Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Will Duggan & Jen Ives (Find the Pen) S12E40

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to get the pen… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!WithJen Ives - https://twitter.com/jenivescomedianWill Duggan - https://twitter.com/WilldugganPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listen dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben, and I am Matthew, and welcome to another exciting episode of Flakshare Slamdown. Oh, the flagship. It's a good one as well, it's a cracker. Very, very exciting. We'll get onto that episode in a second, but we should just say that a massive thank you to everybody who's already bought tickets for the Christmas show. It's completely sold out. It's sold out in less than 24 hours, which I couldn't believe. Unprecedented. It was like being Harry Styles. It's very much like that. I thought the exact same thing.

It was like being Harry Styles. You put your tickets on sale and boom, they're gone. I can't believe my watermelon sugar here. I tell you what, because of all of this unprecedented demand, maybe we should do a Christmas show next Christmas as well. Do you know what? You've heard it here first guys. That's the way we were.

We're doing huge. We're not gonna put tickets on sale just yet for the Christmas 2023 show, but hand on heart, we're all gonna do it. Guys, it's gonna happen. So what we are trying to do though, is we're trying to work out because obviously, you can't get tickets anymore.

We're trying to work out a way of live streaming it. So that is... That is... That is... Talk me not about to do it from my house. If you want to like... Okay. Okay, I'm into it.

Back in the shed. We'll just stick a laptop in front of a microphone. It'll be great. Yeah. Yeah, you can do it from your house. I'm enjoying the chance to get out into Soho. So I'll be doing it from the Peter Express around the corner.

Very nice. Very nice. Peter, you're in the back, Peter. So the back, Chris, Merry Christmas, jazz, lovely. Lovely, Merry Christmas, jazz. So yeah, watch this space. We'll put it in the, obviously, we'll put the details in one of the main

feed episodes, or you can of course follow us on Twitter or Instagram, Pappy's tweets on Twitter, Pappy's comedy on Instagram, that is where we post about that kind of thing. And yes, hopefully in the next week or so, tickets for the live stream should be available. So watch out for that. But now let's get into the episode.

This was such a fun one. It was Jen Ives and Will Duggan and we have. Oh, it was, it was a corka and I'll tell you as well, this is something to look forward to as you listen to it. I would say one of the argeist, bargeist beefs we've ever had. Yes. From our lovely front row audience members. I won't say any more, but a spicy beef. It was great. I really enjoyed it. It was a real pepper army. It was a really yeah, it was a bit of an animal But right let's let's crack on with it enjoy it folks and we will see you on the other side Tom

What is it? Yes, slippery little devil you are slippery your heart slippery. Certainly am. I've greased my entire body up Thank you slippery, you're half slippery. Certainly am. I've greased my entire body up. Thank you. And I just dropped my teeth coming to my eyes. I have a mad time to do it. It's not even the winter yet, but I've already signed myself into my underwear. Listen, that aside, I need to write my memoirs.

So, one of you short story? It's a good title, actually. A bad title for you. Love it. But one of you chumps has got to find me a pen. Oh, yeah. That's the challenge this week. It's a major old show.

It's not going to be me. It's not going to be me. Not me, me. It's going to be you, you. Okay, great. What about you, John? Oh, uh, uh, She had a, you! Okay, friend. What about you, John? Oh, uh, shall the difference between me and a pen? Yeah, what's the difference between you and a pen, Clark?

Yeah, I'd love to know. A pen couldn't write. Oh, no. Oh, no. Lucky, that's broken my tiny heart. LAUGHTER That's been the first of my short stories. It's, Tom, Tom, what about you?

Oh, it's not going to be me, Matthew. I had a terrible time in Penn's. I want to tell you all about it. I'm about it. I'm about it. 10 years ago, I invented this incredible device. Oh, yeah. Life-changing device.

It was a pair of them. They were side by side. And what they do is they'd sift out all your old byros for you. All I wanted to do was build this invention, I remodeled my house, I sold my car, but in the end, it was too expensive. It was too expensive. It was too expensive. And it was too expensive.

Two devices that sift out your old byrones. Yeah, yeah. It's the at-home listeners, the audience are on their feet. Walking out as well. There's only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a flat showdown. Shesland! Shesland!

Shesland! Shesland! Shesland! Shesland! Shesland! Shesland! Hello and welcome to Flat Shesland, down the panel show that says, Oh, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, That I'm serious Cause to lose all my pens well, that's just so typically me Oh baby baby oops, I sure need a pen I've played with your heart now I've lost my pen

Oh baby baby oops, you think I'm in love That I sent from above I'm not a man with a pen. I'm the Hotel landlord, Matthew Cosby. Let's meet my pen pals, Tom Perry, I'm gonna get caught. Oh! But you can't find a pen on your own, lads. What, who have you brought with you

to rummage around in our desk drawers tonight? Ben, I've brought my steps, sister. It's Jen! Jen! Jen! Oh! APPLAUSE Happy to be here.

Happy to have you here, Jen. It's really good. What kind of a person you to live with? What kind of a housemate flatmate are you? I'm sort of like one of those housemates that kind of stays in that room for very, very long time. Oh, yes. I heard it.

It's an insult. An insult? An insult? An insult, they hermit. An insult? An people like, she's a dream. Yeah, they're like, where's the rent? Very popular. I'm just there, you know, communing with the bedbugs. Oh, yeah, you were telling me this before we started. I hope this is not, I mean, you've brought something to spare. No, I did bring it up. Yeah. You're currently dealing with an infestation. Not in your room.

No, not in my room. Jairna, fame is the clean person. Not in your room, but in your housemates room that is the landlord's refuge and steal with. Well, no, it's not in my housemates room either. It's in like the communal area. Oh, so there are everybody's bedbugs. Bedbugs are all.

They're more like bedbugs. You've got a bed in your sitting room. This is a pull out bed. Ah! No, that's... They're pull out bedbucks. LAUGHTER But they're definitely here. Yeah.

Very bad at breeding though. LAUGHTER Very droll, guys. Very... Really droll, actually. They find a way. They find a way. They find a way. They find a way.

They find a way. So what's the situation? How are you going to deal with these bed bugs? What's going to? I'm going to meet that. Yeah, it's going to be. You can run out of the place, aren't you? Well, my landlady is not, I was on the phone today

and she's not very keen to get rid of them. She thinks I brought them in from Edinburgh, even though we had them before Edinburgh. Right. Are they paying more rent than you can? a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r

Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r

Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r Gweithio'r with them trapped in there with... We have to leave. They complained about us first. Yeah. So you're being evicted and the bedbugs are getting in the rule of the roost. Yeah. Well, I can only... I was going to apologise like nothing's doing me. That's my story about us, please. That's the game, all right? That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I told you that pull out bed in good faith.

That was completely clean when I found it in the streets. Anyway, who have you brought with you this week? That's a terrible news, the Jumburese in danger. Yes, I've been closing ceremony. We need to do a huge spectacle. So I've brought somebody where it's huge spectacle. My stunt double, Will Duggan. Will Duggan is here.

Now Will, what kind of a person you to live with? Reasonable. Yeah. Now, Will, what kind of a person you to live with? Reasonable. Yeah. Also, I really like this podcast. I listened to it. Well, Joan was talking. I forgot I was on it. And when you looked, she was like, oh, chef, I do something.

I am fine to live with. I think I'm reasonably neutral. But I think I can, I just find existing quite a chore. Okay you don't sound that reasonable. No, no. So you know like when you live with someone and you do with a laundry and then two days later it's back. Oh yeah yeah yeah find that very very hard to deal with. Yeah it's tough, they're wearing clothes. Yeah but you know you just exist for a day and then Hoover needs to be done and there's washing up and I just find it unreasonable to my reasonableness.

You know, I just want, I think we all just sit in stasis, not shedding our skin follicles. So you want to be crygently frozen? Ideally, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The perfect flat share, you crygently freeze yourself and then that's, I mean that is like the end of most of your problems, isn't it? You know the start of Alien. Yes, when they're all asleep. Yeah, yeah, in the potsy and flat share that for me.

Hyper-space, very fast, no one's talking, delicious. I was thinking, well, I can solo, and you can just hang you on the wall. Oh, yeah, no one. That's well. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do. Would you be listening?

Would you hear? Or would you be? Well, you're like, you're Well, you're like screaming inside. Ah, wake me up! Inside! Get wake up! So annoying! It's not often in 2022, someone has an everness in the show, but I did enjoy it.

What? It's a surprise myself, though. It's good. It's a real blast, has an everness in the show. No, but I did enjoy it. What? Surprise myself, then. It's good. It's a real blast, and a blast in the past. What are your thoughts on paper roach, mate? Don't get him started. Generalives. Yeah.

I love paper roach. Do you have a little paper roach? No, that's not that. So we could do a paper roach carry-off session, but we'll do that after the show. That's a papy roach. Well, papy roach. It's a good idea, actually.

And one of specials. A one-off special where we perform the songs of paparote. We could, you know, we could get two dwindling fan bases together. LAUGHTER could get two dwindling fan bases together. Well listen we have met our guests but let's When you used me before, it's across the teasing up the eye. I You chewed on my butter. I Don't really know why And you didn't put my lid on When you were right to your girl

You just took me in your backpack don't put me in your backpack because I'm your viral I'm covered in really old days I fucked up your chin chin Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not.

Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. I I'd always assumed you put those in imposed. No, no, no. Now we play them here, but the audience was just watching us, listening to the thing that

we've done. Yeah, it's... Why was Morris seizing? Have you ever, like, shown someone like a YouTube video that you think is really good? But then... Because you're terrifying. Everyone looks like... Yeah?

Yeah? Yeah. They're sort of going, how long is it going? Oh yeah, another twenty-six. I can pretty handle that. Yeah. They're going to second verse I'm leaving. So, the first round is called Penn Name and Teller.

I'm gonna give you the name of a book, the author's name and its plot, and I would like you to give us three plots, one of which is real, the other two you've made up on the spot, your opponent's worth the guess, which is the real storyline. Two points if you get it right, two points if they don't.

I mean, two points the other, the other thing. That's a really high stakes game. I mean, a generous move tonight. Two points, whatever happens. Okay. Great. So that is four points to you guys. Four points to you guys.

Are we round two? Okay. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Tom, you are up first. Right. Now, Tom, your novel I can tell you is Feast by Graham Marsterton. Feast by Graham Marsterton.

There's the real plot, you've got that there. Now, Ben and Jen, listen carefully, only one is real. Let's have three plots for Feast by Graham Marsterton. Feast by Graham Martyrton. Feast by Graham Martyrton, the plot is a restaurant critic finds out an exclusive restaurant is serving mice as its main dishes. Feast. Feast. Feast by Graham Musterton. A restaurant critic finds out that an exclusive restaurant is serving old people as its main dishes. Feast. Feast by Graham Musterton. Feast by Graham Musterton. A restaurant critic finds out an exclusive restaurant is serving children as its main dishes.

What a copper. Oh yeah. That's the how. It's absolutely done. You were a kipper there and I'm delighted. Yeah. Kipper's wasn't one of the answers I should say. Remember it's mice, old people and kids.

Right. Mice and people. What do you think, Kid? I don't think it's mice or don't think it's by Saturi. I think it was... Right, I think it was in his head and that came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That could have been based on this.

He's right to be an adaptation of feasts by great masters. Well, what would be a more compelling read to you? The consumption of old people or the consumption of children? Well, I'd go back to my side, actually. Oh, old people have been so good. Jewy. Jewy, tough, grumpy. It sure is.

They're not still alive. Oh. Okay. They've been slow-cooked overnight. Oh. But it's called feast, and a feast signifies a lot of food. That's true. And I think old people as cheery as they are,

there's more of them than... Rough fucking loads. And mice, don't even get me... Don't even get me started on mice. Yeah, that's right. Famously small. Yeah, yeah. Oh.

Yeah, okay. So, I'll be going with children. It's big grim in it. Yeah. Let's go with the kids. Yeah, okay, so it's I'll be going with children big remin it. Yeah Let's go with the kids you're locking in kids kids, okay Okay, feast my great master a restaurant critic finds out an exclusive restaurant is serving children. Yeah, that's it. It's the more likely scenario. There we go, now. Next up.

And are tempted to read it? Yep. Well, we go selling copies afterwards. So, Jen, your novel is taken by the Lightning Bolt. By Colt Alcove, let's say a three please, Tom and Will, which one rings your bell? Okay, so a Greek man is captured by the God Zeus. And yeah, that's Greek. He's captured by the God Zeus and he has to become his aid on Mount Olympus and that is taken by the Lightning Bolt by Colt Alcove.

One man. Colt Alcove's a good name. It's a great name. It's a lot better than taken by the Lightning Bolt. You two pair. A dog shit name for a book. Yeah. You should have just called it Colt Alcove, wrote this.

LAUGHTER By Colt Alcove. LAUGHTER Colt Alcove. You're welcome. LAUGHTER Colt Alcove. Colt Alcove. You're welcome. LAUGHTER Er, taken by the Lightning Bolt by Colt Alcove is one man's erotic escapades with this model of a horse he has built from metal for sexual purposes.

LAUGHTER We're all picturing the horse, aren't we? That ain't a conventional saddle. To look this gift horse in the mouth. Sex. And finally, taken by the Lightning Bolt by Colt Alcove is a memoir about one man's experience with the second Metallica album ride the lightning.

Okay, so three very plausible plots there from Jen, to and off. To and off stars, for Colt Alcove. Which one, which one are you feeling drawn towards? I think taken by the lightning bolt is too literal, right? Taken by Zeus. Yeah. I think the second one is almost the plot of the play, Equus. And I think Colt Alcove sounds like someone who's into Metallica.

I do think that the Metallica one's real. Alcove has a lot of explaining to do. Because it's a weird title for a terrible book, if that's the case. I think it's Horsex. What's the name of the... That's the name of your memory, isn't it? What's the name of the second Metallica album again? Right, the Lightning. Right, the Lightning.

So I guess the question we have to ask ourselves is, how into Metallica is Jen? Do you think she knows that that's the second Metallica album? Yes, I think she's a big Metallica fan. I think she does, yeah. I've had having spent time in a car with Jen. The music is just far too angry. Okay. That's good. Put the Libert far too angry. OK. That's good. It's just that.

Put the liberty on and enjoy yourself. Like everyone else. Er, I like that. Yeah, I think you're right with Zeus. He's 2 root 1. We all sang to metronomy in that car. LAUGHTER It was after the fifth song that started raw. It was giving a brain.

In that case, I think it's a horse sex. Horse sex, please. It was after the fifth song that started In that case I think it's horse sex please Jen oh yeah Yeah, it was Alcove you perverts classic Alcove of course by the rules of the game two points each team there Classic alcohol. Of course, by the rules of the game, two points reached in there. LAUGHTER Well, thank you, sir. This is for you. Your novel is The Bear Comes Home by Raffys Abour.

Raffys Abour. Raffys Abour. Raffys Abour. Oh, man. Can we hear three versions of what that book might be about, Ben and Jen, which one is real? Let's have one of them be sex with the bear, please. LAUGHTER The bear comes home by a raffisabor, a story of one bear's journey back over the Arctic

after a thoring winter. By a raffisabor. The bear comes home by a raffisabor. A restaurant critic finds out that... Let's serve in my bed-air, or the bed comes home by Raffi's abour. It's, you know, it's the story of... You know, it's very simply... Oh boy, you fucked him. You've got it. It's the story of... Simply, you know, you're fucked up.

If you've got it, it's the story of, right the lightning man, right the lightning man. You know, it's the story of saxophone play in bare and his journey to become a successful jazz musician. Very simply, no more questions. OK, is it a double bluff? I think so. I reckon it's number three.

Really? Don't be dumb. LAUGHTER What talk has to do with it? I don't think he's done. LAUGHTER What took us through is, took us through Will's answers there. So we started off with a bear travelling back through the attic. Through the Arctic, after a thoring winter. The first one is the one that he read eloquently.

Confidently? Yeah. The second one... Oh, he he read eloquently. Confidently. Yeah. The second one. Oh, he was playing a football there. It wasn't there. Yeah, and that was he chumped. Imagine if it was there. Wow.

But the thing is, I have spent time with him in a flat, and he's a widely-going. But because also he is stupid. Ah. Right. Right. I would go for them. I would say the first one is probably the correct one. But if you want to risk it, I'm happy to.

I've got no stakes in this. Everyone's getting two points, guys. It doesn't really matter. Clarke, will you risk it for a biscuit? What are you going to go for, though? I'll go with, I'll fat-gem. Let's go with number one. You're back in Gen.

We'll a wily little boy. It's a saxophone playing bet. And you're a music player. We can do it! That is how we play a wily. I'm a good guy, we're. I told you it was wily. OK, now.

Is Rafinkabaw related to charge like a ball? You like to hope so, wouldn't you? You like to hope so, yeah. So it's that kid's book. It's Zabaw, not Gabaw. Is Rafinkable related to charge like a ball? You like to question. You'd like to hope so, wouldn't you? You'd like to hope so, yeah. So it's that kid's book. It's Zabor, not Gabor. Thank you so much for stalling for me, but I can't open the air. Also, and I don't want to lower the tone of this podcast.

I have got a semi after that. I've never been after you with myself. That's going to part one, everybody, man. No part two, we've run out of time. Clarky. Yes, hello. Clarky, mate. The Butterfly Kid by Chester Anderson.

Yes. A little kid. Oh, yeah. LAUGHTER In a cocoon. Oh. Hatches into a butterfly and then gets caught and hung up in a museum. I appreciate that you're trying to do the double bluff as well but I don't know.

It's a tripler. It's too soon. The Butterfly Kid by Chester Anderson. Aliens arrive in 1960s America and supply the hippies with drugs that makes their LSD trips become real. Oh. Sounds like a good one. I hope it's that one. Good point. Yeah.

The butterfly kit by Chester Anderson. A boy gets lost in the desert and digs the biggest hole that's ever been dug. It's a good plot. It's a good plot. Just one hole into that. Oh, he's got to get on with the droll stuff. I'm telling you. Have you learned the word droll today? My wife asked me last week, she said, what does it mean? And I said, I don't know. I don't know, but I definitely am it. Right, so what do you think Tom will, with her three sort of studded responses to the idea?

One is a boy in a cocoon, hatches into a butterfly, hung up in a museum. The other one is hippies and they're getting drugs from aliens and then the other one was a boy going to the desert, the butterfly kid and digging the biggest hole. Anyone's ever dug. What's your gut? My gut's really strong on this one, is yours? One, two. Oh! This is exciting. Well, because I can't believe you don't go, not go for the big holler gun. Isn't that good insane?

Crucially they don't dig, do they butterflies. And also the plot of the third plot is the plot of the book holes by Louis Sackert. No this is whole, it's the prequel, one half. It's very, it's like it's very whole, it's very whole. Why do you think two? Because I think one, just because the butterfly kid makes no sense for the aliens to get in the LSD. Hang on, it's, yeah, but that's like, the butterfly kid, it's the story about a kid who's a butterfly.

You kid it, it's two on the nose. It's right on the nose. That's how books are. Like Harry Potter and a Chamber of Secrets. It's about a lad called Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Yeah. Is there a reason I didn't pick Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as well? But that's how cool. That's a two big recent action. Yeah. But yeah, you're right. Some titles are actually descriptive and that is a reason why it could be that one. Yes, that's true. I think the author, the author isn't part of this game.

They's wrote a book. Chester. Chester. Chester. Yeah. What is a weathering height? What's the name of the author, please? Look, come back to that question.

LAUGHTER In the interval. LAUGHTER It's Chester Anderson. Chester Anderson, he's like... He sounds like a, you know, Scientology bloke who's trying to do what, you know, he's, it write that book.

Yeah, do you know what? I, as your guest here, I'm seeding to you, which gended with Clarkie, not it, but to my... Let's go with what I think, I feel it. Yeah, I think it's LSDA, it's definitely. Clarky, it's the fucking LSDA. It's I, I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I loveer. That's what's going on there. But he's not a kid though. I think a kid in the sense of like he's a young person to the post-war of the old stiffs. He's a young hippie, you know. Cool. Sure. I mean, I've not read it. Speaking of young stiff, you want to know what he's done to Will Semy?

Absolutely nothing. Remain. So, producer Emma, please tell us the story of tonight by giving us the scores. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Tom and Will, you're in the lead. Ben and Jen, trailing behind. But that's no reason to think that life's a bit and then you buy a row.

They're still everything to play for in part two. See you after this. Welcome back to Flat Shares Landown before the break. Well, Tom and Will, we're in the lead. That hasn't changed. And neither's my yen for a pen. So let's pop the lid off and play round two, it's flat games! GAME!

Let's play together, GAME! Let's play forever, roll the dice, spin that thing, put that there. Who's your toll? GAME! To get loose you get nothing, GAME! If you win you get goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, goals, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go This week we're playing our version of Blankety Blank, which we're calling Lankety Manc. Right, it's so... He writes itself, Katon. I would like each player to sing about a famous tall person to the tune of a song by a popular Manchester band.

LAUGHTER Lankety manc... Oh, it's so cool! It writes itself! Your teammate has to guess about whom you're singing two points for a correct guess if you get it wrong It's two points as always I'm in a generous mood tonight guys I can tell you that so it's a tall person you're singing about I should just clarify

What I consider a tall person anyone over five seven that's what Anyway, yes as always points for a tune for this and person, anyone over 5'7. That's why I'm using that. That's the same. Anyway, yes, as always, points for a tune for this and extra points for our kid. So Ben, Ben, you are up first. I'd like you to sing about this swizzle stick that I've given you there to the tune of Moving On Up by M People. Jen, who's he singing about? DJ Cors all, I'm a big damn bird. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got the baby. I was a bit pious, pious, pious.

I had it before he said that. Of course, you didn't, of course, you didn't. No, she didn't. No, she didn't. Right, I'll give you a different total person. Yeah, that's fair, actually. Right, I'll give you a different total person. Yeah, that's fair actually. I mean cheating.

It was going so well. It wasn't. For Ben, that was going well. I don't think Ben's ever heard M people. It was Amy, right? Before I take the points away, no, it's not immune. I know. Of course.

It's being silly. Well, can we end this silly list right now because we're not here to have fun. Right. Two points. Clarke. Yeah. Clarke. Yeah.

You've got a new tour person. Okay, I see. It's still moving on up. Yeah. And ironically, she's had a small Very draw the future can you show you show very draw? Well, I do Don't give them that power to You'll regret that right Clarkey yes, you're ready? Yeah. Do your caution. Spin it.

Look at my hat, look at my beard. I'm not a big, I'm not a big boy I was a president and I am a strong man Oh look at me here I'm going now Are they mad? I'm surprised The slaves and the guys What was so good Oh, the things I am a big guy I am a strong man boy

I thought he was sadly got strong in the first It's all caught in the first The chorus now Move it, ah, not give it a go sang over the middle eight there, Clarke I'm not good One of us song there of course You brought the audience to the absolute verge of applause there, Clarke, and...

Gen Ives, who was Clarke singing about there? to the absolute verge of applause there, Clarkie. And... LAUGHTER Jen Ives, who was Clarkie singing about there? What famously tall person was Clarkie singing about? That was my favourite American president. Donald Abraham Lincoln. LAUGHTER It was Abraham Lincoln! Sorry, Clarkie, what are we going to give Clarky out of ten?

Out of ten. Out of ten for for tunefulness and performance. I think it's got to be, because of the full start I'm giving you six. We have six out of ten, Clarky. A lovely, I know, I know, I know, tough, but there we go. Right, Will, you are up now. Thank you. There you go. You, Will, you are up now. Thank you. There you go. Your anthem is of course, don't look back in anger.

But Tom, which Lankinstein's monster is Will on about? DJ Corsum, come on, you know. Sleep inside the grounds of Hogwarts. Don't you know you might find some creatures to play. I'm quite tall and my mom was a giant So I've got a dragon But that's okay So I'll start a revolution with my name Because they said the creeds I had included both beaks

Something comes next in the song The creeds I had included Bobbie Something comes next in the song But it needs to rhyme with Coltrane Not John Robbie, he's my man And I play them just the same Cause you ain't a lot of something to do That was great It was so hard, you got it, you got it, you got it That's great! You got this, you got it!

And so Harry can wait! He knows it's too late! Cause we're walking on by the cringots! My crick, the bug being followed by his assay! But don't look back in anger! My click the one big fellow dies Well, talking everybody Beautiful performance gorgeous performance straight away. I'm giving you 10 out of 10 for that loved it loved it absolutely loved it That's very generous. I'm in the move, it's not your fucking art. The ball.

I gave you a second bottle of cherry. I could have disqualified you. The ball was very low. Yeah. Hagrid. It's Hagrid is the correct answer. APPLAUSE Jen, you are going to be favouring us with Back for Good, speaking of Barlow. By Take That! Oh, wow!

By Take That! Very draw, very draw! But Ben, whichever is shamer, is Jen singing about DJ Corson, take us right back. It's okay, that'm standing on this course. I had some snows breeze and I ate an atom. Oh yeah. And then Steven Spielberg made a version of my life on film. Oh yeah, it's a lovely kind of time where everybody came to my world Oh yeah

Whatever I said Whatever I did, I didn't mean it I just want some stars' berries Not enough enough I used to be a book And this is the worst time of my life. I can't sing. I'm a big man. No, you got to do the whole song.

Oh, I know. So it's start There's my moment That was incredibly incredibly real that performance incredibly real I'm gonna give you eight out of ten for the singing beautiful absolutely beautiful, but Clarky who was Jen singing about I would say the BFG Who was Jen singing about? I would say the BFG? It was the BFG! Come on!

APPLAUSE Tom! Yes! Finally, get us weeping with a bit of lovell terrace apart by Joy Division. A huge song for sure, but which cloud headbutter is Tom singing about Will, that's for you to discern. Oh, yeah. DJ Corsham, tear this mother apart. Well, it just did not last, so I decided to move into the World of Podcasts. I had a lot of fun with girls, yes, most of them I fancy.

Until the one I met and married was a woman gonna have a tattoo I dance, I dance like a robot I talk with people quite a lot I advertise for betting companies For that in company I'd have a reputation as a bit of a Oh I'll give the phone a bit Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, What do I give you for that? Problems are spacked bottom. Up until it got us into hot water, I would say it was a beautiful rendition.

I'm going to give you 9 out of 10. Lovely 9 out of 10. To get those elusive extra points, Will, I was really worried that people were going to kick off of this episode because Jen got the snows breeze and snows come and was mixed up from the old alcohol jokes. I thought you were really worried, were you? I just want to point it out now. I thought...

I thought, are you going to get some real tweets about that? And then... equals Peter Crouch a f***ing idiot. I really saw that all along. Allegedly, allegedly. Allegedly. You're not going to believe it. The actual answer was Tom Perry. 6.2, maybe.

Yes. You're spoiling career. Never quite took off. Don't want our agato, Mr. Amato. Yeah, Peter Crouch. It was Peter Crouch. Oh, I shouldn't say that, should I? It wasn't Peter Crouch. It was Peter Crouch, oh, I shouldn't say that, should I? It wasn't Peter Crouch. You loved the issue, it was called Heva Small.

Peter Crouch, mate. Yeah? Two small nuns. Yeah. Very draw. LAUGHTER So, producer, Emma, in your tallest voice possible, please, what has that done to the scores? How do tall people talk?

Very good, yeah. Oh, okay. So the tallest voice I can manage. It's very good. I don't know how tall we will turn. They're always posh on that topic. Oh, I'm sorry, push. Okay.

I'm tall. Ben and Jen have 20. Someone will, 29. Oh. Oh. OK. From tall folk to the tall order of bringing justice to the lawless world of cohabiting, it's time for Be Brothers.

Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a V. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from Yes, it's beef bros, we're each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat share based beef and today's one comes from Georgia, who's in the audience. Hey, Georgia. Hi. How are you doing? Very well, thank you. Okay, now, this is what George has written here. My partner has moved in and does not stop eating

We go out for a meal and he's still hungry to eat another full two meals The old full two meals that everyone Two full meals please So Ben and Jen you are on Georgia's site. Tom and Will, you are on the site now. What's your husband's name? What's your partner's name, sorry? Dan. Now, Dan, you're here. The hungry boy himself is here.

Tom and Will, you are on Dan's site. A couple of big hungry boys. Defending a hungry boy. A couple of two full meals over there. Two full meals there. Right, snout. Before, you know what I'm sketching be a hungry boy. I'm going to be a hungry boy. I'm going to two fill meals over there. Two full meals there, right? Now. Before we move our sketch-track, doesn't it? The two full meals. You should try and do that.

Dan Tom Board as well. Right. Any questions? You'd like to have a cross examination. Any questions? We'll start with Georgia. Any questions for Georgia? Either side.

Now, Ben and Jenny, you're on Georgia side. Tom and Will, you're on Dan's side. Any questions for Georgia, either side. Now Ben and Jenny are on Georgia side. Tom and Will, you're on downside. Any questions for Georgia? Does he eat the meal at like, does he go home and then eat more meals? Yeah, so we've been out to restaurants before, nice restaurants, you know, where there's loads of food on the menu that he likes.

And we end up at McDonald's or KFC or he gets home and still is hungry. So you're going to go in like a fancy kind of like new voc cuisine type thing that's only served small portion. No, we're talking about... Decent size portions. Decent big, better Italian style portions, yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to. Yeah, I'm not going to.

He still have to go, you just have to go and get a singer burger and happy meal afterwards. It's not just that, we went to the theatre the other day and he ended up having a philic tower burger. At the theatre? Two mini burgers. Wean you know these pepsies, yeah. And fill it as one. That is bang out of the window. Basically about six different meals of the KFC menu.

Is it more than spur-lock? Which he man is? I'm sort of a big experiment. I should also mention that you can do this in about 10 minutes, 10-15 minutes as well. So what's your beef? Have you seen it? Take the marion. It costs a fortune.

Who's paying for it? I'll pay for that It depends what about the food at home like is he preparing a lot of meals for himself? Absolutely, yeah, yeah, are you you got like a YouTube channel or something? You don't one want those competitive eating things. He should. Yeah, get some monetization, get some income coming in. Are you feeling like... Overlips, does he pay you a ten...

Does the food... Is it woman versus food? It is, it really is. Like do you feel not... You're not his main focus when the what's the food there? I open the door when he comes home and it's straight to the kitchen, I have to have to. Is the fridge the only thing he's eating out? Tom! Tom!

Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Please, please draw. Far too good. Very good. Very good. Very good. The roll of it. Sex. Very to draw far too draw very raw Sex

Serious question. Have you taken him to the doctors? Not yet because there's a thing called worms that sometimes Thank you for that. I will take you up one that I'll put out. I'll put you down. I do not offer it. James, get a check down for worms upwards. Sorry, Jen, your office wouldn't be the first time. I've got a very active job. That was my next question. What's your job?

I'm a carpenter, so I build lofts. Jesus didn't need that much. Are you sure? A couple of carpenter, so I build lofts. Jesus didn't need that much. Are you sure? A couple of legs, bread and wine. It's fine, bread and wine. Famously very good at portion control. Yes. LAUGHTER

Five fish, two loaves, that's it. Bit of water on a sponge. LAUGHTER Now, I'll skip out lunch. I'll skip out lunch. Oh, Dan, I've got a question, mate. What about lunch? Nothing.

Nothing. Yeah, so I do that as well. It's nothing. I have no breakfast either. So I make it up for a leave. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? That's not... I do that sometimes.

Sometimes I'll get up and I'll go, I have an breakfast today. I'm'm gonna have a dominoes piece. Yeah, yeah, I do do that. Well, I have a good seep for you the day. Can you talk us through? So an average day, I mean, you wake up, I wake up, you don't have anything at all in the morning. At least he wakes up straight.

It's always touching the ice cream. Six foot, you wake up in the morning. Okay, she makes me a coffee. It's good to work. Okay, I mean, yeah. I go to work full day. You can prepare all that food, but you can't make it. I don't coffee.

So, well... He's not that weird. What do you do for a job? I work for a technology firm. So I work from home most of the time. She starts at, oh, eight thirty nine o'clock? I've gone to Spain. I want you to win, but you're coming across quite unlikable, Zika.

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER This is... It's... I'll do the cooking for you, Frank. I'm not hungry. I'll do the cooking. I'll do the cooking.

No, I'm sure you do, the cooking. So you... See, you skip lunch, you're working, you're... I work at a full day, I've got you stuck... You're working at the food now, you're stuck. You're doing your carpentry, you're doing your joinery. On the way home, you ain't on the way home, are you... Stopping off in a chocolate bar? That's about it. So chocolate bar and that's it.

So all you've had to that up to that point, say six, maybe seven o'clock, you've all you've had in the day as a cop in a chocolate bar. Yeah. And sometimes a chicken burger and chicken wings. Oh, we've all done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're right. We're right.

What if you try to say this to make yourself a little bit? I'm a little bit. What have you had today so far? How long have you got? Who knows. Well, got home, had carbonara, and then... That was the first meal. That was the first meal.

That was three portions of carbonara. No, it wasn't. No, it was. No, it was too, it wasn't free. It was too fucking cheap. It was a carbon-taste. It was a carbon-taste. And then we shared online chicken wings.

When we got here. Yeah. We shared some wings. You got the bones. Okay, so you've had two carbon aras. Where you going after this? Chicken wings. Well, maybe done all.

Have you considered breaking up? You've only just gotten together. I don't see a future. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Get happy with you after this. But we do need to solve this. Any further questions before we carry on? Any questions for Dan or for Georgia? Yeah, Dan. Are there any foods that you don't like? Oh, is there. LAUGHTER Leave him!

Leave me alone! LAUGHTER What does it do like, Georgia? There is such a long list, I have to keep the list on my phone. To keep a list of that? Not bad. I'm not that bad. Have you got the list on your phone?

Get the list down, that's what it means. I want to see the list. I think it's important evidence. Would you mind doing it to two N people's moving on the line? I bet. Go on, let's. I can I see the list. Absolutely.

Yeah, just. This is it. Okay. Thank you. That's how it is. It's talk is through. Oh, wait a second. It is literally as a list.

It says, Dan's no list. Tomatoes. Salad. There's a separate, those are separate. No, separate. Don't try and trick me. What happened to the protein? Mashed potatoes, but you're right with other types of toes.

I was tortured with mashed potatoes. Tell us more. I used to go and see my father and he used to put a plate of mashed potatoes, probably were that big on my plate, three times a week. And I thought, no, not for a minute. There's something you're leaving out. No, no, seriously. I was forced to eat it.

Kidney beans and others apart from baked. LAUGHTER I mean, I'm supposed to be against it, but I'm on his side now. We should say for the listener at home, he's eight years old. I just like the distinction, so kidney beans and others apart from baked, and then straight after that, beans. Is that like runner beans, sort of, yeah. Well, why are you running beans?

Pickles, here's a crazy one, chips. Oh! Oh, all sort of potatoes. I've got them roasted. You've got your McDonald's all the time. You don't like chips. No, I don't need the chips. Hash brown.

You have a hash brown? Hash brown, yeah. I've got onion in it. It's got onion in it. It's got a big chip. Bit of a mix, you know. So if you put something in the mash, you would probably be all right with it.

Well, I don't know. Susage? Must have. I won't even go near, man. I won't even go near, man. Turn it off, mate. Pummin, I was on break. And then we've got three more. We've got three left, do you want to hear her?

Goats cheese? The winner, thank you. Brussels sprouts. I mean who eats, who eats, someone by middle of each stem? And ricotta. Ricotta? Thank you. Now I'm going to take it to the close out with Ricotta, but I mean, I mean, that's a tinder match. Sorry. Right, hopefully that is enough information for our team to make their cases. I feel like like we do have to move on, so without further

a do. I'm going to... I wasn't even the round. Without further a do, I'm going to call upon Gen to make the case. For the prosecution, you have a minute starting. Oh yeah, you're going to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a minute to remember, you are on Georgia side starting now? Okay, well, I mean, it's clear from the list, I think, that Georgia is trying her best every day. She's being eaten out of house and home, like old mother hobbit. But young. And, yeah, what's his name again?

Dan. Sorry, sorry that it's not as memorable as Jesus. Dan's making a lot of excuses for himself. I think he's got a problem, possibly a tapeworm. I feel good energy from the two. I think you're going to have a long and happy life together. I think you just need to deal with your culinary situation. How long have I got? I've got eight seconds left.

What can I say? I just think she's a nice person. I get sincerity from her. I get devious lies from him. I think. Yeah, so these are only the meals we know about. Well, genives, we're really genives there. I'll put in the case for the prosecution, very compelling, especially compelling summation at the end there. Will, you're going to open the case for the defence, your minute starts. Now, in one of literature's greatest exponents, all of a twist,

the boy says, may I have some more? And the man says, no, more, he says, and he's the bad guy. That is essentially what Georgia is. A workhouse owning slave master. I just think that if that is hungry and wants to eat, who are we to stop him? We heard earlier that he had several meals before going to the theatre and I know it's very odd to

not be full after Mamma Mia. But, erm... If he's eating, that is his issue, his cholesterol, his early heart attack and death. It is not any business of yours if the man needs to eat then let him eat. Also, on a side note, break up. You don't like each other. Right, we'll dug in everybody. We'll dug in. Okay, Georgia, Dan, how do you think it's going so far?

Dan, I'll start with you. I know who's sleeping on the sofa. Not you. Not me. He's sleeping on the sofa. Not... Definitely you. Not me. He's sleeping in the kitchen mate. Okay, let's move on to the prosecution, Ben. Hello, Ben.

Now, you're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Of course I will. You have exactly a minute. Remember now, you are on Georgia side and your minute starts. Now, well, I too would like to go to one of the literary greats, the very hungry caterpillar. That bloody rascal. He ate and he ate and he ate and what happened? He ate and he ate and he ate and what happened? He turned into a chrysalis and then he turned into a butterfly boy. I'd got hung in a museum. So I think we've all learnt a lesson there, and I don't know what that lesson is.

The prosecution is going to have an apple. Ben Clark, everybody, Ben and Dick Clark. Well, all the remains is for the Defence to state their case. Now, Tom, will you be doing this as yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a John Grisham defense lawyer from Deep South, Mr. Fanshawe Standin. Fanshawe Standin, presiding and providing your miniature junior hyplagans now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury here, I can see a lot of you local folk out there with furrowed brows. Confused faces, damn dead lawyers lawyers dead from the big city.

Coming down here using big fancy words, caterpillars. Why? Call it a green worm and move on. LAUGHTER A lot of talk here today about these literary classic works of art. I recognize some of you from the chapel on Sunday, only one book round here that stands the test of time, written by Dr. God himself. Oh Bible book.

Night not escape your notice that there happens to be a cop entering that dead Bible book. Went by the name of Dr. Jesus God. I'll never read that book myself but my mama told me about it every night. You remember the parable of Jesus' H. Christ, the doctor copped and turned the man with the tapeworm. He arrives off the hill, tired of his day, walks into town, man with a tapeworm. Jesus says, I got this, he takes a stool, puts it round the back of the man with a tapeworm,

pops a little Mars bar on the stool. One of those little boys, you know, from the little Christmas time, or is he causing his birthday? Pops the Mars bar right there by the man's entrance, tapeworm comes out, takes off the rapids, the Mars bar back and it goes. Next day, Jesus goes back, puts the stool there. Takes out a Mars bar from one of those selection boxes. Pops it on the stool. Teapworm comes out, takes off the wrap, eats the Mars bar back in, he goes.

Third day. Jesus loved doing things on the third day. LAUGHTER Goes back into town, takes the stool, puts it in the back entrance, pops in, what? A little pops in. Pops, pops on the stool, a little tiny Mars bar from a box of celebrations.

Tapeworm comes out, looks at it and says, hey, this Mars bar is getting shorter. Jesus hits it on the head, pulls the tapeworm out, and the man's killed. That's the way my mom used to tell it. You can't have too much of a good thing. The defense rests, you're on your card. APPLAUSE Now, obviously, I can't make the decision myself. Judge not, Leshy be Judge. I think the words of Dr. Jesus God himself.

So... So instead, I'm calling upon our live Phoenix audience to make the cause. If you think Jen and Ben and therefore Georgia is in the right, I don't use a applaud now. Oh my goodness. Oh Danny Boy, you're late tonight Danny Boy, you're late tonight. The semi's back. But if you think Will and Fang Shaw and therefore Dan have the best case, please applaud now! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I'm free boys!

This is OJ all over. LAUGHTER He's orange juice on your list of nose. Georgia, how do you feel about the results? I know where I'm going, I'm fine. Not sure where Dan's going. KFC mate. The Colonel's spoken. Right, thank you. Thank you very much to a Georgia and Down, huge round of applause to Georgia and Down there. But it is time to put pedal to the metal and help head versus the rope of a quick fire round jingle.

CHEERING APPLAUSE This is the qu quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's always quite amusing that it has a long introduction It has a long introduction when it should go really quick Something that should be quick but really lasts a long time It's like this jingle belongs in the films of Christopher Nolan

The time bending Christopher Nolan The most overrated director in the world If this was a ghost in Christopher Nolan's film Interstellar It would start but They've been waiting so long for years And then everyone listening to it would be really old. Spoiler alert.

And then Matthew McConaughey would turn into a child and meet his daughter, who's his nan. Or if it was in the Christopher Nolan Phil tenet, This jingle would start forwards, But then go backwards in a really shit ways, Which would mean it start... Yeah, but the up... The up...

Stole... The up... The up... Start sounding like that. People would all shit their pants. Oh, yep, it's number one. And say that it's a work of genius. Instead of being overblown shite.

Well, anyway, you get the gist this jingle is like a Christopher Nolan film. It plays with the idea of time and space. The only difference is this jingle is actually quite good we're better than Nolan unlike the work of Christopher Nolan except for the prestige Anywhere it's time to get on with Jouh, Jouh, Jouh, Jouh, Jouh, Jouh Yes indeed, this is the Quick Fire round and as our show is all about pens, this round is called pen man ship Every answer is a word that's made up of shorter words,

like the word pen man ship. I'll give you two or three questions, the answer of which points strong together will give you the final answer. I will only award points for the final composite word, but you can come in early if you think you know the full word. Instead of buzzers, I'll make the shout out your first names. Ben and Jen, let's hear yours.

Ben. Jen. Tom and Will. Tom. Jen, let's hear yours. Ben! Jen! Tom and Will? Tom. It's Will. Off we go. Scientifically known as H2O. And a type of fruit whose varieties include

honey, Jew and cantaloupe. Will! I think it was just Ben there. Watermelon is correct. The entrance to a house. Tom. Dormace. I'm afraid you're locked out. Just been there. Watermelon is correct. The entrance to a house. Tom, Dormace. I'm afraid you're locked out.

Oh, ideal. And another name for a penis. Donob, direct. Donob. LAUGHTER Another name for a pig. And what you do with a flannel. Tom, Tom., hogwash. It's correct! Oh, you fucker!

Woo! The sound a hotel reception bell makes. Jen. Jen. Ding-batt. He's not correct. Ben. Salrub.

Two points of both teams. The sound a hotel reception bell makes and the fifth letter of the alphabet. Well, dinghy. Dinghy is correct. The sound a hotel reception bell makes and the seventh letter of the alphabet. Well, dinghy. It's correct. Dinghy.

Dinghy. Dinghy. Yeah, it's a bit of a dinghy flat. I'm living. It's got all bed bugs in it. LAUGHTER The sound... The sound the hotel reception bell makes and the 15th letter of the alphabet.

Will... Will. Dinkey. No. Oh, I'm... Sorry, I was doing... He's not allowed the alphabet. It's the Cyrillic alphabet I was doing. Oh, wait, in which He's not allowed to be Alphabets. It's the surrealic I thought I was doing. Oh, which case? Two points of my teeth. Nice.

It was, of course, dingo. A name for a tumble down log cabin. And... A long and distinct period in history. Tom! Tom. Her hips don't lie. Shakira Shakira Shakira Shakira

I was thinking what's a Shakion? Oh I get it. The opposite of then and the first letter of the alphabet. Ben. Now I... Is that a word, Ben? Could be. You're locked out. Ah, you're fucking. And there are 365 of these in a standard year. Oh, will. No, a day is... Correct.

Where you buy stuff in a shop. Didn't know there was going to be a three, ah. Where you buy stuff in a shop. No, there's going to be a three-er. Where you buy stuff in a shop? When? Till death do us part. It's a swing mat, but... It's not what I've got written down here, afraid. Other points, though.

Yeah, of course. Two to each team. Yes. Where you buy stuff in a shop and of course. Two to each team. Yes. Where you're by stuff in a shop and a thing you use to tell time. And Eric Morcom's Double Act partner. Tom, if Till Clockwise is a word, tell us. It's Till to Swinton everywhere. Till the Swin to see answer. No, it's counterclockwise. Counterclockwise is the answer. The opposite, the opposite

of in and the name of Jim Morrison's band. Jen. Jen. No way there's more isn't there. There is, there's going to be more. Well I have to guess. You can No way there's more, isn't there? There is, there's gonna be more. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Well I have to, I have to guess.

You can guess, but there's gonna be more. Okay. So is out doors. Toilet? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The citizens band and... Outdoors brackets the great. It's not what I've got here, you locked out the game. The opposite of in and the name of Jim Morrison's band and another name for a human male. Will and yes, God. I don't think it's till clockwise.

I think it's probably outdoorsman. You locked out the game how that's right and Clark it's on you something you're sailing How dormant ship I'm afraid you didn't shout out your name. LAUGHTER Of course, he gets the points, of course, he gets the points. That is the end of the round. And the end of the game. So before we find out the final score is Jen

and will anything to plug, Jen, where could people find you? On Twitter? Sure. Yeah. Do you want to give us the handle? Yeah. At Jen Ives' comedian? At Jen Ives Comedian. Jen Ives Comedian. Are you doing your show out and about?

No. No. Stop doing comedy fair enough. Will, what about you? I will be in most of your kitchens at about 4am. Also I wish you a lovely happy life together. I've had a very bad bad for my previous statements. Yeah, if I'm on Twitter, at Will Duggan, you can find me on Instagram, at Will, underscore

Doug, because in a state agent, quite before me, you can't find me on TikTok, come 35. Other than that, you know, just around. Just huge surround about, yeah. Yeah, come and say hi and that's a look busy. LAUGHTER Thanks to everyone here for watching. As always, check out our Patreon Patreon.com for his life's papi's flat share. Like, subscribe, rate, and review our podcast.

Or just tweet, recommend the podcast to your friends. So... I'm sorry, I've got one of them. Oh, have you? What, a papi's Patreon. Yeah. All of our money goes to Jen. It's, it's, it's my name, Jen Ives.

You can give me money if you want. Chape Jen if you, Quid, for goodness sake. So producer Emma, let's hear those final scores. Everyone got two. No, errr. So, I got Ben and Jen at 29. Ah. Tom and Will at 42.

Oh my goodness. So Ben and Jen have to find the pen while Tom will have to drive me to A&E, it's actually my every pen I've lost, I've got to submit and I've got to get shot. My face has had a punch so for cushion. Thanks to our guest Jen and I was at World Hovern. We've been Pappies, see you next time on Flash Eskender! That is Flash Eskender, I'll beat you in the back of the clock and then talk to Top Hairs, especially this. We'll talk to them, Gen Ios, lose some eyes while Pappies, they will walk out. Same next to the piece of weight, ever Corsum, and of course, Clint Lee's name is the producer of Ever Corsum.

Big thanks to everyone at the Phoenix, to all the wonderful folks who came here today to watch the show, to you at Home for Listening. Fatty's fresh air stand there as a single new production to A-Cast and the internet. Cheers everyone, bye! Cheers! And here we are seeing you on the other side. We'll never be the same again, any office.

Hello from the other side, and in many ways, goodbye from the other side. Thanks for listening, folks. It was a treat to do the recording. And if you like what we do, and you want to support us, and you want more of what we do, then you can have both of those things by go to patreon.com forward slash, I'm gonna say puppies.

Flatshare? Sounds good. Yeah, puppies, flat share, that's not fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Go to that and not yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah go to that and Pop on board a patron if you're for £4 a month you get a bonus podcast episode every single week every Thursday you get a load of hidden footage and surprise

footage Is it a player which project? You're not letting me into footage. Yeah, you got something hidden in footage. Is it a Blair Witch project, Hannah? She's going on. No. I have to join the Patreon Halloweeders specials. You'll have to join the Patreon to see. Thanks to all the new Patreon subscribers who joined.

Because also as well, what we should say, you get early and discounted tickets to our shows. So loads of people join the Patreon just to get the Christmas tickets. And loads of people join the Patreon a tiny bit too late. So apologies to those people, but I hope you stick around. I hope you enjoy it because it really is a wonderful wonderful, wonderful place to be. Hopefully. Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flatshare. Yeah, and again, like I say, follow us on Twitter, follow us on Instagram. We're updating on what's happening in our world over there.

So if you're looking for when the live stream is going to be available, that will be where it is at. Okay, that was almost the centres, wasn't it? That'll do. Today's episode was produced by McCorsham. Corners and team cheers everyone. Bye! you follow the caution. Cores, I'm a team. Cores, I'm a team. Cheers everyone. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Oh, hello everybody and welcome today. It's the Patreon neighborhood watcher, O'Cole. O'Cole, I say. Be upstanding. Be sitting. But never be quitting. It's a preferable neighborhood watcher. upstanding be sitting but never be quitting it from preferred neighborhood roll call for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for Who's friend? Where do we need blood? It's gonna be a sad sometimes, isn't it?

Oh, you're cheating up, he said as he went and we'd all danced all night until we were spent. Oh! He was one of the beatmen who, he just hopped overboards before he hit the iceberg. He was one of the first to drown. He was friend. He was like, I don't know, look at the iceberg. Didn't he? He was one of the first to drown. He was friends. He was like, I don't know. Look at that iceberg. He did it the way.

He did it the way. Yes, sadly he was supposed to be searing the boat. Anyway, anyway. Oh, it's Fred. Disappeared. Another water he screamed. I like most what I need. But it was willing in children first and so unhops Jessica's speed. Oh, ma-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na--buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- the water with thrills, he lived with lots of fish including a clubbed, a very rare type of fish

discovered by my friend Dan Givert. If you make it a clubbed, if you make it a clubbed, then you know what I would have believed, no would have believed a Givert. Oh, swimming around under the ocean, he met the little mermaid. He also met Ursula and said, I am afraid. He's a scary witch type person and she's not supposed to, and I don't want to get covered in her ink that wouldn't do. So what I'll do is I'll be a friend, do all the creatures under the sea, and I will have a lovely time, and they'll say cheers to me

Yes, my name is Fred Winneberg, I don't know if you know But I fell into the water and I grew some gills, whoa, oh No, no Let me tell you now If I may and if I might, I also befriended another undersea creature His name is Oliver Knight. I've been under the ocean now for quite many years. It's always been one of my biggest fears.

Now I'm suddenly reduced to nothing but bones, or sad tail it is of Laurence Jones. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- Here comes the baker who lives at the mill. Will you buy some fish balls and give him to Alison Gill? Yes, I will. Yes, he will. Fish bones for everyone. Ho's are! Titanic's feed safe! Well, that concludes today's picture. Titanic's been saved! Well that concludes today's picture and neighbourhood watch Roll Goal!