeah. Really?

He's tiny. He's not bigger than me. Are you serious? You're going to blow him away with a single... He's a tiny little guy. He's your uncle. You mustn't be blown on your uncle. That's Clarky's job.

He is, and he gets smaller every time I see him. He's just like this little guy. He's got a small little skeleton. I don't know, I like Uncle Peter. We love Uncle Peter, but yeah. He doesn't sound like it. There's nothing wrong with being small. He's just...

Let's not get into that again. Having a small skeleton doesn't make you a bad person. Sam and I can't stress that enough. I love him. He's blood, but he is a small man. What have you got for this guy? Well, I'm just going to go with fit. Yeah. You've toned it down for, you know, are you talking about athletically fit? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what that means over here? He thinks he's paying. Do you know any of this stuff? You know, paying. For like, for like attracted. He thinks he's spunky. He thinks he's paying. Do you know any of this stuff? No, paying words for like, for like attracted.

He thinks he's spunky. He thinks he's spunky. Peter does too. Yeah. Okay. It is true. No stranger to the mirror. I can agree.

No stranger to the mirror. What about Svelte? Can we call him Svelte? I'd say Svelte. Is he a Svelte gentleman? Svelte? He's very shiny skinned, do you think? He's the shiniest uncle.

He's small and shiny. Small and shiny. Like a little penny. Yeah. He's like a diamond. Like a lovely little penny. He's like a good penny. Yeah.

Okay. Although he would use a penny as like a frisbee. He's a very small guy. He's like a borrower. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know borrowers? No.

We don't know borrowers? We don't have borrowers. Never borrow an Orlando Bay. Yeah, the borrowers are these tiny little men who live in the walls of England. Move on, Sam. Yeah, fair enough. Crucially, we've got more uncles to get through.

You've got five uncles. You've got five brothers. You're one of five. One of five. Wowee. No aunties. No aunties, not a one. No point.

So we are going to say... You want uncles? Yes! We want to continue the family name. Yes. Let's not waste our time with aunts. Oh my god. Okay, so now we get to... Terry. Uncle Terry. That's my dad. Am I still allowed to say one for that?

Yeah. Okay, yeah. You go first please. Terry. I think there's a strength, a quiet strength to Terry. I was thinking strength as well. Adventurous. He grabs every opportunity and develops it to the full. Oh, OK. OK. Yeah. He's so lovely to hear.

And for my own dad, I would say... Have you met him? Yeah, of course. Oh, my God. Well, you've met Terry. Yeah. Are you implying that there's another... Oh, my God. Imagine, you've met Terry. Yeah. You imply that there's another. Oh my God. Imagine if that's how I find out. This is a bombshell. Wow.

We're going to clip this up. Oh my goodness. Dr. Terry. I find out like that he's actually not my dad. He's my brother. What happened to Jack Nicholson? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It turns out the person he thought was his sister was his mother.

You find out you're one of yourolson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns out the person he thought was his sister was his mother. Was his mom, yeah. You find out your mom was his grand. Was his mom was his grand. Yeah. Yeah, no one's doing those little scrambles anymore, are they? No, they don't, they don't. No.

Have we got one coming today? This is what we should do. Oh, imagine. Basically, I think, I think, I think we should all. I just kissed my shoulder, what the fuck? Did you see that? Rhyme back the footage. Yeah.

Can we watch that again? Because it feels like Clarkie is absent on heat today. He's nibbling on my shoulder like a cockatiel. As soon as he found out you might be your own uncle, he's right into that. Is he usually this frisky? I don't know what's going on. Something's happened to him. It's a pheromones.

Something about having an uncle. Falling in the air. What's going on with him? Something about the heat, the humidity. Something's got Clark. Look at, he's got Clarky. Look at his perspiration. He's dripping over here.

And the biggest stalk I've seen in years. It's like, are you expecting to be a giant on the top of that and Jack to climb up it? It's unbelievable. So for my own dad, I would say he is very, um, yeah, spotty. Like it was adventurous, very spontaneous, very, I would say he is very, um, it was adventurous, very spontaneous, very, I'll say funny. I think Terry's really funny. That's good to find your dad funny. Yeah. Like he calls himself, what does he say?

He calls himself the cattle snake, the terrapin. Like he has a different name every day. And he calls my mum the truth parrot. When he's on the phone to me and she's in the background, he goes, ah, the truth parrot's coming. She's going to ask you many questions. The truth parrot. he's on the phone to me and she's in the background and he goes, ah, the truth parrot's coming. She's going to ask you many questions. So yeah, I think he's really funny to me. Yeah. Well, after hearing that, I'm going to have to say, yeah, sexy. Have you got a sexy dad, Sam? I'm not answering a question like that.

No, I wouldn't know. Come back to haunt you. Don't answer that. Sorry. Some people are going to find out who's the sexiest. This guy's trying to make me white load as my own uncle. What is wrong with you? I'm going to describe him as courageous. Would you say he's courageous? Paul was straight away nodding on that one. He's adventurous and courageous.

He gets adventurous, courageous. There's a strength to him as well. He goes big, Terry. He's got all to him as well. He goes big, Terry, with, he's got all the emotions, which he, yeah. He's in touch with his emotions. I think he is in a, yeah. Yeah. I think he's a really gentle guy. Gentle, funny. He sounds amazing. Yeah.

Have you got his email? Could we get him on the podcast? CampbellsEdge at bigpond.com. Send my dad an email. It was only photos of the rock wall that he's built. It's fantastic. Yeah. Great. Have we done all the uncles? No, we've got one to go.

We've got baby Brendan. The youngest. Yeah, let's see it with baby Brendan. Molly Coddled. Oh, you're dropping, you know, I think we've got the truth parrot here today because you're dropping truth bombs here. I can't believe that. Wow.

Molly Coddled. The youngest in our family, Tim, mom used to call him Chickadee. He was the only one who was allowed sugar in his tea. I know what it's like. She wanted to stunt his growth. She wanted to keep him small. I was just saying, you know, that's Brendan. You know what we used to call him when I was growing up?

What's that? Snow pea. Snow pea? Did you? Yeah. Why? I don't know. We just go and go see snow pea. Maybe because it's Paul, snow pea, pea. And you're like a bit of, I don't know. We just go, we're going to go see Snowpea. Maybe because it's Paul, Snowpea, Pea. And you're like a bit of, I don't know. You don't remember that? No.

What about when my sister vomited in your car? Oh, that I remember. Yeah. You got any tips for getting vomit out of cars? Sell the car. Always, always with the knowledge. That was a fantastic remark. Are we going to get that mic?

Just a tiny bit. So he's a no-mic or he's not used to this. Yeah. Well, for a first podcast appearance, you've got to say the guy is. Oh, a natural. Yeah. Absolutely smashing it. Are you having a good time? Having a great time.

I don't know what you're talking about, but having a great time. We're literally talking about your family. How can you be lost on this? So maybe Brendan. Who is this Brendan guy we're talking about? Uncle Brendan. Decent. Decent. God, these are good men. Tommy, what did you say?

You're Molly Coddell. I said Molly Coddell, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would say prosecutor. Oh, oh, God. That's more descriptive. Is that his job? Am I allowed to say that?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's in the public. He's a prosecutor. Oh, OK. I'm not going to say that? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's in the public. He's right. Okay.

Oh, okay. I'm not going to say that. I would say, well, I said about baby Brendan, he is what's, what's, what was something hard worker very, um, like industrious, diligent. That's a nice one. Yeah. Diligent, diligent, lovely. Well, here we go.

Smoking hot. Let's have a bit of a nice one. A bit of variety. How about Stoic? Ooh, is he Stoic? Do you think he doesn't share his emotions? There is a Stoicism there. So he's the opposite of Terry, whose emotions are all on the surface. Stoic's like Dilf though. No, it means something else. What does Stoic mean?

It means a stony hard dick, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. So cover your ears. This is not okay. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Paul. This is outrageous. He's from a beautiful country town where swearing is forbidden. And then he comes on this show and you're letting loose. He's having a little rum springer. What is this? Welcome to Podcastland. Yeah. It's the wild west.

Oh my God. Derek and Clive over here. We need them. Mike kind of reference. Really crew. Really blue. Really blue. Apologies. Paul. I was going to say charming for him.

Is he charming? Yes, very. There you go. There you go. I'm getting a real picture of the family now. So these, the five Cumble boys. Yep. Did they have like a reputation about town?

Would you like to go? Actually, Razor scooters, Paul's in the middle of the other ones flanking. They're in the V. Yeah, flying V. I can answer that because I asked each of my brothers in the last 24 hours one word to describe them. Oh, perfect. You did?

I did. What? I did. Wow. And they all started with intelligent. This is talking about themselves? About themselves. I said, you've got one word to talk about yourself, intelligent.

And then I didn't accept that. So they then said, good looking. Good looking. Well, no, no, you talk about language. And then I thought I'm just going to be useless. I'd have to make up things myself. Yeah. In the photos, cause they all want to be the tallest.

They're all on the tippy toes. They're climbing up there. Yeah. But I'm always the tallest. You are the tallest. That's all on the tippy toes. They're climbing up there. Yeah. But I'm always the tallest. You are the tallest. That's because I stand on my toes in the photo. Were you athletic? Were you like an athletic family?

The youngest two were good runners, athletic. The two oldest, not at all. Right. Yeah. Heads buried in books. Yeah. I was going to say it seems to be a very, very thinky big, big brain family. Yes.

Big brains. You know, you say about big brains. He says absolutely nothing at all about big brains. Let's move the conversation on Tom. So do we get a brain, the larger the nuts. You make me sick. It's disgusting. I'm really sorry about that.

I can't believe you heard that. Dirty, dirty birdie. So they call him dirty puppy. So it's like, you know, the Spice Girls. I've heard of them. Yeah. Yeah. Dirty, dirty birdie. So they call him dirty pappy. So it's like, you know the Spice Girls? I've heard of them. Yeah, yeah, so he's dirty pappy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm eye pappy. Crazy pappy, smart pappy. What is it? I'm eye pappy because I've got glasses.

Oh, eye pappy. Eye pappy. Eye pappy. Eye pappy. Paul, do we get to talk about your nephew? How does the family deal with nephew Sam? Well, we rarely acknowledge him. You know, when the family get together,

they talk about, you know, they're intelligent, they're good looking, they've got a good sense of humour, but they say it hasn't been carried on in the genes. Oh my God, what a blast. Are you serious? This is not Comedy Central Rose Battle here. Sorry, Uncle Paul, remind me, what series of Taskmaster were you serious? This is not Comedy Central Rose Battle here. Sorry Uncle Paul, remind me what series of Taskmaster were you on? When we did our first TV pilot, unsuccessful TV pilot, we had an opening joke.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The pilot was successful. It just wasn't continued on to be anything else. Yeah, okay, okay. The pilot in itself happened and was a success. Our first sketch was called Our Dads. And then our dads just walked out and waved and then went off. That was the bit. And they had like Tom's dad and Ben's dad on their jumpers. Oh, lovely. And during rehearsal, they were there for the day and the director and our agent sent our dads off to the green room because they said we were

showing off in front of them and not concentrating enough on the show. We got so excited that our dads were on set. They were like, you've been showing off since your dads have got here, so they're going to have to go. They went and sat in the dressing room for the rest of the day. Oh, that's their fault for just ruling so much. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah. I've worked with my dad. We did a play together. Did you? What is your dad? What does your dad do? We know he's not the prosecutor. No, no, he's retired now, but he's a horticulturist. Is he? Oh, so you're a nepo baby. Oh, I am not. Yeah, we've got a few liches, a few free liches and mangoes on the side, but I think that makes me, you know. Wowie. Quite the green room. So how come he was doing a play with you?

Sorry? I don't know. We just, I was doing a play at the time. I was like kind of psycho at the time. And it was a play where I played, did you say this one? Where I was the alien? I played an alien called Zan Zoop and it was like Dr. Phil.

Right. So basically it was an alien who wanted to become the ruler of his planet. But his dad is the king and he says, well, you're not ready to rule yet. But let's just practice on another planet. So he sends me to earth to see if I can fix people's problems.

And so I would help people and I was all painted green, right? Yeah. Green with these stalked eyes and, um, you did green face. Sorry. Oh no, no, he's allowed to cause his dad's a gardener. Oh, okay. Okay. You're allowed to go green fingers.

If you're it's, it's part of his culture. That's fine. Horse culture. But yeah. So, and then at the very end of the show, so it's like, I've got to prove myself by helping people on earth. And then my dad comes on at the end, but we find out it's all been a ruse. He only sent me to earth to investigate it for this minerals. And like I, and he's tricked me and he wants to turn earth into a deep space casino.

Whoa. And then I was this pre avatar. Sorry? Did James Cameron see this and just rip it off? This is unobtainium. This is like the plot of Avatar. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I guess great minds think alike. I cannot wait for the new Avatar.

I think it's fire. I fell off after the first one. I watched the first one. I fell off 10 minutes into the first one. Yeah, that's fair. I've not seen... How many Avatar? No.

Oh, I tell you what, let's go through all the Avatar's and say one word to describe them. As in the names of the Navi themselves or? So that was a play I did with my dad. He was all painted green and he came on stage with my friend Aaron. And I think he might have been painted as well. Wow. How long are you in makeup for to put, you know, how long is your dad, your poor dad

having to be painted green? It was crazy. This was some young boy shit. So had you written the play? Yeah. With my friends, Aaron and Tom. Terry didn't wash for weeks after that, did he? He's all green. He's green.

With a bit of a green Terry. Yeah, so am I talking too much? No, no, that's not, that's the podcast. That's the first word we should have used to describe Terry. Green. He is still green. That's what most people say about Terry. Famous. There goes green Terry. I didn't tell you what your mum said about him.

What did you say? Because I got to text them from Terry later to say that Sue said the word that she would use is cute. How long have Terry and Sue been together? Anyone know? About 40 years. That's good, isn't it? To still find each other cute after 40 years.

There's a lot of... yeah, but the drink helps. Yeah. Yeah. And Paul, have you ever performed? Were you ever on the stage? No, no, no school production, except life as a stage. Yeah. All the world's stage.

Yeah. The immortal bar. No, you never in the play or anything like that. Actually, I was a play called Charlie's Aunt. When I was about 18, I think, 18, 20. And that's it. I hadn't been asked back. Tell us about Charlie's Aunt.

I can't remember, it's too old. Were you Charlie? No, I was Charlie. Oh, there you go. You had a lead role in the play, I never knew this. Yeah. See, Sam, you've never been interested. The tree doesn't fall.

You've never asked me the questions. Do you know what tree doesn't fall far from the apple? Charlie's Aunt. Wow, was it tree doesn't fall far from the apple? Charlie's heart. Wow, was it risque? Was it the 80s? Is it like hair? Everyone?

Was it a bit? Yeah, was it a bit like the university? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was everyone in the nude running around, body paint, that kind of thing? No, no, that was the earlier version. Right, sure. They sanitized your version. They did, yeah.

Yeah, so what was Charlie? I mean, obviously, you know, it's a British, a British farce. What's it? Like a bedroom swapping kind of. Have you seen my kipper? All of this stuff. Yeah.

It's behind the door. For we've truly learned the importance of being Charlie's aunt. Turn him down. Welcome to the way that goes wrong. I mean, the way that goes wrong. I mean the way that goes wrong. Oh, this guy just, again. Again. Yeah.

Do you want to swap? He was going there with my elbow. Parky, please. I can't help myself. He's slowly working his way down your arm. He is, yeah. He's going to be sucking it a few years. He's going to make one hell of an uncle.

I was trying to suck my fingernails off. Suck the green paint off him. Yeah. see in a few years, he's going to make one hell of an uncle. Trying to suck my fingernails off. The green paint often. He's just trying to get to Paul. That's all. Eat my way to Paul. I always feel sorry for my family having to watch me do anything.

Cause it must be, it must be weird. Is it weird watching Sam do things? Well, I do things. We mean like a play. Things on TV. Yeah. Yeah. Do you go and watch him live?

And it's like, can you ever truly, can you ever let go of the fact that you're his uncle though? It's like, I'd find that hard to do, I think. Like when my mom comes to see me do stuff, I always think you're not really gonna be able to enjoy it because you're my mom. Yeah. Because you're proud of him, no matter how bad you are, she's proud of you. Exactly that.

We feel the same about Sam. Yeah, it's true. I feel like they would always come. Auntie Jenny and Uncle Paul would always come and it was like some of the worst shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We said they were okay. Yeah, they always were. I think Auntie Jenny goes, interesting. It was interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We said they were OK. Yeah, they always were. And they go, I think Jenny goes, interesting. It was interesting. Yeah, it was very interesting.

But they even like that tent in Adelaide, they've come to some weird times. We followed whenever we can, we go and watch performances. Sam, never get a free ticket. What? Never get invited to the green room. Wait, I've not even invited after the show to say hello. I bring him backstage. You've had some, You've had some stuff.

Who have you introduced him to? Which top celebs that you've been hanging out with that you've introduced Paul to? Apart from Present Company. You'll have to tell me. We met Paul Williams. Oh, we did meet Paul Williams. You've introduced him to celebs?

That's great. Yeah, absolutely. I can introduce you to some celebs. I've got a few on the MyRollodex. Yeah, you know what I mean? We leave on Sunday. This time. A Saturday Celeb.

Who's the most, yeah, who's the most famous person you can get to by Saturday? Oh my gosh. Wow. That's such a good question. I think I could get you to meet Emma Corran from the crayon. Whoa. Cause I know the cafe she goes to every morning. No, no, no, no.

No, we're not having that. No, no, no. Have you ever spoken to her? No, no, no, no, no, no. Right. So you no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Here we go. There we go. We got a trophy for you. The Game Academy. There we go. Present. It's the joke of the podcast from my uncle Paul. Finally the joke arrived. Yes. Well done. Wow. Yeah. This has been so, thanks for doing this. He wanted the full experience of London. Yeah, this is great. Do a podcast. Everyone's podcasting in London. Yeah. You can't come to London and not podcast. I've discovered it. Look, it's easy. Anyone could do it. Yeah, that's it.

Anyone could podcast. So we're talking celebrities that you actually know because I'm not going to accept, oh, I've seen them in a cafe and I could get up to them. That's not fair. Well, to me, everyone is a celebrity, a nurse, a teacher. Wisdom. The wisdom is passed on. An uncle.

The wisdom is passed on. Oh, hold on. What? Sam, are you an uncle? No, no. You're not yet an uncle. No, not yet. No Sam? Are you an uncle? No, no, you know, you know, yeah, no, no, no, no, you know, well, I'm not in a, but I may be a spiritual uncle to some people. Yeah. I mean, we see you. You're my little guy.

What's that little guy? Is that little guy, Eric Rushton, Russian, this guy? Yeah, I know Eric. I think I'm a spiritual uncle to him. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I let him stay in my flat when I went to Australia for a month. That's nice. And when I got back just under the electricity box, there was just one Cheerio. Okay. He's a borrower as well. That was his hula hoop he'd been working out that morning. Big shout out to Eric Rushton, one of the funniest guys. Eric Rushton. Oh my god. Yeah, we love Eric Rushton. Yeah. We're waiting to Eric Rushton. Oh my God, so good. Yeah, we love Eric Rushton.

We're waiting to, cause he's gonna come on the podcast, but we're waiting for his aunt to be free. A diary incredibly in chock-a-block, yeah. So here's my next question for Uncle Paul. If you were to start your own podcast, which look, all it takes, microphones, a sette, someone to talk to, what would you go for as a topic?

What would the- What's the format? What's the, yeah. What's your subject? What's the- Yeah. What's your subject matter that you think, here we go, I could pod on that? Advice for life. Advice for life.

Advice for life. Yeah, life for life. I love that. Evuncular advice for life. You know, you could be the sort of internet's uncle. Oh, I love that. So if, you know, if people need, yeah, that's good. And could you finish us off, please?

Excuse me? Wait, wait. All right. I'm so not- I don't ask that. people need. Yeah, that's good. Could you finish us off? Excuse me? I don't like that. That sort of podcast is not good. I don't like that. I don't like that. I apologise and Paul even forced so. Let me finish.

No, no, no. That's what's up top. Could you finish us off with some wisdom for life for us today? Well, one for each of the each of the puppies. Yeah. Give us one little piece of advice based on the short conversation you've had with us here. Okay. So who are you going to go to first?

Um, I'm not going to go to any of you. My advice for life is enjoy life. Your laughter. Yes. Your fun. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you guys have got it all together.

Sorry, Sam. I thought I're fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys have got it all together. Sorry, Sam. I thought I was in on that. There was no need to cut Sam out of that advice, but I really enjoy the idea. He needs it. He needs a lot of advice. He's just playing up to this. You know, some of the texts this guy has sent to me have just really, really big. What kind of texts is he sending you?

What kind of mean stuff is he sending you? That's like personal. No, it's not mean. It's like really nice stuff. Like it's just such a supportive, yeah, just amazing person to me. That's lovely. But then in public, he wants nothing to do with you. That's our family though.

We like to do that a bit. Sure. Be the rebeying a bit of the air. It's better the other way around, isn't it? And those people who pretend they're your friend, you know, to sort of show that, you know, when they're being filmed. Right here, mate. Do the podcast. Soon as the cameras are off. Separate rooms.

Really mean spirited tech. Crosby, Stills and Nash. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's been an absolute pleasure. Can we always give you one bit of advice? Oh, please. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So we'll just quickly whisper it. Oh, yeah.

Okay. We're all gonna say at once to my uncle Paul. Okay. Just like this. Yeah, be yourself. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. Okay.

Okay. We have some advice for you, Uncle Paul. We just got together and yeah. I'm looking forward to your wisdom. Yeah. One, two, three, keep being you. You're the best. We love you. Uncle Paul. Thank you all. Thank you Paul, everybody. Uncle Paul. And of course, Sam Campbell. Oh, thank you for having me. Yeah, what a pleasure. So where can people find you if they want to find you and where can people find uncle Paul? Uncle Paul lives in Cairns. Oh! Come and visit me in Australia.

Oh, I'd love that. Right up the Gillies Highway. Clarky, that's not a euphemism. Don't take that as... Do not take that as an invite, Clarky. You nasty, nasty little man. And where can people find you if they want to find your comedy? Oh, just online.

Type in Sam, see what comes up. Sure, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Good old Uncle Sam. Yeah. But I also think, you know, make your own stuff as well. Don't be like looking and yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you want to do it, do what you have to do. Thanks so much for everything.

Find your own path. It's so true. And you know, your vibe attracts your tribe. Oh, I love that. Oh, lovely. Yeah. More wisdom. So much wisdom. Yeah. That's why I spend a lot of time with you. I told you that before the show.

Favorite tribes? For me, it's going to be the Pygmies and the Alapations. Got to be the Aztecs. The Sioux. The Sioux. Of course. Yeah. Very litigious.

And one of the other ones. One of the other tribes. Oh, I can't, can't think of any. Give us a tribe. Sure, the Amazonians, come on. The great tribe, Amazonians, yeah. The wild tribes. The wild tribes, who are they?

I don't know. No further questions. No follow up questions. My favourite tribe haven't been discovered yet. That's the whole thing, keep searching. Fantastic, oh and also My favorite tribe haven't been discovered yet. That's the point. Keep searching. Fantastic. Also thank you to my auntie, Jenny. Thank you.

She's not allowed, you want to come on? You're the sun hero of the world. Do you want to come on for just to say a bit of wisdom? No. No, that's fair enough. Thank you uncle Paul, what a treat. Thank you. Thanks Sam.

Oh yeah, cheers, it was really fun. Loved that. And thanks to the team. Yeah, of course, always thanks to the team. We never thank them as policy. We'll cut that bit out. Don't worry, yeah. Cheers. It was really fun. I love that. And thanks to the team. Yeah, of course. Always thanks to the team. We never thank them as policy. We'll cut that bit out. Don't worry. That's gone. We don't acknowledge them.

This is the best. Has that turned on at all? Wow. What a great episode. Wow. The energy you get from spending time with an uncle, right? I mean, the listeners, you must feel energized now for spending time with a man with wisdom, with gravitas. I mean, what a guy. I loved him. I mean, Sam, fantastic, obviously, but Uncle Paul.

You can see why Sam's so good, you know, you can see where the lineage, you can see where he comes from. Absolutely. For a large part of that podcast, it felt like we were guests on Sam's podcast. Yeah, I think that's Sam's energy, isn't it? Very much Sam's skill. It really is. Phil. It really is. But yeah, Uncle Paul with a bullet. Wonderful stuff. So yes, thank you for listening. And remember all the stuff that we told you at the start of the episode. There's the Patreon, there's the live shows, there's following us on every type of social media available. So do all those things, but please keep listening and have a lovely day. Have an absolutely lovely day. Yeah, that's the main thing.

That is the main takeaway. It is the main thing actually. Just have a lovely day. And guys, seriously, call your uncle. Just check in with your uncle, right? It's really important. And if you did listen with your uncle, we'd love to know about it. Yeah, definitely.

All right, well, today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.