Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare Ep 1629: Jessica Fostekew "legend of the lime bike"

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Is it ok to wee in the pool? When do you become a “cyclist”? What are the sexual implications of driverless cars? The amazing Jessica Fostekew pops into the flat and it gets a bit robotic and cheeky. Jessica Fostekew https://www.instagram.com/jessicafostekew/?hl=en https://www.tiktok.com/discover/jessica-fostekew Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/ https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Connor Hayles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Wayfair, every style, every home. Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew, and welcome to a very exciting guest episode of Pappy's flat show. Yes, Fuster Q, came by and sat on our sofa and made merry with the lads. Yes, she's such a little. Fantastic posture, very, very funny person. We had a great time chatting to Jess.

As always, we talked about technology, the rise of technology. I thought you were going to say, as always, they had a terrible time chat to us. Oh, we had a great time chatting to Jess, but I don't think it was. Always an ordeal, sadly for our guests. Yeah, we talked about the rise of technology. We found out where Jess is really from. Yeah. Yeah, a secret that you may not know about where Jess is really from.

And we discuss whether it's okay to swim and we. So, watch this and we'll see you on the other side. Do you feel like you have good posture? I think it's okay. I've got a funny old walk and run. I think I sit relatively normally. I think... Why did you do the weirdest sit of any...

I think I sit really normally. Then you push your shoulder back and push your chin down. I'm trying to do really perfectionistic sitting. Because you're a cyclist as well, aren't you? No? Did you not last time I saw you have a cycle helmet with you? Oh yeah. I do cycle, but I don't identify as a cyclist.

I do think that's a difference between being a driver and a motorist and I am not a cyclist. I agree with that. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. You're not going out on the weekend and saying, well, I'm so sorry I can't do any parenting. I've got to go and do the three people. challenge on my bike. Pop it on the spandex. No, I like a lime bike. Right. And I've got a bit of a bonus for them.

I find them all around the world and take pictures. I love it. Do you? I think they're so. I'm so sad. I think they're actually really cool. So they exist in other parts of the... You've got them in Barcelona if you want.

No, thank you. You can get a lime in Barcelona. Birmingham? Yeah, you can get a lime. Oh, I feel like that would be a... That would be a good thing. Like, pick one up in London and drive it to... No, because it stops him.

It stops in certain places, doesn't it? Oh, I learnt that the hard way. Because it just stops, isn't it? She was trying to get from Birmingham to pass the life. Trying to get from B to B. Got as far as Derby. But it does just stop, doesn't it? It just like it slams the brakes on you.

Recently, I got it to the O2. I got one to the O2 in Greenwich. And it took me, my maps took me a really beautiful route along the river. And I was like, I was having kind of quite a euphoric morning. if I'm on is thinking, God, there's bits of London I didn't know existed. There was like this sort of arse end of Greenwich

all these cobbled streets and ancient pubs. I was like, yeah, yeah, that was a vibration. Yeah, it was a bit of that. But I was, yeah, the cobbles. My posture, my posture. Oh, remember the posture.

And then it tried to take me past what was now a building site and I couldn't get to it. And the maps panicked and effectively tried to take me through is blackwood tunnel. Thank God the line bike very much seized. Seized at the thought of that.

It was rabbit in the headlights. Oh my God. Yeah. And I'm a map follower. You know, if someone said, no, no,

go that way. Even if it's a robot telling me to go that way, I'll go, let's give it a go. Yeah. Daddy says, go down there.

But sometimes it works. Sometimes you're like, this did get me here faster, but other times it is just driving you through an open field. I get it wrong every single time. Without doubt, if the maps like go this way

and I'm like, nah but I'll believe the map wrong choice and you're like then trust yourself and then I'll trust myself nah

that's wrong I always have Clark in the passages whatever he says I do the opposite we are in a river right now no no it's still right what was the gig we went to you went ahead

Clarkie drove me and he took me on a ferry oh yeah fucking up I knew there was a mistake when we were queuing for a ferry I'm like Clarkie are you 100% sure This is the route to the gig.

I literally thought of that the other day and I was like, there's a ferry isn't there. There is a way across. And I was like, have I imagined that? I clearly haven't. No, you took us on a ferry car. We were late for the gig. But what a gig.

But what a journey. And also so tough for Tom because he's at the gig. I'm at the gig. I'm at the gig. I'm sure they'll be here soon. I mean, famously, you don't have to go to ferries across the Thames.

They've got so many bridges. A lot of bridges going on. A few tunnels. A couple of tunnels. One boat. Oh dear. Wowie. Wowie is right.

Sorry about that, guys. But you know, you're not a Londoner. I'm not. No, I'm not. Still would you say you're not. It's a bit like cyclist and, you know, riding a bike occasionally. Are you a Londoner now? No, I don't think so.

Or now? Well, he certainly doesn't feel like one after someone who was born down here just said that to him. Yeah, yeah, you're not one. Really harsh was going on there. I didn't mean it in that sense. I was asking him. You know, like the subway takes guy about New York where everyone's like, Are you a New Yorker or not?

It's like this poor guy's lived in London more than he's lived anywhere else. By the way, the impression you're doing there is of J-Lo. It was J-Lo who said that. Are you a non-Yorker or not? It said phenomenal Jailo impersonation. Well done to both of you, actually. Thanks very much. Jess, were you born in London?

No. Should we guess where she was born? Yeah. It's time to play Jess, guess. You won't have any clues from my accent. Barcelona? I don't think. No.

I'm saying, well, let's play North or South. well. The only clue, oh, here we go. Let's play north, south, east, west. Well, is, is it England?

Yeah. It is England, okay. No, hang on. So you can say yes. The game is you can say yes, north, south, east, west. Oh, now it's like,

it's quite exposing on the geography front. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's true. So, so if we were to say, like, yeah,

it's quite exposed to you. Why don't you just say yes and no questions? Because then we're going to get closer, aren't we? Okay. So it's like if I started with Birmingham, you would say north or south of Birmingham. I can do that north.

North of Birmingham. Well, there's our first twist in the tail. Well, let's go. No one was expecting that. Let's go further up the country. What about Sheffield? Yeah. Is that what you were? Oh my God. There we go. There we go. It's a gift,

it's a gift. Hold Matnav over there. Did you know that? Maybe I did now I have gotten embarrassingly accurate Wikipedia page I don't do any research for this I know you too well to be

My only research is last time I saw you were carrying a bike helmet That's great That's pretty much it Yeah And you were in Sheffield It did say born in Sheffield on it It's born in Sheffield but I do think I've lived in London longer than I've lived anywhere else

So I've just I don't know if it's this is okay I just assume I am in London Yeah I think you are If someone says where are you from do you say Dorset which actually I'm just introducing to the list now

but I only lived in Sheffield for two weeks so I do not get a claim on Shephall. Hang on, hang on. Two weeks in Sheffield. Yeah, it was a panic. The parents panicked. They absolutely shat themselves and moved in with their own parents. Oh, right.

So born in Sheffield? I don't think you can say you're from Sheffield. No. You just did. You asked me where I was born. That's a very specific question. That's a good point. All right, okay.

Yeah. Any other answer would have been natural life. How dare you actually don't turn on our guest by the way. We're going to have to revisit the game, aren't we? I don't think so. No, because it's rather not.

Is the game where you from instead? Oh, well, I've just told you, Dorset. No, no. Let's start again. I'm really in trouble already, though. We're in Dorset, West, West, East, how many places in Dorset do you know? Is it because you're wearing an England shirt?

Is that why you're so sort of fascinated by where people come from? Are you wearing that? Because you've got more than one England shirt, so you've always got one ready for a game day. It's because for these records, we do more than one in a day. So we have to bring a variety of tops. And this is reversible.

Great. I'm on the second. So there stinks on the outside now. I'm on the second iteration of it. They did too many. There stinks on the outside now. They did a reversible England shirt in 2003. That's such a 2003 thing to do.

Is that the surrounding? the same time where comic relief did those t-shirts where when you sweat the t-shirt changes color. Like a global hyper-color t-shirts. So you basically have these like a white t-shirt

that went like all red around the pants and under the tits. Just look like you just run a marathon. You're bleeding out your nipples. It was basically like... God, it was rank. What a rank. You know the rumor that they put dye

in the swimming pool so they can tell if you've pissed yourself? It was like that in clothing form. Yeah, yeah. Did you get the trousers as well? Terrible. Terrible idea. Oh, God.

Global hyperpice. No one would have known otherwise. That wasn't ever real, was it, the die that shows that you've pissed yourself in the swimming pool? I don't think so. You should know this because you've pissed in swimming pool. And it's not. Look at your little guilty eyes. No.

You could have styled that out with a... I haven't. I actually think it's okay to. also. Do you know what? I'm actually with Tom. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm with Tom. Because sometimes if you're... Oh, God! Oh, God! I was going to say like, right, welcome to the... Welcome to Pappy's Piss Pod. So, Jess, you're a swimmer.

I'm so sorry. I piss in the sea. Yeah. And in a lake and in a river. But, you know, the sea's got no chlorine in it. to sort of negate the effects of the piss. They're putting glory in because they know people are pissing in it. This is the dance.

I do, I do also think there maybe is an upper limit to that, surely. What, shit. Don't tell me any of you think it's okay to have a plop in there. Get one of plop and a pool, what you are these don't plop in the pool. I wouldn't do it in a river. This is like the start. A plop or a wee? It's like those piracy videos.

No, you've got a wee. a river. You wouldn't we in a river? No, sea is fine because I think the salt is I think there's going to be another element that negates it. Fresh water, I'm not peeing in it. There's definitely a few other elements in the river base. That's true, yeah.

I respect that about you. Yeah. You've got to have principles. You've got to have boundaries. I think you've misunderstood the ecosystem. I'm happy to ween a river from the bank. Waving to the other people. Off the ferry crossing the

We're going to be late for the gig. I think a way to make you feel okay about it about the swimming baths is if you imagine putting all of that water into a glass. Why is this? Why is this going to make you feel better? And you drink it? How big is that glass?

Enormous. We in that glass. You're talking about... Yes, please. It's like a tumbler. You're putting a tumbler. Like that's a very weak squash. I don't know why you needed to change the receptacle to make us real like a

I think having made me envisage something you drink from is actually backfired horribly for you. Yeah. And make it into a squash. Just imagine a very big mouth. Right? You've got you've got to stop two things. If it's a squash, you're not even tasting the orange. Do you know what I mean?

Just a little hint, a little soups. Are you telling me to sort of think of it as electrolytes? I'm telling you to stop drinking, swimming back from water. Yeah, finally. I'm not a swimmer. I'm more of a drinker. It's just turning up the straw. Oh dear.

Oh, dear. Oh, boy. What is a water flume, if not a big straw? Yeah, no, I got told off for telling my daughter that it was okay to win the swimming poor base list. by a life cart. My wife was like, no,

don't say it's okay. And I was like, that's when I realized there was a different. I do you think, I can imagine as a parent, if you're in the swimming pool and it's like,

I need to get out to go and do a wee and then come back to the pool, you're like, come on. Exactly. What age do you start making them get out then? And there's nothing, and you do have to get out for a poo,

but is there anything worse than? Thank you, Tom, thank you, but I will say this, imagine it's a giant class. How'd you feel not? No, no. How'd you feel like that? Now imagine my shit in it.

I will say it's one of the worst poos. Pooing when you have to get out the swimming bath to do a poo. Appeal your trunk. You're wet, you're cold. Then you're having to wipe your wet bottom. And then get back into wet trunks that are now cold. Yeah. It's an awful time.

Maybe. Maybe if you need to. Poo, end a session. Yeah. End your life. Just drown. If you're in the Tumass and you need to poo, just drown yourself. And do you feel about their bodies in the pool?

Imagine them in a class. It's like a Davian Hurst. I was trying to make you feel okay about the scale. I get to understand what you were going for. But you just did a very bad job. That's all we're saying. That's fair. That's fair to say.

Your intention was pure. Your water was not. Okay. It would have worked better if you'd scaled up rather than down. Do you see what, if you'd said, imagine the whole of the ocean. And just one sort of droplet. And a whale. A teat.

Teet. Is it teet? I think it was it a teet pepette. Yeah, but it sounds so gross. I don't know why he said it. And why don't you say it with a French accent as well? It's too late to try and sound sexy. Oh, that's a shame.

That is a shame, isn't it? It is a shame. I've never line bikes, you know. Really? Does it do it for you? Yeah. People are always peddling. It's very, very hard to go back.

Yeah, you can't be completely still. Oh, right. You can't just remain motionless. You've got to give it something. It's not an Uber. You've got to meet it halfway. You have to steer as well. I don't know about this.

Don't know about all this. Because I'm trying to steer it down the Blackwall tunnel. It's not letting me. I think in. theory they're a little bit frightening actually have you ever ridden an electric bike at all? No. So when you get on it's like a you get a woof. Whoa. Yeah.

And you know you're really spent when it feels hard though, cycle of the line bike. It really does 95% of the actual effort. What's your top speed? What are we talking about? It doesn't let you know that. It's not like a spin class. The new ones, which don't look anywhere near as cool, but are much safer apparently, give you your miles per hour on them. Right, okay. Yeah, so I think it's about,

you know, generally sitting about 15, 17. That's a fair list. 70. You back on the dual carriage right again. 15 to 17. 15 to 7th. When you're on the flat.

It sound like a stepdad. Yeah, it does, it does appeal to me. I mean, I like, I like, it's very freeing cycling around.

Yeah. I have a bike, but I basically, I never leave it anywhere that where it might get nicked. that's my worry but with line bikes and you can leave him anywhere right you don't have to leave him in the depends on the area

yeah there are some places now where in central london now you've got to take it to a special zone so you have to be going from one zone to another there's zones everywhere but like you can't just leave it outside wherever you're going you've got to like soho's a ballache yeah yeah you've got to get into soho square which is now pretty much blanket parked lime really yeah because it's the only place around there you can leave one where do you stand on driverless cars

mixed feelings because they're incoming aren't they yeah have you been a while I saw one the other day I saw one the other day have you been a one anymore they're coming about yeah and it feels like they shouldn't right I don't like it I'm gonna get love more texting done if anything I'll get less done to be honest I managed to do so much during a journey. Do you, where do you sit in a driverless car?

Are you sat in the driver's seat? I don't know because I haven't had a go. When you saw this driverless car? I don't think you're sat in the driver's car. Because if you saw someone sat in the driver's seat, you wouldn't know as a driverless car, unless they were drinking a beer and lying backwards. I think that goes on its own and you sit in the back.

I don't know why we need them. I don't know why we need them. I'll say it twice. It's a point. The bears repeating. Tom doesn't know why we need them. I mean, it definitely, if you're doing a big journey, oh, I'd be nice to pop in the back.

Have a little lie down. Shut your eyes. Have a relax. I know. How relaxed would you be, though? Would you start an end of a journey in a car is very convenient? What about a train? Yeah, but that's the start and end of the journey.

That's what I'm talking about. You get out of your house, you get into a car with your bag. Yeah, but there's no W.H. Smith outside of my house. I know, but can't drop into the pool. and then get into the car. Yeah, but then, but get, like for us,

like getting into town, getting to the train station that's actually going to take you to the place is a whole other journey in itself. You live three minutes from the train station. What? What's why then? I'm getting a different train

to then the train that you're taking. That's not a bad thing. I'd say so. Why? Because if I've got like lots of stuff I'm in, it's heavy. To be fair, we do make Clarkie carry all of the equipment.

Clark is he do it at a special case. we make Carrey Carly carry all of the equipment for our podcast recordings and he gets it on the ferry across the river off the ferry onto the train why are you going through duty free when you're getting in central London

all the water in the Thames is a big glass I was like I need something to fill it I will say this my train journey of the night the heating had broken it was pumping extreme cold air into the train that's what you want to do it on.

On a hot day, like, you know, like, no. You want extreme hot air? No. You want somewhere in between.

Yeah, you're right, yeah. Everyone's dressed for a hot day. Right. People are passing around cardigans.

It was like, there was like a real spirit of like, are we going to survive this journey? Everyone was cold. I have to keep going into the bits by the toilet to warm up.

Oh God. Well, exactly. I had my anorac on. Trembling. Nipples like diamonds But when trains are good They're very good

Basically is what I'm saying Yeah Yeah Once you get into the meat Of a train journey Actually once you're on The buffet car It's great

Get your laptop out You can do a bit of work Watch film I suppose if you think of it Yeah If you're thinking of driverless cars Like trains Yeah

But it's right outside your door And then it's right up To where you go next I'm worried it's for the same reason why I don't actually want us to ever be able to teleport because I think our bodies will just atrophy if there's nothing for our bodies to ever have to do. I think that driverless cars feel like the beginning of the end for our minds. But if we do need to draw the line somewhere as to how much we're going to have done for us by technology. That is true.

We've already like lost all of our memory because we just put that all in. Yeah, absolutely. You know, no one knows any phone numbers anymore. I can't remember losing my memory. Oh, God. I considered it. Stop doing it. Yeah.

Now you regret it. I do. With the reception that got. Regress of that. Regret what? Oh, no. The thing I fear is that you get into it and you say, oh, take me to this place. And they go, you're not going to that place.

And the doors are locked. and you go into a different place. Robot. Robot prison. Robot sex prison. You don't make it worse than it already is. I think robot prison's pretty bad. What's a robot sex prison time?

It's where the robots fuck you for seven years. Oh no. To power the grid. They're powering it with humps. Yeah. Like the Matrix, but with fucking. Yeah. They fuck you till you jeez and then

it powers the system. I don't know how powerful your jeers it is, Tom, to power the system. Well, there's like, loads of me. So you're going to be, you're going to be, not loads of versions of you mean, you're going to be like, not loads of

jizz. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be like the pre-cogs in, pre-cogs. I didn't think you were going to say cogs. Tiny bit of pre-cog. You know the pre-cogs in a minority report.

You know the precogs in a minority report. Heat reflecting trousers for this. Everyone can see that little patch of pre-cog. It starts with driverless cars. It ends with robot sex prisons. That's what we're saying. Whereas on a train, you just get to enjoy the view

and have a can of slider. Sure, it might be a bit cold. Yeah. Is that what you were saying when the heating was broken? People were handing around cardigans going, well, it could be worse.

We could be being fucked for seven years by a robot. No, I gave you a cardigan, didn't they? Oh, everyone was, everyone went into the middle bits just to warm up. Yeah, Tom, that's why they went into the middle. little bit. I think if he was alone talking about a robot sex

prison on a train, it would look worse if he was saying that in Akadi. Yeah. The only guy's sweating through a Cardi. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. How do you stand on driverless cars are you? No, I'm scared to them. I don't think I would, you know, I fight, I mean, I've, I always haven't been on a line bike. I find them too scary. What's wrong

with having a driver? Well, I will, I'll say one thing. I've been in two taxis in the last sort of 48 hours. Both of them have... I've done it. I've done it all. Yeah, yeah. But both taxis have gone, I reckon

this is a kind of guy that I could chat about my bigoted beliefs to. So you're not getting that with the, you know, you're not getting that with the driverless car. I would if it was grok. It's true. It would be worse. It would be worse. It would be the ultimate racist taxi driver. That's true. If it was a grok taxi, it's fucking your

mind. Yeah. It's fucking my mind. And if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, the, yeah, the, the, like you're seeing to the woke, um, uh, get, uh, get sent to the, sex, sex robot, um, uh, uh, get sent to the, to the, uh, to the, uh, I think we need to start. Is this okay to say? Oh, okay. Morris. Yes. Now I want to hear it. This is what we look forward to. Well, it's like, when, like, when, like, like, We should have had, we should have a vote on driverless cars before people start making them. Because suddenly they're going to be here and there's a light, I don't think, I don't think a lot of people want them. Yeah. And then they'll be here and then we'll have them. And like with AI, it's like it's going to be here and then we'll have them.

People might not want them. Should there be a, and I hate to say referendum. But it needs to be, it needs to be international, right, doesn't it? It needs to be an international referendum. Like, that's going to be hard to organise, isn't it? Well, we don't have to do an international one. Absolutely not. Unless they can get on and off a ferry.

Which they can, crucially. They can drive onto a ferry and coming over here. Floating over here. Mowing down our woke people. The line bikes got to Barcelona. That's true. Where was the referendum on line bikes? You can go city to city if you wanted to.

It doesn't have to be international. London could vote on. whether they want driverless cars. Sheffield could vote on whether they want driving cars. I don't trust London. Dorset could vote. Dorset would say no. Exactly. Dorset doesn't even want cars.

Dorset said no to cars. Yeah, Dorsey just wants horses. Driverless horses. That's just a wild horse. That's just a horse. Yeah. Yeah. That's just a horse. I think so.

How are you voting in the big referendum on drive? I mean, it's too late now. but you know it feels like that's the thing with a lot of tech isn't it why are they not consulting us about this yeah they're not basing it on people's like wants or needs anymore and i felt like that used to be what it was it was like how can we sell this to people and it's like how can we force this onto people i think it's like the ultimate britishness as well that you hear lots of people saying well it'll be safer than us doing it i'm a terrible driver how much do you need to loathe yourself as a human You should see me parking.

I'm awful. I can't parallel park for shit. I have heard it will be safer. All right. It's going to hand it over to an AI mist. It's just, that's how much you trust your own intellectual prowess. There's also going to be a lot.

Your confidence is it. That's your self-esteem, that is. But also a lot of like, I can have a drink. There'll be a lot of that. That's also very British. It is cheap for that. That's also very, and by, ah, they mean 12.

Yeah, exactly. I can get absolutely fucked. But then that's the train. Oh, God. That's a lot. going to be, that's the train, exactly. That's the train. And the driverless car isn't going, because the classic on it,

like on a big night out would be, you hide the most drunk person until the last minute, because you know when it would pull up and it would see someone sat down on the pavement, and the driver would go, carry on driving. We're not having that, you're not getting, you're not getting the taxi. Driverless car's not complaining about that. They didn't let Clark on a ferry once.

Too drunk for the ferry. And he was driving. I'm worried that people would be even less respectful to the, like, people are going to really do Weeby's Pooh-Poo 6 in those aren't they? Because there's no one to watch them to let them not

But if you just think of the driverless car as like a glass Then actually it's not so bad If you open the door and it just spills out Like the lifting the shining If I'm out with my kids And they need a shit I order a driverless taxi now

It's actually more convenient Than finding than a toilet Porto let's Oh god But yeah they're going to be any any public space basically gets just destroyed doesn't it you know your phone boxes so private as well public toilets you're basically no one driverless car sex is going to be happening oh yeah is there is there a camera on you presumably there's something

I'm going to be put in a driverless car for seven years and just fucked Tom are you are you desperate to be fucked by a robot it sounds like only for seven years only for the length of just get out of your system didn't it you have seven wild years and then you're back

without meaning to sound too horny too late too late Tom we should have had a referendum on this at the start of the episode but it's too late for that now and we wouldn't have had to have done an international one

we could have done it individual yeah you're in centre of town you're at a bar you meet up with someone there's chemistry Yeah. You're not going back to theirs.

They live out in, I know, Dulwich. I know. Have you got, it sounds like you've got a person in mine to talk. They're from Dorset. For instance.

Their addresses. Okay. So you've met somebody and you're saying, You can't go back to theirs. And you don't want to hire a hotel. Their housemates in. Yeah. Or their partner's in.

Yeah. It's a saucy hookup. Well. You don't want to take them back to yours. You live with your parents. I don't look up sorts in a way. You order a driverless car. Yeah.

You say three times around the block, Monsieur, in you get, bish-bush-bush, and they're like, three. The block is really small, man. Sorry, yeah, once round. You'll be doing it so quickly you can cancel the order and not be charged.

On sort of person we all win, they're like, why are you fucking the robot? You promised me seven years of sets. Seven seconds. On a line bike with some of the ways you can hire it, you get the first ten minutes free actually. If they do the same thing with driverless cars. Yes.

I'm sure you can knock one out in that. Like they used to show you on the naughty channels, they would show you a little preview. Do you remember the little preview before the screen got all that? No, you don't remember that time. It doesn't remember that, okay. Back in the day, they'll show you a little preview for a few seconds, and then it would get all sort of blurry.

Right. So you could get a little preview, a little sexy preview. You've got a little fuck window on every driverless car. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to happen a lot, I predict. Yeah. Oh, God.

A lot of driverless. And also, well, no, that's a grim thing to say. I haven't stopped you before. Well, like when you finish my piece of equipment at the gym. Yeah. You need to tell. Oh, you should have to, yeah, leave no trace. Like when you're in the countryside.

Love the farm, leave no trace. Yeah. So if someone drunk's getting. getting into a car, shitting and pooing. Yeah. Being sick. Yeah.

And then the driverless car goes to its next job. Who's cleaning that up? You know what I mean? We do know what you mean, yeah. And that's the problem. That is what we're talking about. The problem of the driverless car is they're not also self-cleaning.

What you really want is for them to be like, kind of after you get out, crucially, not while you're still in, crop dusted with some sort of disinfectors. Just flame, flame to play. Or just like some kind of.

kind of human accountability somewhere like the knowledge that someone's watched i think it changes behavior completely so someone's watching even like if they were brightly lit or something tom's found a new job sitting there in front of a banker cameras sound a robot i wonder if like making it always daylight in there might do it i used to do i used to in another life a long time ago read the traffic on the radio and i'd have to go into farringdon for it is when fabric was still there, the massive nightclub. And in the winter, when it was dark, basically people would just be fucking in the street on their way out

as I was on my way in. And people would be like, Thomas asking if that job's still available. Right, for Jess, for the traffic? Well, there's a lot of fucking on the Black Friars Road. It was feral. It was like a dystopian for that hour of people kicking out, like between 5 and 6 a.m.

And then in the summer, where that felt like in the middle of the day, likewise, people were far more restrained. Hand jobs. Peck on the hand. Just packing, yeah. Write a letter to your parents

telling you my intentions. To court. Caught one another's. Have you read the shutter? Their intentions are not real. If you couldn't move for chaperones, could you outside of fabric? In the summer months,

he'd be chaperoned down the street. A lot of people kissing a gloved hand, yeah. A lot of that. Self-driven horse and carts. Yeah. I'm on the cusp of buying a robotic hoover. Oh, after everything you've said. I know.

Does that make me... Horny? Does that make me horny? Why is there a tildo on that hoover? It's got a seven-year warranty. Very specific question. No, no, no. You go off.

I've just got a few things to do around the house. Well, one thing I'm going to do around the house. Tom, there's a taper. You can just see the top of his head moving around his window. He seems happy. Is he waving us? He's powering the grid, though, on the whole street.

There's no complaints there. A lucky bills have come down since he put on robotic over. It's okay to piss in the pool. It's not okay to jizz in the room bar. If anything, these flaws are worse than when we started. There's a snail trail around that. Oh, dear. I like the idea.

I really would enjoy the trip that you and Jane have to take back to Currys. There's something wrong with this. Just a really guilty face. Yeah. Tom, Tom, Tom, just trying to make eye contact. I'm just up to shake his head. Please, mate. Don't worry about the refraises.

It's taken a lot of stress. You're getting a hoovery, yeah, you want. Yeah, lovely. I feel like we can't really go on after that. No, no. Weirdly, that is the second episode we've talked about Tom fucking hoover today. Oh shit, it is.

Already just in one day. It's a slightly different context. But yeah, what we've established is Tom is in a... Tom is really horny around. He's ovulating, he's ovulating. You got anything to plug Jess? No. I haven't. I've just finished at all.

People can join my mailing list. Oh, yes, please. Yeah. And then I can tell them my secrets. Have you got a substack? No, I'm going to start that, though. I'm waiting. When I do, I'll tell you I've done it on the mailing list.

I'll join the mailing list. Every, I'd say it about once a day. I'd go, God, that'd be write that for substack. I have an idea and go, I wouldn't say that to their face, but I would write a substar. I think that. You're going to be shit posting. Don't start a substack immediately after this, please.

No, not this point. Give it a few months until you've forgotten. or what we did today. Jess is in full support of driverless podcasts. This would be much better if there weren't the three guys talking to me. Just a nasty sofa when I arrived. Thank God. Thanks, Jess.

It's been a pleasure. Hey, thanks for having me. My tummy hurts from laughing. Oh. And sitting so nicely. Tommy hurts from my posture. Oh, there you go. What a treat.

What a joy. It was a joy. It was a real joy. And if you want to support us in making this podcast and having lovely guests on and having a lovely time, then please do get along to patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share for four pounds a month. You can support your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave.

So please do come along. Bung us some cash. You get a bonus episode every week. You get discount tickets to our live shows. And you get episodes like this one, not only early, but also add free. That's absolutely right. We're also on all the socials.

TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, find us there, watch the clips, watch the full episodes on YouTube, share the clips because, Tom, the clips of the content. The clips of the content these days. They really are.

And it does pain us to say it. Anything else? You want to add, Clarkie? No, be nice to each other. Oh, and... Line bikes? Oh, yeah. Watch out for line bikes.

Today's episode was produced by the loud drum. Drinking hard-living Connor. Oy-oy. Cheers, everyone. Bye. Bye. Hey, y'all.

It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca.

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