Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Josh Widdicombe, Sara Pascoe and Steen Raskopoulos (Organise the 6 People Picnic) S10E27

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” book the Zoom call… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!With Sara Pascoe, Steen Raskopoulos and Josh WiddicombeFeatures: Scavenger hunts..., dropping trowels and film snobberySteen Raskopoulos - https://twitter.com/joshwiddicombeJosh Widdicombe - https://twitter.com/joshwiddicombeSara Pascoe - https://twitter.com/sarapascoePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Greetings, listener dear. We're back with a bang and a plumb and a bomb. What? We're gonna detonate it in your ear canal It's an audio bomb. Don't worry. It's just a podcast. I'm Tom. I'm fed and I'm Matthew and welcome to an episode of Papi's flat share Slamdown. Good morning! What a bombastic start that was Tom. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Well, can I shock you now? What have I nicknames at school was Mr. Loud? Ah, I wish it had been Mr. Monbastic. Well, well, well. We're back with another flat share lockdown.
Starting point is 00:00:52 No, no, flat share slam down that was recorded exclusively on Zoom. I said no, it was being sponsored by Zoom. Yeah, I mean, I would say that most podcasts are being recorded exclusively on Zoom at the moment. But it was also- It was special. Yeah, well,, I would say that most podcasts are being recorded exclusively on Zoom at the moment But it was also a special. Yeah, well, we are we are special and that's not let's big ourselves up This is a very special episode It was indeed recorded over zoom. We streamed it live on YouTube Thanks to everybody who watched it on the day, but you can hear the episode now
Starting point is 00:01:20 We have some amazing guests in Josh Whitacom, Sarah Pasco and Stine Roscopolis. It's a rare, three-person show. A trip guest show? Yeah. Fun fact, the last triple guest show, also had Josh Whitacom on it. It was recorded at Mac first, and it had Josh and Nish and Kiri Prachard McLean.
Starting point is 00:01:40 We basically don't think that Josh is strong enough to be on... Is it? ..with two people. He's not got it. He's not got what it takes. But let's not tell him that. This was a great episode. It was lots of fun. We have lots of fun doing these live Zoom records and it's always really lovely to have a large audience there watching along with us on the night. So if you want to take part in that and join us and watch us live,
Starting point is 00:02:04 then we're doing another recording next week on the 8th of July. It's in fact tomorrow, on the 8th of July. So it's the 7th of July. It's the 7th of July today, man. Yeah, we're putting this in. Yeah. We're putting this out on the 7th of July.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Putting out on the 7th of July, tomorrow Wednesday. I thought it was May. I thought I was in May. I'm carrying on. I know what. I'm glad we on the 7th of July tomorrow Wednesday. I thought it was May, I thought I was in May. I'm carrying on. I, you know what? I'm glad we're not in May. I mean, I wouldn't mind going back to like February or January, but you know what? Oh, May would be a...
Starting point is 00:02:37 But not May, not like. No, thank you. So, yeah, so we've got two amazing guests on that. We've got Adara Obrion and we've got Sophie Duka. They're both brilliant. It's going to be very exciting to see them. So you can see them stream live onto your computer as it happens if you go to eventbrite.co.uk
Starting point is 00:02:55 and search for Papi's flat share slam down. Or if you just go to our Twitter, it's the Pins Tweet on there. Tickets are five quid. They're free if you work for the NHS. We would love to see you there. And yeah, come along and have fun. Meanwhile, enjoy this episode.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Trip guests! Pfft! Torn, Ben! Greetings, Matthew! You're a little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack.
Starting point is 00:03:19 You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. You are a tastey little snack. Thank you. You are a tasty little snack. I'm a tasty little snack. I don't really. You're down in one, say that.
Starting point is 00:03:27 What the fuck, bite. Bite size. One bite size, bite size. That's very true. I am a tasty, I am a tasty little snack, but don't try and butter me up right now. One of you two has got to organize the socially distance picnic for six people.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Oh, well, it's not, it's not going to be me because as you know, I've had a terrible experience with picnics. I've got Teddy's based around my favourite bands from the late 90s early 90s, and they caught hair lights. I have to take a day of the week to look after each bear that was themed around one of my favourite bands from the late 90s early 90s and let me tell you, Tuesday's the day for a Telly's Bears having his nits picked. For a telly's. Oh, for telly's.
Starting point is 00:04:10 For a telly's reference. Tuesday's the day for a telly's bears having its nits picked. Do you know what that has taken, there's nothing about that I don't enjoy. I'm half for all the words in it. Should we take a break? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It was a joke so good that it killed the interval. That's not exactly how I would put it. I'd put it the way I literally put it.
Starting point is 00:04:45 And Ben, what about you? Oh Matthew, well the last time I went on a picnic, it's that we so long to choose the right container for all the food. I ruined the whole experience. It turns out being picky about picking the right picnic camper, hamper's the perfect picnic. Well, there's only one way to,
Starting point is 00:05:05 it's a gorgeous bit of business. There is only one way to settle this. But could you have referenced the one-butts? I mean, that's what it was lacking. I have a pigeons detective reference, just lined up. If you could have only had dropped the pigeon detectives into that,
Starting point is 00:05:19 then it would have been sublime. Let's go to break! Yeah. LAUGHTER Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss We're gonna take a quick break now. This is the test icicles. Here I am. Well, there's only one minute settle this. We're gonna have to have a flat. Flashes, flat. No.
Starting point is 00:05:39 We're in a flat. Flashes, flat. We're in a flat. Flashes, flat. Flashes, flat. Flashes, land, there's a show without me. Flashes, land, there's a show without me. Flashes, land, there's a show without me. Hello, woe indeed, parody, woe is me. Hello, and welcome to Flashes, land down, the panel show that says, I think I'm gonna be said.
Starting point is 00:05:57 I think it's today, yeah. The girl that's driving me mad is going away. She's got a picnic tonight. She's got a picnic tonight. She's got a picnic tonight, but she don't care. I'm host Alan Lord Matthew Crossby. We're live on YouTube. So let's on Bob O'Loughey.
Starting point is 00:06:20 My team is on Harry and Ben Clark. Whoa. This mean we're famous YouTubers now. Can that go on the CV? Absolutely right. We are the new Logan Paul. All five. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Finally, the first thing to go on my CV. Celebrity boxing match anyone? Don't mind if I do. It's Harry. If you had to fight Clarky in a celebrity boxing match, obviously I'm not going to get involved. Who do you think would win the two of you? If you had to fight Clarky in a celebrity boxing match, obviously I'm not gonna get involved. Who do you think would win the two of you?
Starting point is 00:06:48 I, Clarky would destroy me, I think. Yeah. He's a beefcake, he's a beefcake, isn't he? But I think I would win the psychological battle. Oh, yeah, you'd be like a Schwarzenegger, you know, you'd get inside his head, you'd crawl around a little bit, and that would defeat him.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Just as he breaks my nose, I'd whisper some kind of barbed effort that will stay with him for years. It'll be a pun about the Fratellis, won't it? Oh, absolutely right. He'll go down for the count. Right, but listen, you guys can't organize the social distancing picnic for six people on your own. You need someone to source the delicious vegan scotch eggs
Starting point is 00:07:25 and by source, I don't mean slather them in ketchup. So, who have you enlisted to help you tonight? We'll start with Ben. Ben, who have you brought tonight? I bought my babysitter, Josh Wittigah. Hello. Josh Wittigah means here. Josh, thank you for coming on the show. It's an absolute pleasure.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Now, what kind of a flat mate are you? And how are you enjoying being a flat mate in lockdown? I don't think I'm particularly, no, I don't. I appreciate you honesty. Yeah, well, earlier on, as you saw in the sound check for this, my daughter was crying upstairs and I was more focused on whether the door insulated the crying than whether we could stop her crying. She had a selfish element than whether we could stop it. I think it's seven thirty day. Come on. She's got to understand it's it's podcast time, right? It's it's podcast the clock. Daddy's got a pod.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Daddy's got a podcast. It's got a pod, baby. But generally, how are you in how are you dealing with lockdown? Are you surviving? Yeah, I think I've had COVID-19, but obviously, can't say that. But I still haven't got my sense of smell. I still haven't got my sense of smell. Really? So you can't smell anything? I could smell like very strong things. But I left the gas on in the kitchen about a month ago and didn't, I didn't know. My wife was on. Oh man, you really are a bad man.
Starting point is 00:08:49 It's been a flat mate, total chips for your hair. You can't even smell your daughter crying. Terrible, terrible. Yeah, she's crying because the gas is on mate. Harry, who have you brought along with you? Well, listen up guys, the Jamboree is in danger. No. Yeah, I know, yeah. We've started letting couples back into the Jamboree,
Starting point is 00:09:14 but they've been mingling, they've not been keeping socially distant. So I've had to hire the most glamorous couple I know to demonstrate responsible social distancing. It's Steve Ruscoppelis and Sarah Pascale! Steen and Sarah here. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Hi, Sarah, hi, Steen. Let's talk to you individually first.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Steen, what is Sarah like as a flatmate? She is great. I'm definitely not blinking behind these sunglasses. Just do not send help. Fantastic. Mama, I love you. Hi, this is why it's been holding up a couple of today's newspaper. That's what I want to know. That dog's jaw is firmly round its ankle. Please look at the second letter of every headline. You're on the scissors. And Sarah, what is steam like as a flatmate?
Starting point is 00:10:13 When we're not under lockdown, I think we do prefer having time apart as well. I think that's one of the things we miss is not the constancy. That's a different stuff. Yeah. And when do you think that's going to happen? Do you give yourselves a little bit of time to just go out on a walk on your own and just do nothing for a bit?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Or are you going to get into this box? Are you going to get into walking in on my mistress FIFA? Yeah. OK. And yeah, so steam likes to play FIFA to kind of just calm his mind. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm. He exclaimed with joy and then told me I've got my new badge is a rainbow pug.
Starting point is 00:11:15 And I shouldn't have to hear my partner say that. Like, where do you go from there? What's the right... I'm not the only one to see for boy. Yeah, what's a rainbow? What have you, what have you, I'm not to get a rainbow pug. That's right.
Starting point is 00:11:30 So basically, you know, you put in the hours, because when you put in the hours, you put in the time, the plays respect you. And then the game respects you. And I do like a big bad second, have a my stadium. So when people of different places around the world get to play in my stadium, when they see a big giant rainbow pug now.
Starting point is 00:11:49 What does sounds delightful. Thank you. Thank you, Krosby. What the list doesn't know is that a steam is eight years old. It's absolutely adorable. See, adorable. It's just great to have a hobby. And you know what, Sarah, you're a fantastic opeair to him. You really are. I'm wearing a spaceship. Which means you're 40. So, so we've had our government allotted allowance of six people. But let's find out if today is the day these teddy bears have their picnic as we play for Towns 1. Can I pick me? Don't shake a hat! Can I pick me? Separate man! Can I pick me?
Starting point is 00:12:46 Have your own show for my long? No! Can I pick me? Well, you can, but if you are doing what you're told, then the invite to your pick should be sixfold. You're brother, mother, and your lover just for instance. And then three others who can keep the social distance. Hope your mother and your lover start to get along,
Starting point is 00:13:03 and those three others join your brother in a sing song The song we sing it is about something specific Ask him the question over over, can I pick me? Yes you can, can I pick me? This women over there, can I pick me? Do you need us a lad? Can I pick me? No, hold me back, can I pick me?
Starting point is 00:13:20 Don't shake a hat, can I pick me? He's separate lad! Can I pick me? I'm your own kid, shagging a hat. And I pick it. Can I pick me? On my long. Oh. Gorgeous work there from Paris and Clark. I really enjoyed that. There we go. Lovely. Lovely. I could have gotten to the bathroom, guys. Yeah, you could have done. There was definitely time for a break,
Starting point is 00:13:40 though. That felt like a break to me. At least in this round one, which we are calling pick a nick. Now, I'm going to give each contestant a list of famous people called Nick, or variations on that name, Nicky, Nicole, etc. And a list of foods. In their teams, they've got 90 seconds to, through impressions and clues alone, help their teammates guess as many of these foods, slash famous nick combos as they can.
Starting point is 00:14:04 So, for example, if I were to say, hey everybody, I'm a doctor on the Simpsons eating a plant-based version of what a chicken lays covered in bread crumbs. They would of course know that I was being doctor-nick from the Simpsons with a vegan scotch egg. I should say, of course, today's show is sponsored by Art Lilly's vegan scotch eggs. Vegan scotch eggs contain either scotch nor egg. Right. Tom, Sarah and Steen, you are up first.
Starting point is 00:14:33 We will start the 90 seconds now. OK, I've baked some cupcakes or something. Oh, and I'm crazy about it. And the cupcakes have got things on top of the cream, like, like, I was in Kana. In Kana. In Katofe. The Tinkerbell would eat these cakes because Tinkerbell.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's being next! I went out to the sandwich store. We have a 6 inch or a 12 inch. Oh, it's so big. Yes?
Starting point is 00:15:14 Oh, big air, so big air. Nick Minnard. That was amazing. Oh, I'm an Australian musician. Sometimes I'm a Australian musician and sometimes I'm Donovan. Nick Cave. Yes, yes. And I'm meeting these small people. Why is there a pit in them? This should be a piece of olives. Oh, no, I want an independent country to eat this meat
Starting point is 00:15:41 in a bag. country to eat this meat in a bag. I'm going to cut out your heart. Oh, no, no, no. Like someone wears a mask and then they cut out someone's heart. Yeah, yeah. I was a Scotland, John. Oh, yes, I want the big Mac. No, no, I'm a burger.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Yes, yes, yes. God, Scottish is hard to do. OK, but we can't do an impression of this person because obviously you wouldn't know. OK, that's the time. I'm so sorry, Sarah. It's good, it's lucky. You've never got Nick Bateman from Big Brother.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Oh, no, no. Oh, tricky. A tricky one, a tricky one. We're about to lead on parry there for that. But Tom, can we just very, very quickly hear your Nicholas Sturgeon again? Because Rory Bremmer has quaken his boot. He's not got long for his career.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Let's hear Sturgeon again from you. I said I want an independent country with my bag of stuff. Oh, fuck, you know. Oh, well. I feel like my Greek grandfather, Tom. Thank you, my son. Oh no! I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I Okay, before we get into more of a comfortable territory, let's move on to Josh and to Ben.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Now, you've got 90 seconds to not just pick your nicks, but tell us quick what they're picking on. So bad impressions. Listen, I'm not just bad, I'm bad at knowing, I'm bad at impressions, but also knowing. Listen, you're going to be great, just, just, they don't have to be as good as mine, don't worry, they don't have to be as bad as mine. You're going to look so good after this parry, it's unbelievable. Okay, so your 90 seconds starts now.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Is it me? Yeah, go, go, go, go. Ho ho ho ho. Oh, ho ho ho. Oh, some Nicholas. Yes, and ho ho ho. Can I get a question? Yeah, thank you, mate. Cheers.
Starting point is 00:17:45 It's like a cold dish. Oh, God, you have to keep doing this. It's a cold dish, but it's an expeditio, can I? Pass the salad. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. OK, I'm a politician, and I'm going to be liberal with one of these things that are laid by a hen's.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Do is do is do is do stuff towards. Yeah, what's up? Nick Clegg. Yeah. Yeah. Do the Nick Clegg do the Nick Clegg voice, though, Clarkie. I am Nick Clegg. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah. Nick Clegg. Nick Clegg. Right, right? Right, right, right, Clegg, yeah. Um, all right, um, Bloody hell, Del Boy. Um, what are you gonna put this cheese on? Oh, uh, Nicholas Lindhurst with crackers. Yes! Oh my God, I'm counting! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Papa, what will we do with all these chickpeas?
Starting point is 00:18:46 Nicole Hammers. Yeah. This is too clever. Okay, oh God. I am sorry. Is Nicole Hammers a singer? I go through. Am I also too clever?
Starting point is 00:18:56 I think I'm gonna sort out your garden or present the national lottery, depending on which of my two jobs it is. And while I'm doing that, that's an uncanny impression, Josh. I think he's a cockney. That is your time. That is your time, I'm afraid. Josh, that is your time, Josh. That is your time, Josh. You can't have a rule this, okay? I'm going to get into it, then. Clark, if you've got any idea, as Josh was so deep into that game.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Oh, is it the guy who does the IYSOS? Yes it is. Can you tell us what his name is? No one knows what his second name is. Oh, nicknoles. It is of course, nicknoles. It is of course, okay, so, Perry, Steen and Sarah, you have another 90 seconds.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Sarah, you start, okay. And remember, you can't do Nicola Roberts, okay, you've got to strike the one for the record. No, no, no, no, no. I'll go down to the next one. Okay, absolutely. Okay, all of them, they do sound very similar. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Your 90 seconds begins now. Oh, I love being in charge. Yoda. Nicky Yoda. The big country. I was not Rampus dear skin. The German. No, no.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I know it's Nicholas Angler. Oh, look. The Kumbling, where I live, is it being done? So I'm Nicholas being in charge. Yes. Nick, right? Yes. I was going to go into the putin. I have deleted the email.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I have deleted the email. I accidentally touched my phone. I have deleted the email. She just made one up. It doesn't matter. I'm very serious. I'm very serious after I deleted the email. She just made one up. It doesn't matter. I think it's just rage. It's rage. It's rage.
Starting point is 00:20:48 You watch right now. Okay. Um, um, oh hey guys, uh, I don't want to be in a girl band anymore, so I'm just going to sing at the front row. I did a show, Joel Dham and I think for a show. Oh, from their pussycat, do you know that's me? Nicky from the pussycat dolls. Yeah, it sounds like Arnold.
Starting point is 00:21:04 It's Nigger, but not, you know? Oh, Nicky cutels. Yeah, it sounds like I'm a You know, Nick is shursinger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a band camp flute flute no the movie which I'm Type Don't know next guess was gonna be type of You don't know. Next guess was gonna be after Apple pun Hey everyone actually time on the
Starting point is 00:21:33 If anyone can get it from hey Thomas just Thomas just being in Tells no, that was quite good. I thought can anyone can anyone get it? Well, can you just hear the clue? Can it was hey if I'm cool. Is that right? Hey everyone? I'm cool Can you just hear the clue again? It was, hey, if I'm cool, is that right? Hey, everyone, I'm cool! I'm okay, Scopulous. Oh, yes, I'm okay. It's a very not-nick.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Nick, I see him, Scopulous. Are you? Any idea? You... Nick. Nick. Are you not going to take me? Nick, I'm not going to take you.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yes, yes, Josh. Nick. For me. It's not Nick for me. That is a cool name. Hey, everyone, I've got some cool views. You guys are really out of these things. You're the out of the way. There's a guy called Nick Ferrari.
Starting point is 00:22:14 You guys are. Is he on radio one? Oh Nick Ferrari. Yes. Points for all of us there. So Josh gets the point there and of course we we race We race into the next the next section the fact we got a good impression of this next one Oh You're ready for that Alan Lamborghini
Starting point is 00:22:41 Ben Clark Josh, Whitacom off you go your 90 second starts now So Lord sugar. I'm not sure about how this team's doing. Oh, that was raised, I bowed. Oh, I'm sorry about it. So, on the apprentice, I'll know that much. Yes, and I take Nick from the apprentice. I've got a tiny little red things that you think are vegetable but are actually a fruit and that's a bit of a boring fact you know those little oh yes I know what you're talking about yeah
Starting point is 00:23:13 abatamaos yeah oh Gemmy tomatoes yes nothing worried about that fact now that we enjoyed that fact it was was great. Good at times. Points. There's more where that came from, guys, if you want them. Good day. I used to go out with Tom Cruise. Nicole Hebbin. And, and, oh, I really enjoy these, these, these cheesy treats
Starting point is 00:23:40 that the mummies to put in your lunchbox. Treesy cheats. The cheesy treats. Very late. Yeah, you your lunch box. Treesy treats. Treesy treats. Very nice. You dip away. They're in the junkers. Yeah. Oh, junkers.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Yeah. I'm well. Yeah. No, no. Great impression. Great impression. Playing the older, what on my plane? Are the old bass guitar?
Starting point is 00:24:02 Yeah, by the way, and this is great, bananas are a herb. Oh, he's on that slip-man. There's another one. There you go. That's unrelated. That's unrelated to playing a white. And by and related, you mean not making the edit? But that's how the English is played in India.
Starting point is 00:24:17 The game in India gives you the... And the thing I like is... Tiny little dots of pasta. Tiny dots of pasta. And it's like like rice but actually it's pasted. That's your time I'm afraid. Is it Nikki wire and cuscus? Hopefully it's pasta. Josh has been smoking the bloody herb. If you think it's cascus in the pasta, am I right?
Starting point is 00:24:48 It's producer Gwyn there. Can you tell us what that has done to our scores, please, producer Gwyn? So, the scores are after that round. Then and to much have seven, and Tom Sere and Stene have six. Oh, my God. So Ben and Josh are in the lead. But will they keep Tom, Sair and Steen as socially as it's two meters away?
Starting point is 00:25:09 We will find out after this. Break. No! Yeah. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
Starting point is 00:25:23 A woman plotting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters this December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly
Starting point is 00:25:48 deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com
Starting point is 00:26:22 monetize their podcast everywhere. eqs.com Josh and Ben are in the lead, but will they keep Tom, Sarah and Steen a socially distance two meters at bay? Let's find out as we play round two. It's flat games. Yeah. Gaze. Let's play together.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Gaze. Let's play forever. Roll the dice, spin that thing, put that there! Do you toll, games? And nothing, games! If you win, you can go, go, go, go! Yes, it is flat games, sponsored by Art Lillie's vegan scotch eggs. How do they make them so salty? And today we're playing our version of the board game risk, which we're calling lyrisk But we all know lyrisk is the name of this round. I love I love I'm like Giving Matthew a hard time about the name of a game that he came up with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Is that what you hear it coming out of someone else's mouth? It sounds less convincing. How would you say Tom? Oh, it was bad coming out of my mouth, but I was like, I like the sound of it more when I'm saying it. What Tom makes is he prefers himself to me. So, as we all know, risk is a game of global domination, but lyrisk is a game of vocal translation.
Starting point is 00:27:50 I'm gonna give each contestant the words to a popular song which I have run through Google Translate. They'll then sing their song and their teammate will guess both the song and the language they're singing in. One point for the name of the song, it's one point for the language and it's up to 10 points for the performance. Right. Ben, you are up first. Now I've sent you the translated lyrics. Have you got those there?
Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Now take us on a magical trip to a foreign land in song. Josh, I'm looking for the song and the language please. Ben off you go. Say, eres, me fugo, el luj, cortesco, crei, sanudio lo kiotei e smenera per us
Starting point is 00:28:52 Samdumunno separatosaona I'm pretty. Beautiful. I don't like it. No, it's not that much. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, he was singing our hope is named after the courses. I want it that way by the back street boys
Starting point is 00:29:47 Is correct. Yes, and in what language do you think? Well, it's one of the romance languages isn't it? I'm going to go with Welsh Don't give up the answer definitely I'm going to go with Spanish. Spanish is correct. Fantastic works. CCC and Senor. Two points there to Josh and to Clarky, I think, for the performance, I think I'm going to give you eight points. Eight points.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Don does the points. You're too much. Our show pointos. Congratulations there. Well done. So next up, Tom. Okay, did you get the lyrics come through to you? Ready and waiting, baby. Okay, next up is Tom. Which part of the globe is Tom conquering? And with which tune that is for Stine and Sarah to work out? Tom, take it away please. Foules votre koo, Sheesh ton ami, Et quantu me,
Starting point is 00:31:08 Tru vela vune, Sheesh sheres blue, Ne me, De peke se nava pala panda se, To ne pu, Pa me deke se neva pala pandu moorii, to never put me there. Kissa never put me there. I don't want to be there. You say it let's have right.
Starting point is 00:31:31 You say you say. J'le fait pour. To. Oh, that was absolutely beautiful. Really was. That was. There was plenty of syllables in there. We're in there bloody. Yeah, we're in a lot of syllables in there. Were there blood here? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:45 You know, a lot of syllables, but a lot of heart as well, a lot of heart. Yeah. That was from the Kevin Costner Robin Lehood. LAUGHTER Wee. In French and it was everything I do, I do it for you, but Brian Adams.
Starting point is 00:31:59 True, correct. Two points to Sarah and Steen. And I mean, that was, that moved me to the verge of tears, honestly. I almost did an eye-way. Shall we have a crying break? A little break to week. A short crying break is all we need. And I'm going to give you nine out of ten there for that.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Yes! What a crazy one! Really beautiful. Now Josh, we'll sing a tune in a mysterious foreign language, but Ben, named the tune, and the language. Have you got it, Josh? This is tough. Okay, ready? The Likterns are on.
Starting point is 00:32:38 M'yap and Niyethiose. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. The Likterns are on. Theos, theurgis, and yet, and jiles, your hearts are beat, your liquorice is not hankers for no day.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Wait, I'm just moving my Gmail down. No, she got a singing right? Is it Father Christmas? It's Father Christmas, isn't it? Come on, this is bang on. It's bang on. You couldn't, this is back on. It's back on. You couldn't, this is back on. Excuse me?
Starting point is 00:33:07 I couldn't, it's an e-tip. Oh no. Oh, we've lost, we've lost Josh. It is, it is bikes. It likes, it likes, it's got a protest. Josh, stop, we've lost you. We can't hear you anymore. You need to change your mic. Josh.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Change your mic. He's still going. He's just leaving to the rhythm. He's trying to do a deep vein or not you. He's got a full craft work. He's lost in music. I suppose I'll have to go back to the start. Yes, I think so. Yes, you're not going to go
Starting point is 00:33:46 I'm joking I'm not to the chorus Yes please Cross be foamy today to say you're familiar with this song and I'm not as familiar as I remember Right Right Shall we dare head on the Ogamowatzean? No, that's wrong.
Starting point is 00:34:07 I must have it right now. Oh, yeah. I thought I knew what it was until you just did that. Well, put it in your mind, I'd say. Yeah. And the rest was bang on. Okay, I think it's a dictated to love. Yes, it's correct.
Starting point is 00:34:22 It is German addicted to love. Yeah. Really good. And I can give Josh now. Yes, it's correct. It is German addicted to love, yeah. It's really good. And I can give Josh now out of 10 for that performance. I mean, I've got to be in 11. I think I'm gonna, you know, technology was against you, but also so was your talent. So I'm gonna give you six out of 10 for that. Six out of 10 for that.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Oh, very generous. Very kind. Oh, I can tell you what as well. Clarky, what language do you think it was? Uh, well. Ha ha ha. He said, it's not German. He said German.
Starting point is 00:34:54 It's not German. I'm afraid sorry. It's Dutch. It's Dutch. That's why I said. No, I'm afraid it was Dutch. OK, so finally, a duet from... You're even Dutch accent, Clark, you're crying out loud.
Starting point is 00:35:06 I'm sorry, I'm sorry and that was that was Bangalore. Finally, a bangalore, didn't trust it. And finally a duet from Sarah and Steen. Now Tom, tell us the ditty they're singing and the dialect they're offending people in. We're going to do the boy bit and then the girl bit. Right. Maybe not in that order though. Maybe not in that order.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Oh. Sub me, what's my jam? Bistou glichis di maden weld. O de bras du mer. Gibt es noch es, was nach dem Sischen? Ich volle. Ich hol den guten Seitein, weil ich weit werde. Senscherech.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Oh mein, fach, der. Und den schlechten Seitein frech ich mich, in der Söpfe getabte. Sag, wie ist das? Und ich dann schlechte Seite und frech ich mich im Hessischen Griffegetabel. Sag mir was! Ha ha ha! Bist du nicht, wo du da ist, lucht und volle! Oder brascht dem, wo du da bist? Es ist nichts, wer, es ist hart, guckst du, halt und ich fahre. Und dann wird uns hätte ein Fendi, ich meinte weiter.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Schüsse ist nicht nackwetter, wann. And then what does it make me to make wider sushi snit nap bed of an and in the schnitten is enter folk to make that's like someone's taped over halfway through a star is born with an episode of a low hello so Tom it sounds like you know it what's the song and what's the language? It's shallow and it's in German. This time it was German, absolutely beautiful. Absolutely, absolutely beautiful. In German and I think, okay, so you've got five points each, I think, steam, absolutely gorgeous, very liting, very, very moving, I'm going to give you four out of five, but
Starting point is 00:37:00 Sarah, I mean, you really transported us to another place. Josh, literally, he walked off. I'm giving you five out of five. That's nine points for Sarah and for Steam. Well done, beautiful. Quinn, please tell us what has that done to our scores? So Ben and Josh have 26, but Tom, Sarah, and Steam, now in the lead to 28.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Wow, E. Well, here we go. If you thought the shallow end Dutch was a mouthful, just wait until these guys attempt to get their laugh for gear around this month's beef. It's beef brothers! Yes, it's beef brothers where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat share based beef and today's one comes from audience member Helena Helena How are we saying that? Helena Helena Helena right my I know if you Gary still like that and that is a hard age Well, do we say backwards or what?
Starting point is 00:38:06 Well, Helena, it's great to have you on the show. And now, we've got guests of horror language you're doing this. So, Helena writes, my fiance, has a number of fascinating hobbies, including keeping bees and brewing beer and wine. As much as I enjoy the produce of these pastimes, they do involve a lot of equipment. We live in a terrace with very little free space and storage, which is currently filled
Starting point is 00:38:31 with racks of bottles or spare beehives. As we are both working from home and not going out, it can feel quite claustrophobic. Please help me convince him to find a better storage solution. So Ben and Josh, you are on the side of Helena, Tom, Sarah and Steen, you are on the side of her beer brewing beekeeping fiancee. Look at the cat. What a gorgeous cat.
Starting point is 00:38:54 What's there with the cat, please, at home, there? It's a Yasmin. Yasmin. And how are we putting it in there? Yasmin. So, Yasmin. Love it? Yes, Minna. So Jasmine. Lovely to meet you, Jasmine. So we'll ask what you have been feels about this in a second.
Starting point is 00:39:12 But Tom, Sarah and Steen, you are on the fiance side, Ben and Josh, you are on Helen the side. Before you make your cases, let's have a cross examination. Does anyone have any questions for Helena? Helena, you're not a pilot are you at work at the moment? Yeah, flying the six people at time to that How big is a beehive can I ask that yeah great question?'s pretty, it's pretty beefy. And how long have you been together and how long have you lived together? That was a big, that was a big, so interesting.
Starting point is 00:39:56 No, no, no, this is great. It was, it was, it was, why, Jesus, four, four years, four years we've been together. Okay. Objection, sorry, I've always wanted to do that, sorry. Three, we've lived together. Three, lived together. So this is a long time and has the stuff accumulated over that time? Or was it always the deal? So, we've only sort of lived in a house that we've owned for about a year, and it's been in that time. So for OSC, okay, started, and then it has accumulated. The thing about keeping bees is you start with a single hive and a few tens of thousands of bees, and then they sort of multiply and you end up having to get more hives and more hives.
Starting point is 00:40:43 I didn't have to get more hives. I've been so much more exciting. I think he might have an addictive personality in both alcohol and bees. Sarah, we're on his side, don't we? I'm on his side, please. I'm just getting the background. I'm going to make a really cool addict. Who's like, if you ever criticize, he's drinking.
Starting point is 00:41:03 He sends his bees to get you. He's another piece of beekeeping equipment which is of course all the macchi. Yes. Yeah. You get much honey out of the beekeeping equipment. That looks pronounced honey. We were told not to expect any honey in the first year. told not to expect any honey in the first year. We might have the beans. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Oh, that bait. Okay, can I let Sally? Yeah. Can I ask, did you start a, like, is it a hobby for him? And if so, did you start a hobby around the same time? Well, we started together and then I decided it was too much like hard work. So I've just given up on the B-Drend.
Starting point is 00:41:50 So you've abandoned the thing you started together? I liked the scientific element. I like the, you know, we did the classes and we did the tuition together and I like that and then we left to our own devices and it was really stressful. She's quick the hobbies, is she going to quit the relationship? Yeah, it was all fun to begin with but once you get your own hive and you settle down, suddenly you've got a problem with commitment. Can we get the fiance's name? Is that okay? Is that okay?
Starting point is 00:42:25 Oh, I don't think anyone not trusted to pronounce it Matthew. We can do front names. His front name is I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. My my uncle is the top B key from Cornwall actually.
Starting point is 00:42:43 My dad's a B whatever Josh Why you got the young glasses on a tall that lies What's the score with them? It's it's quite like people get obsessed with it. Don't they be keeping well You're a person Yeah, he took home enough. He makes no you can buy a winner comes running in Cornwall. Anyway, as he is your face on it. Why would his face be on?
Starting point is 00:43:13 Is it like Josh Merch? But also, I can't believe Josh's story, it's because we were once on QI and you said that your relative had written the Saints come marching in and then they did like fact check and then had to announce in front of the whole studio audience That's not true. I've got the wrong question song and let me tell you now, Thera, you did not expect to get fact-check on QI. Oh, sounds like that. I don't get away with any on crap.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Helena, the beer, have you enjoyed the fruits of your fiance's labor? Do you partake in his beer? I occasionally partake in the beer. Oh, so if it's not too dark, you have imbibed. I have and is your fiance listening to this right now? No, he's watching something else What is he watching? I fucking hate this guy. How can I defend it? He's calling me watching I think it's better to be in front of a member. How can I defend it? He's probably watching... I think it's what he's doing. How to make better beer. How to be...
Starting point is 00:44:09 Yeah. Communist propaganda is also a red. Okay, and we've got a different... He's... Yeah, what's he watching? Communist propaganda, she says. I could ask. Yeah, let's ask.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Yeah. Okay, hang on a sec. Is that allowed judge across me? Yeah, of course. It's a bit me sweetheart Okay, I feel bad Let's begin the opening the case for the prosecution now Josh you have a minute to put forward your case You are on the bed of the beehives youives. You are on you are on Hellenous side.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Okay. You are on the Hellenous side. So you're on Hellenous side. You are on Hellenous side. You have one minute starting now. What kind of man doesn't watch his fiance on TV? And then when he hears her coming down the hallway, tripping over high, switches it over. That is the kind of man who cares more about his hobby than his future wife.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I think we can all agree, the keeping is shit. It's cruel. You know it is, it's cruel on the knees. The black sheep of the family speaks. LAUGHTER We need a poo! Poo! LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:45:32 We've all been stung by a bee. That is not pleasant, right? You don't want them dragged into your house when it's just you, your cat, your two spinny chairs and what looks like a kind of open plan office. You don't need beekeeping stuff in this house. What was the other thing he did? Oh, Brutazone beer. I'm sorry, but he's... And that's for wine, because... And that's your time, I'm afraid. That's your time. What a strong closing argument.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Strong closing argument there. You know how they say Keir Starmer was a QC? I really felt like I was really channeling him at that point That would be I really wish Keir Star met ended all of his speeches at the barren's discretion time with that's the one cuz I mean he'd be right it would work and greatest the one cuz move on Boris that kind of thing Okay, so to begin the case for the defense Sarah and steam you have a minute remember you're on the fjord side and your time starts now. So it just sounds from what we've heard is, are you started this adventure together? Not only one of love, you started this adventure of creating this beautiful
Starting point is 00:46:39 B hive situation as well as brewing beer. And if I'm honest, he's watching you on TV at the Montana because you're his queen. You are his queen. And I think you're a bit jealous that there is a queen in the beehive. Can I say one third thing? And it should be worse than brewing beer and keeping bees.
Starting point is 00:47:00 He could be playing fee for all day. And then you'd really no sadness. Helen, I'm learning a lot about myself at the moment and my relationship at the same time. But in terms of, he just sounds like an absolute legend. He sounds like he's treating you like a queen, and there's a him continuing to persevere when you've given up, he's picking up your slack as well. Yeah, that's it. Oh no, but here's a good pun. That's your title of the phrase.
Starting point is 00:47:33 He's a king. He's a big game, he's a big game. Oh, I'm afraid that's unfortunate I came after the time, after the time, so that fantastic joke be struck from the record Please He's a good pun here's a good pun at that time How do you know in the only case when he said if it doesn't fit you've got to a quit? He started it mid the bit before, he goes, he's going, he's going, he's going, he's a rhyme, he's a rhyme,
Starting point is 00:48:09 he's a rhyme, he's a rhyme. Okay, stiffness. And Helena, how do you think it's going so far? I do, I like them. I would say it's going badly for me. Yeah, it's touched me a little bit. But the more you learn about Beesable, you realize that like Queen B analogy is a poor one. Oh. If I was his queen, then he would have died the first night
Starting point is 00:48:39 we, yeah. We should have found something to do. I know the fact. I know the fact. I know the fact. know the fact 12 other bent to that yeah, I should be by in the heads off But in the heads off and then making other ones go and do a lot of I'm allergic to bees so that argument was very hard for me Is that all else really aroused right? Generally Can we take another break no more breaks for our key? We took a week. Could we take another break?
Starting point is 00:49:03 No more breaks for our key. Clarky, in fact, we've got to continue the case for the prosecution. Now Tom, are you going to be doing this as yourself? No, I'm going to be doing it in the style of a deep safe defense lawyer from a John Grisham novel, Mr. Fan Shaw Standin. Mr. Fan Shaw Standin, presiding and providing your minute,
Starting point is 00:49:22 should you need it, begins now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury! We've heard a lot of things today, a lot of big words from damn dear lawyers, dare from defences city. They're gonna have you believe that honey comes from a bee! We all know it comes from the Papar store. Now, listen in of this travail here of these two young folk kind of got me thinking to myself now. And I'm sure it make you think too about the young love. Well, there sure was a time and a time there was and I'm sure you find it hard to believe where I was a young man myself
Starting point is 00:50:06 Oh full of hair suit case full of pie dancing shoes Three villages down lived a girl called Georgia beautiful lady hips elbows a hat A hat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Time came where I thought of myself, hell, I'm going to show Georgia what I think. I'm going to walk over there, over forest, across the day, up the hill, and down the mountain. And I'm going to present her with a dove, bird of love. And I'm going to give her my best boot.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Off I said. Off I said, convinced I was going to find me a dove and collect my boots. Got lost on the hill, fell up the dail, three nights on the mountain. To cut a long story short no one's gonna fall in love with a man holding a dead crow and a boot full of shit. But at least I tried. No further questions you want. Oh, very, very touching, very moving, very moving speech there from from Fan Shore, but I don't know what it's going to do to the way people vote. That is all down to Ben. Ben, you're going to conclude the case for the
Starting point is 00:51:19 defense. Your minute begins now. Well, listen, I'm listening. The best played, the best played plans of place and plan. You know, like it's classic isn't it, you know? A guy gets with the gal and he's like, we're going to get a place together. We're going to live together. It's all going to be great. That's that's all plan A. And then he sneaks in the other stuff. We're going to start brewing beer. We're going to start keeping insects. That's suddenly plan B. No, I'm saying. Lovely, lovely. Now listen, here's what I think is, there's a film called The Fly, which is about a guy
Starting point is 00:52:12 who keeps a load of flies in his flat and gradually he turns his girlfriend into one. If not seeing it, but that's what I think holds what's his face is up to. He's gradually going to try and turn Helena into here B and keep her. That is your time. Helena was trying to leave there about three times during that. Well, that's only because I've told the truth of the matter. Well, listen, now that was a real bombshell to end on their clarky. By which I mean, was there a punchline?
Starting point is 00:52:56 No, what I meant was, what I meant was we now take it to the public to vote, because I can't make the call myself as I'm a paid up member of the beer and bees collective. At least I think that's where my license fee goes. So instead, I'm going to call upon our live internet audience. So go to our profile on Twitter. It's at Pappies' tweet.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Our pin tweet lets you vote for who you think you should win. So we'll go through it again. So whether you think Josh and Ben and therefore Helena made the best case or Steen and Fancher on behalf of Helen and Fionce, whoever you think, whoever you think made the best case, go and vote for that person now at Papi's tweet on Twitter. You have about 30 seconds. Also, why not give us a follow while you're there? We can always do with extra follow. We've been languishing. We've been languageing it. We've been languageing it. That's so desperate to put it in. Languageing away.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yeah. Languageing away. So, Penty, like, what else could you do? Listen, we've got, let's, Terry, you don't get it. We've got three followers, right, at the moment. It's okay. And let me tell you, Perry doesn't follow us. So it's not great, it's okay.
Starting point is 00:54:00 We could do, we could do, it's not for me. You should do something useful, like yoga videos or something. If we're a bit more like Adrienne, then we get that. Yeah, then we get the traffic, wouldn't we? Yeah, smash it. Yeah. Crosters, I just unfollowed and followed, man, you got my support. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Cheers, mate. It is incredibly close, incredibly close. But have we improved on our followers? Ah, no, we've actually lost followers during this. Okay, okay. Not great, not great. Okay. proved on our followers? No, we've actually lost followers during this. Not great, not great. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Ah, yes. We've got a small error here in that the thing that's been put up here is the wrong way round. So that's, it doesn't matter. We have to strike that from the record. Sorry guys. I'll be legit. It's got to be legit, but we've done Sarah's, they put Sarah's Dean and Fanshore brackets
Starting point is 00:54:53 Helena, Josh Lashben, brackets fiance, which is the... I think take them. People all have voted for Josh and Barry. Are you sure Barry? This is a problem. Okay. Well, we'll go with, I'm going to go with Helena and Fionce, because Paris asked for it.
Starting point is 00:55:10 So Josh and Ben, you win that round. Yes! Yes. Nothing hollow about that at all. Helena, how do you feel about the results? You know what? I feel like a changed woman. I'm going to 100%. I'm not entirely sure what the results were. I'm not honest.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Helena, thank you so much for being such a wonderful guest. You've been absolutely fantastic. Helena, everybody. It's very nearly, folks, the end of the show is what I plan on saying in about 45 minutes time, until I'm going to snack on a delicious Art Lillie's vegan Scotch egg. Art Lillie's vegan Scotch eggs. We know they're eggs, but what the fuck are they? You're going to enjoy the quick fire round jingle. Olay! This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's amusing to everyone involved that the intro is really long.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Oh, it's a cracking guy. Yes, the intro is really long and for a quick far round, that's funny. funny. It begs the question, what would the intro be like? If it wasn't too quick, far round, but actually a long, fire round. I imagine the intro would Oh, he's flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip- long questions or would the answers be really long? A bit like a philosophy essay? When you're doing general studies, what is fear made? This is something to discuss. There was always that story about that guy in the school extor. That he sat down in an exam and the question said, what is bravery? And they wrote this is and then got up and walked out and then someone put pencils up their nose and bang their head and everyone got an A. I think I'm confusing stories there. Anyway, I've gone off the subject.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Let's not worry about any of that. It's not a long fire round. Thank God for all involved it is the quick fire round Yeah, wow. This is bravery. Ah, oh, hey. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Yes. Crysism, I'm just going to go to bathroom, thanks. You're welcome. Perfect time to do it, mate.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Yes, this is the quick far round. and as our show is all about a socially distance picnic for six people, all of the questions must be socially distanced. So I want two meters on either side of your answers. So if I ask you another name for 1.759 points, you would say meter meter, liter meter meter. Fun, right? Yeah. We go, man. Yeah. Instead of buzzers, I would like to shout out your first names. Ben and Josh, let's hear yours. Josh. Peter.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Lovely. I'm not quite sure why you said that, but, uh, Tom, Sarah and Steen. Jonas. Sarah. Tom, Tom, lovely stuff. Okay. Here. Okay. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:59:48 What is the fastest land animal? Tom, beat Tom that. Meta-meta-cheetah-meta-meta. Is correct. What is the brand name of ride-based crisp breads? Josh. Ben. Josh.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Meta-meta-meta-meta. Correct. Which Beatles song is a love letter to a parking attendant? Me to, I'll follow Josh. Josh. I'll go on. Meter, lovely, Rita, meter meter. It's correct. Name the controversial novel by Nabokov that features the character, Humbert Arles. Error, error.
Starting point is 01:00:22 And meter meter, L a liter meter meter. It's correct. Name the roadside cafe chain that ceased trading in 1997. Dean Benz. Dean. Metimeter Jones Cafe. I'm a frail ass. I'm a frail ass.
Starting point is 01:00:38 I'm a frail ass. No, John. Metimeter, happy, etimeter, etimeter. It's correct. A whisk is sometimes known as an egg what Me to me to egg meter meter meter meter it was steam was first, but of course there you can you can have you can have Of course you can speak for him. Of course Which animal has a worm like tongue and is known to consume termites
Starting point is 01:01:04 Tom Which animal has a worm like tongue and is known to consume termites? Tom! Tom! Metameter, Komodo dragon, Metameter. No, I'm not saying that. Ben was just in there after Tom, let's hear it. Metameter, I'm a delo Metameter, that's... That's it! No, no, no, no, has been so far about the first half? Oh, Tom, Tom. Me to me to Blue Peter Me to Me to Me.
Starting point is 01:01:34 It's absolutely correct. Completed the name of the actor famous for her roles in Chicago, the Mask of Zorro and Traffic. Me to Me to Me to Jones. No, no more jokes. No more jokes, guys. No more Jones. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, You can see that the her finger took a It's so good. It's really good everyone. It was really good guys if you're watching at home guys It was really good all right. We had the review the reviewer in it. So I picked it up on the mic when she said shut up I like a little bit of argy bargy towards the end of the game. I like a bit of elbow shove in. I love it. So Josh, Sarah, esteem, anything to plug? Josh, I know you wanted to plug your kitty-kept. We're doing one of these live zoom. My podcast, quickly Kevin Willis-Skort, the 90th football podcast, doing a live zoom one like this tomorrow. And one of our guests is Mr. Tom Perry.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Oh, fantastic. Very exciting. So, yeah. We will definitely tweet about that and where can people get tickets? Is it eventbrite? If you go on to the quickly Kevin, at quickly Kevin Twitter or just Google it, yeah, it's on the website of the Twitter also. I do, if you are going to go on their Twitter, give them a follow.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Give them a follow, guys. Welcome, follow. Well, tweet it to our three followers. It'll be great. We'll have a follow. Wack and a follow. Producer Ember said we will tweet about it but in the wrong order, unfortunately. So Sarah, Stene, you guys got anything you'd like to play? Yeah, Cosby, I've got, I'm saying, I'm dealing with Heart, which is having tomorrow. I'm going to be playing FIFA from 10 to 12. If anyone wants to add me, Rasko Rocket, feel free to...
Starting point is 01:03:29 LAUGHTER Get the Rasko Rocket on board. Get the Rasko FIFA! Get the Rasko Rocket on board. If you're playing FIFA, definitely Adam. He's the part of gold at the end of the rainbow, pug. LAUGHTER I'm not joking.
Starting point is 01:03:44 I'm seren, I'm not... No, I'm be stricken from the record again. Sarah, anything to plug yourself? No, okay, fair enough. I guess just Black Lives Matter and just just just just general you know quality anti-racism stuff. We're good luck with your podcasts. Oh, I mean she's got us bank to write sound fortunately because it is. When she said no more jokes she wasn't lying was she? No, no, no, no. Yes, we have a few more jokes. Yeah, can we just finish this piece between that and the final scores. Anyway thanks to everybody watching. As always, check out our Patreon.
Starting point is 01:04:28 We do daily bonus episodes over there at patreon.com, forward slash, pop-ys, flat share, leave us a review on iTunes or tweet, to recommend the podcast. To all of your friends, it's all appreciated. Produced a win. This is very exciting. What are the final scores?
Starting point is 01:04:43 So the final scores are, Josh have 30 but the winners are Tom Sarah and steam a 33. Oh Ben and Josh have got to organize the picnic while Tom Sarah and scheme. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, Steam Russ Coppola and Josh Whitaker. We've been Patmys, see you next time on Flash Eskides! Shes on! Shes on! Shes on! Shes on! Shes on!
Starting point is 01:05:11 Shes on! Happy Flash Eskides Landar Fiji, brought to you by Carson Tom Hau, a special guest, Josh, Sarah and Steen. His device has been walker-tied. Whatever caution we've helped from Green Weeks. Green Weeks Davis, there's Beast by Emma Corson from Big Thugs to Open and Watch the Show live to zoom in YouTube for hosting us.
Starting point is 01:05:28 I know you don't just let anyone use your platform, so it's hugely appreciated. Happy Stashestabbers, a secret infrastructure for ACAST and the Internet. Cheers everyone! Bye! So there it was everybody. I've just been informed by producer Emma that in fact that we also did a triple episode and we had both Celeste and Freira from Lazy Susan and Adam Hess for our Christmas episode a couple of years ago. So that fun fact was actually not entirely true.
Starting point is 01:05:55 As most fun facts are. Yeah, that's why they're called factoids. Normally the fun of the fact the less true it is, that's my motto. That is so true. If you enjoyed today's episode, please recommend it to other people. Also, if you enjoy this content, then please join us over on the Patreon where we're putting out another three episodes a week. So you get plenty of other low-well loads of content.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Lows a bang for your buck. So much content, you guys, and it's all good stuff. There's over 50 episodes of bonus waffle from us, and they're really, they're really, really fun, so we'd love to see you over there. If you pledge $5 and above, you get every single episode immediately. You can start listening today, all of the back catalog, so if you go to patreon.com, forward slash pappies, flat share, you will find us there. And fill your May with podcasts. Fill this glorious May and your ear canals with podcast galore.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Anything else to say at this juncture? Yes today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham, Corsham team. Otherwise we will see you on the other side. Cheer for her, I don't mean after death. And she's everyone! Bye! We won't see anyone after death. Death is the end, fun fact. Fun fact. Please be upstanding, get on the landing-out,
Starting point is 01:07:22 Have a hand in saying everything that's glad with Today's neighborhood Patreon watch roll call Amen! Amen! Propropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropropro On the third day we got a cow and on the fourth day we had a sheep. Leigh. I call the cow father John and call the sheep Rachel Ripley! We're at it with flyers! On the 17th day he went to put himself on display. It was Edward McKay. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh On the 47th day Yes, I looked I looked for him, but he was long gone
Starting point is 01:08:34 Yes, it was Jamie McClough No, it was the second day and so no I think we see one decided to bury my bones I found the minute them they stuck in my throat so I bought half of my Jones Oh, long-lone, and forty-six days. I was also buried. It was very uncomfortable. Oh, yes, I've enjoyed it. I managed to get out.
Starting point is 01:09:18 And my friend said, was that very uncomfortable? I said, yes, very. What do you think Oliver Berry? What comfortable. It was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. I too was buried alive. Uncomfortable to say the least. I felt extremely awkward. It was highly uncomfortable to have been buried alive.
Starting point is 01:09:43 To say the very least To say the very least When I came out Oh, no, that's a separate issue But when I'll tell that story another time I'd love to hear it, but when I managed to to dig my way out Someone came up to me and said was that uncomfortable and I said yes very
Starting point is 01:10:16 It was of course is he thought very uncomfortable To be buried alive was the main us one day that was yesterday and I had buried my balls with Clampson I Met the Lord of the road to Tasmascus. He converted me along with image in Hampton Oh my goodness Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Very uncomfortable. I realised that I'd not bear it myself and my spade, which makes it almost impossible to get out. Very, very uncomfortable. I'd got myself in the first place without a spade. Well, I've got very large hands. Or can you use those to dig yourself out?
Starting point is 01:11:22 I've buried myself a bit too tight. Oh, it's all very tight, burial. It's a very tight burial, it's very snug. We gave him a very nice... We gave him a very tight burial as well. His wishes are stated in his will. I realize I've got myself into an absolute fix. Luckily, my friend came along Rockabilly66.
Starting point is 01:11:51 Great to have Rockabilly66 on board. Rockabilly66, thank you very much. Rockabilly66, we hope you're not uncomfortable. Well, it was a Sunday, which means it must have been the 12th day, which means it must have been the day I decided to bury myself. Ah, here, burial day. Will you be aiming for a tight or loose burial, as per your wishes are stated in your will? As per my wishes are stated in my will, I went for a loose burial. I buried my arms and my left leg prior to lunch, then I nipped off for a bite. When I came back on my burial site, some of it parked there, but... No, F you mate. My name is Joel Morgan.
Starting point is 01:13:06 What? I know. I was still I'm still shaking with anger about it. If you ask me. I'm still curious about it. Tuesday the twelfth when I cut up my ball according to the wishes in my will I stamped my ball onto the land in floor and cry a lot
Starting point is 01:13:38 That this ended No, sorry, sorry you was still you're in the middle of one. Oh it will. It wasn't winter it wasn't spring. It was the first day of fall. Jumping on my ball on the landy was that absolute bastard Louise. Oh! Sorry. It's alright. It's alright. It must have made you feel very uncomfortable. I also think it's lowest hole, but no matter how it is, how uncomfortable it's lowest hole.
Starting point is 01:14:18 I tell you what's uncomfortable. The other day, I just buried my balls It was talking about the boy was a double mistake because I did it tight Tight on your balls as per your wishes in your wills Why did I put that in my will I'll never know? I'm veryみたい. I'm a friend. I've lived a good life. I've lived a good life.
Starting point is 01:14:52 I might as well have an innocent man uncomfortable death. Oh, my friend came along. He said, well, isn't that silly? I said you're absolutely right. I could, friend. Billy. Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Oh, Billy. I buried my balls, and I also buried my penis. And when I came back, I'd forgotten where I'd buried them. And I couldn't locate them. So now, when I go to the Lou Lou it comes out as a trickle. Oh no that seems that must be very uncomfortable. It's extremely uncomfortable for it to come out as a trickle. It comes out on the roof. I've got to consult my doctor Ian McKneaker. Racking clear as the days, holy last Son of the Seventh Day! Of the Patriot neighborhood, what role call?
Starting point is 01:15:56 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free freedom at in Lutton. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.

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