Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare ep 1602: How late is too late to say "Happy New Year"?

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Was Mystic Meg the end of an era? Could Madagascar happen in real life? Can you see Scotland from the Midlands? http://instagram.com/pappyscomedy https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - http://patreon.com/pappysflatshare UPCOMING FLATSHARE SLAMDOWNS: MONDAY FEBRUARY 23RD: SAM NICORESTI + STEVIE MARTIN TUESDAY FEBRUARY 24TH: MATT FORDE + AMY MASON Find tickets to all our live shows here - http://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Olivia Swash Technical expertise by  @AceMcRenegade ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greetings viewer dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode. It's the first one of 2026. It's Pappy's Flat Shair. Welcome back, everybody. Happy New Year. Yes. We love you. Do you say we love you? I did, yeah.

Clarkie panicked early doors. Leapers, creepers. And also, will you marry me? Happy New Year, will you marry me? Yeah, so welcome to the show, everybody. It's great to be back. It's great to be back in Clarkie's, flat. It's great to be back in person. What a joy. We've got a few flat-shear slamdowns happening very, very soon. They're happening in February. So we're going to tell you the dates of those now.

23rd of February and the 24th of February at our usual haunt, the Phoenix in Cavendish Square in London town. The guests for those are Stevie Martin and Sam Nicaresti. Absolutely fantastic. Two are the best. Two of the best. And we've got Matt Ford and Amy Mason on the 24th of Feb. A few first timers, a few old friends coming back. It's going to be fantastic. We've also got some more throughout the year. So keep watching our socials. We'll tell you where they're going to be.

And keep listening to the podcast. We'll also tell you where they're going to be there and then. Absolutely right. Now look, if you want to join us and support us, support your boys on their journey of podcasting to the grave, then you can get on to the Patreon. You can bung us some cash. Not even that much.

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Get on board, folks. Absolutely right. Well, this was a fun episode, is a Happy New Year special, so let's get into it. It's a brand new year. Yep. It is.

It's a brand new year. It's a brand new series. Okay. You came in today. Now, it's late January recording this. Yeah. This is going to go out in early February. Yes.

You came in today with a happy new year. Absolutely. Know my policy? What's your policy? Strong policy. Yeah. The first time you see someone in the year. Yeah.

That can't be right. Why not? What if the, if you're meeting someone for the first time in August? What if you say after the year? Yeah. What if you go to Santa's Grotto every year? Oh, that's a great example.

That is a fantastic example. You're right. So happy new year to Santa. Happy New Year for the Christmas. What an example to plug, Clarkie. Where did that come from? Who knows? You're right what you know, don't you?

You write what you know. All right. Santas, as in so many cases, is the loophole. No, no. There is the obvious cutoff of Jan. Oh. Oh, okay. When in Jan, and also with someone who...

When in Jan, eat a plan. That was always your... When in Jan, this is the plan. Okay. And also, someone who you are in contact with monthly. What? Like I'm not like... Don't gesture to me.

I'm not seeing my uncle for the... I don't know. I've got me my uncle's. What have you got for uncles? My uncle's father Christmas. I can. Sorry. I think you're complicating your plan here by saying this monthly. Who's got a subscription?

to a person when they're once a month I see my uncle once a year right okay you should just

see what at the Netflix sided I'm not hitting my uncle at the summer

you shouldn't be hit your uncle at all mate doesn't I did no I'm not

I'm not hit my uncle at the summer family get together with a happy new year

it's like it's like it's nice to see you punch first of the year but the

first time you see one in the new year and it's still new in Jan so

within January you're saying the first time you see them at any point, I mean, bear in mind, here's the thing. Now, go on. We've got another, another little ruffle in the problem. You've seen us all, including producer Olivia, you've seen us all on Zoom. Yes. You're not counting that.

No. You're counted face to face only. Yeah. I think that's fair. For the, for the contact of it. So wait, if you saw someone on, if you saw someone on Zoom, you're not saying anything. You're not saying Happy New Year. You can say it.

No, you can't. You can say it on Zoom if you want to. But when you're in person and there's contact, what's this? Contact you're initiated, by the way there, Tom. There's nothing happy about that new year. I'm my uncle's least favorite nephew. Uncle, cough.

So, yeah. And also, it's nice. Who's got a beef with it? Do you know what I mean? I don't know. This guy. No. He's got a beef with it.

If I did it a second time. If you saw me for a second time in person in January, and I said, Happy New Year, you'd be like, something's going on here. Someone's trying to convince themselves. Or Tom's Twins. Oh. He's Copperfield. He's prestige.

Yeah, yeah. He's Copperfield. His uncle. So, it's one of, like, it's something like that, basically. But who does, and also, it's such a good thing to, it's such a privilege. Happy New Year. For who? Both, the giver and the taker.

okay I don't think I've done it at all actually oh treat yourself well you want to try out for that come on I'd love a happy new year off you could you come in you here he got me right where it's pure it's it's a we're in a dark month Jan's hard hard sledding yeah that's true and it just you know it's a little little bit of light little social lubricant yeah oh I'm drunk as well yes that's why the reason I keep doing it's because I'm hammered it's happening you year somewhere I'm so drunk that I don't realize I've already said happy a year to you. It's really good to see both of you. I was just me here, Tom.

The staff in the off license are like, yeah, you said that to us yesterday. He's on another wet January. You know, I just think why not? It's good stuff. Don't restrict the good stuff. Yeah, you're right. You're right. We've got ages to go till Shrove Tuesday or Valentine's Day or any of the big,

you know, early in the year holidays, there's nothing going on in Jan. In Jan. Bleak. Tough times. Let's convince people it's happy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And yeah, I think the rules, the rule supply, don't abuse the rules.

Don't say it to Santa. You must say it. You'd be mental if you said it to Santa. You'd be absolutely mental. It's the most extreme example to go to. But then that's, you know what? That's what people like to do. They like to take an event Take a pastime and do the extreme version of it.

You know? You're watching Extreme Happy New Year. You're watching Extreme Happy New Year. How far down the year can you legitimately get away with a happy new year? I'm in the North Pole. You're watching Extreme Happy New Year. I'm about to say, it's New Year's Eve at 1159. I'm about to accost somebody with a Happy New Year and then say it again immediately afterwards.

Do you know what I'd like to do for charity? Okay. Yeah. What's the problem of charity? I'm saying for charity to kind of carbon offset what I'm about to suggest because it's carbon heavy. I would like to. I'd like to, that's how charity goes. I'd like to burn a big pile of tyres.

Yeah. It'll be a tree, charity. It'll be a chariotry. Sure. Charit. Is there a, is there somewhere called Charitry? It should be. It's got to be.

Charitry. Okay. So your Charitry event is going to be. Can I say, Happy New Year? already the carbon footprint's huge I can honestly you're like you're like Taylor Swift for their private jet this is disgusting

can I say happy new year after drinking seven bottles of wine no it's not that it's um can you you basically are chasing the new year yes because you know the biggest buzz is when have you got like friends in Australia I've got a friend in Australia who every new year's Eve yeah I text and say what's the how's 2027 looking

or whatever it'll be And it's like that's what I'll do this year. And they're like, oh, it looks great. And it's like, cool, can't wait to see it. It's like lovely, lovely bit of business. You chase, basically, you start where the new year comes in. And you chase the new year across the globe. Holy shit, you're doing this on foot.

Well, no, that's the carbon footprint comes in. Ah. I've got coal powered shoes. No. Obviously, you're going to be, you're going to be using planes, trains, and automobiles, which is the carbon. That's why we need the carbon offset. Yeah.

But it's a fun thing. fun vid man. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fun. That's a fun vid for travel TikTok, isn't it? If we were big influencers, then we'd be up there doing it. Yeah.

In the jet. I mean, I don't even know. I've got no idea of where the time zones are, so I don't even know where you start. But is it, I mean, is it over there. Over there. No, no, no. To our right.

Yeah, that's, if you're looking at Scotland. If you're looking at Scotland. I'm not. But, okay. If you're stood in the UK looking at Scotland, to your right. Well, if you're stood in the UK looking at Scotland, you're in Scotland. No, no, no, put yourself in the Midlands. Yeah, I'd rather not.

This plan gets worse and worse. Look up at the sky. Shout, happy new year. We're all in the Midlands, but some of us are looking at Scotland. It's the famous quote, isn't it? It's the famous quote. Put yourself in the Midlands, look at Scotland, Off to your right is the, here come the time zones.

Yeah. Then they pass through. That's a great way to work time. That can't be right, can it? Because Greenwich is Greenwich the middle? Oh. Yeah. What's happening?

No, it isn't. No, we're in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. We're in the middle. Greenwich famously in the Midlands. Do you think the Midlands are in the middle of the world, by the way? Well, it's not far off.

Because we're at the, Greenwich is the Meridian. Okay. Yeah. And the Midlands is just off to the side of Greenwich, isn't it? We're from the West Meritlands. So famously from West Meridian. So you're going to start there. You're going to start in Wolverhampton, a Wolverhampton boy.

I don't know why I've put myself in the Midlands. No, no, no. You're starting as far right as you can. Well, listen. You've got to go with the weather wind's blowing, haven't you? You put a flag of a lamp post in every country. Very much to Ella Breverman here. This is it.

Well, you're a Breverman than me. Anyway, so I think you should. You start, you start, because you're going to have to donate so much to charity for that. No, because does New Zealand get it before Australia or after, there's a line. Oh yeah, yeah. New Zealand gets it first. New Zealand should, yeah. New Zealand gets it first, doesn't it?

And then it goes through, it sweeps. So we start in New Zealand. I think, I think, I think. You could have said New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. There's a word for New Zealand. It's New Zealand. You said you didn't know where time zones come from.

So I'm helping you picture them. Oh, I said, well, yeah. Imagine you're in the Midlands, looking at Scotland. Yeah, yeah. Time zones start off to your right. Then they come through. That's what I'm saying. I see.

I see that. That's why I was there. But to the right of New Zealand. We're avoiding the word north so hard. I haven't, no, you know, famously I haven't learnt. Yeah. I know it's never each shredded wheat. I'm making it simple for it.

Yeah. This man's been to the Midlands and Scotland. Yeah. I've been to both places. You can't. It's good. Yeah. So, anyway.

blah blah to the further further from the side of New Zealand I think there's islands that get it first Pacific Islands the Pacific Islands I was in my head I was like is it is it Easter Island I don't think so but then it's like to we're doing quite well so anyway you're starting somewhere there and then off you go you whip round I reckon you could do the first for you by a very fast boat okay so you're on a very fast boat can I just ask are you with are you trying to find locals yes in each place to wish them a happy new year There's a challenge, Anika, vibe to it. Yeah.

And what you've, what you've cleverly done, Tom, is you've given yourself a month. So he can still say, Happy New Year's of people. Now I understand what you're doing then. That's very smart. 31 days around the world. You would mainline fireworks.

Think about the sheer amount of fireworks you would process in that day. You've got an entire day of firework displays. Have you thought about strepping the fireworks to your body? Being the human fire, you're part of the firework. That's, do you know what, that would be good. If you're strapped to a big old rocket, it's going over on you. It's hard. It's very hard.

I don't think it's what Katie Perry envisioned. Well, nice, you're in space. What are they there? You did go to space. It's very hard to have a meaningful, happy new year interaction if you're Wily Keoting through. Yeah, that's true. Are you handshaking? Are you hugging? Are you kissing what you're doing?

Depends on whatever the tradition is. Yeah, exactly. You're going to have to get. You're going to have to get. You go with the flag. Chicks are going to get intimate when you get the front. Oh. I really like this idea, Tom, by the way. It's good.

It's a good idea. Yeah. Could we pod it? I mean, I think you'd have to, you'd have to record it in some way, wouldn't you? Yeah. You'd have to. Is it for us to pod? No, not, I'm not going. Oh, okay.

You know, I don't. I'm glad you'll be in the Midlands. I'll be in the Midlands. The eye in the sky, as it's known. I'll be in a big tower in the Midlands. I'm going to go back live. I can't see anything. It's quite foggy.

I can't really see what's going on. I'm assuming. We're going back to Crosby and Solly Hall. Can you see Scotland yet? No. Can you see Easter Island? I never have been able to. No, I'm in Solly Hall.

I can barely see Solly Hall. Why am I here? I've actually just been looking. looking at my phone most of the time. Thank you, Matthew. Happy New Year. Kanichua. Where am I now?

He's still in New Zealand. Now, yeah, so that's good, though. And people could have, you know, like a little parry tracker. Oh, right? A little, you know, like a, so you've got a map of the world. Like, like if you're on a flight, you'd see where you were. Find my daddy. My family have the, find my daddy, you know, like you can track your iPhone.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So whenever I'm away from home, they, they, so I'll get text messages. you from them what they'll call and be like house why are you with that off once in it? Are you still in the office?

Can you come home please? We need you to cook our dinner. Tom I was going to talk about this. I was going to ask you a question. You know when you came in and you snapped a phone in half and put it in two different bins? Is that what's going on there? But there's some kind of

they've got to trackers on me. So I feel like I'm being tracked at all times which adds like a frisson so they call it find my daddy. So it'd be like that, basically. Yeah. So be like, where is he now? Everyone can follow it.

Because you can do it with Santa, can't you? You can do the, yeah. The Santa app. Happy news. The Santa, yeah. But let's not confuse it because, as you know, Santa is the loophole. But I'm kind of doing a, I'm following in Santa's footsteps, aren't I? In his carpent footprints.

Yeah. Like, that's kind of, it is kind of his vibe, isn't it, doing the world in the day? Now, somebody will know the answer to this. Oh, yeah. But how. This guy. Tom, this is why I'm asking you.

How actually feasible is it to do any of this? You know, I mean, how many time zones can you? It's going to get away from you at some point, isn't it? Yeah, it really is.

I feel like, because they're not just, they should, they're kind of almost stripes, but they're not quite, are they? They're like, they're stripes.

You have to go up and down the globe a bit as well as just going across. Yeah, because otherwise they'll be a lot of sea. Yeah. Happy he's like, happy to he hit to the Dolphins. Can he not be in charge of planning the trip? No, but I mean, listen, I don't think anybody in this room who should be in charge of planning the trip.

I don't know why you're like, oh, don't have Clark. Give me a map on a couple days. What's your alternative? You or me. How many times are there, for example? Loads. Yeah. But that's not a problem, is it?

There's hours. I think that's the key problem. Are they 24? No. Isn't it hours in a day? You go. 12 hours that, yeah, it's only a day. So you go 12 hours that way and 12 hours that way.

Yeah, but I don't think there's, I think there's, I don't think there's like, just like a simple band down the globe. Oh, I know it's not a simple band, but I'm saying 12 to your right. About, look, put yourself in the Midlands. Right, right, sorry. No, look up at Scotland. You imagine that? Yeah, I've got, up there.

So you're right, I think there's 12 and to the left, I think there's 12. Okay. And I think we're the midpoint. I've also thought of another loophole for you. Lovely. Chinese New Year. Oh my good Lord, I have to go back. Yeah.

Well, it just gives you a little bit of a little bit of a break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. So already, you don't have to worry about China. You know, you can just, you could think with China. So what are China doing when everyone else is doing New Year? Is it everyone doing New Year, apart from China? I don't know. You know, Tom, I've been nowhere.

Yeah. I've hardly been anywhere. You've been to the middle of the Scotland. Listen, I don't even celebrate New Year in my own house. So why are you asking me as the arbiter of where New Year is? celebrated and how. I know, you know, not everyone does Christmas, of course, but I think New Year is pretty,

is pretty, sort of globally acknowledged. Apart from China. Apart from China. Good, strong power play, that is fair play. Yeah. We've got a new year, China, not for me. Okay, fair play.

Don't mind it. Played by your own rules. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be really good at what year of the animal it was. Oh, yeah. It seemed really important back in the day. What are we on? Me, gin.

Gin, Jury after all. What are you on? It's completely gone for me now. How many of the, how many are there? Twelve that way. Twelve that way. Twenty-four animals. Imagine you're in Dudley Zoo.

Yeah, of course. Was there's three animals? How dare you actually? One of them died. One of them, at the other. There's only one enclosure. And that lion and that penguin did not get on. It wasn't like a Pixar movie.

Yes, they built the lion in a saddle. But it really didn't turn out. One member of the staff had watched Madagascar and made a terrible mistake. You put a lion next to us. Deborah, they're not going to do a funny dance. You start playing. I like to move it, move it. It's going to be a bloodbath, actually.

Oh, no. Oh, dear. It's happened again. Obviously, you like to do that when you're sitting down with your kids. Listen, let me tell you how this would go in real life, right? These two would be tearing each other. Let me go on YouTube. Okay, watch this now.

Yeah. So anyway There's definitely I don't even want to get into it No I think I'd start to cross over into The horoscope I think I'd get confused

Monkey basically I know there's the year of the monkey I'm very confident with that I think I'm the rat There's the goat There's the monkey Here we go There's the pig

Horse Oh God here we go There we go Absolute experts over here There's twins There's the bull Oh, twins No

That's horoscope Yeah, yeah Okay Okay All right Let's I like to move it I like to move it

I like to move it A Libra's got into the penguin enclosure How much at you Do you ever or did you ever Do you ever or did you ever follow that that Horoscopes? Would you ever read them and think You know

Never. Never ever I've always taken the I've always taken the I feel feel like it gives me some kind of intellectual high ground on horoscopes to be like, no, thank you.

But I think that's inherited from... You also feel the same way about books, don't you? I feel like that about all things, actually. I feel like that about facts. No, no, no, no, thank you. I've told you already. 12 in that way. Now we'll end the conversation there.

And I am the middle. I am the midlands. No, I've never. And obviously, I'm trying to think if I've ever, like, I think it was a family thing. I think it was seen as a kind of, like, I really wanted to know where it was good there, because you said obviously. So it's like, what obvious thing you're going to tell us? Well, I was going to say, obviously, I've had, like, friends and people who have taken it very seriously.

Right. Okay. But then I was like, is that very obvious? I don't know if everyone has someone in their life who's taking it very seriously. I think everybody knows at least one person who, you know, thinks a certain day is their unlucky day, or believes in a crystal or... I mean, it's a mad old vibe. It's a mad old vibe what's going on with the horoscopes.

Why not, though? Yeah. I think absolutely... It's a lovely bit of fun. Yeah. It's a bit like the end of Life of Pie, isn't it? It's like, it might not be true, but it's more fun if it is. Right?

Yes. You know? I think so. Oh, Life of Pie. There you go. Okay. You know the book... Do you know what I was thinking about?

What? the film Requiem for a dream because it was directed by Darren Aronofsky who directed pie He made a movie called pie And I was like, The end of Requiem for a dream

It's a lovely bit of business Real life-affirming stuff Woman gets sectioned Poor girl goes into sex work Guy gets his arms sewn off Because it's gone septic It may not be true But I choose to believe it

I choose to believe this life of Birmingham. You honestly, you shot me one of it. I haven't seen that look since, well, it must have been last year. Happy New Year, by the way. But you shot me on this because it looks where I was like, what have I done wrong here? What have I done wrong?

Wow. Okay, you want to do with that? Okay, okay, okay. I'll lock it. Maybe. Um, yes, no. I mean, I know, it also feels like, it was always kind of

for us it was Russell Grant yeah oh yeah if you're a kid of a certain age or if you were born in the early 80s then horoscopes were intrinsically linked with quite an odd kind of vibe and then Mystic Meg yeah

then Mystic Meg came along but was Mystic wasn't Mystic Meg more of a crystal ball type person yeah she was but she was also to do she did the horoscopes and stuff and she also was connected to the lottery That's why I chiefly go to his with the lottery. And it feels, I don't know, that felt like a bum stare, I think.

If you're starting out with the National Lottery and you want to be taken quite seriously. It's a tough one. It's a bit weird to bring in Mystic. Yeah. It'll be like bringing in like a witch doctor or something, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah. To do a rain dance. It's a weird, in the meeting for someone to go,

me out on this what if we bring in mystic make it's like oh what okay it's an odd decision and would she am I right remembering that she'd kind of go 12 is a good one yeah she did say 12 once yeah

I remember that she went 12 to the left 12 to the right that was her dance that was the single she released to cash in on the line 12 to the left of me 12 to the right

And I'm trying to smash up with the Thunderball. She did say 12, yeah. And people in living rooms around the country would go, she said 12, you know, cups of tea would go fly in the air and go fireworks. It's parry would get on a plane and fly to Fiji. All kinds of stuff would happen when Mystic makes it 12. I'm glad I did remember.

that right. Yeah, yeah, you are remembering that right. It feels like Mystic Meg, the last of a sort of dying breed of sort of eccentrics that we allowed on the telly. Yes. I think the people who are allowed on the telly these days tend to be very much straight down the middle piece, you know, like sort of, they're kind of every man, every woman figures, right? That's kind of what's going on. Whereas you've got your, you know, you've got your Mr. Motivators, you've got your Mystic Megs, you've got your Russell Grants, you've even got your Jowell's brand dress. You know, they're sort of lovable oddballs Who do one thing

If they weren't on the television They'd be in a city centre kind of shouting Yes, absolutely Well, campaigning in Josh Brandre's case But yeah Do you think there were like a large group of mystic Like there was a mystic John And there was like a mystic Jenny

And like I can't believe it And it's like Meg's the one who broke through And it's like fair play to Meg To be the mystic Yeah, fair play to Meg actually. She worked harder than all of us. Like there was a circuit. It was a circuit like the open spot

circuit and somebody gets the big gig. Yeah. It's only going to be one of the, you know, it's only going to be one of us and fair play it was Meg. None of us saw it coming, ironically. My catchphrase is 11, he's his 13. You know, he was just so close. You know, she was the one who really had it. She cracked it, man.

But Meg's, when, she was out and about not being mystic meg yeah do you think she was able to just disappear amongst that's a real crazy listen no i don't i just blew clark his mind whoa we're back to david put her cloak on and then just it just it sort of disappears to the ground is trick like basically if meg's in the off license do you think can i get her to buy booze for me because i'm bar can she nick me a couple of bottles of gray goose without anyone notice is she getting noticed in the in the in the off license Do you think if she's not got the wig on and if she's not got you know yeah exactly like I don't think like obviously I wouldn't I'm so bad at recognising people I had a coffee yesterday

next to someone who's next to someone who may or may not have been Ricky Jervais now Ricky Javis is obviously one of the most recognisable men in the country yeah and I still you went up to went garlic bread so how he reacted I was next to for 20 minutes and I got up and had a good look and got sat back down. You got up just to have a look. I got to have a look. I did a circuit of him. I was very subtle.

I had to get something at my bag. It doesn't sound subtle. I had to get something at my bag. So instead of leaning over, I got up and walked around and got some of the bag so I could look directly. I didn't like stare at him as I was looking at my bag. Yeah. Got out a copy of Harry Potter said,

Crazy Book, but I love her views. Just sort of if you twitched a little bit. No, I still don't know. No. Got a stapler out in a jelly Anything for this? You've been carrying one round for years Your mistake, because you've been carrying a

statement in a jelly for years. You should have carried around a photo of Ricky Jave. That's why it should have done. But I still don't know if it's him or not. I can tell you now it wasn't. That's how bad I know it. No, we know. We know from the time

you told me to chase a man down the street because he thought it was Stephen Spielberg. It was just an old man in a cap. an old man, Nicket was Tom. In my defence, he did have a white beard and a baseball cap.

All the signs were there. That can't be your defence, Tom. I'm sorry to say. It was a close encounter of the worst kind. I just chased to go into a haberdashes.

Uh-oh. By the way, what was I going to say? Hey, Amistad. You know, Hamistad. Rick, we have for a dream.

Oh, sorry. Oh, no. Not one of yours. Sorry. Very good. You must admit. Very good. Happy New Year.

So, anyway. Would Meg? Could Meg pass? I think that. I think she must have had a very nice life because I think she could have disappeared. Whereas, Mr. Motivator, you take off his Unitard. Yeah.

He's getting arrested. Sadly, he still recognisable. Like him in civilians. was a good morning. Mr. Motivating, you're very motivated. Can I just say happy new year? Let me shake you by the hand. Mr Motivator in civilian clothes is still getting recognised, I think.

Right. Do you not? Do you think Mr. Motivator in like a jumper and jeans is getting recognised? No bandana. No bandana, no Unitard. Jumper and jeans. Yeah, maybe. No.

I think you're right. I think, well, I think it'd be... Well, you're not recognising. No, I would.

I would. You could circle him as many times as you like. You give some, you have to be really, really looking at him going. Yes, maybe motivators in the same camp.

Because if the answer to, are you Mr. Motivator is no, you're not finishing that sandwich, you're leaving the cafe immediately. I can only apologize. You look great, by the way.

Whatever you're doing. You're Mr. Motivator. Not I'm Ricky Chabey. But I get this all the time. Jelly. Jelly's much. Yeah, so actually Megan Motivator, that's the dream basically.

Megan Motivator. Was that her full name? Mystic Meg and Mr. Motivator. Yeah. Mystic Meg and Mr. Motivator could hit the road and be out on the streets and no one would really recognize them. I think that's true. Yeah.

Yeah. Because without the lipstick and the wig. Yeah. I have no concept of what Mystic Meg looks like. In 2026, we're saying Mystic Meg and Mr. Motivate. of the dream. I think, no,

I think we need to bring, I know it's happy new year, but which year? Let's clip it up. This is good. Topical stuff. No, I think we need to come up with the next big,

you know, because we've had, we've had your motivator. We've had your Mystic Meg. Yeah. You've had your Bob Carol G's and spit the dog. You know, that kind of,

these people who are like, that you've had these guys. So old. Such old references. But it's because it's a dying breed. And I think, I stand by what I say. I think Meg was one of the,

the last of that of that gang yeah you know get the eccentric's back who who could it be who are the who are the eccentrics what can i just say though the eccentric's on telly you're rolling a dice it's it's more often than not it breaks it breaks bad and you go do remember that eccentric that we had on the telly yeah didn't want to do a background check on that eccentric like it breaks bad a lot of a lot of times yeah he was so eccentric he's thinking he's Imprisoned. A lot of them and you go, well, but they were on telly and eccentric. It's like, yeah, they were.

That's a good. And we all just went as a country, went, oh, that's a bit of fun. And that, that I think is the problem with the centrics on the telly. Yeah. So Motivator and Meg, with the two of the good eggs. Yes. Well, I don't know that because I've literally not seen a news article about either of them for about 15 years. Well, they've disappeared.

So we don't know what's happened. Oh, we don't know what's happened. We can find that out since. if it does turn out they're broken bad we just won't mention it yeah let's just not mention it but yes you're right it has to be a very carefully cultivated

it has to be something yeah the problem is what was good about those people is it felt authentic to them you know yeah but I don't think you whereas if you're sort of you know it's not like the anorac from CBBC which is a guy playing the character

well look Joe Wicks right Yes. It's kind of our modern day Mr. Motivator. Yes. In that, if someone's going to lead a national warm up, it'd be Joe Wicks, right? Whereas like 15 years ago, the answer to that question would have been Mr. Motivator. Yeah. Before that, yeah, like, pardon?

50. 5.0, maybe. Which time's only you in right now? But it does, it does feel like we're allowed kind of, you have one person who, it's like, who would cook the nation and meal. Yeah. So for a long time it was Jamie. Yeah. I don't know who it is now.

I think Gordon's still cooking meals, isn't he? For the nation, though. Yeah, it's a good point. Who's cooking meals for the nation? Who's going to cook the nation's meal? Nigella. Possibly Nigella, yeah. Oh, I miss Ainslie, Harriet.

He was a good... Yeah, so for a while it would have been Ainslie. Yeah. And... He was bridging the gap. But who's leading the warm up before we eat the meal? Yeah. In like your national events.

What? Who's helping us burn off the calories before? That's a better way. The pre-meal workout. Work up an app, well, what are we doing? Working up an appetite or burning off the calories. Either way. Yeah.

And then, uh, that's Joe, he's Joe Wicks. Joe Wicks. Yeah, yeah, John Wick. Joe Wicks. Yeah. John Wicks. John Wicks killing us after the meal. And then, but.

But then who is reading our fortune? Because I don't know if we've got, we haven't got a spooky, we haven't got a spooky woo-woo. Our spooky woo-woo at the moment is Fern Cotton. Right. Isn't she? Fern Cotton's happy place where she's like, I know this is sort of quackery, but I'm going to do a podcast about it.

Okay. She's our spooky woo. But again, she plays with a very straight bat as well. Even though she's spooky woo-woo, she's got like, you know, she's definitely still a person of the people. Yeah. you know she's not an oddball she's not an eccentric

I don't think I think it's too late in the career to go actually by the way I'm mad she can't become weird Barbie now it's too late in the day too late in the day you need someone to come along but maybe maybe this is so have we identified a gap in the market and is

is it our job to step up I've worked I've just remembered who I think is the is the eccentric who the nation took to its bosom in a way for the modern day. Right. Francis Borghua.

Okay. Right? The train guy. The guy who has the train thing. Oh yes. You remember there was a period when everybody in the world just adored Francis Borgia.

You know? That I think is the... And do they still? Yeah, we still, but I mean, he really broke. He's just been into space. Has he? Yeah.

Did it really? Yeah. They've just done a show with him going to space. Fantastic. You see, there we go. He is, he is what I describe as.

suddenly you're back on boards you're back on bourgeois um yeah i think he is you know he's an eccentric yes there's authenticity you know yeah coming up the coming out the zoo but what he isn't doing is telling us our futures no and that's that's what we need yes that's true he's unless he's telling us what trains coming past well he's sort of telling you a future if you get on this train you know you get this train in the midlands you'll end up scotland okay is he the guy I'm going around the world with on New Year's Day? There we go. That's exactly right.

You and Bourgeois on a rocket ship. Interrailing. Interrailing. Yeah. Rocket ship just to make up tight here. Yeah. Oh, okay. Happy New Year with Francis Borgon.

And this guy is this drunk. Francis is just really quite concerned for the whole day. Yeah. Unfortunately, we did. We did the background checks and you're going alone, Francis. There's eccentric. Yeah, yeah. He was a bit too eccentric with a few too many people, unfortunately.

He's in a small enclosure in Dudley Jail. Well, there it is. And there it was. We're off and we're running. Forever shall be. Yeah, absolutely right. If you want to get in touch with us, by the way, and tell us about time zones.

We will read it, I assure you. Pappy's Flatshare at gmail.com for all your correspondence. Let us know how close to a good plan were we? Yeah. Has anybody? Yeah, is it possible? Has anyone done it? Have you done it?

Get in touch. Or do you know Francis Borgre? Get in touch. Get in touch. And also, did you have any New Year's stories or traditions? Let us know. Yes, please. Get in touch with those.

So don't forget as well. 23rd of February, 24th of February. Whoa, back to back. Absolutely, we're doing back to back. Monday and Tuesday. Tickets are available, by the way. I didn't say this at the start, but tickets are available from pappiescom

forward slash live. And there'll be a link in the show notes as well. So pappiescommody. Live to come and see. Stevie Martin, Sam Nicoreste, Matt Ford, and Amy Mason live at a flat share slam down. Oh, also we'll be there. Yes.

Yeah, let's not to be undersold. We are there as well. Should be a lot of fun. Yes, absolutely right. Thank you for tuning in. Clark, do you want to tell everyone that you love them? Love it here. Today's episode was produced by Olivia Swash.

Hello. We'll work out some sort of catchphrase for Olivia Swash as the year goes on. Cheers everyone. Bye!