Pappy's Flatshare - Series 6, Episode 7 (Make The Bed)

Episode Date: July 1, 2016

John Robins and Nish Kumar are on board for a very raucous episode by the end of which everyone has their tops off (and one person has their bottoms off too). Expect to encounter princesses, bread, effort juice and Tupac within. Do let the joyful news about Flatshare Slamdown be proclaimed from all the rooftops! i.e. please do tell all your friends about the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Tom Ben. What is it now, Matthew? I'm sick and tired of making the bed every morning. One of you two needs to do it. But it's your bed. Yes, technically I bought it, but we all sleep in it.

Maybe we should have our own beds. No, I get scared. And I get chilling and I get lonely exactly. It'll be crazy not to sleep in the same bed. Yep, there's nothing sadder than a 34-year-old virgin sleeping alone. And there's nothing happier than three of them sleeping together. Hooray! Right, well if you want to keep our little arrangement up then one of you need to start

making the bed. Well it's not going to be me, I couldn't give a sheet. And it's not going to be me, I've just shit myself. Let's start upon. No but it's true. Well there's only one way to settle this, we're going to have to have a... Flash is like no! Well, there's only one way to settle this. We're gonna have to have a... Flashes, love, now! Oh, we're the way! Flashes, love, now!

Flashes, love, now! Flashes, love, now! Hello and welcome to Flashes, love, now! The part show that says, Another head hangs lowly, Child is slowly taken And the violence causes silence Who are we must taken? But you see it's not me, it's not my family

Make your bed, make your bed They are fighting With their tanks and their bombs and their bombs And their pillowcases, make your bed, make your bed They are crying, or make your bed Make your bed, do make, do make Do make, do make, make your bed Make your bed, make your bed, make your bed, to bed, to bed, to bed, to bed, to bed, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'll be following my rules. Let's meet the tenants. It's Tom Perry and Benedict Clark And there is the reason why BBC 3 is not interested in this show

Rifts on the cranberries anyone As one of the reasons One of the many to Ben why do you shake your head when I say make your bed. Well, here's the other reason. LAUGHTER Come with up. Well, I'm not going to make the bed. I'm pretty bit about the whole thing, actually, because I had a TV show that I pitched about it, but it got ripped off, right?

Because I've written a show, and it was about this home economics teacher. Oh, I... The... LAUGHTER It finds out he's got a terminal illness. Oh yes, so. Turn money. Oh yeah, for his medical bills he becomes a maid at a hotel and that's the linen. It was called Making Bed. Oh my gosh! One dude applauding the most sarcastic applause I've ever heard. I think but

also it started as normal applause, even though no one else was joining him, just like, actually I didn't enjoy it. And that man was me. Tom, why do you wilt at the sight of a quilt? Oh my god, it's a terrible story. It's a terrible story, guys. I went to the Kaiser Chiefs in concert, and I got into an argument with my friend. I was watching them. I said, the thing about the Kaiser Chiefs is they all sleep under a bed spread

with a picture of that very tall woman, Hillary, from Dragon's Den on it. Right? He said, no, they don't. I said, they do. They sleep with a picture of that tall woman, Hillary from the dragon's dead on it. And he said, well ask someone else, let's settle this argument.

Next to me was this American pruner, who sings brilliant songs at Christmas time, Michael. I said, it's all right, I'll ask Michael. So I said, Michael, Michael, can you settle this argument for him? And I asked him the question, and he punched me in the face. Do you want to know how it saved it? Booble, do they do they do they do they? Oh!

Booble, do they do they do they do they? Oh! That is the sarcastic clad we're waiting for, thank you. I mean it's not, it's not bad. It's not good! If you give it a bit of time, it's actually pretty brilliant. I think Nisha's just cracked Tom's code of when he says it's not bad, he means it is bad.

That is... You need to do it. Bubble, do they do they do they do they! Oh! Bubble, do they do they do they? Oh! Bubble, do they do they? Oh! I think we found the reason why he didn't do it. I did a Michael Bubble pun

was my least ever successful tweet that I had the highest hopes for. What was it, what was it, what was it? Guess who's supporting Michael Bubble on tour this year? Michael Braley. LAUGHTER Did you delete it?

That's going to get a little heart shape from me, it really is. No, I didn't. I tweeted it again the next day in case people had missed it. LAUGHTER But obviously, we've already heard from them, but you can't make a bed on your own. You need someone to hold the other in the fitted sheet where you argue

whether or not you bought the right size. So Tom, who have you brought along with you this week? Well, ladies and gentlemen, there is a crisis at the Jamboree. Oh, no. Oh, do you? Yeah, we have to sack Jeremy Clarkson, because he tried to beat up someone.

LAUGHTER With a car. What I love... Anyway, I'm trying to beat up someone. With a car. What I love about that. Anyway, I've tried to beat up a car. I'm in a very topical this podcast. This is going to go in about November, 2016. Yeah, yeah, about that. Anyway, yeah. It's left the jamboree, sadly lacking in banter.

Oh, dear. Yeah. So I had to go out and find the best banter out there. Who's the guy you can bring the banter when we're up against it? Ladies and gentlemen, it's Mr. John Robbins! John, thank you so much for coming on the show. What kind of a flatmate are you? Being honest, I would say, with me, you get a double-edged coin. Okay, is that the expression? Generous!

Generous! It's a double-edged coin. No, it's a double-edged coin. Do you sharpen coins in the introduction of the Middle-Alarmites? Have you not been to prison? You need to carry a shift. This pound coin will have to do. So you sharpen one edge and not the other, and you put them between your fists,

and then you like sort of a makeshift Wolverine. But for as little as 50 pens. LAUGHTER 50 P's probably the best chords go for, isn't it? Well, or 5-10s, I was thinking, because otherwise it's 2 pounds 50 outlay, which in prison is a month's wages. Or an unjob. So on those smooth edge of the coin,

in most of the flats I've shared in, and I lived in share flats for about eight years, I took over the admin roles. Bill, are you one of them? I'm Billy Folders. Yes. So they call me. I've got lots of different folders. And I'll work out what everyone has to their direct evidence

into my account, the bills I go out of my account. And I dare say, if I've rounded up the payments, I may be left with a princely 3.25-a-bump profit with my troubles or once in a flat and bristle where I was really skinted about 50 quid. Oh no! So on the one hand you're really organised, on the other hand you steal. Yeah, that's kind of the double-edged coin we're talking about.

Well, I think you mean the princely, you should be a princely. So the second that does lead me on to the other edge of the coin, I do steal alcohol. If I'm late to home at night and my stocks have run dry, so I do have a very laissez-faire attitude to property if it's food and booze mainly. And money, money. And money. The big three. So, Clarke, who have you brought along with you this week? I have brought along my band member, the wonderful Mr. Nishkumar.

CHEERING Thank you so much for coming on the show. What kind of a flatmate are you? Well, Matthew, I'm very much two coming on the show. What kind of a flat mate are you? Well Matthew, I'm very much two sides of the same sword. Oh, he's happy with himself. He was very happy with himself. I have been sat there cooking that one for quite a long time.

Yeah, it's happy with the return. Yes, you better leave it. No one's called him up on the fact that a sword has two sides. But then we can do it now if you like. Yeah, I'll do it. Hey, Nish, you piece of shit. Whoa! Oh, I'm tired.

What? Well, yeah, every sword has got two sides, Nish, or it wouldn't be a sword. It would be a foil. Yes, it would be a foil. Are you idiot? Who knew Parry was such a sword connoisseur? My name's Parrymate.

For the list of our home, the tops are off. The tops are off. I normally lose control of the show around three, but this week, very, very early doors for losing control of the show. We've got a near naked Perry. That was better than a £250 hand show. So we've heard our contestants bedtime stories. It's time to play Rawaan. APPLAUSE

I just heard a creasing dream, I dreamt that I was a mountain stream, I got so long and that wasn't all, I started to dream, I wasn't wanna hold, then I dreamt I wasn't wanna hold, I think you know which way this goes, I got so upset when I woke up up the bed was when it needs cleaning up Oh my god, I've used your bed You should have been there rubber sheets instead Oh my god, yeah I'm in the fog You shouldn't have given me The top block Yeah Give the baby The top one! Yeah!

Tom, was that a song about pissing the bed? Yes. Okay, right? It's based on a true story about Ben Cameron when he was 20s 12. 12! Oh, mate! Oh! What's most disturbing about that is Tom is actually 10 years older than Ben.

No wonder you pissed the bed. So round one is called The Princess and the Peas. I'll be giving each contestant a series of words and phrases in which each word begins with Pea. For example, Paris Puny Penis. They have one minute to describe what... What? You could have used the word pubic. Oh, is he the worst? PUTREIT from what I'm getting. POPPable! PRETTY!

Pretty! Pretty! PRETTY PRETTY! Alright, Paris. Paris, pretty penis if you prefer. Perfect. They have one minute to describe these to your partner without using any of the words from the phrase, Paris, Paris, pretty penis if you prefer perfect. They have one minute to describe these to your partner without using any of the words from the phrase itself. It's all about my penis.

No, it's not about the penis. Although there is a twist in the game and in your penis. It's not twist, it's a kick. Either way, it hits the spot perfectly for me. The contestants giving the answers must do so whilst impersonating a famous princess, okay? So, Nish, here are your P words. You have one minute to get carguita guests as many as possible. And you're going to be impersonating Princess Anastasia of Russia, okay?

Oh, this is about to get very pea racist. Okay, so there are your pea words. Your minute begins now. Yeah, this is the thing that does. That's supposed to be two packs. I'll start the timer again, because I've got to get into character today, Shredder. Okay, you know, your minutes starts now.

Yes, this is a very nice thing that you use to make chips. You make chips out of it. It's very good. If you are having a celebration, you get a little plastic thing and you pull the string and some more string comes up. It's very good. This is a man who made a rule about the triangles. Pythagoras.

Yes, and the second name is a small dog. Pysos. No. Pythagoras is a young dog. Yes, Pythagoras is puppy. What the fuck is this shit? Okay, mom, it's not even a fucking idiot, Jesus Christ! The second word that you... there's a show of Tuesdays the day you put it.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, and the first word is if you have ingested a toxin, you can fat. Put some fucking. Yes, what the fuck out of, you know that? That's fucking better. LAUGHTER Four seconds. Inspector Closel was in these films. Poro. No!

Oh! Oh! We were of course only for Pink Panther's prank pickles there. So, you've got four points there. Four points to Nish. APPLAUSE Do you get any extra points for accents? You know what, I'm gonna give it a doctor point.

I'm gonna give it a no. I think out of five, and that was very good. I'm gonna give you... If you get hold it for the entire show, I'm gonna give you two points for that. So that was very, very good stuff there from Nish. John, we throw it over to you. You are Mary Crown Princess of Denmark

and your minute starts now. Oh mama! You gone roast this up with some potatoes as the trimming's for a Christmas dinner? Yeah brother, I sure will play it. You use this to make the first ever Bible. Maipa. Lord, no. The thing you use to put the ink on the Bible. Press, and painting correct. Someone who's at the top of the charts might be known as a prince. Oh, a pop star.

Correct. And what they wear and if they take up the trousers like some grease. Ah, oh, correct. Pop star's pants. Johnny's going a bit Bill Cosby That's not the first time he's heard that I spilled over my can of color in juice See the game ain't perfect Then I used to color the wall

Hey, Chris go time I'm afraid Time We're of course looking for a puddle of purple paper Three points there They're now used to color the wall. Hey, let's go time, I'm afraid. That is a time. We're of course looking for a puddle of purple paper. Three points there. And I don't know if you know that was absolutely uncanny as an impersonation. Four extra points, seven points to John. Tom, these are yours.

It's going to be a Disney Princess this time. You're going to be impersonating. But I think we'll throw it open to Clarky. Clarky, which Disney Princess would you like Tom to impersonate? Elsa. Princess Elsa from Frozen. Is she the psycho one on the pretty one? What? Wait a minute they're both cartoons, mate. What mate? They're both lit.

They're one scary fit right? Which means scary fit like she can freeze you know Well that one get rid of some of the walls So Elsa is the one who sings let it go. Oh really yes, okay your minute begins now. I am a very pretty poodle. Oh no, it's poodle. LAUGHTER OK. It also wasn't the gym today. Anyway, it's about that was terrible. If someone had walked in, as you said that,

that would have been absolutely petrified. Just five men on stage, two of them with no shirts on. One of them was just saying, I'm a very pretty poodle. And an audience, a pecking audience does not know what the fuck is going on. I'm going to start again. Your minute starts now. Poodle! I am the car that the big church guy drives. Poo-mo-beel.

Yes. I am an artist who draws, we use things, jet-a-pollars. Surreal, custom things, and I'm a nut that's easy to think that's like a little special.

Pustachio. No, no. It's called to be. Like, a snoopy would like me. Cachoon art. Snoopy! Peanut!

Yes! Oh, green. I am some sick in a glass that is quite big. You're punn of you. Yes. I am Spider-Man's. It's like an orange, but it's weird. So when I'm not Spider-Man, I'm a normal human being. And I've got, it's not an orange.

It's got lots of seeds in it. It's not my language. I know it's round and it's orange and it tastes like a little orange. A planet on it. Oh, Australians would like it because they call it a potato. It's like this. Poms. So it's a bit like that.

And also pomegranate. No, no. Pomegranate. That's your time, I'm afraid. That ain't pomegranate. Pena Park is pomegranate. No, no. I'm a granite. That's your time, I'm a pain. That ain't Bobby Granite. Peanut Parker's Pong to grab it. Oh, well. The tune never bothered him anyway. LAUGHTER How many can you get there, Tom?

One, two, three, four, seven, tea. No, give it four. We got four. You got four answers there, and that was a fantastic rid of you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to give you half a point. It's four and a half answers there and that was a fantastic ridden. Thank you. Let it go. Thank you I'm gonna give you half a point Four and a half points there to Tom man So then here are your piece again. We're gonna go with the Disney princess Tom Would you like to pick a Disney princess? Yeah, I'd like to go for Ponca Holtis, please

She's in a happy shop version version of Pokkontis. If you think the stink colours of the wind, is that the song she sings? Pokkontis colours of the wind. I mean, bear in mind he's version of Let It Go. You hit one note, he'll be enough. And bear in mind that he just called a Ponky Hote. So I'm not 100% sure he's a stickler for all fetists. Your time starts now. It is an Italian round tree.

Peter. Yeah. You look at it online a lot. Pornography. If you're in Peter Express, they come round and ask you if you want it on your Peter. Poot. LAUGHTER Parmesan. Parmesan.

No! Er... Or, under the dishes, under the restaurants. Parmesan, it is Parmesan. No, they wouldn't... I wouldn't ask you to put Parmesan on a pizza, man! In pizza Express. Yeah, they never...

Stop the clock! No! Ah! Let's talk about it, guys. Let's talk, never. Stop the clock. No. Ah! Let's talk about it, guys. Let's talk about it. Let's break it down. I mean, unless it's video, I don't know what the fuck it is, all right? Have they ever?

Not if you have a pasta dish. Yeah. Pepper. There you go. LAUGHTER Man, this is a trend where everyone's starting going nuts for a picky treat that has been toked. That's your pull-pock.

We can just about allow it. Yes. What a rules to you, just so many nickels and dimes. Yeah, yeah, that's sharp and I'm going to ship you in place. So that was three points and it was actually not far off-tune occasionally. So I think we're going to give you three puts or six points to clock it So at the end of that round produce a pen what are the scores the scores are exciting Remember up at the end

It's good the scores Tom and John have 11.5 Ben and Nisha 13 So that's bullshit We're going to have a little and a half. Ben and Nisha are 13! All right! So Ben and Nisha are following us. That's bullshit. Yeah, and Nisha were on the winters, but neither team have made their bets, nor can they lie on it.

And everything to play for is we snooze into round two. It's flat games. Yeah! Gaze! Let's play together. Gaze! Let's play forever. Roll the dice, spin that thing.

Put that down. Who is your toll? GAME! Let's play forever! Roll the dice, spin that thing, put that down! Who is your toll? GAME! If you lose you get nothing! GAME! If you win you get goals! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! That's the sound of a cultural phenomenon.

This week we're playing our version of Potnily US Games Joe Jeopardy, which we are calling Jeopardy! No, we're calling it Hypothetical Jeopardy, here's how we play it. I give each player an answer to a question and they have to tell me the question. However, unlike actual Jeopardy, I don't have any particular question in mind. So it will be a warning point for the ones that I like the best. So I'm going to start with Tom, we'll go across the line to Ben. Tom, so the first answer is...

Right. I mean, it's definitely right, because the answer is... The first answer is... A loaf of bread. A loaf of bread. What's the question? Um... The question is...

What's the best thing you can do with a large packet of crisps where you rip it in half, pull out the middle, then put the crisps in it, squish it up and eat it like it's wicked thing. That was like an empty Escher puzzle. I used to do it in my school, you'd call it out a baguette baguette with Doritos. Many of them didn't pass their GCSEs. Well John, talk us through, what's the actual question for Lover Bread? What's the best thing before sliced bread? That was mine mate! Mishkumar. What did Mishkumar once find a three-year-old iteration of behind his sofa when he moved house and it had gone real moldy?

True story, guys. Followed for bread. It was disgusting. Her clucky. The artist's life for bread, what's the question we're looking for in? 2010 what did Ben leave behind A double whammy that's what you gave from this team I said I'm up he nuts him down bread Has Brita's hadis station just walked in!

Well, that was fantastic. We're from Glocky. I'm gonna give you one point. I'm gonna give John two points. We're gonna start with John this time. The answer is, why the long face? What's the question? Oh. Not why the long pause. Really nice. Oh, not why the long pause. Really, no. I'm nearly there. I'm nearly there. Okay, could you also answer the question? This is based on a true experience of mine. Lovely.

What's the last thing you should say to someone who walks into a gig late and turns around to reveal that they have a severe case of neurofibromatosis? Not so bothered about winning those points, aren't you John? But they are calmly if you stall mine. But I can't believe he stole mine. LAUGHTER Everything's played forward, Nish Kumar. Oh, yes, this is going to be very good. I wanted to hear the thing that I say when I say, you know, it didn't come out, I thought,

I'm over there, and it was just trying to trick yourself and it'd be fun. Yeah, yeah. All right, and now the thing, I'm gonna say. No, it ain't. No, it ain't work. Okay. What did? What?

What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? I mean, it's two. It's two early in the show.

He's been having this full of breakdown, mate. What? What did he do? What did he do? He's just gonna lay an egg in a second if someone doesn't stop him. I'm afraid I'm going to have to accept that as an answer, Nisha. Two points. Slarky. Slarky. I would do you. Stop piling on my chin?

So much action the best thing we've had Doesn't make sense Well you're making this brief long But what is he saying that? The question is Yeah Why are you pulling on my face? Stop pulling on my face That's not a question

And you say BBC 3 don't want me to shut So what? So the question is stop pulling on my face, that's not a question. And you say BBC 3 don't want me to shut. Sorry, sorry, I want it. So the question is, stop pulling on my face. I'm going to answer the question in the whole question. Is this like the writers room for bad olds? Stop, I mean, this is... If only we'd put this much thought into it.

Now, Tom. Horse walks into a bar, and the barman says, F**K IT OUT! Shoot the horse. Yeah. Blood goes all over him and he's upset. And he goes out the back and he has a smoke and he's like, I'm just f**king killed a horse.

He goes home and he's got friends then. She's like, Well, what does she say to him? She's just why they're not face. Yeah, well that's, he doesn't say that because that's the answer. That's right. It's also the best answer. Five points.

Okay, now as this is just to start, the answer is red and yellow. What is? I'm a friend, I have a new question. I cannot accept the previous answer, as much as we enjoyed it. What is the colour? Yes. Oh. Oh.

I mean, just say like a red thing and a yellow thing. Just a kind of a weird thing and a yellow thing. Lovely. Okay, great. Clarke. What is the yellow pages? Oh! Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. CHEERING

I mean, I can't help but feel... ..that this is getting a little bit club-ating to 30 holiday. I'm not taking my top off. Okay. Oh, God. I'm doing this. This is his podcast, though, for this. I better put my top back on. Oh, the things we did for love. At top Harry, red yellow. Red and yellow.

I've... No, all of you sound paper instead of toilet paper. Oh, no! Where's the yellow coming from? It sounded sun paper, you're like, I can't see right. You're okay for enough, yeah. I like it, I like it. You're right. You're okay for enough, yeah.

John, come on. John, what's your answer? No question, even. Tragically, what was the colour of Pat Sharp's coffin? I think that's better than they go. I think I'm going to give a point to you. I'm going to give two points to Tom,

but I'm going to give five points to Clarkie there. Well done. Finally, Clarkie was starting with you. Nothing finished, obviously. Clarkie was starting with you. The answer is Christmas Day. What is the day that happens on December 25th? Harder than it looks that day.

Now take peekers, come paint off. Harder than it looks. It's a mystery, Thomas Perry. The day of the guiltyest work. It is it. No, it is. Two words, 9-11. Oh my God, this show is gone. We're not going to put this one out.

Oh, this is one of the things we're going to put out. John. You haven't got to do it. You don't know what I'm going to do. You talk it to yourself. That's true. You don't know what I'm gonna do. You talk it to yourself. Because that's true. You don't know what you're going to say. Okay, okay.

It's good to see the process, isn't it? It's like Com Com pod. But John, are you happy? So is it John? And what you learn? What you learn? What was the answer again? Christmas day. Okay. Here we go.

Career wise, what does Stuart Goldsmith call it when Mark Maron replies to his app message? And the award for niches answer goes to... Nish! And the award for niches answer goes to Nick. Well, it should be good. Robbins looks like if he could put his shirt back on and then take it off again. If I had a knife, I'd cut my skin. A lot of people say that after coming on the show. But what is it that this arm roof has hand? So, Nish, what have you got for us?

Oh, what is the Christian festivity that I refer to as Honkidee Vali? Yay! Yay! We look like a really bad version of that pink Floyd poster. So it slips off all round and I think for that I'm definitely going to give a niche a cool five points for that. Come on! I literally can't anymore anymore the other answers were. So at the end of that round, how many points do people have?

Ben Walker, our producer. This is a bloody exciting, this is, cos. I'm a John F. 21 and a half. Ben and Bishop 22! Ooooooh! That is how we play. A dead pig. It's fall.

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Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to add in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's a like theaters for December 15th. PLEASE I love it.

It's automated and so are our minds. But that's all going to change as we play. Beef Brother! Lamb! You've got a problem. I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call in a beef. If you've got a beef, beef.

Maybe we can help you a beef from the sorting at your beef! Yes, it's beef brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat-share-based beef. And this one comes from Steph, who was in the audience today. She says, My boyfriend sweats so much that I wake up wet in the night. Oh, sexy! They had to be a battle-way phrasing it, isn't that?

No, things sexier than a sweaty man. So Tom and John, you are on the side of her stiff. Ben and Nish, you are on the side of her boyfriend. Who I believe, Steph, is the boyfriend here as well? Yeah. What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

Okay, so you are sweating. Ben and Nish, you are on Dan's side. So you've got a time to cross examine both of them. Why not? Any questions from Tom's side or from Ben's side? Steph. Yeah. How sweaty on a scale of 1 to 10 is...

Is... is he? And it's like a layer. A layer? A sort of film of science. Would I have a correct and used the word sheen? It's like a layer Would I be correcting using the word sheen? Steph describe the room describe the atmosphere to the room What, I bet you Not like the skirting board like describe the heat level in the room And I normal warm put the heat on before we go to bed.

Well, you turn it off. Turn it off. Your own personal life. Your own personal life. Good, well done. Well done. What's the better than wasting energy? An already temperate season.

The Clark and Mish have any questions for either Steph. Other than you, yeah? We're supposed to be defending Dan, right? Yeah, Steph, what's your fucking problem? No, it's not. Wait, wait. Dan, what do you, what do you wear to bed, Dan? Objection relevance.

Yeah, it's completely relevant. It's very relevant. Overall. It's just that T-shirt and boxes. All right. Both the T-shirt and boxes. Boxes, what? Gloves? No one dear sweaty. Who?

You're already wearing, like, way more than any other panel. Yes. Steph, can I ask, are there kind of key problem areas? Mmm. Are we talking back, sack, crack? The sweaty valley. How would you know our sweaty's crack was in the night? You just know.

And it's making us a prolific crack sweater. It's like having a water feature. Some nice, some nice, it's like a rain forest down there. It's absolutely unacceptable. It's like the butterfly house of Keith Gardner. With the emphasis heavily on the butt. So, in conclusion, I reach the next question. Yeah, I'd say Chester and back. He's a very well-in-seated man.

What is that? Is he fat or hairy or both? Hairy, hairy, hairy, hairy man Oh, wet hair A smell of wet hair Coming from two very hairy men I'm actually going to stay silent on this one It's not even coming credibly self-conscious about the fact that I currently look like a 70s porn star

Literally no one knew andish should take this top off. Well yeah, this is for a jump rock. Oh, okay, so without further ado, I'm going to call it one. John Roberts, to begin the case for the prosecution, you have one minute and your time begins now. You're on her. Hello. If a lady chooses to make the temperature rebellerum inhospitable to form mankind, if a lady can I just repeat the phrase at this point lady because many times you're like you've got a minute. Because I don't

want us to lose track of politeness here or form. If a lady chooses to cater to her own temperature needs, no matter how ludicrous. John, John, John. No, no. No, you will see my point. I trust you, John. No matter how ludicrous her body temperature

regulation system may be be it is her right you're on now to remain a lady because if you want to live in a world where a lady cannot be a lady then what hope have we got a world full of crass men and I think that's your time that's your time, that is your time. The track is making about something else, but was about ladies. So to open the defence we call upon Mr Nish Kumar, you have one minute, and remember who signed your own. I'd sort of feel like I could just repeat Jon's speech again. Yes, it was very good.

Your time starts now. Your honor. If a lady... I'm not Margaret Feltcher. This lady is not for turning. 30 seconds left, Nish. 30 seconds left. I would like to draw the court's attention to the antics of the lawyers opposite and say, is this the kind of people you want? Is this the kind of people?

Where do you get your degree? A polytechnic? I know you're urban. At your time I'm afraid, so we've had very compelling arguments from both sides. So I've still got his pants off. And Stet, yeah Tom did release the crack in half way through that. I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. I've never seen so many camera phones out.

Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Yeah, I've never seen so many camera phones out. Oh, right, so I was going to ask Stefan down how they think it's going.

How do you think it's going guys? Legally, I feel the term is I'm kind of fucked. So Tom, I think you're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Remember, you are on Steph's side. I said to John several times, but there we go. So, are you going to be doing this as yourself? No, I'm going to do the Southern Defence lawyer, Mr. Fanchwell, stand in. Fanchwell, stand in.

I'm signing and providing your minute or however long it takes, begins around now. Ladies and gentlemen, after Jury, Hill, I see you there taking pictures with damn dare cameras that I've heard so much about. They steal your soul. That's what I've been told anyway. Is he Native American?

No! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we've heard a lot of fancy damn dare words from damn people over dare. Persperation, sweatage, effabuse. Let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen of the jury, damn damn them, fellas, they're from the big city.

They ain't ever bought cattle like me and you have. Hell, yeah, you know that left there. That be a left of recognition. Head down to that cattle farm, see a nice big fat cow there. Hill, sweaty lady, heaven's a petshead. Ease him money, seven to ten, straight on the dollar. Y'all know as well as I do down there in the kelp farm, hell ain't gonna buy no sweaty cell,

gonna buy the hairy kind. It's like Willie Nelson's just dropped a tab of my sense. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha when it's out. Why is she going to do? Take him out to pasture? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll effort do something very quick. I can't yes well. Let's hear all about it as you could go to the case for the defense, Ben Clark.

What's up? You're awesome. Oh, it says Patrick. What? He's the only... It's a sponsored by Budweiser. What's up? Just do your little favour there, guys.

Get your little corporate sponsored. Cheers, buddy. Separate beds. The defense rests. APPLAUSE So, obviously, I am unprepared to make the decision myself as... I mean, there is no decision. So, I'm going to call upon our Phoenix audience. If you believe that John and Fan Shaw and therefore Steph is in the right applaud now. Uh-huh.

You think this in Ben made the better case? A applaud now. Sorry about that Steph, well done Dan. Well, it's nearly time for us to go for a lie down in an unmade bed in 45 minutes while we listen to the Quick Fire Jingle. So let's see what Tom and Ben have come up with for us this week. Let's let to the quick fire So long keep, that they're happy they're home CKES is our K haven't got a clue Calum long in production

French? We won't shoot Oh Jesus Okay Okay. Det er Quick Fire Run. Sin runden s'ongen var veldig graskt. Some air may kelic at dicked, fake, saar long introduction Salon duke, introduction No, it's Norwegian

Oh my god No, no es una liga. Oh, my God! Esta es la ronda quickfile. Su la ronda que va muy rápido. Que es extraño que se tiene una laga intratrusion com'o Don't let S la playa La playa a la derecha People want bacadillo Well now that we've done all the countries, it's time for us to get on with the quick fire into Nashuna. I mean the fact that that represents the quickfire round is a sound thing.

That is exactly what the joke is. Sorry. First fight, first fight. Okay, so of course in this quickfire round all the questions will be... Toos! Ze shigongste di quick fire lun Tada kwing trans zendo kwailun Ze shigui gai te te talu ze mzangte je sha Daniel Sa the law, Zem Zang, the Jechauss. This is very young.

Daniel Sa. I can't apologize enough. You're right, Clark. It was uncomfortable. Wasn't it? Yeah, really. In this quick far-around, all the questions will be bed-based. If you think you have the right answer, shout out your first name. Tom and John, let's hear that now. John!

Nice, bed-in-ish, let's hear it. Besh! Oh! Sikering-ishity! Oh, my God! Off we go! What do you call a slumbering-ass? Ben! Which is also the correct answer, yes. Off we go. What do you call a slumbering arse? Ben.

She's also the correct answer, yes. It's actually sleeping booty. What happens when you frighten a bed? John. John. It shits itself. It's not bad. It shits itself. It shits itself. There we go. What is the wettest place to sleep?

Tom! Tom! Ben's bed. It is a tea bed. What do you call a sleepover in the forest? A wood bed. John, John, a wood bed. A bed of wood. Getting wood in a bed. It's actually your lumber party.

What? What's the slogan for a sleepover in the forest? John. John, let's get wood in our bed. I'm going to give you half a point. It's actually, let's sleep in Logs Lye. What notting and based, Pock Dua, are always napping. Bed, sleep, bed. Gleep the sleep for Dmonts. The sleep for Dmon sleep, bed. Gleep for the sleep for the moths. The sleep for the moths, I would also accept it,

the sleep for the moths. Why do I keep falling asleep whilst watching that Pablo Escobar draw on Netflix? Tom. Tom says boring. Oh, oh. Bam. Because you've got Narka Lipsy.

Narka Lipsy, yes. Oh. What do you call a really sexy bed stuck to a wall? John. John. A bed I've just done it with. Oh! I'm going to give you half a point for that. It was actually a four-post-earned bed. Oh, Jesus Christ. What do you call sexy bed time conversations about rice?

Uh, John, he knows all of you didn't say your name. I'm going to give you half a point each there. Uncle Ben's sexy chat. Two points in this. Why did the man... Why did the man with the nervous twitch fall asleep? Because he was... You didn't say your name!

I was given an answer, yeah, I was floundering. When I'm coming with that so I'll say my name. John, Tourette's bed. Tourette's bed is your answer. Yeah. Tourette's bed. Fine, that's on. It's the correct answer.

Tourette's not in the course, it's not. It was having 40 wins. What did Burton movie, is like greeting someone when you're half awake? Alison Slumberland, John Alison Slumberland. Alice means hello, isn't Josh? No, no, not I- Nish! Nish? Sleepy hello, sleepy hello! Well, that is the end of the quidfire round, which means we have a winner.

So let's put this show to bed. Producer Ben, what are the final scores? He's got the face of a man who knows he has to edit this shit. LAUGHTER The scores are 1 team has 26, 1 team has 29 and a half. The winners are Ben and Nish! CHEERING CHEERING

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Tom and John have to make the bed. Well, Ben and Nish get to spend the night in it with me. Thanks to our guest John Rollins and Nish Kumar, we've been Patty, see you next time on Flash Esplanade! Happy, it's Flash Esplanade, I'll be your Pat. I'm going to make one of the top players for the first place in the game. John Rollins, you will demise by having the producer Ben Walker be thanks to everyone who came down to see the recording. And the good folks will do the right thing to detach Tasha Cafe UK's story and the image in sever

for helping out Doris Barf and Bruce Goldie guys and the feelings for having us. Happy Splash, yes, Land Out, and it's a fun production for the Bruce Goldie guys and the internet. Cheers everyone, bye! CHEERING You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes. We can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now.

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