Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare ep 1630: (Belated) World Cup Fever!

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

What the best goal celebration of all time? Is praying cool? What’s God’s secret ingredient for a chilli con carne? Pappy's - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/ https://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshare Support us on Patreon - www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare Find tickets to all our live shows here - https://pappyscomedy.com/live Produced by Connor Hayles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom I'm Ben

and I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare. That's right, today we are talking about the World Cup It's never too late to talk about the World Cup In our defence

The World Cup is currently happening while we're recording this But this will probably go out in about four months to be in those We'll find out We also discuss the power of prayer And some vintage jokes

Yes! Oh yeah. If you like an old joke Well, of course you do, you'll listen to this If you like old jokes, then we've got even more of them in this episode. So stick around for that. Absolutely. And if you like what we do, then hop along to Patreon and support your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave.

That's at patreon.com forward slash pappies Flatshare. We've also got lots of socials that you can support us on, which Clarkie will tell you about right now. Yes, come and join us on TikTok or on Instagram or even on YouTube. Even on YouTube. Well, I was thinking of YouTube reels, but we're also. just full episodes on YouTube as well. So come and join us in all these places, please, please. I didn't have this.

You're real. Okay, well, enjoy the episode. And we'll see you on the other side for more shits and giggles. There is a World Cup on. Yes. When we're recording this. Yes. Don't panic.

Don't panic. We're not a topical show. That's why you're wearing the England top. Not necessarily. Oh, okay. Assume nothing. We assume nothing here, yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what it's made me think of the World Cup? What's that? It's how big I am into the... I think I'm going to end it out. They're all really slim. They are. They're athletes almost, aren't they? How big I am into... It is the problem with football shirts now.

Well, go on. Well, you buy, like, back in the day, buy yourself a football shirt, loads of room. Now they're tight... Parking out. That can't be... They're meant... Is that true? I mean...

You can't... You're telling me you can't get like an XXL football. I'm telling you an XL from 98 is now an L stroke M. Yeah. And if I had my 98 foot foot, literally the evidence is at home. This is 2002 and I cannot wear my 98 one. And it's the same. It's XL.

The 98 one is obscene. So it's almost the opposite of shrinkflation. Yeah. shrink wrapped. It's how I look at my any of the sports stops I buy. I think it changes from year to year basically because 98, everything was quite tight fitting. 2002, everyone went fucking bananas like it was a bag of year. If you look at footage and 1990, if you look at 1990, like they're billowing down the wing.

Yeah. But now they're basically, it's built like it's like a second skin. And you go, that's great for a footballer. That's not good for a fan. That's not good for me. I hate my current skin. Why are you giving me a second one? Yeah.

One of the worst things about me is my skin. Why does this have more blemishes on? But the good, the positive I've taken from the World Cup is the aesthetic of praying. It's fucking cool. So it's like, particularly a lot of the African nations, it's rare an African player doesn't score and immediately start praying as he's celebrated. Yeah. And it's like, it's like, but it's both hands down. I'll hold your microphone for it.

for you. It's like both hands down and it's like that. It's like, or even when you're substituted or pre-kickoff. And it's good, man. Pre-preciated. Please get me off this bitch. Like big visual praying.

Yeah. It's cool. Particularly if you've got a bit of, you know, a bit of crossing. Well, that's my getting on the plane routine. That's true.

When you get on. For the aesthetic of it. You get on the, he's a good aesthetic. You're like the poet to be on so much of us. Yeah. You're like the holiday together anymore. Unless we're driving.

He's okay. Who's that? Yeah, weirdly, you don't do it we're driving. Which you should really pray

before you get in a car before we say what he doesn't do explain what it is by the way, Clarkie, come on man. For people who don't know

the inside of your brain why don't we for the listener explain what it is that you do? Before I go to fly I do a cross and I touch the floor.

You sign on a cross I think I kiss my hand and touch the floor. You kiss the floor, yeah. It's like, I like the floor. Yeah. Look, I know.

But it, I like. Conner is about to walk out on this. I'm not a religious man. Yeah. But you love praying. I do like the floor.

I'm not a religious man, but praying is cool and can we all kiss the floor? Yeah, exactly. So the first time I ever flew, I did it. And I didn't die. And I was like, well, then I'm going to keep that. Yeah. If you had died, no more kissing that floor. Well, exactly.

I'd made that way. You live under the floor. Yeah, exactly. If it had gone badly. Is there anything else, though, you did that flight. Particular pair of pants. Three wanks as well. And so that's become increasing.

be problematic. That's the thing I get really upset about. In the toilet, mine, he doesn't kiss the floor after that, I'll tell you that much.

No, but that was the big one. It was like, oh, I'm flying, I've never flying before. What will I do? You know,

I was 17 or whatever. Yeah, but you're not now. I know. I think it's nice. I think it's good. And also, the thing about prayer is,

it's a little bit for the man upstairs, it's a little bit for you, isn't it? If it's comforting you, then it's a good thing to do, right? I don't think I wouldn't, like, I wouldn't be freaked out if I saw somebody. I mean, I've been on a plane with you. I wouldn't be freaked out if I saw somebody doing what you do,

making the side of the cross and touching the ground. And then after three ways. That would be freaked out by that. Yeah, I know I'd ask for the ILC, but actually, I'm happy a few rows back. Also, Tom, that doesn't classify you for the mile high club. I think, I think it would, I think it might make other people feel a bit nervous. That's my, that's my concern. now as an older man.

Like, when I was young, I didn't really think about that. I don't think anyone's seeing you and thinking that you're about to perform a sort of act of terrorism. No, no, but I think if you see someone do that and then kiss the floor, you'll be like, oh, he's worried. And then it's like, should I be worried? Oh, actually, this is mad. What are we doing?

He's not doing. This is, we're going to be fucking pinging above the air, aren't we? Oh, God. My pre-flight ritual is doing the final destination. and I just start screaming. You start screaming, yeah. Your actual pre-float ritual is muttering fucking hell under your breath when you see me do my thing.

It is actually, yeah. What are you doing? Fucking hell. Aside from the, aside from obviously when you're on the football pitch or when you're about to get on a plane, is prayer a part of your day-to-day life? Do you pray?

No. Like, because you're saying, the end of episode. You're saying praying is cool, I was just thinking, is it something that you... The aesthetic of prayer is cool is what I said. Oh, but the actuality, not cool. Well, the actuality bit's odd, isn't it? If you don't believe in God.

If you believe in God, then it's totally not odd. Yeah. But you do pray on a plane. And who are you praying to in that? I don't pray on a plane. You pray off a plane. Just off a plane. I don't pray.

That is not a prayer. Like, that's the thing. It is a physical, it's a physical act of kissing the ground that's attached to crossing itself. At no point. That's pretty prairie. It's not a... But it's not a prayer. I'm not praying.

Like, I'm not saying it to anyone. I'm not going, keep me safe on this flight. Oh, that's interesting. I'm literally doing the physical act crossing myself and then I'm kissing the floor.

Right? Yeah. It's don't wind me up now. So you're not praying. You're not thinking, God please protect me. No, no,

because I believe in God. Ah. That makes sense. So who, so when you're crossing, when you're typically, that's father, son and the holy ghosts.

That's when you make the cross. Not for me, though. Who are your three? When you're... It's head shoulders, knees and toes. What are you doing? It's Matthew Ben and Tom. It's 10 pence, 10 pence.

Do you remember that joke? I love 10 pence, 10 pens. The old one pen, 17. Could you just, for old time sake, tell us the 10 pence, 10 pence, 50 pence, joke? Come on. It was a classic playing. It was a classic playing. It was.

We must have told this before on this one. Go on. He's got on the on one. Has it ever stopped us before? Do you know what? Yeah, what we think about that joke is it was a joke about sex. Told by people... Being told by people who didn't even really know what sex was, let alone.

Like, it's not even like I haven't had it. Yeah. I do not know what goes on in that bedroom. Yeah. I'm eight. Yeah. I've got no concept. I reckon, realistically, we're telling this joke at 13, I think, is kind of what I think about.

And I don't really think I had a clue. Oh, I did. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I had no clue.

33 was first time I had sex. It was a guy who goes to someone for sexual advice. And he says, I don't really know how to. Probably a doctor's going out. He says, Doc, I don't know how to please my lady in bed. I need some sexual. Sexual tips. And he says, this really is an NHS-11-1-1.

I don't know. It doesn't feel like a doctor-doctor now that you bring it up. I thought it was his dad. I thought it was his dad. Or his uncle or like, I thought it was mate down the night. the purbo I thought it was. Maybe he was like, none of us. And he said,

what you do, he said, he said, I'm going to, I've got a regime for you to practice to get good at sex. So start off by putting 10 pence on your shoulder. Look at yourself really seductively in the mirror and just go 10 pence, 10 pence, 10 pence. 10 pence. Do that for a week. Come back and he goes, well, I've been doing that. 10 pence, 10 pence.

Do it on the other shoulder. I think his right shoulder forward. 10 pins, 10 pins. Stux. 10 pins. So he's going 10 pins, 10 pins and put his shoulders forward. And he's like, great. You're doing really well.

And then he said, what you need to do now is put 20 pence between your ass cheeks. And again, none of it makes much sense. Was it? Well, no. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell it how I remember. I'll tell me what it really is.

So you go, 10 pence, 10 pence, 10 pence, 50 pence. 10 pence. Oh, yeah. 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 20 pence. That's right, 10 pens, 10, 10, 10, 20 pens. 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 20 pens, 20 pens. 50 pens. Yeah. So you're jigging your body into.

You're jigging your shoulders, you're putting your ass back and forth. And he's like, that's what you need to remember when you're in bed with a woman basically. He's like, right, you've got the method. So now when you're in bed, you've got to just keep doing that. and that's the way you'll satisfy your lady. So then he gets with a girl and he's in bed and having sex and he's going, 10 pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 50 pounds, 10 pounds, 50 pounds.

And she's going, oh, oh, oh, I love this. Oh, more, more. And he's like, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, oh, sod this, 1, £1, £1, £70, £1, £1, £1, £1, £1, £1 £0. So this is the problem. Yeah, you've done the maths wrong. You've got the maths completely wrong. The whole time I was like,

he's not going to have coins. He's not got the budget for this joke. He's always short. You never give more than you've got on you. Yeah. You've over promised. Yeah, you need a pound in there somewhere, don't you? 10 pence, 10 pence, 50 pence, pound.

10 pence, 10 pence, 50 pence, 50 pence pound. That's right. It was killing me. It was like watching someone, it was like watching someone like do like a stunt or something set off and you like, no, no, one of those tires is on one key.

Yeah, but yeah, there you go. But, you know, pre-dicemortization was when I was telling you. Shilling. Top and take me. Oh, never hate you. A lot of system. One shiny coin. One shiny coin.

So that was the joke, right? That was the joke. That was the joke. I've forgotten why I asked you to tell it now. What was the joke? That's what I'd do before I get on the plane. It's a good punchline though, isn't it? The satisfaction of doing the action.

It could have been. That action was, I was elated the first time you told me that joke. Oh, it's a good joke. Yeah. Less so this time. That, that. proper thrusting action. The pelvic thrusts, yeah.

The pelvic thrust when you're 12 or 13, phenomenal. I must have talked about the school disco when Star Trekking came on in it. Oh dear. Star Treking came on in it. Star Treking across the universe. Someone started just pelvic thrusting themselves

around the hall and everyone joined in and it was like... Like a conga, but everyone's just... No one's touching each other. You know those scenes in a film where the outside of... You sure it was at the time warp. No, no, it wasn't it, it was Star Trekking. Everyone was going like this.

Star Trek in across the universe. And everyone was just like fucking to Star Trek. Yeah, air fucking to Star Trek. Air fucking to Star Trek. That's the name of my first, my first memoir. It covers for childhood years. And how much does it cost? Well, it's advertised as 1 by 70,

but it's actually been reduced to. 90p very quickly for legal reasons. Oh boy. Of course. 10 pens, 10 bucks, 50pence. Did the teachers wig out? I think so.

I think there's, like, what it reminds me? Did they get involved? It was my, no. No, no, not Elston Hall. Um, one, um, it reminds me of those high school movies that you watch where the outsider character invents a dance at the prom and everyone starts doing it. It's like it's going to be okay. That's the breakthrough.

It's footloose. It's footloose. It's T-Wolf. It's California man. It's all of those films. But it's air fucking star trekking. It's the less cool version of it. It was very liberating at the time.

I imagine. You forget the censorship that was going on around the late 80s. I know. That would be pixelated now, wouldn't it? Yeah. I think in some ways it was a protest against that chip. But, you know, no one really said that.

Yeah. That's what she was doing to, our poor miners. And it was about time we took the power back. And these miners took matters into their own pelvises.

The thing about the pelvic thrust is you're always just, you've got sort of two, it's got kind of two fists out, haven't you? Yeah.

You're not holding on to anything. No, it's very aggressive. It's very, it's very aggressive. But also in, in reality, yeah, you'd never have sex

where you're not touching the other person. Unless you're doing it are like on the ski slope. It's very ski slope, isn't it? Yeah. It's very ski slope is what it is. It doesn't feel like it bears any resemblance.

Now, it's been a while, but it doesn't bear any resemblance to what I remember sex being like. Do you remember the joke about the three guys who share a tent? Here we go. Here we go. I don't, actually. No, no, I don't think so. Three guys share a tent. They're on the side of a mountain and they wake up the next morning and the one on the left is,

bloody I had such a powerful sex dream last night. Oh, I dream someone was really wanking me off. And the guy on the right says, me too. So weird. It was a really sexual dream. the guy in the middle said, oh, I dreamt I went skiing. Yes, we get it. Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you. I was really hoping you'd say the wrong sport there. I dream, but I was on the bobsleigh. No, it's not that one. It's one of the Winter Olympics. What I really miss about those days is you'd have those jokes. You'd never tire of the retelling of them. Oh, my God.

Do you remember the guy with the yellow knob? I tell you what, Tom, I tell you. We're going to go and have a coffee, me and Clarkie. Just straight down the barrel, do a bunch of gags for us. Clarkie has to be present because he was the original audience. He's the ombudsman for the joke. That was a good joke, except the fact that his knob wasn't yellow. You mean Wattsitz.

It's orange and it's what's it's Tom. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. It was, I mean, there was FHM jokes page. Of course there was. That played a big part in it. Yeah. That broadened the mind. Did we actually...

I don't think it broadened. I think narrowed perhaps. Didn't we once guest edit the FHM jokes page? Do you remember that? You're asking the wrong person here. I know because you don't remember anything. We did definitely do... Was it FHM?

I don't know if it was FHM. I think it might have been loaded because we got nominated for Loaded for Loaded. No, it wasn't loaded. It wasn't. It was... We guest edited the Christmas Jokes page and they made us do a photo shoot. Christmas jumpers.

Oh, I do remember that. What a career, what an odd career we've had? I know. What's a strange career? To even call it a career feels odd, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.

What a series of jobs we've had? What a series of unrelated jobs we've had? That's the next, the next memoir. It's from air fucking to Star Trek to series of unrelated jobs to death. Yeah. I guess that it's like,

death of an aeroplane crash. He forgot to kiss the ground. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.

But yeah, if I could pray and like if, if I could just, and I think a lot of people are doing that, by the way. I think there are a lot of people who are looking like they're praying and they're actually thinking like, oh, what are we going to cook for dinner tonight? But like, I think it's the aesthetic of praying is stronger than the actual, when you drill down into the act of it, when you go like I'm chatting to someone who never talks back to me.

kind of vibe. I don't want to dis people who believe. I think you are dissing people who believe. Because also, also if, if, just to play, just to play, I was going to say devil's advocate, but quite the opposite. If I, just to play God's advocate. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I believe myself to be.

God does talk back to people who believe, right? Because God communicates through your life. These, you know, through acts, through acts of God. Yes, but not verbally, like. Yeah, but for some, for some, for some. Like I'm talking about a conversation. But for some people, it is. It is a conversation where you listen to,

you listen to that higher power voice. I know, what you're going to say is, but that's not true. No, no, no, I wouldn't say that. To the people who believe it is true. But they have a conversation. I'm saying it's not a verbal thing. Whereas like when you grow up. Oh, you want a voice from the heavens saying,

clear your eldest son. Absolutely. Like in the old movies, you know, like it'd be like Moses. And it'd be like, okay, now we're talking to God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead, you have to go. You have to do a bit of work there to hear. You have to do the other voice.

You have to do both. It's Ventrhicism act, is what you're saying. Well, like, there isn't a verbal, you know, and actually if there is a verbal voice of God, people get worried. Like if someone goes, no, no, he actually spoke to me. I heard it. Then people would probably be like,

but that's the slight strange thing that's going on with religion, basically. If someone said it concretely actually happened. Yeah. I was on my balcony and there was a booming voice from the sky. I reckon people in your, church would be like, we. Eyes on Derek.

I don't actually believe in God. Like, no, but I was like, I had a very religious upbringing, and I was around a lot of people, and I still am around, a lot of people who still have a very strong belief system. And I don't want to pour cold water on people's belief systems, but there is a kind of, there is a dance being danced where it's like, if someone did come into church and was like, God told me to do this.

God was bellowing at me in my bed this morning. I heard his voice. Bellowing as well. It's like, not the be, people would be like, oh, no.

Yeah. You want God to speak to you. Eyes on. Mysterious ways. Yeah, exactly. Like, you don't,

you don't want, God very clearly bellowed right at me. And if, and also what did he tell you? It's like if someone was like, he told me to have chili con cancarnie tonight. And people would be like, did he?

But it's like, well, maybe he did. Yeah. But I'm telling you the people, maybe God loves chili concaught, maybe God's not a vegetarian. But the people in your church

would be alarmed. I think if God's voice got out of control. Do you know what I mean? If God's just chat away. Hey, if you were God though, I'd definitely do that.

Because there's a general sense of like the church being like, no, God will be telling you to do things like this. Helpful, nice things. It's like, well, how do you know?

You weren't there? You fucking belled at me about this chili. He gave me a recipe. I think that is helpful and nice, isn't it? If God's giving you a recipe. Yeah, but it's like,

it involves the teeth of like, other people. He'd be like, oh no. Eyes on Derek. All I'm saying is like, I don't know. Eyes on Derek is killing. Yeah.

What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, eyes on Derek. He's making a chili con carne con teeth. I'm glad you called it. I was a bit, yeah, the teeth thing I didn't quite understand. So you're saying, if God's telling you to go out, extract teeth. Chili condente?

Chili condente. It was right there. Yeah. Chili condente. Yeah. Doesn't that just, doesn't that just mean it's hard? Doesn't that just

forgotten to defrost it properly? Oh yeah. Eyes on, Derek. Everyone sat around with a frozen chili con con in. Is he sure God didn't taste stick in the microwave, Derek? Could you mellow the recipe at me as well, please? What I love about this version of a person that doesn't exist is they don't, you've created a scenario that you're angry about.

That's never happened where somebody said, make chili con carne with human teeth. Oh, this fucking idiot in order to disprove the power of prayer, which, let's face it, most major religions. I'm not, I'm not. No, we've got it all.

We've got it all. Oh, he's the only one who's got it right. Derek's, Derek's communion with God. I'm not talking about the church. The church are wrong. These hypocrites. You can't, you know.

So you're saying you can't have, you can't have just a little bit of it. You've got to have all of it. Everything that God says to anybody is the word of God and therefore that was. I was about to use the phrase in for a penny, in for a penny. I'm not very good on the maths with that. God be in that church. God bellowed up me to do this.

Actually, that's who he goes to it. It's not his doctor or his dad. It's God, isn't it? He says to God. Anyway, but I do agree with you, though, that the aesthetic of prayer is cool. Oh, my God. I think it's very cool. looking up to the heavens and sort of saying this is bigger than me.

Yeah. It's, you know. Whereas, like, wasn't it Jude Bellingham who scored the other day and like kind of shouted, it could only be me. There's like, there are two ways footballers can go basically. There's a great, I think Gerard scored a goal once and like they slowed it down and lit red him and he just screams, I am the fucking man. I'm the son of God.

Bloody out, Gerard. You would have that kind of like, you would have that feeling as well. Do you see Harry Kay the other day? They slayed it down and he was saying, I'm going to make a chili con party with teeth. It was really upsetting, actually. Fair enough.

Second goal, he's earned that. 40 minutes gas mark six. Just screaming it at the amused crowd. It's going to need more than 40 minutes. Is it? What the hell. Those teeth are going to take an age to soften up. Dickie tummy in the round of 16.

Oh dear. I'm the altitude. But yeah. My favourite gold celebration of all time is snorting the lines. No. We all remember that one. I remember that one. Yeah, of course.

It was a very funny thing to do for romance. Very funny thing to do. Got him into trouble. Yeah. It was very funny. Cheeky. Did it smack of slightly over-prepared, though? Snorting the line?

Yeah. Like, that's not coming to you in the moment, unless you've got a real problem. It's like an over-rehearsed Oscar speech. You've got to tread a line. If anything, that's where you really earn your onions of being, that's when you really know you're in the hands of a good actor. That's real performance.

The real performance is the acceptance speech. You've got to act a little bit surprised. There's a few ways to play it, obviously. you got to act a little bit surprised, a little bit humbled, but prepared because you've got to have good stuff. Do you know who really fucking proved that he's an actor?

Brad Pitt. Because when he got nominated a couple of Oscars back, he had lots of joke writers write really funny things for him. But then, oh my God, every acceptance speech he did, he was just hilarious, but it seemed very natural.

It's all lines that he'd had written for him. And you kind of go, that's the action. How do you know how do you have writers writing for him? I heard of a rumor. Tom.

Did you? Honestly, did he do 10pence? We've had a series of jobs, haven't we? We have had. We have had a series of jobs. I believe I read this

in FHM's Christmas show. He reads FHM. They were all Christmas jokes about bumming reindeer's. It's very odd. Thanks for this and I'll tell you why Rudolph had a red nose.

It wasn't. because it was cold. Two pound poor tea. Why is he trying to snort his Oscar? Santa and he comes once a year, poor sod. Thanks for this. Oh no. Oh, dear.

Those were the jokes you wrote as well, weren't they? Basically that. I'll tell you, who's got a big sack? Oh, no. Get Brad off. God, he's ruined the golden globes. But like when his gloves, his globes are golden. It's why I actually think those that kind of get a piece of paper out,

What happened there? An act of God. Who's in the house? Was there a Megan? Is Megan coming in? Oh no. Poor Megan. Oh, no.

It's why if you get a piece of paper out and read off a piece of paper, I respect that. As opposed to someone who has clearly been rehearsing in front of the mirror. How about the old take the paper out? Scrunch it up. Throw it away. Throw it away. Take another big...

Go, go get it. on scrunch it. Five lines later, actually. I had some good things in there. That feels, yeah. But again, that feels written, done it? Yeah, it's prepped. It's prepped.

Yeah. There's like, you know, but anyway, the thing about a goal celebration in its purest form is it just should be spontaneous, euphoric, off you go. It's very unlikely that people came, you know,

they had a team around him before and said, listen, we're thinking about you screaming, I'm the fucking man. What do you think about that? That's coming straight from, that's the voice of God speaking through him, that is. Yeah, but that's what I mean about Robbie snorting the line though. You think? It's like, at someone, they chatted about it beforehand or he'd clearly thought about it.

You think he's got Colin mockery, Ryan Stiles, Tony Slattery around. What can I do? What's some funny bit of business I can do with the corner flag or something? Whereas Maradonna just did it for real. Well, no, the absolute sweet spot. And I think the best goal celebration of all time, And because of that is gas scoring Euro 96. They'd just been in trouble for doing the dentist chair.

He scores this incredible goal. I think the best England goal over at second, best England goal I've ever seen. And then he's... Then he does like a spontaneous... It feels very spontaneous. He runs on the floor. He points to a water bottle.

So he's communicating to his teammates. Where else is he running if he's not running on the floor? Pardon? Well, no. Yeah, he was famous. He was kissed the ground and then levitate. My favourite goal celebration. And we never saw him again.

Got on a plane, didn't he? Sure, let's get his people rules. He throws himself on the ground, points to a water bottle, and it feels like he's writing in the moment. Yeah. It feels like pure improvisation. But because he's on such a level with his teammates,

they get it. I don't think they're disgusted it beforehand. So he's like, get the bottle, get the bottle. He adopts this position, and they squirt the water in his mouth, just like they did the squirted tequila in the dentist. great and it's like a big

fuck you to the tabloids it's very funny it's endearing it's iconic and it does not feel pre-planned do you think it's pre-gland

those water bottles were full of that's what we're saying I always thought it was like they were like we in his mouth I thought that's

what the Rachel was why would you think they would wee in his mouth he'd been reading a lot of loaded back in 96 why would you think you thought

they were weeing in his mouth all this time yeah I thought because it was like that was like where they were doing it from. As a reference to well I mean the fact that he likes to be pissed on.

What is what? What a revelation? Do you remember the dentist chair story? Yeah, yeah. In all that sense now. I reckon I came up with that in the moment, you know? Karke, I'm just going to ask, when you go to your dentist?

They say, I'm just going to have to numb you. You come out with more yellow stains, don't you? It's supposed to be less. Have you heard the Jackerat the guy with the yellow teeth? It's really sad actually. It's really sad. Worse of a best chili con dente I ever had. If you de-frosting this chili con dente, it tastes like piss.

Where did you get this recipe from? Bellowed, you say. Oh dear. Oh, dear. It can't be bellow yellow. they call you bellow yellow do they like it too there's any chance we could stop because even you go and get a drink

and he can just keep talking there's a room we're going around they call you bellow yellow I've got really fun way of drinking it oh dear should we end on a prayer I think we need to now okay Heavenly Father we'd like to apologise for this entire

podcast and in fact not just apologize for the podcast, but apologize for the series of disparate jobs we've done over the past 20-odd years in your name, Amen. Also, if you've got any more disparate jobs going. Please do get inside. Please bell of them our way.

Okay, thank you for that. Go and have a nice time. Thank you, mate. Thanks for that. It's all right, isn't it? Thanks for listening till the end. Yes. Spread the word.

Spread the love. and I think that's about right. Yeah, that is about right. That's about right. That's about right. Don't forget patreon.com forward slash pappy's flat share and of course you can find us on Instagram

on TikTok and even on YouTube. Cheers everyone. Oh, today's episode was produced by Connor. Oh, hey. Cheers everyone. Not an afterthought at all. Have you got something you need to beat on? rattling through that outro.

It's the quarterfinals. Cheers, everyone. Bye! Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto

for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.