Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy’s Flatshare ep 1615: Phil Wang's Cancun spring break, baby!

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Should somebody stop us booking flights to The Mask dining experience? What's Phil's pick-up artistry past? And is Matthew really just "interested in Neil Strauss as an author"? We’re joined by Phil Wang to talk being the puberty of his generation, the complex class system of the all-inclusive resort, and how Clarky handled a free bar at the Chortle Awards. Phil Wang on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/wangpix/ Phil Wang's UK & Ireland tour - https://www.philwang.co.uk/ Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy and https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - patreon.com/pappysflatshare Tickets to all our live shows - https://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Olivia Swash with tech help from Max Brill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Bev. And I am Matthew and he is... Phil Wang. Whoa! Wow, the guy himself. Yes, welcome to another episode, a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share. See if you can guess who our guest is today.

It's so funny if it wasn't, Phil just popped in just to do the intro. Why not? Why not? We had a great old chat with Phil until he got really sad at the end. You look forward to that. I did make it quite real out of mail. You know what? That's very big in podcasting at the moment. That's true.

End on a sad note. End on a sad note. We'll start on one. A lot of them are talking about, a lot of them are talking about grief and about addiction and that kind of stuff. So we weren't quite talking about that, but you definitely got sad. We stopped before it got worse.

Yeah, the things I was getting upset about weren't really personal, but it applied to everyone, which is sort of less fun. Even worse. Yeah. There's much much worse. Anyway, you've got all of this to look forward to. There's a lot of fun before then, though.

And Phil is a terrific bloke to hang out with. If you want to spend a bit of time with Phil, what are you up to soon? Oh, yes, please. I'm going on tour in the UK and Ireland from September of this year, 2026. Please go on my website, Phil Wang.com.com. uk, because I'm a patriot for the dates. And I will not be a downer on the show. It's funny.

I don't end it by getting really sad. I promise. It's not like one of those Edinburgh shows where there's a little bit of a sad bit when you cry about your family. Nothing's bad. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. Great.

Which is really annoying. So it's just, it's just laughs in it. Great. Well, let's get into the chat with Phil. We'll see you on the other side. Phil, anything you want to say?

Other side of what? I was just saying on the other side on the other side of the podcast. Phil's thinking about death again. Oh, I guess I'll have to say is thank you for joining us. Enjoy the show. show and a pleasure to meet you.

There we go. Good, good. I'm just trying to position my body so that I take up space. Yeah? You've got to take up space. There you go. Exactly, yeah. How's that? Yeah, I've been reading the game recently. No. I just don't get too squished in it. Well, you must have been a pickup artist in your day. I did, I did read the game.

Of course. When did it come out? Not soon enough. There are two books, though. There's the game and there's the rules of the game. The game is Neil Strauss's book. Now, I love, because I'm obsessed with Neil Strauss as a writer. Because all of his books are like, how can I basically get towards success? So he hung out with Motley Crew and he wrote a book about Motley Crew.

He's like, oh, right, I'm going to be successful now. And it didn't quite, you know, like, Moly Crew became more successful. And then he hung out with the pickup artist and then became the most successful pickup artists. And that was the way he got success. Right. And so he wrote the game, which is like the story of a man having a breakdown. And they were like, hey, this game thing.

Do you want to write the rules of the game and become the poster boy for it? He was like, yeah, okay. So he followed up the game. So the game is sort of the biography. Yeah, the game's the biography. The memoir. The rules of the game is the actual textbook. It's like becoming the guy.

It's the technique. Sorry, guys, I have got to go. I didn't know. You're going to write the rules of the rules of the game. I need to get to Waterstones now. Do you think they suck in Waterstones? The rules of the game. It's very funny to go an ass.

Going with a purple hat with a peacock feather out of it. Pick a female and go, you, not so hot girl. Do they stop for all of the games here? Just shoving the book as long list out of the way. Hey, you, I'm looking for a proper book. But I read the game once like 20 or something.

And what it boils down to is be confident. Just if you can be confident, people like confident people. That's it. One thing I remember from it is the only good response to a compliment is thank you. That's the only good, for a British person, very hard to hear. That's not, that's good advice. That's generally good advice. He's starting to warm to this.

He's leaning, Tom's leaning closer to me. It's not all bad, is it? Just say thank you to a compliment. The only good response to compliment is thank you. What would your typical response be? I mean, pre-game. What was your typical response before you found?

Give it what compliment first. I'm still waiting for my first. I'm still waiting to try it out. Bill, I've got to say one thing about you. you. Yeah. You've got a great mustache. Thank you.

I don't think I've got it down exactly. I don't think I've got it down exactly just yet. I think it's really hard to read tone. He didn't say what voice to say it in. You didn't hear the audiobooks, is it? Oh, man. That would be so funny. If Neil Strauss is doing the audiobook and he's like, the only correct way to respond is,

thank you. Me, me, ma, ma. That compliments. So yeah, that's the only book I've ever read. Was it 2005-ish? It felt like it coincided almost perfectly with my generation's puberty. Right. Almost perfectly.

Is that the way you view it? Rather than your own puberty, you would wake up in the morning and go, ah, another day of puberty from my generation. You were the presidency of your generation, weren't you? Yeah, just like people described you. Opening my bedroom window. It's a red letter day, brothers.

For today we become men. Liam Williams might have been the voice of your generation, but you were the puberty of your generation. That's what they said. Yeah. Yeah, we're the two horsemen of our generation. He had the voice, but you had the hair. I got it to come.

He got the voice, I got to come. What's you up to now this guy? Has he moved on to, has he managed to move away from the game, or is he ensconced in it? He, oh, he had, He had the absolute classic story. He then went into,

is Polly the way forwards? So we wrote the book about that, which he probably wrote about 15 years ago. Then the rules of Polly. Polly won the cracker. And then I think he sort of fell in love with somebody and had a nice relationship. It was like, oh, that's what I wanted.

This is how all these stories end. This is how all these stories are. They all end in a very heteronormative way. Every single time, which we keep trying to reinvent the wheel. And we keep coming back to good old Mr. Weill. Don't we? No, he writes books like going to the DIY shop at the weekends. And like the rules of DIY.

It's just a suburban dad. Yeah. That's what you want to do. Yeah. You get to a certain age and you're like, I can't be dressing in purple suits anymore wearing a fake nose ring and putting my hat on girls' heads in clubs. I can't be doing that anymore. I'm just going to.

Oh, my God. It basically sounds like the game was be the mask. You know what it was? It was. It literally was. I've never heard it so succinctly summarised, but it is. A lot of people did say somebody stop him as well. Just pop your suit on and start a compliment.

But that's true. When, like when in, is it Spider-Man 3, where he effectively becomes the mask. Oh, when he becomes evil. He becomes evil, but it manifests in a cool way. walking down the street and going, hey, to ladies. That was, that was like the same. Walking up the back of a chair and doing that for, you know, with you.

The kind of move. The controlled chair for. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't, I reckon if you did that in a modern school, no one's giving you a high fire. You're getting beaten up, aren't you? Yeah.

If you're like, I'm going to do a move that was last popularized by Gene Kelly. I don't think you're suddenly going to be. be the coolest guy in the school. I'm going to run a wall. But yeah, that's what it is. Be the mask. Be the mask. Be the man, be the mask. There's my book sorted.

I was, I was, I went on holiday this year to Mexico, don't a break. Whoa, that's a big holiday. It's far. It's far. Is it your biggest holiday in recent times? That's a huge one. You reckon that's huge? For me, it's big.

That is big. Yeah, but that's, but it's just in terms of the distance or like how, much pressure you feel to do a lot of stuff. Both of those things. And also like being in a, like there's an excitement to Mexico, it feels like. And a hint of danger. Yeah.

Yeah. There's like an excitement, a hint of danger. Ah, so it's an investment. Yeah. You're taking a gamble. Yeah. You could not come back. There's just like, there's a lot going on basically.

There's a lot going on to Mexico. Yeah. Big change. Yeah. It's my first time ever in Latin America. But I went, maybe quite foolishly, maybe a waste of an opportunity. But I went because I just,

wanted like a beach. I don't normally want a little beach holiday, but I wanted just a little resort holiday, but in Mexico? Yeah, well, it was down Cancun, down that coast. Did you go on spring break? It's what you're saying? You went to the real Cancun? I brought bead necklaces for everyone. Packed his purple hat. It packed up to the game. Well, we were in Pliadal Calman, which was down the coast from Cancun, but you fly

into Cancun. Right. And there was an ad in Cancun for a big show. and it was like the mask, but like the mask, like dining experience? It was like a big mask show. All right, right. Kind of like, you know. Did you go?

No, no, I didn't. I didn't, but all these poses everywhere, it seemed to be the main thing happening in the Yucatan Peninsula was the mask dining experience. I don't know what it was. The ads made it look a bit like Magic Mike here. Yeah, cool.

of like really hot ripped guy just won the mask. A man with the green face. And the yellow suit and that was it. And I don't know what the show would have been. It's like one third of the Blue Man group basically. Splintered off and gone, what can I do now? And it's like...

The thing is like all the, all the valuable things that happen in Magic, Mike, the movie can be done by real men. Yes. All the importance. Yeah. If anything, it's sort of down to earth. Yeah, absolutely. Whereas in the mask, everything that matters about the mask is not achievable in real life.

Like when serving a meal. Every time he serves a tasty meal, it goes, oh. Imagine my eyes are going out really far. Imagine I'm like a tornado right now. You getting in a little bit off? I should have fucking gone. I know. I'm desperate now to go on the mask dining east.

Like, again, the big dining experience, obviously, the Faulty Towers dining experience. But that is literally basically set in a restaurant, isn't it? Exactly. Most of the work's done. Yeah, it makes sense. It's doable. One of the characters is a waiter. Jobbies is a waiter.

The mask was like a human cartoon. You know, you throw tacos into the mix. It's just not, it's not, you'll be said. Are there like other, what are the other elements in the mask? There's Cameron Diaz on the piano, right? Mm-hmm. I forgot the piano element, but yeah. What's your piano?

at some point. I think that sounds about right. It sounds like the kind of thing that would be. I'm thinking maybe is it the mask-dodding experience but the mask doesn't really turn up until the end or something like this. All the other, all the other... But waiting for God meets the mask. Waiting for the mask.

It's just the normal guy threatening to put it on. Any second now. Or it's because that's what happens, isn't it? He does. He takes it to the better, like his psychiatrist and puts it on and it won't work. Maybe it's that scene just played out for 90 minutes while you eat a taco.

Well, I wish I remembered more scenes from the mask. Everyone remembers. I remember the sort of that it had tropical origins. And when it first appeared, they had that bongo. Which you can't do anymore. No, exactly. But back in the day, every movie in the 80s and 90s started with generic foreign land, spooky thing.

Five bigger comes to New York. Was the mask from Mexico? Is it South American origin? Maybe they're like, we were. Is that why they can do it in Mexico? Because they did the big musical number. They did the Cuban people. That's cute.

It's Latin America. It's Latin America. How often do you watch the mask? Answer, honestly, please, Ben. I, you know, just the usual twice a year. Birthday and Christmas. Of course, Christmas, Christmas morning. We're talking per Adam here.

So I think because it has South America and the mask might, I think, have South America. and origins then maybe that's where they can put it on. With the not being cultural. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've taken it back. The algae marbles. They've brought the mask home.

Yeah, that's all I remember from this holiday. I don't even remember the holidays. You remember that I could have been at the mask. It could have been at the mask. Did you get out at all into? It was very hard. Mexico. It was very hard. It was not the sort of American style of life where the resort itself was in a complex by a big motorway. And in the complex, it's beautiful. But to get to the next town,

you can't even get to the motorway. You can't get across the road to get the bus. And we said to the reception, well, how do we get to the bus stop? And you can, you can hire a taxi from the hotel to the bus stop, which is already being more expensive than, like, as expensive as just taking a taxi all the way into town. So, like, we were kind of trapped in there, like, trapped in paradise, but trapped. But then that's, isn't that because, it was it all inclusive or were you, spendy, spendy, spendy, spendy each place? It could have been all inclusive, but it would have added so much money.

And the first, we sat down we arrived and we had our first dinner. And I looked at the price and my girlfriend could, she tells me now, she could see, like, the color drain from my face as I realized how expensive food was it here and that we couldn't get out. You were trapped. we genuinely then like had two meals a day like really loaded up on breakfast yeah

just like skip love brought a bag for life to breakfast and just all the guys just fill it up and take that to the beach when you started to realise I've loaded up at breakfast because the breakfast was free

but why how you load it up are you popping it up your hat type paddington who's the guy who shows up in a stovepipe hat to breakfast every morning what's his field he says it's because

he's British. Just, it's going to have to be three more stacks of pancakes, please. The only thing is that fit under this hat. You return immediately

going, hmm, more pancakes, please. Many ball syrup just coming down to the foreheads. No,

no, I'm fine. Just eat a lot of pancakes very quickly. It's really hot burning your scalp. Just, you know, you take your beach bag

with you to the buffet. Like, you don't do it at the buffet, you do at the table. Right. Yes, yeah, of course. This is a master.

Yeah. You're just coming down here a little bit. Listen and learn, boys. The kids are very useful for that, like, distractions. Quick, you have an affected bit over there. Special plate or something, were you? The thing about going all-inclusive, if it's spicy as well, if it's like a big price,

then you get into a dangerous kind of competitive eating scenario where it's like, well, I've got to get my money's worth. I've got to eat for value. I did that all you could eat buffet at the Bellagio. once. Did you? Yeah. When I was in a road trip in America.

In Las Vegas. Oh. Yeah. When you're in Vegas and it's like, it's supposed to be the best one. It's one of the, yeah. It's one of the, it's one of the biggest hotel casinos, isn't it? The Blasio. Yeah.

And the all you can eat buffet there is supposed to be like, that's the one to go for. But it's still quite pricey, but like in terms of very, for it. And like, you're there. And it is literally like, it's lobster. There's Waggoo beef burgers just served up on the side. There's crayfish. There's lobster. And it's like, right, we've invested in.

this. But whereas when you pay for a tasting menu at a fine, like a Michelin starting, they bring you out just enough each day. They control you. They're like, yes, you paid 120 quid and you want to feel like you get 120 quince with, but trust, just trust us. Yeah, yeah. Whereas with that situation, the brakes are off and you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

You're coming back with two lobst going, like, is this a way to start this? I don't know. Oh, no, I'm feeling full and I'm having a plate so small. And it's like, yeah, and the same plate you've got like sushi, a burger and a, a dollop of ice cream. Is this how you do this? And it's like, God, is this, have I eaten $120 worth?

I don't know. And it's like, you need to want to guide you through that kind of thing, I think. Yeah, and you think if I had gone to a normal restaurant and paid a third of this, I'd have a nice meal in before. Yeah. And one nice thing. And I wouldn't be panicking all the way through. Yeah.

That's it. And I, for the exact same reason, I've always felt like all inclusive. I've always liked the idea of it. I've never done it. But I do always think, I think I'd go berserk. Well, I've seen you.

a free bar, Chautel award. You barely made it to the last award. And it's because we got in and it was like, the bar's free. Clarkie goes like, ding, ding! And it's like suddenly double part. I had three pints within about 20 minutes of being there. He's got a really tall hand. He could not control the man.

And someone else went to the bar. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get him in, get him in. And it's like, it's okay. It's okay. Relax, relax. It's 645, Clarkie. Chill out.

And he'd be like, I have an eating tea. I've got to go home. And it's like, that's what you, that a week of that with you would be a nightmare. Yeah, that's it. You suddenly grow a really big hat. Yeah. Where did we get a hat from?

He blew all his money on hats. It's like, get the money in. It's half eight at the morning, Clarkie. You collapse. I like the idea of an all-inclusive, but I hate the idea of wristband. I hate having a,

you have to have a wristband on you the whole time. Like, you're tagged. like you're in an endangered species. You've got to spend a whole weekend in the Canary Islands feeling like, I don't know, a parakeet. And you can't leave. And you can't, yeah, that's right. You're like a zoo animal, basically.

Well, the other thing is there are different wristbands as well. Yeah, there's a classic. And if you walk into the bit where they're like, oh, I'm so sorry, sir, you've got the, you've got actually the poor people's wristband. So off you go back into, you know where all the screaming children are and all the, you know, all the sunburnt guys in their vests. That's more your speed.

Yeah, this is for classy people who haven't brought their children. These people can have spirits. They can be trusted. Yeah. You're back in what we call Clarkie classes. Trust me. Join me. Welcome back.

Popper messed on. Why is he dressed as the mask? But they do that. I stayed in an all-inclusive place in Jamaica. And day one, like the first. first thing they say is you come to like the orientation and they say to you okay so this is what's available in the resort and just to tell you if you leave the resort you die anyway so it's like what's the what's the night showerland movie where they're like don't go outside of the village it's like

and you're like oh isn't it just isn't outside just like normal like no no no no no no no no it's stabby stabby killy killy you know it's like no no no no are you sure because the beach over there seems good no no no no no no no that's rip off you know you stay here and we'll bring you drinks, they will give you the bill at the end. So there's an orientation session, there's like a training day. Yeah, they basically say, here are all the things you want to do and they're all stuff that we've organised. And you can, of course, you can go off and do stuff

with other companies if you want to. They will kill you. They'll murder you. They will murder you and they'll rip you off. Do you think half of the hotel staff, like they have a shift where they have to wait outside the resort and look like they get a carjacks someone? Like just to keep the Yeah

And like staying Running around with the guns and stuff Yeah so you're on balaclava duty You know You're just in a huge cleaning You've just got to walk around the perimeter Just looking really really sketching Just whistling and holding a baseball bat

Like the town's fucking lame miss They're all like choreographed Like we're really miserable out here Covered in like stage such Just like three stock lines over and over again Like video game characters. Did you do any of the kind of like evening entertainment? Did you go to any of the like where they put on a little show for you and stuff like that?

We didn't have any little shows. We did get a little boat ride around the marsh. It was built in a marsh. Crucially not the mask. Not the mask. Before you get excited, it wasn't a mask boat experience. See that guy over the middle of the water waving in a suit suit? We're going to circle him as the sun comes down.

We got a little boat Around the marsh Yeah because it's built in a Mangro Forest by the sea And you got pootled around In a little boat And they show you all the little All the crocodiles

That live in the water And that can come up Presumably into the resort at any point But they kind of glazed over that Don't go anywhere in the beach I was all part of their thing Motor way Crocodile's that way

You ain't leave it Okay Piron is over there I think that's landmines I think Man minds over that field. Guy in a balaclava whistling with a baseball bat over there. Yes, he's doing a little dance.

Yeah, the guy with the green face in a yellow, so he's crazy. Don't go near him. Yeah. It'd be a good place to stage a social experiment, wouldn't it? Like an all-inclusive. An all-inclusive resort where they can't leave. Or like, if you found out there was like a voyeur's tier, where it's like billionaires are paying to.

observe and like in squid game they're all tearing out and you're allowed a certain degree of control like you can you can you know you can add one little bit of food poison here you know a little that's the other squid game or whatever

it's like you realize like people are allowed to kind of you can get a personal change to have an affair with one of the guests see what that does to the family unit so it's like a real life sims team strengthens it it's like send in Raoul it's like you have

one mega hot personal trainer it's like right send Raoul into that situation let's see what happens kind of thing and you can kind of mix it all up this is awesome this has Channel 5 written all over

yeah the resort or something like that or just you know last resort last resort yeah beautiful I like it yeah or maybe just Raoul

it's like a Trumanesque show yeah you have like a real Raul buzzer and enough and the public can vote to activate Roll his cage opens Like a raptors. So you're saying it's Truman Show.

Shooter! Truman Show meets the mask. Yeah. And Rolls the mask. And Raoul's the mask, of course. Somebody stop Raoul. So what did you do then? If you're not seeing any of the entertainment,

what did you do with this holiday? How long were you away for? Seven nights? It was a week. Yeah. Yeah. A week. Did you ever play a card game?

No. But my... This guessing game is going nowhere. We can't guess what you did. My girlfriend, Bron. My girlfriend's in publishing. She, she, some of my, she worked with, publish this book,

Crossword, the cryptic, everyday cryptic. If you know this, cryptic every day. Daily cryptic. Are you making this up? Sounds cryptic. Please, yes and me here, guys. Please, yes and me. Well, give us one option first.

Did the game not teach you to listen to what your girlfriend does? It was too busy trying to get your hat on her head. She's like, listen, I've just published it. this crossword book. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Please listen, Phil, I'm telling you the title of my book. It sounds shit. Every day, some shit or other,

hey, you got my hat on. You've friends hotter. No, teach you how to do crosswords. Oh, right.

Yeah, but no card games. As in, as in, it's a question like, did it resort to card games? Is it what you mean?

Like, did it get so bad the way? Not even resort. I just think, like, you could go anywhere in the world and you still end up

wanting to play a card game when you're on holiday. yeah yeah sometimes I just wonder if the holidays just doing well the holiday really just doing the same relaxing things

in a different environment you realize at the end and you're like actually I'd rather just um I'd rather just have a wank I'd just have a wank somewhere hotter I'll have a wank somewhere hotter

I guess um it went all the way to cancun it sounds like a fascinating book you've published darling but I'm off to the host I'm actually off to the hotel room for eight or nine minutes

probably it's Phil's it's A version of me, pray, love, but it's just whack, whack, whack. Four letters. W blank and blank. We did manage to get down to Cancun, actually. Now, I just remembered.

Is that a euphemism? We're a pli del Carmen, which is a sort of kind of party town on the beach, which inexplicably had a, what's the artist with the monobrow? The Mexican artist. Frieda Kahlo. Oh, I was going to say the Gallagher brothers. And then.

They had a museum of hers about her. That was quite low grade, I would say. And part of it was a sort of like cinema experience where you get to experience, get to. The accident that broke her back. Because she broke her spine when she was on a tram in Mexico, you see what? And a bus, like, they were crushed by another tram. Oh, no.

And her spine got mashed. and ever since she had this sort of brace and a lot of her art is about this chronic pain and as part of the visitor experience you can sit in this room on these benches and there are these like projected images like screens all around you that simulate the crash

so you get to be in the crash but it's also like artistically done and like done by students so it was like someone's student project and so you just sit there and the lady it says thank you for coming this is the crash she leaves and then this video starts and just go click click click click click click click click click click and then I'm like all and like just images are like cracking glass

and things around so it's like the windows are cracking ah you're just sat there the series of move they're just like wooden benches and a guy in a balaclava hits you in the back with a baseball bat Go bang, stay in the resort, mate. We told you not to leave. They hand the lady a fibre, thanks. But it was just us, me and my girlfriend, and then to our right,

it was just an old lady, and it was just us three. And like, doing the screaming bit, the real, I guess you would say, climax of the experience, I looked over and the lady's just looking at a phone. And it was just amazing to see a lady look at a phone while around her,

just feed a collar going, ah! I'm like, lady, this minute. It was four minutes long. So, yeah, that's my presiding memory of our trip. So you learned how to do cryptic crosswords. And you were in a simulated tram crash. And you went in the party town of Cancun.

And I didn't even see the mask. Yeah. Which I imagine very similar experience. It's a long way to go. It's a long way to go. But it was a good time anyway. I thought you were going to say they had a cinema experience where they just

watched the film, Frida, with Selma Hayak in it. Oh yeah, she did that. There you go. I have two hours of that. It's like what's going on here? It's like teachers, like supply teachers. We haven't really got any of her pictures, so we're just going to put a DVD on.

I can't really share anything more than that. I can't remember if they tried to call it a 4D cinema. You know, they call these varieties 4D cinemas. And then they add Ds depending on what they do to you, how much they can do to you. during the ride. Yes. Because it feels like a bit of a drop in quality between the Ds.

because the first 3Ds are dimensions of space. Yes. Which is like, well, every time you add one of those, it's quite a big deal. Yeah. And 3D are the snakes coming at you. And then the fourth dimension is you get sprayed with water. It's a lot. And your chair goes, jiggle, jiggle, jiggles.

Yeah. Yeah. Smell. Smell is the other one. No one told Einstein in this. It's like, what is the fourth dimension? It turns out it gets sprayed with water. It's a little bit of spray.

It just turns into the senses then, doesn't it? It's like, oh. Oh, yeah, seven dimensions, has to stink a bit when the tram goes through the sausage factory. And you can really see as well, when it gets to those dimensions, you can really see them desperately trying to bring in things where like, you know, like, I did the, the Shrek 4D or Shrek 5D or whatever. And you're like, I don't remember donkey sneezing quite as much as he does in Shrek 5D. donkey's constantly sneezing and coughing and you know you're like I mean I don't know you can't do it now after COVID obviously you can't be given donkey sneezing your face but yeah

I watched a film recently that I realized like 10 minutes in I was like this was a 3D film because suddenly there's so many shots of just things coming time really for no good reason and you're like in a normal film in a 2D film it looks so stupid Like that person was waiting at a camera. It feels like every 10 years or so, it gets another, they have another crack at 3D. And it becomes like another big,

we're going for it. Yeah. And it's never sticks. It's odd. It's odd how we just don't want it. No one wants it. Yeah. Yeah, from time and time technology, like,

hits this assumed next step. And we go, no, we don't want. It's kind of like the metaverse. You remember the metaverse? Yeah. No one fucking went on the metaverse. No one was in the metaverse. They spent $200 billion.

on that trying to get people to use it you went fuck no and that's why I have a wank well ironically one of the best places there's no one around very private very private place to have a wank it's just no dick very hard to wank

oh no I when I had my next toverse character I didn't have the top off I was just bottom off only it was like I had like two things like the thing in Adam's family and then a per leg and the dick but I think that's why

quite sanguine about the arrival of AI and especially of AI produced culture and art is I just remember they can't make us like anything they can't throw billions of dollars at this they can't actually make us like anything you don't like and they couldn't make us use the Metaverse I don't know they can't make us watch AI films

we can't get people to like this podcast we keep adding more deeds as well I mean the thing with AI as well is like the people who do like it basically want it as a bit like a Google search that says well done. Yes. You know, or Google search says, that's a good Google search, mate.

That's kind of all it is really for most people. And I'm sure people are using it for exciting stuff. There's good stuff as being used for, like predicting protein shapes and things like that. Very handy. Like doing experiments and just take a lot of time. Our experience of AI is large language models, which are not AI. They're just search engines. Yeah.

They've read all of the internet for us. Yeah. And they can tell us our search results as if they're real. But they're not, they're not smart. They don't actually know anything more than you. And most of the information is just from Reddit. Yeah, well, it's like right 80% in the time. And I heard someone say, would you use a calculator if it was right 80% of the time?

Well, no, I guess I wouldn't. So it's actually not particularly useful. I thought you said that AI was predicting protein shakes. And I spent the next 30 seconds going, yeah. I don't know they're doing that. Chocolate. Why are they predicted protein shakes? Like, oh God, I'm thick, aren't I?

What are you supposed to be in there? A bit of collagen. Humanity has reached the end of what it can do with protein shakes. We can't figure out the next one. We need more flavors. It's like, yeah. Time's calling AI. We peaked at wheatgrass, I'm afraid, guys.

We need to take a step up. But, yeah, I've not used any of the, I've still never used chat GPT once. Me either. Because it asked my phone number, and I, I've become a bit tinfall hat to when anything else for my phone number now. That's why you're no good at the game.

The girls trying to chat you up. All right, nice try, China. How did you know my name? You pop your tinfoil hat on their head. I'm not giving you my number. No, no, no. Does it ask for your phone number? Are you sure it was chat GPT?

Before I... Before I tell you what to go in this protein shake, let's get your digits. I think it must have been early on when they ask for it. I think they don't anymore. But when they do, I was like, no, I'm done. And then I just use a Google one because it's forced on me. Yeah.

I really have to be. I'm quite a late adopter. Things really have to be forced on me to. The Google one is, by the way, 80% of the time is, that's way too high. It's the thing at the top that they tell you. I really try not to deliberately. Can't get rid of it, though, can you? You can't get rid of it.

It's like it's impossible. Yeah. And you can, you know, you can type two things that are completely like, if it was like, you know, Phil Wang Taskmaster, there is no connection between Phil Wang and Taskmaster. Taskmaster is a show that is on in Canada. You're like, they're always just wider the mark, aren't they? Isn't there always like every couple of weeks, like a thing that if you include in your search, then it won't go to AI?

Like, if you put fucking brackets between every world, then AI will not engage. It's like, oh, okay. I don't know if I'm going to do that, though. Yeah, my kid's unwell. Is there any trials that are not but fuck every, fuck before the word CalPol? Just trying to work out whether or not I should be going to the GP or just something that's on these things.

Sun, fuck, not fuck, breathing fuck. Question mark. Blue fuck trial. Oh, great, now I'm on a register. And it's not the GP one. it was like when people used to put the little messages to whoever was reading when people had Gmail and they would like be like fuck you people you know they had their signature like fuck you anyone who's reading my and you always go like the people who are worried about it and not the people

who are being surveilled yeah you know the people are like oh they're going to get all my data you're not doing anything interesting copy and paste this message and then it'll stand yeah that was that was such a wonderful time the facebook statuses oh my god i i i i hereby proclaim that Facebook Incorporated has no legal right to my photography views or intellectual property herewith I'll be weird like legal words

with standing upon my person personhood It's always here with It was a big red flag You're like What's my auntie doing using the word Herewith? She hasn't used that before in her fucking life

And Terry Know what you've never had intellectual property in your life Oh, that was a glorious time. Social media used to be so fun. Yeah. It used to be so fun. And when people were crazy, it was fun crazy.

You're not dangerous crazy like it is now. Well, it was, I think, again, bringing it back to COVID. COVID was the time when you were like, oh, the fun crazy has become dangerous crazy. Because, you know, you're on the family WhatsApp. Your mom has sent you a picture of what appears to be a photocopy of a fax. You know, like, what is like, it's so degraded. You can barely read it. And they're like, we have found the.

cure for COVID, it's drinking hot tea and breathing. It's like, yeah, no, no. If it was that, we'd all, you know, it'll be fine because we do that anyway, right? We're in Britain, we're drinking hot tea and breathing. You know, it's like, where is this come from? Where's this first come from? And that, I think that was the thing, that almost tore my family

apart that cure for COVID thing that my mum sent to the family WhatsApp. Oh, this is a real thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Drink hot tea and do deep breath exercises every day. It's like, it simply can't be that. And also, wouldn't that be on the telly on the daily briefings before it came to your WhatsApp mum. Do you not think Chris Witty's telling

us that before Karen from the church is telling you that? Also, breathing deeply is surely the worst thing you can do. That's the, that's a good thing. Yeah. Go into a public space and do some deep breathing. Yeah, my, my, my, my Malaysian uncle, um, uh, also he just said, nope, not doing it, not getting the vaccine. Just going to drink lemon and hot water. Lemon or hot water. That's all you need. And to be fair, You never got it. I mean, fair play. Maybe it was on to something. But that was an amazing thing.

It was like it was global. It went across cultures this attitude. This denial. Yeah. Yeah. I think we'll never get. Never recover. Oh no.

I think we'll never recover. Oh no. As a society. We're done. Yeah, we've crossed a Rubicon with COVID. What's your COVID hangover? For me, it is we always have, I would say, upwards of 800 toilet rolls in the house. We've always got.

so many toilet rolls. We've constantly, we've, and it just, it started, you know, don't stockpile toilet rolls and everyone's into the,

into the supermarket, like ransack in the shelves. Every other shelf was full apart from the toilet rolls. And we've never lost it. Yeah. You know, there's only four of us and two of us are little kids.

We are all, we always buy like the big industrial block of toilets. Every big shop. So once a week, industrial block of toilet rolls. We've always got it. That's more a hangover from my diet as well. Yeah.

It's a different thing. Oh yeah, yeah. That's COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got all of those. So I've got all those wet wipes as well. Yeah, someone comes over you before lockdown starts. Oh, you've heard about this COVID thing.

You're like, COVID? What's that? Why are you just exclusively got toilet roll and baked beads? I had a nice COVID hangover moment this week where for the first time my boy came to do the big shop with me and sometimes take my mother-in-law. She hasn't given up on the mask in the supermarket. Not, of course, they're...

Don't get me wrong. Not like Phil Wangin on his holiday, exactly. She gets the big shop done quick. Somebody hasn't stopped her. So she sticks it on. And it's the first time I took her to Superbar. He's mega excited and then

his grandma puts the mask on and he goes, he's like two and he's like, what's that? She went, it's so I don't catch germs off people and she walked off. And he looked at me and I looked at him and was like, and we had a real bonding moment of like what hell's that all about

and I'm not going to tell him about COVID I'm just going to enjoy this little bonding moment of going yeah she's crazy yeah that's healthy yeah there's two ways you can go well it gives her peace of mind

or you've got for the second option it's much easier if you can do one with a gesture Yeah. Oh, I don't have a COVID hangover. I think, I think just that my reticence

do any work, I think. I can still think like, oh, I've got plenty of time. And I realize, I've lost, I've run after time. You know, I still feel like time has no meaning. Yeah, that and also you're feeling that we'll never recover from it. And the feeling that I'll never.

I think I'm depressed, actually, guys. I think I might have a hangover, actually. My hangover is a clinical depression. It's sitting with my head in my hand saying We'll never recover. Phil, I've published this crossword book. Do you want to?

We'll never recover from it. We're in Mexico. They're doing a mask, theater dining experience. You might as much have a bloody wank. Should have just had a wank, shouldn't I? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's my angle of, I'm afraid. Thanks, guys. Thanks for coming on the podcast, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. It's been useful, I think. Yeah.

Some kind of. break through for you? Yeah. Or a breakdown, I think. Sorry, everyone. I feel like I've really brought the tone down. I've made it too real. We'll pop the mask on. Oh, no, it's the free to Carlo video.

Oh, no. I mean, come on. It really was like that. It was just like, ah! I don't know. Just someone recorded on their phone voice memo And just sing us out It's Frida Carlo

The Frida Carlo dining experience There we go Phil's still here I'm still here I won't leave He won't leave I won't leave, they've asked me to leave already We're only recording this now

because they're running out of time If you enjoy what you do Please get along to Patreon Support us in our journey as we podcast To the Grave That's pageant.com forward slash Pappies FlatShare. Yes, indeed. And of course you can join us on socials at Instagram, YouTube, TikTok.

We are there. Full episodes and clips will be found in those places. So go and join us over there, please. See Phil on tour. Oh, and follow me at Wangpix on Instagram with an ex. Oh, thanks everyone. Cheers. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Today's episode was produced by Olivia Swash. Hello. Cheers, everyone. Bye! Are you gonna leave now? Yeah, yeah. Can I stay?

Yeah, I was gonna talk to my cushion corner. Yeah, that's it. Is that a nice spot? Do you feel okay there? We always put, I guess, there. Yeah, I always feel a bit bad. I do feel a bit like, I do feel a bit like a hot girl at a party and you're all trying to get with me.

Yeah, that's exactly what this podcast is.