Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy’s Flatshare ep 1612: Is it lucky to have a magpie in your house?

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

Are loyalty cards a scam? What should Paddington really sound like? And what animal should we “urbanise”? Pappy's - www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy www.tiktol.com/pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Olivia Swash with tech help from Max Brill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 16-531-2600 or visitconX Ontario.ca. Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare. It was indeed. We got together, we shot the shit, we had a nice time. We all had a nice time. And crucially, we recorded it, which means you get to listen to it right now.

Yes, or watch it if you're viewing on YouTube, which all clips and full episodes are available on YouTube right now. You really do get to see how old we are. If you want to see how old we are in 4K, then yeah, you can see it. Absolutely right. And you know the drill by now. If you want to listen to more of us this week, then hop along to patreon.com forward slash papy's flat share where you get the bonus pop round episode for just £4 a month.

And you get a bonus episode every week. You get reductions on the live stuff. You know the drill. But crucially, you get to support us in our podcasting journey to the grave. We cannot do this without your support. So if you are enjoying our content, please do bung a little bit of cash our way. Absolutely right. Now, this one, we've got quite a nice, we're going to ease you into the podcast today.

Quite a nice gentle start about loyalty cards. And about buying trousers from TK. Max. It's a very gentle, easy start, you know, but come on in, the waters are absolutely lovely. And just to say, there might be a tiny little bit of a sound problem in this episode. We apologise for that. That's just Clarkie talking. That was all three of us talking. Unfortunately, yeah, a trigger warning on this episode,

three men will be talking on this, and it is the three of us. So, yeah, a little bit of sound trouble, but don't worry about that. You'll still have a lovely time. A lovely time. A lovely time will be had by you. Enjoy.

Hello, everybody. Whoa, baby. Whoa, baby is right. Yes, indeed. It's me, Matthew, and him. Tom from Pappies, to tell you all about the next flat share, slam downs. It's big news. It's a Monday Tuesday 1-2.

It's, we're back to where. We're back to the Phoenix. We're back to the Monday Tuesday 1-2. It's April. It's the 27th. It's the 28th. Absolutely right. Who have we got on the 27th? Oh, we've got Chloe Radcliffe and Stu Laws. Yes. Real-life couple. Real-life couple, which is always a treat. Always a joy. We obviously, you always have a real-life thruple, me, Tom and Ben. But this time you've got a real-life thruple and a real-life couple. Chloe Radcliffe, Stuart Laws. National comedian, Clary Radcliffe. Yeah. I guess international comedian's due laws.

Yeah, because, you know, they... They live in the world. They do the... What do they call? Is it nylon? New York and London. They flip between the two. Oh, I like that.

They've got a nylon lifestyle. I've got a nylon lifestyle in that I wear men's lingerie. That's immense. Okay. Well, anyway, let's move on to Tuesday, April 28th, where we're going to be joined by the brilliant Sharon Juan Johi and Christopher Paul. Two absolute doozies, actually.

It's going to be fantastic. We would love to see you there. International doozies, I would say. Yeah, they could have two international dozies. What they wear under their clothes, we do not know. Maybe we'll ask them. There's only one way to find out. We're going to have to have, hey?

Come and see the shows. If you're a patron, you get discounted tickets. So join the Patreon, support your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave. Absolutely right. All tickets are available from pappiescom.com forward slash live. So go there today and get them today. And don't delay. I used to work for the MVC, the music and video club.

Famously. Where they would put this CD retails at 2799. But we're selling it for 17.99. So wait, so you're selling it for a five more than they're selling it down the road in HMV? But you've told us you've knocked a tenor off it. Yeah. What world are you living in? And also there's a slight implication that you wouldn't have an MVC card and some people would pay that full price.

Some people refused it. Some people refuse the card. Really? Yeah, yeah. I don't want my details being on the system. Too right. Weirdly, I'm, you don't want to know where I got this. I can afford to shop at NFC, but you don't know where I got the money from.

Let me tell you that now. Nefarious means. That's various means. That's basically every shop now. So I'm like, that's Tesco. They've got like Tesco Club Car price and full price. You're Clarkie. You're right.

Anyway, so let's start the podcast. Let's start the podcast. Unbelievably, I think we started the podcasts. Now, he's been working at Boots. What are they? Boots Advantage card. What are they have for Clarke? You name the shop.

They'll name the card. Yeah, yeah. You bet. You bet. Sainsby's what they got there, Clarkie? They've got a nectar. They got a nectar card. Big, me, me, me, me, me, me, bing, bing, bing, bink.

You wanted to tell us something anyway. I did. We can't do yet another podcast about trousers. I go through our, I was going through the, the, Honestly, I was going through our podcast the other day. And I was like, have we done like 15 episodes just about how we struggle to buy trousers? Do you sometimes think that like I just don't have, like I need to be more interesting things in my life just so I have something else to talk. What?

Thomas is TK. Max? What are you doing? Exactly. I'm going to Tesco. Where Clark? My best clothes. Famously. Famously.

Famously. But yeah, Clark, you go on. Enough about trousers, guys. Listen, if you want to hear us talk about our trousers, join the Patreon. Or listen to last week. Because we used to work at NBC. We're doing all the, we're doing all the greatest hits. It's the greatest hits.

It's the greatest hits. I used to work at NBC. Harry wears trousers. So we just did a clip show episode where we just, those Simpsons. Yeah. We don't know we're doing a clip show episode until someone emails us and goes, you talked about

these three episodes every episode is a clip show episodes every episode is a clip show episode when you've got early on set

dementia oh dear so we're sat in the flat a little while ago we, us no I think you'll be like

talking about Trez so we're sat here on this over holding microphones and Tom was throwing to a new clip this was a fun episode

guys we had a lot of fun Tom's about to talk about his gusset. So we're going to take you all the way back to 2026. This is a fun moment from earlier in today's episode. Yeah, so you and Meg Pegg were sitting in the flat. Yeah, sitting in the flat. And a magpie walked in.

Walked in. Walked as, bold as brass. Over there. Along there. And we just stopped. We're watching the television. Magpie just comes in and walks all the way through. It's like horses.

I love this. And were you worried? Were you like, well, hide the silverware because they'll be, they'll be away with the good cutlery. It didn't occur to me actually at the time. I was just like, is this really bad luck or any good luck? Bird indoors. One of the most exciting things that can happen.

And terrifying. Not talking about prison. Of course. I'm talking about a bird comes into the school. You know, any, very terrifying as well. Yeah. A bird falls down the chimney. We've had that a couple of times.

Magpie is not small, right? No. Yeah. Big, big bird. What happened? It walked through to the kitchen. They all way in. Yeah.

Pop the kettle. It just walked past us like we weren't here. And I was like, oh. So we just. kind of like silent. And then I was like, well, I've got to try and film it. So I stood up. Film it?

Sorry, what? That's what the RSPB say. If you do see an animal, please film it. Do, please film it. It's good content. Because you could win up to 250 quid if it falls over. First of all, it's good content. But me standing up, it freaked out.

And so it just started flapping and then flew its way back out. but shout all over the flash of something like that. Oh, did it? Were you filming that? I think I might, it takes me a very long time to get into my camera. I might have footage of it actually. You don't know.

Can't remember. When was this? This is a couple of months. Oh, okay, fair enough, fair enough. I'll accept that. I really thought it happened last night. No, no, no, no, no. Mad though, eh?

Did it know you were there? Until then? Well, that's what I thought, because their eyes are on the side of their heads, right? You know, he would have seen, yeah. So you think that one of them would have seen you? So they're probably looking at us and the television simultaneously, so I was like, if it was going to get,

if it was going to get flustered. What were you watching? I can remember, no. That's mad. I still think it's, I think that it's mad that you can be, like, you can be walking down the street and there are birds everywhere. birds in the trees, birds flying around, little animals that live amongst us. I feel the same when you see a fox in the daytime.

I love it. You know, you see a fox drawing down the street in the daytime. It seems insane. And I wonder why some, like, this is probably a really obvious question, but why are some animals doing it and some animals are asked. Some animals are going, I'm going to live in a city. Yeah. Like a bird. Yeah.

And other animals are going, you know, they're, you know, because they're, you know, because they're, like, right, there are wild ponies, right, in the new forest. Yeah. But there must be, one of those wild ponies must be. the furthest wild pony away from money. The really wild pony. The really, really wild pony. The really, really wild pony. The really, really wild.

Great show. But, like, he's like, he's like, the really, really wild dog and pony show. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The really, really wild pony that is like, like, basically is a couple of towns away in a leisure center. Yeah.

Or something. You know, you know what I mean? Like, there must be a pony is like, a bit ambitious. Yeah. The urban pony. The urban pony, exactly. But why are we, like, there are urban,

foxes, right? I mean, there are rats, there are mice, there are birds. Why are we not getting like an urban cow? Why are you not seeing a cow? Because of cattle. That's it. That's the reason. That's the reason.

That's the only reason that London is not overrun with cows. We've made that decision, not them. Yeah. They're like, what are you chatting about? Let's go. Let's go. No, thank you. That's right. Yeah. So it might maybe in that, maybe

like the oldy London Times, there would have been a cow going down the thoroughfare. There must have been... Because all the bylaws of being like, if you drive your cow

over the bridge at noon, you can shoot a Welshman with a crossbow. We're playing the greatest hits. I don't remember that one. I do. We have talked about it 400 times.

It's always about shooting a Welshman with a crossbow. So it's always like, it's always that. There's a, I'm sure, Oh, yeah, I watched David Attenborough, the London one. Yeah.

I think there's a place in London where they, there's dears that are just kind of gone. Richmond Park. But no, they've got into like the streets and they're just like wandering around like certain. In the arcades? Yeah. They're all in paddy power. There's a lot of fucking vape shops around here, isn't there? There's all that happens when you get rid of all the natural predators.

This is it. Yeah. Yeah. What animal would you be comfortable if they, if we, you know, you know, in the, in the rumor that Jimmy Hendricks introduced the parakeets to South London, you know, that old, that old myth. What animal would you be comfortable? It's more fun.

It's more fun. We're doing the hits, guys. But I, I, what animal would you be like, yeah, I'd like to see? Because I think if we had pigs down the street, I'd love that. I'd love to, trotting along. You see a little pig going. It's trotting along. I'm trotting along one way.

He's trotting along the other way. I love the idea of pigs. Pigs in the street. Pigs around. But then they're... Pigs, a little bit scary. Big pigs are a bit scary. But they don't do much, do they?

They just like to sit around in the mud. For now. Yeah, they're close to bores. And they're very... And they're smart pigs. Wait, wait, wait, there's three bores in this podcast. Nothing scary about us. I think the magpie was after food.

I don't know what it was like that? Because you get like the pigeons going to sains me now, don't they, and try and get the sand with them. Do they? Yeah. Well, they've got those next car. I don't know.

Yeah. So they get their points back. Now, if a pigeon was in Tesco, what do they do? Tesco law and all right. Hey, come on. Oh, my. I mean, like,

that Attenborough in the city bummed me out a bit. Because it feels like... You were hoping it's to be more like Hollyoaks nights. Attenborough finger someone in a jacuzzi. Not the Britsian's at Embron. Full of promise.

He's turning 100 very soon, so it's like he's always just trying to get all the things you wanted to do. He's doing meow, meow. He's doing, he's doing meow in the toilets of Waxie O'Connell's. With an emu. I don't know. Kind of slight, it slightly bums me out because it feels like they always used to to be obviously in the wild, totally

in the wild, and then towards the end of the planet Earths, they had to start factoring in, like, cities and humans, and now they're just in cities, it's just like, oh, no, but they ran out of nature. What, I didn't see the film, it all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next, he'll be hosting

top gear. That's where we're going to. Is that or we're like, here we see the Ferrari F-5. You need to turn it down on that, meow, meow. Cheapers, mate. I mean, great track time. It just feels like he's kind of,

he's ran out of nature right at the end. He's seen all the animals. You live long enough and you see every single animal. Yeah. Because, you know, like, it can't be Galapagos every week, can it? No. He has giant turtles on the Galapagosiles every single week. Now he's like, he's literally in Kingston or Pondems.

He's like, look, a pigeon arrives. And it's like, oh, man, he's just a man at a bus stop now. Are you sure this isn't just BBC cuts? Is his budget just been slapsed? That's how it feels. But now in an office. You know the second half where the bit we don't really enjoy of those TV shows? It's like, oh, there's a posh bloke on a parachute with the camera.

Yeah, I don't care. I want to see the animals. Monty's in a paraglider. Exactly. I don't want to see Monty in a paraglider. Exactly. Was it just like, oh, yeah, this is John with his iPhone. Just filming a rat by a bin?

I think, no, I think Amber said, yes, I'll do one more series for you, but I'm not leaving 20 minutes from me. Can we do it in and around West London? I want to be home for my soup and it's like fair play like what we'll bring it to you then. I'll tell you what, leave the back door open, hopefully a magpire walking.

That's going to be the final series at Embrose at home waiting for a magpie. What I was thinking about when you're timing up a store. Please be something utterly complete like million miles away from. What I was thinking about

was my childhood actually. I mean, you decide. My regrets. I was thinking about my route home. The thing it really made me think about was my first year at university when my corridor mate was coming into Bollary CD from my CD player in the corner. And I was on the bed with my ankle. And I was completely naked.

And she was fully clothed. And we were doing something rather intimate. He arrived quite soon. She was. Yeah, exactly. It's intimate for her. Just in terms of how grimacite it must have been for poor Marco. He came in, much like the magpie, came all the way past us.

And so we were kind of like, we stopped and watched. And he got all the way to the CD player and then was like, oh, oh, oh. He went, I'm 15 minutes early. You've normally swapped ends by this point. I was like, Marco. And he was like, oh, oh. My girlfriend was like, oh! And he kind of had to hurry back out.

That's what it made me think of, actually. I was kind of trying to unpack what was going on there, and I was completely naked. My girlfriend was fully closed. I mean, Tom, you're the only one that can unpack that. The definition of four play. I'd say that's one play, mate. That'll play.

What a romantic. What's a romantic? I'm going to take all. All of my clothes off. Yie, don't you? My term. We'll unpack what was going on there. Oh, we also should also mention

that Marco was a chapinch. That's the other reason. It was a similar story. David Attenborough. Waiting for a magpie. Do you think Attenborough will, like, because he's so easily to imitate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think they'll just continue Attenborough content once he's gone? as in you think in the in the way that like someone off you know Phil Hartman from the Simpsons when he left they still did Troy McClure with someone Kermit there's a new Kermit in town you Kermit exactly yeah I know admittedly people are saying he's not nailing it but like they're giving it a go there's a new grommet it's a new grommet of course and like I think Attenborough is kind of on that way or is it

Wallace oh yeah Wallace they don't need to the bloke who didn't do the voice for grommet dies It's a good, it's a good gig that one, isn't it? I'm voicing grommet. You've got your headphones on, you just... It's just a lot of eyebrow work. Can we do that again? I think I fluffed that slightly.

Can I just... Okay, we've got that now. Have fun with it. A few more eyebrows, please. Yeah, exactly. It's crucially Wallace, isn't it? It's got to be wise. There's a new Wallace.

Paddington. They'll keep on being Paddingtons. Yeah. I don't think Ben Wishaw's. I mean, he's got a bit of time in it. No, Paddington. Wishaw's not doing the musical, isn't it? that's right

all you do is have to sound like that is a brilliant Atombrose I was a really good at a girl I thought as well I thought he's gone back to

Attenborough again Paddington's really start to give me the arseye oh no why do you not like Paddington because he because of his connections to the royal family

because of fair enough fair play it's just like the inherent it's so annoying it's such an English thing that it's like it's a great story

because it's about this bear that's come from Peru, but he sounds so English. It's just like, it's so annoying. It's like, why doesn't he have, Tom? He should sound like he's a bit from Peru. What's that? Hello.

Which bit of Peru, which part of Hall is Peru in again? North of Peru. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. You got any barbed head. Hey, I am from Peru.

My name is Paddington. And my, my auntie, Luce. said taught me how to speak English. I grew up in the rainforests. And you know what? I always carry a sandwich under me at. Listen. That kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. I like that. Of course, Tom was down to the last two. And that bastard wish I was so close. Listen, we love the choice you're making, Tom, but we're going to go a different way. Have you ever considered Gromit? Because you're hearing's terrible.

Because that sounded nothing like a Peruvian accent. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, we're going to have... We've co-opted it, yeah, yeah. He's like the stories that a guy comes from Peru. Darkest Peru. Darkest Peru? And don't tell me that he learnt the language from an explorer.

He can learn the English language, but he's still from Peru. Hello. Oh, I like it here in England. They're all a bit weird. They do things their own way, aren't Lucy? It's like, what's going on there? The English is... what I've ever heard in my life

and everyone bums him everyone's like all this fucking great guy no spoilers it's like it's darkest for you all right it's too much man do I mean

I do yeah I don't you Ben yeah I sort of I yeah I get it do you know what I mean I get it

I actually think it's a very pertinent point you think he's stealing a job away from a Peruvian performer 100% and the fact that we're that's why everyone loves him is because he's... Yeah, there's a little bit, there's a little bit Brexity.

There's undertones of like, colonialism. Yeah. We don't mind... We like this one because he sounds just like us. Exactly. We don't mind if you're here and you speak like us and you eat the same marmalade sandwiches that we do. Yeah.

That's fine. You've assimilated. You're not brought any of your Peruvian, you know, you're not playing a nose flute. Thank you. Exactly right. At two in the morning. I'm trying to get some kit.

Where's the nose flute solo in Paddington the musical? Do you know what I mean? It's not this too much. Have you seen, I mean, I know you won't have seen Paddington the musical because he's quite asshole. No.

Have you seen the bear that they used when they did the reveal? It's crazy a. Oh, do you? Yeah, yeah, I think it's creepy. No, no, no. Listen, this is up for debate, but I thought when the bear, a little turn around and the

eyes, I thought. He presented a BAFTA the other day. Did? I didn't watch the BAFSA. Hello, I'm a bit nervous because the Ard-Lucy says, people when they look at you, make you feel oh, fuck off. Fuck off, Paddington. Too much. Too much, man.

I think we've reached Peak Paddington. Yeah, I think we reached Peak Paddington when people were leaving marmalade sandwiches outside Buckingham and Paddles. Oh my good Lord. That's how you loved that, the magpies. Attenborough was in his element Here you see loads of rats That's all we can afford

Anyway, what turns a bus No one knows on the bus is Back to Kensington But yeah So what's going on So Paddington the musical The Bear Yeah

It is when push comes to shove A small actor A small actor in a bear suit. A small actor with a sort of animatronic face

that's being operated by puppeteers, yeah. Yeah. So they're not that kind of stuff exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like it. But that person's under the stage, right? Doing it live. Yeah. Yeah,

that person's, but I don't think they're doing it with their face. But they're stealing a living. Operating, operating an animatronic face.

Yeah. No, they just act into a screen and the machine and the, oh, is it? I thought it was just,

I thought it was just, I thought it was just like a series the joysticks and stuff that would move the eyes and all. So you think the person doing the voice is doing the face as well. There's a face actor on the side of the stage. Right, I didn't know this.

Different face actor. That's syncing up with the voice actor. Surely you get the same person. No, the person who's voicing and facing Paddington is on the side of the stage. Yeah. Micced up and screened up. And you don't have to learn your lines or anything.

And then... You've got it in the script. Yeah. Although, yeah. You can't have like Paddington like... Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, you can't be looking from

looking from side to side. You've got to kind of engage with the other people on the place. Yes. So you've got to stare. I think that's what's going on. You're staring into it. And I should, I should,

I should say I don't know that that's what's going on. But listen, listen, I've not done my research and I'm furious about every aspect of it. We've met you before, Tom. We know, we know the setup. And we defend your right to the death to be angry about a thing you don't know about.

Yes. Exactly. Thank you. For he is an English man. He is an English man. Yeah. Yeah, I think that is what's happening. Yeah.

Only because someone told me that it was you. Will you go and see it? The kids aren't bothered by Paddington. We tried a few times to get them into Paddington. They couldn't care less. And I wasn't bothered by Paddington as a kid either. No. But I mean, the first.

two films. What's your problem with the first two films? Well, it's the character of Paddington, though. You're prefer it. But is that kind of like the extension after that? But what you've got, we've all got a bit Paddington, Matt. I think, yeah, and also I get my train home from Paddington.

Oh, yeah. Which is full on Paddington town. Like, there's loads of tourists there. Yeah. There's a statue. There's a fucking statue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Statues.

Tom is one of the few people wanted to tear that statue down. Most people are like, should we get all the people who like own slaves? No, no, no, no, no. No, I tell you the statue, me and a gang are going to. It's as much a part of our colonial problem

as those slave owners. I actually think that. And it went up in the 80s. I think that's true, actually. And also statues of fictional people. We've got to get a bit of a fucking thing. I mean, I'm sorry.

Sherlock Holmes has got a statue. Yeah. It's a bit much, isn't it? But people know he is. I think like, it's a statue where you're... I prefer that to statues of real people who end up being like. The only statue you like is the unknown soldier, isn't it? There's no baggage around it.

There you go. Statues of kings and stuff or whatever. It was great actually. And he also thinks Sherlock Holmes, a drug addict. I'm sorry, playing his violin at two in the morning where I'm trying to get some Kip. I've just shut the Brumian nose three up on the other side of me. Peter Pan's got a statue. Peter Pan's got a statue.

Bridgett Jones has got a statue these days. Lester Square. No really? Bridget Jones has got a statue. It's an odd. Lester Square. The problem is because you've got the entirety of film history, it's a bit odd, isn't it? You've got Mary Poppins.

You've got the guy from Get Out. Really? Yeah. So he's got... He's disappearing into the sunken place. Yeah. But you think, hey, huge film. Enormous film.

But why is he here? You know what I mean? Why is he in Leicester Square? You know? Where would I ask that to be? Oh, this is what it boils down to. And again, the greatest hits of... Thomas said this before, why isn't there a statue of me?

Yeah, again, it boils down to. I'm not, I'm not pushing for a, I'm not pushing for Paddington Statutes to come down and me to go up there because I'm in the bad station or not. No, that's from the people to say, it sounds like that's what you say. A lot of people are saying that's what should happen. I'm not, I'm not saying either way. A lot of people are saying that we get rid of this bear and put this bear instead.

But yeah, that's not, that's not what you're saying. No, I understand statues are problematic. I understand that. For real people. Yeah. I'm not a fan of fictional people. I don't mind real people dressing up as fictional people. And there again, I'm parading around a bit.

Oh, right, right. Like, you know. I don't find of costumes. I don't mind that being a bit of fun. So you're not saying I'd be totally comfortable with a statue of Florence Nightingale as Pikachu. I don't know. What are you... I'm dressing up as Peter Pan

and having pictures with the kids. Yeah. Better play to living. Okay. Don't build a statue of Peter Pan. Do you know what I mean? No. Crucially.

I really want to. Yeah. I really want to. But I can't. So what is your problem with... If your kids go, oh, Peter Pan, amazing. I love that.

Can we have a vote by the statue? You're saying, no way. No, that's rubbish. Yeah. Yes. Great. You can go on a photo with the bloke who looks like Yoda who's cross-necked on a stick.

Outside the South Bank. Exactly. You can go to a photo with him. They're like, we don't really love Yoda. We love Peter Pan. Doesn't matter. Crucially,

living statue, mu. Yes. Non-living statue of non- never-existent creature. We turn them all down in the night and then replace them with living statues.

Turns out, I'm on board with living statues. Guy dressed as Shrek in a dirty tunic waving outside the Shrek experience. Double thumbs up. The big statue of Disraeli, forget about it. We're not having that.

Don't tear down a living statue for the love of God. That was a... Oh, that was... My accident. We didn't have a lake. We didn't know. That was a sad day.

Why wouldn't he say something? Because you hadn't put a pound in. He was committing to the bit. Unless you put a pound in, there's absolutely no way. Well, it was a statue of Gromit, wasn't it? That was the problem. He's just laying train tracks down in front of himself.

So, yeah, honestly, the night they toppled Yoda. Sat. Honestly, a lot of people, you know, obviously there was the photos on TikTok of people celebrating, but that wasn't everybody. That wasn't everybody. There were a lot of people who actually supported that regime. Ultimately, you said the Magpie left, right?

Yes, flew back out. Didn't hit any windows. No, it was okay, I think. But very startled and peed everywhere. It was not very bad. Because you were filming it. Yeah, maybe. Were you getting it too much down?

direction. We're like, yeah. All right, can we do that bit again, please? Not what your head's moving as you're walking along. Could you sort of... That is a win. The bit you don't want to have to do is get up and... Grabbing a bird.

You're just for people who are listening on the audio, the only version. Tom mime strangling a magpie. That's picking it up. It's wings fluttering and fluttering and you'll try grab onto its feet and get it out the door. Yeah, yeah. That bit... Got got to the wings on the feet.

That bit's the proper. You don't want to damage their wing, though. It's all horrible. Yeah. It's all horrible that bit, trying to manoeuvre a bird. How did the shit come up? Cleaning up the shit. Oh, yeah.

You know, it's okay. We've got wood for a lava bit. It was an awful. So have you discussed to prevent this happening again in future, a balcony scarecrow. Of some description. A human statue, if you will. Basically, this has been a long con.

You've, you've, who wants the job. Barry's got, Barry's, I'll do it. Barry's got a Yoda costume and a lot of green paints. He's got a bit dressed like one. Listen, he's not got the voice. Crosby's going to be voicing me from off the page. He wants it to come from a real person from Andor or whatever the fact

Yoda's from. Crucially, Yoda should not have an American accent. I don't know what Frank Oz was playing out. I agree. Shouldn't have an American accent. He's clearly not an American. Thank you. He's a little green man with big pointy ears.

Thank you. Who sits in a papoose. Not like any American I've ever seen. Yeah, I'll do it. Either that or CDs on a string. Oh, yeah. CDs on a string, they hate that, don't they? Or an owl?

You're supposed to get an owl? Yeah, but not a real owl. That would be the same problem. The owl keeps coming in. I tell you what, I don't have to clear up any magpie shit, but it is owl, honestly. It solved our mouse problem, but it's pellets everywhere. Absolutely eyeballing with the whole day. You want the stature of an owl, basically, is what we're getting you.

You're birthday. Thank you. The top's going to come around and tear it down. It's a, listen, it's a Trojan owl of Tom's in size. I think we finally come full circle and realised statues of animals. There we go. But not talking animals with English accents. Statues of animals.

Real life animals. Statues of real life animals. At Embrer would love that. It looked great. Animals are problematic, yes, in their own way. But, you know, you let it off. Yeah. Yeah.

I was going to tear down a statue of a fox because it's, you know, this has gone to their bids. Yeah, or it's rutting outside your house. Yeah. Are we talking, are we talking urban animals here? So are you saying that, you know, instead... Finally, we get caves back to the high street. Look out, Welshman.

It's good to have the... We've got a crossbow and we're not afraid to use it. If you, listen, if a Welshman puts a pound in that tin, baby Yoda's going to fucking go off over here. Why is Baby Yoda rifling round inside his sheeted robe? Do I detect a Swansea accent, sir? Oh, sorry, I meant Swansea accent, do I detect? Finally, the proper accent.

So there you go, there it was, another one in the bank. It was lovely. Wasn't it lovely? We all had a lovely time. The greatest hits. There's only five subjects to talk about, isn't there? It's only seven stories. One thing we forgot to mention.

One thing we forgot to mention was, of course, the opening ceremony to the 2012 Olympics. And that would have could. If you had that on your bingo card, I'm so sorry, guys. You can now shout house very loudly. Was Paddington in that? Would Paddington, we've definitely talked about Paddington. No, no, was Paddington? No, was Paddington in the opening ceremony at the 2012 Olympics.

And if he wasn't, he would now. Yeah. Like, there is no way, if we do an opening. Olympic ceremony in the next 10 years. Yeah. Paddington is in there with a bullet. We can't get back into this. Okay.

No, we absolutely can. And one of the things that would be in the opening ceremony is the last opening ceremony. That was such a significant thing. Okay. Get in touch. Is Paddington giving you the arseole? What would you like to see statues of? And would you come and see a statue of us?

Yes. And also any loyalty card. references that you want to send our way, Clark will be well into that. Anyway, we've forgotten. The Holland and Barrett card. Do you know that one? Oh, it's a niche ref.

Today's episode was produced. Bye, Olivia Swash. Hello. Cheers everyone. Bye! Yep, yep.