Pappy's Flatshare - Series 6, Episode 4 (Flatpack Furniture)

Episode Date: April 1, 2016

Matt Forde and Marcel Lucont are on hand to help and/or hinder the assembly of a load of Flatpack Furniture. Also... Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin live on through our panellists mouths, we get all sexy as the panel re-enact some booty calls and then cool down again just in time to help an audience member with an infestation of pimps. Do evangelise about Flatshare Slamdown to anyone and everyone you meet - coming out on the first day of every month throughout 2016. Thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's for, and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See you at our details. Tom, Ben, I'm home. Matthew, you'll be so proud of us. No need for a flat- flat share slam down this week. We did exactly as you said. We got a load of oats and honey and put them together. I asked you to assemble the flat pack.

We thought you said... I know. Assemble the flat jack. No. We thought you said get a load of oats and honey and put them together. You really need to enunciate more. Look, one of you needs to assemble this flat pack. It's not going to be me. I've got low shelf for steam. And it's not going to be me.

I've got no IKEA how to do it. Well, as only one way to settle this, we're going to have to have a... Flash it's not now! Flash it's not now! Flash it's not now! Flash it's not Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I say Flashest, I You can stand out in the crowd, but someone picked you from the birth of one glass was on it too And now it's much too late for me to take a second look Oh baby give me one more chance to show you that I love you Won't you please let me eat back in your heart Oh darling now was blind to let you go, let you go baby Now I see you in this arc I want flat back back Yes sir do now I want a flat, ooh baby

I want flat back yeah yeah yeah yeah I want flat back No no no no no, try and live with that I'm not so mad Lord, Matthew cross me in the dark I'm not my root, it'll be falling by rules Best be the tenors Tom Barry and Ben Flaur Hey So Tom why are you giving me back chat about something the flat back? I'm in my rules. There's me, the tenor's Tom Barry and Ben Clark. Yay! So Tom, why are you giving me back chat about something that's flat back?

I am not going to do any flat back, and I'll tell you why. It's because of a terrible incident. I was trying to put up furniture with my good friend and incompetent Spanish waiter. And I was trying to work out what part goes into which, but I was distracted. I was distracted to work out what part goes into which, but I was distracted. I was distracted because the night before I'd seen renowned actors at Ian McKenna.

Attack! Mr Connery, I first ever bond in the street, punched him right around the head. I'd like you to the story ended there, that'd be great of a... That'd be just a good show, you know. He's friends with the incompet, Spanish waiter, he said, Mr. Pary, why you're not put up the flat back? And I said, I'm confused by the Ian Strucciorn man-well. LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE You know, you can't grow, because you're first. I mean, the first thing you thing is to laugh, yeah. Ben, what's the big eye care with you? Well, Matthew, I'm not going to do it because back in the day I was actually a removal man to the stars and I was removing furniture from a famous comic actor and singers house and I thought it all done and then suddenly it was like oh we left this my head garment storage unit head garment storage yeah I didn't say this in your news and and and all I've got left to carry in is this bag that you throw up your shoulder.

In other words, I had to flap up Jack Black's hat rack into a backpack and it gave me a bad back. I obviously, as the instructions suggest, you can't do this job on your own. So who if you brought along your Allen keys this week, Tom? Who if you got with? Well, terrible news everyone, the Jamborees in danger. Oh no! Yeah!

We had this big vote last week. What's the best Jamboree in town? We came rock bottom in the polls. And we're the only Jamboree in town. Oh, come on. I've had to hire a new spin doctor. Someone who's going to come in, excite the electorate,

get them back into the Jamboree. It's the most political man I know in the world. My brother from another mother, Mr Matt Ford! Matt Ford is here! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, Fordy. How are you doing? Very good. Lovely to have you on the show.

I think Tom Ford is absolutely the right candidate for this campaign. The spin begins already. I just think a lot of the rumours that you've heard have been wildly inaccurate. He is funny. So what kind of a flatmate are you? I'm a good flatmate. Yeah. I'm a good flatmate. I'd love to live with Fjordy.

Aren't we live together? No, it feels like we have better than that. It does. And, Clark, here you are brought with you this week. I have bought my high energy hype man, Mr Marcel Luconc! Marcel Luconc! Now Marcel, are you a flat mate? No, I live alone. Any good stories about that? Marcel, are you a flat mate? No, I live alone.

Any good stories about that? No, it's just how I will die, so... I have to break it to you, but that's the case for everybody here. Right, well... Do you ever have guests over to keep the place nice, to keep it neat. Oh sure. Yeah, keep it neat from a guest Great chat Marcel Generally thrown by the fact he hasn't stopped staring at me He needs explain the flat pack needs oh flat pack I was not briefed about any of this

Oh, flat pack. I was not briefed about the word in any of these. I did not expect any of the last ten minutes. Flat? Is that a furniture in France carved out of trees? Yeah, it was, that's what it is. Yes. I didn't phrase that right, I don't know. They're not phrase that right.

So flat pack furniture is furniture that you buy and you assemble yourself. Why? Because you just get through the door that way. If you want to get a wardrobe into your house and you've got a small door, like I have. It's a good question. Why is there flat back furniture? What is the point of it?

The key of this. Why are any of us here to know? Do not pull that thread. Use whole show alone. We're all going to die alone. You sound like our iTunes comments. Like we have better guests, so let's flat back our troubles in our old kitbag and smile, smile, smile as we play.

Round one! Take Part E Attach the midpoint To frame G Take Pan-o-B Attach the end point Two frames, see, frames, see

I touch frames, see, I'm parallel Align the backbone, two shelf-jay Lift pot, be, pull it through, secure it firmly, wear the screw, wear the screw. Take pot K and slide it under, fit it with a metal run, a screw it in from underside to in G-Stie, pan 15 wife, take the second largest bowl, send it through the pre-gain hole 15A and 15D should tighten with an A-learn key Then sit down and look at it, go to the Lou and have a sheet Bricks a wine put on a hat and smash it with a prispaul bat Smash it smash it really hard, take it out into the yard It's been lit up into a pie, I sent a fucking thing on fire

I got to run your body in fire! So Marcel, is it clear what flat pack is now? I feel only more questions have been raised now. Which I feel will remain unanswered. No, you'll never know, you'll never know the answer. Round one, this week is called a flat pack, rat pack. Each player is going to be given a famous rat pack song and they have to improvise new lyrics which

describe a piece of furniture. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. Their teammate has to guess what the furniture is with points also awarded for style, swing, cookiness, and functional alcoholism. So it's good for clarky. And you could start first, in fact, so here we go. Here we go. You are going to be singing Fly Me to the Moon

and Marcel is going to have to guess what piece of furniture you are singing about. Clarky, yeah. Let's go. This might be a bit random, but it starts with the drumbeat, so I can tell Ben that his first note is... Mmm. Producer Ben, everyone! APPLAUSE The human piano forte.

APPLAUSE I know, you missed it now. That's not my like, a bit sharp, but it's fine. Ooh. It's not like Glocky to be sharp on this show. LAUGHTER Do not psych him out. It's fine. Ooh! It's not like Clarky to be sharp on this show. Oh! Do not psych him out.

Just take that as good natured rap pack style ribbing. Okay? Well, thank you. Okay, sorry. I'll think you might have had a point now, she's talking about that. Clarky, here's your song, here's your back of the track, off you go. In my spare room there is a piece of furniture You can lie on it, or you can sit on it also It's all that's also The words, it's like she's dead She's in all the words, she's come

It's like a chance A chance It's so far in between If you have guests So far they're very good It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad.

It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad.

It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad.

It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's like real. Now, next up is Matt Ford, who is going to be singing My Way. Oh. Oh, what the f- About a certain piece of furniture. Oh, it's not going to get dry in the house. Off you go. Four bars in. Four bars in.

Chul. Don't know what that is. And now, my guests are here And so they sit at this piece of furniture So twice, maybe fourth of thrice, if they're out of order. I really have never heard of what this was before this evening. But Tom, it's a kind of table. I can't help you. I'm getting one of them. What are you doing?

Do you have any idea what kind of table is? Is it an occasional table? It is an occasional table! I am going to give, of course, the point to parry there for guessing it. And I think putting the word Thrice in there is going to have three points from that board. Fourth or Thrice if they're out of order. Tom, it's your turn now. And you're going to be singing Dean Martin's classic, that's a moray! About a certain piece of furniture.

Any notes we need before we start? Something to be about. Okay, so get John T. Thomas Barry. Always John T. Off you go. At the end of the day you put your clothes away What's wrong with this piece? Yes, you're right man But there's more one, two, three, one more door that makes how many bands? Three to one, right? No, no. 4-2-1, try it. And there is more, 4, there's more, there's one draw.

There's another. So fill it with your clothes for your sister or for your brother. No. I'm not gushed here. Look at that, you're there. 4-2-1, try it. Yeah, but 4-2-1, try it. How many doors? I'm not guestier, you're there, you're there. A water. Yeah, but a fine dog.

A fine dog. How many doors? Five and one. This is just... Pay attention, please. I'm giving it all I can give you. Oh! One, two, three, then one ball.

What does that make it? Oh, door, wardrobe. I can't say. But there's more, not one draw, one more. So that makes it a fine, no, five draw. So four, two, three, four, two, three, four, wardrobe. And there's men. Since the wardrobe. I am good at... Four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, I'm going to give you half a point for guessing that, but I'm going to give Tom the full three points there for an absolutely beautiful red dish in it. And finally, Marcel, now obviously the rap pack weren't the homegrown talent of France, so instead we've given you Charles Asnerbors' she to sing.

And you're singing it about this piece of furniture. Sure, I will stick to the original brief if that's okay. I will do in the style of Sammy Debet, Jr. Oh! Is it a David? Yes, can we move on? I'm afraid you have to sing the song. Okay, it's got it, David. Okay, it's got to take it.

It's the perfect place to carry out A romantic liaison The French word for we do it is of course Le frère est le cas, mais il ne fait pas le temps. down on this but your parents will frown at this because bestiality is not the way we should be It's quite marginal You find it in your room If you're a fake room

You can lay your bride down On this she won't frown At the crushed phasor beneath If she really says that she loves you A king size bed Ben imagine a king size bed with a roof in truth Captain bed You can just make up styles of bed Reach inside your head A full place to bed

Not said It's a full poster bed I tell you what I E-revision song and free is nowhere near as good as that was that was absolutely That was very touching. That was very, very moving, especially when Ben shouted out his nickname, Captain Ben. Did Ben... Did you mean Captain Ben? I mean, Captain Ben. I mean, Captain Ben.

But Marcel, that was absolutely beautiful. I'm going to get Marcel at five points for the song there. Okay. And a half points to Ben, just about guessing it after a lot of health. So at the end of that round, producer Ben, what are the scores? Tom and Matt have got seven and a half, Ben and Marcelle have got nine and a half. Oh! Nice.

Re-count. So Ben and Marcelle are out with us, but which team will get to spend all night screwing? Well, we'll be one step closer to finding out what's we played round to. It's flat games! Oh! Games! Let's make it together! Games! Let's make forever!

Roll the dice spin that thing! Put that down! Do you toll? Games! Just get loose you can, nothing! Games! If you win you can, go! Ready, go!

Go! Go! Yes! Listen! Go! Go! it's a movement, it's a movement, phone gold! Yes! And you're in happy massive! You didn't believe me! Oh yes! I'm going to eat my hat on my head. Yes! Is this supposed to happen? I really shouldn't at our age. I was grass, that is a grass roots movement, that is.

Right, let's treat it around. Okay. Each week in flat games we take a popular game and give it a cheeky little twist, just enough to avoid being sued by the inventors of the original game, but not quite enough to make it actually fun. This week we're playing our take on the popular video game called Duty. It's called a booty. Each team... Each team is...

I think our audience got pan fatigue. Each team member is given the name of a celebrity, then they have to pretend to be that celebrity, making a sexy booty call to their teammate who will be playing another celebrity. What? This is a sexy episode. Yeah celebrity. She's a sexy episode. Yeah, it's a really sexy episode. I was so sexy.

I know. Apart from that lady, I can't. Yeah. Billy, that top's back on, guys. Come on. Now, obviously, need the player knows who their teammates pretend to be. So the object of the game is to give clues to your opponent throughout your sexy chat. Do you get bonus marks if you give clues to your opponent throughout your sexy chat.

Do you get bonus marks if you give them a bonus? Sure! No bonus marks. Okay, so Tom, that's yours, Matt, that is yours. I fucking love stuff like this. So, Tom... A very excited about this, aren't you? Fuck you, don't want it.

I'm going to... Alright, that was fine. I've got to go method. Don't go method on this please. So guys, off you go. I want you to rise to gently over 30 minutes. Oh. Oh. Oh.

You're going to get my bulletin on the hour. Oh. Oh. oh. You're gonna get my bulletin on the hour. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You're gonna love it. You don't need my help, you're gonna be self-raising, don't you? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I've filled you with the ad break and then I talk about sport for a bit. Is that just your house. I want you to touch my soggy bottom.

Oh, yes. Man, I'm just going to write you some fucking headlines. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, stick. Oh, I'm going to stick. Can you, can you, can you? You're not going to... You're not going to... You're not going to stick. Mr. Kaycon you did. You did it. You did it. No, it was just getting good. Okay, cover me in your icing. Do you have any idea who the other is supposed to be?

I don't care anymore. This is doing. This is me and personal getting this over with. I think I know who this is. Who do you think it is? Nigella Lawson. It is not Nigella Lawson. It's not Nigella. Fucking pricties.

Are you Trevor McDonald? Oh, no. You are so close, I'll give you a couple more lines and see if you can get it. You're dangerously close. I have. OK. I have to get it.

I have to get it. I have to get it. I have to get it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. You're good. You're good. Yeah. Are you wearing a Uniadjoc pants that I want you to great British take off? Oh! Oh! That's good.

No, I'm wearing Luminous socks, and I think I'm in the latter stage as dementia. I'm starting to make clearx and I think I'm in the latter stage as dementia. I'm starting to get a clear clue as to who he was. Okay, any idea? Tom and Max, who are you? Who are you on Reponent? Weirdly, that's what gets me off. Yeah. So, until I hear about dementia, that's what I'm gonna finish.

I breached it the latter stages. Um, we're saying Tom, do you think Faudi was supposed to be? No, no. No, for no sugar. Silly socks and this fucking... Jon Snow? He was Jon Snow. Yeah, I'm gonna give you a half a point for that.

Faudi, who was Tom? Mary Berry. It was Ben Berry! Yes! So I think there's one point there to Tom and half point there to Matt. Ben, all of that for one and a half point. No, it's not worth it. It's not worth it.

And you know what the point's been? Nothing. So Marcel and Ben, your turn now. Your some ebbs off you go. Oh. Oh. This is going gonna be quick. Ugh.

Ugh. Fuck you, we started, mate. Yeah. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I'm gonna be able to get that in under 10 seconds. Ugh.

Ugh. Ugh. I need only one life. Ugh. One life. You've got to do what you should. You have got me bolt up right. You're driving me... you're saying. Oh no!

Oh no! Oh! Oh! Oh no, you didn't. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!

Oh no! Keep going. I still have not found what I'm looking for. Oh! You know, I can do this with all of the time. Oh! Oh! You know, I can do this with all of the time. I still have not found what I am looking for. You know, I can do this with or without you. Are you a baller? Yes. Are you sprinting to the finish with your baller?

You've shot my ball today. the finish line. Yeah. Sin. Oh. I should have met Bode. Oh. That was happening. That was an accurate. They both said their actual names during the round. Yeah, I think that's OK. No, I think we enjoyed that so much. I'm going to give them a point of each.

That was fantastic. You know, if 50 Shades of Grey started as like online fan fiction, that's right, yeah. It's one. In five years' time, that round may be a Hollywood film. And I may take this, someone out there in podcast land, will jerk off to that round. Maybe Bonoim Sid. He's always close to the edge. Oh!

Oh, superb. Superb work from Marcel, man. always close to the edge. Oh! Oh! Oh, superb, superb work from our sell, man. What are these goals at the end of that round, producer Ben? Well, Tom and Matt have got nine, but Ben and Marcel have got eleven and a half! Bullshit! It's far, and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything, so no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats,

but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See you at for details. Oh, well, after that red-body tech party,

let's go for some red meat legality. It's beef brothers. Oh, well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a beef, if you've got a problem, I'll call it a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you Be from the sorting and your beef. Yes, it's beef brothers, where each week we ask our

panels to sort out a flat-share beef. And this one comes from someone in the audience. Rob, are you there? Yeah. OK, I'm going to read out your problem. My housemate got his friends over and ordered some prostitutes. Jesus! Yeah, incredible!

This is going to be a hard one to defend. My other housemate called me saying there are pips in the garden and they won't leave. And by the way, I love your final sentence. This is your big problem. I'm now worried about my deposit. So Rob, your housemate's not here, is he? No, he's not here. That's good, OK. So Tom and Faudi, you're going to be on Rob's side, Ben with Marcel. You're going to be on the side of the housemate, after name him. Can you give him a fake name?

Mark. What's his real name? It's pretty close. It's pretty close. It's pretty close. Yeah, it's like Martin or something like that. Yeah, it's something like that. It's something like Martin, yeah.

It's something like that, okay. So you're on Mark's side, but before we begin to ensure he was informed as possible, there is just time for a cross examination. Does anyone have any questions for Rob about this? We all do, don't we? Yeah. How long have you been living with Mark? About a year?

Is this the first time he has ordered prostitutes? Yes, the first time is for us, don't we? How did he order them? No, wait, no, the prostitutes just do stop talking! Information for yourself, Matt! Which company did he use? Through his mate Ben oh Allow okay, hold on

Okay, hold on everyone First of all is not me second of all I've got cards if anyone's interested How many pimps were in the garden? Two how did you know there were pimps? Just out of interest because I when I think of pimps, I sort of think of by the enormous purple long rimmed hat. The pink hot feather. Also, how large were these pimps?

They were very large, apparently. I didn't meet them myself. Because all pimps are pimples. Yeah. Pimple your nails. How large were the prostitutes? How large is your garden? I'm thinking there could be a prospective issue that could have been very well dressed norms. Was it a special occasion?

It was the boxing. May we have a pack of out? Yeah. The boxing's on. So we're going to order some prostitutes, right? If it didn't start to fall in the morning. Did someone get confused and think they were all doing peaters? Is that what it's got to be?

The boxing had finished, apparently. You were away. Those are my girlfriends. I got a cool saying that the pimps were still there. Pfft. Pfft. About nine. Rob, the pimps are still here. Look at him now. Oh no Rob. Oh no.

So did Mark call you up to say I've made a mistake and there are pimps in our garden? No, I've made a terrible mistake. No he's never said that. No my other housemate called me up to say you know what to do because he's so good up-shopping. What do you do with Pips in your garden? I can't just shoe them away. Exactly, yes. Yes, I have an opinion. It's not your malt.

Can I leave little mounds on the lawn? They're actually surprisingly common. What you think is fox is fucking, actually. Usually a pimple fight. Mae'r ffog sy'n ffog sy'n ffog i'n tewn i'n yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw security and the the well-being of his flatmate by indulging in an illegal act not only did he debate society by praying upon women who were arguably trafficked from abroad. People money into their hands of people that not only wish it against those want to bring down the entire security of the UK that money. In law likelihood ended up in ISIS hands. This is part of a big picture.

This is putting money into the hands of organized crime, who are not only debates women in the UK, the debates women across the world, but it beats Anne and when I do it, and I urge all of you to find this despicable man who put out good friend in danger, guilty. Ted, take a fact. CHEERING

I mean, I can't stress it enough, because I'm fucking awesome. APPLAUSE I mean, I can't stress it enough because I fucking asshole. Thank you Matt Ford now to open the case for the defense. Marcel, you're made of begins now. Sure, this man clearly is innocent who amongst all of us, if we are honest, who has not just witnessed too many beating the living shit out of each other in a ring. Which is for some female company. After the event to beat the shit out of us in our ring. It's to their own, it's to their own.

This man, I would argue with Monsieur Furt, is in fact boosting the economy of Britain, which your conservative government surely would agree with. And what is more next week, I believe, a bill to be passed in your parliament to release the ban on pin-punting. LAUGHTER So we will find that is not a long or a problem.

And that is your time. Marcel Lecotte there. CHEERING So, Rob, before we move on to the second prosecution in defense, how do you think it's going so far? It's a pretty strong defense, I have to say. You're coming out to it now, aren't you? So Tom, are you gonna be doing this now to you on Rob's ID?

You're doing it yourself this week? No, I'm gonna be doing the style of my John Grisham Deep South defense lawyer. Yes, Mr. Fanchor's... Mr. Fanchor's candid, presiding in the deep providing, your time begins now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury We've been said here tonight. We've been listening to some of them big words

Lars been banding around Pugelist Prostitution Pimpacles what do these words mean? Now we hear we be simple-fold Rekina, some of you right there John and Lorna, damn married last year Little child on the way

That's the language do we know we know the language you love Yeah, you these church your honor and I don't mind telling you We've known the language you love. Hell yeah, Gildier's church, Your Honor. Hell I don't mind telling you. Yeezer go back into past. Past the bar, first night out of celebrate. Go down a new Orleans. Drink a bottle of that lad, local liquor. Maybe get a bit merry.

Call me standing, not coming home tonight. Now I did not use a prostitute. Did you know that? I mean, sure you can engage in conversation, but I did not use a prostitute. It sounds like it's standing and more like Clinton. I did not use a prostitute. You know, you're not on trial standard. We give one life, ladies and gentlemen. Go live it. The defense rests your

mind. Man sure standing, presiding and providing. All that remains is for a men's clock, you can clue the case for the defence. Your time starts now. Well, first of all, your pal, Snoop Dogg. I don't see the problem. I don't know what the big deal is. Wait, wait, wait! Stop, that's important. Hey, is it worth it?

No, no, no. Stops. That's important. Hey, is it important? Thank you. Not me. He has no friends. This is like the last bit of my cousin Vinnie when Marissa to make comes in and gives all the evidence from the mechanics. He's got a girlfriend. Case closed. I mean, yeah, that's case closed, isn't it? We're not even going to do a vote here.

But that's bad, that's bad, Egorie, isn't it? Hang on, is the girlfriend one of the prostitutes? Oh, that one make it okay. No, it doesn't. That is hang on is the girlfriend one of the prostitutes. Oh That one make it okay. No it doesn't. It does not make it. Ben you have a further 45 seconds but you might want to use that extra evidence. I'll never say it again. It's the summertime. Wait is that your argument?

Yes, wait it's the summertime. Get outside. Get on the patio. Yeah. The weather's lovely. The Get outside. I'm sorry. Get out on the patio. The weather's lovely. The decking. The decking exactly. I mean, guys.

It's pimps o'clock, right? Yeah. Sobs off everyone. That's the best that guy's ever been. Well, I'm going to... I always hear it being frozen. We throw in the argument to 120 angry men and women. That guy's ever been... Well, I'm gonna... I always hear it being brought to the argument to 120 angry men and women,

our live-freeness audience. So, if you think 40 and fan sure and therefore Rob is in the right, applaud now! What the fuck is this? So if you think Marcel and Ben and therefore Mark won the day, it's bought now. I don't think I can have viewers in audience anymore. It's a club mate. It's a problem with the flat-share slam down audience.

They love puns, more than they love morality. And that is a serious problem. Well, we are almost at the end of the first third of the show. There's still the quickfire round at a company in Jingle. Let's hear what Tom and Ben are going to waste our precious time with this week. This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly. In fact, you might say it's the Greek fire round Cause I am a Greek character

So let's get right on with the quick fire round please I can't waste time I mean that to the European Union I'm going to live with you I don't know how Greek people sound I have never been to Greece So let's get straight into the well here it comes Let's get straight on with the quick fire round round round round Hey, hey, hey, quick fire round Smashy's played

You have been to Wales, no, haven't you? Of course, in the quick fire round all the questions will be flat pack or furniture based So here are you If I round all the questions will be flat pack or furniture based. So here are your... Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo of offense. Yes, see, see what I am saying. Marcelo, come, it's easier than it looks. Shoot to the ear, you're a big eye. So here it is, let's get on with the quick five-year round. Aye, aye, aye!

There was nothing easier about that. Certainly not on the US. It was painful and I apologise Marcel, not the views of flat-chest slam down as a whole. So, Tom and Matt, let's hear your buzzers. And Marcel and Ben, let's hear yours. Okay, off we go. Why do you always find wolves in IKEA?

Ben, wolf pack? They hunt in flat packs, I'll give you that, yes. Which American football team are the best at assembling IKEA furniture? Thomas. Green Bay Flat Packers. Correct. Which handyman with a specialty in erecting furniture spends his day eating pellets and being chased around mazes by ghosts? Oh, it's not Pac-Man, Black Pac-Man, yes. Which rapper is useful for assembling furniture? Two of our friends, MC Hammer.

We know. Love that. Don't second-guess us, audience! Which Jordi actor and Bob Star could work alongside him? Jimmy Dale, point to the audience today. Which famous, old director is useful for tightening bolts? Judy Redjo! The audience are on fire! Which comedy double acts could also be useful for the same task?

Hansen Decky. Oh, I know! Which comedy double acts could also be useful for the same task? Hanson Decky. Oh my god! Hanson Decky, I'm going to give you a round of applause for Rentshire Saunders. Which star of Daddy Day camp is handy when it comes to assembling flat-pack furniture? As a msunder? Oh, that's good. No, he was not in it, though. That's, of course, screw bar good in junior.

If the guy who played Buzz Lightyear, and the guy who reads poems and won the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2009, started up a hard match. Alan Key, Alan Key, Tim Alan Key, Tim Alan and Tim Key. It would be Tim's hardwet store as an over the actual bitch. What do you call it when you assemble furniture on the stock market? That's that flag pack. Correct, Matt Ford! What do you call it when you assemble furniture out of a bag you wear on both shoulders?

Back, back, back! Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Blacks, hat, rack, and... Back, second, jack, black. What do you call it when you give a cheeky or impertinent response whilst assembling furniture? Back, Jack, flat, back. Back, Jack, flat, back is correct.

And the last one, which nearly popular podcast is also handy when it comes to putting together self-assembly furniture. Flat-patcher sand laminone. What? Get it yourself. Half a way to top it out. What's the name of that? It's the end of the quickfire round which means we have a winner.

But before we hear the final scores there's just time for plugs. It doesn't matter. Anything to plug? Oh, and crank it. Oh, tomorrow night. You're heading three years' time. Am I right? Plugs? Speak for yourself!

I've always had a hide for it. This is bullshit. Tomorrow night I'm interviewing Kelly Melone. Oh, fantastic. That's podcasted, I call the sports party. Oh, that's fantastic. For my boxing friend, Melone, you know, Kelly Melone. That should be interesting. Really nice. Marcel, anything you'd like to plug? Sure. Marcel, I can't even manage that, should be interested. Really nice.

Marcel, anything you'd like to blog? Sure, Marcel, you can't see a lot of things. A fantastic London wonder-ground. August, September. When is this going out? Pretty December. It'll be in series. Sure, I don't know. Thank you, thank you for coming.

When will the guy... Details of all our upcoming gigs have been found on our website, PackersGone.com, so producer Ben, let's hear the final points. Well, the audience have got two. Congratulations! That was a storming final round from Tom and Matt there, because Ben and Marcel are 13 and a half, Tom and Matt are 60! Yeah! What a... Sorry! And Matt Marcel gets a day with IKEA, where is... Tom and Paul, you get to drink a nice beer. Thanks to our guest Matt for the Marcel and the Gods.

Oh my Christ, Tom Tom! What a party! What a party! Let's play some more! Yes, that's Tom Tom! Yes, that's Tom Tom Tom! That's J.I.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T. That's it. J.O.T. That means that, Shesland now be just a match to the club. You've been called to top, Pairo, especially against Matt. I thought it passed out of the club.

It was a surprise. My family took a huge event. I'm giving back to everyone. I've seen the authorities living in Pairo, so do the right thing. You can take time, ever, but helping out. To our infogger, the British comedy guy, and actually being called, grabbing out. Having a fresh air stand on it's a fun fact.

You've got the British comedy guy. And the other thing. fabric. So, having flashed that on is a fun question for the British Goldii Island. I need to get a little bit more. Jesus, everyone, bye! Cheers! It's fall. And you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no.

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