Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Rosie Jones and Mike Bubbins (Inflate the Airbed) S12E27

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to pump up the airbed… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!WithMike Bubbins - https://twitter.com/MikeBubbinsRosie Jones - https://twitter.com/josieronesNEXT LIVE SHOW9th October at The Cheerful Earful festival in Balham - https://www.designmynight.com/london/pubs/balham/the-bedford/cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-day-4Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share Slam Down. Flat Share Slam Down. Gosh, the years flying by is it? I mean, like, years, and yours, too, listener dear, the months have become measured out in flat slam releases, I always find. You're like, that. Yes, that's true. You're like, go bloody out. I think that's been a month since the last one and it has. And we recorded it. You can confirm. It's a good marker.

It's a good marker. It's been at least four weeks, possibly five, since the last one. But this was a good one. We had a really, really fun time recording this. This is the second of our Macuntleth comedy festival recordings and oh my god superb guests, heroes, friends of ours, total heroes, Mike Bubbins and Rosie Jones. Two are the best about. It's fortunate for us that we had two of the best about because this was recorded quite early

on a Sunday and we had been partaking in the fruits of the festival. because this was recorded quite early on a Sunday and boy. We had been partaking in the fruits of the festival, let's say. So we had been celebrating being back in our favourite comedy festival in the world. So we had a good old time, we got on the Saturday night and then we were plunged straight into a record, but carried by two absolute legends at the peak. I'm going to say it at the peak of their game at the moment. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. I would say as well, this whole episode had the hangover hot. I did. Did I remember it was a it was a saucy old episode. There's a cut leave I have to this one. There's a real cut leave I have to this episode. There's a photo out there somewhere of me during the record and it looks like my head's about to explode.

Yeah, see if you can work out, you definitely will, but see if you can work out when that photo was taken. As you listen to this, when do you think Tom was that is redist? When do you think the veins on Tom's head were pulsating to their fullest potential? Like, honestly, the veins on the side of your head are at the top of their game. They really are. And the top of my head. Enjoy the episode and we'll see you on the other side. Tomin, what is it, Matthew? Yeah, what is it?

Yeah, not bad. Let's not turn each other, all right? Sunfare. One of you two has got to pump up the air bed. other, alright? Sunfare. One of you two has got to pump up the air bed. Oh! Really? Yep. Well, it's not going to be me. I tell you what's weird actually, Matthew, at home, I've got a water bed.

Oh, yeah. And while I've been here, I've got an air bed. And then when I work at this morning, I had both. Okay. Ah, I'm pissed up. Oh yeah, it works on two levels. So, what about you Tom? I'm not going to pump up the air bed. I've got bad family history with air bands

because my uncle was accused of taking a bribe to let people's air beds down. And yeah, he was guilty. It turns out he took a bunk. He took a bunk! That's a proper joke, that is. Yeah. Took a bunk! I have got to go.

Well there is only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a... Fla-ch-is-lam-down! Fla-ch-is-lam-down! Fla-ch-is-lam-down! Fla-ch-is-lam-down! So we can just slide down! Hello and welcome to Fla-ch-is-lam-down! I'm not a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy party is and you'll find out if you do that. Forgot to book a place to stay, get my

air bed on the floor tonight, make my day. Forgot to book a place to stay, get my air bed on your floor tonight, make my day, make my day. How does Alan Matthew close me? Let's make my mattress pump as it's Tom Perry and Benedict Clark. As if MacF Fest couldn't get any wider. That was the whitest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. I am white. For the listeners at home. Just in case, sit here.

I'm white. So, Tom and Ben, obviously you can't pump up the air bed on your own. Who if you brought to stomp on the pump today? Ben. Um, I bought my friend, my puppy! My puppy, this is you! Hello my cousin! Hello, how are we all? Cheers, Ben.

Hello mate. How are you doing, man? Thanks so much for coming on the show. Thanks for asking me. Now, you've actually got your flatmates with you here tonight. My flatmates, my wife is here, and my two children, nine and twelve. So, you've weird names. Have you? Yeah. Oh, they are the same.

I know, but I'm acceptable. They both been assimilated, so they are... They're bogs in the 12th row, so Ben and Alia there. If you could not say shit and bugger for the next hour, that'd be brilliant. Rosie, you listening? That's fine. So I got to say, I got to say, I got to say, very quickly, sorry, I was, a friend of ours gave my son a lift to rugby the other day and then what I saw about two weeks later,

I got by the way, I need to apologize to you, Ben was in the back of the car, I accidentally Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith train. Bear that in mind. So obviously there you there you there you housemates what would they say you're like to live with? Do you think if they have to describe how it is living with Bubbins? A dream I'd imagine I mean No, I'm a big strapping lad so I can do all the sort of stuff around the house You don't want me to do math posing. Yeah walk around naked fairly often sure That sounds bad. I mean if no, I don't know what the body like. You know it doesn't very good I just I just I just I just feel like a social service is one of you. It sounds bad. I mean if... No, don't know what the body like, yours it doesn't? Very good, something like that. I just may have felt like a social service is one of you if someone's bad. Yes, you should.

Yeah, lovely. I was going to say I'm a hands on down, but that sounds bad as well. Yeah, I suppose. Should we just have to Rosie for a minute? Yeah, let's do this. Tom, how have you brought with you this week? Well, Matthew, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, no It needs funding so I've invited Rosie Jones

Rosie Jones is here Tick tick tick tick I'm a true I don't get a lot of money for all of this. Yeah. We're enjoying the trickle down effect and thank you. So Rosie, what kind of person are you to live with? Well, my flatmate is a tenet. Because you live with Bubbings, don't you? Yeah!

Both of you are struggling around the house naked all the time. It's a wonderful song. I think I'm a jolly television. Um, my coven problem when I part my is she does not understand my choice in music in their shower. It is shit. I can go from Don't leave parting. Good call. Wonderful. Really great. To get to the Simpson. Fire Michelle Brunch. You know her. I don't think so.

See, it's a little bit of Michelle. Is it Michelle Brunch? Yeah. OK, yeah, now. Oh, she made me want to be an eye came out the shower and said to my partner, you really can't beat Michelle Branch. And my partner, oh, that was so angry. And you're just leaving the house and when you come, and they have a lot of awesome, I am naked a lot.

Oh, yes, hello. Oh, but I'm a little bit more. Well, you've got to dress to flatter. Yeah. I am always wear top day, and nothing. I do the same thing because I'm slightly out of shape at the moment, but my penis looks immaculate. I don't know.

I don't know if you're a family would agree. We should say we are bottomless right now. So our guest's are as pumpters, Mike's penis, Santa, Sally our air bed isn't, but that's perfect conditions to play. Round one! I went to your house about a year ago to drink orange, A dandy pastry and it was phylo Fylo phylo I went to drive home but my tie was flat Yes I had a puncture in my new Renault plio

CLIO CLIO So I came back and you were washing up so I thought I'd help and the patch you gave me was dry Oh, we are a level of dry Oh, but it was my late time You said I could stay but you didn't have a bed So you let me sleep on your floor Hey, go on Go on, nothing wrong with that fight Nothing wrong with that

No, it could be in the old switcher room Yeah, that's good stuff So our first round today is called air bed on a G-string I'm going to ask our H-bar guests to sing about something you would wear to the tune of a popular classical piece Air bed on a G-string Their team has to guess which item of Sartorial kit they're crooning about on a ward one point for a correct answer, but up to ten points for the song.

So Ben, we're going to start with you. Ben, I'm very sure I can. You heard Rosie sing, I don't fancy our challenges. LAUGHTER How was that so proud of that, I can't sing? LAUGHTER Thomas, expect a real subo moment! Yeah!

So Ben, there's the item you're singing about. Thank you, thank you. The tune is in the Hall of the Mountain King by Greek, aka the Alton Tower's theme tune. Alright? Okay. Yes. Mike, what is Ben singing about?

Here we go I'll get in the next time around So I don't know where to come in with this next time Here we go. 5, 6, 7, 9. Next time. Okay. Okay. They are very plasticky.

plasticky. plasticky. But you put them on your feet and they look like they're sheds. There you go. Wear them on on, escalators for some reason They are really good words, the way I took them off clothing But they're actually really comfy when you put them on Then you realise that if your foot is yellow, then every time you put them on your house You wear them and then when you go outside you also wear them too

But you never wear them out in public. Because they are the most embarrassing night of shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they are plastic. They are nothing. Why did I spend all that time not coming in as a heart? It's howlberry. Quick and hard to... They are plastic shoes.

They are plastic shoes. They are plastic shoes. Yeah! The ageable. Yeah! Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum It kicked in like a sledgehammer to the back of the head. All right, so Clarky, straight away, I'm going to give you, because it was a beautiful rendition. Eight points for the song. Eight points for the song for Clarky there. You got it right. But Mike Bubbins, what was Ben Clark singing about?

Crows, I think even though he skipped the three slow verses of the start. I think Clarky was singing about... Crocs. It was in Le about Crocs it was in Congratulations, that's a point a point of our bims eight points of Clarky right next up. It is Rosie Here we go Here we go I don't know. So I'm your guessing.

Rosie, that's your item. Your piece is The Blue Dan U by Johan Strauss. OK, here we go. You, you, you, but you don't, you don't. You sometimes have been made up. It's all your fault You're sometimes a bit better String I can't keep it every won I can't let that happen

PUNCH The young baby wore my gift so they came up with a dog. The end Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what walk in a dock? Yeah, isn't it? Right, I mean, let's, let's, let's, let's, Tom, I'll give you a bit of, a bit of deliberation time there. Right. I'm going gonna award points for the, for the, so, because you know what, that was absolutely a beautiful rendition. It went, it put me in mind, I don't know if you know of,

of Michelle Branch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh For that I'm going to give you 9 points out of 10 there for the singing beautiful beautiful rendition but Tom Granddad has a bunch Granddad has a bunch something about a dog string the dog the dog was a was a girl that yeah was one of many girls in the dog yeah what do you think it is he's a tall down on it yes you

I mean I've got vest right down. Is that your answer? Yeah. You're correct. You're walking off. Yeah, you can't walk. Yeah, it's that vegetable town. It's a certain type of dog. Yeah. Right, right, right. It's so uniform. Makes perfect sense. Imagine a vest smell like Bob Marley's curtains. It's my fault. You got a dog, you got a bat, you got flip flops, and you got your cock cattle. Well, for once. Right, Mike, you're up next.

Now, you've got your item there. Your tuners, of course. Of course, it's bread of heaven. Of course, it is. Oh, come on. This isn't fair. But it's more than fair. But Ben, what is Mike singing about? Mike, off you go.

Now let's pray. Skin food where it's parted and by my jeans. How tall do you think I am, Ben? I'm not short of am I, see? Because the back of these boots they hide a little trick I am only five foot ten you prick Oh my god Oh My god, oh my goodness beautiful beautiful. I'll get a bottomless after that. Yeah, man strangely moving Strange apart from this guy

Everybody else applaud not a flicker not a flicker, not a flicker. Right in the stone. Nothing. Fucking Mount Rushmore. Unbelievable. Right. Bed in silence. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Anyway. Front row. I like him. That's so nice.

A very kind other audience member in the road behind him, getting a little massage, just going to the gates. Then the barters grind you down. So, Ben, what was Mike Bubbins singing about? Sickening about cowboy boots. Oh! It was Cuban A.S. It was Cuban A.S.

I'll give you a half a point because you've got a bit of an assist by getting the answer wrong and everyone going, no. But it was a half a point there, but the full ten out of ten for Mike and the song. Oh! Finally, Harry, that is your item. and put my hand on the side. Yeah! APPLAUSE Finally, Harry, that is your item. I mean, where can we go after Bread of Heaven? It's only going to be one. It's got to be Ness and Dorma.

It's got to be Ness and Dorma. Oh! The Puccini classic. Come on, come on. Come on, Tom. Wow. There you go. Wolverhampton's Pavarotti here

Rosie yeah, I'm not many easy on you're sure but The black country better tell them so you can do it. You can do it. Here we go. Pavolova Biscotti. So, Perry, Ness and Dorma, Rosie, what is he singing about? Here we go. Don't try and find the note before you hear the song, Tom. My trousers are really quite white, they're quite white, my trousers are baggy, they're The flipping in the wait That really white You see Why do you see

What You see Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Oh! Beautiful! Right! Two things folks! Medic! Two things folks, medic! We need size of the vein of the side of your head.

We're now going to send Harry to a Swiss clinic for a complete change of blood. Keith Richard's style. Two things, first of all, I'm going to give you the full ten points. That's a beautiful, a little point of rendition. Rosie, I will tell you now clearly Tom doesn't know what this thing is. You look like you. Let's go again. Oh, like God,, was your white trousers.

And that's not what this thing is. Now, oh, no, it's not. I want to say, you would think, Flare. I mean, I think everyone's thinking that, and we would say, Flare's would be correct if this thing was white. I said Flare's, yeah, yeah. I said baggy trays.

Oh, baggy again, it's not that either Tom. I thought it was a belt. No, it's not a belt, see that if anyone could get it, I would literally give you a hundred pounds. It's not come a bund, no. No, it was Colots, it was Colots, everybody. What a Colots. It looks a bit like a mini skirt, actually, pair of shorts.

Are they back in? Well, they're pretty back in. No, they're not. They can't get it, but they're not. You're the most supportive person in the whole world. I love you. Oh, you're getting afraid. I'm fucking right down there.

I was having a heart attack right there. Yeah. I was having a heart attack, right? I was fighting for my fucking life up here. But a beautiful rendition of the song, I'm sorry you can't get the points, folks, but what the heck? Thank you! Thank you!

The crowd of turrets. Yeah, really have, yeah. So producer, Gwyn, pick a classical piece if you're choosing and give us the scores in Dulse It Song, if you would. Oh, of course. That's me. My can then have 19 and a half points. Tom and Rosie have 20. Oh!

Yeah! Come on! That is mainly down to me. Yes. Almost entirely. Almost entirely. So of course, Tom and Rosie are in the lead, but let's see if Bed and Mike can inflate their scores in part two.

See you after this. APPLAUSE Welcome back to Flash S Landown. CHEERING CHEERING Before the break. Before the break that we all enjoyed so much! Tom and Rosie were in the lead and that hasn't changed and neither has the deflated disaster that is our three man air bed.

Let's see who's going to be a pump at tonight as we play round two. It's flat games! Yeah! Let's play together! Games! Let's play forever! Roll the dice, spin that thing, put that down, do as you told, game! If you lose you get nothing, games! If you win you week we're playing our version of baseball, which we're calling Debate's Ball. It's a top-dump style game. I'll give all four players a category

They then have to give me a quick anecdote about that category in no more than three sentences. Well, I quit. Yeah. Oh, shit. So I will be judging you. That's hardly news to anyone. I'll also be deciding who wins each round. Because this is the baseball, the categories

will be the four bases, OK? As we all know, the base system starts, obviously, with first base, at wanking, then kissing, fumbling, and shagging. That's the base system as I see it. So let's start... I... Kissing...

Kissing happens after winking, yeah? Well it involves someone else. I've heard of it. Say... Please, please, please. That's the same, I think. Not always. Shit.

Please do your kids are in my... LAUGHTER Let's start with... Very, very pleased to announce I got the first base last night. LAUGHTER Again. And again this morning. LAUGHTER Let's start with... Very pleased to announce I got the first bass last night. Again. And again this morning. Let's start...

I am doing first bass now. Let's keep the hands where we can see the drones. So Tom, we'll start with you. Right. Three sentences or less. Start with wanking. Let's see your tail. Let's not see your tail, I'm just...

Yes. When a teenager, I had a pair of boxer shorts that I used to deposit into. To deposit! And I kept staying the side of my bed. You were trying to find a nice word. You came up with a word, it's possible. He tried to be nice because I'm a kid during the audience.

Oh yeah, thanks mate. I kept it down the side of my bed. I went to retrieve it one night, my mum would wash it and replace it. Oh dear, dear dear. No, dear. Rosie, everything to play for. Oh, shit.

I turned 30 and locked down, and that is sipping it with my parents. Where's this going to go? And that is siabend it was my parents. Wait, he's gonna go. LAUGHTER You won? LAUGHTER He was fucking bored. LAUGHTER So for my 30th birthday,

four friends club together and bought me a 200 pound vibe break. That's a very heavy vibrator. This is the dishes. You looked at it and you thought that won't fit. LAUGHTER How wrong they were. Er... Er...

And the story is... It did. LAUGHTER Beautiful. Er... Like I'm sorry to say, you're up next. Well, that's my family's in the room, Cross. What I'm going to do is I'm going to talk about somebody else's masturbation.

Of course it is. It's one of those insolent. Well, I was... My friend, Matt Barb. I just sit by a block in science lessons with the same name and look as me. No, he... I just sit by a block in science lessons with the same name and luck as me. No he- I just sit next to a chap in science lessons in Barry Boyce Company Enterer School in

Wayne Llywch back in the 80s. Cold, well we're amongst friends, we can bl- We can, yeah. If I'm honest, he'd be unlikely to be here because last scene feed in the rabbit, so he was um, why, what he was want to do in science lessons, because we had a rather attractive teacher, I will remain nameless. Um, but he was sitting next to me because he was alphabetical, I was at B and E was at D, so he, well, they were no seas, what he was in. Um, so, um, he just sit next to me every science lesson and what can only be described as

Wank, alright? No. Honestly, no. But he's just speaking of series of clicks and hums and whistles, right? So you were sat like not, where are you now, Cros? I'm actually a two person desk. And he goes, you just seem to go, mm. Yeah.

I like your Jackson. Yeah, we're like, yeah. But then even a jacket, right? And I'm trying to look forward all the time. And he would always give me a nudge and go, this is the yum yum. LAUGHTER Every lesson for you.

This is the yum yum. This is the yum yum. Yeah. This is supposed to be three cents at a time at close. Yeah. Alright. How do I say this is the yum yum? Yeah, sure. There we go. Sorry. Oh my god. Okay. Clarke. I've never done it. It's never done it. Is that your tail? When I was younger I was at my cousin's house and we were watching home in a way and he easily did. I found it quite arousing so when it's theirs and he then came upstairs and then I was like, I'm going to be walked in halfway through. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm going to shout it. This is the young thing. This is the young thing. This is the young thing. Closer each day. Closer each day.

Closer each day. Closer each day. The old summer bee special. It's tricky one. For me, it's between Rosie and Bubs. Very quickly. A cheer for Rosie. it's between Rosie and Bubs. Very quickly, a cheer for Rosie. Whooo!

A cheer for Bubs. Whooo! I think it's going to be Rosie there. Rosie takes that. Wow. Congratulations. Whooo! Second base kissing. Can I just be two bases?

We'll start with you. First kiss, sorry, everybody. Watch my back for a nick at Chicago. We were 16 and it was revolted. I had an awful time. yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r pwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn fwyr yn f I'm like that, I think I'm gay. So yeah, my first kiss for anyone with both came out as she gave. Amazing. Rosie Jones. Bubbins, who did you get off with in primary school in the 80s? Staff, all people.

What's the 80s? What's like a pick for a kiss one? I tell what I'll do when I was about 23. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith like in Cardiff and I know three senses still to be. Well, it's not your last time, yeah, sure. Well, the nuts and bolts of it is, there were two girls, they want to be rosy, two girls asking us to give a pound to watch them kiss. I said, if you want to kiss, kiss, I'm not going to give a pound to kiss, that's fine.

It wasn't me, because I didn't, they'd wait for the five. So I still have to tell you, I just had jokingly, Mae'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r fwy fwy fwy fwy fwy fwy fwy fwy. Mae'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cydau yn ei ddeud o'r cy You've got your money's worth, don't you? Yeah, it's just was on my type. It would have been like a young David Hasselhoff or something. Sure, of course. You've not made a stone? Yes, it was. Yeah, so it wasn't even like an open mouth kiss. It was proper, like tongues, and it was... Sounds great.

Yeah, it was alright, actually. So, it's a clarky. A kissing story from you. Yeah, it's alright, actually. So, Clarke, Clarke, you're going to be a kissing story from you. Never done it. I'm going to do this in 3-10, that is very drunk at a house party, almost passed out on a chair, and a girl tried to kiss me. Oh, god, she's... Harry, final story.

But being storied just reminded me of, do you remember, it was made, Andy, best Queen I ever made. I think it was about 2009 and we were doing a Christmas show. And my dad hadn't come to see us do sketch comedy like in a minute, never in London, he was never in London. That's a joke, isn't it? Yes. We were doing a Christmas show and we were like,

at the end of it, would it be really funny if we all just get off with each other? So we couldn't think of an end. So we came with this idea of like, great, so at the end, we're all just starting off with each other on stage. So, we were like, why not? Half an hour before the show, my dad texted me and said, I'm coming to see the show tonight.

Oh. Be great to see the show tonight Be great to see what you guys actually do And I'll take you for food afterwards We all just had to get off with each other in front of my dad and then go for a meal It was really weird Another detail to that story is I didn't get off with you guys because my wife wouldn't let me I guess in case I liked it too much Yes, so who's I mean it's got to be Rosie again there. I think Rosie's Rosie. Yeah But then it's your turn to start the subject is fumbling. Oh fumbling in three sentences, please

It's a beautiful side there at the end of that. It's probably going to be a fumble story. It's quite a big base, isn't it? It's a huge, a huge base, the fumble. Come as a multitude. Yeah. Fumble for me, let's never think about this. Let's go back off from Shaggy's next, is it?

Shaggy's next. Okay. Fumble would be fairly innocuous. I would have been around the age of sort of about 13, sure. Well, I was with a friend of mine and I was having a rummage. Wearing shorts. Of myself, not my friend. Yeah.

Yeah. I accidentally ejaculated. What was? Whilst in a public place. That's the yum yum. Clarke. I once fell asleep during... ...or sex.

Giving or receiving? That's the big question, isn't it? And which one's worse? It was giving. Oh no! That's the big question, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And which one's worse? It was gimmick. Oh, no! Oh! Oh!

No! Very good. Very strong showing from pubs and Clark in it. Very strong. No! Harry! I was naked. She was fully closed.

My housemate got halfway into the room and turned, and it was all going on. Mae'r gwaith i'n gwaith, mae'r gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith, but I thought I'd still give boys their bags. Thank you. I wanted to try it out, so one Christmas I went to record in fancy dress. Inau'r yw'n ffanc ydw'r aadwch yw'r aadwch yw'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'ma'r aadwch yma'ma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma'r aadwch yma' And I'm, I'm a hungry, I'm not so, so I'm full my heart with pain or shit. And then I ended up getting with a got it. I'm working. I'm working, what's the nice word for a finger? I think he found it. I mean, yeah. So he started fingering me. Hey, more, hey more you.

I'm on his fingers. Oh. My move. And classic. Keep it as simple as. Yeah. And I'm way, way, way, club and we've been on the band. It's trying to take my pain off. I'm telling the others I've full caught.

You can feel it, mate, but you're not taking my notes. APPLAUSE It's the same like that at a Brave Park, isn't it? APPLAUSE Do you know what? I'm going to give you Tarozi again, though, because... APPLAUSE I mean, the bonus points are clarky for his story, but the round goes to Rosie. Final...

Final round, it was starting with Ben. I know, I know, I know. I know, right? No, no. The show's over. Listen, it's Ben's turn to start. Fourth base, sex, Clarky. What's your story? Really, really good, isn't it?

That's it, no. Yeah, good. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, there's quite a lot of people here who will attest to that. Harry. Reading Festival. Oh, yeah. Me and my girlfriend in attendance, sharing it with Clarky. Oh, no!

Clarky came into the tent on us. Clarky fell asleep doing all sorts. Rosie, here we go. Um, that's it. That you're an inglorant fine, you know. What is this noise? Yeah, they're your round England final What is this noise? A shagged animal I'm obviously wittiggin'

England's last dog cause What? Oh yeah, we're in the middle of the world I am a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r dynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r dynol a'r dynol a'r dynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r ddynol a'r teithau'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i'r llwyr i It was like an awful straight man porn. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE But I enjoyed it and I brought it home. LAUGHTER I see per're there for my step. I've seen that one, I see you there. I think it was called the Italian job.

Final story from Bubs. I could rinse this. If my wife and kids went in the remote rinse this category. Do you want to just step out for a second? I mean this would be home run stuff. but I'll tell you about somebody else. Right? I'll fix the whistles, yeah, go on. On our wedding at night, one of my wife's best friends was in one of the rooms in the hotel

with a few of my friends from Canada, Rugby players, all proceeded to root here in the evening with their full consent, of course. She was, she has sexually, I think three of my friends simultaneously. I am yw i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd ind i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n I was like, oh, Christ, who's that? I was like, oh, I was going on. So I answered the door, and there's woman X. You look like she'd been dragged through her hedge backwards, which she probably handbagged. Asking if we'd seen a handbag anyway, because she'd lost a handbag the night before.

We hadn't seen it. She'd lost her phone or keys. She wasn't robbed by my friends, I wouldn't point that out. Yeah, so woman X probably have insects with most of my friends on my wedding light. There we go. Beautiful story, a beautiful tale of... APPLAUSE

A very happy tale, but I think it was a surprise no one would say, Rosie won that game. LAUGHTER I mean, you absolutely robbed home. You know, thanks for going through the whole round without shacking, by the way. Really impressive. You did not watch all the episodes. Now, I'm a producer Quinn. I won't ask you to tell any stories from your own checkered past. We don't want to be shut down by the Lord Jambaline.

But could you give us the scores, please? Absolutely. The scores, Mike and Ben, I have 20 and a half, and Tom and Rosie have 24. Oh! Yay! Now to redress the balance, let's find out about the horrendous rise of our listeners. It's time to enter the cheeky court of B-brothers!

Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you Be from the sorting at your beef. Yes, its beef brothers were each week we asked our panelists to sort out a flat-share-based beef. And today's one comes from Hazel. Hazel writes,

My housemate is really into Batman. And has filled our communal area with Batman memorabilia. Sometimes I return home to find a normal piece of furniture has been replaced by a Batman version. LAUGHTER That's the beat. So I'll tell you now, Tom and Rosie, you're on Hazel's side. Great.

And Ben and Mike, you're on the side of justice. LAUGHTER So you're obviously on the flatmates side Can you can you give us any more? Do you want to give a give a name or should we just call them Batman? I mean there you go. It's by that himself. No That's just calling Bruce Okay, so Bruce any questions any questions you have for Hazel?

The flatmate's not here, right? No, okay, fair enough here. Outfising, cry along. Okay, any questions for Hazel? Now remember, Tom and Rosie, you're on Hazel's side. Ben and Mike, you're not. So, do you ever think that the fact that, is he replaced the landline? No, we don't have a landline. No, replace Phyrager, so for instance, is there such a thing in your flat as a Batman bed? I mean, maybe in his room. Maybe. Um, Batman chair?

Batman chair, yeah. Is it Batman chair? What does that look like? Well, I came home and I was like, oh, we've gotten this kind of like, deco chair with like a cool design and then you look closer and it's the Joker's face. Oh, no. That sounds... There's a little matching table as well. And...

Did he... at your permission? Ah, that... He's the friggin' dark knight. He's not gonna ask for permission, is he? Excuse me, Mr. Joker, would you mind if I arrested you? It doesn't happen, is he? Is he his axe? No. Is he a copper? Is he a cobbler? Yeah, a policeman.

Oh! Because I just see him being a man at the end of the night, as well as a cop. God, no. Yeah. Because it's really swinging around about as thin as this. He's not a policeman, because that would be good. Do you want to say what his profession is? I have some kind of consultant.

A Batman. He's so... Any other questions for Hayden? What's the biggest piece of Batman memorabilia in the house? I did the little table which matches the chair or... It's a Batman table. Yeah, too much the chair! Is it got the joke, what the...

It's the same, it's kind of, you know, it's the colours, the green, the red and kind of white stuff, but it's horrible clown's faces. So it's more of a joker obsession than a Batman? Yeah, yeah. How, how... What you need is Batman. Okay, how old is he, by the way? How do you get... Six.

It's my son. That fucking cuss. It's just so fun. It is Turgies. He's passed the big trial. There's, well, hang on, hang on, you can use that later on. So, hopefully that is enough information for our teams to make their case. So without further ado, I call upon Rosie Jones to begin the case for the prosecution.

You have a minute. If you're an adult man in your 30s, I'll pledge my professional character to a fucking A ni ni teithau gwawwp, gael eiffrach bwwch yn hwbwch yn hwbwch yn ddwwch yn ddwwch yn ddwwch. and it all, an issue of farewell, gets sex and get alive. Yeah, perfect. Rosie, as usual, angling for a check. Honestly, I just ain't good at blitzin' but my na obsession if it just won't do a quilb and got fingered. It's a catch-all isn't it? Yeah, it's a catch-all. So, take this all the time.

So, Mike, you've got a minute to begin the case for the defence. Well, one of my greatest regrets in life is when I left my parents house, I got rid of my Buck Rogers memorabilia, my Buck Rogers wallpaper, Buck Rogers quilt cover and pillow, because I think you should embrace the young you. Am I right? Yeah. Never look over in a child. Like with all the other children, but don't look over in a child. Keep fostering that. Ym gweithio yn ymwch, am yw know, could always be worse. You could be the Joker, right?

What? What? Yes, what he's showing, what he's showing. You can make your hitter up in your front grip. What he's showing, yeah. I'm giving this comment. I'm giving this comment. Keep your head up.

Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up.

Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. but there's no upstairs, of course. So I would say to you, rather than criticise him for this, what I think what he's trying to do there is embrace just a simpler time then. Yeah, we're on. 100%. Yeah.

Life can be cruel. Life can be short. Life can be awful. I mean, if you don't believe me, that's the fucking joke, because I mean... OK, yeah, sure. People are swaying, shows the best of all those. Because he the best of all those because he hasn't got super powers He hasn't got super powers cross. He's just a man doing his best. Yeah, he's just a billionaire. He can't fly he can't stick to walls

Yeah, they're they're just trying his best. He's not sticky wall man. He's nothing ifry he's risking my for limb Hey, so I have to ask how do you think it's going so far? Oh great, great advice. Yes, it's all good advice. Okay, now Tom, you're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Are you going to give it to yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a deep science defense lawyer from the show. No, I'm going to give it to you.

Mr. Fan Shaw Standard. Fan Shaw Standard, presiding and providing. There we go. Your minute, should you need it against now? Ladies and gentlemen, after J, just finding out if I can actually say this bit, but I think I'll be okay. Nice to see you all here. Small town folk hell recognize you from the bakery. Tough rolls.

Dry bread. Runny eggs. Get your shit together bakery five pound fifty for that is not good enough folks over there from the big city of them den lawyers to words. franchise George Clooney we don't know no George Clooney around here thank you human rights lawyer wife what's that all about I've always wanted to finish I said on human rights and it's good to know. They ain't real lawyers! So I'm gonna say about that. Hearing her talking over there about these no superheroes. Ooh. Kinda reminds me a few years ago, you remember the fair?

Every year. Best fair in the county? You remember the man there, brings a pig to the fair, can walk up a ladder. Latter pig. People come from miles around, see ladder pig. Tom's on a break to post this on the wall.

T-shirts, ladder pig. Till three years ago, ladder pig turned up. You've been drinking. Could barely get up the third rank. Let's not put our faith in superhero's ladies and gentlemen. The defence rests your honour. Beautiful work, Nathan Banschleus, Daniel. Well, I'm Fanchill Sandham from his deathbed by the south of the bay? Alright B, rest in power, Funch or... Right, Clarky, you've got minutes to conclude the case for the defence your minute begins now. Well, it's a really tricky one this, because he sounds like a twag.

Okay, right. Well, don't quite quit in a seven seconds, but fair enough. So... I... Right, got pulled out quite quickly, there's seven seconds, but fair enough. So, I can't make the decision myself. So instead I'm going to come up on our live, but come to the audience to make it for us. So if you think Rosie and Fanshawe and therefore Hazel is in the right, I would like you to applaud now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE But if you think Ben and Mike, and they did make a very strong case by the...

If you think Ben and Mike made the best case, please applaud now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, it's going to go to Hazel. It's going to go to Hazel. Yes. Thank you so much, Hazel. How do you feel about the results? Delighted. Can't wait to take Rose's advice and throw it on the skip. I thought you could say take Rose's advice and get fingered in the club. Right, we are actually running very, very short on time in another show,

we're starting in just a few minutes in this very room. So let's slow things down a bit. And listen to the quickfire round jingle! This is the quickfire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's always so amusing that it has a long introduction. It's a great prank, it has a long introduction, when the round is really quick, but no one minds that this intro goes so slowly. And that's because of this love, leaky top played by Ben Clarkie Thanks for the credit by a very young Clarkie He's a very talented boy In fact, if you look up Ben Clark on Sophie Chapman talent.com It says he's a BAFTA nominated comedian actor and writer

Oh it's true, it says that Best words for the puppies Who co-created the accomplished sitcom battles. He also co-wrote the BAFTA nominated short film The Blue Door. Oh, it's a spooky film. This is the film to feature. Here's the TV writing include hypothetical And the Emily Attacho

Porridge and Gameface And then at the end it says Ben recently completed filming On the feature film finding Lily I don't know what that is Finding Lily Ben you never told us about that Well instead of finding Lily let's go and find the quick far-round Beautiful Challenge a boy

Yes, well, you don't even know what finding Lily is I looked at our agent's website and said, Ben recently completed filming, finding Lily So I called Ben up and went, great news about finding Lily And he said, who's Lily? Stella McLeod? This is the quick fire round and as our show is all about pumping up the air bed, I would like you to pump up your answers. I'll ask a series of questions and I'd like our panelists

to respond in voices that get increasingly louder and higher as the rounds goes on... YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'd like to use your first names instead. So, Ben and Mike, let's hear those. Ben. What? Oh, Jesus. Tom, get it. All right. Here we go. Off we go. Name the gas, often used with flake balloons, which wedding hails, mixed...

Helium is correct. Dick Fosbury is crazy with inventing a new technique. Boke. The Ijum. Boke. Dick Fosbury is crazy with inventing a new technique. Oh, the eye jump. What? It's got shivers. That's real young. I'm the bad man.

What noise does that... What noise does a fire engine make? Tar... Rosie? No, no... LAUGHTER He's correct. Hit the children's...

Hit the children's rhyme. Hickory, dickory dog, what animal rat... The end... Then... Mouse. Oh, yeah. What is the highest mountain in Wales? He's the children's rhyme, he's got a dickery dog, what animal rat- Then... Mouse. Oh yeah. What is the highest mountain in Wales? Oh...

You're right. LAUGHTER What's Rosie doing to you? Get your fingers out of my teammate. LAUGHTER She assisted you. LAUGHTER Snowden...

It's correct. Which thing that famed for his full setter was the frontman of Bronsky beat in the communards Mike Mike we've got six more questions Mike you've got very high mates get bleat the title of the sci-fi another by Jules Verne 20 20,000. What? Mike was first there. He's done to the sea. Correct. Which gravely for a singer earned himself

the nickname the walrus of love. T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T Rosie Jones What is the name of the horror movie written by and starring John Krasinski Ben Oh Tom Is correct what noises a cow make Rosie What noise does a cow make? Oh, no! Rosie! No!

I like to hear that one more time, please. What noise does a cow make? Sure! Final one, I want to... As loud as this high as you can, what if the name of the Simon the Garfunkel song that begins with the line Hello, darkness, my... Ben!

The Simon, Simon! He's correct! That is the end of the round and the end of the game. So before we find out the final scores, Mike and Rosie, have you got anything to plug? Any place people can find you? Rosie? Yeah, you can find me. Sorry, it's going gonna be even louder.

Yeah. You can find me, if it's... I'm gonna be some really big getting... You can find me in the corner in the club. Yeah. And every year turned on your talent. It's bad. Rub it in.

Yeah, it goes. My 8th birthday, P C C O M A R. My own one day PC come out! Mike, where can folks find you? I don't know. Okay. So, thanks to all of you guys for coming along. As always, check out our Patreon Patreon.com for us. That's a copy of that share. Like, subscribe, rate, and review our podcast.

We're just tweeting, recommending it to your friends. So producer, this is very exciting. What are the final scores? The final scores are... Like, subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. We're just tweeting, recommending it to your friends. So producer, Gwyneth is very exciting. What are the final scores? The final scores are Mike and Ben have 25 and a half. But the winners are Tom and Rosie with 32. Oh! Congratulations, Mike.

And then, a publicly air bed was Tom and Rosie in a night of grumpy puppies with me, although it will be on the lilo. Thanks to, I guess, Rosie Jones. Yeah! And Mike Papis. We've been Papis, see you next time on, Black Shares, Black Shares. Happy's Black Shares, land out with your Matthew Crosby, Ben Crockett, Tom Biver, especially, yes,

Mike Papis and Rosie Jones. It was devised by Papis and Ben Walker. Take plenty of it, he's the way evercoresfolk with big-reast Davis. It was produced by the Corsum, big thanks to Henry, Steve, Claire, and one more good at Matt. To all the wonderful folks who came here today. Joe, add to you a whole full-est thing. Point of slush, you're stabbed out. Here's a secretive blockchain for Acats.

I need to add to you to my boy. CHEERING Well, there you go. What an app. What a cracking app. Will we ever so ill? What a great time. No, that was really, really fun.

I had a tremendous amount of fun. Thanks to Rosie and to Mike for doing it. It was really good. If you enjoy our podcast and you would like to help us keep doing this main feed for free, then a great way to support us is the Patreon. And it is, I still stand by this, it is the best value Patreon out there. Because you get bonus episodes every single week.

You get bonus beefs, you get episodes of FlatShare Pop Round. We've done over 30 episodes of FlatShare Pop Round. You get every single episode of FlatShare Lockdown, which is over 150 episodes of that. You get them all straight away, the second you join, and all you need to pay is four quid a month. What a bargain. If you want to hear more from our guests as well, Mike and Rosie, we always do a little

chat with them after the show, that goes out on the Patreon. So yeah, if you want to get really under the skin of this podcast, maybe it's not a big growth. If you want to see the pulsating veins of this podcast. You want to get into the pulsating blood stream of this podcast and hop over to the Patreon. You'll have a lovely time on this. Absolutely right. As always, this episode was produced by Emma Corsham.

Corsham team. Very quickly, patreon.com, forward slash, pappies, slash shared. That's quite crucial. Nice. Cheers everyone! Bye! Hello everyone! Please be upstanding for today's patron

neighborhood watch roll call cookery show LOL! Yes, yes, yes Fish bash bosh Greg's gourmet nosh We have got a tasty... Pei-boy.

We have got a tasty, patreon feast for you. Let me tell you something. Coriander? Ah, ah, ah, I'm married, ah. Okay. LAUGHTER Take about seven spoonfuls of DVD of Armageddon and stick it in a pot with leaf Oh, god, it came at me quick. LAUGHTER Get as many laser discs of kiss, kiss, bang, bang as you could find. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Grind them up, and they're sure to raise some smiles, especially if they're served with a side dish of Hannah Wiles. Oh, well, look at that, that's... Look at that, there we look at that. Look at that. Look at that, look at that look at that look at that look at that look at that. What's that made out of? I don't know could be the pin packed. I'll never tell but I made it with Evie Southwell. Okay what I'm doing here you'll see this I am finally chopping I'm Dyson. I'm slicing the John Travolta angel movie Michael Put it in the microwave No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, October of course I have. It's a day one of every dish I have ever made. He's been down to market. I've been down to boot fair.

I've picked up some tasty deals. I've got this beat of max of the hunt for a rare October. I'm grindin' it. I'm grindin' it into a fine paste. And I'm slatherin' it all over my body. Hopefully, that's gonna cure my pox. It was a secret recipe given to me by Lou Cox. Oh no, well fingers crossed. fingers crossed.

fingers crossed. On the pox fronds. All the best for you there are. And on the pasta back as well, the backs were. Well, I've got a bootleg copy of the not very good poker film rounders. And just to check, it's all savvy of a, of a ad it prayed over by a cleric. Of course. I'm going to post it. I'd prayed over by a cleric. Of course you would. Yeah, I'm gonna post it. Of course I'm gonna grind it up into patty.

And then I'm post it to my good friend Richard Merrick. Of course you are, of course you are. Of course I am, of course I am. What else would I do with it? I'm not fucking up, am I? Of course you are. Of course you are. If okay, okay, I've got three VHSs of Days of Thunder.

I'm gonna just boil that, reduce it down in the pan until it makes a thick syrup. And then I'm gonna make it even nicer. I'm putting in some curry powder and turning it into Hadley Spicer. Oh, absolutely wonderful. That's lovely. It sounds delicious, actually.

I've got the 12 inch soundtrack to the movie Gone in 60 seconds. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who wants it? You know what? You keep on doing it. Okay, I'll keep on doing it. Oh, it's okay.

In which case, in which case, what I'm going to do is I'm going to put it for a mincer, right? Put it for a mincer, right, put it for a mincer, add in a little bit of tarragon, maybe a bit of oregano and make it into an absolutely delicious meaty ball. And then I'm going to shove it right into the gob of my dear chum, lowest hole. That is lovely. Oh, I've got a laser disc of Harry and the Henderson's. And I'm getting juxtap.

Offer known as Bigfoot and the Henderson's. Bigfoot and the Henderson's depending on the region you might have already found. Yeah, depending on the region. Depending on the region. A lot of people say to me, I bought some Harry and the Henderson's. Can I use it as a substitute for Bigfoot and the Henderson's in one of your recipe? I say it's the same thing. It's the same thing. It is basically the same Zeppelin's and oranges is the opposite of that

My capels and oranges The opposite chalk and trees is what I'm gonna say It's basically it's chalk and chalk it Joke. It's Chalka Joke. It's Chalka Joke. It's the same thing, man. It's Chesent. It's Chesent. It's Apple's and Apple's and Orange's and Orange's.

It's Apple's and Apple's. It's Orange's and Orange's. It's Arya the Eddicens. I'm gonna juice that up. If you're doing that, you're even living. This one's for you, Andrew Tiffin. Beautiful. Oh, off made a toast, it's sandwiched,

using a laser disk of Arlington Road, starring the guy from the Big Lebasky. And I'm gonna serve it up with some olives to Mark Woodpell, Jan Zeees Gowsky. Yeah, it's a solid thriller, that is. It's a solid thriller, that is. It's got a twist in the end that will absolutely blow your taste.

Oh, wait, I think that's it. That'd be real, that'd be real in the days. Right. Right, listen up. Sometimes you can't get the ingredients you want. But let me tell you now I've taped Dan Tase Peak or film for. Oh no. Okay, listen alright, alright.

It's not suffice, it's not that suffice. It's not that suffice. If you're just having some mates around it'll suffice, no one will taste a difference. No one will taste the difference. No, it'll taste the difference. Oh, all I'm saying is grind it up nice, right? Oh yeah, work it, work it using a pestle and mortar. No one's, no one's gonna be any the wiser and that's why I'm gonna give it to my dear friend Oliver. That's very tough, that is very enough.

It's very enough. It's best I could do it. Short notice. All right, I've got a blue ray of swingers and... So what can I do with that? I'm gonna pop it in the blender. Yep. And let me tell you this, it don't off my coffee din.

Oh, it don't off my coffee din, is that right? Offer din, offer din, offer din, why is it bleeding? And some of the gums, because I keep it in discs. I love a disc. I love a disc. You promise yourself you'd quit discs. Never.

Never. Never. I'll send that off to my good friend Sam Brett Akkin. Lovely. I'm preparing a meal from my friend Michael. So I'm serving up raw the angel movie dogma. Please tell me that's on VHS of course it's RoVyA that concludes today's neighborhood watch movie calendary patreon neighborhood watch rock oh my god neighborhood watch roll. Oh my god.