Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown Revisited w/ Paul F. Tompkins & Elis James (Washing Up)

Episode Date: July 5, 2021

Hello folks. Taking a short break from Flatslams for a couple of months whilst the world rights itself and Parry writes a film. Instead please enjoy this classic episode with two wonderful guests, Elis James and Paul F Tompkins. Plus… some contemporary reminisces of that hot night at the soho theatre in 2013 from those who were there. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear. Yes, welcome to a very exciting episode of FlatShare Slam Down. We're going back into the archives and listening to what we think is one of the great episodes of the past. Yeah, it's a fine vintage, I would say. Yeah, it's one that immediately springs to mind for me. That was it. Over the next few months, we're going to be putting out classic episodes when we've normally put out brand new flat slams for the very old issues that we've got no brand new flat slams.

We've not been able to get into a theatre and record them. We will do very, very soon, but for the moment, we're putting out some classic episodes that you may not have listened to since they came out and this one comes from 2013. So I hadn't listened to it since it came out. So nearly, what is that now? That's eight years. I hadn't listened to it for eight years. It's a great episode, two superb guests.

Yeah. Paul F. Tompkins and Ellis James. Ah, whoa. Oh. guests, Paul F. Tomkins and Ellis James. Have you listened back to this episode by the way, Clarkie? Have you listened back to it? Oh, no, I haven't. That's so no, no, no, no, I wasn't asking that in any kind of, have you done your homework? No, I just listened to it.

I haven't done my homework, because I think. But I did. I was saying, could you listen back to it? You did, you did, yeah, yeah, totally did do that. And I only realised that I hadn't done that, you know, a couple of minutes ago. Well, you know what, Tom hasn't listened to it either and at least he had the good grace to not show up to school today. He's decided he's not even shown up to record the intro.

Well, famously hated the episode, so didn't even, I tell you what, everyone has a good one apart from Perry, he has an absolute shocker. No, that's not true at all. I was listening to this and it was almost like listening to other people, you know, like people that weren't us. I had so little memory of the record. I really, because I think I remember it quite vividly. Well, actually, as each

moment came back, I was like, oh, yeah, this bit, oh, yeah, this bit. And it's very funny. I won't tell people how to listen to it, but it's very, very funny because Paul F. Tompkins was doing... Now, if you don't know Paul of Tompkins, he is someone that we're huge fans of from way back. In Mr. Shoe, Mr. Shoe was like a big inspiration on what Pappy's did initially when we first started doing our shows. And obviously you'll know him from like comedy bang bang and his other podcast ventures and he is just a brilliant comedian and he was doing a run of his show at the Soho Theatre and we took a chance and booked him and I've been to see his show, I think I'd actually been to show the previous night,

really, really good. But I think this was his first show in Britain, like with British comics, and we really feel like we're kind of ambassadors for Britain. And we're doing a terrible job. He's not come back, has he? He's not come back. He did come back, but he brought comedy bang bang and didn't do any, you know, didn't do any other podcast records. Yeah, he brought all his friends with him to back him up so that, oh, I'm sorry,

I'd love to come and do your podcast again, but I've got to go and have dinner with Scott Ockermann, so sorry about that. But yeah, it's, it's a really fun episode and I hope you enjoy it. As always, if you like this show and if you wanna chuck us a bit of money because we put these episodes out for free, if you wanna chuck us a bit of cash,

go to the Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's Flakshare, where they are bonus episodes every week, tons of them now, tons of bonus content. It's such good value, our patron. It's insane value. We are so much when you sign up. We're robbing ourselves. Blind. We're working ourselves into the ground. We're still working. We're still working. Yeah, we're working. We're working. We're working. Yeah, we started working on like bonus podcast all the way through lockdown. And now lockdown has effectively ended, you know.

We're going back to jobs, you know, of tvering levels. And, well, I'm saying is clocking out here right now recording this. Paris not here. Make of that what you will in terms of how many jobs you've got to go back to. But we are, we're still churning out a ton of, of bonus content on the Patreon.

We need to slow up, but that's for us to deal with. I'm so deal with. You don't need to worry about that. You can just sign up and you instantly get a ridiculous amount of episodes to listen to. I think there is nearly 200 bonus episodes. You get immediately straight away to wade your way through. So it's got long drive coming up. Safe example. You're driving around the globe. Twice.

I tell you what, Michael Palin's just signed up. He's doing another one of those around the world to us, yeah. Fantastic, yeah, but I just saw Richard Branson. He's kicked it. He's kicked it. I'll just want Bezos to sign up. Come on, you've got the cash, mate. You've got the free time now you've stepped down.

So, a bit of point of business before we crack into the episode proper, we had a message from Connor who sent us the brilliant beef from the Steve Bajair episode, which if you haven't listened to that episode, it's a really, really good one. What a great guest Steve was. But Connor, we used expression, chining biffs. Chining biffs. Now Tom was adamant it was an auto correct from chining beers. Yeah.

Which sort of makes sense, you know, beers are something you're chid. Well, I thought not, but yeah. You thought not, Tom thought so. And I thought biffs might have something to do with the Mary Jane shipbifters. The good green, I don't, I don't. Biff does. You know about a shipbifter. The good old Mary Jane shipbifters. Oh, mate. That's why people say that's the shit. The full phrase is, that's the Mary Jane shipbif ship. I hear that if you're passing a joke round,

never give it to Matthew, because the way that he bowgats it is so disgusting. I have actually been butchering recently. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's why it's a shame we haven't been charged to hang out in person because I need someone to hold my legs. I just got to use you as a bomb. So, so, uh, kind of got in touch to say, thought you'd like to know that chaining biffs means smoking cigarettes around these parts, brackets, the Northwest. Thanks for reading the beef out. Now, we, because we, of course, thought it was, but it's, so it's, it's nothing to do with beer,

it's nothing to do with marijuana. Literally, smoking a cigarette is, is chaining a biff. Fair play. So, we're gonna go off and ching a few biffs. Fair play. You can enjoy this episode. Both of us. You can enjoy this episode with Ellis James and Paul F. Tomkins.

Couple of things. There's a little bit of, we're going to leave it all in. It's going to go out exactly as it went out at the time. There's a lovely blast from the past. Producer Ben, DJ Bucket Laus does a little advert for some live shows. I'm assuming they've happened. So you never know. So you'd have to check his Twitter for that. And also we have got a message from one of the stars of that episode with his memories of the night. Here it is. I was very pleased to be asked to do that particular episode of Flat Share Slum Don. I think it was my debut. I was also

very impressed by the way Paul F. Tompkins was dressed from memory. I've not seen a fault of this, but from memory he was wearing a kind of baby blue suit that made it look like he was selling with the shakes in heaven and a film set in the a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r So impressed, in fact, to the extent that I remember thinking, how far does the puppies influence reach? Should I be taking this gig more seriously? Should I be taking them more seriously? The gig from what I remember was a lot of fun. Watershed moment for me because it was the first time I got a big laugh for doing an impression of a Northern Irish man that did actually have that many jokes in it, but I remember thinking this is my future, if I go into voice sorbers, my future is warm regional.

Anyway I have very fond memories of this show, so I hope you enjoyed it. Alright, well enjoy the app. Lock in. Chin that bit of... ... Tom! Ben! This spoke of the kitchen! Fire! Oh, girls! Matthew, what are you playing at? The sink was on fire, so I smothered it with a teetail. Oh, well done, genius!

Wait a ruin our plan. What plan? We set fire to the dirty dishes, then the fire brigade come along, power hose them all down, and we don't have to do the washing up. Oh, well, time for plan B. I'll get out my power hose. No, Ben.

My penis, then? I've got it. We sledgehammer through the kitchen ceiling and perform a rain dance. It's a raining man. Hallelujah, it's a raining man. Oh! Why can't you just do the dishes yourself? Because then I don't get to do my dance.

Besides, you just sing the tea towel. Look, one of you two will have to do it. Well, it's not going to be me. If I'm going to wear rubber, it's not going to be gloves. It'll be my latex leotard. And it's not gonna be me, I've got issues we're doing the dishes. Well, there's only one with this, I thought this,

we're gonna have to have a... Flashy Slander! Yeah! CHEERING Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! So what the fuck is that, Flashy Slander? Oh, my goodness!

Oh, hi, hi, and welcome to FlatShare's Landown. Coming to you from the Soho Theatre in London. This is a flat-based panel show that says, No, I don't want no scrubs. Scrub is a guy who won't get no love from me. Hanging out the passengers side of his best friends ride. Try to you, hallowed red me. I'm the host in Landlord Matthew Crosby.

And while they're under my roof. I genuinely want it to start with. Scrub is a guy, I think, to spline. It's not so known, there's a bus there, but it's too long. Well, let's introduce the two guys I hang out with. It's Tom Perry and Ben Clark. Oh! Yeah. So, Tom, why are you being such a wash out? Out. Let it all out. These are the things I can do without come on.

Okay. Talk to me. Oh, talk to me. You've got to know and hold them, know and fold them. Now, um... Tom, this is turning into a music... This is basically a jukebox now, he's telling you if it's podcasted to jukebox. So Tom, why are you not going to do the washing up for us? Well, terrible incident.

Few years ago, there I was at the kitchen sink. I was doing the washing up, I slipped on some bubbles on the floor, and I landed on my face, but it was the side of my face that I had just buttered. Ah! face, but it was the side of my face that I had just butted. Ah, sudslaw. sudslaw. You know what, I'm now going to have to remove that from later in the script, dumb. Oh, I remember.

I've got about three sudslaw jokes. I've got another one, but if I'm going to do it in it for the long haul. If I'm going to do this, you you've gotta be with me at the end. Can I just say, we're in trouble. We're in trouble, we're in trouble. We're in trouble. Tommy's new standup, he used to start his sets with this. This is his opening, but listen guys,

if I start talking now, you've gotta be with me at the end. Sorry, Paul, you're gonna say something. No, I was gonna express the same outrage that you were expressing. I didn't know that was a thing we were allowed to do. Yeah, that's convenient. You know what? What you're allowed to beg. When I tell the story, at the end, you have to laugh at it.

And then you get it too. We should play the game in a second. But listen, can we talk? We're in for you, dear. Try and rush this thing. We're in for the long pole. I saw that gesture, man. But you said, Ben, this is happening.

But you said, Ben, this didn't work. We like to go to the drawing out, drawing out, Sir, gesture. I'm longer. I'm not going to do the washing up, Matthew, because I used to work in a seafood restaurant, and I used to do the washing up with a German fellow by the name of Hans.

No, in that seafood restaurant, there were people who are already against this. But maybe back on board by the end, that was the only cafe I was in. They can go as far away from the bits during the bits, but by the end, there is going to say, I'm going to say they may be back on board by the end. That was the only cafe I was in. They can go as far away from the bits during the bits. But by the end, there is going to be a standing oom, if the ball of junk is a standing oom. No, in that particular seafood restaurant,

there was a Hungarian waitress who went by the name of your face. Oh, no. Now, your face was very fond of the fish that were in the tank in that sea restaurant. There was one piece of seafood in particular. It was a little squid. It was a bright green squid, and it wasn't a very clever squid. Oh, your face loved that squid. And no one would eat it because it looked so silly, and it looked so green, and it was so stupid.

But one day, a man came in and said, I want a order that squid. And your face said, no, not the squid. He said, yes, kill that squid and I will eat it. So she got the squid, she went back into the kitchen, she picked up the knife, she said, I just can't do it. I just can't do it. The man had just said, unless you kill that squid, you're fired.

She said, I just can't do it. So they got the washer up, and the German washer up, a hands he came over and picked up the knife, he said, I'll do this. He picked it up, he said, I just can't do it. So they got the washer up, and the German washer up a hands he came over and picked up the knife, said, I'll do this. He picked it up, he said, I just can't do it. I know, I just can't do it. The manager said, oh no, hands that does dishes is as soft as your face with the mild green, fairly thick squid. APPLAUSE

What I like is cool. You stood up. Was that even a slogan in America? Well, slogans are slogans. Yes! Oh, yes! How my ideal audience member, Paul? I imagine that was a joke. What is it? I imagine that was a joke. I sucked it out. It really is amazing to see an American perspective on British comedy.

Because it suddenly really does explode the myth of the special relationships. That's it. Paul, this cannot work. I'm not crossing a Atlantic. Man, this fucking bullshit! Like it. That is the worst Paul I've talked into first, that's what I've ever heard. You remember the episode of Death Company Jam, where he came out

wearing a suit with his own face spray-pated onto that suit? So we pretty much met our other guests, but we should have a proper chat to them. Tom, who have you brought with you? Just quick, just quickly tell me if it is. Well, Matthew, the Jamboree is in town and... Yay! And the Jamboree needed a bit of sport.

It was all about entertainment. People were complaining. So, I hired the best. Was that the reason people were complaining? No, no. We'll use the opening act. Could that be the case? I hired the best, bear-n-e-c-l-p-ri-s-fighter, that Wales could toss up. It was... He's genuinely taken up boxing boxing yeah, but only in the last five days

Ellis the triple job Now I know for a fact that Ellis Ellis is only knows the triple job because he's been inoculated that's the only reason He's had his BC job. I'm not going to get German measles, no way. So, Ellis, what kind of a flat mate are you? Technically, but... LAUGHTER You know, I don't put my weight when it comes to the washing up and that sort of stuff. But I see myself as a vibe man. LAUGHTER

I'm like the sort of bezs from the happy Monday's, I'm not up for the house. So yeah, yeah, you know, if you've got a bad day, but you go into my fettid room, and some of the impressions I'll do will be absolutely top draw. LAUGHTER You're not going to do any impressions on it, are you? I thought you were saying it's up to do some fantastic impressions,

but they got back to the end of the episode. I would vibe it, based on how bad a day my flatmate had had. Okay, well, say for example, I'm your flatmate, and I've just spent a day with Tom. And he's told me a long day ever. He's told me a long-winded story that relies on a sort of Nanette-Numon pun at the end. How would you cheer me up? Well, you'd come in at my room, you'd bring up the fuck right down any of the washroom, but I'd say, let's talk about that another time.

Why don't I be a humble Scottish fish and chip shop owner? LAUGHTER So these aren't impressions of people I'll be of metal heard of. Yeah, I'd be given creative license then, so I'd be like, oh, would you like a double-battery sauce? I'm such a bar. I know, I need work. Yes, thank you. I feel chaired up already.

I am going to end the conversation to me, though. I bet maybe another Irish call, so I'll try it. It's a fight. I haven't hit this monster, get you. Oh, baby! So, Clarke, who have you brought along? Well, rather embarrassing, all the way from the United States of America. It's actually the comedy police. I didn't realise we would have such a shocker early doors.

So, it's Paul Littoggins. I'm Kim! Oh! Oh! Hello, I've been qualified which night's date, see what I'm talking of. Of America. Of America, yeah, yeah, yeah. To when you're from. Today we're trying to solve the problem of who's going to do the washing up. Are you a washer-upper? I am a washer-upper. I'm very good at it.

I will say that as a flatmate, I am as good as the company I keep. So I will either be washing up for the good of the house, or I'll be washing up in a passive aggressive and outweighed that lets everyone know that I was the one who did it. That is introductions, I hope, because we do actually need to do this podcast. I get to do my impressions.

Oh, I apologize. Do you want to cheer up your characters? What do you feel? Would you like to hear a North Carolinian bakery assistant? Yeah! I believe we were. I thought you might. Is this enough?

No? What the hell? Can you imagine the fun if we lived with each other? Let's do our one. Let's go. You better watch me up, I am a pot Get the water hot, put some remit weed in and scrub my top You better watch me up, I am a pot, I am a pot, I'm a pot, I'm a, I'm a pot You might be asking why, a pot is singing why You may think I'm high, no pot's can sing

That's just that thing, we also can re bells ring ding-ing You're winning ding-ing You're winning ding-ing I'll make a dead man come You're winning ding-ing Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, go. So, what was wonderful about that was I heard Paul, when you heard the first chords go, I think I get this. And then when he heard the first time,

well, I should be up, he's like, oh yeah, I definitely get it, yeah. You think it was going to be slightly cleverer than that? I never wanted that to end. So, the round one we're going to be slightly cleverer than that? I never wanted that to end. LAUGHTER So the round one we're going to play this week is called Bitch in Sink. Are we going to play my round where we clean an old baked bean can to impress a lady scourtin' for girls? LAUGHTER

No, we're not playing Bitch in Sink. What are we going to do? My round.? Oh, we're gonna do my round. Tweet Owl. Wait, wait. Tee-t-t-t-t-t Owl. Where? Tee-t-t-t Owl. Can I just wait?

Hang on a second, can I just say, that's gotta be three strikes in your outcar. Oh, you're nuts. You cannot have three run ups. I know what a teet owl. Teet? To make the pun, you're gonna milk an owl, is that what you're gonna do? I'm just gonna milk an owl, yeah. This is the thing I'm gonna milk too forever.

Teet. Ow. Teet owl. Teet owl. I wanted to try it. I wanted to try it because it felt like fun. I knew it was fun to say. Teet Owl. Teet Owl.

Teet Owl. Cuba-sunding, Jr. No, we're not even going to go... We're going to play bitch in sync. In this round, I'm going to give each team something annoying which they have to complain about whilst both speaking in unison. They'll literally have to bitch in sync.

So, Tom and Alex, you're gonna go first. Yeah, it's almost more fun to hear the name of the rounds than hear the rounds itself. That's what we found out. We found that out. So, Tom and Alex, you're gonna go first. Do you understand the rules? Tom and your Bible, yes.

Yes, we do. Okay, great. Let's start. Your topic is relationships. Bitch, insect. Why do the... You're supposed to go over the line. We can play any about this. Well, up here. Every time.

I could speak to my screen. I want to have the moment done the washing. Oh, how tight? Are you using the slightly misogynistic tone? I'll come on my two firsts and a thirds, we're a post for him in his country now. Okay, so why do birds always appear when they haven't done the washing up? Give us a little bit more on that, what are the problems you've had within relationships? Well, well.

Wow, well. Wow. LAUGHTER OK, right, I... LAUGHTER Can I just say Tom, you came up with this round. How can you... LAUGHTER How can you not...

When we demoed it earlier on, you were better than this. Well, I'll give you one final chance to get the moment. I can't... I'm supposed to give you points out of ten. You're in minus numbers at the moment. What are you? Well, now it's been important. We were just getting the hang of that. Now, really, the bar has been set so phenomenally low.

I know Paul, you've only been in the country for 24 hours, but you've already got a good idea. Your topic is the state of Britain today. Now Barry, my Clarkie had trouble talking on his own a second ago. I think this is the way forward for the hour. Teet, teet, ow. Teet, ow. Already you've got one point just for doing that.

After you go, bitch, insect. Why is it that I went, I look round, or I see a leg of gold and flippity' with each other. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Um... We were all thinking it. We were all thinking it. Someone had the guts to say it. LAUGHTER

Oh, so glad that was a racist. Yeah. Can I just say, you know what I'm saying? You're going to be Philippine, I was just saying. I'm going to be... I'd like to hear more be Filipino, so I'm going to be... I'd like to hear more of that, but I'm going to get extra points, because Paul, you adopted a British accent as well. So you know, from very...

Okay, what else is wrong with the state of Britain today? I mean do me a favor. Bring back the... He said it, he said it. Oh my god. Did Carkey take control for a split second there and all? Danger, danger. Wow.

I didn't know I had that opinion. So, I think the winners there have to be... Listen, Tom! Paul... Ellie is... No, it has to be... LAUGHTER It has to be purely for the use of the word,

for the living in Jimmy, I'm going to give a full ten points to... DeBairne and Paul there, I'm going to give... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE With your no points to Tom and Ellis. Oh, boy, do birds suddenly appear. I think that may have been pre-written, Tom. But it's not over yet. There's everything to play for us.

We head into flat games. GAMES! Let's play together. GAMES! Let's play forever. Roll the dice, spin that thing. Put that down. To as you told.

GAMES! If you lose, put that down. Who's your toll? Games! If you lose you get nothing. Games! If you win you get gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold!

Gold! It's a real catchphrase. Gold! It's more more a catch word. Yes, it's flat games. Well, we take a classic game and change both the name and the rules create a far less classic game. This week is our take on Tic Tac Toe, Limerick Tac Toe.

So in this round, the teams are going to make up Limericks. They're going to alternate lines between the two team members, but in what we are describing as our most underwhelming twist to date, after each line they must pop a tic tac into their mouth. We've got sponsorship, we've got sponsorship. After each line they must pop a tick-tack into their mouth. LAUGHTER We've got sponsorship! We've got sponsorship! No actually bought these. I mean, this is Harvey Inspector,

it's bought at the best of time. On an audio podcast, Christ of Life, it's heartbreaking. The listener at home will have to content themselves with the knives that whilst our ideas are stale, our contestants breath. Mindy fresh. Points as always for performance, interesting rhymes, and as this is a liberic, gentle borediness, I'll give. Points as always for performance, interesting rhymes,

and as this is a liberic, gentle borediness, I'll give you a place name for the first line, but feel free to add an adjective or profession to your humorous protagonist. So Ben and Paul, do you want fruity or minty for the tic-tacs? Fruity. Okay, you can stop that, Nathan. You can stop that, then.

When Matthew explained the romes to Paul before we came on stage, Tom said, you do have limits in America, do you? No, no. OK, so Ben, you're being the first line. So your protagonist, as we're at the SO Theatre, comes from Soho. Off you go. There once was a girl from Soho off you go. There once was a girl from Soho who did just glance down and say,

Oh no! When she saw, both her tits. She went into fix. I'll take that. Just to remind you, you're talking about a busty epileptic. Er, yes. LAUGHTER So they want to go from Soho, who looked down,

who just did glance down, and say, oh, no, no. She looked at it. She looked at it. And she went into fits. And then she went into a field to have a mo. So how are you? Oh well, almost. Yeah. You did a soft rhyme, I think it's still a hard rhyme.

It's a soft rhyme for this gentle comedy. Okay, well that wasn't a bad start. Let's play with Ben and Paul's team. I don't know why, just the script says so. But this time Paul, you can start it off your place name. Your place name. Your place name is Philadelphia. LAUGHTER Or if you prefer Philly, would you prefer Philly?

Philly might fit better in a rhyme scheme, but you know what? Don't be silly. I... LAUGHTER I accept the challenge of Philadelphia. Oh yeah. That's very brave of you as I have to rhyme with it. Okay, off you go, Philadelphia.

Liberate Tecto. A chap from Philadelphia had a rather droopy ear. He tugged on it often, and it started him coughing. and he exclaimed, I'm going to have to push you for a rhyme ball, I'm going to have to push you and he exclaimed, need the scams, sorry, can't hear. Worth the words, from the jaws, from the jaws of defeat today, what you didn't see was pulled in a celebration lap of the room after that.

It feels like I'm in eat my own. LAUGHTER It's like eight miles, if you paused it, and then fucked off a face, because the cake back had played the next bit. And I had a tick-tax. And I had a tick-tax again. Well, you get the freshman tick-tax. And another tick-tax together. Well, you get the freshman tick-tax.

I think there's something in those fruity ones. Tom and Ellis, now Tom, you can start off first. Because you're constantly surprised by what comes out of your own mouth, you can choose your own place name. Right. The once was a man from Murther Tidfeld. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Erm... LAUGHTER

..who was brave and very professional. LAUGHTER He walked with a limp. LAUGHTER Dressed his wife as a gimp. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Dressed his wife as a gimp. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Unbehaved towards her ever so spiteful.

LAUGHTER My ex-caggot, no! How can I get her out of my way? Oh, oh, oh! Everybody from the 313, put your mother fucking hands up a file on me! Actually, impression of Paul F. Topkins there at the end. Say, what? I'm a man of the people, so I had to go with the audience.

But it sort of made sense, but it wasn't a limerick and it didn't rhyme. I don't know if I can... I tell you what, you've got one more now. You're going to have to help me with this, Ellis. Your final place name is... Now I've got it written out, oh I see, where we go phonetically. Is it clan fire, Puk-Win, Gik-Gok, Gero, Wim, Draw, Puk-Klan, T-Silly, or Gug-Gok? No, it's a...

Sandvah's Puk-Kin-Gik-Gok, Gug-Gok, and Drab-Land-Sly-O-Gug-Gok. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So what? I've abbreviated to Sandvah's PG.. Well off you go, that is yours.

Climb Vypeg. Okay, there was a young man from Stanvier PG who wanted to be on TV. His... His Yeah His tic tacs go on His talent was basic Please rhyme it his part was Jurassic Jurassic. His loft was very spacious. No, but unacceptable tommos. Was Talon was basic.

He worked on a spaceship. I'll give you the half-right because I want this round to end. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Paul, when you go back to America, tell them about us, will you? If you want us to do a recap. Uh, it was a young man from Tanvo P.G. Who wanted to be on TV? His talent was V-C.

He worked on a spaceship. Yeah, he always had to key abs for his team. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well, Yeah, so you always had to key ebs for his team. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Well, we've just found another talent we don't have. Well, that route did exactly what it said out today to prove the noble and gentle art of poetry is still alive and kicking off. After that, or Erie Ferry, Lyrical Nonsense,

that's a good old fashioned argument. It's beef brothers. Well, yeah. It's going to blow up on me! Well, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a beef, it's not a beef, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a beef, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, Well, it's Beef Brothers, each week we ask our panel

to pit their considerable intelligence against a hitherto unsolved problem. This week's Beef comes from Laurie, who is in our audience tonight, and Laurie writes, My flatmate Ron is simply too pleasant. She constantly apologises for things that can't possibly be her fault, faulty electrics, my own untightiness, and is always so fucking generous,

that's so irritating. Now, this is confusing, because you're called Laurie. Apparently so. Your flatmate Ron is called a lady. A lady? You've got a lady, Ron, and a male Laurie. Yeah so. Your flatmate Ron is called a lady. A lady. You've got a lady, Ron, and a male, Laurie. Yeah. Fine.

Not judging. It's the short form of Rossin, which is a Welsh name. Enjoyable. Would you like to have that one? You said enjoyable. You're doing your own positive heckles. You're welcome. So here's how it's going to work.

Ben and Paul, you're going to be on the prosecution team. So you are going to be four, Laurie. Tom and LSU are job-instead actors, the defense, so you are on the side of Ron. But before our team is fly like a paralegal, there's just time for a quick cross examination. Any questions you'd like to ask to Laurie? How long have you been living with Ron? Not very long, just a few months. Just a few months, so it's still very early on in the housemate relationship.

Yeah, it could all go sour But she's very polite. It's kind of in that period where you should be being nice to each other I guess though. Oh, he guesses so Easy pass you're not arguing yet Any questions from the prosecution pull or bend your only questions. How do you know her? Well, they lived together mate. If this is how they... I think he meant originally. Oh, okay, I apologise. She's a girlfriend of my friend.

Interesting. I'm sorry. I will not use that in any way. Through a girlfriend of your friend? She's a girlfriend of your friend. Yeah, and he lives there. It? She's a girlfriend of your friend. Yeah. And he lives there. He's in a better one, the podcast?

Pulse up, by the way. And you've been bitching about wrong, podcast! Now it's me that. See what? And this is a strictly platonic arrangement. What? Because if that's possible. Yes. Play, please. if that's possible. Yes.

Please, I believe I have the floor. The boyfriend lives there too. Oh, this is interesting. Wait, are we on your side? Yes, we're on our first side. No, you're on your side. From his side. This is interesting. This is interesting.

Do you hear them having sex? Oh, that was an incredible... Someone did impersonation of him. I don't think it was. No further questions, everyone. I have a question. What did you think it was? Yes.

We had an issue with some trapped pigeons. Yeah. I once lost my temper with my flatmates because I woke up in the morning and I could hear all this sort of this banging. I thought, some bloody idiot has left the bloody immersion heater on all night. And I went to investigate and they were making sweet sweet love! Did you get inside that room? No, well I went and stood next to the immersion heater for a bit.

Really nice. Pretty many times I was called down. Went back to a past room and realised what had happened. Well, boys will be born to get out of that immersion. back at past the room and realise what had happened and uh... well... these two are easy boys, they're just... ...some of them are merging! Oh no! It's not what, not! How long have these pigeons been trapped?

Well, when we moved in, there were some pigeons and they were sort of nesting in the roof space and our landlords' solution was to repair the tiles while the pigeons were still in there. The pigeons are not on trial, right? The pigeons are not on trial. So this pigeon family has been walled up in your home? Yeah. And they fuck all the time.

It's called Carbine's fever. Great. Wait, it's not Wapnot? Boys, we'll be boys. What's even? Wait, what? What? What is will be what is? Okay, that is enough information for our team to make their cases. So I call upon Paul to begin the case for the prosecution. You have one minute, start it from now. What do we even know about this so-called Ron?

Her name is from a foreign place, and then shortened into the bargain. For all we know, she's trapping pigeon families in collusion with this landlord, so as to drive the orientane with this sound that could be human beings having sex, or it could be pigeons fighting for their lives. Maybe that's why she's so pleasant and happy all the time because she's covering something up. People have bad dates. Why doesn't Ron? Is it because she's crossing gender boundaries every day? I submit to you, whoever is judging this.

Is it you, Matthew? The audience. The audience. I submit to you whoever is judging this. Is it you, Matthew? The audience. The audience! My call Matthew, isn't nicknamed? Matthew. This gender-bending, false-smiling crocodile-tearsing, pigeon-trapping-ron Must be stopped before she continues.

Yes. APPLAUSE Very compelling opening argument for the prosecution. What does the defence have to say, Ellis, you have a minute starting now? Wouldn't the world be much better? If everyone was as nice as Ron, a woman who's willing to make her own sexual intercourse, sound like pigeon entrapment, has an active unity, not only with her friends, but with the animal world.

That is incredible. She's so nice because she's been blessed by Mother Nature. Mae'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r yw'r ysgol yn ymwyr i'r ysgol yn ymwyr i'r ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn ysgol yn y So he certainly heard a lot of words there. Laurie, how do you think it's going so far? I'm quite confident. Ooh. Oh, Matthew doesn't like that. It's technically quietly confident if you're saying it into a microphone. LAUGHTER What a technicality, that is.

God, you thought you'd get trapped up in legalese, but it's just, and it's a point of order, yes. Well, let's see, Clarke, now, hello. You know you are on lorry side. Absolutely. Okay, he's a man. He's a man. Yeah.

He's quietly confident. He's supposed to be that confident in the spirit of race. Yes, can do. I should do every week. LAUGHTER I mean, it starts now. Well, this is Ron, and it is her. I wish that confidence in the race can do. I should do every week. I mean, it starts now. Well, this Ron, and it is her name, who is, let's face it, we all know what's going on here. She's having sex with pigeons.

LAUGHTER And that is not something I can condone. Another season? You can't... Another reason for making... Hoopie! You thought I was going to be a minute, didn't you? It's their seconds. I love to finish there.

Yeah. Umm... She's making poor... Dlori. Red with anger. And with anger and Laurie I will ask you to not be yellow He just stand up to her. Don't be yellow Laurie. Be red. Yellow Laurie. Yellow Laurie. Whatever I was doing rests. So Tom, you're going to conclude the case for the defence now. Are you going to do it as yourself? No, I'm going to do it as my deep southern John Grisham lawyer character, Mr. Fanchall

Standard. Mr. Fanchall Standard. The pants are hitched way up. the pants are hitched way up. Factor standing and presiding, adding, indeed, providing. Thank you, Your Honor, thank you, Your Honor. Wait, is this me? My cousin over there. My cousin over there may have been using a lot of damn loud,

fine, dangled legal words, then ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Maybe using all of them damn confused and freezes there that we simple folk, we don't care to think about there. Hell, I see you there, sir. You run a bakery and you do a damn fine job of it, too. This is a small town, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You run a bakery and you do a damn fine job on me too. This is a small town, ladies and gentlemen, off the jury.

This is a small town in a world that's getting bigger. He'll just the other day there. Mrs. Standing Received one of them damn e- dare emails. What is this emails? We're simple folks around here. We don't understand no emails. You want to talk to your friend Terry, who is a girl, and that's okay ladies and gentlemen? Then you get on them dare bus andusting your travel down the sea, Dad Territ. She make a mean apple pie, and I'm not sure you tasted it.

No, this is a small town. We simple people. We how do you do? We have a nice day. We be pleased. We be thank you. We sure as hell be sorry I've been proud to be sorry you've been proud to be sorry

Ron be proud to be sorry. You make your decisions the defense risk CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It was French you're speaking in Patwyn. It was from Southern Jamaica. He was, yeah. For a while, that everything was decidedly iry with Pat-er. I didn't know I could do my prosecution or defence as a character. You would have changed. You've done enough characters already at his table. Where would he have worked? Where would he have been from?

He would have been a humble New York financial advisor. I'm not a humble financial advisor. So I'm going to say as I hope that Ryan, if that is just real motherfucking name, has got critical illness cover life for children to be some pension plan because you can only be nice if you've got your fucking financial life in water. Who's so humble? That that that that means drinking for the record that could not be used. When Matthew comes to make his decision so as much you love the idea that the audience is called Matthew.

I'm using it. I've always wanted to refer to myself in the third person. This is kind of giving me the window of options to do so. So audience, if you think that Ben and Paul, and therefore Laurie, is in the right, now remember this is about a girl being polite. Not about pigeons fucking or a bakery. Or about...

Or an Asian guy, the bigger issues, isn't it? Yes, yes. Okay, so if you think Ben and Paul, and therefore Laurie is in the right with your applaud now, APPLAUSE Laurie, you're not even fucking applauding, mate. LAUGHTER He's done a long and so quietly confident, Clarky.

But if you think fans show an LSS arguments so quietly confident, Clarky. But if you didn't fan sure in L.S. arguments, win the day. I'm bored now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE You're the first rest, Your Honor. So, Laurie, you were wrong. How do you feel? I'm less worried about this than the pigeon-fucking that I've got to go home. LAUGHTER

Good point. So the next, and indeed, final round is, of course, the quickfire round. Just let's get this going. Just do it. Get everything. This is the quick fire route. It's the round that goes really quickly. So you'd think it being a quick round would have a quick introduction It doesn't Doesn't have a quick introduction

It's kind of the joke that we do So in the past we've been accused of being too relaxed That we do. All of that is about to change Because Clark is going a leeeag trick with this mother Listen to me go Take it away, Clarkies. So when Tom left the house, we'd agree that I'd do a wailing guitar solo. That was cool, you saw. Oh boy, that boy can really play.

That's the problem, I think. It's a bit beyond me. He's been going to lessons. Very true. I've started taking lessons. And he's brought to new guitars. Yeah, I've spent quite a lot of money, but I still can't do it. Instead, I'm just going to eat a pack of the crisps. Hey, Chuck. Chuck, listen to this.

It's your cousin, you know Charles Berry. You know that you sound that G you've been looking for Well I think, I think that I found it And it is the quick file that I'm looking for My date and feel quite bad. Yeah! I feel... I feel as if I must point out... that Chuck Berry's cousin...

Gold is... It's Marvin Berry. I know what Marvin Berry does. Doesn't have the same name, but just a different form as his cousin. I hadn't thought it through like that. A panic. Don't we watch the film three weeks ago together? Oh no! Clarky really led things rip back then Stitched off, thanks bro

But you made it look pretty easy It's time I had to go Check this out It's not leaking, it's a private property! It's our property! Yeah, that's why it's all about... ...is the queen of life! Is the quit fire. What do you know?

The man who shouted Judas, excellent work. Yeah, okay, so this is the Quick Fire round. I genuinely don't think I'm doing it now. Of course, in this Quick Fire round, all the questions we're washing up based. So Tom and Ellis, let's hear your buzzers. Ben Paul, let's hear yours. Okay, excellent.

Let's go. Why was the bowl not paying attention? Ellis James. Oh, because it's just an anonymous object. I'll give you that, is that he was distracted. Why are people who pack really well for a camping holiday? I'm able to do the washing up once they get there. Because they're bricks. Ben, no, the answer is not Ben, because they're bricks.

You can say packed everything but the kitchen sink. Correct answer. Yes. What is the absolute bestest thing to wash up the pots with? Tsk. Ball of tokens. Oh, pfft. What? Eat.

Ow. LAUGHTER I got it. I got it. I'll give you a point, yeah. I got it. Brillopad. Two points to Ben and Paul. Which US rapper had a hit song night-to-night problems

but a washing up brush 8-1 L.S.J. It's J.Z. class. I'll get you a J-Class because I don't have a J.Z. Coffee even better. Why was Fred Astaire stood in the kitchen sink? Tap that thing. Correct.

Who is the cleanest horror film psychopath? Squeaky clean Freddy. LAUGHTER From a nightmare on wash street Yeah, go on Jason Oh, it's in Jason from Friday the 13th Jason. No, it's the Texas chainsaw maskers. Lather face. Oh Jesus Christ There's an opportunity to say the immortal line say hello to my little sponge

But that boy left on cuz you are no Clarkie film does Al Pacino say the immortal line say hello to my little sponge What left all of the talkers you you are no Clarkie Scarlet face Scarlet face Don Barry Rob play now you and your female partner have a male friend over dinner Sorry, it's on a hair trigger, it's on a real hair trigger. After the meal over the washing up, your friend exclaims to a lady partner, nice norks. Why is this acceptable? Why would it be okay to say to somebody, nice norks?

If they've got nice norks? Oh, lucky you fall into that trap before I know L.S.J. because we're actually in a post feminist No I'll give you a point for that It's actually that a nork is a single piece of cutlery that combines a knife and a fork Can you name any? Can you name any...

Oh. Can you name any more of those? Uh, yes. Paul, you're almost smashed to glass doing it. Sport. Sport? Yes. Any more?

A phone. Spoon and fork, I'll give it. A five. A fork and a knife. Underbend, underbend. My face is a fork on a bed. A five. A five. had a high comic bit. A spatula in the fork. A spatula in the nape.

That was just spatula. A spatula in the fork. A spatula in the fork. I'll accept a spatula. Cheers mate. You know what you let yourself in for the... You think you're self-right spatula. Any final air combos? Might as well spat, I do not.

I think that is the final question. Not only further, that is the end of that. That's our time. Those are our questions. We have a winner. I need to complete change of blood after this, but before we find out who is all washed up it's time for plunks. Patmys have a new TV show on BBC 3 this summer, it's called Baddles. By the time this goes out for the listener at home you'll probably be able to find it on a BBC iPlayer, so do check it out. If you'd like to see Patmys live, the details of Oranguigs and more besides can be found at patmyscowany.com you can also find us on Twitter

at PatmysT and Facebook, Tumblr. We have another podcast called Bangers and Mash, which you can find through iTunes or our website. Paul and Ellis, anything to plug, we'll start with Ellis. I made a pilot for the BBC called the Committee Meeting, another comedian called Chris Corkrent, and is on the IU player. Brilliant.

Oh, thank you. And I just think it's good. Brilliant. Very good. You know, I think. Ooh! It's very good. You know, three stars. And I'm not. And um... And my Twitter is Alice James, just E and I.S.

James is azute among James. You're going to have to work on your signature sign off, by the way. Uh, Paul, anything to pluck? I am available for television appearances. I do also have a fantastic podcast yourself. That is true. I have a couple. The Pod F Topcast and also the Dead Authors podcast, which is me and improvisers pretending to be famous authors

and I appear as a H.T. Wells interviewing funny people every month. Well, you have just met four. LAUGHTER Four seems to be dead authors. And if you have any beef you want to help with, you can email us at flabshareslamdown.com. The hashtag for the show is, as it always,

has been hashtag flat slam, or if you prefer hashtag benders. Produce a bend. Give us the final scores. One team has 11. the other team has 21. Yes! Hang on a second. Hang on, we'll come pick him in there. And today's win is a Ben and Paul! What the fuck?

So the winner's guest... The winner's gonna bunch of marigolds. The losers get punched by someone wearing marigolds. Thanks to both of our guest, we have Pat patty see you next time on flat chair slander Happy it's flat chair slander Beige's Nothing wrong. Very far and top-marry with special guests More than top-mages in MSJs

If you guys might have a chance to produce a bit more Give big thanks to a lot of people who came down to see the recording The Irish Rod is British comedy guys and the side-room here They're having us, and do the attachment, and they're helping Pat FlatShareSlamdown. Thanks for listening to the show. I hope you're enjoying the series. I'm about to do an advert. But after that, I've stuck an added extra from the record. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Hello, this is producer Ben from FlatShareSlamdown. Thanks for listening to the show. I hope you're enjoying the series.

I'm about to do an advert. But after that, I've stuck an added extra from the recording with Paul and Ellis onto the end of this podcast. As a thank you for sticking around. So, the advert. As well as PapiSflatShareSlamDown, I also produce another panel show,

Comedy Podcast, called Do the Right Thing. You may know it, but if you don't, check it out at comedy.co.uk forward slash DTRT. Anyway, if any of you are heading up to the Edema Fringe this August, we're recording a new series of Do The Right Thing on the 18th, 19th, 20th and 21st at 11.20pm in the Pleasant's courtyard. The line-ups may yet change, but as it stands, we've got some great guests coming on to do the show, including Simon Munnery, Lucy Porter, Sarah Pasco, who did a

flat-cher slam down last series, rival podcasters, peacock and gamble, and podcasting behemoth Jesse Thorne. If you'd like to come along and see the show, you can find a link for tickets at comedy.co.uk forward slash DTRT, or by googling, Pleasants, do the right thing. Right, Ava Over. Here's a little bit more from Paul left-omptkins and Ellis James on Pappy's flat chair slam down. You know, I also say you fellas walked me through the show before we started, but you did not tell me that you're going to play a pre-recorded sketch, and that the lights would remain up while the sketch was playing. You simply must put the lights down to...

Like the three of you have written and you appear in the sketch. You know what, we put our heads down instead, Which is a great thing. Go a bit red. We just look. I just sort of pretend I've got to write something or look at my bit of paper and then just by the time I look up you're into cheering. You start out by saying here's one of these sketches everyone hates them and we're gonna play it anyway and then I'm not sure as a guest how I'm supposed to react Are you pretending to enjoy it? I didn't know why I was kind of going back and forth Just looking around like what are you gonna do? They're gonna play these sketches, I guess and then sometimes laughing

Also issues with the dishes Also issues with the dish shoes You unpick that this entire show will unravel This really comes to comedy I've clearly been trying to I have always said that about you So obvious you go on you say you've got to go with me for this. You say whatever bullshit you've come up with. Oh! Come on Tom!

This is Ellis' first episode of Flatishest Loud. I've never heard of this before. Something with extra... I'm not doing Edinburgh, right? But I mean, I've got three weeks. I'm going to do three fucking shows. I'm going to show you more. With a lot of armbed caveats. So, there we go. Will we ever so young?

Can hear it in our voices, can't you? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm going to do a few more. I'm going to do a few more. So, there we go. Were we ever so young? Oh, can hear it in our voices, can't you? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you've been well pickled since then. I think that's the, you still got the same voice. You've preserved it.

And yeah, so, absolutely. We've got to ask you now, Clark, and you may remember what this is about, but can you say T-Towl? T-Towl. T-Towl. See how easy it is. You won't even know what that's about, but so that's a bit, you don't remember.

It became a bit of a runner. So many bits as well that I've forgotten we've sort of, we don't do in the live episodes anymore. The pre-recorded sketch. Oh, is it got a pre-recorded sketch? Which could be more. How was that to listen to again? Listener, dear. Oh, baby. Even producer Ben kept in the bit right at the end of the episode where Paula

Tomkins goes, why do you play that sketch? You tell the audience it's not no one likes it, and then you leave the lights on and we all have to sit here and it's really funny. So you'll have heard that already, listener. And yeah, so there's there's there's there's there's tea towel, there's the the sketch. Oh, the other thing is when we come up with different rounds that we're not going to do, you know, I thought we're going to do my round that we always end with some sort of pun on Cuba good in junior. That's in there as well. It's a wild ride to see how the foreman changed. So we're going to do a few more of these because, yeah,

because Paris is busy at the moment, so it isn't able to record these new episodes. So we're going to put out a few more classics over the next two months, I think. All being well, we're going to start up with the live ones soon after that. But if you want to tell us a favourite episode, then get in touch. There are loads of great ways to get in touch. Papi's flat share at gmail.com is a good one. Get in touch with us, tell us what your favourite episodes of Flat Share's slam down past are? Definitely, because famously, you know, that we never remember anything that we ever do. I think that I only remember that night

because I met Paul F. Tompkins. I think I was literally only recently I remember that episode. They have super me too. Most other people I actually knew already. So yeah, Papi's Flax here at gmail.com. Also at Papi's tweet if you want to tweet us you can definitely get in touch with us that way. And if you have a beef for us we always need beefs and we're going to record a bunch more beef brothers episodes this month. So we'd need beefs, beef brothers podcast at gmail.com getting touch and of course you can find us on Facebook and Instagram and all the rest. But all that remains is to say, T-Tail. And this episode was produced sort of by a producer of a caution. Corshroom team.

But also kind of mainly by producer Ben Walker, who did their lion share of it. I mean, not just not to, you know, not to disparage what Emma's done. I mean, it's lovely to see the two behemoths come together. Absolutely. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi-growing. They're my papi you