Pappy's Flatshare - Series 8, Episode 7 (Change The Fuse)

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

Rachel Parris and Sean McLoughlin are the houseguests for a return to the LaughOutLondon Festival featuring Tom almost asphyxiating himself beatboxing, Sean getting very angry about Money and Minerals, Rachel delivering the most impressive Beef Brothers sneeze-based prosecution ever, Matthew calling an audience member a 'bit of a piece' and Ben failing to clear a very, very, very low bar when it comes to explaining why he can't do the chore. We are eternally grateful to all the #flatslammers who have donated some cold hard cash towards the series. If you'd like to join them you can do so at www.comedy.co.uk/pfs/donate But don't worry if you can't! You can very much support the show by spreading the good news about Flatshare Slamdown far and wide. Thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at in that moment. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Ahoy! Hi! Welcome listeners to the new flat slam. This is just a reminder to say please donate. We give a good chunk of our time to make sure the flat slams are up to standard and it will be lovely if you would like to repay our time with a donation.

We have an address, it is comedy.co.uk, forward slash PFS, forward slash donate. Thank you so much for your donation so far. Right. On with the show, it's time to join Matthew and Ben and Tom for another flat share slam down. Tom Ben, what is it Matthew? Yeah, what is he doing in that little prick? Oh, firstly, you can change that attitude. Sorry, actually, that's kind of cruel. Because... Gosh. I mean, actually, there's not a word I disagree with. I am a nasty little prick, but let the audience find that out for themselves over the course of the hour.

What about you, Tom? Yeah, I think you're terrible. Thank you. You think I'm a terrible? I think you're a terrible. Oh God. I'm a small worse about you think I'm a terrible I think you're a dare that but that So listen anyway one of you guys has got to change the fuse What's not gonna be me I refuse I've got it in got it in I've got about five times of this gorgeous. Don't you worry about that. I think you're just gonna love it the sick time round

That's like you what about you. I think you're just just going to love it the sick time round. That's lucky. What about you? And I'm not going to do it either. Well, there's only one minute to solve this. We're going to have to have a... Hello and welcome to a very special Flatsheast Lampdown. This is the panel show that says, Oh, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, Now you tell me to leave you alone My father says come on home My doctor says take it easy But your loving is just too strong I'm added to your chain, chain, chain Chain, chain, chain Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain Change the fuse I'm the host of landlord raki crossbeard Yes, for those of you listening at home. That was me harmonizing. We Matthew there

A gorgeous set of pipe she's got you really lovely a really beautiful full set oh in that it wasn't real Yes, we're coming to you live from the laugh out London festival 2018. And while they're under my roof, we follow my rules. That's with the tenants Tom Perry and Benedict Clar. Oh, good evening, good evening, good evening. Thank you. What a treat! So, Tom, why do you refuse to change the refuse? Well, it's a terrible story, actually. About the last time I was around when a fuse went,

Well, it's a terrible story actually, about the last time I was around when a fuse went. I was drinking with my celebrity friends, Mr. Walker, the old host of catchphrase. You're probably remembering Mr. Walker. We remember, of course we do. Mr. Gore. Please tell me Mr. Chips was there as well. Oh, such a bizarre looking.

Wasn't there. Mr. Gore was there. You know, I remember Mr. Gore, the former ice president, the United States of America, and Mr. Pacino. One of my favorite actors. Go, I see what. He was there, Poe Show. We were having beers.

We were about to order beers. We're in the pub. And all the lights went out. So I had to send Mr. Walker and Mr. Gore to go and change the fuse. And I had a refresher on what we're doing in history to ask Mr Pagino to go to the bar to order the drinks I said, Roy Alfews Albears

Roy Alfews Albears Roy Alfews Albears It's in the Royal Fuse Albears Roy Alfews Albears Fuse Aliens in the royal fuse of it is right out Huse Aliens I mean one guy. Absolutely right. That's not strong guys giving me a little bit. Could I be described as a different Tom The journey's wonderful, but the end oh it's oh really It's not about the destination. Can I ask a question, though, Tom?

Please, no. OK, very nice. Tom, have you had a stroke? And if not, could you? Is that all right? I'm trying my best. So Ben, why won't you fix the electrical circuit? Is it because you simply want to jerk it?

Yes, actually, right. I was told back in the day. I don't know who told me this, but genuinely, if a fuse goes out and you flip the switch, it goes out again, what you should do is take it out and lick the end and then put it back in and it my mouth. I ended up blowing the fuse. Ah! At least my journey's enjoyable. Yes. I'll always have the journey.

But obviously you can't change your fuse on your own. Your material is just simply not strong enough. So, who are you bringing along? Who are you bringing along to help, Ertom? Well, Matthew, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, good Lord. Yes, I know. The windows in the roof are dirty.

The windows in the roof are dirty. They're called Skylight. The Jamborees. I know. So I've had to find a new window cleaner. Oh, gosh. With a Jamboree. And I found the tallest comedian I know.

It's Mr. Sean McLaughlin. Sean McLaughlin is here. Thank you. Baby. Yeah. Yeah. Sean, thank you for being a guest on Flat Share Slamdown. It's fine.

Sorry about the suds backstage. That's all right. Now listen, are you a good flatmate? What kind of a flatmate are you? I'm all right. Yeah. It depends what you're into, I think. If people are into you.

If you're into cleanliness, no. Okay. If you're into rent being paid on time, no. If you're into constant discussions as to whether DS9 was better than Star Trek TNG, big yes. That's what I bring to the table. And where do you stand on that age-old debate? I mean, actually, I take the cows away, and I say you can't really compare them.

LAUGHTER Well, you can't, because it's TV to the word endless, doesn't it? Well, DS9 was more serialised and TNG was episodic. If you ask me who had the better character's TNG, but DS9 will probably stand the test of time. And I don't know about you, but I'm starting to get nostalgia for the Puccino joke. LAUGHTER

And you're... I can't believe we peaked at the Puccino joke. Amazing. Ben, who have you brought along with you this week? I've bought my dance teacher. It's Rachel Barrett! Wow! It's Rachel.

Hello. So Rachel, are you a good flat mate? Are you a better flat mate than Sean, do you think? Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r I don't really mind mess, but more to the point, I really don't mind dirt.

Like if something's grubby, I don't really notice or clean it. So, in a sense, no, I'm not a good flatmate. But in a sense, in a much more real sense, yes, you definitely are. Exactly, it depends on your point of view on your pub. So, I was going to ask you, like, what's the grubbyest thing you've seen? But you literally won't be able to answer that question. I don't see you. You just don't see Grime.

No. Not your favourite kind of music. I knew you were going to say that. You knew he was going to say because he went bright red. As he does before all punch lines. Punch lines is very generous. I can't punch his in a strong tone, what those were. Well, we have met our contestants, but let's find out if they're a few's good men

and a woman as we play Round One. Look. If you're alone in your flat, I know the lights go out. You have to fix it yourself. Change your fuse. Could you do it? I'm not a friend, I'm a bitch, you're blowing.

Go, it's hard to sweaty, these weak arms are heavy, The room's dark, you can't hold the torch too steady, these nervous kisses round the fuse covered already, but he confused, he's switched, he keeps forgetting Is it this one or that? It's pitch black, you twat If he could only go back to light in the flat He's joking now, he's in 15 amps or 12 and does it go there How does he not know that? Black out and so shitting without electricity Oh, in the dark he knows he's not a spark, he knows he should do it.

It's his fault, he blew it, he knows he's no bug. He used all the bugs, he just didn't need those extension leaves. He knows he could die, his sparks start to fly with hundreds of foes. All it takes is one jump, so we praise against shocks, a lot of the foosies. Jesus, please use yourself, because your views did abuse, and you lose, and you should have never let it blow You only get one chance to let the electric blow In the future, don't overhold your socket

Jesus, please yourself, because you've used it abuse And you lose it, you should have never let it blow You only get one chance to let the electric blow In the future, don't over who just suck it! Yes! That was really good! That was really good! There's so many words in that song! Yeah!

Too many words! Before we play Round 1, the promoters of the Laugh Outland and Festival have asked me to pick up one of the events they're curating. So tomorrow, don't miss Ramsay's treat. Comedian Chris Ramsay will be enacting scenes from the Australian soap opera neighbours. He's just puppets, he's fashioned out of dog biscuits. Prepare to be amazed at the loveable Jordy favours us with Harold's disappearance.

Susan Kennedy's retrograde amnesia, and even Bouncer's dream, using only fish and wire, some bonios, and his inimitable wit. That's Ramsay's treat. Tomorrow at the laugh out, London Festival, tick is 87 pounds 15 and the showos and his inimitable wit. That's Ramsay's treat. Tomorrow at the laugh out London festival, tickers at 87 pounds 15 and the show begins at 3 a.m. Anyway, on with the game, round one, this time is called You Fuse, You Lose.

It's a word disassociation game, the opposite of Malice Mallet. And by that, I mean, Malice Mallet was a lot of fun. I'm going to... LAUGHTER I'm going to give each team... Oh, the cornerstone of every good birthday party, Malik's Malik. I love Malik. You're dead with a pillow in the back garden. I literally only

or dad did this. Oh right. You're dead with a pillow full of bricks. It's the more birthday sun. A real Malik. I have absolutely no idea what any of you are doing. No I hold. I hold. This is what happens when you get older. It's a hope so. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is what happens when you get older, isn't it? We're so old. So give us a cheer if you remember Malik's Mallet. Yay! Give us a cheer if you don't. Yay! So basically, Timmy Mallet used to play a game

on children's early morning. I never Timmy Mallet. He played a game where he would pop people over the head with a sponge mallet. Oh, yeah. And it was a word association game where you mustn't pause, you mustn't hesitate. Otherwise, you get a bonk on the head like this,

or like this, look, each other go play. That was basically the start of Malik's Mallet. It was a simpler time. It was a simpler time before you three. o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, o'n gael, give each team two minutes to list words. Now these words must have nothing to do with the previous word. So the other team can challenge if they think they've spotted an association. And if we get it wrong, you extract a mallet from our head. That is right. Thank you for putting all those mallets inside your heads. Ahead of the game to do it. Yeah, we'll be pulling mallets out through your eyes. I don't know, can I just back up? He called it mallets mallet. Yes. I reckon he started with that and then made the game

on. Oh, absolutely, yeah. Or do you think he changed his surname because of the mallet? No, I think he was. I think he genuinely was called Timmy Hammers. Well, the stomach of his real name was Timmy Hammers. He was too violent at the time. Waste the time.

The teams get a point for each unchallenged word. Their opposing team gets a huge five points for each correct challenge. However, if I disagree with the challenge, then they lose a point. Okay, so you can challenge by shouting the word challenge. You're going to start with Ben and Rachel. You get to go first.

Challenge. Who? We're on the same team. You're playing with each other. They're challenging you. Oh, right. Cool. I'm afraid that is an incorrect challenge

So you lose a point, Clarke. I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry As we used to go, let's not forget. I am indeed a nasty little prick So you've lost a point or anything to play for yes unless challenge was his first word. Oh Yeah, let's go. Good call. It wasn't. No, unfortunately. Okay, so let's let Rachel start with the first word. Green Mickey Mouse Taw Floor You put tar on the floor? You do put tar on the floor?

It's all my life! That's five points. Good point Ben. By-row. Where am I getting this from? Amazing blue sky thinking. Linnin. Ooh, Linnin.

Cloud. Challenge. Challenge from top. White. Famously both whites. They're both. Famously white. But Linnin can be any colour. Yeah.

Not so good to cloud. I thought you were talking about them. What? We've racially charged challenge from Tom there. Namely white. Let's not get into this right now because this seems to happen every show. So it was a correct challenge from Tom, carry on Ben. Oh, okay.

Hot. Plume. Teeth. Pen just drilled all over himself saying the word. Saying the word. Saying the word's teeth. Hago. Hammer.

Flock. Very, very strong gameplay in from Rachel Paris here. Challenge. Take off. What was your challenge? Don't you have a flock of hammers? No, you do not. You lose one point, Matt Thomas.

You lose one point. Clearly, you've never been to a whole other hampton birthday party. My dad and I have a lot of stuff to offer. Okay, 10 seconds left. Money. Mineral. Challenge. Yes.

Money and minerals fundamentally linked in this mad world, we live. Capitalism, mate. Capitalism. You could just say that. I don't think. I haven't put it in a row. Wait, hey, that was your two minutes, but if you can make this challenge, oh, then it's dick you can't just say they're fundamentally List in this crazy world to be living you've got to give us the reason why they're fundamentally linked and Tom

Don't help him out because he has to learn Well, there's only one person who's about to be taught my friend yes minerals. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah come on no you lose a point such a good house mate such a chance I tell you had good minerals the bloody Vulcans at the series three but Jesus Ben very quickly where are we at the end of that bit? Have you totted it up? Yes, I have. Tom and Sean have got eight points. Oh. And Ben and Rachel have got 16. Oh, okay, okay, yes. Oh, okay. Yeah. I hope that's tentative.

So, Tom and Sean, it is now your turn. Bless you. Your two minutes begin now. Cable. Ham. Hitler. Mint. Cable ham Hitler mint Pog rubber

But a challenge yes some pox were made at a robber the They were the big the big hero Pog was made at a rubber that is five points well done I'd never thought I'd get a round of applause for that sentence Had I been saying it for so long? What were you saying, Pog? Pog. Well, Rubber. Not cardboard little things.

It's easy to talk to. It's easy to talk to. It is easy to the time. OK, carry on. Sorry. My apologies. Bone. Tickle chair

Fireman Okay, go on what you challenge chairs famously flammable on fire ignore that I'm gonna give it them I'm boss is this about my minerals It's a hundred percent is deep space nice anyway. I got first It's definitely his belt. It 100% is. Deeds based nine. Right, I'll go first.

Asshole. Well, I know what I'd say, but why not win? Can I say it? Yeah, can I say right now? He looks straight in the eyes and said that. Tom, you're taking this too seriously. And you're going to make yourself upset, all right? You have in a very nice time, you're ruining it.

Got another 35 seconds, it's a long game. Exmo. Table. Frankfurt. Bowl. Yeah, bowl challenge. What the fuck is a bowl? What the fuck is a bowl?

LAUGHTER You've got 15 seconds left. Slime. Romania. Backwards. Whoa! You've got 15 seconds left. Slime, Romania, backwards. Whoa! Oh, I'm sorry! Whoa! Do they dare tell you? No, I'm not.

Do you challenge that? No, I'm not. Do you challenge that you raised his back? I was just screaming challenging that. I just started just out of what you said. Good. Can I just tell you that wonderfully, racially charged, we're not racially charged, it was racially charged as well.

It was a racially charged and racially charged moment. That's taken up to the end of that game. Well done guys, what are the points at the end of that round? For scores, Tom and Sean, I've got 26 of you in that round. Ben and Rachel have got 31. Oh, so Ben... What? Ben and Rachel won that round, but will Tom and Sean be fusing for a bruising? Let's find out as you play Round 2, it's flat games Guys Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, So one player in the team has to beatbox for a minute while the other does a rap about some heavy things.

Oh yes! Not just throwing together this. This is it, this is actually a go some heavy things. What some heavy things. You know, like racism. Let's not talk about it now. When the beatboxer thinks they know what they're rapping about, they need to incorporate their answer seamlessly into the beat. Okay, so the points for correct guesses, I mean, at this stage, points are just getting through it.

And points for correct guesses, fat rhymes, this stage, points are just getting through it. Points for correct guesses, fat rhymes, wicked beats, spill control, and generally keeping the whole thing going. But before we play the promoters, have asked me to plug one of the many events at the Laugh Out London Festival. Grab your family heirlooms and come on down to Bridget's Christie's. LAUGHTER

The awarding comedian and feminist icon was putting down the mic and picking up a gavol as she auctions off a series of antiques. Bring a checkbook and you can be heading home with a minvars, some chest-filled furniture or even a glass ceiling. That's... That's Bridget Christie's, tomorrow at La Founta Loud London, tickets are £3.49 and also include free entry into two other auctions, Jimmy's cars and Milton Jones under the hammer. Right, let's get back to the game. We're going to start with Tom Beak Boxing and Sean Rappin. Now, Sean, here are your heavy things. Don't show them. What

was that? What was that? If you just coughed up a furball? What's happened there? It's a name all referenced. It's my bed enjoy, dude. So hard, dude, yeah. So you're going to be... Is that it? Now that's your name. And then if you unfold it... The items are on the inside. I've briefly thought, what? This is meta.

He's a really handsome guy. He's sitting next to you. Okay, so you've got a minute. Is there a list of things? It's going to be four things you're going to try and get. Okay. Why is Kevin on that? Just clearing the throat. I mean, I tell you what, give him a constant rhythm.

That might be easier. I've never done that before. I mean, what about like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That sort of thing, okay. Thanks, Grandad. I mean what about like boom boom boom boom that sort of thing, okay, thanks granddad Tom okay, you be you bro. Yeah Oh Don't breathe in me breathe in I've got to say He's so good, he's so good

Oh my god That sounded like a Transformer That's the idea Whoa Who is it? It's a Tantar Whoa. Oh, that was a ten-time. Tom, that was very strong, but you're going to have to do circular breathing or something because you almost died there. Right.

Right? Okay. Okay, I'm going to start that. I'm going to restart your time because we enjoyed it. Okay, here we go. Wait, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on,, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Oh yeah, keep this radical. Jockies ride me when I'm in the grand national. Five more shoes on my shoes. You ride me if you want to shoot or a horse. Yes, that's right, he's a horse.

Okay. That's it, now then, what's in store? People ride me when they go to the wall, they've got a big long finger. I'm probably buffed. Buffed, buffed, buffed, buff a big long finger. You're a tank. You're a tank. Thanks.

Wanna throw something out, wanna put it in the tip? I am one of these. It rhymes with tip. That's it. 10 seconds. You just said it, yeah? You're a skip. I don't think.

I don't think. Ah. All right. I want to keep my foot cold. I want to keep my food cold. I want to keep it really cold. Fridge! Fridge! Fridge! Fridge!

That is your minute there! You know what? It was a fridge freezer. I'm going to give you the full points, because that was fantastic. So it was a horse, a tank, a skip, and a fridge freezer. I'm going to give you the full four points for that. But also, for the beef boxing, it's got to be a that but also for the beef boxing it's got to be a ten hasn't it it's got to be a ten. So can we get the iron lung to put top into for the just wheel that out now I say he's giving himself the

bends. Okay next up it's Rachel beat boxing and we've got Ben rapping so you're listening So your list of heavy things is there and your minute begins now. We're going! BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH Nobody knows it across the street. It is right under your feet. It's a pavement. Yeah, it's going. Oh, OK, yeah. I'm going to give you a bit more time because I'm really enjoying the scene, clarky sweats.

Oh, you put these out in the sea. They will collect brown stuff from underneath the earth's crusts. Boy, ah! Look at the wick of a boob! Fishing nets. I'm afraid the answer you're looking for was oil tanker. That is not your fault. So, um, pay the, we have's the answer, Payton's Slaub.

Payton's Slaub, which I'm going to give you a point for, a washing machine, I'm afraid I'm going to give you half a point for you, just a wash, and I think I'm going to give Rachel a seven-hour ten-hour for the beatboxing. That is generous. I just, I mean, mainly for stamina. I've got no bars, guys. I've got no bars. Tom, that's yours. You you're gonna wrap for Sean now

Sean yeah your beatbox it has your beatbox in by the way I mean the bars pretty low and I intend to limbo it here we go then your minute starts now Buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk-buk- Yes, wrapping around where I am, live on the ground. I fell off the tree. You know me, I might get weed on by a dog. You might refer to me as a log. Yeah. I'm the biggest one of these. The slong get dark. I'm much bigger than a shark.

I'm living in the sea, yeah, you know me. But what would you do? My color is blue. Yes, yes. Yeah, I love me, but what would you do my color is? He's got it so I'm a blacksmith. Yeah, you understand I'm working in my shop pound-a-pound I get some metal it's really hot and I put it on this. It's got the lot Yeah, boy So I'm walking around in my dressing room, but I am not a wardrobe. I'm not a dice. Oh, he sure was.

He's pretty heavy. I shouldn't be in England, manager, but they sent me because of a scandal. Then they got garrisoned. I'm so jealous. I cannot handle That was both brilliant and totally incorrect That was both brilliant and totally incorrect. It wasn't Sam Alladispe, we're looking for a chest of drawers, but actually quite friendly potato potato, really. Okay, well I think because we enjoyed the freestyle rap about Sam Alladispe so much, I'm

going to give them another ten points there. And of course we've got three points as well, so thirteen points, well done, Rachel. There are your rapping topics, as I believe the rappers call them I can't go on stage. I've lost my rapping topics Chill out Flavor Flav, you're okay now Rachel earlier on we asked you if you were good at rapping and you said I'm not very good, but I do like trying That is what I said and I can't wait to see this. This is going to be fantastic. So Rachel, your minute begins now.

Clarke, will you beat Box Forest, please? BOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOO Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free them at a lot more. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's a like theaters, December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly

deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of Curious Canadian History every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Cast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere. aqs.com Evil times, I have a sword and it would be great of metal.

I like, I'm out. Yes. I have people in me. I'm not a car. I'm a public transport. What? Wow. And, you're a dream?. What? Wow. You're a dream? No, keep going. You use oyster on me and I have two decks. I'm a boss.

Yes. I'm not a chair. I wouldn't catch on fire. Oh my, oh my, are you, what? Keep going. Keep going, keep going. But people would sit on me and go so far as to say, I'm a...

He's just turning to an afternoon much to laugh at in a speech. This is a wrap. Any clues, Clark? I'm afraid your time is up, but I'm going to ask you, can you tell us what you think the answer is? I mean, you're not a chair, but people would sit on you. Yeah, two people. It's a riddle.

You riddle me this? A bench? No, I literally said it. She did say I go so far as to say so far oh okay you're a bench you're so far as to be you would pick up on that and you wouldn't pick up on that unfortunately you didn't know which one was the smart one, did you? In the team, but that's okay, no, it is Tom. So you got the suit of armour, you got the bus, you didn't get the sofa, and Clarkie basically had a breakdown every time I had to get an answer. So I think we'll give you two points for that, and I think we're going to give you five

points for the beatboxing. But lovely stuff. Faker, lovely stuff there Lovely stuff there but producer Ben how about I drop you a beat and you give us the scores at the end of that round. It's full change here. Whoa bucket lashing the house. Hooray! Ben and Rachel have 45 and a half. She's time to solve half of 53. And you have it all. Lovely.

Now it's time to give something back to our audience, as our otherwise incredibly self-involved panelists put aside their own problems and solve one of yours. It is Beef Brothers! You've got a problem, I've got a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a beef, if you've got a beef, maybe we can help you from the sorting like a beef. Yes, it's Beef? Yes. Hi, Charlotte. How are you doing now? BOOCH! BOOCH! BOOCH!

BOOCH! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! So, Charlotte writes, now this is an absolute doozy. This is a humdinger this one. My flatmate, slash husband, sneezes ridiculously, and, in my view, are necessarily loud. Wow. I'm worried I slash and slash or are guinea pigs will die of a heart attack.

Once I had one of the pigs on my lap, he sneezed, it jumped out and smashed its head into the coffee table. Whoa! His brother and I have both tried to address this with him, suggesting he could try and stifle his sneezes or at least announce before he's going to do it. But he refuses. My nerves are in pieces, please help. Well Charlotte, let's hope we can help.

Can I ask a question? Can you give me your husband's name? Is that possible? Is that all right? Richard. Richard, is he here? He is, that's right here. Fantastic. So, Richard, I know it's impossible to fake he here? He is, is he right here. Fantastic.

So Richard, I know it's impossible to fake it, but can you give us an indication of what kind of noise you're making when it comes to sneezing? No, it's just a reaction. It just happens. Yeah, I know that, but come on mate, play along. Sure.

I tell you what, no, I'm not doing it. Play back to Charlotte. Charlotte, you do it, that's better, because he's not... Oh, right, okay. So it starts with the high, it. That's better, because he's not... Oh, right. OK, so it starts with the high... It's fast, so it's like booming voice. All right, well, I'll tell you now that Ben and Rachel,

you want Charlotte side. Tom and Sean, absolutely. Absolutely. We are. On Richard side. Thank God. But before all of that, let's have a little cross examination. Let's start with Charlotte.

We might ask Richard some questions, but he seems a bit of a piece. So, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, our training next generations encounter a far point all over again. Of course, we're all thinking. Do you even consider Voyager? Here we go. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. I consider it. Shit.

Great. Oh, no. That is all right. All right. Nice back down there. Anyone got any questions for Charlotte, first of all? Yes. You should I apologise for calling you a bit of a piece.

Charlotte, this incident where you were... ...rue the guinea pig into a coffee table. I object to that. Let's talk about this, you were holding the guinea pig? Yeah, it was sitting on my lap. Richest sneezed. Yep. You threw the guinea pig into a coffee table.

No, that was not what happened. Right, okay. How many guinea pigs do you have? Two. Do you have to replace them often? Not yet. Do you throw many of your pets? Only from very angry.

What are these guinea pigs called? Hester and Ivy. And what is a guinea pig? Yes. It's like a cushion with eyes. Wow, wow. Wow. If I tell you a lot, do we have any questions

from Ben or for Rachel for Charlotte or indeed for Richard? Did you want to guinea pig or was it forceded on you because there weren't any like rabbits available or what? I think the guinea pig might be a bit of a mcguffin here. The snazzy is what we're talking about, so... Charlotte, have you ever foisted one of your guinea pigs? No. Farquh, any questions for Richard or for Charlotte? Yes, whilst the guinea pig. Guys, seriously.

Can we have some more questions about the sneezing and the kind of the locations at the sneezing? The guinea pig sneezes, that's cute. Yes, really. Okay, how much were they? How much did they cost? They were like 50 quits. That was really good.

The guinea pig is not on dry. Or though, I won't say this. They were like 50 quits. That was really good. I'm going to have to go. In the end, it's big. The giddy pig is not on dry. You're bad. Or though, I won't say this. 50 quits for the pear, but. Oh, 50 quits for a pear. Well, that's not bad, because he'd pay that much for a cushion, right?

So you might as well have a living one. Absolutely, yeah. Moose itself around. Would you say the giddy pigs are a metaphor? A metaphor, what? That's a lovely bit of a sense. That's why he makes the big bucks. And we allow that. Junior, a metaphor for what? Just like in the story, you know when you say guinea pig, would you actually mean hopes and dreams? It's a very good question.

He did almost kill us as well once when we were in a motorway and we're in the car and he was sitting in the back and and he sneezed, and the friend that was driving swirved into moving traffic. No, your friend nearly killed you. The friend's driving the car nearly killed you. Are you even nervous, disposition-sharler? Not really. I am! That's right, nothing, nothing.

See, yeah. If I didn't flinch at all, Rachel, do you have a question? No. Good. But I'm blood I chat. I've got a question for Ritu. Bless you. It's not bad time. How often would you say you sneeze? Regularly once or twice a day? What's a time? Ritu, I think you might be ill. Yeah. That is quite a lot of sneezing. That's an allergy, I think.

Are you allergic to guinea pigs? Was it twisted on you instead of a rabbit? Is there a specific guinea pig allergy? Or is it? I don't know as much about guinea pigs as you do, Richard. You want to be the queen? I haven't got one and I don't regularly surprise guinea pigs. As you do with your nose.

I think I sneeze on not around them. Do you carry a hanky? No. Tissues? Whoa. No. Do you carry a go? Is that enough to go on?

Yeah. I think it is. Okay, all right. In which case, then I call upon Rachel. You're starting. Well, I, in the last minute, have written a little rap. Oh my god I absolutely love it. Could you do quite a slow beat? What like?

Okay This is close to my heart for one reason. I also do quite ridiculous sneezing. It's unfeasible It's treason. I do it for attention, I'm not teasing. I sneeze like 10 or 11 times. It is a social crime. Have mercy on the pig. Give me Richard Gipartner, who committed a sin. He knows it's possible to feel as he's approaching.

Maybe he needs some coaching. When you start to feel that tingle, here it comes or soon you'll be single The thing is it's always a problem for us when someone with a genuine talent comes on the show But that was absolutely fantastic. Thanks, I hope it helped and also brrrrrat. So close. So close. Now, Sean, you're up next.

You've got a minute. Now, I believe you've actually written a song poem, haven't you? For us. You've written... I saw you scribbling away, the audience can see it. You've got reams of paper in front of you. I can't believe every line's going to rhyme, but I've written a little rap, okay, so and again, that's it. Fuck you man, you asked me to be here.

Absolutely. You obviously don't have to rap if you don't want to. Oh, I've got a wrap. You've got a wrap. He's got a wrap. Wait, can I just look at you on notes? Okay, your minutes, should you need it, begins now. You need to be booked. I paid the last thing I need to be booked.

Okay. This is Kanye. This is like 808's and heartbreak era. Now this is a story. All about how. By Gidey Pig got thrown from the ground. And if you see it right there, I'll tell you. All about how a sneeze made everything happen

that should have happened. Wow. Biddy, biddy, biddy. Biddy, biddy, biddy. Biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy. Biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy. In West London, board of rays. These Gide a bad thing. But it's a bad thing. But it's a bad thing. But it's a bad thing. In West London, board of rays, these giddy pigs were pricks for the beginning of day. All they...

Hanging out the basketball court, bullying kids, denying the Holocaust, putting on fans. All they needed was a big old sneeze. A man to come in and give them a big loud kick out the arse. He gave them big sneeze that he went to the sky the sky they sort themselves out and now they're cool guys Honest question will that make the edit? Because I kind of zoned out for a minute My favorite line of that was a play was a big loud kick up the ass. Okay, so Charlotte, probably not what you're hoping for,

but how do you think it's going so far? Yeah, quite well, although we did actually buy the guinea pigs off an extremely racist woman in Forest Hills. Do you sell? I can't hit on something like that. Racists can make sense that they wouldn't have those views. I don't know how you could have known that. Richard, how do you think it's going?

Better than expected. LAUGHTER Really? Wow. You had incredibly low expectations. How do you have very high hopes for this? Let's move on to Ben. You're going to conclude the case for the prosecution,

and remember, you're on Charlotte's side. Your minute begins now. Well... POOP BITCHED POOP BITCHED it begins now. Well, genuinely, I genuinely connect with this because my girlfriend also has very loud sneezes and it sends me into a rage. I'm genuinely happy that someone else is cub forward with this complaint because I can't really control when it happens. I'm genuinely upset with her for doing it. So you can't control your temper? I can't control my temper. Yeah. Well I don't do it. I just get like a bit peeved.

10 seconds, Clarky. Like, oh, oh. But basically, the moral of the story for me is I should get guinea pigs. So then I've got something to blame that on, because at the moment. I don't think you've understood the story. But go on, you've got something to blame that on, because at the moment... I don't think you've understood the story. That's just strange. But go on, you've got something to blame it on. Well, it's all about guinea pigs, right? How would you blame the species?

She's not saying Richard's claiming it's the guinea pigs. No, no, no, no, no. I don't mean that, but I mean, at the moment, when she sneezes, I get angry, but there's no like... Oh, you've got something to take it out on. Oh, no, no, no, I'm not gonna kill a guinea pig. You want a guinea pig? I don't want a guinea pig to punch No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no apologize, Garkey, we'll let you finish. What you actually trying to say. Just saying that what I want to do is buy a rabbit and puncture. Okay, fair enough. No, no, no.

We understand. Now Tom, you've got a minute to conclude because you put the defence. Now, are you going to do it yourself, do you? No, I'm going to be doing the style of a deep south defence lawyer from a John Grisham novel. No, why? He is. Mr. Fanshore Standard. No, why is it mr. Fanshawe standin is presiding and he providing and Ladies and gentlemen We've heard a lot of big words here today

From damn defancy lawyers over there from the city with their fast music know that bump bump but you're kids are today listening to that noise around here we simple folk we ain't shouting, no rhyming words over there like Demdeer, heathens, we church-going people, we music of the Lord, we gospel. Let me tell you a time, oh my goodness, a good old time. There was a man lived in this town. Oh my goodness. You know the song.

Don't get singing along now. We're in court. I'll see you on Sunday morning. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Let me get one thing straight around here. People talking about dim-dair animals, their noises, hell, we country folk. Hell, you probably forget the story of Jackson Boy.

Hehehe. Remember that dim-dair Jackson Boy, dear. Hell, he could hog a pig as far as market. He could hog a pig. He could hog a pig as quiet as market. I said it once, I'll say it again. Wait, you said it two different ways as well. Quietly, quietly. You know what I'm talking about. they don't understand here in the city, never hard to pick to market in their life. Noise these animals, country life, all there was a time.

See you on Sunday. No further questions, your honour. Wow, no further questions, your honour. Wow, no further questions. Which is a real shame, I've got tons of questions, but no further questions. No further questions. Oh, my goodness. I love that. It's a real earworm.

Yeah. Can you sing it for the rest of the week? Now, I can't adjudicate, unfortunately, because I'm too excited about attending a very exciting workshop organised by the rotors of the laugh out under festival. Maximise your brand, we'll be hosted by Katie Brand, Joe Brand and Russell Kane. Tickets are a snippet, £400, that's tomorrow 7am. So instead, I call upon our laugh outlanding audience to decide if you think Ben and Rachel and therefore Charlotte is in the right, I would like you to applaud now.

That's very strong, actually. That's very strong. But if you think that Tom or Indy Fanshaw and Sean and Richard, they had the best case with his loud sneezes, please applaud now. Oh no, no. That's just one man, very loud. Yeah, it's just one man. In which case, I think it's going to go to Charlotte. Congratulations. Congratulations.

Rob. I don't know what the solution is, but I think we're going to have to... Someone's got to break C.S. It's happening increasingly at Arquix, but... So what are you going to do about Richard? We don't really know. Presumably just remove his vocal cords. Yeah.

Have him socially removed and then you have the problem anymore. Have the replace for the guinea pig. The dream. And no, I don't know what a guinea pig is. So folks, we're nearly at the end of the show, but do not despair. There are plenty more events coming up at the laugh out London. Festivals. In fact, there is one the promoters have asked me to promote

tomorrow night, Ed Gamble, the host of the night of poker, roulette and blackjack. Join Ed Gamble for Ed's Casino Night. Tomorrow, 10pm. Let's hear the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why I think The old canner gree, it should have a short introduction. I second that motion, but not today, because this is a very important quick fire jingle. Today is actually the 25th year anniversary of the quick far out.

Oh, is it now? We've been doing this for 25 years. It certainly feels that way. So as a treat, we thought we could review Some of the best quick, far-round introductions Remember that one that was supposed to be short But it went on for a long time Yes, that was a classic

And there was also that one Where I sang it a little bit flat Do you remember that one? I sing them all flat, it's your thing. And also do you remember that one where you thought that we should have finished? But then we just carried on with a long introduction. A long intro d'action I think that one was my favorite That was in the 80s

We were drunk and in the hacienda And do you remember in the 70s recording at Woodstock? Oh, and Jimmy did that famous guitar solo on the quick fire round. What a 25 years it's been. And here's to the next 25. But let's get on with the quick fire round Happy birthday to the Quick Fire rounds 25 today Congratulations, who knew? Well, in this Quick Fire round all the questions were all pressed

26 years now. And do you remember in 1993 when we did the quick fire round with baby D? Remember baby D? She was the one who sang, let me be your fantasy. And the beside was of course the quick fire jingle. And then in 98 when Liam and Noel came on board. And Robert, I don't know what we're going with this. Let's just get on with the quick fire round. So in this quick fire round all the questions will have answers that are fused together. So instead of buzzes I'd like you to shout out your first name. Ben and Rachel are here

like now. Ben Rachel! Tom and Sean. Tom and Sean. I'll tell you what. For a bit of fun. Why don't we have Port Manso versions of your names? How's that? Tari.

No? Tari. Between Yours and Short. Torn. You can hear nothing's right. I'm Torn. Torn all out of things. You got Torn and Sam here.

And we've got... Rari. Baiture. Baiture and Renn, I guess it was... Bit of fun? Yeah, bit of... It is a bit of fun, isn't it? Bit of fun. Bit of fun.

We had a chat producer Ben said, well, that work. And he said, yeah, and I said, yeah, pretty well. And we were wrong. But you know what? You've something you've got to admit that, haven't you? We were wrong. Dead wrong on that one, dead wrong. Let's stick with Tom Shaw and Rachel and Ben, shall we?

Dead wrong. We won't sleep tonight, Ben and I and I, in our big double beds. You know, he'll be tossing and turning, I'll be covering in a thin sheen of sweat, and I'll be like, was it a poor man'sau name? He'll be like, yeah, yeah. LAUGHTER We'll try and make love, but a heart's won't be, innit? LAUGHTER

So the first question. LAUGHTER What do you get when you fuse the mascot for Frosty's serial and one of the most successful golfers of all time? Time to tie Rachel! I'm going to give you a right to Rachel, I'll tell you the answer. Tend you the Tiger Woods. Correct. What do you get when you fuse the band right to the answer. Ten of the Tiger Woods.

Correct. What do you get when you fuse the band and recorded the album Rumas with the biggest fast food train in the world? Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt.

Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt.

Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Tilt. Teline Hydency. Absolutely right. What do you get when you fuse a Marmalade loving bear from Darkest Peru with a survivalist who taught your celebrities on an island? Rachel. Rachel. Yes, I think yes, he was palliative bear girls. Yes, what do you get when you fuse Prince Harry's brother with no more voices brother? Tom, Tom. William.

Give us the whole name. William, Prince William Gallagher. Absolutely correct. What do you get when you fuse the wife of Navanna Frontman Kurt Gabbain with the ITV2 dating show filmed in New Yorker? Very short, Rachel. Courtney Love Island. Absolutely correct.

What do you get when you fuse... What do you get when you fuse the village people's biggest hit with the Jackson 5 song about the alphabet? Sure, John. I wasn't listening to the French word. The Finnish people's biggest hit. The Finnish word, I'm going to, because I love for sure to get one, just for, you know, otherwise, he won't sleep.

What do you get when you fuse the Finnish people's biggest hit with the Jackson 5 song about the alphabet? YMCABC. Absolutely correct. That's right, Macomba. That about the Alphabet. YMCABC. Absie correct! That's wrong, Macomba, that is a match of... What is waiting to happen? What people should be interested in right about a trio of disabled rodents with some Ben and Jerry's.

Tom. Tom. Three blind micecreme. Correct. What do you get when you fuse a 70 sitcom featuring Frank Spencer with a leading suffragette? Tom. Some mothers do Emily Pancus. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. That's not quite correct, yet. Some mothers do have Emily Pancus.

Thank you very much. Not some mothers do Emily Pancus. That's a very different. The worst thing was I thought, oh shit, I've got a name wrong. What do you get when you fuse a film about dinosaurs with the gold chest that contain the Ten Commandments? Tom. Tom. Gerastic Park of the Covenant. Lovely stuff. What do you get when you fuse the Netflix makeover show featuring Jonathan Van Ness with Paris's most famous landmark? Rachel.

Rachel. Queer Eiffel Tower. Queer Eiffel Tower is correct. What do you get when you fuse? There's so many of these. What do you get when you fuse Dickens novel about an orphan boy with a large city in Turkey? Tom. I'll have a twist and bowl. I'll have a twist and bowl. Final one, what do you get when you fuse a BBC One series where celebs learn about their ancestors and a 70s sitcom starring John Inman and Molly Suggdon?

Sean, Sean, who do you think you are? You big sir? Well, that was our quick fire rounds. There is just time for plugs. Does anyone have anything they want to plug? Sean, do you want to plug having just done Edinburgh? Get a time machine, go back to Walgreens. You're not taking the show on tour? Yeah.

Man, come, I don't know when. It will be in February probably. Fantastic. Man, come, I don't know when. It will be in February probably. Fantastic. There's one, sorry. Yes, of course, is there one more thing? By this point, I have actually got a new podcast that will be out by then. Oh, fantastic.

It's called Sean and Elliott Read the Bible. And it's not a joke, me and my friend Elliott are reading the Bible. That's great. And we're turning it into a podcast. So it sounds like direct competition with us. So Rachel, are you on tour? Are you doing any of that kind of stuff? I have got tour dates available, solo tour dates. podcast so sounds like direct competition with us so Rachel you want to are you doing any of that kind of stuff? I have got tour dates available solo

tour dates in spring 2019 and ostentatious and my improv show is on in the West End once a month in November December January always. Are you at the Savoy? Is that right? That's right the Savoyoy. So check out Savoy Sunday's of the show. Fantastic. And where can we download your rap album? So this is the most exciting part of the show I think, because I don't know how this is going to go. Very strong final round from Pary and Sean, but how has it affected the scores? But you said Ben, what are the scores at the end of the show? Ben and Rachel have 51 and a half. Tom and Sean have 62. Oh so Ben and Rachel have to change the views. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark.

That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the good symbols in the dark. That's why I guess Sean and Tom get the good symbols in the dark. That's why I best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band. This is the best place for a new band.

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It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters this December 15th. poor things in select theaters December 15th.