Pappy's Flatshare - Xmas Slamdown w/ Ed Gamble & Chloe Petts (Cook Christmas Dinner) S11E51

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to cook our Christmas Dinner… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a FESTIVE Flatshare Slamdown!With Ed Gamble & Chloe PettsChloe Petts - https://twitter.com/chloepettsEd Gamble - https://twitter.com/EdGambleComedyAnd to hear all of the 12 Days of Christmas follow this link (don’t worry, you don’t have to join the Patreon… although once you’re there you may as well) - https://www.patreon.com/posts/60149348 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to the special festive episode of Pappy's Flat Share Slamdown. Very exciting.

Very exciting. Oh, and a boop. Oh, indeed, Glocky. And a big one as well, because it's the first time we've done it live in what feels like ages. Yeah, and it might be the last time we do it live in age alone. No, no, no. I mean, last year there was a tiny little window that we just missed.

Wasn't there? Yes, well we're almost about to do one and then it didn't happen. This year we just about caught it and then there was a huge... I remember when we say we just about caught it. Well, this is, I mean, in both senses. We, yeah, we, we, there was a huge spike in cases around London, basically a day after we'd recorded this. So, listen, while you're,

I hope while you're listening to this, you have that in the back of your mind that it's our fault. Have you boosted your ear canals because we don't know yet whether it can spread through the ear waves, but let's see. And if you do see us in the street, give us an ear wave. By the way, when we're talking about spreading in a huge wave, we aren't talking about the coronavirus, we're talking about laughter and good times. And joy. Exactly. But also the Omnichrom.

Good wheel to all men and Omnichrom. We just got back from our tour of Cape Town. Spreading all the love and joy. Anyway, let's get into it, shall we? What did Ding Dong do this was? It really did. Ding Dong were really unidoo. It really was. It was two superb guests. Wait, let's get into it, shall we? What, ding dong do this was? What a ding dong where really on I do? It really was.

It was two superb guests. First time, first time, Flat Slammer Chloe Pets, who was fantastic. What to do? Many time, Flat Slammer Ed Gamble, who was also a superb, superb return to form. What? What?

He's been bad in previous episodes. I'm going to return to his previous excellent form. I'll get you, yeah, yeah. I returned to the show. That's what I said before you returned to his episode. I'm going to return to form. Returning guest to his form. And we were very much informed cheeses.

In the form of Ed Kim. In the form of, it can't be. In the form of his life. What a form. It's a perform. What a form it is. And what a formidable man he is as well. We had a great time with him. We had a great time with Chloe.

But I tell you what, oh yes. And not for us chatting. Just enjoy it, okay guys. Just enjoy the episode. Enjoy it. And in the outro, we're gonna have to deal with a forny issue from the previous episode.

Yes. Is that right? Yeah, a real, a real hot pudding. No, we know this is a big episode, but bear with us at the end because we need to address something from the previous ep. Yeah, we've had some correspondence about it, and well, there's a scandal.

It's a festive scandal. A real British festive scandal. So we will see us out for this for that. And we're the wise. Oh, yeah. Go on Tom, no, go on it. Because we go on. They haven't started it. Oh, oh, yeah, go on Tom. No, no, go on it because go on. We go.

They haven't started it. Oh, oh, oh. I just wanted to let everyone know that I don't you have an idea you've not got the right. I know, no, no, it's not that I don't live in London at the moment and it was the night before the record and I got on the train heading to London. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no fire round, but I was like, oh no, but that's because it's 12 days of Christmas, so we never normally do that for the... I thought, no, we do do that, and that's what I remembered.

We hadn't recorded any jingles whatsoever. So, what... All the jingles for this were recorded on the... Huh, the night before. And it made no difference. No one noticed. No one noticed. No one noticed. If anything, I should just point out the things.

I had sent the music in advance, but yeah. It's a Clarkie done all of the work, and you had no idea. We go down together with the ship. Come on, let's have a little space. We say no, a portion of the plane. Well, well, well, well. You forgot to remind me, remember remember that's what I said. He forgot to remind me remember. That's what I said.

And with those words, we'll begin a very festive episode of Pappies, Fletches, Loud Down, Enjoy. What is it Mathieu? What is it Santa, baby? Santa, baby, a fairy of the chimneys of the blue. You boys, yesterday my fine foos, it's Christmas! It's Christmas Day, then I haven't missed it wonderful news. Now, one of you must go down the polteras, get the largest bag of Linda McCartney, turkey mince you can find, and come back here, and cook me Christmas dinner. Well, it's not gonna be Ben.

LAUGHTER Tell me why, Clarkies. It's not gonna be me. No. Oh, well, you know, Christmas... Christmas has just got me all topsy-turvy. I realized that... LAUGHTER This is so close to be sat next to someone doing a sketch. You're like, yo, corona, and get back.

LAUGHTER Yeah. Just do it to gamble. Yeah! Tell it to Eddie, baby. I can't make our contact with anyone while I say these words Come on, what's the reason it's got you all bugger boost? Got your topsy turn me it's topsy turvy baby. Yeah, that's good That's a good enough reason Don't tell me it's got your flip turned upside down.

But I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm not going to, what are we doing? Christmas dinner. Christmas dinner, please. I'm not going to do Christmas dinner because, several years ago, I was involved in the recording of a Christmas single. Now, it was produced by Jedwood, you remember Jedwood, the Irish band. And one of the singers was Mr. remember Jedwood, the Irish band. And one of the

singers was Mr. Lundgren, the action star. You remember Mr. Lundgren, the action star. I remember it. One of the other singers was Jermaine Griehl's son Wayne. Now, the single hold on, hold on. The single was head-shoulders, knees and toes, right? Very festive. And Wayne Greer's job was to sink the knees and toes bit. But every time it came round to his bit, he'd get really quiet and he'd be a bit embarrassed and he wouldn't sing into the mic. Now this really upset Mr. Lungron. But the producers, they were okay with it.

Now Mr. Lungron tried to storm into the production room to say to Jedwood what was going on. And I had to say, Ruddolph, the Jed knows Wayne Greer, had a very shy, knees toes. Wow, Lally. That... Wow. That has got to be the biggest disparity between prep and quality. LAUGHTER That's gone on the poster. LAUGHTER

You didn't even write that down. How long did you spend learning that? Three, day. I live in Exeter now. I've got nothing to do. Well, there is only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a festive flash. Flashes! Flashes!

Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes!

Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! Flashes! She's right down. Hello and welcome to a very festive flash. She's slammed down. The panel show that says, it's Christmas time. There's no need to be afraid. At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade. And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile.

Let's hear you out. Top take a line! Throw your arms around the world It's Christmas time! Plenty take a line, but say a prayer But say a prayer Pray for the other ones At Christmas time

It's hard But when you're having fun, gamble, take a line. Hello, my name is Edge. I don't know the words. But whether you live for the flow in it's the bit of sting of tears, pets like a line. And I find the food, I found him. Can I ever, ever, ever of my turkish Tom Perry and Benedict Claw. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, whoa, whoa! So Ben, who have you brought along with you this week? Well, embarrassingly, I bought Bono and... Oh, my gosh! I'm just taking his life! What a mistake it's a maker! I've got my good friend Ed Gamble! Ed Gamble is here!

Ed Gamble does not know the words to do they know it's Christmas time. No, I don't. It's it shit. Not metal enough for you. Yeah, exactly. Not on the radio, it's playlist, isn't it? Those are two very different things. So, Ed, what is Christmas like in your household?

It is fantastic and quiet. It's normally me and my mum and we have lunch and then I go to bed. Right. So how long is the day last? About 90 minutes. Get up at 11, bed at half one. Perfect.

And are you cooking a she cooking? Oh, she's cooking. You're OK. So, Ed, if you're awake for that long, do you know it's Christmas time or two So you're up for a very short amount of time now, but you're a married man now, aren't you? I'm a married man. You're a married man. I'm a man of marriage.

You're a man of marriage. You're a married man. So sorry ladies. You've taken off the market. Yeah. I've been off the market for a fair off. You've been on your hand. So how's that going to change?

Are you going to bring your wife into the proceedings? Are you still going to go and spend it with your mom? Wake up for 90 minutes. We've not discussed it. What is she doing? Is she not going to spend it with her family as well? Is she going to do what she likes? She's an independent woman. You know what? You know we're a modern couple. You're a feminist.

Yeah, I don't speak to her. I'm not going to interrupt all this feminism by banging on about or about man stuff. You go to the feminist, you wake up your mum's, cook your dinner, you eat it, go to bed. Exactly, go to bed. You're a feminist. Thanks mum, good night. You put me in mind of Wayne Greer, your main Greer son. She really... Very similar to me. He was Wayne Greer.

And... Tom. Who have you brought along with you this week? Very similar to him as Wayne Greer. And... Tom, who have you brought along with you this week? Well, bad news, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, no! Yes! We could barely open our Santa's Cross, so we didn't have a Santa, but then... I find the most jolly person I ever know in the world. It's only Chloe Patts, everybody!

Chloe Patts is here! I have to say, I've never actually listened to this podcast, and it's really difficult to know what's going on. I will get into the rhythm if I feel, but just give me a sec. Sure. Well, I'll ask you a simple question. What is Christmas like in your household? It's the pets boys.

Chloe pets. This guy. Peter pets. Tony pets. Jill pets. We get get up we sort of you know we have a little bit of a breath a bit of a blink that kind of thing No Talk is doing detail here But yeah, we just sort of it's like a like competition who can eat the most in the pets house

That's like it you've got the same situation in your house, haven't you? I was delighted we were in the wings and pets turned to me and said, you're competitive, right? And I said, I'm competitive and she went, let's wit this. Yeah, here we go. Because you like, there's a thing in Paris household where they'll put food in front of you while you're asleep to see if you still eat it. And you do.

Why could dog? One famous year, I was reliably informed. I fell asleep in front of the tele, they put some peanuts in my lap, and I ate them in my sleep. Typically. Which, by the way, is a real skill. He's an ergic to that. One of the things I'm most proud of,

I ate nuts in my sleep. Really good. It's good, isn't it? Well done mate. I don't think you're I get nuts in my sleep. Really good. It's good to think about that mate. I don't think you're living up to your eating potential, unless you're eating while you're also sleeping. Gamble. This is a door open for you, isn't it? You spend most of Christmas day asleep.

Yeah. You love to eat. Yeah, I could do the pudding at half one. Exactly. A little bit of pillow pudding. Love it. That's something funny. That's something else mate. Don't do it. I'm putting it by the way. Exactly a little bit of pillow pudding

Can't person can't have pillow pudding on Christmas day. I feel like it's not in the spirit So we admit we've met our Christmas chumps who will be buttering my past nips and steaming my sprouts And who'll have the slightly less fun task of cooking me dinner. Let's find out if it went from the round one! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like this one's let it go, let it go. Love it. Two seconds in, Clowny let it go to me when it's something about Holly, isn't it? Yes, yes, yes. Smart old bread box. Right, round one is called it's the most wordiful time of the year. I'm going to give each player a foreign word that pertains to a Christmas item from that

country. You have to give me three definitions, your opponent must work out which one is real. Okay. Ed, you are up first. Your word is from New Zealand. Okay. Yeah, that's me. What's that?

Sorry Tom. Do you say good aim mate? You said good aim mate, it's from New Zealand, so I just want you to make a game. So you made Heidi Regan sit at the back crying now. I was saying it, I thought, Heidi's in. Okay, so you're really from New Zealand. Would you like to give it a shot at pronunciation? I'll give it a shot. Okay. So I've just got to do it now, I don't even get a... Well, I'm used to mock the week, I need like a weekend to prefer. It's cross me not ring out for you.

Can someone get Tom Neen and on the phone? I'll tell you one. Can someone get Tom Neen and on the phone? I tell you why don't you you read that and let's all just chat about Christmas. You know what I'm going to say it now I think it's the most wonderful time of the year. It really is. Okay give us the the words and three definitions please. Poe to cower. Okay.

Poe to cower. And I'm not saying this, but I'll just probably do the true one first, so it gives me more time to think of the fake one. Okay, sure, sure, sure, sure. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, interesting. Is he playing mind games? Is he a mind game? No.

It's a lack of mind game. Absolutely, no mind going on here whatsoever. God is a genius, isn't he? He's calling us. It is a sort of leaf crown. Okay, that is worn by the New Zealand equivalent of Santa Claus. Okay. Lady festivities. Okay, so the Okay. Lady festivities. Okay, so the translation is Lady festivities.

You are trying festivities. You're trying to work out, remember, which one is right? Which one is it? Lady festivities came out last night and let me some pudding pillow. It's horrible, you from his. Lady festivities. So is it lady festivities, guys? Have a think about that.

Chew that one over. No, no, no, no. It's the name of the crown that Lady festivities were. Oh, I'm sorry. It's lady festivities. She is the lady of festivities. I can never tell whether you've just been really good at this game or really bad at this game.

Well, I can tell. I'm going to say that Lady festivities, if this is true, he's made up. Well, I had to make a bet. No, not to make a bet. It's an angle, but it's made up, though. Oh, God. It's an angle.

I was just talking to all the non-suff-strengths. I've seen you last all face. I told you I'm competitive by fucking shit. Those are the two things about me. I'm always upset, because I never win. No, I think can you add like details to the one that's true? I say this all of them are true but all of them are made up. Oh, I don't know what that means. Okay, let's have the second definition please. Meet pie. It's a small meat pie. Meat pie. Traditionally consumed on Christmas Eve.

Yes. They all lift a meat pie. They'll lift it to each other. Oh, like toasting. So they toast with the meat pie. Toast with meat pie is a lot of carbs by the way Okay, so toast the meat pie and they say here's to lady festivist So they're gonna they're toast lady festivity with a little meat pie. They don't do that. They don't toast But it's a little meat pie that you toast with is that right? Yes, okay little meat The mind of a twisted genius. Is that how you're interpreting it? Okay, the third one please. So we've had the crown on Lady Festebete's head.

We've had the meat pie that you toast with. And the third one, here we go. Would you like a little bit more time for number three? No? No. No. Tree. Tree? Do you want to give us any more than tree? Nice, nice tree.

It's a nice tree. It's a lovely tree. Nice, nice tree. That's my favourite for the night. It's not like a Christmas tree. It isn't sort of Christmasy tree, but it's not a Christmas tree. So it's colourful. Yes, you put it on a card.

Oh yeah, do you? They'll have it on a card. They will, and they'll know what it is. Because they'll know what's the tree. They'll know. They'll know what that is, okay. So if you're from New Zealand, presumably you know all three things are.

Yes. So you know that the first one is Lady festivities crown You also know that yeah Don't there's a key we in the crown teller. I'll keep you jumps over there on folded on table 10 Yeah, you also know that it is of course a meat pie that you toast with and finally you know that it is tree tree nice nice tree Nice nice tree put it on a card and people will know about it. So, Chloe and Tom, what's going through your mind right now? I'm not going to ask Gede what's going through his bike because he needs a rest. So, what's going through your mind right now?

What are you thinking? What seems real? What seems fake? Nothing seems real at this point. Okay, look, I honestly think he could be any of them. Yeah. That's the, that's the, that's not what we planned. That's not great. Yeah, it's a bad sighting position. I will admit, leaf crown. I'm just going to say them and then see how it feels in my mouth. Leaf, that's what Ed did as well.

Yeah. Meat pie. I think you find everything in your mouth feels like Advocale right now. LAUGHTER I don't think it's a tree. I don't think they'd have a subsidiary tree to the main tree. But I think, yes, okay. He did add the words nice, nice to tree. That makes me feel like it could just be a tree. A nice tree. So you're torn it with nice, nice to put a spin on it.

So what are you going to say, guys? I'm going to have to push it for it off. Should we roll like crown and lady festivities? So I don't think lady festivities are a thing. You don't think it's number one. You think it's lady festivities? I'm torn to pets. OK, so I don't want to. No, no, we die together.

Yes. So in test. Yes, round one, by the way. We die together. We die together. Lady festivities. On the kill. On the kill, guys. On the kill, guys. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me Native to New Zealand featured on Christmas cards decorations and even at Christmas carol tree tree nice tree tree tree nice tree tree

nice tree tree tree tree It's my point to Ed Campbell and Ben Clark Okay When you hear it now, you often make sense to their tree at Christmas It makes sense It makes perfect sense You're a spider web, he's a spider web of deceit You're a word from Greenland. I'd like to hear your,

your attack. It's just that one. Oh, okay. The thing you took out of the envelope is the thing I was passing. Be ripped. Remember Tom, you died together. The web of deceit has begun.

Okay. I'm gonna cover that over so they can't see it. Thank you. Okay. Okay, can you do to cover that over so they can't see it. Thank you. Okay, can you do... Can you just... Talk amongst yourselves. So how do you feel about that winner, Ed? Meet HiA. I'm absolutely buzzing, mate. That could be the advocate, actually. Okay, three definitions of the word from Greenland. Give us a pronunciation of the word first of all. What do you think it might be? Kiviac. Kiviac, okay. Kiviac and three definitions please. Kiviac is the tradition of sitting in your box on Boxing Day watching every single match football

on the tally. Okay. That's the first one. Sitting in your box. Boxers. Are your boxes? Okay. Sitting in your box is watching every match football on the tally on Boxing Day. And I just say going the front row and yeah. You're trapped a lactic crowd. And it just escaped from me. Yeah. Boxing Day walk. Yeah. Yeah. Did you say that's what it literally is in Greenland or it's the equivalent Yeah, yeah

Did you say that's what it literally is in Greenland or it's the equivalent of No, no, no, it's like what that it's a equivalent of so what they'll do is they'll sit round and they'll watch just a day of television That's the tradition in their boxes in their book. It doesn't mean sort of I've the bad in the box It's green land equivalent off because the box does seem like quite a large part of what you said though Look my boxes is your lady festivities. OK. So that ones are like, right? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

It's like a poker face, but it's poker face, OK? Pogor face. Which one is your tree? We need to know that. Everything to play for. Oh, tell them, Mike. LAUGHTER OK. He needs to know that. Everything to play for. Oh, tell him, bike. Okay. Kiviac is the time when you at 3pm in the afternoon, you like take a moment to toast all

of the people that you've lost in Christmas's past. Kiviac. With a meat pie? Kiviac. It's a pie of sinclair. So is it everyone who's died literally on Christmas day? with a meat pie? Give me that, it's a pie of sinclair. So is everyone who's died literally on Christmas day? No, no, no, not on Christmas day, just like people that you've lost that year.

Christopher Plumber? Yeah. Christopher Plumber. So it's like a sort of Oscar's in memoriam sort of thing. Yeah, that's sort of the green land equivalent. Yeah, and at the end of the row says Kiviac, so Kiviac to Anthony Cher One of the greats, we lost it. Yeah

Okay, it's Kiviac, it's respectful. That's Kiviac guys. That's Kiviac. I told you this. A lot of people in Greenland then last ever words are that's kivvy act make sure you give me a good kivvy act okay one more please and then this one is you get thousands of dead birds. Oh! No, no, no, no. Is everything all right in the pet's house, old?

Don't start with thousands, pets. In your boxes, Anna. Yeah! Thousands of dead birds in your boxes, yeah! With all of those souls and eyes You react to the birds, yeah So I like the fact that you get thousands of dead birds That's not the whole tradition, you get thousands of dead birds

What do you do with them? Lads are going to love this Shove it in a seal What a steal The guy did kiss her a rose It's a tiny tap. But he can still sing while that's all happening. He's incredible. Such a voice.

BEEP! BEEP! That's far on my ass, old. I'm going to get all of that and leave it under a rock to ferment for seven months. Okay, let's talk about all of these again. Let's call it seven months. We'll round it up to seven. Seven months, sure. So we've got, we've got, remind me of the first one again was, I don't know. Oh, the box of shorts.

Watched, watched, Telly and Boxing then. Watching the football in your box of shorts was, was, was, was Kiviac, of course, Kiviac was toasting the, the recent dead. Toasting the recently deceased. It's just a moment of remembrance. And then of course Kibyak was stuffing dead birds into a dead seal. I'm hoping and leaving it for... To ferment for so much of it. I mean, I feel like the boxes was very much just drawn from Chloe's own life. Yes, yes. Err...

I feel... He's seen right through you. The last one does sound like... I mean, I seen right through you the last one does sound like I mean I mean I've seen it on the documentary I would have guessed that you know I don't have knowledge on this round you're not allowed to watch documentaries that's cheating do you cheating yeah would you like to read out the correct definition of kiviac please traditional christmas dish eaten in greenland kiviak consists of hundreds not thousands. Sorry I've abricated that of dead birds stuffed into a desiil and left a ferment under a rock for up to

Seven months. That's kiviak guys That's kiviak That's kiviak And of course Edgamble right it tastes better than aprica Ben you're up next this is yours oh boy Your word is from Italy. I'd like a pronunciation please and of course Tom Chloe which one is real which one is fake? Oh, yeah, no, I've seen this in a documentary. A documentary? A nice documentary.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's so right on that. That's coming out, guys. So, the words...

Bethana. Bethana. Bethana. Bethana. Yes. So the words, Bethana. Bethana. Bethana. Bethana. Yes. Bethana. And it is a special type of Christmas sausage that you get from your local butchers. Does it have to be local? Can you travel for your Bethana?

Well, you can travel to Italy for it. Of course. It's coiled up, but what you do is you cook it, and then you uncoil it down a table. Oh, we've all been there. So, rude away, like, you get a... And they tend to come in three different lengths, three feet.

They're in that row. Six feet. Oh, that row. Six feet. Oh yeah. And 24 feet. 24 feet. Oh! And then 24 foot baffana. Oh.

Baffana. That's when Maria, 24 foot baffana, should be so lucky. OK. So, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I does the washing up? No, I've got to the shop of Anna! No, I'm a free, a football fan, now a Christopher Plum. That's a fucking massive ball of Anna. Okay, so you've got the three different lengths of sausage from your local... What butchers. Sorry, what was the second length?

It was three. Three, six and twenty-three. of sausage from your local... What butchers? Sorry, what was the second length? Is it with three? Three, six and twenty-three. Six and twenty-three. And then twenty-three. Oh, big leap. Big jump. That's a big jumper for the... It's a big, a Catholic country and a big one.

But what am I supposed to go from six to twenty-four? When you've had loads of kids? Who's catering for the twelfth? You have a half. You can have a half or twenty-four, I'm sure. Or you could just buy two sixes. Ah! How you do with the Baffana?

I've seen a documentary. Okay, so that is the sausage you prefer. Okay, the next one, Baffana. Baffana. It's the name of a witch. Oh! Oh, he's scary! Genuinely the abacus is beating name of a witch that comes down your chimney on January 5th

and just gives the kids presents. Oh, it's quite similar to Lady Festivities, isn't it? It's like a evilivities, isn't it? That one's like our evil sister, isn't it? Lady Festivity and Biffana! Okay, a third definition please, Clarke. We've got the sausage, we've got the witch. Where are you going to go on the third one? The third one is Biffana.

Biffana? It's a nice tree. It's not a puppy. It's a nice tree. Yeah, it's a very Italian. They hang pasta on it. Oh! How big is it? Oh, well it comes in three sides. Okay, so we're talking sausage, which or nice, nice tree. Chloe, you're not going to be able to eat it.

I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. three sides. Okay, so we're talking sausage, which on nice, nice tree? Chloe, what are you thinking at the moment? If it's not a nice tree that you hang passer off, that is the shit is when you've ever come up with. Listen, he's on your team. Okay. The sausage is also shit. You've panicked. You've gone past a tree. We've got it. You've had it. You've had it. You've had it.

You've got to go with that gut here, Pat. Yeah, and I think it's one of those things where I feel like in my heart of hearts that January the 5th is like the last day of Christmas or something. OK. And I don't think you'd have plucked out a thinner. And it just feels like a nice sort of feminist reboot,

after Santa coming down the chimney on Christmas Day. You can't see a witch. You can't see a witch, man. I'll be jolly a fun killer, man. I'll be a horny woman to come in. Yeah, I think it's, I think buffana is a lot better. I'll fall on that. It's an A at the end, isn't it?

Buffana. Yeah, it is. I don't think it's an A at the end, yeah. But is it a witch at the start? Let's find out Clarky. What's the definition? It's a nice dream. No, that was... LAUGHTER

It's a wiiiing! It's a witch at the end! CHEERING That was great. That was great. That was really good. Tom Perry closes off strong. Your word... In fact, it's a phrase. Whoa! But I thought you could do it I trust you man you can do this your phrase is from Sweden so let's let's see what your

pronunciation is okay give us three definitions of that phrase from Svind. Okay, and how are you guys enjoying Christmas this year? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a lovely time, actually. I bought no presents so far, and I'm in a bit of a panic about it. Okay. What happened there? Trying to buy some time. I thought that was what you were saying, the phrase, man. bit of a panic about it. Okay. What happened there?

Trying to buy some time. I thought that was what you were saying, the phrase, man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Every once in a while, again, is you. I am.

Got it. Okay. So, on every Christmas Eve, the family stand around the fireplace, and that's the phrase they say to the fireplace, to tell St Nicholas that it's okay to come visit. So, but they're telling St Nicholas that they're saying it to the fireplace.

Yeah, because that's where he comes from, right? Yeah, but he's not waiting. Oh, but... And he's... He's not standing at the top of every chimney going like, I just wait until I get the all clear. That'll take him fucking three days. Yeah, it's giving him the all clear.

If I can air all... Periscope. If I can air all periscope. It's like an outpouring. Like a vampire. You have to like welcome a vampire. You have to welcome him. But is it a bath that vampires are better at consent than father Christmas? Yeah, it's very true.

It's very true. Consent fans in. Go in the front row with silent thread. That's come on there. Yeah. God, no way for that, wasn't it? Pipe up for consent, can you? But I saw only the pull at three o'clock. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Every year they watch a...

They watch a... LAUGHTER Would you like to ask Clark how his Christmas was again? Would you like to? No, no, no, I had this. A fire place? Every Christmas, it's tradition that they watch a... Mate, if his football box in day, they're not going to buy it. I've tried that. o'r ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdynyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn And that is the traditional Christmas introduction to the Charlie Chaplin film.

So what does it mean? It is, uh, Kelly, I'll say it again, so I might be playing it wrong. Kelly and Ke, oh, hands Vanille, little tramp, God's you. But why is that an introduction to the Charlie Chaplin film? It's just what they say. Yeah, but what does it mean? What, I mean, like, it's just, I don't know what it is. So they just say something that's even nonsense to them

and then Charlie Chaplin film. It's probably like here film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film rhyme it doesn't rhyme Tom okay okay okay every Christmas day it's a tradition if I want to sit around and they watch a cartoon of Donald Duck and that's the introduction and they will say okay

okay and then they'll watch the cartoon of Donald Duck And they will say, Calle and Cahok hands Vanille, on Scagord, and then they'll watch the cartoon of Donald Duck. Any point me asking what that means? Is the old bloody duck again? Do they clap the duck? Do we know that? Do they all of the kill? Yeah, do they all of the kill?

Okay, so we've got... We've got... Now now remind me again, it was they, they tell us a story, they story to the fireplace or they're welcome. They say it's the fireplace. So, let's just know it's okay, it's okay. Okay, so the our parent, the periscope, which goes up the chimney. Let's, uh, good Sidnik down the chimney. Yeah. Let's have no, he's welcome. And then the other one was they either watch Charlie Chapman go, here we again Charlie Chaplin and that starts Christmas or they say Here's that bloody dark and they watched on or done could we have the phrase one more time please

Let's hear it right slowly please can you speak Swedish? Slowly give me the phrase Hello I got all kinds of money on scagodule Hmm What are you thinking like I think it's mad that there are two watching ones. I think that one of those has got to be the truth. Unless and hear me out, they're both not real. Now that's interesting. Unless he made up that second one, was really proud of himself, couldn't get the idea out of his head and panicked and did it again. He didn't look proud. LAUGHTER

I like the sound of the first one. It's a lie, it's a bloody good one. It is a lie, it's a... I prefer a nice lie to our arbitrary. To say for you, the show went great. LAUGHTER went great. Now you weren't too drunk, brother, it was great. Maybe we go with the watching one and we just pick the Charlie Chaplin one. We could do that. We need to say a few speed. Yeah, let's do that. Charlie Chaplin. Tom, would you read us out the definition

of the phrase? Let's hear the phrase again, we loved it so much, everything. Kelly anchor, hands my knee on Sky God Jewel, if you're a Swedish listener, getting to it, how am I doing? That's your bumper sticker, isn't it? How's my Swedish? On Christmas Day, more than 40% of the population tune in to watch a repeat of a 1958 cartoon called Donald Duck. No! The Schoenmery Christmas. It's broadcast introduced by a live host at 3pm every year. Good stuff. Wow, we really good Tom.

That's how you play. That's how you play. Now, time for Scoren Huffen, the Bavarian tradition of hearing the scores. But, you two, Emma, what are they? Well, Tom and Chloe have two. Two after all of that. Yeah.

Two whole points, be grateful. LAUGHTER Ben and Ed? Wow. Also have two. Two after all of that Two whole points be grateful Also have two Don't mind for that matter. There's still everything to play for you. We'll hold you to flat games And Yes, it's flat games and this is a special flat game is called him and Mer. I'm going to ask each player to sing to the tune of a famous him about a specific Christmas item and to play those tunes on the keyboard please welcome my elf on the shelf it's Martin White Christmas. Our first singer is Ben. I would like you to sing about your mystery festival item which is here. Thank you.

To the tune of Away in a manger. Oh, it's a beauty. Okay, it is a beauty. Away in a manger. Here we go. Easy. Oh! Okay, if you want to go out there, that's great yet. Easy.

You sing it, he. Easy. Easy. Easy. Away in a manger. Easy. Yeah. Am I joining in with this? If you're going to have to guess. Oh, I can't guess.

What's the secret about this? Yes. Away in my parents' house. I arrive for Christmas I am bored of their company So I look for what's on TV of course I look in a big book Oh wow, look at this If you want to spread that out I die hard and another film

And some programs that are here Oh beautiful Absolutely gorgeous now. Wonderful singing there, Clark Yelghi, points that in a second, but Ed, what was he singing about? The book, the singing about the book, which I guess is, I mean, the radio times.

It was the big radio times. So that is a point or two Ed, but I think, you know, it's such a beautiful lill-ting song. Eight points to song. Love it. You're going to be singing it. Chloe you're up next. You're going to be singing along to the tune of Silent Night and Tom. You're guessing what Chloe is singing about. Off we go. Make your hand in the big bud Pull it's inside, out and crack them Hope that all your dreams will come true very soon I think I've probably said enough But please said you know That's movie the tears that was absolutely beautiful I'm gonna give you points for that in a second, but Tom what was Chloe singing about?

Jubilets oh I'm gonna give you points for that in a second, but Tom, what was Chloe singing about? Ghiblins! Oh! No! I'm so sorry! I could throw it over to the other team. Have you got any idea what you would pull out of a bird and break it half and hope that your dreams came true? Wishbone!

It's the wishbone! It's the wishbone! What the fuck should you do in your house? You don't wish on the giblets! You stretch the giblets! You don't wish on the giblets! You don't wish on the giblets. You don't wish on the giblets. You never had a West Midlands Christmas. Wishing on the giblets is the best thing.

So let's do a jig in the giblets. That's the last time I concentrate on vocal over content. After your second line I was like, it's giblets. I stopped listening to it now. I stopped listening to you making a wish stop because I wrote down the word giblets. She's smashed this, it's giblets. Really? Yeah, dude.

No, it's not what the listening to you are all the two lines. I'm so sorry. You know what, I enjoyed it so much. It's a full ten points for the song though. Full ten points for the song. Beautiful, but of course a point over to T'Clarky and T'Clarky and Ed. Speaking of Ed, there is your Christmas item. Now you're going to be singing along to O'Come all ye faithful. O'Come all ye faithful. Oh, here comes that fat man, riding on his big sleigh, it's pulled by some animals, one looks really pissed. Lord will they eat, better leave them a snack.

They need something to eat. They've gone so big night ahead, Oh, that high-halb it orange has long, oh, something to eat. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Harry, I'm going to deduct your point for backing vocals. I thought we were on for a sing song. Okay, so Clarke, beautiful singing by the way, I'll give you points of light in a second,

but Clarky, what do you think Ed Gamble was singing about? Is it giblets? I think he cried. I think it was a carrot that you leave for the reindeer. It was a carrot you leave for the reindeer. Yeah. I think Tom, Tom, just to make you feel happy, would you like a single longer if they need something to eat? Shall we do it? I got the give me I'm gonna give it at four ten points for the singing but audience is sure just to earn ten points

Let's put the song We just do the Come on a door They need something to eat, three times over, okay? Gave birth Quite right, give yourselves a round of applause. Quite right everybody. Yes. Okay, a full ten points to Ed Gamble, and you know what, 20 points to the audience. Yeah. So, Tom, I'm putting something in the lead.

I was going to be doing it. Maybe if you fucking listened, they wouldn't have made it. Tom, we're turning on each other, sorry, it's gonna happen. Now, not technically a hymn, but I couldn't. So angry. So round one was, I would die for you. And that was the pet place fucking hard. Now, this not technically a hymn here, Tom, And now it's the pet plays fucking hard. No, I've got to talk to him.

Now, it's not actually a hymn here, Tom, but I couldn't not give this to you. This is walking in the air. LAUGHTER Not a hymn. Not a hymn from the snowmails. Not a hymn, of course. But I can't wait to hear what you do with it.

And your right hand is there. So how much does Tom actually look like a snowman? Yes. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER How much does Tom actually look like a snowman? I'll be casting. OK, snowman. Give us your best walk in the air. This desert isn't bright I think it should be light so wide

We'll pour upon this thing So light it will bring and heal I'm striking up my eyes The door is on a latching case The table gets a light and we all have a fright Do not Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I think it's 40% I never drink it in the year I use it as a fool My eyebrows are unlocked Tom Perry as a stoma, everybody And the eyebrows are unlocked! Tom Perry as the stoma, everybody!

But Chloe Pets, what was Tom singing about? Some of that was so high I didn't recognise it as English. It was Swedish. It was Swedish in relation to Donald Duckack. Please welcome Johnny Chaplin. What was Tom singing about? Chloe. For a sense of completion, Ghiblets. Of course, of course. Of course.

For a sense of trying to fucking win the game, Brandy on a Christmas pudding. It was on the other Christmas pudding. But what am I going to give you Tom? For that beautiful vocal performance. It's got to be ten. It's got to be ten Got to be ten What do I leave my score lower than top? But this and the audience are never wrong

Would you say ever what the score is in the round? I think we'd like to hear that to the tune of Walking in the Air 2. Oh my god, okay. The audience has 20. What? The audience has 20. Man on a tattoo, 23. What a voice. Chloe Anton also have 23. Oh, Jesus, should everybody have a portion.

Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. That was a gorgeous rendition there. That Christmas dinner is so close, I can almost taste it. But first, I'll put myself on with a little bit of beef. That's right, it's beef brothers Yes, that's right it's beef the whitest hip hop in the world really and Here as it's Christmas we're gonna ask our panelists to sort out a member of the audience is festive, flat, share, bass, beef. And this one comes from Anja. Are you here, Anja?

Yeah. Yeah. Sure, I'm panja. Come on, Anja. She's a panjaer in Christmas. I know it's half a leaven, but come on. So, Anja writes, My grand mar is a lovely woman from Derby.

End of beef. No. My dear beef, nose. Imagine. You know, we've done worse. Four years ago, I ate a Benedict's mint chocolate in front of her and enjoyed it a normal amount. She has latched onto this as if it is my only personality trait. Every year, I am now consistently given huge boxes and boxes of Benedict's mince. I don't like them anymore.

But I don't have the heart to break it to her. I can't do another year of these horrible mince. Now, here's how it's going to work out. Ben and Ed, you are on Anya's side, Tom and Chloe, you are on the side of the grandmother, but before you begin your case, let's have a quick cross examination. Any questions for Anya there and I'm assuming you've not brought your grandmother with you tonight? No, she's not here. Not here, okay, okay.

So any questions for Anya there? She's out trying to source you, those lovely mints in the kindness of a heart. Any, is it your only personality trait? It's a very good question. No, but it is, but I'm trying to break out of it, which is why I need to get away from the mints. Like when you start a new school or a new university, you think I'm going to try and define myself in. I'm reinventing it. Back in secondary school, I was the mince girl.

But now I'm going to be, you know, the Spongefink girl. Really, Matthew? Sorry. That's where you went, was it? I'm sorry. Any other nut even a chocolate, you just... I'm sorry. There's another canceling on the cards here.

I'm saying it all. I'm just saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all.

I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all.

I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying it all. I'm saying cobs and I've got nothing underneath it. Any eye apologise for that, I apologise. We all get the point you were trying to make. Any other questions?

We still don't get the point you were trying to make. Let's move on to the point I was trying to make. I'm here in the dear grandmother. Any questions from this side? From Ben, about... do yeah I've got one um why would Matthew say spun thing I'm not here guys not yeah okay what happened what happened in the in the in the intervening period because you like the minimal amount and now you don't like them at all. Okay, yeah, so basically what happened was I used to be vegan or vegan adjacent

and they were the only, sorry, Aegs. Sorry, vegan adjacent. Yeah, I'm seeing. She sat next to vegan on the bus. So you used to like Aegs? You used to eat eggs. I, well do I? I have a drink for you. We have got you some absolutely delicious. Matthew May, I suggest you don't call the girl sponge fingers and then get off her alcohol. LAUGHTER Hey, guys, sponge fingers, come over here, I'm a drink.

GAMMIT, sponge finger girl. I was gonna pop a jumper on. A sponge finger's vegan. LAUGHTER I'm gonna pop a jump around. That's Punchfinger's vegan. LAUGHTER So, Annie, I apologise, I'm so sorry. Thank you. I know you said that. I said...

It's not... It's not that he's going to apologise before he just starts doing a little hollow. It's not as to have a preface to the official apologies, you have to record for after the show. So I was given the mince because they were the only vegan chocolate in the house, so that was what I had to eat, so I ate one, and then she was like, oh this is all you can eat, so then she would buy them in bulk, and I would then have to eat them out of a sense of obligation. There's also a step grandma, so I want her to feel like, um, loved. As opposed to your normal grandma. Yeah, she's dead.

Kimiak! Kimiak! Kimiak! Kimiak! Always a sponge finger to her er, and his grandma. Give me that. Give me that, give me that. Give me that.

Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. Papa's sponge finger up yourself. Oh! What? I haven't apologised enough. Let me lift my truth.

No kick-shaming. Sorry, Anya. It's fine. I like the way every time I have the... Stop it, sorry Anya. Any other questions? Anya. Is it the only present she gets you?

It's not a present, it's just in the house. Oh. What? Case closed. It's like the future will get me, it's like the treat she'll get me for like the evening. Is it instead of lunch or anything? You know how after dinner everyone has a little chocolatey snack? And after I eat mint.

It's like an after-it-mint but the vegan version. But it's like a selection tray. So you're getting all the other foods? What's the selection if they're all mint? It's like different textures of mint. So more budgeted than others. I'm not joking. I've just got fixated. I don't know what happened to me.

Sorry, are you? Now, the other question. And you... When you said you enjoyed it a normal amount the first time, could you recreate for us the amount of enjoyment that you gave from that first meal? How dare you? I'm... I don't have to answer that question.

No, it judged you on me to do that. Did you say like, oh, that's a nice min. Yeah, I think that's exactly how I'm going to do it. What is your version of a normal amount the first time you enjoyed that min? If you would. Matthew, why are you recording a snow phone? Listen, what I do in the privacy of my own bakery is my business and my business alone, alright? Okay, sorry Anya, any other grids? I think it was just like, oh that's

nice. Okay, buddy, down it's there I say go right. Oh, that's nice. I feel like, I feel like we've heard enough to make our cases. I hope we have anyway. So what I'm going to do is we're going to start with Ed. Now, of course, you're on Anya's side. You have one minute to begin your case. I call upon you.

Your minute begins now. Now, Anya, look, you were vegan, you're not anymore. That's fine, and it's about time your step-grandma learnt a little bit more about you. You have spent a long time trying to welcome her into your family, and this woman is clearly thick and hateful. Yes, she's made a vague effort with the Benedict's, whatever they called, chocolate mint, but just get you an after-end, give you a bit of bacon.

Listen to your new needs. I don't like this woman as much as you clearly hate her as well. And I can't apologise, and I'll forget for Matthew's sponge finger. I'm so sorry, and yet any other questions. You have another 20 seconds left if you need it. Okay, no, I think I'm just going to let you apologise. I'm so sorry about calling it the Spongefinger girl. I literally don't know where it came from, but I need to go away for a little bit. Do a lot of reading.

Do a lot of reading and to think about myself and to think about why that was the first thing that popped into my fever combined. I could only apologise, Ania, and will you marry me? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're going to put a ring on her face. Oh, I was at the same time. So sorry. Okay, Chloe, you have a minute to begin your case, and of course you are on the grandmother's side. Your minute starts now. Well, you know, she's an old lady.

Less we forget, she's your step-grandmother. She, as you've said, she's trying to connect to you. And what she's done is she's just brought you a mint, which is just round the house. It's sort of like background mint. Mae'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n gwaith yw'n Or just suck it the fuck up and just tell her, I don't like the mince, this is the thing that I want and I think it could be like an excellent opportunity for you and your step-grandmother to like grow together, you know? Interesting thing, really fanta, how long have I got left? I'm floundering.

10 seconds, but I think clearly that's right. Occuse Matthew of St. Laura's Monday. Yeah, at the end of the day I listened to women. And... LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Okay, well, that's your time, Kelly. Oh, that's a time suddenly, is it Matthew?

That's coming in. I think it's 30-30 seconds. I can see the clock, it's 32 seconds left. Time's up, I can see you. Time's up. LAUGHTER Never found yourself when you're being accused of being a perv. LAUGHTER Ooh.

And yeah, I have to ask now. Oh, god, what is that? How do you think it's going so far? Now, I've told you, of course, about the case that's being made for and against you not about the the things I've said, about you, and certain baked goods. How do you think it's going so far? I think it's good. I do, like, I have considered, like, eating the mince, but I don't want to, so... Sure.

It's Christmas. You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do on Christmas. No, absolutely right. You shouldn't listen to anyone you don't want to listen to on Christmas Day. So, we're going to conclude the prosecution with Clarky. Hello. Clarky. You have one minute. Should you need it to conclude the case for Ania? Well, first of all, I'd like to say sorry.

All right. You know, it's clear she's a bad egg. Speaking of bad eggs, do I have a drink for you? But seriously, I think a drink you should do because you only enjoyed it moderately in front of her. I think you should just enjoy something you want more more in front of her. Like, oh, I really enjoy this delicious

money. I'm so glad you didn't say his punch finger. Is she eating the money in this? Well, yeah, I mean, it's edible, right? He's okay, guys, you all eat money, right? It's okay, guys, you all eat money, right? It's not just me. Okay, Karky, thank you very much, mate. Powerful, completely. Really powerful. Really strong case from Karky there about the Paui Sonoma Coins, okay. Now Tom, I've got to ask, are you in this festive period, closing it off as yourself?

No, I'm gonna do it in the style of a John Grisham defense lawyer from the Deep South. Mr. Fan Shorstan. Fan Shorstan and presiding and providing your minute begins now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, might I begin by doing something that might have steamed colleagues over there, haven't done by wish you a Merry Christmas. Seems like them their lawyers from the big city there don't know your ain't no hell. Hell, I saw you like the Christmas tree. Don't go lie in the Christmas tree flammable as they say.

Old arson John there every town's got one and boy have we But it's our legal right to set fire to the things that we own and we'll defend it without life Am I right? Let me hear you now? Okay? No, no, no, it's not for a jurid a whoop and hollering court there So you sit on that desire there. I saw you in the bakery buying that, well, whatever, they, that German sweet bread that they call it. Anyway, I want to tell you a little story now.

Something I think all ring true with you here, home spun folk hell, hearing the story there, Something I think will ring true with you here, Holmes Spoon, Folk Hell. Here in the story there, little Annie, you're up there. Remind of me, if local man you might remember, known as Turkey Roy. Tucky Roy. Tucky Roy. Every December 3rd walks up to market Turkey Roy. Where's the fatest turkey?

Turkey Roy's in town, we know who's buying. Ain't no limit when Turkey Roy's in town, hell. Tip of the hat, cock of the finger. I don't mean to bring that back up, but Turkey Roy's walking out there with a prize, but... Well, what I'm saying is, we all remember the year, Turkey Roy walks into the market and orders himself for chicken. What's that now, turkey roe? I don't want to hear you say you want to order no chicken.

Ain't no chicken here today, turkey roe. Strange feeling that night at supper. Could barely finish my grits. Turkey Royal F-town that season he'd seen him since. Think I'm not people. There's a defence restaurant. A very strong case there, very strong case from both sides, but of course I can't do something as divisive as decide who wins the case and also no one here in the room trusts me anymore. So instead I'm going to let our audience here at the Pleasants decide so if you think Ed and Ben and therefore Anja are in the right a board now This is not good. Okay, I love it if you say round of applause for the other team as well

Who thinks Matthew's in the right for the other team as well. Who thinks Matthews in the right? Chill out guys, alright? But if you think Chloe and Fancho are way the best case, applaud now! It is almost time for our final round and as it's Christmas, let's all gather around the Quick Fire and enjoy a visit from Chris Jingle. It's a quick fire jingle! This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's funny that it all ways has a long introduction. Oh, that's right, funny. This is that long introduction for a round that's really quick. Except at Christmas, this round doesn't go so quickly.

That's because we know what's about to happen, the 12 days of Christmas. It always makes it a long round, so we should really crack on. Let's not waste time, reminding you about what you're about to hear You're about to hear some vague assonance about 12 drummers drumming I can't wait 11 PIPERS PIPING And 10 Lords of Leaping 9 Ladies dancing and 8 Mades of Milky 7 Swans of Swimming and 6 Geese a Lane I could go on

Oh please don't So I'm going to go on There's five gold rings Four calling birds and three French hens Two turtled tubs and I think you know the rest So let's get going This is taking longer than 12 Unless you don't know the rest in fact

And then that's a partridge in a petry So just to recap that was 12 drummers drumming I'm only joking, we can't do that again. So here it is, Merry Christmas, one and all. And please enjoy the quick fire round, the quick fire round. Beautiful, Merry Christmas everybody. Beautiful start. Yes.

Remember the beginning when you said, we used to play the sketch into the room, can you imagine that? The joy of sat next to Chloe Pets for a first ever quick fight. It was an incredible, special moment. So it is time for the annual Flatsam 12 Days of Christmas. As always, all of the artists have set it with me a vague

assulence with the lyrics to the classic Christmas song. Welcome back to Play Us In. It's Martin White Christmas. Yes! Now, if you think you have the right answer, shout out your first name. Ben and Ed, let's hear that. Ben? Ed. Thank you. Ben Ed thank you Tom and Chloe Chloe Very clever

Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever

Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever

Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Very clever Doctor, whose phone box and the third guy who played him. Okay. Alright, chill out guys, I know you all know it. Tom, Ben. Tom. No, Ben's been went first. Ben went out, I've got it. Tom's shak his name now.

He said Ben, and then Tom said Tom and Ben went, I'm happy to concede. In which case? Ben. A TARDIS and John Per-Wee is correct! Here we go. Two turtle dubs. I am chomping on the moaning goes from Harry Potter's narcotics Tumertals drugs

Tumertals drugs is correct Tumertals drugs at the target And your birthday Three French Hens Mr Mac has more than one fun decadreau on an old age. Mr. Mac has more than one fun decadreau on an old age. Lease penchant is correct. Lease penchant, jumer's of drugs drugs and the target is at your birth to win.

Please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, please pen, change, change please pen, change, please pen, change please pen, change, change please pen, change, please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, change please pen, changecalling birds here. Right, up on the blackboard, everything misses, Phillips from a strictly says. Right, up on the blackboard, everything misses, Phillips from a strictly says. Right on the blackboard, everything that miss Phillips from a strictly says. Right on the blackboard, everything that Miss Phillips from Strictly says. Right on the blackboard. A chalkyleens words.

Yes, Jim. You're a polytword, leaping shed, tumours strut, and a darkness, and a bird, we're not. I've got rings, this is a big one. You know what I'm just saying, I just looked at Chloe's pattern. I was like, oh my god, you had it and she was like, I wrote that after you said it. I'm trying to, I'm trying to like learn how to do it by revising the others. Yeah, that's good. You'll be great next year. Okay, five's good. You'll be great next year. Yeah. OK, five gold rings. A pair of airwear boots with yellow trim and bouncing

souls. Hey, how are you? I'm hurt, you're all those dogs. Dog Martin. Yes, Coney Banks. What a party. Yeah. And the time is and come back to me. Six keys are laid.

And Mr Van Dyke runs a service where he pops your paper John's onto the scales Go again mate Go again mate Mr Van Dyke runs a service where he pops your paper John's onto the scales Dick pizza weighing Dick pizza weighing Dr. Ruffin She'll go into her knees, penchant, two metal drugs, and a tennis and a burtwee. Seven swan's are swimming. They're super natural girl from the stranger things has moved to a town in will cheer just off the M4

I'll do that one again for you folks They're super natural girl from stranger things has moved to a town in will cheer just off the M4 What I never is you're almost there audience we've got 11, but where? Where has she gone to? Not sauce, but of course not sauce, but you've got damn lunatics. Yes! Tom, Tom, Tom! Eleven's gone to Swindon!

Eleven's gone to Swindon! The greatest artist with the most beautiful, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, Eight made to milking. Okay, okay. The gravelly voice singer called Tom is a huge fan of the shot. This is what Ben? Ben? Waits like a building. Oh, you're very close, Clarky, very close. Ed, do you want to assist him? He's a huge fan of the shot. You could say it's his best one.

The Grammy boy is Ed. Wait, it's favourite building. It's correct! Wait, it's favourite building. A level of Wisconsin swing and deep. Thanks, Ed. It's a way to go. The cup says, Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and gentlemen and Mr. Clark, Neil is so charming that he puts me in a daze.

Mr. Ed. Ed. Rylans in truncing. He's correct! Crossing. Way to play the built-in elements. Gone to Swindons, Pins away, dog, of death.

Chordainsworth, Lee's pensions, Chugas, Thrustrucks, And the Tardis and Jomper Tweed. Ten lords, a leafing.

Ten lords. Ten lords. Ten lords. Ten lords. Ten lords, a leafing guy. Ten lords. Ten lords. Ten loads of leaping ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten loads ten Oh Lord, Sponge! Oh Lord! Tell Lord, tell Lord! Okay, tell Lord! Tell Lord! No! Oh Lord! Tell Lord, Scuff! Tell Lord, Aliebe, Aliebe!

Aliebe! It looks like a little baby, it looks like a little baby It looks like a little baby Lucky finds it dull Listening to Ronan from Boyzone Oh, it's Ed Ed Ben's boring Keating You're so close Ben's bored of Keating Ben's bored of Keating

I'm going to give you a pointy to a pointy to a few things Let me assist there My friends board of key to Point teacher point teacher I Dog hunting Chalka, a sweet pension Two metals ducts And the side is and John Pertsville And the pipe is piping Laurence, the interior designer is having a good old moan

Laurence the interior designer is having a good old moan Yeah, top top top top top Go no, in fact, can't be, can't be Lou Ellen Bowen's griping Lou Ellen Bowen's griping Top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top It's a late dog at all times Your guide's worth leaves pensions to puzzles loves Anathology's and your birth will end Final 112, drummers drumming Already? The final one already.

Come round quicker every year. Fucking by. Oh my god. What did you call it? God. Merz. Yeah, droids finger doughnut lives up to his name. By being delicious.

Oh, that's unfortunate. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, I have a remnant. The second-plus. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! The second part! Second part of the show! Well drum was drumming guys! Miss Gairdroykes Pinker donut

lives up to his name by being delicious. Oh, Ed. Yeah. Mel's Dunkin' Y-Y-Y-Armin. No, you're- No. My phrase is not that white has spoken with his key. Tom. Okay, Tom. Mel's- Mel's yum-yums-yummy. white has spoken with his key. Tom. Okay, Tom. Mouse, mouse, yum, yum, yummy.

It is Belly Yum Yum Yum Yum Yum! Here we go. Mouse, yum, yum, yum, yummy. Luella and Bologna's right big band. Board of geese and violins in trance and waist. Baybra building, levels drawn to swing. In drums in ways, they're building Levels, drums, swing, this East and way, rock, rock, rock, team Your body works, please, pen, sheds

Two metal strokes, and a thorn This and your per-twiz And the turd is and the jambad we ate. Folks, that was our festive quick fire round. Did you have fun? Yes! I certainly didn't. Now, before we wrap up the show, is there anything you guys would like to pluck to?

The sort of audience who enjoys this nonsense. Radio extra. The radio extra, of course, every... Yes, you want to pluck the radio extra? No, I don't know what you're talking about. Neither do I, actually. Chloe, where do people find you on Twitter at Chloe pets and on Instagram at Chloe pets also the end. Thank you for listening And now I hear that you put a podcast as well. Is that right? I do, I do have a few podcasts. Where could people find your podcasts?

Internet. In the internet. OK. So, would you say Emma, let's, they're all very good. Oh, they are. They're all right, yeah. My favourite one is... Go on. Life is. Oh, cheers. Yeah. It's the heavy metal Spotify exclusive one, and it was very exclusive for four listeners. I listen to it twice. Yeah

So it's you and me if I can't for all the listen For you to Emma let's hear those final scores please. Okay crossby you're getting minus 20 It's fair It's fair. It's fair. Apart from a report where he's getting six. The audience gets 21. Yeah. Yeah. Big score. Yeah. And then there's very close at the top. Okay, okay. In reverse order, who do we have? In reverse order. Yes, please.

Okay, so you want the winner first? No. No, I'm essentially normally... The winner I was going to do was... I was going to mix it up. Yes, go on. For tension, I was going to mix it up. Can I just say, Pets just whispered to me,

if we win, we're in the crowd. I mean, is it worth an extra couple of points? No, no spoilers. Tom and Chloe, 29. Hang on, you're not doing winner first. I mean, is it worth an extra couple of points? No, no spoilers. Tom and Chloe, 29. Hang on, you're not doing winner first. We don't know, we don't know. She's mixing it up.

Ben and Ed, 30. Yeah! So, probably in Tom after cutting the dinner, while Ben and Ed get to enjoy roasting the whole other kinds, Christmas is coming early to those Spanish-fingered friends. Thanks to our guest, Chloe Pertson and Gamble. We've been Pat McLean at Summer Placias Lambda! Pat McEase, first and second,

and now we're going to be in the crowd beanings outcounseled. Ben Clark and Tom Paryon, special guest, behind Pertson and Gamble. We also've been watching what our keys are. It was devised by Pat McLean, saying that he's my best ever caution, everybody ever caution. But that's been Winley's day, We also mentioned Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin Merry Christmas everyone, have a safe one, we love you very much. Well there we are, a very festive cheer. Yes absolutely.

A little Christmasy now. Now someone online has edited all of the 12 days of Christmas into one audio file. How about that? Yeah, how about that? Where do you see that? It's out online. I've retweeted it. Well, is this a recent thing?

Yeah, yeah, they did it like two weeks ago. Well, I'll check that out. So it's all of the 12 days of Christmas back to back to back to back. So we can retweet it from our puppies account. Yeah, you know what? I will, yeah, I will. Because some people have said they made it for a driving home for Christmas journey.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm desperate to find this now. I'll hunt this out if I can get through all of your tweets. I'm, well, I've deactivated, I'm, I'm, I'm coming off Twitter. So you're gonna have to go back in and get it. Oh yeah, you for? No, no, no, it's too late.

This account doesn't exist. Why have you got rid of your Twitter? What's happened? That wasn't being very productive in life. Yeah, fair. Fair, well, I know. I was either reading an awful lot of American sports and not being productive or an awful lot of British politics and being on productive and very sad. So you kind of go like where's the

you know I'll just the purpose in that yeah you can't get to follow us guys at Papi's tweed. If you if you tweed before we deactivate our accounts get in while the getting's good guys So I'm gonna eat today. We might read it and as a tweet tomorrow. You're on your own So anyway find it. It's on Twitter Cool All right, okay, so I there's no way I'm gonna find that I think I like to I'll be able to find it all right Clarke you find it. We'll try and stick it in the show notes if someone put them all together But you know what they've they're gonna have to add in a new 12.

Well, that's right. There we go. A strong 12 this time round. Yeah, yeah. You're really strong 12. And you know what, I think it's because we knew we had to do it in front of an audience, it really gave us that extra bit of fire in the belly. I thought you were gonna say it's because Clarky didn't join the planning meeting. We flew through it cross-bake. Oh, Pary, we had a packed man,

we weren't going to have a present. Remember, I told you to remember the remember. You're the one who passed sight pasting the book, my friend. Anybody throws me into the box, let's read some correspondence and talk about this scandal that we mentioned earlier on. Now, our dear friend. The real scandal is how full of holes are braided. Yeah, that's the real scandal. Let's read this, let's find out.

Let's find out. This will explain it. So our dear friend Rod has got in touch. We've heard from him many times. Rod, a very decent fellow, has got in touch, subject clapping the turkey. And he says, in the turkey brother's episode, Tom was really taken with the list as attempt

to introduce his family to the tradition of getting up early to applaud and toast the turkey before it goes in the oven, as well he might. Love that idea. Yeah, you loved it, didn't you? I mean, I think we all lived here. You sounded, you know, really nice. That was, I think it was Carl who got in touch to say,

this is the tradition I want to introduce. It's an ex's tradition. I wouldn't choose it to my family. Well, let's find out who that ex was. Back in the 2016 festive flat slam, during the three lies men round, he made that lie up on Christmas Eve in America. So, Paris, it was your you came up with it.

No, when do I love the ideas about it? He made that lie out there, it was my idea. It was my idea. It's traditional for families to put the turkey on a shelf and applaud it for 30 minutes. Well, this is what, this is Rod, Rod's clearly gone back to the episode and listened. He says, what sorcery is this? Did Tom wish this tradition into being? Is his other lie gonna become fact too?

Oh, he'll be putting slippers out for Santa instead of cookies and milk next year? Should we all be grateful that Clark, he's lie of the traditional Japanese Christmas tree. The traditional Japanese Christmas tree flip hasn't come true yet. She is very gentle and by. Rod, so here's what's happened.

He's basically, when I put a punt out a few days before the record, a desperate punt out for festive beefs. Someone has taken pity on us and gone, well, I'll tell you what, I'll make one up, and I'll use for inspiration, their own words. But knowing, knowing puppies, they'll never remember. They won't, and it's true. It worked, Carl, congratulations to Carl, whoever you may be.

Because we read that as if it was brand new information and we'll love us. There was not even a flicker. Not a flicker of recognition from one of the three of us to say, maybe we've been down this little festive past the footpath before, but no. So we didn't. Why made me think about those? I kind of thought about the Papi cinematic universe. been down this little festive past, the footpath before. But no. So we did.

Why, why made me think about those? I kind of thought about the papi cinematic universe. It kind of feels like that, doesn't it? It feels like the piece we created something. And then later on, it's come background. It's a little Easter egg. It's kind of like, you know, maybe it will, it actually will become a thing, though.

Presumably someone who is in charge of the Marvel Cinematic Universe has a pen and paper that they write down what happens. Right? I tell you what, I am, I kind of, when I read that, I was like, bloody out, I, I've kind of start remembering things more. That's ridiculous that you can't remember the thing you said.

And then the next night, I was texting someone who was at the record about something else and they said, by the way, I really enjoyed the the thing you said. And then the next night, I was texting someone who was at the record about something else and they said, by the way, I really enjoyed the record the other night. Your joke about Yokoaina really made me laugh and I was like, I don't know what that is. I'm like, I don't know. No concept whatsoever.

No. I haven't got a clue what that is. No. Could have been in this episode. Was it in the record? Was it before the record? But see what, it could be Advocar. No, listen, we can't blame Advocar every time because it's stuff in the house meetings,

it's stuff from throughout the year. Yeah, it's true. The number of twits, you don't do Advocar every time you record. I know, you do. You do. Finish the jingles point of Advocar. I'm a great Advocar for drinking when you record. You're talking girls, you're talking girls. Finish the jingles, pint of avocado. I'm a great advocate for drinking when you record.

Oh my God. By the way, the other day, a few days after the record, I had a period of like sort of three days of work. Didn't leave the house for three days, just sitting in the house, working. And then I had to go out, I think I had to take a clear to nursery and I took my boots out and I was like,

what the fuck is up with my boots? What's happened to them? They were like, they were caked in the stuff. I couldn't have been working on what it was. And it was, yeah, it was like, I think custody advocate, it was bad. They still got advocate all over the bed in the trim. Yeah, no one bed in the trim. Oh! Yeah, no one wants it in the trim. That's no.

It's a re-christmas, no re-christmas. It's an avocado in your trim. Anyway, well, I hope you're spending Christmas. You have a wonderful time. And thanks so much for this. Whatever happens at Christmas, whether you can get home or not, enjoy yourselves. Thank you for sticking us in your ear canal. Bank some advocate on your trim, raise a glass for us. Clap your turkey. Yeah, absolutely. Send us an out. Clap yourself as well. We're going to take

a little short break, folks, so for two years. Delete that Twitter to read our Twitter's, we're going to really listen to everything we've ever done so we can remember it. Then we'll come back so we know what we've done and what we have. Yeah, then we're going to take a few weeks off. We'll be back in the new year with some more house meetings, some more B-brothers cold cuts, at least one lie of recorded, a flat-sheast slam down. who knows how any more we're gonna get a chance to do before it all goes tits up again, probably zero. But thank you so much for being our pals and being our listeners, and we love it.

And you're wonderful and Merry Christmas and a happy new year. I thought you were gonna say we love you then, but you said we love it. Well, we love it anyway. You know what? We love it. And you know what Tom? I love you man. I love you.

I love you, man. I love you, man. Oh, thanks guys, I love it too. Ha ha recorded, as it always is, by Emma Corsham. Corsham team! Cheers everyone! Bye! Please be upstanding for today's Patreon-Nablehood Watch Roll Call! On the first day of Christmas my true love made a mess. His name was Fraser Ness.

On the second day of Christmas my true love opened the door. His name was Thomas Lynn Lee Shaw on the third day of Christmas my friend was panning he was Keith Manning on the fourth day of Christmas my friends legs were a shaking he was robbing Baker first casualty I made myself some rice and ate it with Joseph Greys. What day we are? On the sixth day of Christmas, my friends legs they were shaking. His name was Adi John McKinney. On the seventh day of Christmas, my friends legs shook till they were fluffy. Jee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee Bentley. On the ninth day of Christmas I found he was a pervert. His name was Aaron Gilbert. On the unteam's day of Christmas her legs shook into a frenzy. K-Team-a-Kenzie. You keep trying to make a sign them back as you're not going to do back. We will till our legs very much shake.

On the 50th day of Christmas, I got a real log on looking at Dave Thompson. On the 25th day of Christmas, I looked just like a thum. My name was Dylan. Ah, thum. Thum. Thum. Thum.

Thum, you look like a thum. You look like a thum. Andumb. Thumb. Thumb, you look like a thumb. You look like a thumb. And your name was dude. Yeah, that's right. Listen, coming from somebody looks like a thumb. Can we not joke about that sort of thing? LAUGHTER On another day of Christmas, I yet cake with all the trimmings

And shook my legged pants, Simmons. All the trimmings and shoot my legged pants, Simmons. All the trimmings on cake. Bit of lovely bit of scusters and double cream and trimming. No, that's not. Seven double cream isn't the true exhibit. No, no. Just a double cream and trimmings. He's still not going to, he's still not telling us what the Troubles are. BANCE!

I look like a thug, my name is Dylan. And here's Tom, he's a big ex-sakin'. Okay, okay. On the first day of Christmas. On the first day of Christmas. I ate some trimmings in the dark. I ate them with my friends, Steve Clark. On the second day of Christmas, I ate trimmings till I was hurting. My name was George Burton.

On the something day of Christmas, those frozen trimmings hadn't for. So instead I noshed off Jack. On the Trimm in day of Christmas. Happy Trimm in day. It was a day as I remarked to my friend Hazel Jay. Happy Trimmins Day! Happy Trimmins Day! As I remarked to my friend Hazel Jay Happy Trimmins Day! Happy St. Trimmins Day everybody! St. Trimmins Day! What day is this?

It's Trimmins Day! What is this? For my legs are a shame! What day is this? Hey, a rebanawad day is this. Hey, everybody, what day is this? Is it cream or knee? It's a trimmings day. It's since trimmings day.

Well, my legs, they be shaken. On the trimmings day of trimmings Are trimmings till I trimmings are trimmings till I trimmings My name is win I really thought that was going to be thumb then I thought you were smelling yet another word that almost dries with thumb On the 80th day of Christmas I met Manon Phillips And he played a good game of chess Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay. Man on fit. Finnish, James,

James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James,

James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James,

James, James, James, James, James, James, James, Julia, you're so nice. You're so nice, you're so nice. You're so nice, guys. You're all good on baking cookies, man. And I'm just as neat, sure. I'm free! I'm free!

I'm free! I'm very Christmas, it's the Trim and Stain! Ha-ha-ha! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice r need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats, but ice tea and ice cream. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now.

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