Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare ep 1620: "What song will they play at your fake funeral?"

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

What's best thing about attending a funeral? What's the worst thing about faking your own death? And is it better to be on the dancefloor or waiting in the car outside? Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/ https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live NEXT LIVE SHOW: June 22nd - Flatshare Slamdown with special guests Phil Ellis and Chloe Petts, Phoenix Pub, Cavendish Square, London Produced by Olivia Swash with tech help from Max Brill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. This spring, Denham gets a softer, lighter, update. Introducing Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg, a new fit that moves with you. It's everything you want denim to feel like for summer. Easy, breathable and effortlessly cool. With a fit that creates natural movement and a wide leg that feels modern, not overwhelming. Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew, and welcome to yet another very exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare.

Yes, that's right. This one's a fun one. We discuss funerals and dying. But it's a great old listen. And yes, if you enjoy what we do, you enjoy our output, then please support us. Get along to Patreon.com forward slash pappiesflat share. Four pounds a month. You get loads of bonus stuff.

You get early and ad-free episodes and an extra episode every week. So if you want to support your boys on their journey as they podcast to do, The grave. It's a very grave episode today, isn't it? What a fun one. Yeah, it is. It's giddy. It's giddy.

We get very giddy. It's a good fun. Then, yeah, get along and support us today. Otherwise, you know, we're on the socials, all that stuff. Get into this, though. And we'll see you on the other side. Before we start this very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share, let me tell you all about the next Pappy's Flat Share slam down. It's happening on June the 22nd.

2026 in London. That's right. London, the nation's capital. It's at the Phoenix Cavendish Square and you're going to see Chloe Petz and Phil Ellis as our guest. Absolutely brilliant guest. Phil's never been on before. Chloe's been on before. We can't wait to have both of them on. But come along to the Phoenix, Cavendish Square on the 22nd for a fantastic flat share slam down. Tickets are still available and they're available from pappiescombe.com forward slash live. Cannot wait to see you there. Now, on with the show. So, funny podcast, recently I had to go to a funeral.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, go on. Now, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So I had to go to a funeral recently, and it meant I had to buy a suit. So that was the, you know. Every cloud. Well, it is a little bit.

It is a little bit, you know. Yeah, I went to just a normal, like, high street tailors, right? Just a classic high street tailors. And I bought a suit kind of basically off the peg, and it was a lovely suit. I've realized the thing I like is somebody doing all of the thinking forming. You know, that's what I, like, I feel like that is a, there aren't that many shops where that happens. So when it does happen. So you're talking about like, not like it off the peg?

Like, what are they, I'm trying to give the name of the White Street suit places, like Charles, is it Charles? Moss Bross. Yeah, like, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a Moss Bross. Right, yeah, yeah. It was like a place like that. It was in Westfield, Westfield, White City. Walked in and they did, they did it all for you. They did it all.

And I loved it. And I said, I need to buy a black suit. And he said, I could do you a tuxedo. I said, it's for a funeral. He went, that's good that's not Bruce Forsythage I ruffled shirts

and tattoos one of the few funerals where to dance on his grave is actually a sign of great respect Bruce his funeral a bit who didn't dance in his grave with the people who didn't like it

yeah yeah but yeah so I was I went and bought it and I every bit of the process I really, really enjoyed. I love the fact that he gives you, like, he gave me a shirt to wear. I don't know why that,

that, by the way, is disgusting. Yeah, the, the kind of trial shirt. Do you want to take, put the shirt that a load of other people your size have put on today and sweat it into because they're uncomfortable because the curtain doesn't quite go across, but every bit of it felt so, it's because it's so bespoke. Yeah. I was almost getting ASMR off it, you know, like the attention to somebody,

just getting attention just attention I think that's what it was did you get your inside leg measured no I didn't I just because what you need to do is get yourself to a fucking tailor experience

have you done that because if you like that then off you go well this is I had to get it I had to get it done like the day before you know because I just didn't it was it was an emergency basically

I couldn't show up in jeans right couldn't shop in jeans so I had to get to go and just get it all done but I loved every aspect expect a bit. And I...

Was that emergency, if you don't mind me, prying, like you're realising you didn't have a suit very close to the funeral or a sudden invitation to the funeral.

What it was. Or evening only. I just wondered why... She didn't like you, but we've got to make up the numbers, all right? Yeah, yeah.

We had a few drops out. Someone dropped out. Yeah. I just wondered why it was an emergency. Like, oh shit, the funeral was tomorrow or, oh shit, the suit that I thought I would wear.

Now, no longer fits. No, I just didn't have a... I was very busy with a bunch of different jobs. And it suddenly occurred to me like, oh, I hadn't, because you're processing, it was, you know, it was a family bereavement. You're processing that. You're not processing the admin of it.

Right. Until you go, oh, yeah, I've got to actually have a. You shouldn't leap to, great, I'm going to get a new suit. Yeah. Rubbing your hands together. Oh, sick of all the attention. She's gone. Great.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, I'm glad that that was an afterthought. Yeah, it was a definite afterthought. But I loved it, and I've realized now that I want to go back and just get myself for a real. You should go to a proper town and get the full experience.

Yeah, I want to go to. When you walk out wearing that, you're going to feel like. This is made a million bucks. This is made for me. Because the last time I think I had that experience was when I got married. You know, so that's a long time ago now. 13 years ago, I haven't,

I haven't gone for the pursuit since. I've had no need to. I like, I like the idea. And I feel like there's not many, there aren't many shops that do that for you. Tell you the, like there are a few shops that do,

coffee shops do it for you. You go to a really nice coffee shop and they stop you in the go, they take your measurements. Yeah, they feel my crotch. Espresso. yeah they like like you know shops that are they clearly care

and they want to make it a special experience for you yes like an artisanal coffee shop will do that so I have the opposite I think I have the opposite reaction to you in those situations yeah which is I find all of that deep do you yeah and I want to extradite myself from as soon as possible

it used to be like buying stereo equipment used to be the thing I'd love it talking to the speakers and it's the one I have at home it's always the one he's got at home yeah you've got a lot of these at home yeah well I actually sleep here actually I live above the shop yeah any kind of

anything that gets too intrusive and well the measuring is intrusive yeah yeah but even like the discussion of it find like so when I got married I just went and found a suit and didn't really I didn't even mention the person I was like that we'd get married

in the suit really yeah I just wanted to try it on my own. Anything like that, I start to like get a bit. Oh, God. The guy, the guy looked me up and down. He was like telling me what he thought my measurements were. And I put the suit on. He was absolutely right. And I love that. That, that's a skill. That's a little craft that guy's got, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It is cool for that. I had a really similar thing. I went to a funeral as well very recently. Sorry, for you know. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We should. Yeah. Okay. All right. To all it takes. To all it takes. To all it takes. Actually, yeah, yeah, okay. That's good to know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good, yeah. I think, what did we give you a did you? Did you? Cool! Let's get into it. I was about to say, that can be quite fun, come on, man. I was going to sit on that because we haven't, we're not there yet.

Yeah, yeah. Turns out no. Yeah, go on, Clarkie, you're at a funeral recently. And I, the last time I'd been to a wedding, I bought a suit specifically at that time. Yeah. And I got that suit out and put the jacket. on and was like, no. Oh, really?

Yeah. That's my overwhelming experience with suits. Just a reminder that things have gone away. Yeah. A funeral was very similar as well. I'm grieving. All right. We're sorry.

I'm grieving for something else. I'm mourning my waistline. Okay. Yes, there's less of her, but there's more a ton. Is there a buffet? I'm eating for two now. I'm eating for two. She was your aunt.

Yeah, well, it's a funny thing in it. I should have love this sandwich. Yeah. My experience of suits is like, like, I went through a stage of kind of, he collected about five or six blue suits that were in different, like, incrementally getting bigger. Oh, right. Sorry, you're in size. Incrementally bigger and then get a bit smaller again and they're bigger again.

It's like, had different. You're a snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shetting blue suits. And then it's because, like, you bought. You don't want to get rid of them, but I did like blue suits, and then it was like, well, then, and then you have one black suit, but then that gets either tired or old. Yeah, I think the blacks, because I, I contemplated wearing a dark blue suit, and I thought,

something about it, you can't go, you can't go for you. Although I will say one thing, we went to pick up the, we had to pick up the buffet beforehand. We had to go to the old Waitrose click and collect beforehand. Yeah. And it's 9.30 in the morning. We're picking up a load of platters, and I'm wearing a black suit, and my wife is dressed all in black. And the guy goes, what you're doing today? Anything fun?

I don't know, mate. We're buying wilted sandwiches at 9.30 a.m. dressed in black. It's for a golf festival that we're going to. I will say the other thing as well. At one point, you've been singing all morning the same thing. This is so tragic. Put on the black suit.

Do do, do, do do do do do do do. Bouch. And I couldn't stop singing it. Me with my specs of my beard. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I'm Mr. Black, actually. The coffee's coming down the aisle. Everybody needs somebody.

Everybody. Sorry, guys. Who's that? Who's the pallbearer running on the spots? Can't help it. Is that harmonica? It's what she wouldn't have wanted. came up and did a speech attached to a briefcase.

Yeah. He didn't go for a suit. I didn't go to the funeral. Tried the suit on. I was like, I'm staying at home. Yeah. So was this because it was the morning of?

No. I made the choice to not go suit because the last time I bought a suit. and I bought it once and it doesn't fit anymore that's not good that's not a good return is that what you explain to people are you still there in Bermuda shorts

well the thing is yes I happen to be wearing vest in combat trousers I've just got to think about myself right now come on Clarkie no pocket in a shroud I love the idea yeah it just wasn't worth it

wasn't worth it for me No, well, I talked to a lot. The only thing is, it was his dad's funeral. That's the worst thing. Just isn't worth it, really. Also, Clarkie, I don't know if you know, but we're of an age when other people are going to die. But you're actually going to keep graduating weight. Sorry, sorry, I'm like, sorry, now.

Yeah. So it was worth me buying a suit, but not worth you buying a suit. Yes, that makes perfect sense. I'm just going to buy a box, mate. he's one of those people who gets he gets buried in a barrel the pool bearers

carrying his actual Niagara Falls that's an expensive plane tickets bloody hell how did he die oh right yeah so what did you do in the end

well here's a thing oh no neck I black jeans Boots. What kind of boots? What kind of boots you're talking? What cowboy boots?

White cowboy boots. Do you have a toothpick in your mouth the entire time as well? What's going on? Had you just rolled into town? Black jeans and boots. Whose funerals? It shares. Yeah, lace bodysuit on top.

I'd tell you what. If I could turn that time. well yeah the polo shirt black pink what color what was it was dark green do you know what we're going to do the outro to this

we want you wearing that outfit okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I will say this because I was very paranoid about the whole the whole situation I was like I think I'm going to have to buy another suit I didn't know the guy particularly well and everyone was like

it's not why you it's not like were you catering I'll say it in the game have you started crashing funerals is that's is that what's going on now to come to this

just to get some free grub I don't see it in my future I will say I was one of the more smartly dressed people was it that couple Maybe it was like, is that the kind of vibe of it? I don't know if they'd specifically said. They were like loads people in trains.

Yeah. Is he an athlete? Running club? What's what? Sending very mixed messages here. Yeah. It was just quite a casual affair in the end. There weren't many, many since.

Turns out he hadn't died. You said funeral. year birthday party turns out that would be a funny hit to get for someone 60th like a wreath with their name what are you my nan aren't you you like flowers what's wrong with that yes

I put it on the roof rack I've had to put the seats down in the estate do you want lying down in the back would you want would you want black tie at your funeral I don't care. I don't care. It's like whatever whatever makes the people who are still there feel comfortable.

It doesn't bother it. It's not like I'm going to pop out and go, what the fuck you wearing, Clarkie? A test funeral to see if Clarkie. Firstly, it started 15 minutes ago. I don't know where the fuck you've been. Of course you're all going to be alive for it. You're going to love the attention.

You're going to be like, I'm not going to miss my own funeral. Everyone's going to be talking about me. All lies on me The real dream is you get a few months to live That's what you want You can do the tour You know, you can have all the people saying Oh, aren't you a brilliant person

Talking about you as if you're dead But you're alive Yeah, that's the dream That's the attention That's the attention I crave Oh, terminal Yeah, yeah, that's the dream Yeah, yeah, I love that

Oh, the dream Great I don't think that's the dream What over being dead I don't want to have to put my affairs in order Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to have to do that. Just gone, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's so bad to that. I know, the stress of that. Why would you ever... No, thanks. Your affairs have never been in order. Yeah, so why start now? Why would you start now? It'd be a mad thing to live your last three months really organized.

Yeah. It's not how I am, you know. And also, the conversations must be really weird. Who's having a normal conversation with you? once the news gets out. Yeah. Who's just, he's just chewing the fat with your shooting the shit.

Yeah. Imagine if we had to do a few of these before. Imagine if we had some of these booked in and it's like you've got three months going and we're going, right, so he's got a funny thing to start with and you're like, well, I'll talk about my operation.

And I'll be like, oh, God, he's still here. That's it. It's like, you know. That's it. Outstaying, you're welcome. Yeah. Getting three months and then. Oh, we've got another three.

months. No, he's still here. We're recording some more then. How many in memoriam? We're trying to get six. How many would we try and get in the tank to keep going after one of us goes as well? I mean, we could see the year out. The worst thing would be if I get three months to live and you die within those three,

you both die within those three months. Just a pull focus. One funeral though, cheap for the wives. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. So a triple deck of coffee. Triple deck of. Slightly different sizes.

Like children. stacking blocks. It would work, wouldn't it? Like a little pyramid. People could walk up to the top to do the eulogy. Like a little stage. What you'd really want is little recordings of, oh, oh, oh God, as they're stepping up. Get off.

Don't mind that. Yeah, it's good stuff. If you are going to stand above, stand on top of three coffins, I can't believe I'll ask it. This is another episode of Pat we's talking about what it would be like stand on three coffins. Are you going to ask me what I wear a suit? because the answer is yes. Because I've got some kind of fucking respect for the death.

If you're standing up on three coffins that you've walked up on, like upstairs, do you want to be stood on the heads or the feet? I was thinking on the belly. Oh, I saw you mean going up? Yeah. Heads going up, feet going down. Oh.

Oh, so it's like a, it's, I see. So it's almost like, Is that the perception? You know, like you have to shake the wedding couple's hands on the way. They walk up a flight of stairs across. Parry, you've just, Harry's killed himself. He's, ironically, he's brained himself on a guitar.

That's not a bad idea. Where you walk up, you walk across a plank, you walk down, you go, so where's the deceased? You go, well, you just walked over him. You just walk the plank. There's a spittoon there as well. You trip to spit on your rage. There's a thing at the moment in football.

where like football clubs have quite a lot of them have like the crest of the football club as you emerge from the tunnel like on the ground yeah and people get very upset

when they when away fans walk away players walk across the crest like over the badge and like people like push them off and there's like fights and stuff but you've got to respect our badge so that the players can walk over

on the ground yeah like it's literally on a mat That's like, you've got to respect my work. So it's a bit like that, but with a coffee. Except the invitation is, come and walk all over me. You could pop a welcome mouth there. That's true. That's my nickname.

Welcome Matt, Tom and Ben to heaven. That would be tough, wouldn't it? Two of us get in. One of us gets turned away at the gate, expects the other two to leave with them, like at a club. We're going. Come on, we're all going to hell, right? Come on together, right? It's just, I do.

I just think if you go on ahead, then we'll like cats to us. Text us and tell us what it's like in there. See if there's a good crowd. I just want to, I just want to pop in. Yeah, I need to say hello to my mom and dad. Is that when you're clubbing? Is there a, when, in terms of night clubbing,

when is the next time you think, you'll go nightclubbing. I think it might be gone. Ever, ever. I think I will be, the next time I encounter a nightclub in any way will be, I will be parked outside waiting for my daughters to get out.

Wow. I think that's, that's human. Absolutely livid. What time. They said. Yes. You said. I said, 4 a.m.

I'm a very lenient. This is, this is, 2 a.m. Get back in there, you light weight. I'm another ecky. get back in there. Right, why are neither of you gurning? Where are the fellas? Where are the lads?

I will go in there and gurn for you. Yeah, no, I think, I don't think there's any... I can't imagine why I would end up in a nightclub. I did have this thought the other day. I can't remember where it was. Nightclub? Funeral. Funeral?

I'm dressed to go. Dressed to go clubbing. Might as well try and get in somewhere. I'm double drop to it. I'm not

sure I get in. Can't get in. I'm going to look at that mate. You've got to dress up. Oh boy. The,

yeah. My dad would be in the... Did you get picked up by your parents? Yeah. Yeah. You never did. My dad,

did you ever... My dad was always waiting outside the door. I remember one time we had a big argument when we were, Five to two.

When we had, we were going to go home together. Oh, brother. Okay. And I was waiting for you and I got fed up. I came outside to wait for you. You got and then you went. And I went, I went to a pay phone to try and phone you. What were you doing that you're just having too good a time or you'd met a girl?

He met a girl. He was back and off and I was on my, I was on my tar. but your dad had been outside and your dad was like, so your dad was like, oh yeah, I saw a bed, he walked off. Did you not think? So I was waiting outside and you're like, I know you were, my dad saw you.

I didn't see you leave. To go to a pay phone, who were you calling? Yeah. I wanted you to go like, come on. Then I could get to, and I was like, do you call him my mobile phone? Yeah.

Did you not have one? No. That's the bad stuff. So I've got a mobile phone And I'm getting off with a girl And I've got a lift home The Holy Trinity man You were living it up

You got it all And you had 10p to your name And that was about to be spent on Tom I can't get chips now Why didn't you want to have a You know, it feels like the night was young Even Tom's dad was still there I mean it was kicking out

It was kicking out time If double O was there It would have been quarter to quarter to Now, I think that for me feels insanely late. You don't think the idea of being up at, although I guess the next day, your kids are thinking now, the mindset where I get up at six with the kids, they're getting in at 2.30.

They're getting up until midday, are they? No. Get to listen to Radio 3 in a car. Sorry. These kids can't grow up fast enough. My kids are always saying, when can I, like, walk to school on my own, all that kind of stuff. I say, not only you're going to walk to school on you. You're going to walk to fabric on your own.

Imagine you're outside and then Harkie comes out of. I'm sliding down in the, putting my little hat over my eyes. Oh, Christ. Park, you want to get... He's going to get a phone on silent because I'm ringing... It's an unknown number, but. You can you pick me up, please, mate. You've got 10B for a phone box.

Green shirt on. My kids coming out of the club going, yeah, it was all right. A lot of creepy old bloke's in there. One. Yeah. Clarkie Big Big was in there. And he was trying to chat up our mates.

It's really odd. They call me Big Big. Back in the day. I ended up in one recently. I told you, I think, but I had to leave because we were all too old. Oh, yes. It was quite big. Yeah.

This is it. You ruin other people's good time. Ruin other people and we're like not by being in any way intrusive. Like literally we were just keeping ourselves ourselves. Just in the corner salivating. Yeah. Completely bummed the vibe. Yeah.

It's like fair play actually. Exactly. Exactly. It's in the same way that, you know, like 20 somethings bummed you out and you're down the bowls club. It's just, there are a sense. But here's the rules. They shouldn't be playing our music. Oh.

If it's our music, then, I think we have a right to be there. There's a rule there. They're not playing your songs, Tom. I've been on your SoundCloud. It's dog shit, mate. You haven't got a banger to your name. And also, can you stop saying Sabrina Carpenter as our music? I think if they're playing our music, we're allowed to be there.

That's the point. I think that's fair enough. Okay. You're playing a go, you see. So, so there, we used to go. I'm the wrong person. We had two nights out. Cheeky monkey, blast off.

Cheeky monkey. It was older people. Older people's music. We'd be there to enjoy older people's music, but you have to make, you have to know that the older people are going to be there. Yeah. And by the way,

those older people, 28. And we're like, bloody out. Extra threat of violence. I've got to rea your name on it. Yeah. Yeah.

There was like an extra threat of violence on Cheeky Monkey, I think. Yeah, yeah. There's always, like, it always got a bit messier because, you know, there's all of... That's the safety of the indie disco, wasn't it? Yeah. Like, I do think a big part of the music I liked, because it's like... Listen to me by soft people. Yeah, no one's getting punched during a Bell and Sebastian song.

People just going, I'm sure I came with a card again. I don't think you were at a funeral with Clarkie. That might smart me up. Cardigans only. That's not a bad carcary funeral, wear a cardigan. If they're playing the cardigans, by the way. That's my music, okay? So what about if...

And off the coffins. What about if you're in the club, they're playing your music, they play a slightly older song. They play a Fleetwood Mac. Are you sticking around? for that or you respectfully leaving to the smoking area until... He's just going to stop kicking the shit out of the 50-year-old.

Then you start texting your oldest and say you're down here. Dad, get out the car. Get into the club. You got 15 minutes. Come on in, Dad. They're about to drop high-ho silver lining and you're going to absolutely go on. I wouldn't mind that. You know, because that's what,

when you think about kind of reading discos, being like great, everyone can dance and stuff. Yeah. Yes. Wakes, it feels like... No, always dancing. No, well, sometimes, what they do.

Later in the night, yeah. The full on, yeah, and definitely like the more Celtic kind of weights. A lot of singing. Yeah, it becomes quite musical. Yeah, yeah, that's it. But I wonder if there's a world where you could kind of grow,

a business is like a kind of wake DJ. Well, like you kind of... One of Robbie Williams' less successful songs. I don't want a wake DJ. Yeah, Robbie. No one does. Why is he handed out cards? But it's like, you know... Why? Why?

I think there's a large percentage of people that we want to get to get... I do think that our generation, our generation was big into nights out and dancing. And I think that maybe that's, the newer generations don't happen.

I don't think. Okay. But we, we don't have anywhere to go and dance. Megan was talking about this a few weeks back. She was like,

I really miss dancing and there's just no, no dancing. I'm not going to start driving again, I am. It's my soft launch for it. Get your funeral out

foot on. We're going to go driving. It was seeing you dress like, that she was like well I miss dancing with you but you don't it's a wedding or

or bustling you don't go out and dance what you keep saying to Megan it's the wedding or bustmate that's organ it's your last chance to have a dance Harry wants to stack okay I don't know if that's true that there's nowhere else

well where are you dancing well I'm not but I think there are people out there dancing well I'm dancing at my clubbing Exeter and being told to leave because I'm too old. So I can tell you that they do exist. This is it. And I think our generation still want to have that. So maybe it should be,

maybe it should be clubs for older people. The thing is, I don't think there's enough people. I don't think there's enough people to fill up. Literally where we record the, like, flat slam they did. They do have an over-s sticker. They're out there.

There's an over-30s disco, but you would creep people out at over-30s. Over-30s. He's like, yeah, all right, we said over 30s, but don't take the piss, mate. Come on. I think if you were a fun, loving person who liked to dance, you get the three-month call. You start putting your affairs in order. I think saying, I want a big bash for my funeral and everyone to get merry and have a good old dance.

That's nice. I think Wake DJ. That's where the Wake DJ can. I did like that. And it's like, see me out dancing. That's what I'd want to say to people. No, I like that a lot. See me out dancing.

Don't all stand around. Because what otherwise? It's people going to stand around and talk about me and therein lies the rug. You don't want that. You don't want that. That's a good point. I want people to, like, Wake DJ, play the music really fucking away. Actually, there was that one.

He moves me. I'm wondering, when I said I'm a dance. Get a knock down, but not going to have again. Good funeral song. Wake DJ always comes around to tub thumping in the end. And is it, does he have to say how old was the deceased? Because I'm only playing their music. Yeah, well, I think you'd get a read on it,

much like when you're doing a funeral service, you know, like a fichionado, I want to say. I don't know why you want to say that. I'm something of a funeral officiado. So I don't, don't assume. Can I just say, definitely dead. Call me an aficionado of these things. I think you can have a few bangers in,

like, if you're starting to play a little cream bag, get everyone in their black seat. Yeah. Yeah. And the blues and stuff. Like that, there you go to is for your weight, DJ.

But then you get a re-in. Right. Much like a wedding date. Yeah. I guess so. I guess so. It's a tricky, like, it's tricky to get it started, isn't it?

Because it's a, it's a gear change, right? Yes. Isn't it? To go from, to go from the somber nature. I mean, I know. Well, it's Tom's funeral.

So. Some funerals are quite celebratory, but still it is a gear journey. When we finished the funeral, it didn't feel like, you know, we went back, we went back to some town, someone had some food. That was it. It wasn't, it didn't feel like at any point they were like, this is going to kick off. This is a kid. You know, I think it's going to.

But, you know, the right, you know, but there are people who are going to want it, basically. You're desperately waiting for Fat Boy Slim to die. You want to get together. You want to have a few beers, have a few sarnies, just like a wedding, kind of feel like the feel, and then talk about the person, great, and then celebrate the person. Yeah, celebrate.

Don't celebrate by just sitting around talking. Start dancing. So you've got to start thinking about what's the music that kind of starts to kind of, then what's the first kind of bopper that kind of someone's going to feel comfortable getting up on the dancework. It's tub something.

what yeah what is the what's the song that's the that's the big thing what is the song that's going to get everybody because it can't you know you can't be going for an that's an actual sad song can you can't play any sad songs really can you or well is there is i mean like there there are songs that kind of start off slowly and then turn like they grow into they become something else do you know but uh you know even like like say for example if it was If it was like me and I was going to give my weight DJ. Like say if you said all my friends, LCD sound system and it's like, there you go and there we go. And then you're into Brimful of Lange.

Then suddenly no one's not dancing. The Fat Boys Limbs? Yeah. Of course it. Of course. Yeah. So you play LCD sound system, like a seven and a half minute long song into Brimful of Asheny. You think by the end of that.

Really tough though. All of the, like, because you died. You died at 45. It's a sad reminder. And I was I was cremated. And full of Asher. He was 45.

Oh my God. I want to record that song. Well, don't worry. The next episode of Flash, the Sandler will be, somebody's got to scatter the remains. That's what will really happen, actually. That's what will really,

that's what will really happen. It'll be the wake. flat share. It'll be, someone's right. So it'll be just, Ben! What is it,

Mathieu? Someone's got to scatter Tom's remains. Well, it can only be me. Yeah, well, it can only be me. Oh. Yeah.

Well, I guess that's the end of. Flatshire slam down. The saddest, the saddest episode, of course, it'll be Tom, Ben. And then just a distant. Go on. Go ahead.

Brim full of ash around the 45. Whoa, Clarkie, looking sharp, man. You're heading out. You've got a party to go to? Must be a special occasion. So Clarkie's now wearing the outfit that he wore to a funeral. Disrespectful? Is it?

I don't know. No, not disrespectful. Was he a dance platform? Big fella Robin Hood? It was. Yeah, it's not, no, I think it's, is it disrespectful? It's basically the same outfit you're wearing to do a podcast. You haven't changed all that much, actually.

A little, a green kind of, it's a Fred Perry style top and, like you said, black jeans and and desert boots. Desert boots. Desert boots. Desert boots. scuffed to with an inch of their life. If you want to check out Clarkie's outfit, get along to YouTube and see the end of the episode.

Yeah, why not? Yeah, there he is. Clarkie, give us, show the boots at the camera. Let's say, let's go over there. Look at those guys. That is respect right there. Yeah. That's. Crucially, it's what he would have wanted.

So, yeah, don't forget to. If you're not already watching the episodes on YouTube. Soon or was it, Indiana Jones? Crushed by a boulder. Shouldn't have gone back for that hat. I was always going to catch up with him one day. So, yeah, do get along to YouTube. Pappy's Flash Show on YouTube, or, of course, you can see us on TikTok or on Instagram.

But YouTube is where you can see the full episodes if you're not already watching the full episodes over there. We would love to see you there. We would love to see you there. And of course, we've got a Flatchair Slamdown coming up. So pappiescom.com forward slash live to see us live on stage at Flatchair Slamdown. Great. Well, tonight's episode is produced to Olivia Swash. Hello.

Cheers, everyone. Bye. Greetings. Keep working fly.