Pappy's Flatshare - Pappy's Flatshare Slamdown ep 1601 with Dan Tiernan & Katie Norris

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

We're back for a brand new series with amazing guests Dan Tiernan and Katie Norris. Pappy's Flatshare Slamdown is a silly panel show, recorded in front of a live audience and hosted by Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry-Wicks. Dan Tiernan - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tiernancome...⁠ Katie Norris - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/katienorris...⁠ Pappy's - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomed...⁠ Support us on Patreon - ⁠https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare⁠ Find tickets to all our live shows here - ⁠https://pappyscomedy.com/live⁠ Filmed and recorded by Emma Corsham, Ed Moore and Gwyn Rhys Davies Edited by Olivia Swash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greetings, viewer dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a brand new series of Pappy's Flat Share. And today is a Flat Share slam down. Oh, the flagship show. Yes, indeed. It is our live panel show. We do it in front of a wonderful audience,

a gorgeous audience in London's Glittering West End. And we have phenomenal guests from the world of comedy. And today is no exception. Audience, tick. Guest from the world of comedy, tick. We've got the brilliant dance. Tianan and the wonderful Katie Norris. Yes, please.

Yes. Darlings of recent Edinburgh festivals, legends of the current circuit. Britain's comedy future today. Absolutely right. Britain's comedy future meets Britain's comedy past. Will it rain? Fingers crossed.

So, yeah, two fronts meeting in a dank basement in the West End. A tornado of comedy for you. Absolutely right. This was so much fun. We had such a nice time recording with these guys. They were absolutely wonderful. And if you would like to come and see a flat share slam down live in the West End, then we've got two coming up in February.

So go to pappiescom forward slash live. And I can tell you now, in fact, I think I know it's off the top of my noggin. It's Stevie Martin and Sam Nicaresti on the 23rd of Feb. On the 23rd of Feb. Yes. And then we've got Amy Mason and Matt 44. 24. of third. Absolutely right. They're both at the Phoenix and Cavendish Square.

Just box for circus tube. Very easy to get to if you're close. Really hard to get to if you live in a different continent. Totally. But it's well worth the trip, I would say. Well worth the trip. And yeah, come along, see those being recorded. You know, there's discounts if you're a member of the Patreon. And there's also a joint ticket you can get, which gets you into both shows at a discounted rate. Why not do the doubler? Do the Monday? Do the Tuesday. We're going to. So should you? Absolutely. You don't just get a discount on the tickets. If you join our patron, you get the warm, fuzzy feeling knowing that you're supporting your boys on their journey as they podcast to the grave for just £4 a month. You'd be able to get a bonus episode every Thursday, be a part of our wonderful patron community. And the bonus podcast is something where we interact with our listeners all the way through. It's a great place to be. So please join the patron. From a safe distance, we interact with them. Don't worry. If you join the patron, you're not going to get a knock at the door and suddenly we're having a sleepover. It's not a meet and greet situation that we're selling there. No, no, no, no.

No, what's that? If there is a desire for that, we'll put that in as a tear on the... Guys, get in touch with us via the Patreon to tell us if you would like a meet and greet because we've got nothing but time on our hands, as you can tell from this. We'll come round your house for a bit. Listen, we're happy to travel. Listen, if you live close by, fantastic, if you don't, we've got a car. We'll get there.

We'll get there. So, yes, please get to the Patreon. Otherwise, we're on socials, the usual gubbins, your Instagrams, your TikToks, your YouTube's. Yes, indeed. Your truth socials. Absolutely. Get on board or fuck off. Doing some of our best work over on truth social.

We really are. For more years. Yeah, get into it. Enjoy the pod. You're not pointing. Tom Ben! What is it, Matthew? Yeah, what is it?

My old mucker. Well, look at these pillows. No, not those ones. I'll do up my dressing gown. The pillows on the bed, they are positively flat. You know, I hate to body shame, but one of you two needs to plump up these pillows. Wow.

That's the chore, is it? That's the chore we're doing this week. We've got to plump the pillows. Plump up the pillows. And it's going to be one of you two is going to do it. Who's it going to be? It's not going to be me, Matthew. Oh no, Ben. Why's that?

Actually, a fun fact about me. I eat so much boiled cabbage. I can make any cushion a whoopee cushion. Gosh. I thought it was going to be plumbed. plump up the cushions if I'm going to be honest with you. So. You can make any pillow a whoopi pillow.

Yeah, we go. Okay, it works both ways. What about you, Tom? It's not going to be me, Matthew. I had a terrible time. I used to work in a really weird factory. And the guy who ran it used to make me fluff up his pillows and also play German folk music on a tuba.

It was a chocolate factory and I was an umpah plumpur. Doop-a-p-pud-de-do. do. There's only one way to settle this. It's not bad actually. We're going to have to have a Flash Shlamdown! Flash Shamedown! We're going to flat Shared Slown without me!

Flat Shared Slown! So we're going to Slown down! Flash Shepound! Hello and welcome to Flat Share Slam Down, the panel show that says, I've been alone with you inside my mind and in my dreams I've kissed your lips

a thousand times. I sometimes see your past. outside my door. Pillow. Is it me you're looking for? I'm the host of Landlord Matthew Crosby. Let's beat the bend. They've been plumped themselves up backstage

for the last half hour. It's Tom Perry and Benedict Clark. Yes. We had a little meeting before the show that we need to uncomplicate the start of the show but we realized there wasn't enough time to do it tonight. We can't do it tonight. Tonight's not the night to change it.

We've been doing this for 14 years. Let's not change it now. It's working so well. It's fine. It's fine. Simply fine, guys. But listen, you can't plump up a pillow on your own. Who have you brought for a little pillow talk tonight? Tom. Well, Matthew, the jamberies in danger.

Oh, no. Yes. I thought you were changing it then by changing the name. I brought my best friend, Katie Norris. Katie Norris is here. We are best friends. We are, aren't we? What a way to find out, hey Clarkie?

What a way to find out. We've been knocked off the top spot. Katie, it's great to have you on the show. Thank you for having me. What kind of a person are you to live with, Katie? Oh, I'm great to live with. I mean, I live on my own at the moment. Because my flatmate moved out.

Citing, what reasons? To move in with their boyfriend. So I'm looking for a new flatmate. Oh, anyone in? That's incredibly needy early daughter. Does anybody want to move in with Katie? That's good story. I'll take you.

Yes, congratulations. So what are we talking about? What's the... Talks through the flats. Okay, so it's in... You've got to be alright living in West London. I don't actually am pitching it yet. There's a cat, there's a cat, is that all right? Atticus.

Oh, pretentious. I've only read one book. Yeah, because it was on the curriculum. Yeah, my cat's called the hungry caterpillar. I've not read that one, so I don't understand that one. Yeah, and there's an open door policy. Oh, and... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How does that manifest itself? It just means, you know, you've got to be all right with just, like, you know, being free. Oh, no, I don't want to move into your cabots. What do you mean free? Also, the spare room has magic powers as well. The spare room has magic powers. Everyone that's moved in there. Pue, be, boo, boo, beo, boo,

the lights are going out. Biu, be, be, pew, beo, pew, pew, boo, boo. No lighting. Oh, I've applied for that show. I didn't get on that one. But my future husband's in here, isn't he? Beu, beu, boo, pui, pui, pui, pui, No, it has magic powers.

Everyone that's moved into that room has fallen in love and got married or pregnant. Really? Oh, wow. Have you been in that room? Yeah. Not worked for you. Yeah, I have been in that room.

You've broken the curse. You're all the curse. Well, I really hope that at the very least, you get a whole new flatmate out of tonight. Katie Doris is here, everybody. Katie Norris. Clarkie, my friend. Clarkie, my only friend, my only friend.

My only remaining friend. My remaining best friend, Ben Clark. Who have you brought with you this? I brought along my secret lover. Dan Tienin. Dan Tienin is here. Dan Tienin. What a way to find out.

Yeah, it's a secret to me as well. The worst kind of secret. Dan, what are you like to live with? I'm, yeah, I'm a disgrace to live with. Yeah, I live with four like very, very close friends and they kind of like put up with me. But we've become incredibly codependent. So like two of them were in and we were out and the sun, it was very sunny day and they were in an argument. And I didn't know what they were arguing about.

And it turns out they were arguing between them about why my neck had got burnt by the son. And when I tried to get involved, they were like, stay out of this. Let the adults talk. But yeah, no. It seems like they've adopted you. Yeah, pretty much. You're their rescue dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

But yeah, now, recently I've gotten to crystals as well. Yeah, I mean, no. Now, like, like, obviously magic crystals. You know, sort of change the future. Don't laugh, Kate, because that's my... I was just thinking you should move in with me. Yeah, it's my faith. I'm not going anywhere near your virgin house.

Thank you very much. But no, no, just like magical crystals, you know, that sort of change the future, get you on the hit podcasts. You manifested this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope one day they start working for you, Dan. I'll talk to James and Ed, but I'm not holding out much hope.

We've met our guest. Let's find out who'll be fluffing up the pillows and who'll just be fluffing it up as we play round one. Oh. Yes, indeed. It's a real treat. You forget how good the black-eyed peas were.

They were our Lennon and McCartney, weren't they? They really? Ours. Yeah, they were in a way. Yeah, Appleby app, what a guy. Anyway, this first round is called comfy, flump, plump. Here's how it works, guys.

I can tell you're enticed by the title already. I'm going to give our teams an item, and then they have to say something that's just a bit comfier than it, okay? So we're going to do it in pairs. I'll say something, you say something's a bit comfier, your partner says something, it's a little bit comfy than that, a little bit comfy than that, a little bit comfy than that,

but there is a twist, and the twist comes in the form of these here flumps. So every time you say a new item, you have to put a flump into your mouth, okay? So one point for each new increment of comfiness, one point for each marshmallow, still in your gob by the end of the round. So the end of the round will be decided when one of you is no longer intelligible.

So Clarking might be a short round for you. We'll start with something not at all comfy like a murder and hopefully work up to something almost unbearably comfy like a murder in a Richard Osmond book. So we're going to start with Ben and Dan. I'll give you a packet of flumps each actually.

Thanks, man. Because I believe in you guys. That's ambitious. Do you know how to open these? The traditional way, if I'm honest with it. Yeah, Clark is a use of the hands method kind of guy. Okay. Open it up to the table? Yeah, if you want to empty them out to the table so you've got, you know, got easy access.

You know, your pub flumps. Your pub style. Open the packet up, pub style, exactly right. Okay, here we go. So, I would like you to get increasingly comfy and increasingly flumpy starting with a broken paving slab. A broken paving slab. Who's going to go first?

I will. Yes, okay. How are you going to make that more comfy? You step on it with a soft-souled trainer. Lovely. Stepping it with the soft-souled trainer. Oh, God. Step on it with a soft-souled trainer

whilst doing a breathing exercise. Oh, mindful. That's very nice. Why does it sound so different when you've got one fluffer? flump and knee. It sounded like you had four in your mouth. Okay.

You, you, you, why are you suffering on it with the soft saltator? You, you have someone who's fanning you with a palm leaf. Okay, do you guys, breathing exercises. I'm a really small mouth. You do, listen, Dan, you're doing great. Am I? You are, you are doing great. But is this fine?

But you're doing fantastic, all right? All right. No one thought that the eating the flumps bit would be the hard bit of this game. It's really tense. It's becoming... It's becoming incredibly tense. But listen, you're doing great, Dan.

It's like a deer hunter. Does anyone have a palm leaf to fan down with? I'm eating up a bit here. Okay. What, shut the fuck up, Gary. No, no, no, that was good, so. No, I'm sorry, mate. Listen, you can take the boy out of the clubs.

You can't take the clubs out of the boy here. That's how it goes. Even with... So in my head, I'm like, you're not. in Hull van. You're not at a whole comedy lounge. Tone it down. These are liberal people.

They're giving up their Monday and their Tuesday. Thanks for coming, Gary. Good luck with your testes. That's not what I'm dribbling. This is. This is an art, is it? I've got some napkins, if you want. I was in Leon earlier on.

There you go. I thought that was money for a horrific moment. No, of course not. I've got some money. Let's end the game here. You step on it with a soft soul trainer whilst doing breathing exercises and being palmed with a fan

whilst the person fanning you with a palm leaf tells you how handsome you are. We're learning so much. Yeah, and then they start singing a soothing song that goes a little something like this. It's beautiful. Oh, oh, that's so sorry. Look at you're comfy.

Do you understand what the word comfy means? This is, this is good stuff. Guys, this is good stuff. I also realized I got a bit bored while he was talking, so I thought another one in my mouth. I forgot about it. Bored whilst I was talking. Oh, that's a team working together, is it?

What the fuck? Okay. Alright. You step on it with a soft sole trainer. Whilst doing breathing exercises or someone fans you with a palm leaf and tells you how handsome you are, whilst singing a song that goes something like this, ooh, you're so comfy,

and you got really nice curly hair, and your dad is really good at playing table tennis. And then they start, they start massaging your patello. What, the chocolate spread? Get your fingers out of that. It's spoon only and no double dipping. Clark, Clarkie, Clarkie, you...

I think you've gone too big, Clarkie. Or your mouth has gone too small. I can't tell what it is. Go on, final one, let's see if we can hear what Clark has to say. Go on, get that one in, Clarkie. Good lad. I'm done.

And then. And that's the end of the round, folks. That is the end of the round. For our dear friends, Dan Tien and Ben Clark. Let's just, Dan, how many have you got? I've eaten them all right. Eating them. I'm starving.

Okay, well, how many did Dan manage to get in this about? Clarkie, how many did you manage there? Let's call that a nice 15. What? What? How many do you make it, Emma? I've taken note across both of them. They've got eight.

Eight. Okay, eight. Very, very impressive. Eight. So that's 16 points. Very, very impressive there. A strong start. Okay.

We get fresh bags, good. Yes. Just take them from Dan's garb straight into yours. Next up, it is Tom and Katie. Now, I'd like you to make something increasingly less comfy. Okay, we're going the other way around. But still increasingly flumpy. You can't start with 25 flops in your mouth and so you take him out.

So it's increasingly flumpy, increasingly less comfy. Remember the round ends when a player is either no longer decipherable or get to type due diabetes. So we'll start with something extra comfy. It's dear old nana. Of course it's, it's dear old nana, and she's in her favourite cardigan drinking haulics out of an ug boot. So that's what we're starting with.

We're making it increasingly less comfy. Who's going to start? Okay. Where are you put it? It's back there. It's back there. Yeah, he's right in the pouch. Dear old Nana's there. Yeah.

She gives you a wink. Oh no. Oh no. Oh dear. It's a winking Nana. It's a winking Nana. That's not comfy. That's not comfy.

That's not comfy. What are you winking for, Nana? Nana is drinking some horlicks out of an ugly and she's got no pants on. Oh no. Nana. Is that winking too? That is quite comfy though, isn't it?

Where are you going from here? Nana gives you a wink. She's got no pants on. She gives you a... Oh no. Okay. She gives you a little word as original. Oh yeah.

And says, suck on that. Oh yeah. As soon as the pants have come up, you're fucking Nana. You're fucking Nana. There's nowhere else to it to go. Listen, let's just admit we're fucking Nana on a broken paving slab. That's how this round's going to go.

We've got a mouth full of flumps and we're nuts deep in Nana. Nobody wanted it, but this is the world you've created. I started with Nana in a cardigan. First thing, it's a wink from you, Perry. And Perry, stop chewing and eating them, all right? You're supposed to hold them in your mouth. Are you putting one at a time?

He's putting them in his brain. He shucks one of each nose and slammed his head on the desk. How many of you going? You look like you got six in there. I just saw it, I'm quite competitive. That's Tom's face. That's just what he just, he always looks like he's carrying a few flops. Okay, so I get hungry.

Okay, okay, yeah. Okay, yeah. We usually get this done. We've got to get this done, okay, so we've got, we've got suck on that. We've got suck on that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so she's drinking from the Yugboot. She's got no pants on.

She gives a wink, and then she sucks on the Wothers' original. And then you realize that she's dead. Oh. I really hope we're not fucking her. She gave you a wink. She gave you a Wurther's original. You realize she's dead. You look across your room, and your ex's dad is sat there.

We're learning so much. You again and says, You've killed another one. You god damn shitman. Okay, that's actually fine. Yeah, you realize your ex's dad sat in the corner writing a review of your podcast. That's tough.

And you read it and it says, Two Stars, Fine. Katie, you've turned it to Beavis and Buttheadhead. It's where it's someone else I want to meet me as call that. Okay, okay. And then, and then, and then I walk into the river as well.

With pants on. And you give me a word as original and say, fuck it. I was getting the words as original and I say, why have I gone really West Country as well? Yeah, yeah. And I say suck it! And then I

I forgot, I'm forgetting to what they're in. And then I'm holding a lighter. Yeah. I'm a hairspray. Yeah. And I go out of your face. Oh, good God. So you torch somebody's face off.

And I go like, ooh, I like it actually. Yeah. And as you say that, no, no, I'm sorry. This, by the way, is way longer than I expected this game to go. Yeah, I seem to be four or five flumps. But this is like, you. With double-digits here. When you say that,

Nana, Nana, wakes up and glides across the room. Yeah. She wakes up and she glides across the room. And fucks you. Okay, Kate, you go for another one, Katie. You reckon you've got another one, isn't you? And he fucked you, fuck your Nana.

Okay, you can have to slow it down, Casey. Yeah. He's fucking his Nana. Okay, yeah, yeah. She's fucking his Nana, yeah, yeah. And then you're a reviewer. The reviewer, yeah. One of Perry's flumps has popped out and pop it back in, Perry.

The reviewer, yeah. Take his pants off. Takes his pants off, yeah. What does he do? I hate to ask the question, but what does he do? Okay, that's the end of the round. When Perry uncorks himself over the front row, it has to be the end of the round. That was a visual representation of what the reviewer does.

We can only apologise. Did that turn anyone else on? I'm going to pop those into a glass. There you go, Katie. And apologies to anyone sat in the splash zone there. No refunds. Does anyone want some flumps? Never again for the rest of my life.

So let's find out. how comfortable the team should be feeling at the end of this round Emma what has that done to the scores well that that was a lot of flumps it was a lot of flumps Emma we could all agree on that so Ben and Dan got 16 Tom and Katie 30 oh oh so Tom and Katie are in the lead but this pillow fight is far from over everything could change we return in part two see you in a bit yes Slime down. Bap-Badap-d-bo.

Mbap-a-B-Bah-Bah-Bah-Bah-B-R-R-I-P-P-A-B-R. All right, peace, Gatman. Before the break, Tom and... Has he gone? Yeah, but a long time ago. This isn't breaking news. We're not breaking it. Well, it's breaking news to you, Tom.

It's heartbreaking news to you. Did you ever see him do it with flumps in his mouth? He was amazing. He was amazing. Honestly, you didn't want to be sat in the front road for that. So before the break, Tom and Katie were in the lead. The scores haven't moved, and I am still.

desperate for someone to plump up my pillows. I suppose you can't say that anymore, can you? Suppose you can't say that anymore. Anyway, let's find out who it's going to be as we play round two. It's flat games. Let's play forever. Roll the dice, spin that thing.

Put that there. Use your toll. Games, if you lose, you get nothing. Games, if you win, you get gold. Gold. Oh, no. Listen to that. No.

You don't get that Mitchell and Webb, do you? No one stood outside your window chanting that, Ludwig. A people stood outside your window, chanted the word gold. Anyway, this week we're playing our version of code names, which we're calling whoa, whoa, whoa, names. I'd like you to sing about a famous person to the tune of a famous song. Your teammate must identify both the song and the famous person you're singing about.

The title of the song is also a clue as to the celeb. One point for the song, one point for the famous person and a huge ten points for performance. Tom, we're going to start with you. Yes. There you go, mate. That's your song and your celeb. And someone's delivered you a pint as well.

What a life. What a chart. There's a lovely caraff of water for Matthew. So there we go, yes. Absolutely right. Okay, yes, what a charmed life you have. All right, open up that envelope, have a look, have a think about it, because the song's going to start any second now.

Okay, okay. All right, okay. Producer Emma, play that unknown tune. That bloke that you'd invite to a dinner party if you'd like. I'd tell you facts all of the night, and then I'd read a book. I'd call up my friend and say hello, But he lives in LA now, don't you know?

And I had a problem with blow, But now I am okay. Okay, fantastic. Really good. That's reasonably well documented, isn't it? Do you have to? Yeah, I think it is. Okay, so Katie, have you got any idea

who Tom was singing about And do you know the name of the song? It's The Cure. Friday I'm in love. Is correct. That's a point right there, yes. And who was the celebrity? So someone with a friend in L.A. Yes.

Is the friend in L.A. James Corden? No. Then I don't know. And with that, she ate yet another flump. Why not? No idea. Well, you said something about... You sang beautifully by the world.

It was really gorgeous. It was absolutely gorgeous. You could never tell you had 15 flops in his mouth through your singing that, could you? You read a book? Yes. He does read a book. All the other stuff was good as well actually

around the... You invite them to a dinner party? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely classic dinner party. People say, oh, my dream dinner party, this person would always be in people's lists. Not mine, clearly. Well, you never know.

He tells people facts, yeah. All the details were in there. Oh, I want to get it right It's so badly Because that's how the game works There's a clue in the title of the song Friday I'm in love Yeah, yeah yeah

Friday I'm in love, Friday I'm in love It's Courtney Love everybody It's Courtney Love Charlie Shee Yes Don't worry if you don't know it It doesn't matter It does matter

It actually does It's just a podcast Oh no Everyone knows you all know Because we were here last night And it was the same one Well, I don't know, so fuck you. Okay, all right.

I'm going to, before I give you points, I'm going to throw it over to the other team. Do you guys know who it might be? No. You didn't just say it, did you? No. You said a celebrity. Was that a joke?

Oh, yeah, Courtney Love. It isn't Courtney Love. No, do you know? Yeah, I think it's Stephen Fry. It is Stephen Frye, of course it is. The L.A. The L.A. thing was a red herring. No, no, no.

Hugh Lorry. You know you did it's Fry and Laurie. Who's Hugh Laurie? Okay. Wait and why is Friday I'm in love? Because it's even Friday I'm in love. There we go. Very good!

There we go! Actually this is brilliant. This whole thing is actually brilliant. Fuck! Jesus! He's in! He's in! Thank you my precious crystals!

Dad's gonna turn up tomorrow. Games! It's great to make a new fan, it really is. Because we haven't made one since 2013. Come on! So Tom, you know what? I thought that was absolutely brilliant. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough to make Katie guess it.

So I'm going to give you 9 out of 10, though. A 9 out of 10. I'll take it. Beautiful performance, though. Okay, Dan, maintain that energy. It's you now. Oh, no. Because that was musically very good.

Do you think so? Yeah. Can you leave one of you on iTunes please? I am completely tone deaf. This is not good. I think you're going to be all right with this song. Okay, now, Clarke, you are working out the song and the celebrity that Dan is being tone deaf about.

Cautium. Let's play that mystery song. Here we go. Someone going to point that we went to sing. All right, here we go. It's gonna be the day that I see. Not really, just kidding, I cannot see, you see. Because I like to play the piano,

but I am a little bit blind. And that's all I really know about this guy, but that's okay, because this is a bangor, big up Manchester. I look this guy to see Manchester, but he can't see. But if he could see it, I reckon he'd say, isn't it lovely? Oh gosh, I'm actually killing this bit, I can't believe it. Turns out I'm a musical comedian. It's actually easy, Katie Norris, why do you make it look so hard?

Just kidding, congratulations on your nomination at the bridge. I think you were wrong. I'm gonna knock you out. I've made it so off the year. I'm a lyrical genius. Oh my god. That was absolutely beautiful, dancing. Good job he counted you in, eh?

You know, I was like, wait, we're doing numbers as well, oh, wait, we're doing numbers as well, wait. And then I don't know which one was after that, yes. Right, so, cocky, have you got any idea What the song was, first of all. Any idea? Wonder War. It was Wonderwall, of course it was. And what was the celebrity?

Stevie Wonder! It was Stevie Wonder! Of course it was Stevie Wonder. And you know what? I enjoyed the head out of that. I'm giving you the full ten points for that. I enjoyed it. Fantastic.

Katie, here is your secret song and celebrity. But Tom, can you identify them from the charge remains? You got that there? Okay. Emma, hit the secret track. little badass on the tennis cot you'll whip your ass he's sexy and she wears mini skirts and I'm sorry I'm quite good at singing but I'm really hung over she's got it she'll whip your fucking ass the awards like me because she's got it and she's more rich than me

and you and everyone in this room because her name is it's not charlie sheen yes she's not gacy norris everybody kati norris well listen it doesn't matter that you saw it on the bit of because the clues were so good. Who is the... Venus Williams. Yes, of course. Yes, of course it is Venus Williams. And what was the song?

Venus? It was Venus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was either out or Williams, wasn't it? Yeah, I know. It was Venus by Bananaama, but how many points am I going to give you? Well, you know...

Oh, God. I've got so many different drinks on the go as well. Sorry, what? Listen, I'm not giving you points for drinks. We'll give you points for performance. And I'm going to give you 10 out of 10 because I loved it. But it was absolutely wonderful.

Clarkie, you're going to take us home in this round. There you go. That is your song. That is your celebrity. But Dan, all you've got to do, the hardest bit for Clarkie, opening the envelope, of course. There you go.

There you go. You got it? Okay, all right. Oh, baby. He's got it. Okay. So there we go. Clarkie, that is your...

That's your song. That's your celebrity. See, Dan, can you name them? Emma, let's hear it. He was in a film called The Holiday. He fought his hairline and he won. He fought his hairline and he won. He was also in a film called AI.

He fought his headline and he won. He fought his headline and he won. He was in basically every film throughout the 90s and naughties. I don't know why. I mentioned AI. He was also in the talented Mr. Ripley. He fought his hairline and he won. That's good stuff, Defle Farkey.

Okay, Dan, have you got any idea? How many points do I get for getting this right? It's a point for each. So it's one flump for getting this. Yeah, it's one. As a new listener and fan, I take issue with that scoring system. Oh, wait till you get to the next round.

You've got no idea, Dan. How hard you're going to have to work for a point in just a little bit. What, plum? I've done my nan! That's the same as this. That's crazy. And anyone who's coming late, that was a flump reference. That wasn't Aebelist. Yeah, just really clear there.

You're not in whole, Dan. They don't like that here. Your song about Stevie Wonder on the other hand a little bit. But it's nice when you qualify the bits that are. No, that was able-less. Just to be clear, that was able-less. I think the song was, I fought the law. Yes, it's absolutely correct by the clash, yes.

By the clash, yeah. And Jude law, is absolutely right. And Clarkie, I am going to give you, I think I'm going to give you 9 out of 10. Nice. The other rendition, a nine out of ten. Spe it like you mean it. Producer, a lovely rendition, nine out of ten.

I can see, he's threatening me. Producer Emma, let's keep no more secrets. What are the scores at the end of that round? How many flumps have we scored at the end of that round? Just adding the flumps up. Yes, top those flumps up, caution. Oh, yes, yeah. Okay. Flumps counted.

Okay. The key to giving out the scores is just to really maintain the tension in the room, yeah. Yeah, just talk through the maps. Ben and Dan have 40 points. Tom and Katie, 52. Oh, well, this next round is really going to count, guys. That's right, it's Beef Brothers.

We've got a Beef, maybe we can help you. Beef Brothers sorting out your beef. Yes, indeed, it's Beef Brothers, where each week we ask our panellists to sort out a flat share-based beef, and this one comes from Rachel who is in the audience. Rachel, hello, are you there? Hello. Hello.

Hello, Rachel. Rachel Wright, this is her beef. Neighbors' alarm goes off frequently at night. They are a funeral home. Oh. It's Nana! She's out. She's awake.

Nana's back. They're a funeral home, so I feel weird about going over to check. What's going on? Okay. So Tom and Katie, you are on Rachel's side. Ben and Dan, you're on the side of the dead. But before all of that, let's have a cross-examination. Let's find out a few more details from Rachel.

Just to check, Rachel, you're here, but there's no one from the funeral home here tonight to represent themselves. Not that I've seen. Not that you've seen. Okay. All right. Any questions? Stevie Wonder. Any questions? Any questions for Rachel.

Or any pop stars, his name should just like to shout out. We'll also accept those. Have you met the people from the funeral home before? Clark, they're dead. No, I know, I know, I know. I'm messing around for, you know, to keep it lively. No, it's a very good question, Rachel. Yes, I have.

And what are they like? One of them is very nice, and the other one's a bit of a dick. Really? Good, bad cop. You get it in every funeral home, don't you? It's the classic, yeah. Why are they a dick? They won't let me park in their car park. Bloody Hearst taking up the space again.

Have you ever thought about putting a load of flowers that spells the word dad on the top of your car? We're just solving problems, Rachel. They don't live there, it's just like a company, right? Yeah, homes a misnomer there. So it's not a morgue? Yeah. They're dead bodies in there? It's not co-op, is it?

Because they're not being very in co-op. I'm losing them guys because maybe really great to be here thank you. You lived there how long has it been going on for? About six years, seven years. Is it staffed at night? Is anyone in there? No. Fucking hell. Are you scared?

No, I've got the mobile number of the one that's a bit of a dick but when I ring him he says we'll go and see if him's breaking in and if they are I'll come and sit there. Oh so he asks you to do it? Yeah. And have you? If you get murdered more business. He's always thinking the business, isn't he? Have you ever been over there? No, I mean, have you ever been over there

to investigate if something's going on? Like, what is going on? What's, what's happening over there? Someone was dropping off a body. Someone's dropped, what? What, like a charity shop? Just like... In a bin liner.

In a bag for life. Ironic? You've been over to the funeral home in the dead of night. Yeah, that's when the alarm went off. Yeah, it wouldn't be a problem in the day, wouldn't it? Because there's someone there, yeah. It's very brave. And someone was dropping a body off?

Yeah, well, someone who was meant to be, yeah. Like fly tipping. That's how I want to go. Fly tip me, yeah. Just in an old fridge. On the Royal Mile on Edinburgh. Any other questions? Any other questions for Rachel? How often is this an issue, Rachel?

Like a lot? Once or twice a month. Why do you think the alarm's going off so much? I think it's a bad alarm and they should get a new one. My mind wasn't going there. I won't say where it was going. Where was it going? Well, I just listened to this other podcast, sorry.

What? I refuse to believe there are other podcasts. called Noble about that crematorium place. It's not, but there's about people that were all just, but it's someone fucking the bodies. Oh. Oh. It's not, um,

and obviously Nana's walking around because she's not dead yet, but everyone just thought she was because she looked like taxidermy. But I, um... Wait, once or twice a year, you said. I, um, yeah, I don't know, maybe someone's just fucking the bodies.

Well, Say it for your argument, Katie. The defence risks. Whereabouts do you live, Rachel? Wales. Wales. Oh. That explains it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The northernest land of Wales, yes. Well, hopefully that is enough information for our teams to make their cases. So without further ado, I'm going to call upon Katie Norris. You're going to begin the case for the prosecution. Now, remember, you are on Rachel's side, okay? So who am I, I, I mean, court? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. Who am I? Sorry, you have to explain. So you're, yeah, yeah. So it's like a sort of... I was listening to the other podcast. That's very good.

Yeah. Yes. Very good. So I... Yeah, so basically it's like a courtroom type situation, right? And Rachel is, it's brought her case to the courts. Right. And you're defending Rachel.

Okay. And they're on the side of the funeral home. So you're going to put forward why Rachel is in the right, okay? Well, something has to be done. Yeah. Possibly put forward a solution as to what has to be done. And you've got a minute to do that. Right, okay.

A minute's a long time, but I'll do it. Do you want? No, no, no. I will do it. You've got a minute. That's my job. And 27 flumps. Yeah.

Actually, yeah. Do you want a bag of flops? Yeah, go on. Okay, alright, get your flumps. Because I want to beat what I did last time, because I could have gone on. Are you all right with that? Do you consent to me flumping?

Because you have to consent. Okay. Here we go. What? It's really rare that the guests make it more weird. But I'm here for it. Why not? Okay, so my...

So we've got your minutes. Katie Norris begins now. So my client, Rachel, from Wales, is being kept up twice a month because someone is setting off the alarm in the morgue, that's kind of soil. And I think that the alarm should be disabled, or at least the person to be softened,

Pace yourself, you've got 45 seconds. And someone needs to check on Nana. Because old people need to be cared for and not just discharges and less than a morp. Why you bring Kirstama into this? Who? Nana. Nana, yes.

Yes. It's sitting off the alarm. She sets off the alarm, yeah, yeah. Yes. And so you used to say to her, and that is going on here today. There we go, Katie Doris, everybody. Katie Doris.

No, I took my wrong. One more minute. Oh, you want, so you want one more minute? By all means, one more minute and 44 flumps. Are you all right, then? Do you want your... How many do I get me, you know? Yeah, but you've just earned 500 points.

There you go there's your little flump pot there What did you call me? Is she getting points of those flumps? I did take a tally, but... Oh, do you get any extra points of flumps? Do you want? Yeah. Again.

You definitely don't get extra... Oh, I won't put that there. You can have one extra point for eating some flubs. There you go. Double points for this round. Okay. Dan Tiernan.

You're up next. You're opening the case for the... defence, your minute begins now. Okay, Your Honour, I would like to, by the way, he's not really a judge, it's a game. I would like to say that Rachel here

has absolutely no conscience. She's not a good person and you know she's not a good person because she's travelled from Wales to watch a live recording of this podcast. Just to begin with twice a month, it's really not a massive issue. You know what?

I mean, like, they've clearly not changed the batteries in the smoker alarm because they're dead. The batteries or the people? That's good stuff. Game! He really flip-flops on this podcast, doesn't it? He's such a fair-weather listener. What? The Fosters Award.

No, seriously, like... But seriously, though, folks. No, but seriously, I'm good to be here. You're losers. No, you're not, you're good people. Apart from Rachel, Your Honor, I think, you know, at the end of the day, they're trying to look after the dead. It's a hard job.

And also, you... Yeah. That's it, everybody. That's the good point. Tom, I'll tell you now, this is going to be hard coming back from that. The old legal defense of and also, yeah. How are you going to...

Rachel, Rachel, how do you think it's going so far? It's a bit confusing. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Not talking about the whole show, just this round. Okay, Tom, now you're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Are you going to do it as yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a defence lawyer from the deep south

in a John Grisham novel. Oh yeah? Mr. Fanshaw Standon. Fanshaw Standon, folks, presiding and providing your minute should you need it, begins now. Ladies and gentlemen, of the Jewry. Lot of them their lawyers there from the big city confound in us with their volume and

their words. Right here, we simple folk. Here, we softly spoke. him on a Sunday, poem on a Tuesday. Don't ask me about Friday, that's my custody. I all know what I'm talking about. Anywho, got me thinking there about them there Rachel now. Now them there's lawyers from the big city,

they're gonna probably tell you the death is the end. But we small town folk, I'm reminded of what my mom Mama used to say to me, every door's a window, breaking an entry in three years. But I wrote to her every day. It reminds me there of the story of farmer, Hammed, Hammed, Father Hammed. Had himself a prize, Bullock.

Favorite bullock. Why, here, dress him if he could. Where are you getting them trousers from? Well, one day something he ate, they say, an iron. Can't go feeding livestock household objects. He buried that bullet in the middle of May. That night, when he went to get into bed, heard a noise. Fall like a bullet to farm a ham. Story short.

The bullet was in the shower. Fucking, you know, the defense rest. wrist. Thank you, Van Schor. A lot to chew on there, Fanchure. And finally, to conclude the case for the defence, it's Ben Clark, you have a minute, and it begins right now.

Well, first of all, Rachel. Clearly, no offence. You're an idiot. I said no offence, guys. Come on. It's clearly supernatural, what you're dealing with here.

And as far as I'm concerned, you're missing out on a business opportunity. There's alarm going over. You can set yourself up as a public service so that when the alarm's going on, you know, when there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who you're going to call? Rachel. I think I'm going to rest. Yes, fantastic.

In peace. Now I can't make the decision myself as I'm currently under investigation for flumps grumping. So instead I'm going to ask our live Phoenix audience to cast their vote if you think that Rachel and therefore Katie and Fanshaugh made the best case, I would like you to applaud now. But if you think that Dan and Ben and therefore all people who have ever died made the best case, please applaud now. It's with the dead guys.

So that is one point to Dan and Ben of course. And of course one point to Katie for the flump, so it sort of cancels it. Call it a draw. Sort of cancels itself out really, doesn't it? Yes. Yes, it does. Rachel, how do you feel about the results? Very excited about the new job.

Thank you very much to Rachel. Big round of applause to Rachel. Now it's time for a jingle that should get someone fired and quickly. It's the quick fire round jingle. This is the question. Quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's always so amusing that it has a long introduction. It has a long introduction, though the round itself is short.

Whoa boy the quick fire round it flies by at a quick pace It doesn't stick around but this jingle does the jingle takes a long time It goes on a long time Though the round itself is short It's a lot like years They can fly by in the blink of an eye Before you know it it's 20 25 20 years since the black eyed pee Release the album Monkey Business

Monkey Business is 20 years old 20 years Since their magnum opus Don't funk with my heart, my humps and pump it. They were in the form of their life. And funk spelled with a pH, that's very important to remember. Over 20 years since their album, Ely Funk. And Elyfunk was spelt with a P.H.

Were they doing it on purpose? What does they... Dyslexia? Did they not know how to spell? It's a question we'll never know. Oh, take me back to the summer of Elie Funk. Where is the love? Shut up and hey mama,

just a few of their hits. Also the first three things. first three things I say at the start of a day but enough reminiscing let's time to get on with the quick fire round what a walk down memory lane that was yes indeed this is the quickfire round now let's not forget that this show is all it's not about the black eyepies it's all about plumping up my pillows. So in keeping with the theme, I'm going to ask our panellists to take a trip to Plumpton by prefacing every answer with the names of the fireman from popular kids TV show, Trumpton. And by popular, I mean, they made 13 episodes in 1967.

So that is Pew, Pew, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, and then the answer. Do either of you know the show, either of the guests know the show? Do you know what this? No. No. Because the VHS only came out in 1989. So it's like, it is still for us quite a current reference. Pew, Pew, Barley McGrew Pugh, Poo, Barney McGrew Cuthbert, Dibble and

then the answer Pube That's it, he's got it Tinin's fucking all over it me Good morning everyone I just woke up Pughy New

Bernie McGrew Cuffet Dibble And it's fucking good to be here Let's close This is what we're talking about Here we go Instead of brothers I would like you to shout out

Your first names Ben and Dan let's hear yours Ben. Dan. And Tom and Katie, let's hear yours. Tom. Katie. Off we, go. Name a sport in which you might find a featherweight competitor. Pew, Poo, Bonnie McGrew, Cup, Dibble and Boxing. It's correct.

Where would you find the big orange sofa in the TV show Friends? Pugh, Poo, Barley, McGrew, Cup, Dibble and the lounge. It's not the lounge. No, it's the park. No, Ben. The fountain. Buddy, Bunny, Bunny, Cusp, Dibble and. Central Perk is the answer I was after, yes.

We've got a mountain to climb. We've got a mountain to climb. We need 40 more points. 40 more, let's go. Pass the flops. Tom Cruise jumped on a sofa on which celebrity's TV chat show, yes. Pugh, Pugh, Barley, McRue, Cuthbert, Dibble and Oprah. It's correct.

Pillow Talk was the debut solo single from which former member of one direction? Dan. Pugh, Poo, Marnie McGrew, Cuthbert Dibble and Harry Stiles. It isn't Harry Style. Katie. Pew, Pugh, Barney, Macrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Zane. It is Zane, absolutely right. Name the Sleepy Kids TV show that featured fruit in nightwear.

Tom. Pugh, Pugh, Barley, McRoe, Cuthbert, Dibble and Bananas in pajamas. Is correct, yes. Which TV show starring Pauline Quirk and Linda Robson. Tom. Tom. By Lee Eilish. Katie.

Yes. Now, Pue, Barley, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, a birds of a feather. It's correct. The farting noise made by a whoopie cushion is often described on the cushion itself as a what? Ben. Pugh, Pugh, Poo, Barnie Bolly Grew, Cusbert Dibble and a Bronx cheer. A real Bronx cheer, absolutely right. Name the big-eared Disney Elephant.

Ted. Poo-Poo, Bownie Bownie Cusper Dibble and Dumbull. Is correct. The soft and cuddly Lotto Huggin Bear appeared in which film from a massive Pixar franchise. Tom. Pugh, Poo, Barnabrew, Cuthbert Dibbleon Toy Story 3. Is correct. What are the names of Donald Duck's nephews?

Oh. Fucking hell. Donald Duck's nephew. What are the names? All of them? There's three of them, I'll tell you that much. Come on, send it, Ben. They all begin with dirt.

No, one of them does. But we can't do it that way. You can't... It's Huey Dewey and Louie, I'm afraid. I'm so sorry. What is the name of the knife-gloved villain in The Nightmare on El? Yes.

Pee, Peepoo, Pardie Bally Mcougar, Cusper, Dibble, and Freddie Kruger. Oh, the tension in that front answer. That is the final question in the round. And the end. off the game. Final question. Get fuck, Matthew.

We were on my back. Dan, I simply refused to get fun. Five more rounds who would have got back in front. No, we were, we were. You were cooking. You know what? I think it's going to be very, very close. I'll go for hours now, honestly.

I'm not leaving. Me, Gary, Rachel, we're staying. It's a locking game. Okay, well, I'm going to leave me. before the end of the show, if that's all right. So, so, Dan and Katie, before we wrap up, have you got anything to plug, apart from, of course, your gobs with a flump?

Have you got anything to plug? Katie. I need a new flap, then. Of course you do, yes. Pop onto Craig's list or slide into Katie's DMs, if you, serious offers only, please. Dan, what about you? Mine and Katie's housewarming party.

In the Virgin House. To the Virgin. Thanks to all of you for watching. As always, check out our Patreon. Patreon.com, forward slash, happy, flash share. Like, subscribe, rate and review our podcast or recommend the podcast to your friend. That's harsh.

So, producer Emma, what are the final scores? Very, very tense. One of the final scores? Tom and Katie. 58 points Ben and Dan 46 points So Ben and Dan are plumping up the pillows

whilst Tom and Katie are having a sleepover with me thanks to our guest Dan Tiernan and Katie Norris We have been Pappies See you next time on Flatshire Slamda Waii!

Pappies Flatshire Slabdown Richard Crosby, Ben Carson Tom Porry who is special guest Katie Norris and Dan Tearnan It was advised by Pappies and Ben Walker your technical expertise was by Emacorsion, it was produced by Emacorsum, big thanks to everyone at the Phoenix to all the wonderful

folks who came to today's show and to you at home for listening. Patis Fáquez, Stavlerlander, as a secret new production for ACAS and the internet. Cheers, everyone, bye! One of the greats in the books, sticking in the records, put a fork in it, it's done.

Yeah, it was fantastic. It was fantastic. But you know that already because you've watched the whole thing or you've listened to the whole thing, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for watching. And if you do get a chance to go and see Katie

or Dan live. They're absolutely brilliant. They're both phenomenal acts. Well worth checking out. We'll have all the details of where you can follow them on socials in the show notes. And don't forget, come and see a live flashed Slamdown. Pappiescom. forward slash live for tickets.

And oh yeah, and if you're not already watching these on YouTube, you're missing out. You're a mug. Let's not go too far, Tom. You really are missing out, guys, if you're not watching these on YouTube because you get to see all. all of the wonderful funny faces that Clarky pulls. You can see the sweat in real time.

You can see the sweat and the booze pouring out of them. Join the, I'm pouring into him. Join the Patreon. Get on the socials, but most of all keep well. Today's episode was produced by Olivia Swash. Hello. Cheers everyone. Bye!

Great.