Pappy's Flatshare - Turkey Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Heidi Regan S11E50

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

The festive Turkey Brothers are here to sort out your festive turkey beefs with special guest Heidi ReganHeidi Regan - https://twitter.com/heidi_reganPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain-alice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders know, but chicken tenders yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now.

For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Greetings listener dear. I'm Santa Tom. And I am Santa's little Elfen Helper Matthew. There's no Clarky in the intro but there is Clarky in our hearts and Clarky in the episode because this is a wonderful episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts and

it's an exciting four-slush turkey. Well this is it, it's the cold turkey episode. We recorded this live. Drummer back when you're able to do things live. You remember that when you're able to do things live. You remember that two week period? I mean, what we've worked at is whenever we book a live recording, it brings in, it ushers in, a brave new era of Covid.

So I think we've got, we are the Harbingers. They haven't mentioned us yet in the briefings, but there is definitely a pattern emerging that when we wanna get a big room of people together, we bring in a brave new variant, so maybe we should put a lid on it for a little bit. Yeah, sorry everybody. It's, you know, we're certainly to share the blame, if not the entirety of the blame is to be laying on our doorstep.

But yeah, so look, we gotta do what we do, man. Try to tell us to stop. It's like cutting off a limb, do you know what I mean? Yeah, and that's what we had to do. You can't expect us not to pull. Clarke has been amputated. You're taking Clarke for the intro. No, I don't know what Clarke is

up to at the moment. I think is usual antics. No, we don't. We don't off with people in looking at handrails. It is the thing that's mysterious, but we arrange to record this. It's like one o'clock in the afternoon on a week's day. It's the Monday before this comes out. It's Monday. It's where we go. I'm on my lunch break. Talks on his lunch break. We thought Clar. Talks on his lunch break. We thought Clark would be on his lunch break as well. We're record together. We set this up last week.

But also, Clarkies, Clarkies' week is his lunch break. So we all arranged to do it. And then like something like 20 to one on a Saturday night, we got a text from Clarkies saying, oh guys, I can't do it. It's just like, it's like, why is it coming at this time? It was, well, I'd been out with Clarky. I've been out, we've been out to the theater.

Again, we're just grabbing the tiny fraction of a second that we're able to do stuff. Clark and I got to see back to the future too. So back to the future too, back to the future of the musical. And, but then after that, it was fantastic, really, really worth going, if you can go, I really recommend it. But after spending the evening with me,

normally the text messages that fly around are like, had a great time, got to do it again. Here's a photo of us in the bar, all I got was a message from Clarky, that also C.C.Ded in you and producer Emma, saying, I can't do this. I quit the show. Even though most of it was sitting two seats along from him in silence while other people

sang at us, I can't spend any more time at crossby. Even over a zoom, I can't do this. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. It turns out that's what it was. Great scut! Don't put me in a room with that man again! I think Clarke sees that as a, you know, if he could go back in time, I think meeting you and I

would be the first thing he'd try and avoid. Well, I heard, I heard, you ran out of that theatre bar, popped on his skateboard, held onto the back of the nearest passing car. We haven't seen him since. When I woke up the next morning, I got to 88 miles an hour, I was wearing a green traxe and buffing Clarkies' car and I didn't know what had happened to me. Well we hope you're enjoying all of these festive back-to-feature references. But yeah, so this was an episode recorded at the Pleasants.

We recorded two episodes back-to-back, a beef-brother's cold turkey and a papi's flat-shear slam down. Slam down's out next week. You're listening to the cold turkey today and we had a wonderful, wonderful guest, Heidi Regan. She was just so funny. Oh, so great. And totally, yeah, just totally got it.

She was brilliant. And you'll get, well, you know what, you're going to find out. Just one quick reminder that the Patreon continues a pace, weekly bonus episodes are going out. They're tons of fun. And we hope we want to join the Patreon because we have such a good time making the content.

We love as many people to hear it as possible. So patreon.com, 4 slash, Pappy's Fatshare. Tom, your thoughts. It's true. That's it, didn't I? Well, it was such a beautiful, full stop and I was going, that's good enough to go straight into the epa thing. In that time, dead air. Yeah. That's exactly what I was going, that's good enough to go straight into the epa thing. In that time, dead air.

Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking. Well, I tell you what, I'll do the Patreon address again and then we'll go straight into the epa, okay? Because it can't be overstated. Because it was good, man. It worked. It was really good.

Join the Patreon.com forward slash, Papy's Flat Share. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm share. Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem, because you've got a problem calling a bee. If you've got a bee, maybe we can help you from the sorting at your bees. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to you the stage. You're very own elves off the shelf.

It's Pappy! Wow, hello everyone. It's just so exciting. It's so, I mean, it's like Ronnie Scott's in it. It never felt cooler. It's like a baby. It's like I've never been to Ronnie Scott's. I don't know. Okay, baby.

Okay, you can have that in. Imagine if that's what jazz was. Right, it's just a guy going. I think I was like a baby. I quite find some of my chances at jazz. Yeah? Well, I could bring a certain june second. Well, OK. The thing about jazz is, it's people who have learnt the rules

and have learnt them so well, they're breaking them. But you don't know any of the rules. No. So that might be the thing that holds, that's what will give me the edge. No, the edge is not a jazz musician So welcome to the show everybody here's how it's gonna work This is one of the way it's such I mean, I was a hurry. This is such a nice setup. Who's been to one of these Christmas shows before?

Yeah, and I like this this venue used to be quite a sort of miserable venue and now Really This venue is to be quite a sort of miserable venue, and now it is to be... Whoa! Hang on! Really flattered! He's the right-assassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassassass off the seat. Something we can sell out venues? Yeah. Don't just ignore the many empty items. They're here in spirit. First you Omnichron. Omnichron Day of Christmas. It's a vague assonance, isn't it? It's got a vague assonance, mate.

It's got a vague assonance, mate. Thanks to both the people who filled out the V-brothers' rules. LAUGHTER Wow. The problem is, with never having gained any new listeners over 11 years. Everybody sent one everyone to their beef. Basically, everyone here has been here from the start. There's no new fans. We plateaued, but you know, in a nice place.

Yeah, we admired the view from halfway up the hill and thought, let's just stay here. I mean, that is, to say we're halfway up the hill. That's a real talk. Well, it's a conceptual hit. It's a compliment, I'd say. We've gone over the hill, halfway down the other side. I say you play the hill twice, and you're correct. So, I don't know if you saw on Twitter, we were struggling before the show.

Oh, we're doing all right. Yeah. Not well. Was that very follow as show. Whoa, we're doing all right. Yeah. Not well. What's that, but he followers that? No, no, no, no. We were struggling before the show because we always drink Avocado, the famous Christmas drink, warning's Advocar during the show.

And I went to three of the nearby supermarkets. None of them had it. And I was in. Tesco, Sainsbury's, Morrison's. Nissa. I was in the one of the big dogs. Nissa is delighted to end up in the big three this. Nissa's really happy. Nissa's had a in the, one of the big dogs. Nissa's delighted to end up in the big three there. Nissa's really happy.

Nissa's had a great year actually. It's been a really good pando for Nissa. I was in the Nissa and, um, I, I, I was in the Nissa. Put a memory. Put a memory of me being in the Nissa. It is like jazz, I feel it really is. I feel it and it don't come in on lads. I feel it and it goes.

Okay, all red, baby. So I was in the nissa and I said to them, do you have any advocate? And they said, what's that? And I realised, I don't know how to get. So I started with, it's a yellow egg-based booze. And she said, yellow eggs. And I said, yellow eggs. And I said, no, it's like a book.

It was pointing to chocolate stuff. It's like eggs. Is that sort of, you're like sort of, that's the big, big early freeze, yeah. Big early freeze, yeah. But I was like, no, it's like yellow, yellow, like egg-based, but it's like thick. It's like thick like custardy booze.

Like it smells like petrol. It's like,, like custardy, booze, like it smells like petrol, it's booze, it costs like 14 quid and it's all awful. inexplicably it costs 40 quid. And I want to buy it. And in the end I just had to walk out the shop. It was really embarrassing. But then I got into the little one over the road, the little news agency over the road. And they said we've got some in cans.

And they've got some pre-mixed snowball here. Yeah. And so I bought two of those, had a lovely chat with the guy, he couldn't believe he'd sold two of them. And then I was in the dressing room and I got a text saying we haven't got any advocate. So I ran across the road into the same off-license and said, have you got any advocate? And he went, I've just sold the last two cups. And I thought, crossbees be here. That port news, I just get a bite like we need loads of advocate. It's so massive rush on nowadays. I went to the bottom of the road and I said,

have you got any advocate? And he went, what's advocate? And I pointed to this yellow stuff. I said, can I have all your advocate? It was two bottles. And as he was putting in the bag, he said, do you drink this every day? LAUGHTER

No. And I said, no, I was calling the police. And I said, no, only at Christmas. And he said, will you want more tomorrow? And I said, no, he went, I can get you something for tomorrow. He suddenly thought, this is the hot thing now. This is like an NFT-T's or something? It's this time.

Jazz, baby. What? An F-T's. It's like a egg-based smell like petrol. It's a meat-suffungable token. You can buy things in meat-suff. OK, I'm getting the ball. Right, so should we crack on with the meat-suffer?

Yes, why not? So the way this is going to work is we're going to read out some of the problems that at least one of you has written Your only problem. Yeah, I mean it's great. You know congratulations. Now if you've got any problems And we get with some that people have sent in to to the email and we're going to do that with art with our guest Tom would you like to do the introduction please ladies and gentlemen. she's all the way over there. Please welcome Heidi Regan! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Heidi. Oh. Thank you.

How are you doing? I'm very good, thank you. Thanks so much for doing this, by the way. I've got to ask the first question. Have you ever had ad for car before? I haven't. I keep zoning out when you explain what is. Yeah.

Everyone does. It's eggnog, right? Is that what you said to me or? I know you just said it all there, but I was done. Yeah, but I'm very up for it. I was saying I've been drinking since 10 AM. What? That's the spirit.

I'm sober right now, but I feel like I'm ready to go back in the zone. Right. Not because I have a problem. I have my old flatmate, which isn't thinking of the show. Oh, they could. So you were getting the character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have a flatmate.

You have a problem. I was a, yeah. I call my drinking problem my flatmate. And he got a civil partner to not married wet. Oh, yeah, you have a civil servant. Amazing. At 9, 15 AM at the town hall, and I was the witness, and then he made me drink Prosecco from then on.

After I'd witness. Sorry. So that I would forget everything I saw. So you're not drunk. I'm not drunk. In the way that everyone who's just been at a wedding doesn't think they're drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you get into the taxi and start having a chat with the taxi driver and you're like, oh, I'm hammered. Yeah, yeah. Well, you walk on stage at a podcast. I'm like, I'm a drinker, it's terrible. Oh, no. But don't worry, honey, there's an old saying, beer then wine, you'll feel fine.

Prosecco, then advocate, holy shit. Yeah. LAUGHTER It's currently... Twice now, I've been on the trains of London, and I've asked for a glass of wine. Glass of wine feels proper for a three-hour train journey. And twice now, they've said, we've only got Prosecco.

And drinking Prosecco on your own on a three-hour train journey feels very different. Yeah. Great, though. LAUGHTER journey feels very different. Yeah, great though. It feels lovely. Yeah. Yeah. Right, do you want to try a bit of avocado? Do you want to have a little set?

Do you want to try a bit of avocado? Do you want to have a little set? You're your first response? This feels like it could be on YouTube. Comments you. You are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old.

Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100 years old. Comments you are 100's old. Commedia taste techno for the first time. Tom, I'm gonna blow your mind here. You can put anything on YouTube. Like it's public domain, you just go on it. You just put stuff on it. They don't commission it, right?

I've been waiting for that call for years. Yeah, no, you're not getting it. You're not getting it. On that YouTube ring? Which you put this on vine. Is this like a shot or is it? It's kind of like a long, horrible drink. I'm gonna have like a long horrible drink

I'm gonna have like a sip yeah, it's a marathon not a sprint You can't sip it. It's more have a bite of it. It's quite chewy Did you just lick the bottle? Yes, I did Anyway, yeah, if anyone is in from YouTube, we'd happily take Vimeo at this stage. If anyone's in from BitShoots, they're the alright one. We're also willing to, you know, what kind of the mark, darling, root, we don't care.

It's nice. So, go on, what's your verdict? I think it's nice, I've got real sweet tooth, and I'm drunk. You're definitely having it. You're definitely having it's night, I've got real sweet tooth and I'm drunk. Your dick. You're definitely hammers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's up in the wedding ways drinking a gnawing.

I've met friends with all the other guests. I'm not sure you went to sing the wedding. We'll make that wedding legal. No. You were in when you went to sing? I was also trying to make a conversation because I thought that they had to prove they're a real couple. And so I was being really chatty going,

because one of them's Australian ones, so I was like a visa as well. And I was like, well, they're probably suspicious. So I'll make lots of jokes. And after a while, I was like, I think I'm making them suspicious. I'll be quiet. Can I ask, what time was the wedding? Did you start drinking prior to the wedding?

Not prior. I thought the wedding was like 3pm and you're like, what about it? I started drinking at 9.15. It was at 9.15am and I think it took about half an hour and then they made a strict preseco out the front. Out the front, right? Where were you? Islington Town Hall.

Oh, nice, nice. I thought it was a weather spoon or something. You're like, he needs this at least. Right. Where are you? Islington Town Hall. Oh nice, nice. I thought it was a weather spoons or something. He needs this album. Right, should we crack up? Hi, Dave, we should talk about you. We know your flatmates just got, got, got civilly partnered.

Yep. What kind of a flatmate are you two to live with? Well, that is my old flatmate because my, I now, after many years of many flat shares, I'm now in living with my girlfriend. That's the shares, I'm now living with my girlfriend. That's the first time I've lived just with a partner. All congratulations. So I'm like a really hands-y flatmate.

No, no, no. But I always have been. So. And sometimes they ask me to do weddings. Sometimes we get engaged. It just doesn't even have a go. I've got love. But yeah, no, I'm a great flatmate. I don't know what you've heard.

No, I've been doing well. Yeah, I love flat shares. I like, I'm the my favourite thing in the world. I used to, I've never said it out loud, but now I'm going to say it, and then I'll be what I use it. Okay, so we're so excited. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, here we go. I've always said, it's my...

I've always said, I've never said it. I've never said it, but now I'm always going to say it. You're the world's first here, guys. This could be on fucking YouTube, all right? I'm a shocking holly. This is a lot like jazz. Just going with the flow. I'm going to leave you. I'm going to mine a key, and you're all about to always say this.

But I've always thought, and now I've always said, that remember when you were like a kid and you had a sleepover, and then in the morning, you'd all be hanging out in the morning watching a movie or saying, and you'd be really excited if your parents were late to get you because you got to keep hanging out. I've always felt like, flat chairs are like, your parents forgot to come get you because you got to keep hanging out. I've always felt like flat shares are like your parents forgot to come get you and you're just hanging. It's beautiful,

don't you? Wouldn't you like to always say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's like you're an orphan? Yeah, yeah, like you've been abandoned, but you've had to make a new family and maybe their parents will feed you that It doesn't the allegory doesn't stand up to no, I love that we're all gonna say I'm gonna be saying it constantly Yeah, yeah, you've always said it. Yeah, that's all say after three So who are we going to start with? Clarky, let's start with the beef that was sent in to you. Before you get to drunk. Yeah, it's on its way.

Tree decoration from Dan via beef brothers at podcastatgmail.com. Get in touch. My girlfriend of several years, Louisa, is wonderful in a lot of ways. But you can really tell where this is going to go. Oh, he's a Stan. Steady on, boy. But you send that to yourself. Any time clock has to read aloud. Steady on this man. Look at the puncture he should. But we just can't decide on how to decorate. The Christmas tree, she likes things very traditional, with a proper colour scheme and tasteful decorations, whereas I think they just said to look there,

like this is a beef that you guys have done. Do you know what, so do these guys as well. So, yeah, this is... Fill in the fucking forms! Dan, Dan, it's creeping into your fucking cells! We've got nothing up here! Fucking hell! Unless, like, this is like a Dan and a Louise

are sat next to each other, who've got the same beef and Dan's just going, yeah, it's pretty just somebody else coincident, it's really... I didn't realize I'd read it out. Louise are sat next to each other who've got the same beef and down just going yes pretty just somebody else coincidences really Didn't read us a read it out Right yes Whereas I think a Christmas tree should be fun and would much rather have my decorations Which include dinosaur lights, baubles shaped like gurgings and sushi. Are you sure they're baubles? like Gurgens and sushi. Are you sure they're baubles? A more figurine and an otter hand puppet with a mistletoe headband at the top instead of an angel or

star. He's mentally ill. He's a nut job in me. Why are we reading this out? Don't encourage him. he's a local character. How do I convince that my way is right? You can't down, it is. He's sold. Heidi, what do you like Christmas decoration style? What do you prefer? When you said to me in the dressing room, oh, if you have any flat issues that a Christmas road,

I was gonna say this exactly. Oh, really? That's still bringing forward. That's the end. Let's do it in the chat. Now reading the room, I'm ashamed to say. Which Dan, I identify with. Yeah, my girlfriend, she likes things to look nice and clean and tidy.

And I'm a free spirit. It's adorable. And I'm lazy. But she's just decorated the tree and she did a very tasteful, very well symmetrical or whatever lights. And then I felt passive. I was like, what about some tinsel? Christmas tree is probably like, no, I have tinsel and she said, we could have tinsel but has to be

very thin and tasteful. It can't be fat and look too unclassy and I was like, but that's... It's got to be chunky isn't it? It's a Christmas tree, it's got to be chunky and maybe have a full tinsel? I've got a podcast to play my girlfriend. LAUGHTER It's who knows what comes up. The thing is though, when you think of Christmas, the words you don't think of are thin and tasteful. Yeah.

That's not what I'm talking about. You think fat and tasty, don't you? Yeah. That's what you want it to be. Have you ever had a spotlight CV? LAUGHTER Fat and tasty, yeah. Yeah, that's what you want it to be. You want to see me? Have you read my spotlight CV? LAUGHTER Fat tasty, Jack. You look a bit like Sadja Javid at the moment, mate.

Thank you. Thank you. You've got something of the old Sadja. Do you want to buy some cocaine? I did buy some a year ago and I think I'm off the hook. So, yeah, so are you as far as kooky? Because like, it's all, fact insolies and not playing a bad guy. I've all said it guys, fact insolies and not playing a banjo.

If anyone's just dropped acid, this is all going to make a lot of sense, you know. Fattins lose an auto-player banjo. I would definitely if I had those options, I would be pushing for my only decoration, the flap that came with me, two Ninja Turtles themed pillows that go on out, couch, and a shark head that's on the wall.

Two Ninja Turtles. So which two? Michael Angelo and Donatello. Fair. Best two, I'd say. Not Leo. Yeah. Leo's a... That's not amateur hour.

Raffael can get fucked. I've always said... Well, the cartoon one or the... Okay, he's cool but crude. LAUGHTER I don't think he've thought that's true. Yeah, but I can also understand why she... Like, I basically say, I would go this route, but you work more at making our house acceptable to the world.

And it makes you sad, whereas I could be happier or level, and I'm not going to be sad with what you got. So let's go with a little lady what I've got to ask and how does that go over in the house? I try to say less patronizing when I do it I'm like, oh that's going with a lady once, yeah I've now decided I won't be playing this podcast But let's see if it goes back up, well done! This was the first 10 minutes of a podcast.

What about this as a solution? Two trees. I was going to say two trees. You've got to have room for two trees. But I think what you do is you have the major tree, which is the tasteful tree, the way you have the major tree. The cuckoo, yeah. You have like the tasteful tree The way you have the nature The... Cooke yet You know, like the small kitchen tree In the toilet In the window Or like in the back window

Or in someone else's house Yeah, in the back of the garden But like, that's where you get to go free reign I can see it immediately leading to Whoever is more passive aggressive I don't know who would be out of us having guests around and going, oh what do you think of that tree? And what do you think of the fun toilet tree? I love toilet trees. Yeah, yeah.

That's my most of my family in the Vagris. Yeah, what's on top of the tree? Yeah, I mean, that's the, I presume it's the, it's the glove puppet, isn't it? It's going to be the glove puppet on top of the tree, the outer glove puppet with the mistletoe. It's a very confusing fact. Come on. Just, just get a star. I'm, I'm, I'm sent in total.

Oh. Is that your name? Wow. You're not, mate. It's my past, mate. Is this the new culture, what? Oh, wow. You're not making it. It's my cat's man. Is this the new culture war? I'm tin-tunsel. That's my new Twitter bio.

Yeah. So your taste for Clarky? Well, what you can tell, you do have the sort of like, you know, there's something about this sort of avuncular, you know, bin crossby Christmas figure. You've got the car you're gonna be wore black, Pumas, train. We don't know what's going on behind that piano

when you're singing with David Bowie. He needs something comfortable with an old bloke. So I think, I think, Clarky, I can see you going down these sort of more traditional Christmasy roots. But, apparently white, not coloured. What? You're... It's a culture war, then.

I did sound very bad, but it came. Oh, God. We won't be saying that one all the time. You lost get over it! What? I'm going to move things on if that's okay. Please do. We're all of our sakes, hey, booze. So, so, so, Perry, what about in your household? How mal, I think I think I'm married Christmas.

Is everyone bring something to the play? Yeah, yeah, love it. That's the essence of Christmas. We're all in it, everyone's there. Chaos reigns, Chaos looks good. Yeah. So I think you can have your tasteful tree, but also I can do this to that wall.

What? I don't know. I've got a name. I've got a name. I've got a name. I've got a name. What did you throw at the wall? I've got eventually some of it sticks.

On the third day of Christmas, I had a dirty protest. I think that's kind of what you want. I'm a third of Christmas I had a dirty protest. I think that's what you want, isn't it? You want like... No, no, no, we don't know what you want. The man with the beard is Santa Claus, not Bobby Sands. The essence of Christmas for me is every Christmas. When everyone's open their presence and you can't see the floor for wrapping paper. Yeah every year my Christmas tradition with my family's I do a Christmas jig in the mess

And they so once it's all unwrapped and I ask is this something that the whole family for green on and just fucking do it anyway Everyone goes everyone goes Christmas jig Christmas jig. Oh do they and then I get up and it's like a very distinct Well, don't don't do it now because we're gonna end the show with a Why do you like a distinctive jig It's got like a distinctive It's like a negative gym. It's like scatters into the wrapping paper. It's like the wrapping paper, it's like the wrapping paper, all around the room and everyone's like,

hey, and it's like, that, that's what. And then like, come 12 o'clock, my dad gets up and puts it all in and that's when he kind of goes, what he does, he gets all of the wrapping paper and he just covers over your past out body on the floor. He jigs too hard. It was too distinctive a jig this year. He died as he jigs.

Distinctively. Distinctly. So anyway, but like that, that mess, the chaos, that's what Chris was should be. Yeah. It shouldn't be like pristine. Wasn't Jesus born in a stable? Surrounded by hate.

Did the shepherds do a distinctive jig? Wasn't Jesus born in a stable? Surrounded by hate. Did the shepherds do a distinctive cheer? Anywho. I think mess and chaos should be part of the energy of Christ. So if you're siding with Dan, how is Dan convincing Louisa that this is the right way to do things? Oh, I've got it. Yeah, here we go. The hand puppet ought to visit her at night.

Oh! Right? So she has a Christmas visitation. Whoa. To his eye with a Christmas otter. Embrace the chaos, I say. And have fun with life. And then next morning, back to the future, basically, you back to the future. Oh, is this not a Christmas Carol? Look at her, look at her, look at her. Oh, how is this not a Christmas Carol? LAUGHTER I can only go with no more you. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah. He has it all the way to the three times.

You can just do it once. So it's the once. Hey, a bit of man, Helen, you're off. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Christmas Carol, your Christmas Carol, she's the Scrooge. It's the author of Christmas Past. Then you're off, you know? I think we're gonna call that beef solved. From the sorting I can be!

It's solved! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's the-stop bunkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things.

It's like theaters for December 15th. This is from Pablo, via BBrothersPodcast.com, Get in touch. Pablo writes, Hello to you three lovely lads and your festive guests. I have a festive beef with my mother-in-law's enforced gifting process. Every year we sit in a circle and each person has to open

a gift each, one after the other, in order of the person gifting. Fuck me. Yeah. Well, this is, this is inside, I couldn't believe it when I read this. EG, I open a gift from Uncle Jim, then the next person opens theirs from Uncle Jim and so on until all of Uncle Jim's gifts have been opened. No. Now that is putting Uncle Jim really under the microscope, isn't it? Christ, you know who Uncle Jim's gifts have been opened. No. Now that is put in Uncle Jim, really under the microscope, isn't it? Christ, you know who Uncle Jim likes, basically. Yeah. You know what Uncle Jim likes?

Dirty Uncle Jim. LAUGHTER The process is repeated for each person who is gift in present, and each present is noted down by my mother-in-law for later, for thank you cards, etc. What an insane system! Right, pick up the kicker! That's the thing you really got here!

Does anybody else do that? Yeah, you're right. You're marked out of it, right? It's not a bad system. We write that, write it down. I mean, I don't know if you have to do it for the whole family but certainly for yourself to know what's for thank you. We do it like a buddy system, where an adult gets a kid,

and then when the kid's opening, I can't trust it. Oh, wow! The kid is a member of the power household already. Yeah. This is not some sort of weird Hillary Clinton type thing going on here. They're not dreaming about them. Oh, good gym out of your mind.

Good gym. Say, we don't give a kid to Uncle Jim. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, you're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man.

You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man.

You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man. You're not doing it, man what's that who's it from write it down write it down write it down. I've got a chicken as you go Read this That make distinctive at the same time I eat my own PA because I'm jigging

System I've got a system which is I and I know not as good, but it's quicker and it gets it done. Here's what you do. As soon as you unwrap the present, you take a photo of yourself with the present text to the person say, thanks very much. That's what I do. That's good to be fair. That is good to be fair. Especially if you can get one of the kids in the photo as well, because they love a photo of the kids. So just get one of the various kids that he sold me. LAUGHTER Come and sit down for a shot. LAUGHTER

Ignore the gap, thank you very much, Fowler and Bennett's latest books. But anyway, let's crack it with this. So, yes, here we go. Now I have to add to the ex-factor, booze. My mother-in-law likes a drink, as do the rest of the family, as do I. However, she gets very drunk very quickly, so by the second round of presence, there's moments of who's this from?

Have we opened a good gym's presence yet? Yes. Guessing you have already. Or nobody move, or open anything until I get another bottle of wine, et cetera. Even this used to be quite comical as well as we'd all be quite tipsy and it's Christmas, so why not? But over the past few years, an added X factor

of me and my partner having children has now made this almost unbearable. We still have to stick to the present process, but now with young, impatient children in the mix, it's hellish. It takes all day with the added bonus of tears and tantrums. And the kids don't pay very well either Now it's all over the big thank you Pablo

The rest of the finally a proper joke on this The rest of the family and me are a bit scared of her So it's just continued like this for years without comment I really feel like I might have to address the issue this year But don't want to ruin Christmas and or make an old lady cry. Am I being out of order? Should I keep my mouth shut? Or do I stand my ground and speak up? Thanks for your time. Hang on a sec. Best regards, back like that. Thanks for your time and for your deliberations, Pablo. There we go. I just wanted to know if he said thanks for your time and for your deliberations, Pablo. There we go. I just wanted to know if he said thanks for your time.

He said thanks for your time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries, no worries. And your deliberations as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you going to say? What's your system? I confuse us what the actual dilemma is.

Is he just wants to say, this is shit, or is it? I think the process they've got of everybody waiting till all of Uncle Jim's presence are opened is a bit tough for the kids to deal with So they basically want it wants to speed things along or change the system basically And he doesn't want the mother to be you know working I got it anyone else got it Are you talking about home a cron because What a type of teller sagittity oh sorry?

because what a time to tell a sadger. Oh sorry I should have said. This is a three year process right? Yeah. The first year you say look we can't keep going in turn just for speed we all open Uncle Jim's at the same time. Yes. Right? So it's Uncle Jim's round everyone opens at the same time. That's year one. Year two you say... I'm sorry. I'm not going to see you this year. Yeah. Three. Can I ask a question for you before you get to Year two and three?

Yeah. What is the mother-in-law with her notebook and pen doing at this stage? Buddy system. Your buddy system it. Okay, so you've got... I've got you, you've got me. Okay. We're one big family. It's Christmas, but I'm with us.

You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. You reach the sun. Then, second year, you go, well look, let's just whip it round, let's keep going, you speed up faster.

So you go, yes, I've done Uncle Jim's, but I've also done Clives and now I'm on Diane's. Very old-fashioned family. I love their names, though. Then year three, it's Palmeau. Jiggin, happy. What's Palmeau? What is Palmeau? He said about 14 times.

I thought it was the same as Palmeau. What's Palmeau? What's Palmeau? What's pal mel? Come on guys. No, just just chaos anything goes That jazz is pal mel I sometimes say in Roddy Scots. Yeah, I Wish Anyway, but don't you think she's gonna be upset? I think think the first. I think the problem is with the mother-in-law, you're boxing her out of the system. And to suddenly go like, it doesn't matter if it takes three years, the first year you're saying your job out the question,

everyone's doing a body system. And I think that's what he's worried about. You've got this crazed alcoholic woman who is going to be rampaging all over the place with big red wine lips. OK, I've got it. Anyone else got it? Yeah.

I've got it. I've got it? Yeah. I've got it. I've got a new catchphrase. You don't have it, mate. No, no. Okay, you use your ninja tool in this is... Uh, throwing stuff. No. Right.

Take her out. Grandparent. She's a grandparent now. Right. The kids are involved. So you send in your grandkids and you say, look, when we go to open Uncle Jim's presence, you start opening loads of other presents.

Now, drunk though she may be, she is not going to take it out on the grandkids. Grandparents just don't. If she does, that's a very sad Christmas for the kids. If she turns on the kids, you're like, I thought she wouldn't. I'm so sorry, kids the kids. If she turns on the kids, you're like, I thought she wouldn't, I'm so sorry kids. And then when she turns on the kids, you don't have to spend another Christmas with her.

Say, not after what happened last year. You drunk horrible woman. Yeah, if she doesn't turn on the kids, they've broke the system. It's a new dawn, it's a new day. It's a new day. It's... And I'm I agree with Tom's method. If you want to keep that level, that's the way to do it. I think an alternate is you say, look at capitalism

and all this consumerism. How are they spending all day opening presence? Everyone gets one present each. And then you're like, that's your option lady. Either we open them all at once, or you stop buying all this plastic. And she's like, right. So you show her a picture of my girlfriend.

The outside would make everyone. You show her a picture of her dying porpoise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the kids show the kids. Show the kids as well. With like a pepper pig toy stuck in its blowhole. Yeah. And look at what we're doing to the planet.

We're killing it. We're killing it with shit. Anyway, I know you're only three, stop crying. Go and see what we did. Okay, so that's a... Clarke, do you have any alternative to that system? I gotta say, again, I'm being an absolute square. I don't think she's that wrong.

I think you have one lot of time with presence. You can't take that cardigan off, man. I can do it, shit to you. That cardigan is connected to his spine. It runs straight up to his brain. If you take it off, you just deflate it. I can alien cardigan, take it off the clocky, and turn it into a 70 year old.

Look man, I think you know you want the presence to last a day, I think it's mad when people just open the morning one go. I got, I got, I got, okay, people are turning. We went all my life, We always opened them first in the morning and to the point where my mom will wake up before and she'll be like, we're very start opening that. And then having Chris and my girlfriend's parents, I was very thrown by the fact that we woke up. I was like, presence.

And they were like, throughout the day, occasionally, a gift will be put on your lap. You'll never know when. And I was like, what? Support. Support. Yeah, just me. But then the next Christmas, I in the morning, I went to my girlfriend. I was like, what? Support me. It was just like, yeah, took me by, and then the next Christmas, I, in the morning, I went to my girlfriend,

I've got your presence. Can we please do this, the Christian way? LAUGHTER As Jesus says. LAUGHTER So we did our presence straight away, and then we were like, we've already done else. Give a seal so when you watch.

I think that's, you know what? It's lovely. It's good, isn't it? Because I know obviously the anticipation is great, but anticipation could quickly turn into boredom and frustration and you go, look, I know they're going to be shit anyway. So let's just open them up, throw them in the fucking bin

and just go into my room and drink. Throw them in the car, this is so hard. I'm sorry, if we're staggering present opening, That's a little old. You're a fool, the man. And so, if we're staggering present opening, when am I jigging? Good points. I can't do a midnight jig. Well, you can't. I think we're gonna have to stick around. So, what are we saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Be salt. You brought a salt and make a beast? Yeah. Yeah. Be so. You brought us on and got your bees. Be so. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Yeah, baby.

Do you want to do yours, Perry? It's yours from Carl. Yes. New traditions from Carl, by a beef brothers podcast, at gmail.com, can you touch? Yeah, didn't touch. Hello, how'd you feel about introducing new traditions at Christmas?

By now, most of us have the 24th to the 26th solved. Yes, sometimes the traditions vary mildly by which set of relatives you're with, but we're all picking from a limited palette. Or so I thought. A few years ago with a previous the ritual of clapping the turkey. LAUGHTER I were talking. No, we're in. LAUGHTER That's live and you're a buzzer, isn't it? Cabaret seating, be damned!

LAUGHTER This is jazz, man. This is jazz, this is jazz. Everyone in the household was woken up half past five in the morning and marched in our slippers and dressing gowns into a freezing cold garage where the beast to be eaten that day was being stored. We were thinking, I thought we were going to slaughter it. We come in and act, we come in and come in, coming in, the blood, smashing it with slippers.

Everyone's wearing those all over plastic suits like out of American Psycho, just like, whack on the Huey Lewis, let's do this. It's like fucking mid-summer. LAUGHTER We would then have to stand in a line and clap and cheer as the turkey was lifted and transported to the kitchen counter.

Can I just say the turkey did work for the NHS. So everyone would then toast the bird with champagne, you're at full, before going back to bed as the very able father and mother pair prepped it and popped it in the oven. Here's the thing. So you're like, that wasn's the thing. So you wake up. That wasn't the thing. Yeah. Fuck me.

What's coming next? So you wake up, you clap the turkey. I'll fight. You have a drink, you toast the turkey, you go back to bed. Whilst they cook the turkey. Whilst they cook the turkey. Doesn't sound bad.

Well, let's call finish. Here's the thing. I loved it. I loved it so much. I wanted to be a new tradition in my household. I've been trying for the last three years to get it going, but I mean resistive. He's at every step of the way. Harry, he's tried a three-year system. You should be all about this. Is it because it's contaminated with the stink of an ex partner? Oh my god! What is it? It's just washed that out. Yeah!

Oh is it because it's just fucking stupid? As I've been told, how do I get the turkey appreciation size you're going in my household? Thanks Carl. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, we want that, don't we? I don't want that. Who's curious if you'd clap the turkey? Look at all the, look at all the thin, tinsel cuts being quiet. All the things, I gotta say to our mind is a group. Oh, bop bop bop bop bop. Was that an impression of a turkey? For the listener at home I'm on to bite, but made the noise.

Bop bop bop bop. That sounds amazing, right? Yeah, I like that. I like the idea. I think there's something quite exciting about all waking up when it's still dark. You know, doing something as a family that seems just totally fucking mad, having a drink and then going back to bed.

Almost as if you might wake up and go, did we actually do that? Maybe you didn't, maybe you just had a fever drink. I'm like, clap the turkey. But also, when it gets round to, because let's be honest, turkey's not great, but when you get round to two o'clock, what having clapped the turkey,

you're gonna really appreciate that turkey. Do you know what I mean? It's like it's life was not given in vain. It's kind of you're honoring the kill. Kind of goes back, same time. I mean, you can't call it honoring the kill, by the way. Imagine if you're staying around at your part in the house, oh by the way, don't forget, at 5.15 we're going to wake up

and honor the kill. That might give you the... Come on children. Yeah, then 11 a.m. What's your future to the birds? As a rebrand, it sounds cooler than clapping the turkey, doesn't it? No, it's not that sick. It's not that sick.

If it was a Netflix series, people wouldn't be like, have you seen clapping the turkey, doesn't it? No, that's sick. If it was a Netflix series, people wouldn't be like, have you seen clapping the turkey? You're like, I haven't got rained to it. Oh my god, are you watching, honouring the kill? Oh, yeah, I'm four episodes in, I can't get enough of it. Turkey game. In the... In the... Turkey isn't game, is it?

OK, is it? No. Anyway, it's a waitress. It's Paul. Yeah. I mean, oh, this is jazz, man. I know, man. It's about the words he's not saying. But why did you have any weird traditions that in your household that you didn't realize were weird or?

any weird traditions that in your household that you didn't realize were weird or I don't think we're so dull but like I guess because it's Australia we go to the beach that's fun pretty fucking weird it's not weird in Australia of course do you turkey on the beach? We don't have any traditions and like I've been here 12 years I can't remember what we did at Christmas or who I am That could be the wedding. Do you have the wedding speed? You have to go to the beach. What I get a thing here That my girlfriend laughs that that every time it's a really hot day in the middle of summer I go, it feels like Christmas and it's still, I get very nostalgic for Christmas when it gets hot So and I'll be sad the day that goes

Because then Christmas in July, yeah, I just came up with that Sure you've always said it Is that not the case? You've always been saying that Yeah, I've always said Christmas in July, I'll mark it that Yeah, that's my catchphrase So how do we introduce it? How would you Get the system into it? I mean because I think we can all agree

It seems like it will be quite good fun Yeah, yeah, yeah, wake it up in the morning doing something a bit mad, having a drink, it's all good fun But how do you introduce it fire them? See it is we're up and then everyone's relieved that you go oh it was my must have been the oven while we're up Let's honor the kill or Let's be honest the real answer is get them to do it once and then once that just the once go really hard one year Yeah, and then get them to it once and then once they've done it they're right in there. Don't make that joke. We're still talking about the

bike. Be solved. Be solved. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Oh look do it properly or not I'll talk guys. Imagine we're a turkey guys. On to the fucking kill, guys! Yes! That's a good paparazzi seating. Thanks so much, everybody. That was Be Brother's Cold Cuts. Why do you have anything to plug? I don't think anything specific, but if you like stupid videos that are usually kind of load of the rings connected.

But I have variety following me on Twitter and the Biggigs as well, Heidi, and the score-reagan. Right. Can have a huge round of applause for Heidi Reagan, our guest, Harry Odie. I was starting at your piece! OK, well we're coming out of that episode, I'd rather love the episode, that was, do you want to come out of that with the address again for the page? Sure, page.com.com for slashpappies.faxia. Always happy to say it, there you go. We're very good

at using it as a segue. That's what I used, if I'm ever in conversation and the conversation dries up, I just refer to the page and I think that maybe the reason why Carc is anymore. I've got nothing to say apart from patreon.com forward slash back is flat. That's why we're hemorrhaging patron readers, isn't it? Patron readers, I don't know what it is. I should say Tom is not a member of the patron, he's got no idea what it is that we do over it. He records the episodes but then he's that's his commitment to it ends there. I don't listen to the old podcasts. No, that was a treat wasn't say it again out of that. No, yeah. Well, that was a treat, wasn't it? I really enjoyed that.

It was so fun. And there will be a bonus bit of the show that was not included in this episode you've just listened to over on our Patreon, which I'll give you the address again, repeating, patreon.com, forward slash, papi's flat share, and if you want to hear more from Heidi, that's where to go. Also, all of our other guests, we're talking May Martin and Joe Hampson.

We're talking about Kerry Godlumman. We're talking about Alison Spithel. We're talking about Izzy Sutty. All of the guests have recorded extra bonus Patreon content and it's over there on our Patreon. Patreon.com, fallsthash, Papis Flat Share. Tom, you look confused. that's the first time you're looking for a thing. I just remember, I mean, it was obviously the Christmas recording is always a good old boozy affair, but I remember being in the bar afterwards

with Heidi and her saying, oh, I joked about not having things to plug, but I have got things to plug and I was like, don't worry, we'll make sure you can plug them. I think she might have a tour coming up. Well, I tell you what, but I tell you what, she's got a fantastic podcast. I know that might have a tour coming up. Well, I tell you what, but I tell you what, she's got a fantastic podcast.

I know that much on the global player called a thin layer of film. So if you've not heard that, yeah, that's fantastic. That's really worth checking out. So check that out. I don't know if you mentioned that on the, on the pod. Yeah, and on Twitter,

she's at Heidi underscore Regan. So find her and follow her because she's well worth seeing live as well. Yeah, she's at Heidi underscore Regan, so find her and follow her because she's well worth seeing live as well. Yeah, she's great. I think she's absolutely brilliant. I'm going on the gigs page of her, of her, I mean, the thing is though, I just got on the gigs page.

Of course, the old gigs council due to Corona, new ones will be announced on my Twitter. So, you know what, let's not sort of, let's not, basically, what a lot of comics I think we'll have to plug is, I'm doing a podcast every single day over Zoom. That's gonna be what a lot of comics we've been plugging over the Christmas and New Year's period.

Anyway, have a wonderful week folks. Enjoy yourselves. Hope you're having a Merry Christmas. If indeed that's the sort of thing you celebrate. I hope you have an lovely time. Otherwise, and join you next week for a really rip-brawing Papi's flat-sheast land down. But this is, yeah.

Crosby, on behalf of the listeners, the same to you. Oh. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I've always seen you as the voice of the listener. I could feel it coming back. Yeah. Ah, I mean, and not being a listener,

it's quite an ironic. It's a hold. But it's a cross-eyed bear with grace. Merry Christmas, one and all. We'll see you next week. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham to you. Corsham to you.

Corsham to you. welcome to Corsher too. Mmm, cheers everyone! Bye! Ho ho ho! Merry neighborhood Patreon Watch Roll Call! Ho ho ho! Now then listen up and listen good! People have been naughty as well, they sure, and people have been nice! And sometimes sure, and people have been nice and sometimes twice, and we will read the list with lots of spice.

Oh yes, lovely spice. My favourite street drug. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, some chalky spice. Well, let's have a look. Nort your nice, Neal Rory. He killed some mice. Oh, let's have a look. Nice or naughty.

John Wilson, he killed 40, bracket mice. Nort your nice, David Rock. Bracket's mice. Noughty or nice, David Ralk! He killed an heir to mouse with a fork. Oh, Noughty or Noughty? Noughty or nice, Jo Liri. They killed some mice. Oh, and they said, oh killed some mice. Oh, and they said, oh dearie. Oh no, will they be nice?

Charlie T. Or will she be naughty? She killed them. She's naughty. Very naughty. Oh, naughty's naughty. Very naughty, I'm afraid. Oh, naughty or nice. Simon Gershman. A wonderful lad and true. He said, what are you up to recently?

I said, killing mice, how about you? He said, of course, I'm killing mice, you silly old goose. It is my favorite hobby. He smashed them with a mouse, with a mouse, with a mouse, with a mouse, he smashed two mice together. Mouse on mouse. You know, mouse on mouse crime.

He smashed two mice together and then he did a jobby. I don't know what was the worst part of it. I don't know, but I guess. Nautilus nice. Like Rory Old gives two crabs. Suffice to say he doesn't believe in humanitarian traps. You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible!

You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible!

You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! You're the most terrible! Very humanitarian effort. Lord, you are nice. It's Ireland's ear. What a strange creature they be.

They kill a mouse. They kill a wasp. They even kill a bee. You will know him by the trail of the dead rodents. Three! That's right. He killed three. Dead Jamie McCarthy.

No presence for you. No, it's your nice. Will Car Kinetic Sculpture. We might have done this one already. Yeah, certainly rings a bell, but we'll do it again, because you can't overstate Will Cars Kinetic Sculpture. Well, not your nice Will Cars Kinetic Sculpture. He killed a mouse and then he killed a Vulture.

A hamster, a gerbil. They're all fair game, depending on how he's feeling. He wields his hammer, she wields her hammer, all of the wheelin. Oh, he's killed a mouse, he's killed a rat, he's even killed a bowl. Put to kill, no, please. Yes. Yes. But to kill a hamster with a durable is his only goal.

Spink. I'm talking of course about not gold spink. I really thought we were going to get to Mink. I should have done it. I thought when he went to bowl I thought he comes to the Mink. Well speaking of Mink. Yes speaking of which we were. Yes that's right. Well let me tell you something. Is it not your nice to travel all the way to Amsterdam to strangle a rat on a stag? Naughty.

Naughty, naughty. He's very naughty. No, naughty. He certainly wasn't the best man that day. Were you Rob Wag? Oh Rob Wag. Let me tell you a naughty naughty naughty very naughty. He's a good he's a good he's Ebenezer good.

Got any summons? Sort it. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha When I saw Mr. C. Fronting the shaman he was. His rap styles were unparalleled. And let me tell you now. I was totally under his spell. He's a good, he's a good. He called out like a siren song. And though I knew they were not good, I was about to do some wrong. I took one e. I took two e's. I even took a third. And who did I do them with? Well, James Thorough. James Thorough. No.

James Thorough and I, on our Stanisthair lifts, scooting through the land. There we saw, Atre M, shook them by the hand. Well, let me tell you, Matthew. That's the best story I've ever seen. Thank you. And I'd like to dedicate its telling to the honour of Remy Jardin. Remy Jardin, everybody. Well, he's a good. That can be very, very, lots of spice for you. That can cause. Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Oh, ho, ho, ho. My mother's just texted, oh, and that concludes. I forgot we were talking about. Oh, ho, ho, ho forgot where it's still recording. Oh, your mother just takes it. And what does Mary Christmas have to say? She wants to know your address. That's what I was going to say.

Oh, it answers all this time. Please don't send her as you do. The address I live at two houses ago. Because then John, the guy who owns it, has to call me up and say, I've just received a parcel for you Here at this address in a place you haven't lived since oh Seven years I'll tell it you off the air anyway

That thing please She can take the damn thing! Damn neighborhood watch! Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes! Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to act in not for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.

I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.