Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy’s Flatshare ep 1611: Rob Copland “the un-hypnotisable man”

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

How do you injure yourself at the panto? What can you swap for 100 lego men? And which one of us should be the new poster boy for yoghurt? We’re joined by the brilliant Rob Copland to talk pulling your trousers up, DIY shops and his defiance against the noble art of hypnotherapy. Rob Copland - https://www.instagram.com/robertdcopland/ Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Olivia Swash with tech help from Max Brill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome one and all to a very exciting guest episode of Pappy's Flat Share. And what a guest. It was indeed. Rob Copland popped in, a winner of the recent Victoria Wood Award in Edinburgh, brilliant stand-up and good friend. Good friend.

Good, good friend. He's a fantastic guy. He's a force of nature. And if you like what Rob is peddling, then do go along to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year and try and check out his show. He's going to be on at 5.50 at the Tron. Oh, good venue, good time. Great time.

Great show. Before we get into that, if you're enjoying what we're doing and you're not yet a Patreon member, then get along to patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share and for four pounds a month. You get a whole lot of bonus stuff. You get discounts on our live shows.

You get an extra podcast every week. And also you get that warm, fuzzy feeling of supporting your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave. In the meantime, enjoy this. Hello everybody. Whoa baby. Whoa baby, that's right. Yes, indeed.

It's me, Matthew and him. Tom from Pappies to tell you all about the next flat share slam downs. It's big news. It's a Monday Tuesday one too. It's we're back to where we're back to the Phoenix. We're back to the Monday Tuesday one two. It's April. It's April.

It's the 27th. It's the 28th. Absolutely right. Who have we got on the 27th? Oh, we've got Chloe Radcliffe and Stu Laws. Yes, real-life couple. Real-life couple, which is always a treat. Always a joy.

Obviously, you always have a real-life thruple, me, Tom and Ben. But this time you've got a real-life thruple and a real-life couple. Chloe Radcliffe, Stuart Laws. International comedian, Chloe Radcliffe. Yeah. I guess international comedian, Stu Laws. Yeah, because, you know, they... They live in the world.

They do the... What do they call it? Is it nylon? New York and London. They flip between the two. Oh, I like that. We've got the nylon lifestyle. I've got a nylon lifestyle in that I wear men's lingerie.

Okay. Well, anyway, let's move on to Tuesday, April 28th, where we're going to be joined by the brilliant Sharon Juanjohie and Christopher Ford. Two absolute doozies, actually. It's going to be fantastic. We would love to see you there. International doozies, I'm going to say. Yeah, they could have two international doisies.

What they wear under their clothes, we do not know. Maybe we'll ask. There's only one way to find out. Have to have, hey? Come and see the shows. If you're a patron, you get discounted tickets. So join the Patreon, support your boys on their journey, as they podcast to the grave.

Absolutely right. All tickets are available from pappiescommonie.com forward slash live. So go there today and get them today. And don't delay. You can. Or did you go, Ken? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I went Canterbury.

Oh, you went to Canterbury, whatever it is, the Christ Church. So we're in the same. The Polytechnic is what they used to say. Oh, really? Yeah. I think it was one of those. Very stuffy. Very stussy.

But, yeah, Canterbury. Have you been back to Canterbury? Have you been back? Sorry, Class. Yeah, I have. I had. I thought you guys all met at uni. I have been back for gigs, yeah.

And a friend of mine actually did like an extra year. So I went back and visited him quite a bit during that year. It's a wild feeling going back. I find it, anytime I have to go back to Canterbury, walking down a street, assuming you're going to run into everybody you know, But you don't see anybody you know because I don't know anybody anymore. And you're like, dude, okay. Exactly.

Oh, no, I'm that guy. Yeah. Did you guys go to the penny theater? Was it pound a point on Thursdays when you were there? I lived around the corner from the penny theater. Did you really? They did the stupidest deal of all time once where it was bring a Lego man, get free beer and a burger. So we bought a hundred Lego men off eBay, lived like kings.

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

They had to give it you. You've one Lego man. That's insane. What idiot came up with that? That's glorious. Who's got Lego men laying around? No one. What's in it for them?

What's in it for them? I heard a stat that like every person on earth has on average 88 Lego bricks. Right? That's how much people have. That's good. And so some of those are going to be men. Yeah. Right?

Right? Well, and also, there's some real hoarders there, isn't there? Oh, yeah. It's everything out. It's not like you could go home now and find 88 Lego bricks. Yeah. I've got zero. I've got done.

Yeah. If you look through the drawers long enough, it's behind your ear. I've got it. I've got Joplo. Oh, yeah. Is that kind of like a crypto equivalent? Is that more than that?

Can you do something with that? You punch that up? It's more like the Scottish pound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is real Lego. It is. You've got to accept it actually. Yeah, yeah.

I will have to go check with my manager. It's Duplo the big bricks. Duplo's big boy bricks, yeah. For the little people. Yeah. I was get confused with the stickle bricks. We had quite a lot of stickle bricks and we were growing up. Sticker bricks still going.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's still going. I've got stickle bricks. Oh, I've got stickle bricks. You've got eight bricks. They stick in, you get like that central piece. Yeah. And you jam stuff in.

Yeah. A roller coaster is like a classic thing to build with that, right? Oh. Or are you thinking of Maca. Macano was like, these are like, these. My brother was two years older than me. And he got Macano and I got Juplo. There you go.

And I'm like, what? What's going to happen in the next year? I'm going to become like a scientist engine beer. I've gone from, I put brick on brick to like... Here's a crane. A fully working crane. Two years of child development and it's like skyrocketing of intelligence. Macarno's fucking hard go.

It's totally right. I never had Macarno. I think my parents were like, I never got to McCarne level. Is the route through, duplosticklebricks Lego Maccano? I think you're right. The Beatles. You're getting... Lego Macaena.

That's yeah, yeah. Lego Macano was so good together. Rick actually wrote some of your favorite Beatles songs. You don't know what you do. Yeah, Jufo's a fantastic drummer actually. People slag him off. He's like an automated drummer up there. He's like an automated drummer up there.

You ever see those guys in the shoe shops that are constantly hammering? Yeah. You see the guy that are colonial towns? You go back to your hometown and you visit after 10 years. He's still there. Still going. Yeah, yeah. Somebody kill me. He's lost the nose and stuff like that.

But he's when he tried to turn the hammer on himself. No, you don't. Help me. I wanted one of those really, really badly. I was upset. Whenever I would see those. Like a sex thing. No.

But thank you for asking. When I was a little kid, I was just upset. They looked so appealing to have like a little, you know, a little man or like a little man or constantly sort of hammering a nail. or like a little butcher moving a cleaver or something. It felt like the most enticing thing you could have. By the way, I wasn't allowed Lego. Does that explain everything?

No, no, I wasn't. No, the thing you're missing out in the hierarchy of these toys is Lego Technic, which had little pistons in it. It was the same as Lego, but it had little pistons in it. Do you remember that? Yeah. Lego Technic was like, if you're not quite, you know, you're not quite ready for Macaano, you're still Lego.

Lego Technic was what you had. Wow. And there's your pistons. There you go. That brings us back to Polytechnic. Canterbury Christ. There you go. You're like a polytechnic.

Stickle brick looked like a little, like a little bed of nails but made out of plastic. Yeah. You pushed those into each other. Oh, okay. Would you, you'd make bad figurines out of them? I'd make a gun. Huge torso.

Yeah. Really thin legs. Yeah. Yeah. They weren't great. That was the slogan they went away. Have you adopted that in your day to day? I'm made of stickle brick.

Imagine if that's how you find out. You ate so much as a kid. Oh no, they find out. I'm stickle brick. You would have to make guns because you would allow them. Yeah. It's kind of like in the line of fire. You know, when Malkovich has to make a wooden.

Is it a wooden? Out of there. He makes a wooden gun. Because his parents don't let him have guns at home? Not saying him not a fire for a while. His parents will not let him assassinate the president. Clarkie was not allowed, you know, Clarkie was not allowed magic or guns or anything that might be dangerous or anti-Christian. Oh, okay. Magic is anti-Christian?

Yes. Yeah. I think. Copperfield. Copperfield used to feel like a bit like the devil's work. Oh, he is the devil's work, I reckon. Yeah. But.

He's our next guest, actually. He's our next guest, actually. We'll, we'll scrub that. Make me disappear. Did you rebel quite hard? Did you go full waistcoat and turn in my staff? He did wear waistcoat? With the crucifix.

Christian. Pat, pull a gun out of it. I'm going to lose this mom. Deal with it. Two ways you can go if you buy a black cape. It's either illusionist or goth. And either way you're rebelling. Yeah, either way you're rebelling.

What kind of a kid were you? Did I have a cape? Did I have a cape? I used to pull my pyjama. up over my shoulders and run around the house. Yeah. We're arms out like that, like you've got little wings. You haven't changed much.

That would be the coolest stage look ever. If I was at a gig and the comedian ran on with his shoulders, with his trousers up above his shoulders, I'd be like, lock it in my eyes, here we go. You were saying that you're like, you're currently in the process of writing new material. Yeah, yeah. I am actually looking for a new stage look. Is this what you're going for?

I become a bit fixated on what the comedian should look like for the show. Kind of like each Bowie album has a different kind of iteration of Bowie or whatever. And I'm looking for my new look at the minute. I keep thinking about the Ramones. Okay. You like the idea of being like a Ramones-esque comedian. The thing about the Ramones though is there were loads of them who all kind of look the same. Are you going to get a load of people who all dressed like you?

It's not a bad show. It's not a bad idea, is it? Trying to physically reenact what I'm doing two feet behind me, like backing dancer comedians. I like that. Big stance as well. Big power stance. Legs apart. Is the equipment of that you get those poles and you have like figurines on you that kind of.

Oh, yeah, that do the action with me. Yeah. I actually thought about doing that in my first ever show because I had a bit in my... Said going up as a sketch group. No, no, no, no. What I was going to do is I was going to have, I had a routine about bucket hats and about how people who wear bucket hats only ever dance within the parameters of the bucket hat. Yeah.

Like, you know, they kind of like big cup, they come into sports field over them. So I was going to get like a wooden plank and then have like three bucket hats off each side. And then at the end of the show, lads would come up. and be like either side of me under the bucket heads. But we didn't do that. Didn't do that in the end. Just had a mosh pit instead on stage. But what, what, what, what, what, what, what kind of kid was I like?

My, my, people used to ask my mom, where's the off button? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I used to, I used to desperately want to break a bone in my body. I was desperate to snap a leg. or breaking that one, you? Didn't you just want that attention of turning up the scornbine like, check around, boys.

You were the celebrity for at least a month. Yeah. And injury, every time you have, do anything in the garden, you come in, you'd be like, it's broken. Yeah, exactly. Did you ever manage it? Did you ever get a plastic cast? I got a half cast.

Okay. I got a half cast like, I, I've got a half cast like, I, I've got that. Just like, oh, door shut in a car door. Wait. Wait. Yeah. Got my door. A door show.

I didn't do it. I didn't. Wait, my arm got shut in. in a car door and it hurt a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like through this bit and then someone shut the door and it like really squashed the arm. And so you had to have like an elbow cast. Yeah, it was like, well, it was half past the caris and then the rest was like, uh, bandage

wrapped. And I was like, oh, it's almost there. I'm almost officially cool. What's going on there? Were you giving directions? I can't remember. I can't remember. You just like that bit of the door. It is, yeah, the open, like the front hinge, not the back. Yeah.

That's like that that's the worst. That's the worst inch. Yeah. Closed to the fulcrum. Younger brother. My brother was better at everything than me and that frustrated me a lot. How many bones did he break? He was in traction, wasn't he?

He was like, look, I can do it all. I can do it all. Did my brother ever break a bone? No. I got stitches in between my eyes once. That was a good one. Oh. I got a theater seat to the face.

basically you're not good with hinges are you nothing that's got any kind of hinge moves this is during your mosh pit the end of your shirt no no this is a school trip to watch a Christmas pantomime play of course right and there was a big like hubbub before it started where we were all like what do we do with our coats? Yeah yeah yeah classic

It's an exciting day isn't it? Trip to the panties where do we put our coats and so I remember a teacher's standing at the front of our section of seating being like put your coats on your seats obviously meant on the back of the seats but I was like, I'm going to put it down on the bit that I sit on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I knelt down in front of this thing, like,

splayed it all out on there, all perfect, got it just right and went, like an artist standing back to admire his work. Look at that. Knocked me and then I rolled down a bunch of steps. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Child of trauma flooding back in. And then I remember, like, being like a crumple at the bottom of these steps,

looking up for, like, help. And it was like another school or like another line of people. And they just looked down at me and went, me, I walked around me, walked around me, and then, and then I got a bag of sweets that day for being a brave boy. But really, what they're? Yeah, like three stitches between, like right on the bridge of the nose. Yeah. Were you a glasses we're at that stage?

No, no. You have to wear them down the nose. Well, my vision went off the edge of a cleft during lockdown. When I turned 30, it just went, pimp. Oh, yeah. While lockdown, it's lots of. Yeah, lots of redemption. I genuinely thought there was some, I thought you were telling us another one of your injury stories.

So I was like, why haven't you with a cliff? But your vision went off the edge of a cliff. Yeah. I couldn't see it. I walked off a cliff. The stories you've told it's not outside of the realm of possibility. Rob that you walked off the edge of a cliff on a school trip. So hang on, did you think, did COVID affect your eyesight?

Or did you, or did you, or turning 30 affect your eyes? I think turning 30. I think it was turning 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just around that time. I remember being like, oh, no, I'm, I'm aging. My body is deteriorating. Do you know the thing?

Is the thing still around that if you want, a lot you lose your eyesight that's what I was trying to allude to yeah oh that he in lockdown did a lot of wanking yeah yeah you've got to just now you can't see your cast and say it I think I did as much wanking during COVID as I did outside because I'm like an office job getting in the way of my wanking you were like if I stopped wanking then the diseases one yeah I'm not gonna let they're out there clapping I was indoor talking this applause sounds a bit off It's really speeding up.

You've got a real pavlovian reaction to pots and pans now, haven't you? There was one particularly tricky day when you step back to admire your work. And, of course, straight between the eyes. But apart from that. Oh, dearie me. But do people still say that? I mean, good question. Because it was a big, it was the playground chat,

Dejure, wasn't it? Yeah, I remember being genuinely scared about that when I was younger. Yeah. Because I'm not going to stop doing it. Yeah. Of course you're not going to stop. You're kind of finish and like, and like,

no, still going. I'm okay. I had the eye example of all sharp. On the end of my band. From your poster of Erica Elaniac to your, is it, it's the first line. E. B.

Oh no. I shouldn't have done it so hard. Mom, can we go to the opticians again? Again. We've been three times today. I once told a kid, I once told a kid in six. one that you get a thousand boners and the kind of just drained out of his face i was like yeah you know

you get a thousand bonus i just said it and just watched him be like what what what and i said it and just watched him you know you can't you can't waste him and it was like a thousand's i've had 50 today are you sure mr crosbie boner expert that's that's that's that's a film what a thousand A thousand bonus. A thousand bonus. It's like a Benjamin Britain type. Benjamin Button.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a young person's guy to the orchestra. Is that what you're talking about? He's only got 1,000 directions to save the world. You find out that you've only got a thousand bonus and you go through the, through them all. What kind of film were we talking it? It's like 50 days of summer. This doesn't sound like Oscar bait.

Sounds like masturbate. Hey. Eo. I think it could be actually. It's quite emotional and then like he knows he's only got one more bone and left in it. Like in that Richard Curtis Curtis movie about time. Yeah. But he could, like he knows about a lot.

It's the last time he's going to have a conversation with his dad because he's going to only travel. It's the last time he's going to have a bono with his dad. He's crying and his dad's going just popping away so much. You're creeping us all out. But it's the last one. What an afternoon it's been. I've got to be careful when I get this bonus.

Suddenly people start banging pots and pants. Oh no. So anyway, as you're trying to write new material and you told us just before the podcast started that you're currently seeing a hypnotherapist. Yeah, I've been seeing a hypnotherapist. In order to sort of get the creative juices flowing. Kind of, yeah. I kind of, I don't know about you guys, but go on.

You just lifted up a conversational pistol. Stickle bricks, maybe. What is it? What would you like to say? Do what would you think of to say? Do you think of the fact that you're doing it possibly in the search for material? Do they know that? Oh, well, maybe.

I mean, I'm... I don't ever really right about things that happened to me. I have been talking about the hypnotherapy on stage, though, because he couldn't... Well, not that he couldn't, but I didn't let him... I'm not sure you've talked about this before. I'm not saying he couldn't hypnotize me, more I refused to let him hypnotize me.

Or I opened my eyes during hypnotherapy. Like, he's like, and your eyes feel like concrete? And I was like, we'll see about that. There are some people who aren't hypnotizable, though. Yeah, my mum said she's similar. My mum's a therapist, so she's done lots of different types of therapy. Yeah. And she said she was really not susceptible to hypnotherapy.

But I took way too much pleasure in him not like, so we did a hypnotherapy session right. At the end of a session, I opened my eyes. It was awkward. We say goodbye to whichever. The next session, he said, in 10 years of doing this, no one's ever done that. And I almost leapt out my seat and did a fucking knee slide. Yeah. Which is disgusting.

Hoping to broke both your knees, of course. weirdly someone else done that I took such a terrible pleasure in being like you know what to control my mind even though I'm paying this guy in 10 years he's never failed to hypnotize him that's what he said yeah

sounds like a challenge doesn't it that's what it is exactly exactly it does feel like a challenge is hypnosis genuinely a thing well it's not it's more like as soon as we started doing it I was like okay this is like a guided meditation yeah okay where I'm allowing him to kind of guide me into a very deep state of relaxation.

And then when my mind is kind of like open to it, there's suggestibility and all of that. And we worked on, we worked on a mantra in the end. Instead of like hypnotizing me into a certain way of thinking, we worked on like a mantra for my writing. Just pretend you're hypnotized dick, Edd. Keep your eyes fucking shats.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was it. Even when I'm doing it alone at home. So, like, Is the idea that you're trying to, rather than have a funny story to tell on stage, you're trying to see what's in the deepest recesses of your mind palace? Is that what you're trying to do? Maybe.

I mean, every time I sit down to write, I implode into like insecurity and like, this is not going to be good enough. I'm not good enough. You know what I mean? Like it just instantly like really, really bad. Yeah. I go to a really bad place really quickly. And because I'm like, I'm like, as a kid, I was like ADHD, I was put on

Ritalin when I was like eight or something. Do you know what I mean? Like early doors back in the 90s, people going on about it. now get themselves, I was on the 90s. I was like, well, where were you? But I found that off switch, though. But I can't remember what I was talking about, but you're ADHD.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think people with ADHD, you said you get into like a sort of mental state of like panic when you're writing. Yes, so quickly, so quickly. And like as a kid, I just hated having to sit down and do my work and stuff. So it's almost like, even though I've chosen a job that I really love and I love doing stand-up comedy and I love being. Like the best thing about this job, right, is when you come up with a bit at home and you're like, you get really excited.

And when it works, it's fantastic. And when people pack you on the back and say great bit, it's nice. But that magic when you're creating by yourself is so much fun. But for some reason, it's become replaced with like fear and insecurity. And this kind of like link to a childhood resistance to academia. Yeah. So we tried to unravel that. And I resisted it.

Like it. And you refuse to take it seriously. Yeah. Even though I was paying good money for it as well. Christ or might you? Anyway. Yeah. Are you going to persevere with it?

We did it up to a certain point. Now I have this mantra and I have actually started. I found a way to really enjoy the writing again. And I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think it was more hearing someone on a podcast talking about like finding a way to be enthusiastic about your writing again. Like it's so important to because I was sitting down in front of a laptop banging my head.

And I was like, oh wait, I used to write like spider diagrams and then try and handwrite stuff. And I went back to like pen and paper and was just like, oh, this is fun again. Yeah. So, yeah, I think it's finding a way to like really, really enjoy the creative process. Yeah, I think the problem is any, as soon as you've got a deadline or a venue book or anything like that, it stops feeling like, oh, this is just, it's like, I can be free and being a childlike and stuff. It suddenly becomes, well, people are relying on me to deliver this product. And then it becomes, like, literally even use the word product to deliver this.

That can be, that's where the tension lies. Yeah. So, yeah, get the crayons out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Get the stick or bricks out. Yeah, yeah. I'd say pen. Let's not go too far. Present my Lego pieces. I write with crayon. I don't think that's too far.

My early, when I first started stand up, my early set lists did look like calligraph. Is it calligraphy, the Egyptian? Yeah. Hieroglyphal. I draw like a, like a, like a compass and a protractor because I had a joke about having concealed stationary on me as a kid. I'd draw like a pile of Ritlin. and then like a guy over it.

Like my set list would literally be like images. Like little sort of almost like, and they're not mnemonics, but like little kind of aid memoirs. Yeah, in fact, one of my first like routines that I was really happy was about was about pneumonics. Really?

Because pneumonics is impossible to spell. I'm doing the bit now. It's a word that sole purpose is to help the heart of spelling and it's got a silent em on it. Yeah. What do you do it? Love this. You know what I mean?

It's good. It's good. And then I came up with new monics to spell new monics. Do you want to hear them? Yeah, go on. It's it's invented for people like me whose memory never ever memorises ordinary normal information clearly. And it might not even matter or noticeably irritate clever clogs, but I'm not one of those.

So I've come up with these mnemonics. Maybe now, even me or normal individuals can spell. Numerics. Very good. Pick it up. You know, if only I could remember all of that. I've been able to mnemonics, but yeah. But the visual thing is because isn't the thing that,

because we were hunter-gatherers, so we're designed to remember things visually. And like landscape things out. So therefore that's why memory palaces work. Yeah. You should picture images geographically rather than a linear list of things. Do you do mind palace? Are you able to do that?

No, I read about it quite a lot and I tried to practice it basically. To remember an Edinburgh show type thing. Hades to a memory house, yeah, exactly. And that's what you're supposed to do. Is it like you literally just like, imagine yourself walking into a house and then on the left there's the table. And the table reminds you of that. You think of something that, a property that you know, know really well in the childhood house, for example.

So you really, really visualize the details of it. And then you plan a journey through it. And at each stop, you put a memorable image that leads you to what you're remembering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So obviously, if you're trying to remember, say a tube line, then you go like, there's an elephant and kept with a castle. Right.

Why have you got that for Kennington now? That's so weird. He's living in a fairy tale. So it's like, as I enter my childhood drive, I look to my left and there's an elephant and castle. And you really spend time picturing as you enter your gate, an elephant in a castle. And when you get to your front door, there's Queen Victoria. So the next stop is Victoria.

And if you really take time picturing Queen Victoria at your... No, is elephant in Castle? No, no. You swap lines immediately, but that's okay. That's okay. Well, that's all right. I need the baker loo. So that's how it works.

So then every time you picture you a child of front door, and then you can have different journeys through different properties. How do they feel about having it all written down and a nice big bit of A3 papers stuck on the stage? So I went to the elephants and castle the other day. Well, well, well, well, well. See the mine palace paying off.

I always have my show like on a A3, A2, which is the big one? A3. Well, A4. A2 is bigger than A4. The lay one's even bigger than that. Okay, A2. I have an A2. I have one of my own posters that you put up around bed.

I have one of those turned round with the set list on the back. And I'm always, my memory is so bad. Do you have it on stage that the audience can see it? At the Banshee Labyrinth, there's like speakers facing like angled out. So you can't. If you're like Rye or if you sat over there, you could see. But until about halfway through the run, I'll have that. Genuinely, my memory is so bad for remembering a show.

Even just a five minute set. It's terrible. We had the good thing in that we were never. because we were performing the three of us, we were never always on stage. So there was always an opportunity to run off. But sometimes you'd run off to the wrong side. And you'd be like, oh, the set.

This isn't on the side. And neither are my props. So, well, there we go. I've done it again. I mean, I, I remember see, I saw Daniel Kitson in the round at Camden, Camden Roundhouse and halfway through it, just being like, line and someone just shouting in and then just queuing him up. Whoa.

I don't have an issue with it. Like, I, sure. Like, it's, there's a lot of words to remember. Like, it was always. is the worst compliment like when we were we used to be the theatre company and people come and say you go how do you remember all those lines yeah right yeah oh yeah yeah yeah I didn't enjoy any of that but well done you yeah remember it all and it's like it was that and that looked like a lot of effort that looked like brutal effort I thought was fun wasn't didn't people

say that looked like a lot of effort for me to watch I used to get effort a lot of yeah sweaty. I had, um, I found it funny. Oh. I'm one of those in Henley on Thames the other day. Horrible gig. Run by a lovely, lovely person, but like, not my crowd. Um, yeah. I can't imagine whose crowd it is. Henley is going to be very posh. Yeah, it was Henley. It was Henley. It was Henley. Let's just leave it there. Yeah. One of those. Anyway, awful. I found it. I found it funny. A friend of mine was going to start a podcast called, um, I've just died, right? which was if he'd be at a gig and see someone die, he'd come up to them and interview them immediately.

Oh, fantastic. Which sounds amazing. I'd love to be on that podcast. Until he comes up to you when you don't think you've died. Oh, yeah, brutal. Oh my God, that was awful. Anyway, how did you feel? I was like, that was that pretty good for me.

I thought, that was one of my top too. I have this reoccurring thought every time I have a really bad death. Or even like, you know, those frustrating gigs where it's like, it went okay, but I didn't access the joy. Like I didn't, I didn't get off on that in a way. You know what I mean? Like, it happened, but like, it didn't release and it wasn't like a really fun time. Yeah.

Have you seen that film Source Code? Yeah. With Jake Gillinghall where there's a bomb on a train. He starts again. So like, every time the bomb goes off, he'd like, it just goes back to the beginning of the train journey. It's like a very short groundhog day. Yeah, exactly. I love the idea of like, literally as I walk off stage and I'm like, I fucking sucked.

So ladies and gentlemen, Rob Cobbler. And I just walk straight back on. Like, right, let's find the bomb and like the fuse. Let's do this again. That's like a fantasy of mine to like be trapped in a never-ending like big gig that could be bad, could be good. And I can just mess around. I mean, that's what my job is in a way. Yeah.

Describing the work in progress system. Yeah, I literally am. Yeah. But I like the idea of it being like a scientific experimentation where it's the exact same conditions. Yeah. The exact same audience. Exact same mood. I think we'd still be stuck in a gig if that had happened.

Imagine you just kept bombing. Until you do the perfect gig, you can't go to the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of thing. Tehrba, which is a round of applause. I mean, it's a fantastic premise for like a sci-fi. I can imagine Jordan Brooks starring in that film, where it's kind of like this perpetual thing where you're stuck.

I mean, I think he made a short that was quite similar to that, actually. It was like late night forever, right? Oh, he's like a late night talk show. And every time he exited right, he'd enter stage left or something like that. Like he's trapped in this thing. Maybe that's why I've made the association. but yeah I could see it being interesting like Birdman kind of thing is this gonna is this your next show do you think this is your next show is a series of five minutes where it's really yeah

it's a high minute set it's high concept it's high concept and you change iteration and slightly every time as well yeah kind of go through the remote I think that would be an amazing show it'd be more theatre than comedy yeah it would be that's a cool premise yeah and the great thing about more theatre than comedy is there doesn't have to be funny yeah it was it was more theater than comedy and how did you remember all those lines halfway through the run we decided it was more theater than comedy yeah we asked to change bits of the brochure if that's okay yeah I knew we should have gone theater um I like a lot of my like very early like five minutes when I was on the open mic circuit were like super like high concept I'd come on and start accusing the audience I'll be like

come on where are they come on what are you done with them what are they come on and they'll start saying things like oh very funny hide the pole from the pole dancer Hide the fish from the fisherman. And for like three, four minutes of like accusing the audience of stealing from me. And then revealing that it's like my gospel choir. Like everyone knows I'm the comedian who has a gospel choir. They sing all my punchlines. What have you done with them?

How am I supposed to perform without my gospel choir? And then I'd do it by myself. I'd do a joke. And then I'd tune the punchline. So high concept for like a second month of comedy. But I like that sort of thing. I like that, you know, those early gigs when you don't really know any of the rules and you, or you think you already know the rules and you're ready to break them without even learning

how to do them in the first place. I love to go back to, be able to just go back to that naivety in my mind. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all of my, my early sets were like, I had like a kid's, like a child's microphone and I would sing, I want you back, but with like a sort of skeletal mask on. And I don't know. No real clue why I was doing your skin back. But yeah, it was like really, really odd stuff. And it would never go well. Yeah, right.

But I was having so much fun. Yeah. I really loved it. And you always, I think you're sort of, you know, this sort of thing you have when you start, you go, well, I'm right and they're wrong. Yeah. And then eventually you sort of start to get a compromise between maybe they're slightly right. Yeah. I love it when I see a brand new act who's taken such a big swing.

It's such an exciting feeling to be like, oh my God, go for it, kid. Yeah. Yeah. You don't sort of like, yeah, the sort of the further on you go, the less you see someone who's just, sitting on stage eating a yogurt whilst they play in neutral milk hotel. It's like that sort of thing I think, great. I mean, you don't want every act to be like that. You want an entertaining hour.

But yeah, I love that sort of thing. I remember seeing someone really early doors who, I've never seen them on the open mic circuit since. And you ever see a bit that you kind of want to steal, but you're never going to do it because you just don't do that. Yeah. But he just closed, he ended his set by being like, right, I've got to go now because I I really fancy a yogurt.

I might be the same guy, actually. Not the same guy I saw who ate a yogurt on stage. He was really working around. I see Matthew and Rob set up an eye about yoghurt. It's a weird one actually. I did try and do a bit recently about yoghits. I don't think it's any good and I'm not going to continue to do it. But it's like talking about how like I don't think I'll ever be as loved or like I want

people to be passionate about me or have strong feelings towards me as strong as the feelings that a woman has towards what she might potentially have on top of her yoghut later. And it was just an observation of being like, I've been in, I used to live just me in like a group of women. And when they get into it talking about what they might have on top of a yoghurt, they get very passionate. Not as passionate as men do about, I think the closest thing from man is like naming old footballers. Oh yeah. You know, that feeling of like Hugo Hecateke is not an old footballer. Like naming a Matalitizier.

Well, no. I mean again, yeah. Certain type of men, they still do that. Yeah, yeah. I think we've worked out why the routine's not working. I can't name old footballers about stepping in a big pile of shit. And also I just always feel uncomfortable as soon as I start making like broad sweeping statements about, now, women are like this, women like stuff on top of yoghers.

I instantly feel like Bernard Manning or something. Yeah, and if you personalise it, it seems like an attack. If you're like, my partner is obsessed with yoghers. Yeah, there's a well, deep down you hate your message. There's exactly no right of reply. Yeah. Unless they come on and eat a yogurt to Nutriamilk Hotel. By the way, the next act.

But yeah, you are right, though. I mean, I live in a house of girls. Yeah. And there's a lot of yoghut chap. Yeah. It's a big thing. Yeah. I think I also tried to approach it a couple, like a year ago, saying we're not going to have true gender equality until we see men in yoga adverts.

Because a yoga advert is always a woman eating a yoghurt and it's like the most satisfying thing she's ever had. Just want to see a bloke. Yeah. Like the crucial moment with yoga adverts. Do you and a frupe like that. It's the licking of the lid, isn't it? Yeah. They managed to turn what is actually a design fault.

into like its best bit. Yeah. And I remember as a kid thinking, oh, here's the good bit. Yeah. Can we see that one more time? I don't think the camera's quite cool at that. Can you do here's the good bit? Here's the good bit.

You never got that yogurt advert, did you? That's the bit everyone I'm aiming for is like the lid. This is the casting, by the way. We're doing a casting now. Everyone pick a camera and do here's the good bit and the lick of yogurt. And we'll let the listeners and indeed the views. is decided who said it best yeah okay great oh yeah sorry good go ahead go on you you start us off Tom because it's your line oh oh I'm really bad yeah what's the line

here's the good bit is the good here's the good bit yeah great here's the good bit it was good it was good it was good is the good bit oh a bit less tongue oh he's lactose intolerance I swallowed it. I swallowed the lid boys. Oh. Okay, here we go. Here's the good bit. The first half of that was really good. Yeah, the tongue was the problem.

Your first half and your second half. We'll do a cut and shut. It was quite Macano-esque the way you. It was too, yeah, it was too. In fact, do you know what, rather than move my tongue across, like you should move your tongue rather than that, like, that's what you should. you do rather than yeah right yeah yeah like like holding the toothbrush i'm not sure you can no i think you've got to move the lid well we'll find out let's find out clarkie here we go which can you

this is the way it always was here it's one in go for this one here we go here we go here's one in last and get the gig here you go here's the good bit he'd have watched what we'd have done and then he twisted it and then perfected it's a well-paid gig and he swans off with four grand and a weekend in recievic yeah right that mulla that mullah that mullah oh my god story my bloody life jumping on our shoulders is a good bit Ooh. Sinister. Sinister.

Didn't if he perfected it. He's the good. He was like you're about to shivers in prison. Yeah. I don't know where that came from. He's the good bit. I think I'm trying to make it more masculine for the man jog. Man jog.

Man yog. I reckon that's what they tried with crunch corners. I think they were trying to make it a bit more like. It's like the happy meal of a yoghit, isn't it? The crunch and corner part. Yeah. Well, it's also the fact that you've got to do it yourself. Yeah.

Like any. Bit of DIY. That's what the Y and DIY is exactly Do it yogurt Do it Yogself Do it Yog's self Maybe we have this is You know what

This is good Because I feel like You know we start with talking about Maccano We end by talking about yogh But if we combine the two This is you know You're basically constructing things out of Froobes and then eating it

Anyway I've got to go guys Something about DIY shops always makes me feel very comforted. I was thinking just the same thing the other day. I walked past a really well lit one and I was like, yes, please. And there we go. All the stuff is there. It's ready to go. And I also like the idea that like DIY shops are like, is asexual the word?

Or like they're like homaphridite? They can self-reproduce. Do you know what I mean? You could go into a DIY shop. You could go into a DIY shop by one of everything. Yeah. Now you've got your own DIY shop. You're going to build a DIY shop out of a DIY shop.

You know what I mean? Oh, I see. Everything you need to build a DIY shop is available in the DIY shop. I took a product. And then I was like, well, that's every shop. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But no, but you can build a DIY shop from a DIY shop. It's like self-perpetuating. Self-perpetuating, yeah. Like you can kind of. Yeah. Like Russian dolls. Yeah. increasingly smaller.

Yeah. Well, it would have to be, wouldn't it? Until it's just the flap. I've got to get a charm. I've got one nail for sale. Well, that thing I like about DIY shops, I think we, Amazon has ruined this.

If you want to buy a single one of a thing, right? If you try and buy like a screw on Amazon, they say, yeah, you can have it. You've got to have 499 others. Right. That's what you've got to get. Whereas if you want to go in and say, I just need one.

one little hook, that's all I need. They can sell at you. It might even give you that for free. Sad to say, I am stealing that from B&Q. Oh, really? Oh, you're nicking it, are you? You're a knicker. What's your technique?

Well, because the bags, literally you can't buy one from being Q. Yeah. So then there's bags of like the either die pick a mix for four quick. That's right. And if I need one and I'll go and find the right one, then normally that's going in my pocket. And I'm buying, I normally buy something else to make sure I don't feel terrible about it.

That's always a good decoy for shoplifting. It's a single screw. Yeah, right. But it is shoplifting. Yeah. And it weighs heavy on my mind. I don't think I can do a podcast with you anymore. I didn't know you're a hardened criminal.

I'm worried you're a hardware criminal. Well, this is it. Yeah. But also, what if you need a single drill? We haven't done our ad read. We haven't done our ad read. We haven't done our ad read, by the way. Don't forget, folks, today's episode is brought to you by the good people at B&Q.

That's the good. That's the good bits. Slicking us. Yeah. Stick your tongue out. There's a screw under that. Open your mouth and just loads of drill bits fall out. Yeah.

Are you buying a single screw? No, I'm either going and trying to, I mean, well, I'm trying to buy a small bag or I'm just buying a massive bag on Amazon. The other thing as well is I've got, I've got screws in the house. Like, there's, they must be somewhere. I know everybody, I had a statistic the other day, everybody has 88 screws. No, but you know what I mean? But you know what? But you know, the area under the stairs, you think, the thing I need to, it's got to be there, right?

You'll just ride for a minute. There's got to be some bit of it. Yeah, those bags of like nails will just open up in your toolbox and then they're all just loose in the bottom. Yeah, or any time you're assemble flat packed furniture, you've all got little bits and bobs. Yeah, they go. Yeah. It's got to be there. 88 screws sounds like a good scar band, by the way.

88 screws. Take it up, pick it up, pick it up. They're supporting a thousand bonuses on tour. Well, there we go. Another one in the books. Another one in the books. Another one in the books. If you are jotting it down in your ledger,

Rob Copland was the name of our guest. Absolutely brilliant. Do go and see him if you ever get a chance to. Indeed. He's really, really wonderful. And don't forget, he's on at the Tron 550 every day of the fringe. And it's going to be a wonderful time.

It is indeed, support your boys on the socials as well. We're on TikTok. We're on Instagram. We're on YouTube. The rest is history. That's another wonderful. It's another wonderful podcast. If we could plug a slightly more successful podcast,

we've got to plug the rest is history. Give them some support. Give them some support. I don't know if they've got a Patreon if they have. They shouldn't. Absolutely right. But otherwise, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching.

And can I just say, the rest is politics. It's today's episode was produced by Olivia Swash. Hello. Cheers, everyone. Bye. Duke Nukem. Germaine genus, alien resurrection. I need your sort of vocal woman.

Yeah, Jemaine Jealous, oily penis.