Pappy's Flatshare - Series 5, Episode 1 (Neighbours)

Episode Date: January 8, 2015

Series 5, Episode 1 (Neighbours): Angela Barnes and Alex Brooker join Pappy's for the first episode of Series 5! All the old favourites are here... puns, ill thought-out games, overlong jingles, deep south legal arguments and a dodgy opening sketch. Also: Matthew channelling his inner soul singer, Ben getting an ASBO, Tom weirding out his real-life neighbours, Alex almost persuading someone to move to Reading and Angela finding filth in everyday words. It's good to be back! The fantastic show art comes courtesy of Matt Partridge. Check him out @MattSatOnTheCat or at his website: http://www.mattpartridgeanimation.com/ Please do help us spread the word about the new series: Facebook it, tweet it, comment on iTunes it. Muchas gracias! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now streaming on Paramount Plus. Hey baby, I hear the blues It's calling, toss salads, and scramble eggs. Y'all know how this goes. And maybe I seem a bit confused. Yeah, maybe. But I got you picked. Ha-ha-ha.

But I don't know what to do with those toss salads And scramble eggs. Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier. Life's calling again. New series now streaming on Paramount Plus. Matthew, what are you doing peaking out the window? So new? Tucking on your little dick dick.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, some new neighbors have moved in next door. Let's go and meet them. Are they Australian? No, they're not all neighbours, Australians. They're on that TV show, home and away. Let's get a bottle of wine and go over there. I've got a better idea. We get three bottles of wine and stay right here.

But I drank all the wine at this morning's cocktail party. We could give them a bottle of Cillip Bang. No, we can't. It was a really good party. We need to give them something. Let's just get another bottle of wine. Where for? We could borrow it from the neighbours. Forget the wine. One of you two is going to help me meet the neighbours.

Well, it's not going to be me. I once misheard the phrase love by neighbour. And accidentally loved my neighbours, Thai. Well, it's not going to be me either. I'm trying to figure out what Tom's talking about. Well, I love their thigh. Love thigh neighbour. Look, there's only one way to settle this. Oh, we're going to have to. Yes, you've guessed it.

We're going to have to have one of those. Flash airs like that! Flash airs like that! We're going to flap. Flash airs like that. We're going to share it with our leader. Flash airs like that. So we're going to slide down! Clashes log down! Hello and welcome to FlakShareSlamdown, the panel show that says, I met this flaggo in the club, went by the name of Beacon Deluxe.

This has green wise high maintenance, winner took her out, men had cast me at 20 bucks, met this chick named Walnut, whip nearly made me a six to the point off throwing up, so I called Jack Glitchip with this weektavik Crispin, I still can't get enough, you what I want, you what I need. I want it, taste your taste, take your home with me. You look so good, good enough to eat. I wonder if I can peel your back and be your fantasy.

What's your nibble? Tell me what's your nibble, ooh, what's your nibble? Tell me what's your nibble, ooh, what's your neighbor. Oh, what's your neighbor? Tell me what's your neighbor. Oh, what's your neighbor? Tell me what's your neighbor? What's your neighbor? Tell me what's your neighbor. I'm going to stand on Matthew crossbeam Worth the wave mafia Can I get a rewind and while they're under my roof? Before my rules. That's it, my tenant's Tom Perry and Ben Clark. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Ben, why are you saying that to me and the neighbours? Well, a couple of years ago, unfortunately broke my leg, and a wheelchair band in my house. I had nothing to do, but with my binoculars, look out. Let's say, the back window. Something very strange happened. The plates were called, and I was arrested for looking at my neighbours constantly. They were binoculars.

Oh, that is a sad story. It is, it's trag magically peaked in the minute. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Terrible, I've got an answer by it. I mean, I can't come within 100 yards of my neighbours, which means I can't go home. Oh, no! LAUGHTER

Oh! That's it. It's just sad ending. It's had everything that I did. It had everything that I did. It had suspense. It had pathos. It had me being sarcastic over the top of it. It has a mispronunciation of pathos.

I like that. Now, can I say that right? I don't know if that is. It's cool. Anyway, it's doomed. So Tom, yes, tell me and tell me true. Why is it such a chore to meet the folks next door? Well, I have steered clear of neighbours because a few years ago, a terrible crime took place in my neighbours house. Can I just say for the listeners at home, why are you threatening people with... Well, this is your mic set. I'm thinking this through. I'm having second thoughts.

I know what's happened, you forgot to repair a thing and you're just... Here we go, here we go. Just stick with me on this one, cross the... stick with me on this one. Terrible crime happened at my neighbours house, can you imagine? The only witness being a gravy cube. Now I was put in charge of protecting the only witness to the crime that poor gravy cube became to me and he said I want to join the witness protection program and I said we're going to have to send you underground. I disguised that gravy cube, and I realised I committed a cardinal sin. For it is written, do not covert your neighbours oxo. I'm sorry, co-naud.

Do not, as in covert, or co-vers operations. Oxo, my name is Oxo. I mean, I'm hopefully dyslexic, but what the fuck is going on with you guys today? That is not bad. Check your Bible guys. Any punchline that relies on the phrase, check your Bible guys. I am not going to that gig. So you've got guests with you this week. Absolutely. God, just lucky. It's lucky you brought them. So before we find out, let's be making new

friends. Let's meet some old friends. Who have you brought with you this week? Let's start with you Tom. Well guys, terrible news. You're not going to believe this, but the Jamboree is in grave danger. I know. I know. Would you believe in this day and age? We got caught without a wheelchair ramp. I'm like, oh, the council pulled us up on it. So it's about time we teach some boxes. Oh, I know.

Oh, my God. The Jamborees needs were very special, ladies and gentlemen. So I called on my old friend to readdress the balance You know from the last leg it's mr. Alex Brooker everybody Don't look at me like that mate I'm gonna ask you this innocuous question. What kind of a flatmate or neighbour are you? I'm an asshole.

Oh, I'm a f***ing nerd. I don't like my neighbour. The guy who lives opposite me. I've spoken to him and he's pleasant, but I dislike him. I've got him, yeah. Because he seems very, very, very, very, very, very, very... He seems, um, is flip-flops outside his door. It's like he's told to you a man who cannot wear flip-flops. Yeah, yeah.

Look at these, mate. You can't wear these, Kenya. You'd love a bit of this, actually. What do you mean? Who's the one you could have won? I don't know. But I really hold it against him. I'm a flip-flop guy, so... So you live on a block... They stink his flip-flops.

Yeah, so yeah, it's like we're in like a block of flats and... He's got his own, he's welcome, man. So like, he's always put some on there. But flip-flops are perfect, you can post them. Just pop them... Pop them to his left box. Do you know what? The next time I get boozed up on,

I'm definitely gonna do that. Fed and knock on on his door and calling him a prickle night. In fact, take a marker pen and write his address on the bottom. Stick a stamp on it and freak him the fuck out. That is an incredible idea. I got caught fly tipping. Whoa! Is that like a really small cow tipping. You get really drunk.

I broke, you know those little clothes errors that you get. I fell over in my flat and I kicked out in frustration at this error as if it was explored because I knew that I looked a knob. I went to put it down in the rubbish and I put it in the recycling and some bloat looked at me and he was just like You're not meant to put that in there I'm just metal in it and I tried to do like my proper like odd voice as well. I see it again I've got to get myself packing that moment. You're the guy. Sorry, you can't put that in there I gloves on as well, so he didn't know I didn't have fists Sorry, you can't put that in there. It's metal winner. Oh! Bloody hell.

I gloves on as well, so he didn't know I didn't have fists. And, Clark, who have you brought along with you this week? I've brought my lovely neighbour, Miss Angela Burns! No! So, Angela. Angela, you're very privy. It's the first time Clark has had a female guest on that he hasn't pretended he's slept with. The one's going to say I've ticked her box, but... No! So, what kind of a name are you like?

Well, my flatmate, I asked my flatmate this because while I was coming here and I knew you'd ask me and she said, yeah, you're brilliant flatmate She'll never hear which is it but I know I'm a bit of a worrying flatmate because I sleepwalk Yeah, you're an exciting flatmate. Well, you say that my old flatmate Mark. He we had an open fire in our house and he bought an axe Oh That may lose the war open fire That's amazing! And that may asleep walks, open fire, axe, go go go! He hit the axe when Tommy were the axe was kept. In case he'd done something, it's pissed me off and I killed him in my sleep.

True story. Is that how sleep walking works? I thought, surely you just sort of wand around the place. You don't sort of enact things you'd like to do. I do eat in my sleep. Do you? I woke up once half a packet of butter in my hand, I didn't eat the other one. I've woken up with half a packet of butter in my hand, I didn't need any other... Oh! I've woke up half a packet of butter in my hand, but I'm not going to eat it. What's your last tank of encourage?

LAUGHTER Last tank of it, I'm all back after the episode. So we have met our teams, it's time to drill a small hole through an adjoining wall and spy on round one. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE What the... I say hello when you're done and in. MUSIC Whichever you put out recycling. I say hello when you're gone and in We can't wait you put our recycling

We told you for the shops just the other day But there's still one thing I can never say I hate having sex I hate having sex I hate having sex Oh yeah, and I like it, I like it. I really, really like it. When you're at a high school, I saw it for your packages. When you first moved in, I carried your fridges. And you, you'd be no traveller at all. You're a nice looking couple. These are very thin walls. He got all these amazing walls! Yeah, he having sex! And he having sex!

Can you hear me having sex? Oh my honest name to you having sex! I will like it, I will like it! Don't stop! So, I've got a real problem there because I've got new neighbours and I know they listen to this podcast so the round one this week is the noise next door each team member will be given an instrument you're excited excited about this round I think that was just worried for a moment you'd

invited the improperly don't worry but I forgot in sync. That is a joke for four people with made those two. Very, very happy. And those four people are in the noise next door. Now, with you each can be given an instrument. Working together in your teams, you have to play a famously noisy song well enough for me to guess what they're playing. Producer Ben and I think Tom and Ben have come up with the song titles to play. And you get two points if I guess it. As always there are further

points for musicality, individuality, rock, roll, baby, baby, baby! And fuck you all don't do what you tell me! So Ben and Andrew I think you're gonna start. You've got the recording, you've got the cell phone, nice and close to the mics there folks. There we go. That's good, that's it. Clarke, can you play the other cell phone? Well, I mean... Yeah. So, uh... Bansi, can you play the recorder? No, I can play London's burning. Oh, let's let's have a bit of London's burning for me again. Objection, you're on it. I don't think she can play London's burning.

Objection, you're on it. I don't think she can play London's birth. Please tell me I haven't got a record in a minute. No, you're fine. I mean, I'm all believing you can achieve, but I can't. Don't worry, you will be fine. So'll be fine. So we're gonna start with Ben and Angela Let's hear the song you come up if I do the bit and then you do the tune That's not bad. I believe I know where that is I believe I know where that is. That's too good! That is really good! Sounds like bullshit. Wait, it smells like teen spirit.

Yes! Oh no. Sounds like bullshit, smells like teen spirit. How do you smell like bullshit to me? It smells like someone practiced, I don't know. Tom and Alex, you are up next, and you have got the xylophone and the swan-y whistle. Oh, yes.

You can decide which ones you prefer. The xylophone and the swanie whistle Oh, yeah, you can decide which ones you prefer The xylophone or swanie whistle. It's a very good xylophone. Yeah, blame the xylophone Good call here we go. Oh, yeah, yeah, a famously noisy I just had to be don't worry. I'll do the and then motion-titting That is the bare minimum of what you've got it. Okay, there we go Have you started? If there is anybody from the DWP here, I do struggle with this. I do still need the 24 hour care with your parents. Play like your benefits don't depend on them.

OK, here we go. OK, here we go. play like your benefits don't depend on okay here we go okay here we go you ready off you go will you play three two a three star star of a race one two a one two three four Oh, I think I've got it! It's a size faction by the Rolling Stones! Oh! What do you want it was and I didn't get it? I think this is a bit of a podcast. You give people insurers like,

can't play and get them drunk. This is a good podcast. What are you producing? The Jingle Samony. I don't do that so much. I think we're going to do another round of that. A bar to your Clarkie. Would you like to do another one?

I can't go on that one. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. Yeah! You fair with the ble that. I'll tell you what, to level the playing field. Should we stop it? Let's do it. Oh, yeah! Okay, yeah, yeah. You fair with the bleed. Okay, give me some money with some.

My gobs on it. Good. Most action I've had in ages. LAUGHTER Okay, come on Alex, give me a beat at me. Okay, so Alex, you're a real beat-a-blocker. I mean, come on, go. Come on.

Come on, everyone. Angela and Ben please my stroves will you play? And she's buying a stairway to heaven. I've got no fucking clue. Can you do me a little bit more? I'm so sorry I can't get it. I can't do it, I'm so sorry I can't get it. Wait, I can't throw it open to the audience, can the audience get it? I'm not gonna drop my elbow. How do I? Hey, don't bite your nose! I will not accept that! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I used to have a proper job. Yeah. So Tom and Alex, you are the music man, you come from down my way.

What will you play? Ooh. Oh, easy. Oh, easy. So is Alex. Cocky. Yeah. Go.

Three. All right, go on. OK, go, go, go. I don't know. So it goes from height to low on you. It goes from here, this. That's high and there's a low. Yeah, I thought your difficulty was running physical.

No! Well, we knew there was a line, and we just didn't know when we were going to cross it. I was hoping it wouldn't be during round fucking one. Here we go, come on, let's do it. Oh, I've got it, yes, it's Seven Nation Army by WhitesRype. Yes! I'll take a half point for those guys on that one.

So if it needs to be the field of love, I think, well, I've got food poisoning at the end of that round. So, producer Ben, what are the scores? Well, after all that time and effort, Ben and Angela have won. Tom and Alex have won in a half. Oh, so Tom and Alex are the current leaders for Ben and Angela aren't yet, not knocking on the name of the store,

they're still everything to play for as we hurtle into. Round two, it's flat games Forever That's The sound of the name GAY! If you win you get go! GO! GO!

GO! GO! GO! That is the sound of the nation's catchphrase. This week we're playing... This is what it must have felt like to be an early Christian. Right? Secret signs on the door,

some kind of incredible leader, just chanting shit and loving it. Now we know the real world doesn't understand. Oh, waiting for the moment, we all get slaughtered. Have you not read the iTunes reviews? So this week we're playing our version of a classic game from our childhood. It's our take on mallets mallet only we're using an actual ball pin hammer on Tom's head. No, we're using marshmallows in a game. We call marshmallow mallet mallet. Here is how we play. The word association game where you mustn't pause, you mustn't hesitate, but to make it

harder for every correct word you say, you'd have to put a marshmallow in your mouth. If you pause, no marshmallow. If you hesitate, no marshmallow. If the word is not an association, no marshmallow. You have one minute on the clock and 20 marshmallows in front of you. Each one you put in your mouth is worth a point.

The winning team is the one with the most marshmallows in their mouth after a minute. Are we giving a start word? Or do we have to stop? I going to give you the first word. So Tom and Alex, you are up first. Look at each other and go, Blah, Blah, Blah. Your minute starts now and your words... Who's the first after your word?

Let's go with you first, Tom. Your word is trousers. Legs, arms, fingers, out of all your mouth. Sorry. Sorry. You're wasting dangerous time guys. Look and say a word. What's the next one? Magnificent cards and put it.

Benefits. All, mate, kick on. Oh, my God. 20 seconds left, guys. Okay, let's start again. Your next word is watermelon. Broker. Fruit. Nut.

Fat part. Cake. Boothfruit. Tea. Porphone. Oh, please, I'm going to tell you. That is your title of trade. APPLAUSE So, we should rename this podcast,

The Worst Man of Life and Friends. LAUGHTER the worst man alive in France. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER You actually did a pretty impressive, there's nine of those left, so you got 11 points there for that round. 11 points! APPLAUSE So, let's see how Ben and Angela do now.

Look at each other and go blah blah blah. And I think Barnes, you can start. OK, so you're going to play the the game your first word your minute starts just a second and your first word is buttons Duck We're starting again cocky you ought yaw to start, and your word is brison. Jail! Bait! I'm f**king...

Fishing you! What was it? Fishing. Oh, bait, trick, fishing, bro. Tackle! Football! What was that? Football! Okay.

Fuck you! Whoa! Man, I'm f**k. Sorry, what? Excuse me, is that manity? What was that? Fuck ball! Okay. Fuck you! Whoa. Man, I'm sorry. Sorry, what? Excuse me, is that manatee? Like, I'm not allowing. I'm manager, yes, sir. Restaurant.

That's... 10 seconds left, come on guys. Napkin, okay, we got it. Clean. That's a good time. I want to wait till it ends. Oh my God. If you're not going to believe this, face corner 11 as well.

So I think that round took us a valuable lesson or a release. Gave everyone immediate onset type 2 diabetes. I mean the lesson it taught me is I'm extremely aroused by Angela saying the word dirty with her mouth for that full of things. Do you notice how all of the words were completely muffled apart from that one? Dirty. But Jason Ben, what are the scores at the end of that round? Ben and Jelena have 12 and Tom and Alex have 12 and a half.

Oh, oh, oh! Now streaming on Paramount Plus. Hey baby, I hear the blues, it's calling, toss our lives, it's grand bulldoings. You all know how this goes. And maybe I seem a bit confused. Yeah, maybe. But I got you picked. Ha-ha-ha.

But I don't know what to do with those Tossalettes and scramble eggs. Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier. Life's calling again. New series now streaming on Paramount Plus. Next up is Round 3. It's on me this. It's Beef Brothers! Oh!

If you have a problem, don't call me the problem, because you've got a problem, call me the V. If you've got a beef, think we can help you, be from the Sony like a beef. Yes, it's Beef Brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort us out of flat share, based beef, and this one comes from Hannah, who is in the audience, you're there, Hannah. Hello. Now Hannah's beef is this, so listen closely. Here we go, this is the nature of her problem.

My boyfriend and I want to live together. I am a super hip-londonner. He is a country-bomkin. Now I've just looked up and there's a guy wearing a plaid shirt sat next to you He's not cheering on a piece of straw when he may as well be Is this the fellow? Oh my goodness. It's great. We were very ready to get both of them together at the same time

So this is gonna be very exciting. Well my sighting all massively uncomfortable We'll see she is a super hip-hop lover. She says he is a country pumpkin He thinks we should meet in the middle in inverted commas and move to redding. No! I think you should live in my flat in Brixton. Where should we live? Ben and Angela, you are on Hannah's side. Tom and Alex, you are on the side of the country-bunking who is here now, so we've got to get a name. Bunking, what's your name? Mark. Mark.

Classic country name. Or I'm a Mark. Or I'm a Mark. There'd be a storm of community. LAUGHTER So we've got time for a cross-examination. Let's ask them some questions. Are you happy together?

LAUGHTER Oh! I mean, prior to today. Yeah. How long have you been together? Oh! I mean, prior to today, I was... How long have you been together? Three and a half years. Whoa! Okay! The cracks are beginning to show that...

Why don't you live at the moment in redding? No, I live the other side of... I swim to them. What? I'm going to farm a bee you. Mark. I actually live there because I'm in the military. You farma national security.

Okay, so you're in a military, a military man, you travel around a lot though. Yeah. So why can't you just travel to Brixton for a bit? Sorry, that was actually conjecture. Sorry, that was... I love it, mate. Can I ask that that's tricking from the ring?

I always say. It's been tricking from my memory. What part of the military are you in? I'm in the Air Force. Yaaar. He farms the sky. The cloud's a risk fields. And bombs be his seed.

Yeah. Broke your on markside. You only question three in the Hannah or Mark? Yeah, like basically, you just don't want to live a verdict. And you know, and it's like, you know when, like, are you doing nothing where, when you don't want to do something, but you try and meet them halfway, but do you deliberately offer a shittle turn? It's like a very compelling argument, actually, yeah.

Between our sleds, like, military leds. Yeah. That was like military loads. Yeah Military fellow Is that what you're doing you give me a crap all turn You can do whatever you want. No, can't you though? It's not like your works in bricks and is it though? You don't have to do anything there No, do you You are you are you are definitely well, we'll let you we'll let you begin now Oh, I guess if you work in the military you you see a lot of action around the world the last place you want to come home to for a bit

It's Brixton right Yeah, you want the fields of ready. I Wish to guard you and stop talking of ready. I wish to God you would stop talking about it. Seems a little harsh, but I'll keep it a second. I think you've got enough information from Hannah and Mark here. I'm going to call the ball of Angela Barnes. You're going to make the case for the prosecution. You have exactly one minute and your time begins now. OK, I'm no jogger for, but I'm pretty sure

Redding is not halfway between Brixton and Swindon. Redding is pretty much Swindon. And is it the roundabouts? Is that... Brixton has roundabouts. Oh, hello. We're going to be on the 25. God, you're boring, aren't you? Oh.

That is conjecture, carry on with you. You're not allowed to be your brother. No, I know it's in the Air Force and that's really hot on everything, but you could be in the Air Force, but if you live in Swindon, that negates it. If you're going to meet your halfway between Brixton and Swindon, that's got to be what? Heathrow? He's in the air force. I'm just trying to... 5 seconds later. That's the post-wild, you're within the M25, but you still got aeroplanes. That is your time. My favourite sub-acitance.

You're within the M25s, we still got aeroplanes. So deal with that, you have exactly one minute, no, remember, you are on Mark's side. Massively. All right. So deal with that you have exactly one minute no remember you are on mark side massively all right First I was taking this seriously. I love it Okay, brother your minute begins now. Well, man. I think she's bang out of order First things first living with them is an order. I get married into a week's time looking for a took it's complete bullshit I only did it for the stag though, I'm depressed.

You don't get as much sex, it's not spontaneous, it's the same stuff every night. And if you move to Brixton, I used to do business studies at school and it doesn't make business sense. If it's work, it's an in London, why would he pay London prices? Come on, give the guy a break! He's flying around, he's serving his country, and also I swear, I don't know if you've looked at him,

but he fucking clean up on Tinder. He's a good looking guy, he's in the air for us, I've got mates who are ugly, and they're getting up three or four thirds a week. I mean women, sorry I'm not that low. Yeah, no, I think, I think, mate, honestly, you tell her, and then you say, if I think you're worth it, I'll leave that for you, pal. Oh, test the fight. Oh, yeah.

Well, you imagine me both slightly sexist and slightly touching in the same minute. The person. The person. I'll chat very quickly to Hannah and Mark. How do you think the case is going so far? Mark, let's start with you. I've got a great team, I'm sorry.

You've got a great team. Yeah, you really have. It's like missing limbs, but I'm on it up there. Hannah, how do you think the art is going? I think I might be moving to Reading. No! Well, Hannah, strap it in there. There is still everything to play for Clarky.

Remember, you are on Hannah's side, you can sum up the case for the prosecution. You're a minute begins now. Well, it's difficult to sum it up because... I don't know what the hell... You weren't listening. You weren't listening. It's really... And also... I mean, and also Alex was very good.

But I will say this, I lived in Brixton. Genuinely lived in Brixton. You're not lying. No, it's not a brag. Genuinely did. And I'll tell you what, as the state agent said, it's very vibrant. It's really very vibrant.

Also, I mean, if you love herbs, you're going to love Brixton. It's got a great cinema. Also, I've been to Reading, Shell. It's a fucking shithole. And I come from all the Hampton. I mean we wrote the book on shitholes. Okay, that is your tie.

That is your tie. Strong from class. Strong work all round, I think so far. So Tom, you have to conclude the case for the defense now We'll be doing it as yourself. No, I'm gonna be doing it in the style of I'm gonna be doing it in the style of a deep south John Grisham lawyer Mr. Fan Shaw standard fan Shaw standard presiding and indeed providing your minutes, if he did, I was timing this.

Starts now. I think I, ladies and gentlemen, after chewy. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking at you now. I'm a lot like you. Been said here, been confused. We've all those big words they've been using up there today. Hell, I don't know much about no reading.

I'm no fan of reading. I ain't never put no bricks on nobody. Except my house, building myself. Feels like a few deeds being talked about today. Folks from dim dim city now say dim better than us folks. Hell smell as a soil. Corn. Corn in our hands. Now I'm going to tell you something now and I'm not proud. If it's emerging we don't want to get it. You know what I'm going to say? You ain't never felt no more than a man. And when you take that there dump there on the hillside.

Fresh air on your cheeks. Smell of the dirt with the dirt. Ain't no clinical toilet shit. Ha ha ha ha. Hell no. Quite clinical toilet shit, you mean a toilet, right? We men of the earth, we ladies of defan. Those folks there from the big city

they come down here, they tell us to wipe. Ain't no wiping in damn damn Bible? Just you never did that damn damn wipe. Moves is they do no wipe. If he took the wipe, he used tablets, stone tablets. We be simple for around here. We be exodus. We be shittin' in the woods. No further questions, Johan. Oh, that sure is standard for providing and presiding skills. I mean, one thing with a stone tubblet is really part in the red sea. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

So, this has been a shocker, but we have heard some pretty compelling arguments in previous episodes, not this week. Today's been a boring... LAUGHTER I wouldn't want to say it myself, but that is very, very lucky, because I'm putting it in the hands of our lovely Phoenix audience. If you think Andrew and Ben and therefore Hannah is in the right applaud now. But if you think Alex, Fan Shore and Country Bunkin mark has won the day, then applaud now.

and Country Bunkin, Mark, has won the day then aboard now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yay! I think, I think, Hannah may have just nudged in. Oh! CHEERING Oh! I think, Hannah, I'm a Mark. You moved to Brixton. How'd you feel about it?

Outwaged. LAUGHTER It's actually not that bad. I think it's a draw and they're moving to slow. I will take that compromise. I'll give a point to each team. But you're both lost. So finally we arrive at the start of our quick far round or as regularist as called it the halfway mark.

Let's hear the drink, go! This is the quick fire round It's the round that goes really quickly We usually do this jamegold, using Ben's guitar, but we forgot to leave. Who left his guitar in my house, and we can't be bothered to get it. So as you can hear, Ben is feeling it. He usually contributes with some rising. But he can do that. Because he's doing it. Because you do, Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, So of course in this quick far round all the questions will be neighbour based so Tom and Alex let's hear your buzzers they're here And I found a bottle. This is our worst butchering goal ever. Let's get on with the quick fire. Ro... Ro...

Wow! Yes! Of course! Oh, my God! So the quick far-run, of course, are all the questions we've been neighbour-based, to Tom and Alex, that's here, your buzzards. Ben and Angela, that's here, yours! Okay, off we go!

If you win the lottery, why is the best way to make all your neighbours really rich too? Give them some of the money that you've won from the lottery. No, but it's actually moved to a really expensive neighbourhood. What, where? Oh, that's really good. When is a vigilante group of residents like a timepiece shared between many people? T.O.M.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.N.A.piece shared between many people. Tom, a neighborhood walk.

It's a neighborhood walk, yes! Oh my goodness, it's punk back there. It's pretty much a park, yes. Welcome to the show. According to the song, what does everybody need? Angela. Somebody. Oh no, it's a neighbor's base to round, so...

Good neighbors, I'm sorry! Ah, it is good neighbors, I'll give you a half point to talk to you I'll call you to the song what is a friendly way of each morning help to make Tom the perfect day No, it's a better day to point to the party I've gone into the song how far away is next door Bonsi, push step away Jesus, you'll watch the love now

According to the song what happens when the neighbours are there for one another? That's when good neighbours become good friends. According to the song, I like big butts and... I cannot dance. If Ed Miliband lives next door, what do you have? A Boston neighbourhood. No, it's a Labour neighbour. What do you get if you have Obi-Wan, can Obi-Wan, living next door?

Oh, no! I've got it! It's a Jedi. No, a nice saver, D. I might say the neighbour. What do you have if you have a horse and a sheep living next door? Yes. A neighbour. A neighbour, neighbour.

What do you have if you have a famous publishing house living next door? Tom, a favourite neighbour. A favourite favourite neighbour, yes. I was going to say Penguin, isn't it? What do you get if you have Andre 3000 living next door? No, Tom, a neighbour who's been outcast? No, no one a neighbour who's been outcast? No, no one has a neighbour. Hey, your neighbour! What do you have if you have the Highland Games living next door?

I can't have a neighbour, but he gives it! What do you have if you have David Albon living next door? Tom, like a guy who you like, you really love his music, but it interviews it comes across like a prick What do you get if you have the break out star of Jeremy McGuire living next door? I'm gonna give it I'm gonna give it to Perry a name of good Perry. A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior! Yeah! Woo! So, that was the time with those were our questions.

Before we hear the final scores, there's just time for you to squeeze in any plugs. Bansy, do you have anything you would like to plug? This is going to go out at the top of next year. Yeah, check my website and ask all of you to go to UK. I plug this episode of our podcast as the best podcast really bad? Guys, anyone listening please do listen to the podcast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Turn that game. LAUGHTER Oh, my god! LAUGHTER

Rucker, anything in the pipeline? Last leg back in January. Oh, fantastic. Of course, you're going to see any of our gigs, Papi'sCovid.com, produce a bet. Let us hear those final points. It's very close. Oh, I love it.

Everyone wins. That's all I want you to say to it. That's all I want you to say to it. So round one, Tom and Alex were ahead by half a point. Yeah, there you go. Round two, Tom and Alex were ahead by half a point. Yeah, there you go. Round two, Tom and Alex were ahead by half a point. Break it down. Round three.

Tom and Alex were ahead by half a point. Stretch it out. Tom and Alex have to pop rounds in the neighbours for hours of genius, sport, rock, plaster, bandsie and Ian's cocky get hang out with every little rest of the evening, so pretty much the same thing. Thanks very much to our guest Alex Brooker! Andrew Barnes! We have been Pappies!

See you and you and you and you and you next time on... LATCHES! LATCHES! OOOOOO! LATCHES! Happy Splash, yes, have down featured Matthew Rosley, Ben Park and Tom Marry, with special guest, Andrew Barnes. Black Death Star! We're a grown and James, hey, slow for helping out. To Orange Park and British Community Guide into the Phoenix Park having a happy franchise land out it's a first production for the British Community Guide

and the internet. Cheers everyone! Bye! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, But I got you picked. Ha-ha. But I don't know what to do with those tall salads and scrambled eggs. Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier. Life's calling again. New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.