Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare ep 1619: "The timeless appeal of flicking the Vs"

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Is it actually lucky to get pooped on by a bird? What do we consider to be a "recent" film? Have we found the answer to the rise of Reform? Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/ https://w...ww.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live NEXT LIVE SHOW: June 22nd - Flatshare Slamdown with special guests Phil Ellis and Chloe Petts, Phoenix Pub, Cavendish Square, London Produced by Olivia Swash with tech help from Max Brill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:52 Look forward in your change. Greetings, listener, dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew, and that took me, by surprise. You really launched into it. People, by the way, people who are watching the video, by the way, welcome everybody to a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare. But people who watch the video say that I have got a sort of spaced out look on my face in the intros and never more so than this one. I'm literally gazing off into space and then suddenly have to look down the barrel.
Starting point is 00:01:27 But welcome one and all to a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share. It is a very exciting one. Tom Ben and Matthew, the three of us sit together and we chew the shit, shoot the fat. I'm talking about Ben. It's very fun. So get into it. This is one of those. This is one of those episodes. It's never to me either.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Just across. I've sat there while Tom and Matthew discussed me. Tom and I, well, we do discuss. We do. Yeah. Discussed and discussed you in equal major.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Tom and I talk over Ben in every sense of the term. He sat between us and we don't let him get a word in edge words. But today is one of those very fun episodes where Clarkie attempt. to tell an anecdote. Enjoy, we'll see you on the other side. Before we start this very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share, let me tell you all about the next Pappy's Flat Share slam down. It's happening on June the 22nd, 2026 in London.
Starting point is 00:02:27 That's right, London, the nation's capital. It's at the Phoenix Cavendish Square, and you're going to see Chloe Petz and Phil Ellis as our guests. Absolutely brilliant guest. Phil's never been on before. Chloe's been on before. We can't wait to have both of them on. But come along to the Phoenix, Cavendish Square on the 22nd for a fantastic flat share slam down. Tickets are still available and they're available from pappiescombe.com forward slash live. Cannot wait to see you there. Now on with the show. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Already an episode. Parry has the
Starting point is 00:03:08 whiff of blood in his nose. Straight away, Clarkie says, and by the way, Clarkie's not said a fucking word. Just the two of us talking. Clarkie says I've got a starter. Off Parry goes. I'm always ready to interrupt Parry interrupting Clarkie.
Starting point is 00:03:26 The system works, guys. Good story, by the way. Thanks, man. Should we end it there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a pooped on by a bird. Oh, no. The day.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, more misadventures of Britain's unluckiest boy. Even the birds have got a whiff of it. Did you try and tell him an anecdote? I was in a boat at the time. I must say. An anecdote.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Clarkie's anecdotes. It's another Clarkie anipote. Yeah. Properly. properly on the face. Yeah, boy, jackpot. That's good. Now that's mad because we thought when we paid that bird,
Starting point is 00:04:18 we assumed. We knew he was good. We didn't know how good. He said he had great aim. He did say. Were you sunbathing or something? No, it got me in movement. So you weren't proffering your face to the sky?
Starting point is 00:04:32 You weren't shawshanking it. You hadn't told you. Donald out the flat again. We have told you about Shawshanking it. God got out through the sewer pipe and then got shot on at the end. That's a very funny thing to happen
Starting point is 00:04:50 in Shaw's Daywardession. Andy Dufrein crawled through 30 miles of shit and then he gets out in the river. And he's like, fuck this goes back in. If anything, it's better in there than he's out of here.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I would follow somebody who did that. A bird shitting on key movie movies. Yeah, yeah. Well, because immediately, as soon as you say the Shawshank, I think of the platoon as well. On the knee, you're looking at, there are certain images. Yeah, front of the boat, Titanic. Front of the boat, Titanic.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Of course, it's got to be on a boat. Trouble at the door. Good afternoon, good evening. Oh, God. Like, whenever. And you know, any second hour would think of a recent film. But that's not really what we do. Pretty recent, actually.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Truman Show. They're already remaking the couple of years. Okay, what's some recent film? The drama. That was a drama, I guess. It's terrible, isn't it, when someone says. Tom, name a recent song. Go on, name a recent song.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Happy bird. to you. Happy birthday. Well, it couldn't be more recent. It's the person, this is going to do, zero. It's their actual birthday. So he's game the system there. Yeah, very good.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Clark, you name a recent TV show. Widows Bay. Oh, you know what? Here's the thing with TV shows. You could say anything. That's true. And I did. You did.
Starting point is 00:06:33 He said, Woodose Bay. Birds, Pooh, Head, man. Crying Park Where were you going? It's a story. It was just We were just having a walk A leisurely walk
Starting point is 00:06:47 It's a nice day It's like let's go You are asking for it You were rubbing it I was smiling Yeah I might have been skipping At the time
Starting point is 00:06:56 Mouth open Were you talking at the time Well it's me So probably not What's the risk With bird poo Can you go blind? If it goes in your eyes, can you go blind?
Starting point is 00:07:11 Can you go blind with bird poo? You can with dog poo? That's famous. Yes, that's the one. Yeah, okay. The big thing about... It's rare you get that. I mean, like, I know it's because people pick it up and touch it and rub it,
Starting point is 00:07:22 but if you get shat on from a height by a dog... Into your eyes. Into your eyes. Even I'm having it. That's really unlucky. Yeah. There's a dog on a boulder next to the river where I'm... frame comes out of
Starting point is 00:07:37 and it just shits in his mouth. Oh my God. I guess it's raining. At least there's that. Yeah. Is it raining? I hadn't noticed.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Well, I noticed that. It's raining cats and dogs. Bird shit's a weird one, isn't it? Because it's kind of obviously not brown. Classically not brain. Well, there is a bit of it going on, actually. Someone who's been up close and personal with it.
Starting point is 00:08:18 But it's gilded, isn't it, by the white? It takes the edge of it. I didn't felt like it was taking the edge off, if I'm honest. Was it anywhere near your eyes, though? Where's it got you on your face? Down here. Yeah, maybe. So it sort of parts your hair slightly, and it goes down the side of your eye, down your cheek.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah, Scarface style. Oh, yeah. A little to make the one of the good one. First you get the money, then you get the power, then you arch. Oh, yeah, yeah, aye, aye. Just to check, that was a pile of coke I was sniffing, right? Why did you get white on every face? Machine gunning the skies.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Well, they're machine gunning you back. The birds? What'd you do then then? Well, this is the thing. This is where it gets interesting. Well, I would say that. Then I had to try and ask people, see if anyone, I was with Megan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:32 You were going out to strangers. Excuse me. I'd been shot on by a bird. Did you see that? Can you help me? Can you give me five? bounce. You're basically
Starting point is 00:09:42 the woman out of home alone too. That's what you've become. Yeah. I, we were like, oh, if we asked parents
Starting point is 00:09:56 if we've got a Prap, they'll probably have some wet whites. People running away. Which we did. But well, there was that? You shouldn't have tried to kiss the baby.
Starting point is 00:10:08 He's running for mayor. He's running for mayor. Vote for Ben, bird shit, Clark. Oh, come on. The birds trust him enough to shit on him. So, so should you. He's keeping the shit off the streets. Happy to take it on the chin.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Actually, the good, it's not a bad mayoral campaign for somebody who's campaign, their campaign manifest to his old letter. They'll shit on me, so they won't shit on you. Ben, Lucky Clark. Hey, you know what I did the other day. I, um, because we, dressed as a bird, hired a hand glider. Carry on.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Oh yeah. It was weird. It wasn't white. He actually did say. Had a great time on a zip wire. Were you at going to go away? It was scary. So the other day, because we have had a lot of reform, uh,
Starting point is 00:11:14 candidates in our area because, great. I'm living in reform. Sorry, go on. They look like you, funnily enough. I'm living in,
Starting point is 00:11:22 I'm living in reform country at the moment. Right. We all are. Well, we are. Yeah, yeah, that's true. But yeah, so Bromley,
Starting point is 00:11:28 Beckenham, you know, they were dangerous. They were dangerous areas for reform taking a stranglehold. And they were outside the local bakery as we were driving past
Starting point is 00:11:39 and we stopped at the crossing to, you know, to drive across. And they were all like, with their side. and I flipped them off and it felt amazing. I loved it. And I'm not a flip-off people I don't know kind of person.
Starting point is 00:11:54 I'm not a flip-off merchant at all. I don't think I've ever seen you flip someone off. Well, there's only one dude who has and his kids, unfortunately. But, but yeah, so I flipped him off and he and which I loved. And then it was only later. Cosby's things flipping off is voting for him. had ticked him off He doesn't understand what flipping off makes
Starting point is 00:12:19 I went straight to the ballot box Big cross by the guy's name That will show him No thank you No Gone no reform in my In fact I'm going to do it three times All three of them
Starting point is 00:12:33 Cross there, cross there and cross there That'll learn the bastards Yeah Yeah so we were driving down We were driving further down the road and then and Charlotte to go like, are you all right? And I said, yeah, that was great.
Starting point is 00:12:49 I loved it. I thought it was pretty. It was, but like, no, because you never know if you like, you do it. And then you suddenly like, oh, it's just a person. Start crying. But he said, he said, have a nice day, right? Oh, well, have a nice day. And I said to, I said, Charlie said, what do he say to you?
Starting point is 00:13:07 And he said, I'll have a nice day. You know, that's classy. And I was like, no. That is not, it's not classy, is it? No. I mean, I'm not saying I was classy. I'm not saying you have to be classy. There's no one saying you've got to be classy.
Starting point is 00:13:21 But I think, I, I, I, I, it, it's parry on the, you're making a lot of noise with it. You did a Farage impression then as well? Very, it was very farage. Was he a farragy type guy? Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, he was a far.
Starting point is 00:13:32 he was he was no he was because they they they they come in all stripes in our area but this guy was he was an older man a man of a certain age yes uh gray hair reasonably well dressed he wasn't fully suited you know he still have other people um but he was definitely but it did feel like the kind of like uh you know when when farge got milkshaked he clearly took great pleasure with well that's you know yeah that's disgraceful but i move on yeah and i go like someone who's just been shatown by a bird. I don't vote for that. Pretty sure it's milkshake.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Were you milkshaked in the park? Were you handing flyers out for a row? Skipping along. We've done well. I didn't know what was on the rosette. I just like the look of it. Just like blue. It's like a big color goes in your eyes.
Starting point is 00:14:24 But yeah, so what you think it's, you think that's not the thing to do. That's not the done thing. It's a peaceful protest. It is, yes. I think I mean I don't know I think anymore do you think
Starting point is 00:14:37 do you think they go low we go high is that what you you're more of that of that kind of thing I think so I don't know man you should have done it
Starting point is 00:14:46 it felt fucking amazing yeah it felt so good and it was just for me it wasn't it was just for me and him just me to go I'm not voting for you
Starting point is 00:14:52 and this is what I think of you guys yeah you know I think for me it felt it felt like the right thing to do well there you go that's all you can do
Starting point is 00:15:00 it felt the right thing at the time and still feels like everything and I'm still buzzing. And I'm thinking about it now and my entire body is vibrating of how good it felt to flip off a guy with a reform poster in his hands outside the sponge kitchen. You've got to give them the bird. You got to give them the birds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Was it a single finger or two fingers? Yeah, it was a single finger. It's just that, just one of those, which I think two fingers is a bit too. It's a bit too friendly. Bit too friendly, yeah. It's a bit too. Get out of here. Very English though.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Yeah. Yeah. I just find it funny. The two fingers. I don't think it's much of an insult. Yeah. I can do it to my mates. You did your mates?
Starting point is 00:15:43 You did your mates? Last time you did that to your mates? Behind our backs, he does it all the fucking time. See that to my mates. Yeah, man. When I'm hanging out with all my mates. Yeah, I'm in the park. He's just got shot up by a bird.
Starting point is 00:16:01 That is the thing we're making. it. One of the biggest feelings I had with it was nostalgia because it felt like such like an old fashion thing to happen. This hasn't happened since last week. This really puts me in mind of last Thursday. I haven't had a bird shout on me since like, you know. What do you think of the people who say, well, it's lucky.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Not on the face. It's not lucky. No. It's about as unlucky as it gets. Are you vibrating thinking about it? Did you flip off the bird? A bird in the bird. It is an inherently American thing, it feels like, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:16:43 To give the middle finger. Yeah. I'll go one step further, and this is sort of visual only. But I think there's that flipping off the bird, or there's the sort of new metal thing, which is that, where the two knuckles point forwards. And I love that. That feels fucking.
Starting point is 00:16:59 That's very American. But it's very hard to let you practice it. It's very easy to go. And you come up like. You just bring up a claw. A claw. Just bring up a claw. And he's like,
Starting point is 00:17:09 when everyone started doing it, you'd be like, right. But then you actually start to execute. It's like, I've got to really practice that. Yeah. Because it comes up and you're like, oh. Just. Oh, fuck it again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:20 And just Star Trek's that guy. Whereas that feels. I had to wind down the window for this guy. Oh, yeah. Electric. I'm not doing the, you know, the wind of things. So already I've got one hand occupied. I can't use that hand to force my fingers into the correct shape.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Oh, no. Hang on a second. Charlie, don't drive on. I've got, I'm going to get this guy. Hang on a sec. Let me just get my... He thought your Nazi sleets. There you go, buddy.
Starting point is 00:17:42 He thought your Nazi sleets him. He was like, great. Have a good day. Yes, another voter. Brilliant. Solidarity. He gave me a Nazi salute and then crashed his car. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Do you remember? Because for me, the first getting to know the middle finger. Yeah. Yeah. Was naked gun when someone's on their driving. driving lesson. And the driving instructor gets the old lady
Starting point is 00:18:12 and it's like wind down the window put a thing, now extend the middle finger. Very good. And like she goes and she gives the middle finger to the truck driver. It was naked gun I think wasn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. That was my first thing. That's me and my sister going oh wow, that's rude. Is it what she's just there?
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah. That's where it came from. Yeah. It's very exciting. Yeah. Whereas I like flicking the Vs in the place. waygrained. Oh, to do with my mate.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It's like we became friends, is it? Clark, he's just standing around. Who wants to get my
Starting point is 00:18:44 fingers met across a crowd of rooms? People always think, who's that keeps his thing, isn't it
Starting point is 00:18:49 with his friends? He's just flicking the bees to his mates. Can anyone, can anyone, can anyone,
Starting point is 00:19:02 can anyone? I can see the guy in the anorak flicking the viz at everyone. The guy in the park of it bird shit, just flicking
Starting point is 00:19:09 the visa up. Can I see your baby wet wife, please? No, not until you put down the can of special brew. I got absolutely crushed when I first flick the Vs. Oh, really? Yeah. Because we were on a school trip and I was like, I'm going to try this out. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I remember that that's the big. Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to try this out. We're on the coach. Right, I'm flicking the Vs. And my mates, yeah. Clark is on board. He gets it.
Starting point is 00:19:44 He gets it. He gets it. He loves him and his, mate. Love this story, by the way. And someone said to me, someone said, you're doing that a lot today? Have you only just discovered it? Oh, no. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:19:56 And the answer was, yeah, I had. And he was like, yeah, everyone's been doing that for ages. Oh, rumbled. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's like when I try and do six, seven with my kids. You know, and they tell me it's so last year. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:20:12 It's one of the things. Cleo is obsessed with telling me things to so last year. And you're like, you've been alive for six years. You haven't had enough years to say so last year. She's right, though, mate. She is right. You've been alive for six, seven years. I remember my brother teaching me the word bastard.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Like late at night and then the next day going in school. It's really told you about being adopted. It's when he told you about being adopted. wasn't it? I'm like, what? Trying on the Vs. I went into school the next day and tried it out. How did it feel in the mouth?
Starting point is 00:21:00 Oh, there was immediate repercussions. The kid I caught a bastard. He was like, to his mates, he was like, I hold him, keep him there. And he went to go. He would have got a bird. Pin him down. Oh, we were friends. Getting to look up.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Held a chicken over your face. Two eggs cracked on your forehead. The start of a lifelong, a lifelong love-hate relationship with having to clean up eggs. Something, what, they held you and then got a dinner late? Yeah, yeah. What a she did punch with the stomach? It was his mom.
Starting point is 00:21:43 The dillays, putting on knuckle duster. Work the bobby. Got one of those metal trays and just cracked it over your face. W.W.E. style. It's face the wall for the rest of break. What? Yeah. Like the Blair Witch project.
Starting point is 00:21:58 That'd be another good one. Bird shits on the... Another recent film, of course. We're getting closer. We are getting closer. We are getting closer. We are almost into the noughties now. These are all up for Oscars this year, I believe.
Starting point is 00:22:16 She had to face the wall. Yeah. Face the wall for the rest of the break. And it was his word against yours anyway. She hadn't heard it. No. But I think, I mean,
Starting point is 00:22:28 I just said I had. And after this, you still went on to flick your vities at the mates. Yeah, yeah, that was a rebel. Is that your way of sort of going, listen,
Starting point is 00:22:40 are you cool? If I swear, are you going to be cool about it or are you going to get a dinner ready? Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do here? off-lawed. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Bollocks was the first for us. Oh, yeah. Me and my sister tried out bollocks at a basketball game. Beth started saying it. We knew it was rude. Beth started saying it and then it was like,
Starting point is 00:23:00 oh, we can start saying bollocks a little bit of it. What can what you're saying? Check out the bollocks on that. Check out the bollocks on that. A basketballer's got big bollocks. That broke with the Harlem Globe trotters. He's dribbling three balls.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Check out the ball. Pollux. On that basketball. Obviously, do you know, you know, Clarkie's least favorite basketball player, Larry Byrds? Honestly, you don't want to stand under him. Yeah, he's slam dunks. You don't want to be anywhere close to him.
Starting point is 00:23:35 He's dunking twice. What did she say? What did she say? What was her? She just like, oh, bollocks, they're losing. You're right. Like, oh yeah, pollocks. And then was there repercussions?
Starting point is 00:23:55 Well, no, because we were there with Cool Auntie. So it was like, that's when we could try it out. That's when we could try it out, yeah. And it was the same, I mean, I'm sure I've said this problem, the same call Auntie who, cassette, and this must, I mean, like, yeah, God, this makes, I was quite old, but gave me a cassette tape recording of the Port Fiction soundtrack.
Starting point is 00:24:15 With all the swearing. It was open with a big swear. in it. Right at the top because I wasn't allowed it. So like that's cool cool auntie for swearing basically. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:28 And then and then I also, I mean and again in terms of transgressions I can remember my parents were going on a school we were going on a day trip with a school with a grand, our godfather
Starting point is 00:24:39 sorry fucking out our godfather who was like a family friend and he said I'll take them to McDonald's and they said anything but a big mac you're not allowed to big Macs because they're expensive.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Yeah. Whatever. It's got to be Riala with cheese. That was how they, that's how they should be out. Yeah, it's Rial with cheese. It's there. Ah! Who's got the Pulp Fiction soundtrack?
Starting point is 00:25:00 It would be cool. And then we got in and he said, you can have what you want on the menu. And Beth was like, I think I want the Big Mac. And I was like, yeah, I want the Big Macs. And then we got in and said to Mom and Dad, we had Big Macs.
Starting point is 00:25:14 And then got sent to our room. So, like, we'd always transgress and always tell. Tell. That was our kind of relationship. Yeah. I remember you and try to tell it on yourself.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Yeah. Very. We're out with bed flicking the moose. It's like we hang out. Oh no. It's very Christian. Yes. Isn't it?
Starting point is 00:25:34 It's sin. Yeah. Confess. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, are you? It's the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:42 You confess and they send you to bed. You're like, oh. Oh, you bastards. Do you want to say to that? Bullocks? Flick the least to mum and dad. Grounded for the rest of your life. Are you a swear in front of your parents now?
Starting point is 00:25:57 No. Still not. Really? So even if your parents come to a flat share slam down, which let's face it, they do very regularly. I swear them. Would you ever think, would there be a part of your brain going, oh, I won't. I won't swear. No.
Starting point is 00:26:12 I try not to let it affect me in that way. it's funny how there's an automatic sliding scale that kicks in isn't there like i now come to say i would go to like shit and not even think about it in front of my dad but like in front of your parents yeah i'll go to shit not even thinking about in front of my dad does it on me as well shit on ben tom well i wouldn't use it totally like a human being i wouldn't go to fuck yeah i don't never go to my parents how to what i have yeah But you know, like, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you have cutoff points like you side to scale, like, a bit like the BBC.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still would, I still don't say shit in front of my parents. I got in trouble with my mum recently. No, this feels very mild, right? Yeah. Yeah. But my brother and my dad went on a trip, uh, up to the sort of Scottish Isles to, uh, to, to, to, to just do, to, to go puff. to go Puffin watching, right? Oh, nice. Lovely little trip.
Starting point is 00:27:19 What a fantastic trip. Were you not invited? Well, they're both into birdwatching. They're both witches, you know, so. Well, Clarkie's not. The birds watch Clarkin. Yeah, you know what? They came back, not a speck on them.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Unbelievable. Can't believe it. So, anyway, they sent some pictures from the, from the ferry over there. Yeah. And there was a picture of my dad looking through a pair of binoculars, right? Right. Okay. So straight away.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Right, straight away. I am straight onto Insta collage. And I'm putting it and I'm Google searching Barbara Windsor in Carry On Camping. And I'm doing a little split image of my dad. Because he was also going like, like lips kind of purse. So, so. So I got the picture. It's a lovely bit of a bit of a bit.
Starting point is 00:28:08 And I showed it to Charlie first. Yeah. Right. She's like fantastic. And it's Barbara Windsor from the Karen Camping. If I had got, you know, if I got, if I got, two girls one. Two girls. You know.
Starting point is 00:28:22 You know. A lot of scat there. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Lucky. Yes. We all remember it.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Thank you. But a recent film. Again, I don't think of the purchase. Did he win it in? Another recent reference. But anyway, yeah. So I wasn't getting, you know, body blue or something like that. Of course.
Starting point is 00:28:44 It was. It was Barbara Windsor in her little strappy bra, you know. I would have been a big. I'd say you what. We would have had a word with it if you lived on that. Lovely photo of them, queuing to get in the Buff Buff Puffin Sanctuary. I thought, oh, well, I'm going to get involved with this. Both of them still got their wedding rings on.
Starting point is 00:29:08 It's not binoculars, it's a mask. No, let's not go down that room. Too sharp and horny. And the mask will be able to. Oh, I'm sure sight is. Anyway. He's going to see the front of the queue.
Starting point is 00:29:31 What number of you got? I'm pretty sure I'm up next. You run the bat, mate. But anyway, so I... It's a lovely bit of business. A lovely bit of business. Since it's the family WhatsApp, there's a notable...
Starting point is 00:29:48 You know, then you suddenly have... Then suddenly, like, you're like, nobody's ha-ha in this. There's no loving... he's ha-harring it, there's nothing at all, and then mum is typing. Oh, no. And then the next comment, which, by the way, I've never been so scared and so, like, and howling with laughter at the same time, it was like pure panic.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah. Just, are you real? Oh, wow. Are you real? Question mark, question mark, exclamation, mark, exclamation, mark. Are you real? And I said, I'm so sorry. This was really funny.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Well, I'm pleased you're amusing yourself. Oh, dear. But then, then. Come on. DEMs. DEMs. You can't be DM me saying it's good stuff. No.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Don't? Yeah. DEMs from the others like, you know. The Duke. I'm calling out Luke Crosby. He's DMing me to say that was fantastic. You've got to go public on that. That was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:30:59 You've got to go on Maine for that. Justice for Crosby. Just across me. Come on, man. Get us in that group. Absolutely. First thing you're doing, the bee flicker emoji.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Setting your stall out, right? Go on. We're all friends here. Yeah, I couldn't. But also, are you real? Are you real? So now, constantly, like, that's now in the house.
Starting point is 00:31:22 If anyone does anything rude. Are you real? My kids are very sweary. They love swearing. I know. They also, because, one of the first books they really got into and they still love is Joe Wilkinson's book.
Starting point is 00:31:35 They love Joe Wilkinson's book because it's a comic book but it's not a comic book. And there's a very funny chapter where he talks about his upbringing, how he was raised by wolves and it's not stray wolves Wallhapped and Wanderers. So he's like raised by Wolfhapton Wanderers
Starting point is 00:31:48 and so they walk around the house singing piss on the villa we're going to piss on the villa and they love singing it. I love it as well. But Sylvie Cleo, are you real? You're on your way to nursery And you're singing piss on the villa
Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah No, I love it Are you real? Are you real? Terrifying to get though To still getting It's mad, isn't it? To still feel like
Starting point is 00:32:13 The cavalry didn't arrive That's awful Yeah Yeah No, to be fair No, actually to be fair To the Duke, he then sent a gif of Kenneth Williams
Starting point is 00:32:22 So that's fine Yeah That's fine Yeah That's all right A ha ha on the actual picture Is what I really needed Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:32:30 But a gift, you know. An early laughing emoji. An early laughing emoji, yeah. Tough stuff, man. Tough stuff. Oh, mate. Couldn't handle it. I love that.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Yeah. Would your parents, when was the last time you got told off by your parents? I was trying to think that. I was trying to think last time Tom got told on. Um, I cheated. at a competition to recite the colours of Joseph's coat. And you're bringing this in half an hour into the podcast? Why are you not?
Starting point is 00:33:17 This is an opening. This is an opening salve. If ever I heard one. Are you real? It was, yeah, it was last summer. And I thought it'd be very funny. I'd challenged, I'd called him out. Stan had gone to see Joseph and my nephew's big into it.
Starting point is 00:33:35 And I was like, I called him out and said, right, two months. time, Woolacum, me and you will have a colour off. Because I know of all and I've never forgotten them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Of course. No one knows them all. I bet you every production you go and see of Joseph Hidd has been and technical dream but they're seeing a different one each time.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah, because you can get into it. You get then red, yellow, green, brown, scarlet black, ocher, peach. Asher,
Starting point is 00:33:58 you've got to get that one. Olive. Yeah, and then you start to get it and then you realize you're in, okay, you run out of steam.
Starting point is 00:34:04 So I thought it'd be very fun then. I've picked it up all week like this competition. And so rather than learning, I kind of, I just thought
Starting point is 00:34:11 to be funny. So I wrote, I wrote them all down each arm. So I bought a long sleeve jumper. And then when it got to like, there was a big audience on the last night. And I was like, right,
Starting point is 00:34:21 Stan, let's go. And Stan did it. And then I got up and did it. And then pulled my sleeve down. It just started reading my arm and performing like that. Oh, but that's a bit. That's a lovely. It was a bit.
Starting point is 00:34:32 It was a bit. And my mom did not enjoy it as a bit. And told me, for cheating and don't stand cheating and cheaters and prosper and stuff so it was a bit of a telling off
Starting point is 00:34:44 for what I thought was a lovely bit of business yeah because you're still letting him win like no one's going oh actually sorry Stan Tom did actually get one of them Tom got all of them yeah yes he was reading
Starting point is 00:34:54 but there's nothing in the rules so you can't read him off your arms yeah so that's the close I've come to like a proper telling off I think I think that's about it recently
Starting point is 00:35:05 but then crucially I live away from home. Yeah. Which covers a multitude of sins. Totally. Yeah. Like the thing with my family and like
Starting point is 00:35:17 my parents and me is that I'm the golden boy now. You are? Yeah. Are you real? The V-flicker. Do they know about they know you're still flicking
Starting point is 00:35:27 the V-timore-mates? I don't tell them that. I've got a really good V-off switch, you know, when you're around, when you're around, a lot of people. So you're the golden boy now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:41 How do that happen? I don't know. So I'm just a bit nicer to it with the other kid. Well, you're always calling them up asking to borrow for money and stuff, aren't you? Constantly call you've got it because you want to do three phone calls to everyone. Sorry, I'm the gold digging. The gold digging charge, yeah. You've got to do at least three phone calls to every one you ask for money.
Starting point is 00:36:01 So you're calling every day. Just a chat this one actually, just a chat. And also the thing you forget about Ben's mom and dad is that they are. Absolutely love bird chip. I love what you've done with your face. That's gorgeous. That's gorgeous. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:36:22 The thing is, right, when I asked people for wet wipes, the reaction I got, I thought they were going to find it funny. I was like, oh, that's shit on my face. Both times I asked. Did you say shit on my face, by the way? in front of the kids no I'm sure I didn't
Starting point is 00:36:42 poop what did you say I'm a butt but a bird pee on my head yeah absolute disgust like
Starting point is 00:36:49 like I'd chosen it to happen they look to be like why have you done that you dirty bastard you are a strange man in a park approaching a family
Starting point is 00:36:59 with young kids baby in a pram yeah that's worse I'm just a strange old man with a beard his shit on his face looking into a pram what's wrong with that asking you to love me you had me a bird shit well there we go there we go there we are here we are and there we go if you enjoy what we do and you want to support your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave
Starting point is 00:37:35 then get onto patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share for just four pounds a month you get a bonus episode every week. You get these episodes early and ad free. You get discounted to our live shows, but you get that warm feeling of supporting the Papi's boys doing what they were put on this earth to do. Podcast to the grave. And of course, don't forget if you want to come to see and beyond. Podcasting into the afterlife. And of course, if you want to come and see us live, then pappiescommody.com forward slash live for all the tickets and details. and all the rest. Yes, we're on socials.
Starting point is 00:38:13 You know what to do. TikTok. TikTok. Instagram. TikTok. Instagram. And YouTube. YouTube.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Did you know anyone else to say YouTube? I don't know why they talk over me. It's weird. So it's at Pappy's Flat Share on TikTok and YouTube and it's at Pappy's comedy on Instagram. See you there. Today's episode was produced by Olivia Swash. Hello.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Cheers everyone. Bye. Yeah.

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