Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Iain Stirling & Amelia Dimoldenberg (Watering the Plants) S9E1

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

Neither "Tom!" nor "Ben!" want to water the plants, so we're going to have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!Voice of Love Island, Iain Stirling, and Chicken Shop Date’s extraordinary Amelia Dimoldenberg join Pappy's to fight it out. Features: awkward mansplaining, caravan confessions, and getting SO drunk. Iain Stirling - https://twitter.com/IainDoesJokesAmelia Dimoldenberg - https://twitter.com/ameliadimzPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatsharePappy’s Flatshare Slamdown features Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry with special guests Iain Stirling and Amelia Dimoldenberg. It was devised by Pappy’s with producer Ben Walker. Big thanks to everyone who came down to see the recording, to Emma Corsham for helping out and to The Pleasance for having us.Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is a Fuzz Production for Acast and the internet Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everybody and welcome to a brand new and very exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share Slam Down. Oh, it's a new dawn, it's a new day and we're feeling all right. We're feeling okay about it, yeah. What makes this so exciting Tom? Well, we have started a new chapter of Pappy's Flat Share Slam Down where we've moved to A cast. Yes, we've moved to A cast.

Here we are. Our new home in the past. And we are going to start putting out podcasts weekly. We're going to be putting out a series of different podcasts, but we're going to be in your ears and in your week every week. Every single year, every single week. That's our guarantee. That is our promise to you.

Both your ears. So basically the way it's going to work is every month, as always, you're still going to get your regular Papi's flat share slam down. That's not going anywhere. That's a guarantee. The live show, that is not going anywhere. And if you do want to come and see us live, please do. What we're also going to do is an offshoot called Beef Brothers Cold Cuts, Clarke. Yes, Beef Brothers Cold Cuts where we take beefs that you've sent us in via email and we discuss them, the three of us, and a very special guest, each episode. And at the end of the podcast, the guest also gets to bring their own personal beef to

Fanchoal Standard. We managed to get Fanchoal Standard. It's a big get you guys. How did we manage that? That's huge. Very busy man. If you'd like to submit a beef for the next episode, we would love to hear from you. So please send us your beefs to the email beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com. We would love to hear your beefs. We had some great ones already, but we always need more. Yes, and then our other podcast is going to be

Papi's Flatshare House Meeting. And this is where the three of us get together, sit down and just chew over the fat, spout some ideas, sort stuff out. It's almost like we were sat down around a big plate of bangers and mash and we were chowing down and talking things through. Exactly. So, if you'd like to come and see our next live show,

it is on April the 15th. Tell us about it, Clark. Yeah, it's April the 15th at the Pleasants Theatre, and we've got special guests, John Kerns and Olga Koch. So, basically, Clark. Yeah, it's April the 15th at the Pleasants Theatre and we've got special guests, John Kerns and Olga Koch. So basically listen to Deer, because we're gonna be really upping our output and giving you something every week, we're really looking for your help and your support.

We've set up a Patreon. So if you search Patreon, Papi's flat share, then you'll be able to find us. And yes, we would love to have your support. So we can afford to put the proper time in to get this done properly. We're really committed to giving you a whole load more content.

It's exciting times. It's a very exciting time, yeah. Absolutely, and if you, you'll see on the website, there's different tiers. We'll be offering lots of bonus footage. The jingle is a single. You'll be able to get the jingle from Flatchess and Down Down,

and it is straight down to you as an MP3. Bonus interviews with our guests. All the outtakes from the podcast records, priorities for our live tickets events. There's loads of cool stuff. T-shirts, stickers, a personalized birthday message. A personalized birthday message. Well, we're a birthday.

What a birthday. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b, buh, buh, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? Once recorded, I touched a good time. It was really messy and it was really silly. And there was also a little bit of, well, let's face it, toxic masculinity from yours truly. So look forward to that. I never apologize, never explain.

No, I'm gonna do both. Well, I'm not gonna explain. You'll hear it in the episode, but I am so sorry. But enjoy the episode and we will see you afterwards. Here we go. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Here we go! BAM! BAM! Tom! Tom! What is it, Mathieu? Yeah, what is it, buddy?

Well, one of you two has got a water at the plant. Whoa! Well, it's not going to be me. Look, I had a terrible time. The last time I went to water some plants. What happened? As you know, I used to be an extra in the Star Wars films. I was a stormtrooper, and I had really good archives of my times on the set.

Anyway, I went to water a plant, I missed the plant and I spilled water all over my photo albums, pictures of me with Darth Maul, Darth Vader, Darth Sidious. It really ruined my photos in the sif. Photos in the sif. My photos in the sif. Good night, everybody. Clarky, yes. Well, tonight half a round of applause. Clarky, Tom's let us down the garden path. What have you got to say for yourself?

Well, I would do it. I was very excited about it. In fact, so excited that I ended up soiling myself. Oh, well There's only one way to settle this. We're gonna have to have a Hello Yes, hello and Wallup to flat-share land down the panel show that says water plant wants water plant needs Water that makes them happy and sets them free and I'm thanking you for knowing exactly Water plant wants water plant needs whatever keeps them nice in green and I'm thanking you for watering them for me

I'm those to landlord. Matthew crossbees. Beautiful. And while they're under my roof, beautiful centre. The gorgeous song they're Christianaicolera. While they're under my roof, they'll be following my rules. Let's say hello to the tenants Tom Perry and Ben Clark. Oh ho ho ho. Hello hello. Come on, Matthew. Here we go. There we go. So Tom and Ben obviously you can't water the plants on your own. Who of you brought to help you sprinkle this week? Thomas? Well, Matthew, incredible news. The Jamborees in danger.

No! Yeah, that's right. The Jamboree that I hold every year is in real trouble. Because the food court was nearly closed. Yes. What, I don't know. It was nearly closed. Food court. Tom, I'll tell you what, for the backstory, why don't know, it was nearly closed. Who closed? Tom, I'll tell you what, for the backstory, why don't you make it fully closed? Oh, no. No, it was nearly closed. OK. But don't worry, guys, it's open.

We can all have some food. I realised, we can't come this close to crisis again. So I've called in my fast food expert from Chicken Shop Date. It's Amelia de Maldonberg. Amelia. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello. Welcome. Hi, thanks.

Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you. Amelia, what kind of a flatmate are you? I think I'm a good flatmate. Yeah, how so? Well, I don't really do much. Sounds good. Yeah. Do your flatmates. I don't really do much to, like, piss them off.

Although, there's this cat that cat that like lurks outside our door and everyone wants to like bring it in, but obviously it's not coming in. So I've said that it can't come in. You're the cool one who doesn't let the cat in. I still want to cat in house. You know what, I'm actually on your side here because firstly you shouldn't feed somebody else's cat

because then they get confused, they think that's where they live. Exactly, it doesn't live there. And secondly, it could have fleas, It could be shedding all over the place. Oh, come on. No, it's bringing love. It's bringing a good time. No, it's not. I showed me like cats. Ooh, it should install a cattle grid.

The cattle grid. It's got the word, cat in it. It's got the word, cat in it. So, Clarke, who have you brought with you this week? I bought my friend, that's it. So, Glocky, who have you brought with you this week? I bought my friend who's scottish. Oh, wow! It's Ian Sterling! Ian Sterling is here. Now, what a backstory.

I know. Oh, Ian, so you've got this. We have known each other for ten years. I know, it's bad. The only thing he knows about you is that you're Scottish. Yeah. Anyway. I'm not sure you've wear glasses.

I mean, that's literally what you're looking at right now, Glocky. Ian, it's great to have you here on the show. Thank you. What kind of a flatmate are you? Are you a catty person? I love catsie. I love cats so much. Oh, here we go.

You can't move on my own for cats. Oh, come on. What, you like a sort of old widow? Oh, I bring them all in. Feed them, confuse them all. Are you talking about cats now or all widows? Oh, anyway. Well, it's going to be a hell of a show.

So we've met our contestants, but let's find out who is going to be our raiding champion and who will turn out to be an absolute shower as we play round one. Woo! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Are we playing it. The shrub that I've got lives in a pot

Cost me 10 pounds from IKEA But what is the breed and what does it need? I've got no idea. How much do I give you? Do I give you some or lots? Do I pour a whole bunch in? Do I give you some allowance? Do I pour a whole bunch of it? Do I give you just a few drops? Do I wet my shrub?

A shrub will come tight? Or is it a really small tree? Or hang it on whatever it's dyed? The fuck it I'm trying? What a culturally? Do I wet my shrub? A shrub will come tight? Or is it a really small tree? Or hang it on whatever it's dyed? The fuck it I'm a white mushroom, a shrub like a kite Or is it a really small tree? Or hanging clam whatever is dyed?

Fuck it, I'm tried Harder culturally Silly, shrilly It's quite long Oh, it's quite long Silly, shrilly Silly, shrilly I had no idea that was so difficult to play under Getson

Yeah The thing is, Amelia, obviously you interview people from the sort of UK grime scene. Yeah. Do you feel like Tom could be on the next chicken shop day after you've seen his performance of No Scrubs? Um, no. LAUGHTER

So Rob's one is called? LAUGHTER Plant and deck. Yes, please. That's right. Yes, please don't shake your head. I have this is you paid your money this is what you're going to get. As a good lad from Southeast London you don't know how much it pains me to say the word plant as well. Plant and deck it says work. And our aunt and deck. The rules are very simple I'm going to give each player a list of famous partnerships or pairings. It might be a famous duo like Fats and Smalls.

Oh, it was, it was early in the morning when I wrote that. Fats and Smalls. They're my famous duo, Crosby. Play what? Fats and Smalls. Our survey says, or it might just be two things that go together like Mac and Cheese. They'll take it in turns to describe these two sums to their team mate, but they must do so in their best Jordy accent. Oh, I'm so happy. Oh, I'm so happy.

Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. offensive months Oh, but I don't become Indian in the middle of it Too late too late for that It's a scaring me Amelia give us your Jordi accent

What's not bad that pick Was in bad actually Now the next line is kind of moot, but points will be given for a flawless Jordi accents and correct answers. No points for any guesses that are YA'd of the mark. Amelia and Tom, you can go first. So Amelia, those are the ones that you will be saying to Tom. Those are the ones that Tom will be saying to you. So we've already established your Jordi accents. Tom, give us one quick sentence of a Jordi accent. Why don't you just let me do my thing?

Oh! Oh dear. I was worried it would go there. And me, it could be close to the wind. It's sail to close to the wind, isn't it? Yeah, could you give us your accent, please? What do I say? What do I say? What do I say? Just say this is me doing a Jordi accent. This is me doing a Jordi accent.

I mean, you know what? That's really bad. It's not good but it's not offensive. So I think Amelia, I'm saying that as a win. Okay. So, Jordan, it went to private school right there. I didn't go to private school. Amelia and Tom, you have got two minutes on the clock starting now. It's like, it's with the... It's the best thing since sliced. Oh, bread and buttermilk! Yes! Oh, with the garden of Eden pet and of course...

How many? You way? Oh, they're in the garden of Eden, Pat! And of course, you weigh. Oh! Oh, they're in the bungalow and it's a... It's a... Oh, a van, Dick and Dog! Yeah, yeah. It's early doors for Dick and Dog, but... Whoa!

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Banner, I'm an Iron Man! Yes! Oh, it's from a Chinese restaurant today. It's the thing that could own the chicken. Sweet and sorbet restaurant today. It's the picnic on the chicken. Sweet and sour. Yeah. Oh, it's awesome.

Jepa, that's awesome. Oh, these two Irish lads are having the fringes raised. What? What? I don't know. What? I wish people. These two Irish lads are having a fringes raised. Oh, my God. What? How do you wish people? These two Irish lads are about to have a French race!

Get it! Oh my god! There's one of two of them. Okay. Oh, it's... It's most... The really boring drink that all the people get at the bar. Oh, gin and tonne of soy.

Yes, yes! Oh man, sick! Can you see by the dawn's early light, bear? Oh! Oh man, sick! Can you see by the dawn's early light? Back! Oh! Salute the flag! Come very way, it's something. Oh man, salute the flag.

Lay this. Donald? No. Donald Trump loves a bit of this. Let's go. It's on the salute the flag, man. Oh, sick, I can't use C by... Lipety's touching the thing the flag, Pat. Oh, say, can you see by... Lippity's touching, lifting.

No, it's... It's the sign of the flag, Pat. Oh, it's not sports on the flag, is it? Stars and stripes. Oh, yes! Yes! 10 seconds. Oh, the Lion King and it's the two people that are really not doing much,

but then they come back and they go, Oh, that is your time. You're all for lot of you. Oh, well done. APPLAUSE Oh, man. Jordi's must be so exhausted. I've never been in the last week.

Actually, my cheeks hurt. It's how you really brings out the veins in your forehead, Tom. I must be knackered, those Jordi's. So producer Ben, what did you make the scores there in terms of how many they got correct? Nine. Nine points there.

How many are we going to take away for the accents though? That's the question. I've never heard Pumbu and Timon. Sorry. Pumbu and Timon, yeah. It is Timon and Pumbu, but we will also accept Pumbu and Timon. If they say Tonic and Gin, I still would have accepted it. So I'm going to give you also as well for the accents

out of a possible 10 each. I think I'm going to give Amelia a two. And Tom a one. I think, wow. That's, I mean, it seems. I thought you better than me, but I'm happy with that too. I mean, you should be. So it was not a Georgia accent at any stage.

No, I know. Ian and Ben, it's your turn now. Here are yours. Who's going to go first? Ben. Can you go first, please? Ben is going to go first. Are you mad? Why, I... I can't believe it, not... Just keep doing that. How close does it help, please? It's Jordy Close to Scotch.

No. Yes, the same. Yes, the same. The plane right into his hands, you are? It isn't at all. Basically, the same thing, man. Wait, that doesn't even sound like a sky-jaxons. You asked the question in the door.

Okay, let's... How did you get fired off of Ireland? Well, I did a podcast episode. Okay, so, here we go. Your time begins now. Oh, two of us. Oh, talking. Okay, so here we go your time begins now I And then no one within one of us Cutting but the other way round

Yeah, sprinkle them on your chips And those two of them some pepper yeah I know it's two of them. Some pepper. Yeah, that's the way around. Oh, my love. Oh, it's where you got to get all your push, all your push food and all your sesame. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, there are comedy double act. And Jim yours is real name. But they don't call themselves that. I don't know, man. Okay, they're showing stars, they're not. Oh yeah, look, I have a big reason for bottom bottom bottom. It means he's the one.

I'm so on. Oh, man, I'm right. Oh, right, right. You're popping your toolbox and then you're popping on your scrumming. All right. Nailin. Nailin' hammer.

No, you're scrumming. No, you're putting through one way. Did you have the one through the other way? Did you screw one on to the other? No, I'm wrong, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying's got a band, but she chorus, I've got to be making. She sings lovely songs. And it's her and she's got a band. Oh, Florence and the machine. No, the other way around. The machine. Yes.

I'm regretting that bit of it. Oh, there are also another singing double-act there like from the 80s and they do like well song No, no, I want to play sick it down the other ones like a good soul singer that is your time I'm afraid you have any idea who he was trying to get you to guess yes, go on. I'd rather not see I can throw it over. Solsinger from the 80s, double act, any idea? Hall and oats.

It was indeed the other way round, please. Watson Hall. Watson Hall. So a bonus point there. Juicy bit. What do they score on that one? They scored six. They scored six. And I think, I mean, they won it's points.

They weren't great. They were well strong. But I think I'm going to give... Are you kidding me? You haven't even heard what I'm going to give him yet. I'm actually going to give Ian... Yes, me too. You're kidding me. And I'm going to give Clarky... Three. No. B.

So, can I go down the grove? You want to lose all credibility as a judge then? Be my guest. Could I tell you now I've never heard a Jordi accent. That should... I should have done my research. So producer Ben, at the end of that round, what has that done to the scores? What Ben and Ian have 11 and Tom and Amelia have 13?

Oh! So Ben and Ian are looking a little bit wet. Whilst Tom and Amelia are high and indeed dry But that could all change we play round two it's flat game Whoa Let's play together Games Let's play forever

Roll the dice spin that thing, put that down To the set of goals Games If you lose you get nothing Games If you win you get nothing, games. If you win you get gold. Gold, gold, gold. Listen to that. Listen to that, I'm here.

I'm here to get the love it. That's the sound of a YouTube channel in the making. Let's get this shit on YouTube. The Gold Gold Gold Channel. With 40 subscribers. You do realise that Gold Channel already exists, so we might get to it. How about we go for Gold Plus? Oh, that sounds good, yeah.

So this is flat games where this time we'll be playing our version of the board game, Mastermind, which we're calling Mastermind Your Language. Now just by a quick cheer because this is quite an old board game. It had a picture of a man and a lady, sort of quite glamorous looking man and a lady on the front. No way. Yes, I know. Shockey. It was a different time.

It was a different time. It was a different time. Men and women were allowed to fraternise. On board games. On a board game, yes. I wasn't allowed it, not at home. Give us a quick cheer if you remember the game. Oh, fantastic.

Now, they were a weird couple, weren't they? What was going on there? It was very kind of bond-filling. What's it? He was like, sat going straight down the lens and she was kind of like, sultry and all kind of, ooh. I tell you what, this, Tom has definitely been

on a caravan holiday where it's the only thing you can find to masturbate to. That was a thing. That's the bad thing. That had all of the mastermind, master babe. Oh, that's a bad thing. It's almost fairy. Now, I'm just top-staring at the mastermind, master B. No! Thomas, Barry, now, topstabinately, man, you put me off. She's, honestly, an early memory of mine.

OK, all right, Tom. Tom, I always wondered why the man looks upset on the box. Anyway, let's move on. Let's move on. So if Google it, Google what, you master B. Oh, it's there. Don't give me one. So if Google it, Google it, you must have been terrible. Oh, it's there. Don't Google it.

It's there, all right. Cool. So this is a game which is incredibly complicated to describe, but very easy to play. So stick around. Stick around. That's all I've learned from you. So I've like masturbating in a carabiner. Your parents are there.

You've got limits. You've got to be quiet. The walls are thin. Sorry. So, in Mastermind Your Language, I'm going to ask each contestant in turn to write down their top three favourite slang terms for a particular activity.

Okay. In a caravan. Not locations, slang terms. So say, for example, if it was flat-chulence, my top three would be farting, guffing, trumping. OK? So I would write down, thank you so much. The other contestants must then guess this top three

in the correct order to win the points. So how many fortunes? It's a bit like family fortunes. It's a lot more like masterminds. Yes. LAUGHTER So how many fortunes? It's a bit like family fortunes. It's a lot more like masterminds. Yes. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Go, fine. LAUGHTER Although family fortunes, no, I go. To my activity in a car. OK, yes. LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER Oh. Ah. OK. Now, if they guess... If they guess a word or phrase correctly, and it's in the right place, they score a direct hit. If they guess correctly, but it's not in the right place, they just score a hit. And if they don't guess the correct words at all, they get a miss. So Ben, you

are up first. Do you have a piece of paper in front of you there? I would like you to write down your top three words or phrases. I'm going to allow phrases as well. Oh my god. For your nation. Okay. Oh, we got a little bit. Thisogie Woogie. Boogie Woogie. Boogie Woogie. This is me playing. He's an older brother, I call. This is the music I imagine happens in Tom's head when he's just not getting it.

No, I'm not listening. Okay. So Ben, have you written down your three words? I have. We are going to work along the line. We're going to start with Tom. Yeah, OK. Can you guess please, your top three words that Ben has written down for your

nation? Number one, pissing. Oh, god. Oh, god. Wait. I mean, have we offended you with the word pissing? No, no. I didn't know what your breaking point was going to be.

No, sorry. I didn't realize that we were involved in this thing. Oh, yes, no, so the idea is what's going to happen is, tommy. It's a bit like family fortunes. Okay, so I write down my three. It was like a scene from a Jane Austen film, pissing. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm un-possessed. Also, are you less than to the 15 minute bit when we talk to a whanke in a caravan?

I was. Sorry. OK, so you don't have to write down your top three. You have to write down what you think Ben will have come up with. But that, based on what Tom says, because Tom might give you some of the clues. I think I've got some actually hits to it. So Ben, you've got yours written down. Tom, let's hear your three. Number one, pissing.

It's a firm favourite. Number two. You don't need to comment tree Tom, just give us the three No more one, pissing. It's a firm favourite. No more two. Don't need a commentary time, just give us the three. No more two, wing. Let's go back to school, it's where it all began. Like I say, no commentary needed. No more three. Imagine you're a family for it. No more three, the teenage years taking a slash.

So... Oh, one, two, three in that order. Well... Ben, so you've got one direct hit. Oh, you've got one. I'm going to say almost direct hit. It's close, but it's no cigar. Direct hit.

And then you've got one miss. OK. We've got one direct hit, one almost direct hit. The phrase thing is a little bit off, but it's key. And then P. What? No, it's key. No, it's key. And then one miss. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So number one. Yeah. No, sorry. That was one. My sad one.

You can't do it. You can't do it number three. Okay. It's a number one or a number two. Okay, first is pying. P-ing. Pying? Pissing. Pissing. Number one. Pying, pissing, number one. Number three is number one.

I'm doing a number one. You have one hit. Oh. Two misses. Oh, yeah. It's sterling. Number one, piss. Yeah.

Absolutely. Number one. Number one. Two misses. I'm in here. Yeah, Ian Sterling number one piss Absolutely number two instead of slash I'm gonna go with splash Okay I'm gonna splash and then number three instead of we I'm gonna go with P Piss splash P I'm afraid to say you've got one direct hit. Oh Tom Parris back to you. I'm gonna go for number one I think number one is pissing and I think we can all lock that down like it definitely is because we both said it and we got one direct hit Don't rain on my parade mate. I'm not afraid. I'm a person. I'm a dumb person. I'm a chips

Number one, piss. Number two, I'm going to go for having a wee. We wee, wee wee, I'm going to go for wee wee. He's going for wee wee. I think that was my almost right hit last time. So, piss, wee wee, and number three, I'm going to go for Whittle. Whittle?

Whittle me this. Whittle, he's throwing it away. Piss, wee wee Whittle. One, two, three. Clarky. Well, I can tell you, you have two direct hit. Oh, back. And you have one, I'm going to have to call it an almost direct hit. Oh, you're painfully close. As I am, I'm going to do it all three. Okay. Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. Um, just let... And... Number one. Piss. Pfft. Darn. Number two. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Weewee. No wee. Weewee. Weewee. Weewee. Number three.

Piddle. Pfft. Ooh. You have three directives. Yeah! You have three direct Okay That was this is a good game and a tense game. Have you got to do it three more times? I know You clearly have not seen this podcast before.

Welcome to the... No, I'm a little bit... Well, this is a show. This is a quet quad. I mean, you're up next. Please, would you write down your favourite three words or phrases you'd use to mean innebriation? Innebriation, please.

And what are we going to be favoured with this time? DJ Bucket Louse. Okay. Is this session music? Some of the few tunes he's been working on the garage. This is the Greek dance. This is the Greek dance, of course. Fans of an episode of...

My co-the festival. The Joe Lysit, Mike Bobbins, have you seen it? Joe Lysit, Mike Bobbins episode we had, a bit of Greek dance for us all to enjoy. Amelia, have you got your three words for feeling nebriated or being a nebriated? Does anyone else think him right now? I play this. I play this on holiday or something.

Long card, aren't they? If you're going on a caravan holiday, you need to find things to pass the time. This is like cards against humanity for people with personality. Oh, there's the time. This is like cards against humanity for people with personality. Oh! There's the review! There's the audio quality. Leave it five stars on iTunes, everyone. Please do.

Now, Amelia, how are you doing? You got them? I'm good. I'm just hoping that I know what that word means. Probably. OK. Let's start this time with Ian Sterling. We'll start with you. We'll work around three words for inebriated.

Trashed, hammered, fucked. LAUGHTER Which was the original name for Snog Mary Void, wasn't it? Um... LAUGHTER No. No. The clever thing about Mafia's done there is that joke

would have worked whatever I said. What have you said? What have you said? Got it down already. So why he is a fantastic comedian. I plan ahead, guys. I plan ahead. Amelia, talk us through it. Miss, miss, miss.

Oh! Whoa. Clarky, we come from other side of the track. OK. Can you do any better? I get to go for pissed, sloshed, three sheets to the wind. Oh, wow! Oh! Amelia.

No, no, no. It's miss, miss, miss. It's heartbreaking. Okay, Tom Perry. I'm going to go for drunk. Hmm. I'm going to... Because I'm a traditionalist. I'm going to go for steaming. I'm going to go for

shit-faced. There's one near hit. So there's one near hit, Ian. Does that mean a hit or does that mean that I word that was close? Right words. Right words. Right words. Right words. It's missing something. Oh, but in the right place? What do you mean? Is it in the right place? It was me and order. I don't know. OK. I don't know. Look, can we all just play family fortunes? But I love them, God. It's the one that's near is the second one. That's not really how we play but okay So the second one was near but not quite the right words. I said drunk steaming shit face. Oh, okay

So I said number one drunk number two steaming number three shit faced. Oh You've actually got Sorry, okay, so you said you're a little him mansplain Sorry. Okay, so you said you're a little hitman's playing to the other team. Well, I don't want to do now, so give it back. I'm going to say you've got one near hit. I literally want to see it. Did you get this? Oh my God.

That was so much fun. The cheapest game ever! Listen, guys, can I just explain right? When I say, yeah, you can explain. Yeah, you can, yeah. Let's... Oh, you... Oh!

This is the most one I've ever had in this podcast. Can I just apologise? First of all, if I did anything wrong. Oh, boo. Okay, so you get on the game then. Yeah, we get on the game. Okay, basically the one you got right was the drunk drunk. No, don't tell you us.

Don't tell him that, okay, but that's been told, and it's actually you're right to do so. Ian, what do you got so far? Drunk. I would just say drunk, different. Drug. It's a good point. Oh, no, no, it's not what's up on him. Right, I'm going to go with. Sorry, I think I've ruined.

Ruined, ruined. No. Okay, you're in a great position where you can change the fucking rules of this whole thing. Yeah, and no one here can say anything. Ian, if you'd just like to say them really quickly so that nobody interrupts you, I'm not going to say that the person interrupt you is not doing the game properly, but if you just say them really quick and then Amelia could give her answer,

but you're sort of standing in the way of her playing the game properly. So, this is what you want. We've turned on ourselves. Ruined drunk key. Drunk key. Drunk key. Drunk key. Ruined, drunky smashed. OK, miss, near hit, miss.

OK. I'm going to go for rat-a-st, liquid, drunkard. Rat-a-st, liquid, drunkard? Rat-ast, liquid, drunkard. No, miss, miss, miss. I feel really bad, I feel like I've just got the wrong answer. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. I'm going to go. Thanks.

Thanks. I'm going to go for wasted. No! Because I listen to women? Or just look to Ava at my sheet. Sure. Okay, so you've gone for wasted? I'm going to go for wasted.

Yeah. You're going to go for tipsy. I'm going to go for a bit drunk. I feel like people have got confused. Yeah. The drunk one is in the middle, not in the end. Again, a different way of playing, sure. That is for them to work out. But you know what? Sometimes I'm a stickler for these silly rules I make up for myself,

and it's just a breath of fresh air. I do it differently. OK, I'm going to go. Number one was did. number two, tipsy, number three, drunker. Okay, direct hit. Miss. Miss. So Ian, any idea? Wasted. Drunk. I just, how... Crosbyd.

Crosbyd. LAUGHTER Really? I'm not drunk right now, but I wish I were. Well... Okay, one more from Clarky now. I think we may have to let. I know. I'm not a Clarky, I love you.

Come on, Clarky. Wasted. Drunker. Drunker. And equal opportunities. Borders. Point to art, if I believe. Wow.

Okay, Amelia, will you tell us please what the answers in fact were? Who will be the answer? I'm going to be the answer. I'm going to be the answer. I'm going to be the answer. Borders point to art, if I believe. Wow. OK, Amelia, will you tell us please what the answers in fact were? Who will be answered, OK? Wasted. Yes. So drunk. Don't boo her.

If you've got a boo, boo me. You were great at it earlier on. Boo. OK. No, I at it earlier on. Boo. Okay. I don't want to say that. And the final one, because you'll see what we're dealing with here. But the final one, please, Amelia, that we're all supposed to guess. Sorry, I left without saying anything.

That, my friends, is how we play. That my friends is how we play. See, my one would be a wish I'd left though, seeing anything. No points to anybody. Ian, it's your turn now. Your top three favourite terms for ejaculation. Oh, please. Oh, dear. There's no need for that. And what thing we listening to right now? Oh, dude, there's no need for that. Yeah. And what thing we're listening to right now? This is called Manic Moment. Yeah, moment.

Damn, street. We've all had one. Okay. Ah! I'm saying I'm crying. Okay. Ian, do you have your top three written down? In which case, we're going to be in with Ben Clark.

Hello. What do you think Ian has written down as his top three words for ejaculation? 1, 2, Spunk, 3, Caravanjuice. LAUGHTER Miss, near her, direct hair. Oh! Taps up! Did you rock at roll?

Oh my god. This episode has had my favourite and my least favourite moments in within about 15 seconds of each other. God dammit. Okay. I am absolutely sorry I didn't say anything before. Tom Perry. One, spunking, two, jizzing, three, caravan juice. Direct hit. Mess, direct hit.

OK. What did you say, the third one? So we've just got to get that middle one now. Oh, my God. OK. Spunking. Excuse me? Spunking.

Spunking was in spunking. Was in spunk or spunking? Spunking. Spunking. Spunking. Spunking. Spunking. Spunking. Spunking. I think at this stage we'll accept both. So are you are answer is spunking spunking. Spunking. Spunking. No, spunking. Look, we're at party in auction. Come. Caranjus. Spunking, come, Caranjus. Mess, direct hair. OK, Clarke, back around to you. So I'm going to go spunking.

Did you do Giston? Yeah, did Giston's mate? No, I did two. I'm a dovey with my family. mate, not two, I'm a dovey with my family. Is everyone see that new film, Sponking with my family? Oh my god. Okay. Okay, I'm going to go for Sponking, the good stuff and Caravangers. Sponking, the good stuff, Caravangers. Direct hair. I wish it was a direct hair, but it was a mess. Direct hair. Tom Perry. Spunking, foreign one off. Caravan juice.

Same again. Emilia. Spunking, sorry. And the right ladies. Oh my god, it's good to be alive. Direct hit. My go for the degree director. But mess director. Can we hear the middle one? Scottish thing. Sponking, spath.

Oh! Yes! Big go! There's a big go over there! Full house! It's the first time Spath has ever been cured. Yes, we have a spath! Congratulations! Come on down! So finally, if we got the energy to do it one more time, which I believe we all do, no, this is the show now.

I just say, what are we going to do this time? Can I just say madam, thank you, because when no one got that, I thought, have I created a word? And now it's not the time to let people know that. But luckily. Well, thank you very much to the person in the audience there for backing up the spath.

LAUGHTER We've all done it. Not only around week two of the Caravan holidays. OK, so finally Tom. Hello. I think this has been... Oh my god. It's been quite a grubby round so far. This is the best thing that's ever happened.

So let's keep it with... Copulation. Your top three... I don't know what that means. Um. LAUGHTER OK. Well, don't the kids call it that? So what are we listening to now, Peter Ben?

This is called clowning around. It's called clowning around. What can you swap why I call copulation Okay, Perry have you got your three Then Amelia can I ask you if you could kill the music please Three words for copulation sex Fucking banging banging is it a double? Is it one low and one high? Banging. Oh, it's done. It is what I do.

Oh, it's a banging. Okay. Just the one, just one bang. One direct hit and two misses. Oh. Okay. Installing. I think Tom Perry uses the phrase banging.

But for at least it's sort of... I've never seen a man. That vein is really protruding on the tiny head. You have walked... You have walked... You have walked into a pub on a Sunday. Guess who was bugging? LAUGHTER He's barred from a lot of pubs.

Top's off, obviously. Top's off. So what do you think? What do you got there? Rotting. Rotting. Oh! Penetrating. Oh.

Rotting and penetrating. I've got really worse. I just forgot context. I got so clear with the banging thing. I hadn't written anything. You got the ruttin penetrating. Ruttin penetrating. Banging. You have two misses and one direct hit.

Oh, I got all the information I needed. Benedict Clarke, what you got? Gonna go for making whoopee. Direct hit. Bumping ugly's. Bumping ugly's. I love it. And then banging. You have a direct hit.

You have one complete miss. And you have one that's half on the way to being a hit. Ooh. Ooh. Amelia, how does that make you play? Okay. Shaking? Oh, I class it.

Absolutely class it. I went with penetrating. Penetrating and rotting in here as well. Should we do some penetrating tonight? Oh, Rodney to the spath! That sounds awful. Oh, rub me to the spath. That sounds awful. Okay, shaking, banging, making love. You have...

I don't know. I have three hits. Not direct hits. Ian, this is yours to lose now, mate. Right. We've got two cracks on the right. Right, he's put banging bottom, which is a lie, that's his number one. So he's trying to make himself seem like a better person.

Which would suggest you put any therapist I've ever had. You've seen to the very corner of me. Which would suggest you put making love at the top, shagging, banging. You have a direct hit, a direct hit, and a direct hit. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Ian Sterling wins the point in that round. You think you're...

Oh, my God. Well, that was a rollercoaster. That was a soap opera. There were heroes. There were villains. That was me What a ground That might be the best friend we've ever had that might be my favorite round we've ever played What is it done to the scores though produce a bend? Well, it's given them both five points So Tom and Amelia have 18 better than it have 16 right So Tom and Amelia have 18, Ben and Ian have 16. Right. Now, there are many different words for a flatmate-based problem.

A squirrel... No, a squirrel is not one of them. A squirrel is one of them. A squirrel! A cramble. Amelia, could you please read this bit? I think I'll get off the line. I'll get off the line.

Give it to me. There you go. I'll give it a spit. There you go. Now, there are many different words for a flatmate based problem. A squirrel. I'm sorry. Ah!

Sisters are doing it for themselves. I did on purpose. I did on purpose. A squirrel, a squample. A squample is set to a disagreement, but there's only one that counts round here. And that's beef. Let's play beef brothers. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, because you've got a problem, calling a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you, a beef brother's sorting out your beef. Yes, it's beef Brothers. Thank you. Where each week we ask our panelist to sort out a flat-shared-based beef, and today's one comes from Cat Mercer.

Where are you, Cat Mercer? Hello, Cat Mercer. Hey, Cat. Hey, Cat. So, Cat Mercer, I'm refreshing it. It's time another female voice on the panel. Cat Mercer writes, every time my mum or dad comes to my house, my flatmate is always in a state of semi-neudity.

EG, boxes, towel, loose dressing gal with nothing underneath. This makes for an incredibly awkward time for all, especially as said flatmate is fairly well-in-doubt and quite tall. This means when my mother is sitting down and he walks into the room, said bulge, is it direct eye level for her? So, Amelia and Tom, you are on the side of cat. Obviously. Obviously, well, not in Tom's case. Ian and Ben, you are on the side of the flatmate. You don't have to give a name. Is there a name you'd like to give him?

Yeah. Nick. Nick. Why have you given them that name? Because it there a name you'd like to give him? Yeah, Nick. Nick. Why, why have you given him that name? Because it's his name and I want to shame him for it. Good stuff. Big Nick. Good stuff. So you all strapping lad.

Big old Nick. Big old Nick. Big old Nick. Big old Nick. Swinging his stuff. So, we're all big fans of Nick here clearly. And before we actually begin the cases, are there any questions you would like to ask off-cats?

Where is he? LAUGHTER Um... No, that... Your parents, how often are they round and why? Do you find your mother just turning up? Inventing reasons? I just thought I'd call mine to see how you're doing. Do you find your mother just turning up? Inventing reasons.

I just thought I'd call mine to see how you're doing. I'll just sit down here at eye level. I'll just sit down beside the bathroom. Yes. Where is Nick? Where is he? Like once to twice a month, maybe? Once to twice a month.

Once to twice a month. Quite a lot, isn't it? And then I live close by, or is it a 6, 7 hour drive? They live quite close. OK. So what reasons do they come round? To see me? To see you. Sure. Sure to see you. To see you. Yeah.

Boring old cat with all the clothes on, sure. I'm not going to be on my side. Tom, that's one of those. You can't. No, Tom, that is conjecture at this stage. OK. OK, yeah, all right, cat. at this stage, okay? Sorry. Okay. Yeah, all right, Kate. Also, you're on her side. Yeah.

I was about to see I'm getting confused. I'm not getting confused. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think you brought him more specific than that. She didn't see Nick and she said she was sad that she didn't see Nick. Oh! Now we get to the meat of the piece. I would have been held at that location. I'm acceptable. OK, any questions from this side? From Ian or from Clarkie?

You live near to your mother? We just found out in a half of it. We just asked that one. Oh, an hour and a half? Yeah. And on. It's not that near. Do you not visit her? No. Oh, that would and a half! Yeah. It's not that new. Do you not visit her? Um, no.

LAUGHTER Ah, that would be ludicrous. Yeah, too busy, mate, too busy. Feel free not to answer this question. I'll do it. By on a scale of one to ten. I'll answer this question. Ten being well and zero being not very.

How in town is your father? LAUGHTER CHEERING Oh, dear. We didn't just win, we didn't come down, mate. Nothing. How did you father? Oh! Oh my god! We didn't just win, we didn't come down, I mean. We didn't say nothing. Order! We've hit an auto, we've low.

Welcome to the love island! LAUGHTER So, Kat, you don't have to answer that question. Does anyone have any other questions? I'd love if she just went, ZEN! Is he single? I mean his desperate to know.

It makes, in the case, some thing about it. No, and he's also tragically a homosexual. Whoa, hang on. That's what I was talking about. God, yeah. Whoa, yeah, yeah. Right here, no, it's actual. Whoa, first crossbeak now, you, what is this?

Can I just say, playing that? You can say, no podcasts. Can I just say, opinions to yourself? Can I just say, video? Can I just see a video? Can I just see a Macros be applauded that like, I am off the hood? This is... That was Apple. A tragic news.

A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news.

A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic news. A tragic one. Remember, you're on her side. So, don't plant that seed in the jury's mind. So, Amelia, I think you've got enough to begin. No, I don't. The case. Well, it's happening anyway.

So, your minute to begin the case for the prosecution begins now. Well, interesting case. God, look, I've got a lot of notes down here. The only one is homosexual. No, this is tragically homosexual. tragically homosexual. Which is sad. No, it's not sad. It's great. You should be You shouldn't be doing that to your parents not

Especially as he has a partner. I mean, are you okay at this stage because he's got a partner. He has a partner. He has a partner. We've established he has a partner. You have three seconds left. Don't do it. Don't do it. That's well done.

Very strong at the end of the argument there. Quite a lot to get your teeth into there in that argument. Ian, you have a minute to begin the case for the defence. Your minute begins now. I would have quickly told you a story about a poor innocent young man who wants to just go around and spend his day in his flat, relaxing, chilling, maxing, and sparring. Until his evil flatmates, rings around his predatory mother To spy on him because he just so happens to have a slightly larger than average penis. If twice a month she is there with her glasses looking,

he's tried to cover it up, boxers, towels, dressing gown, not my words, the words of the accused. Yes. He has tried everything to cover up his penis but your mother will not leave that man alone he is not homosexual but tragically so according to the heathen okay that is your time oh my goodness he is turning there open the case for the defense cat can I ask you at this stage how do you think it's going so far?

Not great for my character. I feel like it's been a bit of an assassination, but you know what? This is an ugly mob and they'll turn it on a six-pence One second you think you're trying to help the next your mansplaining. It's It's a slip-and-strike. Yeah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Tom Perry! Tom Perry, my dear friend, Tom Perry.

Hello. Are you going to be prosecuting, as yourself? No, I'm going to do this in the style of a deep-south defense lawyer from a John Grisham novel. Oh, yes. Yeah. Tragically Southern. Mr. Fan Shaw Standard.

Mr. Fan Shaw Standard presiding Fan Shaw stand in presiding any date Providing your minutes should you need it begins now? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury Hell yeah, we are we small town foreground here. I can see a few of you there You've been confused by all these big words there from damn dare lawyers from the big city day. Hell, now around here we simple folk, eh? Hey, we shepherds, we debakers, we bind the books in the book factory. The book factory, lifeblood of this small town.

Build them books and Shepherd Dem sheep. The two main industries of this town. Bill, it's an easy job. Careers advisor. He's ruining the game. You over six foot? You over six foot? You mouth-dare with the sheep?

What are you doing? Shorter than that? You get in that day book factory boy. Band and books. Ben, so that no one's explaining anything to him. We simple fall. I had a really good case and you just... One moment dear little lady. Poor woodhorn in.

My secretary there. I did it above a station. Talk about this lady. Oh, I'm glad to show later. Oh, I'm fine, sure. She knows I think we won this. Hasn't it been a minute yet? It feels like it. We gotta say it in that daybook factory. When Dan Books come rolling off the old production line,

that's easy for you to say. Look at that déc cover of that book. Can you judge a book by the state of it? Yes. Of course you can. Shit cover, shit book. Shit cover, shit book. No further questions, Joel.

That was Fan Show stand in there, presiding and providing. Now Ben, you're going to close the case full of defence. If you can remember what the case was in the first place, your minute begins now. Well look guys, I think what we're all doing here is not focusing on the real victim here. And that is Nick. And here, let me tell you, I sympathize. I myself often try to cover up my amazing body, my, let's's face it humongous, bulges. Don't know why I went plural there, that doesn't help the situation what? 10 seconds.

Four months, bulges. All I'm saying is guys, we need to be more careful about the female gaze. Oh, I've just lost it. The tragically female gaze. The tragically female gaze. That is your time, Ben Clark. So, I can't obviously adjudicate because I'm a man. So, instead, I call up on the pleasant audience to decide,

if you think Amelia and Fan Shore and therefore Cat is in the right about you to applaud now. Oh, what's up, me? Wow. It's cool, great, thanks. Yeah. Well, this is swinging worse than Nick. If you think Ian and Ben made the best case, applaud now. APPLAUSE

Rod, give up. Kat, I'm so sorry they ruled in favour of Nick. Next, next, it's my favourite bit of the show, a nap time. Or as I call it, the quit far round jingle. Let's hear it. Every time it's the round that goes really quickly. Always, man. Which is why it really should have a quick introduction. That would be logical.

Should have a quick introduction. But instead it's got this And believe you me Sometimes I wish it was quick I wish it was just something like Let's go quick fire And then the quick fire ran starting People probably stopped and they're like,

Or just something like, Quickfire buzz! And then we're just jumping to it But instead we have to do something longer It's a joke that we're starting It's really got out of hand And sometimes inspiration strikes and sometimes it doesn't And I'm sad to report that this is one of those times

We've got nothing made We should just start the quick far round, but instead we're still singing. Oh my God! He is dear! Our time will just get on with the round that is quick. Our apologies for not coming up with something better, but I guess beggars can't be choosers don't you know. So enjoy, oh God we're still singing. It's time to enjoy this. Here we go, boys. The quick fire round.

Let's go. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Ah. And what a pleasure to see someone who's never heard it before. Just, uh, just enjoying his surprise, right? Enjoying it with fresh ears. Come on, let's say I it before. Just enjoying it. He's been doing it for years.

Come on, let's say when these Instagram YouTube stars have small tattoos on them. So in this quick far round, all the questions will have flowers or plants in their answer. So for example, I might ask you to name a build-up of material in the urinary tract, but add a flowering plant. I would of course be asking for an orchid knee stones. That's what we're asking for. Yeah, I...

How hard is that? I think these are too hard. Just going to tell you now, I think, and I wrote them, and I went through them earlier on and I couldn't get them. So let's see how we do. Instead of buzzers, why don't you shout out your first name? Ben and Ian, let's hear that now. Ben?

Ian. Tom and Amelia. Emilia. Fantastic. Question number one of 37. No. Question number one. Give me a type of makeup applied to the mouth, but add a flower famously from Amsterdam. Tudic stick. Yes, Amelia.

See, they're not that hard. Yes, brilliant. Good. Name the Prime Minister of the UK from 1997, 2007, but add a plant that people often kiss underneath. Bet. I mean, it's all Tony Blair. It's all Tony Blair, it's what I was after. Give me a penis, shape, sex toy, but add a Welsh flower. Tom.

Diffodildo. Diffodildo. Name the lead singer of Durand Durand, but add a miniature tree. Oh, Simon Le Bonzai. Simon Le Bonzai. Simon Le Bonzai. I have no idea what's going on. Name the most famous Narnia book, but add a yellow weed flower. Ben, the dandelion, the witch in the wardrobe.

Yes. Very nice. Give me December 25th, but add a yellow and white flower. Tom, E.E.E. Christmas Day is a. Christmas Day is his correct. I was going to say, so drunk. What is the opposite of poetry? But Adoromantic Red Flour. Tom, Tom, pros. Pro's is correct. Oh my. Name a popular British soap opera, but Adorflower commonly uses a buttonhole.

Rose and... Rose and... Corrine Street. It's not Oregon. Yes. Corination Street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. Cornish street. I'll give you half a point. It's not even that. Ron Weedsley? No. Ron Fistle. Not Ron Fistle. She said Ron Fistle. She said this. Somebody said Ron Fistle, but you didn't also have to repeat it.

So it's... Ron. Dishonese Leaf. It was, in fact, Rhoda Den Ron Weasley. I'm evil. Oh, my goodness. Final one. OK, final one.

Final one. Give me final one, final one. Give me an orange drink that comes in a piercable pouch. But add a tall yellow seed plant. That's a pretty sunflower. Capri-top flora is correct. Those are our questions. That's our time. But before we find out the final scores,

Amelia and Ian, have you got anything you would like to plug? Are you guys going on tour? Have you got Twitters and stuff like that? You want to plug? Ian? I just... Um, follow me. You know what? That did feel like my fault again there, so... Amelia's. Um... Amelia. And you will get your chance, Mr.

I don't want to say anything, because I think it's really lame to be like, follow me. Oh, is it? What, follow you where? Follow me. Follow me. Follow me, yes. Follow, no, I don't know.

Just thanks for coming. Yeah, thanks for coming, guys, Emma. And I'd like to just thanks for coming. Yeah Thanks for coming guys Well, I if you haven't already checked out chicken shop date on YouTube It's really good Ian honestly it's fine. Okay The way you're both doing you don't need our numbers to pump it up do you so Thank you as always coming on to the live show. Do you want to do one? Do you want to plug something? Why do you do mine now?

Do you plug us on your stuff? If anyone sees me in the street, I'd like a beer. Thanks very much for listening. Thank you very much for this live audience for coming down and seeing it live. If you do want to find out where to see this live and follow us on Twitter to find out If you would like to leave a review on iTunes five stars ought to do it and do put your favorite word for ejaculating Just just that and five stars and we'll know

Just sorry five stars. We're very happy with that Five stars. We're very happy with that. I'm so drunk, folks. Also, if you would like to donate, you can go to Shit Yeah Money.com and donate to the podcast. So, producer Ben, what are the final scores? Ben and Ian have 19.5. Tom and Amelia have 24.5. Yeah! So, Ben and Ian get to water the plants.

Whilst Tom and Amelia get to enjoy a couple of lines of plant food That's right. We're off for a three-day Miami. I bender don't wait up. Thanks to our guests Ian Sterling and Amelia de Moldenburg We have been happy to see next time on Happy's flat. Yes, land down You've got to be banged like and top-parry especially guest Ian Sterling and Amelia de Moldenburg I'm surprised by perhaps a few to men walker big thanks Ian Selle, going to be the development book. He was demised by Patrick's and producer Ben Walker. Big thanks to everyone who came down to see the recording to ever caution for helping out and to the presence of a having us.

Patrick's flat-share slam down is a first production for A-Cast and the Internet. Cheers everyone by and can I just say I'm so sorry. I am so very, very sorry. I love your good night. Listen to the deer if you enjoyed that episode, I'm very sorry. would love your money. Thank you so much and see you next time. Cheers everyone. Bye!