Pappy's Flatshare - Xmas Slamdown w/ Lou Sanders & Athena Kugblenu (Hang the Stockings) S12E47

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to hang the stockings… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a FESTIVE Flatshare Slamdown!WithAthena Kugblenu - https://twitter.com/athenakugblenuLou Sanders - https://twitter.com/LouSandersGwyn Rhys Davis - https://twitter.com/gwynrhysdaviesPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Tickets for this plus next week's Festive Slamdown stream are still available to watch back - https://www.tickettext.co.uk/GZlz3hdjTHSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to the final episode of the year. Oh, happy satisfaction. I've lived you said of the year then, bloody hell, I thought what a way to find out. What a way to find out is like, it's like when Ziggy starred us, fired the spiders from Mars live on stage by announcing that he's going to be a have a gig. So we make a pact that that's how we'll go out. Well, one of us would have to be the Ziggy starred us figure. I think you have to agree on a Ziggy starred us figure.

I don't think Mick Ronson could step forwards and do it. You want to be that figure? Is that what you said, darling? Look, heavy is the head that wears the crown of spiders. forwards and do it. You want to be that figure? Is that what you said, Tom? Look, heavy is the head that wears the crown of spiders. No, no. Shouldn't the fun thing be that we never know who the Ziggy is until it happens?

And then we go, oh my God, it's kind of like a knives out mystery. Right, okay, okay. It's a knives out mystery. We never know, it's like a wink murder situation. It's okay, okay. It's a knives out mystery. We never know. It's like a wink murder situation. It's like traitors. Nobody knows who the Ziggy is until eventually we reveal which one the Ziggy is by quitting. By a knife or by firing. Yeah. The double firing, yeah. Yeah, the double firing, yeah. That's right. So the only problem with that is there's a very, very good chance that we would end up

in a Mexican standoff of Ziggy's, where we would all think, well, this is the perfect moment. We'd all step forward at the same time and start talking in unison. The triple Zig. The triple Zig, yeah. The thing is, you've got to have a spot as remark, like I feel like you can't just say, we'll all just decide amongst us, you know, within ourselves, that we're gonna be Ziggy Stardust.

I think that wasn't how it worked out in their bands. Who's gonna be Ziggy tonight? Well, whoever grabs the big orange fright wig first, runs the front of the stage. It's the wheel of topless all over again. It's the wheel of topless all over again. If you don't know what that is, you want to listen to our episode we do with the birthday girls of their podcast birthday party. Really fun. Anyway, speaking of really fun, oh my goodness, this is the big one, it's the show of the year Tom. It's the second show of the year. We've already had one half

or one show of the two shows of the year with the fabulous team key. Why, why make it more confusing? It's a confusing setup. No, it's not today. This was show of the year. Please welcome flat share slam down. You've been talking about it as the show of the year for the last six months. Yes, but famously this year, the show of the year is two shows. So you can stream it. It's complicated. No, no, it's not complicated. Tom, so welcome everybody. I just started.

And welcome everybody to this, the Christmas episode of Flat Share Slam Down. We have a really, really fun time. We have two amazing guests. Plus of course, on the ones and twos, Corsham and on the the Ivories, our dear friend, producer, Gwyn. So it was a hell of a show.

Oh, loose sand. It's an Athena Cablenu or our guests. You're gonna have a brilliant time listening to them. it's an Athena Kablen you or our guests. You're gonna have a brilliant time listening to them. Is there anything else we need to, oh yeah, do we do a bit of a bit of Patreon before all of that? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so join the Patreon if you'd like. Just sorry, I thought you guys were, at least at the same time. At the same time. At the same time. Okay, so join the Patreon if you like, sorry I thought you guys were doing it. We both just started zicking each other. I think this was anti-zicking in there. Quite quitting.

Quite quitting. Has that just happened already? Have you both zicking me? Did you both leave the podcast halfway through the intro? Just logged off mate, I'm ever so sorry. If you like what we do and have yet to join the Patreon, there we go. Please do, get along to patreon.com and get on board with Papi's flat share. For £4 a month you will get a bonus podcast every week, plus loads of extra stuff. Whenever we do a flat share slam down, we record like a bit of bonus stuff with our guests afterwards. You get to find out what really went on behind the record. You get the jingle as a single or

kind of things like that. But every Thursday, you get flat share pop round where we read a lot of your emails and there's a whole community over on the Patreon. We highly recommend it. And it's worth saying we couldn't really do this anymore without the support of our patrons. They are the wind beneath our wings and the money in our bank account. So thank you very much to all the patrons. But if you do enjoy what we're doing, please do consider getting over to the Patreon and hopping on board and joining the community. Beautiful Tom. You know what, it had the feeling, the tone of a Christmas appeal.

Yeah. Had that kind of vibe. There's this gravitas. Yeah, had that kind of vibe. There's this gravitas. A tremendous amount of festive gravitas. Speaking of which, what could have more festive gravitas than the Papi's flat chest lambda, a Christmas special with Ethelica Blenu and Lou Sanders. Have a wonderful time listening to it.

We'll see you on the other side. BAM! Oh, man! What is it, Matthew? Yeah, what is it, your little drummer boy? Oh, what? I am a little drummer boy, actually. Yeah, never a true word spoken, especially at Christmas. Now, one of YouTube has got to be hanging up your stockings on your wall.

Oh, it's not going to be me, cross-there. No. I tell you what, actually, really strangely, last night, I was visited by three ghosts. All right. But strange or still? Instead of... LAUGHTER

And why is he not going to be you, Tom? I don't know. I want to hear it on this place. Instead of telling me the true meaning of Christmas, they're just telling me over and over again, they've all fucked you up. Oh, I'm so sorry. But it's not me, it's there. No, I... I won't... She...

Although, actually, I should qualify. Two of them were telling me that they f- you mum. One was saying that they're going to in the future. LAUGHTER Oh, Mary Christmas to Mary! We're talking about you! Oh, I'm hearing it. You've got a hot mum. No, saving that.

Oh, she is... She is... Oh, she is 4-foot-9. after it's firecracker, let me tell you that now. The definition of an Irish pocket rocket, she really is. And full to the brim of Christmas spirit. Tom, my jokes. Tom, why is it not going to be you? It's not going to be me, because the time I had a Christmas party, it was an absolute disaster let me tell you.

I had an ex-England manager, Mr Gore and Erickson. No, no, no. He was in charge of looking out the window to see if our guests were going to arrive. And his Scottish wife was in charge of pouring drinks. But she was very kept on just being slippy with her hands. And one of our guests was Action Star, Mr. Segal, Star of Under Siege, and also Kit Harrington from Game of Thrones was there,

although his plus one had got lost and was on a traffic island just outside the house. Which you had not... She had not had pen and paper for this. This is a final guest who has ex-Lemonheads leasing down. Even Dando. Let me tell you that, not ex, I saw him this year. Fantastic.

Still going strong. Still going strong. He had recorded, you know, he had requested, sorry, a salmon pizza. Anyway. Sam and Pizza. Anyway, imagine my disappointment when Gorking spends last glass fell out on the Deep pan fish for even. Let me also crossbeats, Sven Correction, but Tim, I'm not a fan of you. First Nancy and now this. Well, there's only one of this. It's not like this all the time. There's only one way to now this. Well, there's only one of this. It's not like this all the time.

There's only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a festive flash-in! Oh, there's a festive flash-down! We're going to be one of the first to have a festive flash-down! There's a festive flash-down! A festive flash-down! Hello Ho Ho and welcome to a very festive flat chest land down the panel show that says are you hanging up? You're stockings on the wall

It's a time that every center has a ball Does he ride a red-low's reindeer? Doesn't turn a ball is slay to the fairies keep him so before a day so here it is very Christmas everybody's having fun long to the future now it's only just begun Don't need just be gone Can I love Scalabaki, cross me a while, they'll be my festival They'll be following my festival rules Let's beat the sprouting the side of my character, Tom Perry and Benedict Clarke

So Ben, why are you refusing to hang up your stock in on your wall? Is it because you're still reeling from seeing mummy kissing Santa Claus a-ha-ha? Well, seeing your mummy. She'll be more than kissing, mate. I should never have said that the link to the live feed is going to be actually... ...devisated. Now she's off the Christmas tree. No, it's a very lucky...

Yeah. The worst thing for a room is, she loves a live feed as well as terrible. No, can we... all this be strapped from the record? This literally can't be the run-off who the show. Can I say as well, Athena and Lou, you've handled yourselves perfectly by not getting involved with this nonsense. I am going to start drinking the real lava kettle in a minute. Yeah.

I'll join you on that. So, Clarky, Clarky, why, I hope you brought along with you this week. Yes, I have bought my mental health on the shelf. It's Lou Sanders! Lou Sanders! Lou Sanders! APPLAUSE Louly, Louly, Louly.

Thanks for coming back on the show. Thanks, I haven't had that. So lovely to have you here. Now, what's Christmas like in your gaff? Long time less than a fourth time guest. Yes, indeed. Mae'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith yw i'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith.

Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith. Is that a deliberate to say if you go on to get away from Christmas? It's the sort of nearest warmest place going with mother and brother. I mean it's not that near.

Well that's hot. Going with mum, brother and your mum on a sort of fucking... No! I also don't think we should slush aim a woman in past crime, that's getting it every damn day. You know, your mum is, she's in her last years, and she's down to fuck, she's deep, yeah. And that we should be encouraging,

that's not slushame her, you know. No, no, no. Those titties still work, last I heard. LAUGHTER She's got a stocking, she wasn't filling, and why not? It is special time of year. LAUGHTER And I say that in a feminist way, OK?

LAUGHTER Yeah, yeah. It's Tim Key still here. Can we swap him out? Let me charge you with a drop him out. Perry, what about you? Who have you brought with you? Well, the Jamborees in danger. Yes, that's right, the grotto is under staffed.

That doesn't mean anything. I've invited the most festive person I know. It's the theatre company everybody! I'm not a staffed. Sorry, that doesn't mean anything. I'm invited, the most festive person I know. It's the theatre complainer, everybody! Hello. Hello. Hi, Athena. Now, I asked this question with some generations.

As I will ask all questions, you know, yourself. Yes, I have got to your mum. Oh! LAUGHTER And... And afterwards, turkey or goose? She was dry like a turkey. That was too much. As I said it, I thought eating it. No, no, no, that wasn't too much.

15 minutes ago it was too much. And I bet he'll get too much again, but that's Christmas. That's Christmas for you. Christmas, we're always making mistakes. So what is Christmas like in your house for the realsies? I'm going to give a straight up. It's very festive. We love Christmas.

When you've got little ones, they love, it shuts them up in it. You get Christmas lights are the best childmind that you just stare at them like So we get festive. Yeah, we have a proper Christmas and I do do like a turkey in a duck But we do vegan shit as well, so it's all good vegan. What's your vegan shit this year? Oh? Macaroni cheese. Oh great. Yeah, and I'm making a vegan curry a chickpea curry roti Yeah, people love that stuff. Yeah, and I'm making a vegan curry a chickpea curry roti. Yeah people love that stuff. Yeah, like your mum I win in diner. Do you know me? She's not just a body to me like Just so you know these guys that I cook for her, but I do so just

Thanks Just so you know, these guys don't cook for her, but I do. So just to see them. That, thanks. LAUGHTER Are you enjoying yourself, Luke? LAUGHTER Pfft. So, we've met our Christmas Jums. Definitely wrote that before the conversation. We've met our Christmas jums, but who will be hanging out there stockings?

And who will simply be hanging out with me in stockings? I give them a taste of my A small toilet book of panda facts, 10 chocolate coins are make up compact, toothbrush and luggage tag An official love made you tote bag Stock and fillings, Christmas day F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f- Rararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This first round is called Christmas threes. I'm going to give each player a list of ten festive things and they have one minute to describe as many as they can to their partner. But, like the pattern on a candy cane, there's a delicious twist. That's very good. See, it doesn't have to be rude, doesn't it? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER They can only use three words to describe each thing. And none of those words can appear in the term itself.

So if it's three wise men, you can't say three wise or men. Tom, you are up first. Here are your words. Now, Athena, you are guessing. So three words for each of your terms. You've got one minute, your one minute Tom begins. Now, Santas are the name. Father Christmas. Songs Christmas based. Christmas cows. Kiss under this. Mr. Toe. Shiny on tree. Tintsel. on tree. Tints all. Showiest special horse. Is it? Is it? Matthew, what's your mum's name?

It's not Mary. Right, dear,, reindeer! On the shelf. Elf. Mary and Joseph. Virgin. Is that an answer? There must be Virgin's parents. Jesus. Stable. Mur. Hey.

Birth control. But got her pill. Got five seconds. Christian Bible, Genesis, humans. Fuck, Bethlehem. Bethlehem, you're time. I've messed that up. That is your time, that is your time. So, how many of those did Tom get?

Jesus' birth story, I should have said. Jesus' birth story, yeah. It was of course, nativity was what we're looking for, nativity. How many of those did Tom get there, Grin? Thank you. It's me. Oh, sorry, Emma. Is that right? Sorry, does it matter? What we're looking for, Nativity. How many of those do Tom get there, Grin? Thank you. It's me. Oh, sorry Emma. Sorry, just a minute. Five and then a question mark on the root

of the red nose reindeer. She just said right there. Let's call it five and a half. Let's call it five and a half. Let's do it. Okay, so. Here we go. Is it me?

Hang on, it bends up first. It bends up next. So, Ben, you're next. Yeah? Do I guess? Yeah, lose guessing. I love to. That says that to the wrong stuff.

Yeah. Next. Let me get the tape. Is it coming across, I'm slightly rattled. Is that coming across? Right, we're going to wait. If we make we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were,, Lou, you were guessing. I just saw one. Well, if you saw one, then you've got a possible of nine, you can score from. What, which one did you see?

The first one was slay. The first one was slay. What would you have said, Clarke? It was really bad. I was just going to say Santa's card. That's good. Really glad she sees it. That's not bad, actually. Yeah, I'll give you a half point for that. Look, can we just take a minute to reflect on how honest I am?

Unless I'm going out with you. Yeah. Then I'm double honest. Right, here we go. So Ben, you've got a minute, Lou, you're guessing. And I've also got a minute. Yeah, you both look so much time Actually, if you didn't I just think you know you get two minutes

Okay, you keep on guessing after he stops okay gonna minute after it here we go all right your minute begins your joint minute begins now day before But a Christmas Eve. Yeah. A big winter. Grumpy. Ghostfucker. Oh, the Scrooge.

Surely back in the past. Think a bit faster. Spoky green. Grinch. Plant. Grinch. Plant. Cactus. No, I mean, I mean, I mean, Holly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you a lot of vongous? You're a lot of vongous, yeah, yeah. No Christmas cactus. Yeah. Come on, just ignore them. Cold. Rods. Stuart, Rod Stuart. Cold Rods. Stuart, Rod Stuart.

Cold Rods. You really squirreng with a third of them, mate. Cold Rods. I'm yourself. Is it Matt Cosby's mama? Cos it's a Rod going up. That's the last drink I ever going to make about that. I'm actually tired, anyway.

Okay. Emma! Okay. Emma, how many do they get there? Three and a half. Three and a half. Three and a half, not bad. That's bad. Not bad. Sorry about that.

What? Okay, now. It was the North Pole. Was the North Pole? Of course. Of course. It was the North Pole. It was the North Pole.

Cold, Ron Sal. It was. It was the Yellow Day. Athena. Athena, you're... Okay. It was Yellin' it out. Athena, Athena, you're up next. Oh, I can do it. You can do the same thing, but for Tom. Okay, so you've got ten terms. Your minute starts.

Now. Festive dessert. Oh, Chris was pudding. Died for us. Jesus Christ. LAUGHTER That's Easter. Born for us? Little matchstick gun. Can use tray. Me. Can usees. I move on, I move on. Err, big sock.

Stocking, Christmas stocking. The actual date. December 25th. White falls. Sky. Snow. Yellow, thick, vial. I want to say reindeer piss. Yeah! Err, yellow, thick, vile. Pfft!

I want to say reindeer piss. I can't paint deer piss, can I? I want to say that too. Yeah! Yeah, if I got, if they've got lights, I'm gonna throw us in. Yellow, thick, that's your time. Oh, wow. Custard!

Oh, my gosh! I'm a cop! Oh, wow! Tom, I'm afraid it was after you, Tom. It was, of course, an egg-nog-slash-ab, wow. Tom, I'm afraid it was after you. Tom, it was, of course, an egg-nog-slash-abacar. Yes, I'm afraid I can't give you the points. Emma, how many points did they get there? Five.

Five points. Five, pretty good. Pretty good. What was Kanye's tray? Oh, that's a sled. A sled. You can use a trainer. Yeah, okay.

Okay. You can use it. Oh, my God. You can use a tray. You can use a trainer. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. You can use it. Oh my God. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer.

You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer.

You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. You can use a trainer. I think it's the only thing you really just a trade for around the Christmas period isn't it? You know, you're trying to be a pro-wrestling or serving just sliding down a hill of course right Louie you ready to go?

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, you put a tick by it because you know no no don't worry. Okay. I'm making notes Given me pep talk Here we go. Yeah, expected ten out of 10 here you start now. Frosty the snowman Walsh or Willoughby Breakfast TV Let's move on. Yeah, yeah, the correct answer is breakfast TV. Yeah Well, anyway, and fuck Put lights And it's fucked. Don't. Um. I'll put lights over.

Christopher Street? Yeah. Oh, no. I'm going to put that. Those are two of your words, no, no, no, no. Okay. In the sky. In the sky.

Star, the northern star of Bright Star. Yeah. Shut up. Washing up liquid. Fairy. Yeah. Away in a. Manger.

Manger. Manger. I've done. Am I done? No, five seconds left. Oh. Presence paper for. Rapping.

Yeah. That's your time. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going. No five seconds left. Oh, presence paper for wrapping. Yeah, that's your time. There we go. Very good. Very good indeed. Right, producer Emma using just three words and then a handful more words. Tell us where the scores are at the end of that round.

Tom, Athena, 11.5. Ben, Lou. Oh, I forgot to talk. It's alright, it's okay. 11. I like it. Oh! You're lying! 11. 11. 11. 11. 11. 11. But it's good like it.

It's great to see that you have such fun sports about it. You're lying! It's awful! So it's a half a point in it as we're going to round two. Okay, so that stocking is still lying limp on the ground, but who will elevate it? As I elevated my twankey night after night. It doesn't have to be rude. If I'm on record, I'll acknowledge theatre. This is proud at Norwich Theatre World. Let's find out as we play, Flat Games!

A game! Let's make it together! A game! Let's play forever! Roll the dice, spin that thing, put that down! To the tutorial! Games! If you lose, you get nothing! Games! If you win, you get gold! For you, go! For the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for the hot, for it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it, break it down, break it down, break it, break it, break it, break it down, break it, break it, break it down, break it, break it down, break it, break it, break it get number one, surely. Yes indeed, not to that, but this year. This year's festive flat game's just going

elf on the continental shelf. Now, each player will take on the role of a cheeky little elf, traveling around the world and reporting back on what they've discovered. I'm going to give each elf a sentence about a festive tradition from around the world and they will have to complete that sentence three times. One with the correct tradition and then twice more with traditions they have made up on

the spot. Okay? They're opposing team as to guess which one is correct. If they spot the true tradition or tradition they get two points. If they don't then the points go to the elf and to probably get into the world's traveller spirit I'd like you to tell your facts in the native accent of the place Can do real that's a real spice to what the country's gonna be doesn't it the native accent of the place your tradition is from Ben

Ben is from Ben. Let me find your one here we go. Ben, Ben. Ben. Yes, there's your sentence. There's your sentence. Thank you, mate. And what's it? Now again, you don't like, again, you just have to communicate that idea.

You have to give it the word for word, all right? So put it in your own words just to make it a little bit easier on you, OK? All right. So Ben, your sentence is, in Finland, on Christmas morning, dot, dot, dot. Give us three possible things those Finns might do. Athena and Tom, can you guess the true edition, okay? Ben, give us three traditions about Finland.

What will they do on Christmas morning? It's mad because I'm gonna give you three true ones. It's gonna be very hard to distinguish. Okay, don't do that. That's gonna be very hard to distinguish. Okay, don't do that. That's gonna be because of your answer. Yes. In Finland on Christmas morning. Wow.

Hang on, is that your Finnish accent? Ah! Of course! You didn't realise you were finished, Clarkson? Yes, he's amazing. Was you a Finnish. In Finland on Christmas morning. I mean, that's Dutch, isn't it? Shifting along a bit, mate. Finland. Come on Connery.

Everyone fucks Matthews Mub. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Clarkey, Clarkey. Kill it, mate. No, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. That's out of order, mate. And you know... It's Matthew and Luke's mum. LAUGHTER Sorry, I shouldn't have started with the true one. I'm very sorry. LAUGHTER OK, three facts, just for the edit. Three facts now, Clarkey.

LAUGHTER Three facts, three possible facts just for the edit, three facts now, can't be. Three facts, three possible facts those fins might do. A thinner Tom, can you guess the true dish? In Finland. That's good. On Christmas morning. That's good. One of them has to be right. i'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith I keep cup of tea with the snow. I keep of tea.

That's how they say it's infinite. They say it's infinite, of course. I keep of tea. I do not have diplomatic immunity. I do not have diplomatic immunity. I do not have diplomatic immunity. Okay, so do they take a cup of tea from a snowball that they grabbed after rolling around in the snow or do they? In Finland, on Christmas morning, they finish all, give each other a wooden toy that they

have to make themselves during the year. Okay. Oh! Everybody's making a wooden toy, they have to give that at Christmas. They're going to make it throughout the course of the year. That is a leads up. Didn't you, you believe that? Yeah, but they're thick as sh**.

Don't worry guys, I know how it feels. When they're so-called nice guys turning you. So, so we've got the Kippity, we've got the Wooden Toy. Third and final fact about Finland on Christmas morning. In Finland. On Christmas morning. They make porridge and they play a game

where they search for an olement in their breakfast. element in their breakfast. So you've got your classic porridge hunt there, you've got your kippity made of a snowball and you've got your wooden toy made throughout the year. Talk us through the board. It can't be tea. And it's not snowball tea. I mean, you just guys are tapping it. I don't know. That's a good point. I don't know why you make snow balls. It's not fun with the tradition, you've got to go out and pick up the snow.

But tea though. Tea. It's like tea is a very British thing, if it was like we've got to go and we've got to make something finish. Yeah, something finish. I don't know. LAUGHTER Like... Like a pickle Terry? Yeah, pickle Terry.

I'm not saying that. Let's know, boy. Of course, yeah. Glug, glug. Glug. Glug? Yeah. You look glug. Oh, you're also from a Spanish.

Glug. Erm... And then it's got to be the wooden toy, right? I'm from a Swedish! Glue? And then it's got to be the wooden toy, right? It's all sex. Scandinavians are very like, you know, not a stereotype. I can imagine going to a Scandinavian house and being given some elaborate wooden thing. I've made this for you. You know, be horrified.

Because I've just bought a couple of cans. Fashioned out of wood. It just feels like a very finished thing, yeah. I'm telling you now you're fucking it up. It's not the right answer. What are you saying? Sorry, I didn't catch that. Yeah. It is not the wooden toy.

It's not the wooden toy. I feel like if that was the right answer, that's exactly the thing you just said. We've got to go, we wouldn't toy. You're going with what? Let's go with porridge, don't, let's say. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, It does translate that you look for an almond in porridge. So you said it. Why you said it? If you go to the bathroom, that's why you said it. But it might just be one of those things where,

because it's a different country, it's the same thing, but different thing. You're just saying, you're going to leave me. We've got half a point. We've got half a point, man. We've got to talk this through. I'm going with wooden toy, because, but I'm just saying, porridge isn't as illogical as we think it is and I just wanted to get that out there

It's universe. You've made him so happy by entertaining the idea of porridge. I know But I am with you. Are you sure because I'm with you? Oh, you swapped over? No, I just don't want to be that guy I want to be I think like I want to hear it But I really enjoyed the way he said would and feel like he was reading out I think like I want to hear it, but I really enjoyed the way he said would and feel like he was reading out The way you just read the correct answer I've got to make up something ridiculous But he might have been faking it obviously. Oh, don't do that. My question. Do is he that bright

Welcome to your first episode of Flashest Land Act. Here's the problem with Clarkie. He's not that bright, but he's a good actor. He's a good actor, man. All the best actors, the best actors are never that bright. I have also very good interactions. He's the Matthew McConaughey of the sketch community. Let's go with Wooden toy, because've got a sitter. Because you will bite it. Wooden toy. You go in Ants.

You go in Wooden toy. Clarkie, in your best Finnish accent, would you please tell us exactly what happens in Finland on Christmas morning? Well, in Finland on Christmas morning. Well, in Finland on Christmas morning, families eat porridge. Oh! That's a great game and a hot food all over!

Yeah. I told you, it's not the right one! Eat, try to tell him, unfortunately, we don't trust men anymore. Yeah. So, you're absolutely, I mean, Athena, you were right. In Finland they do eat a Milky Rice Poros, but unfortunately, overalls, so yeah, they hide in the arm and they try to treat someone's multiple arm and so the kids don't feel left out.

Come on, mum. X box. Next up. Next up, Athena, where is... Oh, God. Oh, Dad. I don't do accents. Please don't cancel me.

Okay. Next up, we've got your sentence is... On Christmas Eve, Danish families. Beautiful. What did Danish families do? Lewand Ben, which one is the true edition? Athena, give us the first of these, tradition. Oh, Christmas Eve. You're getting a little closer to the microphone there,

if you want to listen. Do you want to act a cushion? Oh, Christmas Eve, we gather the family around fire. If we don't have a fire, we use a radiator. And we hold hands, and we sing traditional songs from our homeland. The right. Is there any chance I could hear one of this?

No. Can I, can I, can I, is there only chance I could hear one of this? Er...no. Okay, so we've got traditional songs from the homeland while sat around a fire or in these modern times, a radiator. And this sounds lovely. I feel like the answer is shit. I think it's true. You think, you're happy to, you're gonna stop there? No, no, no. I think it's true. You think you're happy to... You're gonna stop there, aren't you?

No, no, no. I can't really. Yeah, let's hear two more just for the game. Okay. On Christmas Eve, we knock on a neighbor's door and we offer some food stuff for their Christmas table for Christmas Day. Oh!

She didn't look at her card for that one. Oh. Is that a double blah? What was your problem with that one? She didn't look at her card for that one. Oh! Is that a double bluff? What was your problem with that one? She didn't look at her card. I'm just doing psychology. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. That's psychology.

You know, the psychology is the best way to play this game. I'm French now. And, you know, I'm a well-traveled Danish person. I did my gap here in Patti. So, again, we've got,. So again, we've got the knocking on the door and the giving a gift of some food for the festive table. And we've got the radiator as well, but we need to have a third one in your best of growing. Just check there, what was it supposed to be? Your best day best day mission

For your attempts to go Danish accent coming up guys. I'm Peter Schmeichel I The only Danish person I know and his son The Apple does a full cast of trees. What are the chances? What are the chances? What a coincidence. Peter and Casper, please, please. On Christmas Eve, we push the...

...with our big goalkeeper hands. We push the Christmas tree to the middle of a room and we gather around it and we sing lots of songs to celebrate Christmas Eve. Oh, okay, so we've got here dancing around the radiator. No, singing. Singing around the radiator. Singing and dancing around the radiator. We've got going over to someone's house to deliver them some food as a present for their festive table,

or we've got singing and dancing around the Christmas tree in the middle of the room. A moved Christmas tree. There's two singing rounder thing. With a big hat. And you know sometimes they try and throw you off the scent by adding another one of the same thing. Oh, yes. I'm wondering, which of those two do you think is the most plausible? Neither. Right. I think it might be the neighbour one.

Oh, what? Then why are you? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think one. My early gut. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's just so much apologies. My early gut. See, Naomi, is that the one from your mid-20s? You're on your way, you got it. Talk us to your way, you got it. I like the push in the tree to the centre of the rain one. Yeah, it's not about what you like. Isn't it though? Well, it's not called what would you like to do on Christmas Day, Ben?

Well, that's quite a good round, actually. That is a good round. I think I know what the day is tonight. I think this has really helped me if you could do it in the accent. Oh, okay. So yeah, I think I know what the day is tonight. I think this has really helped me if you could do it in the accent. Oh, okay. So yeah, I think I know what the day is tonight. I think this has really helped me if you could do it in the accent. Oh, okay.

So yeah, I think I know what the day is tonight. I think this has really helped me if you could do it in the accent. Oh, okay. So yeah, I think I know what the day is tonight. I think this has really helped me if you could do it in the accent. Oh, OK. So yeah, I think I spent some time in Copenhagen. Um.

Could you have a diplomat to commutate? Yeah, I think you mixed pronounce in cake town there, actually. If we could... This was stay where you we eat some fucking broth. No, I think it's the neighbour's thing. You think it's the neighbour's thing? Yeah, because I sit alone to two neighbours and they're very friendly. You know what?

I get to go with you. Are you sure? Yeah. What did your early gut say though? What was your answer? It doesn't matter what you're already gutting, that's what we're going with. Is it help? You're locking that in.

Okay, so we're going with delivering a present, a food for the festive table. Athena, could you please tell us what they do on Christmas Day, what Danish families do, on Christmas Eve, even, sorry. On Christmas Eve, Danish families move their Christmas tree to the end of the month. Oh! And guys around that last thing and sooo... It's... Should we name that?

It's absolutely... I'm so sorry. It's absolutely true. On Christmas Eve, Danish families move their Christmas tree to the middle of the room and dance around it while singing songs. I mean... I want a bunch of books. LAUGHTER

Which is... It's what you say if you've got a piney-linear foot, isn't it? But, um... Lou, your sentence is from Norway. This time, okay? It's from Norway. Is there all that area right? Yeah, because it's safer in it. Yeah. LAUGHTER

Oh, I love it. If your fancy's in bar, boy, I'm not holding you back, mate. I've had that one. I've had that one. That's a mate. I'm not wearing that one. That's wrong. I feel so safe, man, this is amazing, thank you. So, here we go. Your sentence is, it's a tradition in Norway, on Christmas Eve.

Tell us three traditions. Athena and Tom, can you see which two are festive fabrications? Is a tradition in Norway? To make a cup of maldwein and share it all around the family. You top up all night and you have the same mug going round as you tell stories. I mean we were distracted by the action. Did you tell us that one again because I didn't hear a word of it? Can someone just give me a sentence to start me off like a Norway accent?

Like a Norway accent? Any uh-oh who is doing that? Yeah. Is anyone- I don't know- I don't know where you're doing the room. I beg God for that! Is anyone I don't know where you're in the room No way is it like this no That was good actually that was it that was a strong accident. It's strong as anything

Okay, in no way yeah, yeah, I like it It is custom in I In I stocking, you would say, here, to have a anchor chief in Nischoud with your initials on it. You know what I mean? So Christmas morning, everyone in this ducking gets at Anger Chief because he's cold and Norway. We're very niche, aren't we? Oh, yeah, I'm a chief of really warm-up. Oh, you get sniffles.

Okay, so that, by the way, that wasn't a bad self-site pre-stenders. I can't even thought you're going to ask that. Babe, if they want me an East Enders, I just walk straight into it. I'm not auditioning. For only an East Enders, it's an Afro-Nion Enders, isn't it? I would play Arthur, and that's all. OK, so we've got the mug of Moldwine being passed round the stories told. We've got the Ke'cheath there.

What's the third? Tradish. In. In Norway. Yeah. It's a custom to hide a broom. A broom. A broom. A broom.

A broom. A broom, a thing you're brushed with. A broom. To stop evil spirits from riding off on it. Tom and Athena, so we've had three very compelling traditions there. We've got three different accents. We've got the cut being passed round. We've got the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Which one of those do you think feels true? The Kacheepe. The Kacheepe is the middle one.

I feel like the stocking one feels like the most... I mean, the thing about the shared mug is like it's alcohol, you can't give it to your kids, I mean, you can give it to your kids, but you wouldn't let the outside countries know about that tradition. You can give it to... You're like, yeah, we get our kids tanked. I think it's past bedtime when the other kids are gone toed. I think it's past bedtime when the kids are gone to bed. I think it's like a nighttime thing,

but there wasn't too much info on the card. But... Mmm. Interesting. I'm happy to dismiss Wal-Moll wine. I think we've got Hank Chief or Hyde the Broome. What are you thinking? You're compelled by Hank Chief or your parent?

I'm compelled by Broome. You're compelled by Broome. You're compelled by storytelling. I'm not. My performance. It's literally like real-life CVBs right now. That she's fallen asleep. Um.

Um. The thing about a Broome thing, I like which is being on Broome's, She's falling asleep. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. I think that's a broom thing. I like which is being on brooms. Is that a Scandinavian myth? It feels like a very western European kind of thing, you know. Yeah. But I'm very ignorant about Scandinavia as we all think we've seen. Um.

Um. Literally. Well, what can you think of? A goalie from the 90s. Um. all seen. Literally, what can you think of? Goldie from the 90s. So. Hang a tree. I am in a, I think, yes, using that rationale,

but I'm prepared to be educated also about the Scandinavians believing in brooms being evil too. That is a lovely bit hedging answer, could you give us one for definite? You're going to go for Hankie tree. You're going to go for Hankie tree. Lou Sanders, would you tell us what paper they get up to in Norway on Christmas Eve?

Yeah, they had a broom to stop me this Christmas. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! From the mind. Oh! I'm not going to cry. Yes, that's also true. So here we go, finally Tom. Yes. Your sentence is, every Christmas since 1966 in the Swedish town of, now I can't, it's spelled G A with a numeral out over

it, V L E. So that's how it's spelled, but we actually have a pronunciation of the name of the town. Can we hear that please? The following pronunciation is brought to you by pronouncednames.com. Yeah, Vle. Yeah, Vle. What? Can we get, do you want to give that a go? Well, give it a go.

Give it a look. Give it a look. It went very quickly. It went, you want to hear it one more time?, give it a go. Give it a go. Give it a go. It went very quickly. You want to hear it one more time. Just hear the word again. Give it a go. Yeah, let. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

OK. You know where they play something backwards? About forwards. OK. OK, so every Christmas it's 96. Oh, yeah, yeah. OK, every Christmas, since like, you know, it's a perfect English. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay every Christmas since

He's got what accident every Every Christmas in Abu Dhabi yeah Time in Sweden with your Christmas! Every Christmas! Every Christmas! Every Christmas! Every Christmas in the Swedish town of Gjörbli! Oh, that's great! Let's go to the girls!

We found it! Oh, we lost it again, you've lost it again. We've lost it again. We've lost it. Give it a little background to it. Every year in the Swedish town of Gervier, they take a goat and they put it in the dress and they carry it to the town on the leaves.

No, Christmas Eve. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Okay, so, can I... Every Christmas. So, it's a goat in a dress being paraded around the town, and it's lovely. Every Christmas? Dead or alive?

Huh? Dead or alive. Oh, very much alive. We are ofy good in the town in Kavual. Every Christmas. Can I just ask, what are you doing with your hands, by the way? It's helping. It's helping.

Is it helping? Yeah. I feel like a mountain goat. You look like... Of course, was it? Yes, wasted, was it? No. You look like you're doing Rowling with the holidays,

is what you look like you're doing, but... Every Christmas! Yes, every Christmas! Since 1966, in the Swedish town of Gwell... But... Wait... One person... ...elected by the village...

...gresses a second! A nox, some people's doors bringing into the Christmas What? Knock up people's thoughts Knock up people's doors Yeah, it's like the BFG Knocking up people's doors Knocking up people's doors

Oh, some people's doors What do you know we knock at? A door, right? Opportunity OK, so Every Christmas Yeah, how many times is is this gonna be the same one? It's like, 26, 26. Like, he said, it's the same thing. We build a statue of a goat.

And then we try and burn it down for kicks. So, Tom's giving us three answers there, is it goat goat or goats? What are I'm sorry for the call. Do we address the goal? I thought it was the same one. We've got a dress, we've got one that's addressed up goat, a goat dressed in a dress. Are you all doing the accent? I tried to avoid doing actually, yeah. So a goat dressed in a dress paraded round the town square. Somebody dresses as a goat, human being dressed as a goat, knocks on people's doors to bring in the Christmas season.

Or we've got a goat erected in the town square that people try and burn down. Oh, I thought he was just seeing the same one again. No, no, he's done, he's done the whole way there. I'll halfway through that. Lou turned to me and said, are we still playing the same game? Yeah. Yeah.

I, Lou, we are still. No, no, no, no. Talk to us, we're thinking. What do you think? A few. Yeah, big Christmas. I like the second one. I think it's a good one.

OK. But I also think that he gave the third one a short thrift Which might mean it was that and he was kind of throwing it away. Well, I think his hands were fired from doing this too many I've injured my knuckles I think second one as well maybe you think second one. I like second ones. I'm kind of if If it's wrong is it the man? Is it the person dressing as a goat the second one? Oh God Is that number one was go in a dress? Yeah number two was person dressed as goat knocking No, number three was burned the goat down. Okay, I think I think the second one's the best one

I think the third one's the right one, but I'm going and go and go and don't like getting dressed I know that from personal experience So I think maybe two. Let's get two. You're going for two, which is man, dressed, it's got all person dressed, it's got knocking on doors, bringing in the season. Could be.

They. Tom Perry, in your best, whatever, actually it's supposed to be in the season. In Christmas? Yeah. Every Christmas is 1960, 16. The Swedish Tower of Guillaume. They erect a 13 foot high statue of a goat to the Tower of the Square.

Oh! And they try and burn it down. Wow! That is absolutely true. Yes, the Yerfle goat is erected every Christmas, and over the past 56 years it's been burned down 29 times. Producer Emma, what are the scores at the end of that round So everyone got the same amount so we're at 15.5 and 15

Oh, could you do that in a scandi accent? Yes, we love to do in a scandi accent. No, I can't okay So the audience are on tentahooks as they were in knowledge, waiting with baited breath for a glimpse of my Twanky. But after a bit longer, there are still two rounds to go in the first course of course being Beef Brothers! When? You've got a problem! I'm calling a problem!

Because you've got a problem! Call it a beat! If you've got a beat, then maybe we can help you, be from the sorting I can beat. Yes, it's beef brothers, where each week, we pick a, someone from the audience, and sorry, that's not a this, they're true at all. Literally, right in front of me, this has a color strong.

Yes, it's beef brothers, and as it's Christmas, we're going to ask our panelists to sort out a member of the audience's festive, flat-share beef, and this one comes from Owen, who I believe, Owen, are you there? Hello. Hello, Owen. Owen, are you Welsh? Nope, nope. Where are you going to comment on his accent though? Where is Owen? He's over there right there in the court, he's waving his arm there, he's just over there in the, in the, in the, in the, would you like him to stand up? No, it just felt like the voice came from, like I wasn't sure what the voice was. Put the speakers here.

No, it just felt like the voice came from... Like I wasn't sure what the voice was. Put the speakers in there. LAUGHTER Sorry. LAUGHTER Owen? Get down to their mate! LAUGHTER

Don't jump, Owen! LAUGHTER So, this is Owen's beef. Wait. Before you pass any judgebrink, because you don't know whose size you're on, Owen. Okay, Owen writes, My housemate, open brackets, pregnant wife,

plot twist, close brackets, mocks that we had balloons up at Christmas as a child and refuses to allow them up for our celebration. Jesus deserves balloons. That is Owens, missive to us. Now, Tom and Athena, you are on Owen's side. Ben and Lou, you are on the side of Owens' partner. Of course we are. Of course you are. That's good because I jotted down Owen right, more like Owen

wrong. I mean, it will be a shame to miss that. We'll use that later on of course. Yeah. Yeah Hang on to that because that will be very very useful Could that be stricken from the record? Oh, yeah, absolutely We'll go you know what we're gonna say berserk when you say that I feel another Mexican wave Okay, yeah, absolutely Terry off pop in your pocket, don't lose it. Yeah, good call. Well, I've got an idea for a tweet as well on this. Okay.

Do it. No. Give it a preview, come on. No, no, no, I think it's more of a written thing. Okay. But do you follow me on 20 minutes? It's not. Do it.

How stag I hate doing flatslabs. So, I'm going to think of, of course, you're ono inside Ben and Lou, you are on the side of his wife, but does there any questions that want to ask Owen? Yeah, hang on, hang on, Owen's flatmate is his wife. Yes, yeah, yeah, so in this instance the person he spends Christmas with is his wife, who is Prego. And who got a pregnant? Great question.

It was me. It was, um, the anti-shaggy guilty. Yeah. So, any questions? What? I will. She doesn't like, but, no, don't worry about it. Um, or, because the cons, called it condoms, and then, you know,

all of that kind of stuff popped in the old day, when you do it. I'm going to get for the tweets, mate, say it. For the tweets. Pop it on the old day. I'm going to get for the tweets, mate, saying it for the tweets. Pop it on the Twitter. Pop the question, for Robin. God. That, like, you...

Not a great question, Clark, you're not allowed to... I'm not asking questions, I've got questions. Sorry, I'm trying to get my accent in all that. Athena, Athena has a question, Clark, who will come back to your question? Athena. So, does your other half, like Balloons, at any other time of the year, was it a generally she hates Balloons? No, she's all over balloons at birthdays. Like I have to blow up plenty of balloons for the two other girls birthdays, but at Christmas it's a no-go not interested. They're daft.

Oh, classes follow up questions, so it's not, of course you have a one. Oh, can I, is she religious? No, not really. Not religious. Love some, the rest of the year round. Luley. Jesus famously loved balloons. Jesus is awesome. Fucking all over them. That's what he's saying. This isn't a very question, but how big is your place? Because there's not a lot of room for decorations and if you're squandering the room in London. This feels like conjecture, but just ask the question.

You know, you're squandering that space. That was the word I was talking about at the question. You know, you're squandering that spell. That still feels like connecting. Yeah. That was the word I was spitting out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. How big? Do you live in a palace? No, I live in the north, but it's okay,

but you can put balloons right up in the corner. You see, so that's always the four. What's the square footage as well, really after? Can we look it up on zoom? You know? You know? Would you like to give your address, you on, yeah. Would you like to give your address out on the podcast?

This is live stream, yeah, on YouTube, everything, really. Yeah, yeah. Did you say you live up north? Yeah. Oh, have some planes. LAUGHTER Take all the joy you can. LAUGHTER I've had some lovely times in Durham.

Oh, yeah. I pronounced it wrong, but you get the idea. What is on the balloons? Was that the question you were trying to formulate five minutes ago? I was just so baffled like balloons on in any way, Christmassy, I don't understand. Yeah, you didn't see Jesus walking around with a balloon, did you? Exactly, you don't see Jesus with the fucking time though, wasn't it? Yeah.

What are your balloon anecdotes from your youth? BOOM! That she mocks to see. We're not launching a new podcast, alright? Is the problem your balloon story is from when you were young? No, I sent the problem is, so a couple of years ago I bought this up in front of my mum. I went, oh, why do we have balloons up here? You ain't ever paying the back side, so I put balloons up because at some point you get bored.

I take down a couple of balloons and that will keep you entertained for at least an hour and a half, two hours, and I got silence. That's why they went up. The balloons went up to keep us quiet. Okay, so the two things I'm picking up from that is one, they come from trauma. And two, you end staying for two hours by balloon. It was the north. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm on your website. I don't know. Any further questions for Owen? Yeah. Like, how old are you? Because if you was like a three-year-old and you got occupied with a balloon for two hours, I'd be like, fair enough, three years I'd be like, much better. If you was like 13, I feel like it's a lonely question. Christmas roasting. Yeah, sorry. I'm with you. I mean, I do you what's your balloon strategy?

Are you color coding? Are you pairing? Are you going red green red and up on the wall? It's two It's the classic. It's two circles and the long one is where you're gonna go It's the classic, it's two circles and the long one. It's what you're going to go with. Oh, that was a big... Oh, that was a big... Oh, that was a big... That's what you're looking for. There we go.

So, as well, as well, as well, as well, as well, as well. Just around and we found it, of course. The genital transformation. Excellent. I'll write that down. The classic dangler. The classic, I'm not sure what I'm talking about. The classic dangler. Does that change things for you guys at all?

I'm just so confused. I can't get my head around balloons at Christmas. Okay, use this later. Any further questions I don't think there are? Oh, would you mind giving your partners name so we have a name to use in the... Oh, is that okay? You don't have to if you don't want to. No, that's very Sarah. Sarah, okay. So it's Owen.

And the address again, sorry. It's No, that's right Sarah. Sarah, okay. So it's Owen and the address again It's Owen V Sarah now Hopefully that is enough for our to enough information for our team to make their cases Well further ado, I call upon a theater couple and you to begin the case for the prosecution your minute begins now Okay, Sarah. I know you have child, but think straight for just a second. Like, seriously, Jesus' birthday, and what do you have on birthdays? Hello! Thank you.

Also, they're in the shape of a penis, which is always hilarious. I mean, have we really lost our identity as a country to not like fucking genital balloons in our houses? What's going on? What's going on? Don't tell me right, ring Sarah, put a fucking penis balloon in your house for Christmas. She had little balloons in our houses. What's going on? What's going on? You know, don't tell me right ring Sarah, put a fucking penis balloon in your house for Christmas.

Goodness gracious to me. Also, like, your partner, if he doesn't have balloons, he'll think his mum doesn't love him or something, and you just don't need that trauma in your child's life. So just like, you know, he has mummy issues. Just do what he wants, so he can be a good parent. So this isn't really about balloons, this is really about the future of your unborn child.

So you have them on fucking other birthdays, you have them in July, you have them in May, you have them for Father's Day and Mother's Day, you have them for his birthday, he was birthday, you probably had them at your wedding, you probably haven for Father's Day and Mother's Day. You have him for his birth, all he was birthed. He probably had him at your wedding. You probably have him at your divorce. Had them with what fucking... Did all of them on Christmas Day let him have this one thing?

Goodness me, Sarah, for him, for the child, for Jesus, and for not blathers everywhere. Yes. You typically put... You're typically put from the theatre club playing you there. So, to open the case for the defence, Lou Sainers now, I believe you've got an absolute perler. Don't... Don't...

Guys, now remember, obviously, you know, the live feed, no, the magic book, for the record, right? For the people who are listening on the feed, this is going to go berserk, right? Honestly, I reckon about 35 seconds this is just to be applause. So, loose. Don't give me a standing ovation when you hear the first thing. Come on, guys, chill out. One man in Nürdenberg gave me a standing ovation and no one else

Was he also putting his coat on because that's not a standing ovation Yeah, you gave her a he gave her a standing ovation heart at 20 minutes Okay, very funny. Let's go on with it. Okay. Here we go Los Arduous to begin the case for, for the defence, your minute begins now. I mean, right. More like I'm in wrong. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

There you go. Right. How are you going to celebrate birthdays if you spraffed all your balloons in the Christmas? And also, no. Also, very common ones. Oh, so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a woman who's absolutely fucked from pregnancy and she might get past pote and depression if you don't and and also use that why don't you use that hot air that you've been blowing up the blues with on something you know charity work or something I'll also move South, maybe, might cheer you up. Well, it was...

No sound is everyone. Lovely stuff, Lou. I don't mean it about the South, I went to Leeds once and it was wonderful. Oh, it's fantastic night out, fantastic night. Oh, and how do you think it's going so far? I was quite confident, but the two stand revations have maybe wobbled. No, it's intimidating, isn't it? It's intimidating stuff.

Right, now, Tom, you're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Can I ask a question of you now? Are you going to do it? And I feel churnish asking this, but are you going to do this as yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a deep south John Grisham defense lawyer, Miss Fanshore Standard. Fanshore Standard. do this as yourself. No, I'm going to do it in the style of a deep south John

Grisham defence lawyer, Mr. Fanshawe Standin. Fanshawe Standin! Festively presiding and providing your minutes, should you need it begins, begins now. Ladies and gentlemen, after Hell, I recognize a lot of you there. Sarah Jane from the bakery. John Steven from the library. Well, I see a lot more of Sarah Jane, eh? I like the bakery. Ain't no sheaming that.

I'm sure you agree. I like the bakery. Ain't no shee min' that. Show you a green. Run here we simple, fo' queen, like our bakeries. Them their lawyers dare from the big city with their big words there. Owen Wright. Run here we ain't so much big on our riding. LAUGHTER Can we hear that again, please?

I said round here, we ain't so big on our riding. Fair enough. LAUGHTER Hearing the story over there reminds me of a little tale. I'm sure y'all all remember there. The tale of farmer Sam who lives upon the hill. Day he got a pig. Oh yeah.

Don't we know it. Y'all remember the day he got a pig? Now won't that be ugliest pig we ever did see? People pointing in the street there goes to ugly pig. People pointing in the street there goes to ugly pig. Pfft. Five of Stephen down the road there with the best looking damn pig we ever did see. Hell, get me damn picture with it. You all were queuing up.

Come's the day of the county show there good looking pig trolling his stuff working his wrists towards the Christmas yes and then father Sam comes up there with little ugly pig and what's he going to do with it he's only gone popped ahead on his head. George has been damned, a pig with a head on his head. See, the tens there scratched me in a leaven. Seems to me there every Christmas we sit there in those rooms of ours, dimmer, glib pigs of our rooms.

But for three weeks of the year, we get to stick a hat on that their pillow. And who would deny a man that right? The defense rests your eye. Oh! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thanks, your stand-in. APPLAUSE And Merry Christmas, sir. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Now, Clarky, you're going to conclude the case for the defence.

Yep. You have exactly a minute. Yep. Tom was slightly under this time. LAUGHTER And it begins. Now, listen man, it's Christmas. You don't have... APPLAUSE CHEERING CHEERING

CHEERING CHEERING CHEERING The defense rests. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've got no gays in this hen fight, so instead, just so you know I'd agree a bit about up and Richard Branson. Oh, that's good. Do you want to do it clocking?

No, no, no. So, just instead of me coming up with the defence here, I'm going to let our judgey olds 21 so her audience decides. If you think Athena and Fan Shaw and therefore Owen is in the right I'd like you to applaud now That was a pretty big avation there. That was a pretty big avation, but if you think Ben and Lou And his pregnant wife Sarah Ben and Lou. And his pregnant wife. Sarah. Sarah, she's got an name.

The most important balloon. Yeah, thank you. The most important balloon you got. I think I did. Yeah. Well, fair that one in mind. If you did Ben and Lou made the better case for the most important balloon Sarah herself.

She is the most important balloon. I like, I like to applaud now. So begrudging. Congratulations. There was at least eight people standing up there. It's amazing. Okay, well I think, I don't't know I think that has to go to the most important balloon of them all How do you feel how do you feel about the decision you're gonna have a balloonless Christmas this year? How do you feel about that man? Deflated. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's brilliant. That's brilliant.

That's brilliant. I genuinely often think we are probably the least funny people I've ever done. Now I don't know about you but I would say the best part of the festive season apart for my much-lauded twankey is the antissie. It's the antiseptic. So who? Who fancies about three and a half minutes of pure anticipation? Let's hear the hour equivalent of a damn good edging. It's the Quick Far round you go! The quick far-round fame, it you'll see that the joke is the intro But let's not hang around. It's the 12 days of Christmas. It's time to take a chance on a vagasinance. So let's not mess around That quick fire, baby A Merry Christmas

To you and you and you Oh, yes indeed Yes indeed. Yes, it is indeed time for the 10th annual Flatslam 12 Days of Christmas. Very, very exciting this and fresh from his smash hit sell out roll at the Macon of Comedy Festival in Wales. Tick the IRIS for tonight, it is of course producer Gwynne. festival in Wales, Tick the IRIS for tonight, it is of course producer Gwynn! He could do it, he's proved it, that was too courtless. As always all the answers have a, say it with me, very excellent, with the lyrics to the classic Christmas song, If you think you

have the right answer, shout out your first name. Tom and Athena, let's hear that now. Tom. Athena. Lovely stuff. Ben and Lou. Ben. What's going on? But what's going on? Okay. Right. So here's how it works, right? So basically, every year we do a version of the tw- I don't look at the answers. No, no, I don't. We do a version of the 12 days of Christmas, okay? That's how it works.

So we're going to sing the 12 days of Christmas. Yeah. But instead of singing a partridge in a pear tree, we see something that sounds a bit like it, which is the answer to the question. What? Watch, which might be... Yeah.

And we do watch, which just hear I can't remember. Probably watch with that. We do in watch. Ah, in cartridge. Exactly, that kind of thing. Yeah. So we've done like, we've done like, we've done like, we've done like, we've done like, we've done knowing outside.

It's so pretty. Yeah, it's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's not, it's not. It's so romantic. That's what it was thinking. It's a Christmas.

Yeah, it's a Christmas. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Get. I mean, half of you are going that's so it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first.

Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first.

Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first.

Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, it's a good first. Yeah, yeah, so it's like we've in the past we've done stuff like a large fridge on the M3 or a part in Godfather Part 3, that kind of stuff. Okay, so you're working out. Now that you've got to listen really hard to the questions because obviously they will unlock the answers. Here we go. I didn't mean that sounds patronising because it sounded... But I've had a rough night, guys. But it's starting off with a partridge in a pear tree. Yeah, go, let's give it...

In a pear tree, that's what we're after. Okay, here we go. Former president Barack has done a really massive piss. Okay, I'll sing that one more time for you. Former President Barack has done a really massive piss. So, think about this. Oh, that's Ben. What? Ben, we have Ben here. Obama has done a big wee.

It's a bomber did a big wee. That's what it all did. Yes. A bomber did a big wee. Two turtled ubs. Mr. Grant on his spelling game app has played a word that means push. Now, this is a tricky one. I'm not going to lie to you. You're going to have to really listen to those questions. So they will unlock the answers.

Mr. Grant on his spelling game app has played a word that means push. Athena. Athena. Athena. Azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz So the other team could the other team could potentially steal Tom by the other team I mean Tom Hugh wordles shove You Mr jobs has thrown lots of water over Mr. Hardell and Ms. Close. Mr Jobs has thrown lots of water over Mr. Hardell and Ms. Close.

Tom, Tom, oh, Steve's drenched glens. It's Steve drenched glens. Steve's drenched glens. You were the shock and above a dinner big win. And I guess the game now. Get out. Get out. Get out. That's it.

I can tell you now, we've played this with other people who've got it around sort of 11 or 12. So this is actually... This is good. This is good Okay, we're looking for four calling birds here, okay? The singer of it's oh so quiet is using some sexy terms in scrabble The singer of it's oh so quiet is using some sexy terms in Scrabble. Yes, yes. Yeah, Lou, you have it?

Well, Ben, Ben's got it. Okay, do you want to give it a go? Be your corny words. Courtney words You got it here we go. This is what we're all excited about This is your five gold rings here He's got a very cool name and he was the second man on the moon. I think Tom was first there. Oh, great.

You all saw him as a student, and sleds you a little shop. And your father did a big wee. You know, it's very rare in a gig situation that the audience has to bring the singer back onto the key. Where 200m go, don't worry mate, we'll help you out. We got there. We got there in the end.

We got there. Got there. We stuck a landing. Strong got there in the end. We got there. Got there. We stuck to landing. Strongest team in the room. Six quesilane. Here we go. Six quesilane. Run your tongue over the organ inside Liam from Taken's head. I'm going to need that again. I get it. I get it. Okay. Ready? Run your tongue over the organ inside Liam from Takens head. What's the original song? Six Geese Elaine we're looking for. Just that's a brain.

Yeah, two, two, three. No, Sanders. No, Sanders. You do it, you say you say. Nick Niesen's brain. It's right! Yes, it's right. Nice and spring. Nice and spring.

Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend.

Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend.

Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Nice old friend. Okay, this one, it's rare that you write a question that you wouldn't be able to get yourself. But this is Seven Sponsor Squimming. Here we go. The British rapper and singer behind such hits has hurt in me in 16 shots. It's practicing campanology. One more time please. One more time. Feel free to.

I'm going to Spotify for this one. I'm not saying this one's a swimming. We took a look at a female British rapper, the British rapper, and singing behind such hits as Hurt in Me and 16 shots. It's practicing Campanology. Oh. Oh. That woman.

What's her fucking name? Yeah, that's her. That's her. This... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steeep London's fucking campy, I don't know. Jesus! You know what you're... Steeep London's bell ringing.

It- It absolutely right! Steeep London! Dip! Wow! Steve Claude, all the joy of his fellow ringing Lisa's praying for all the joy Be all tall, be all the sweet sweet, sweet, sweet, you were a shot

and a father did a big wink Hey mate of a milking Leave a mark out of fire for Neil Ruddx Leathery dried beef snack LAUGHTER Go again? OK I'd like you to

Leave a mark out of fire for Neil Ruddx Leathery dried beef snack Tough with two vegans on the panel here, but we're talking about a leathery, dried beef snack. Neil, what's the main dish? We're looking for eight mates of milking here. Yeah, and it's, sorry. Tom, Tom, Tom.

Wait, Tom, Tom. Going for the audience here. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Great. Great. Great, great, great. Oh, set the bottom, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, And the mother's in a big way.

It's a real good value for money this year. It is, isn't it? It is. Did it go on? Here we go. Nine ladies dancing. OK. Oh, it's a tricky one, this one.

I'm not going to lie. Tricky for you. Tricky for me to sing. Tricky for you to answer. It's going to be a tricky one. I'm going to ask him again. This guy's good. Yeah, he's good. He's got he's got form Here we go nine ladies dancing Chris who plays Kirk in the Star Trek reboot has a six month old sleeping in a posh Yeah So I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it one more more time. Chris, who plays Kirk in the Star Trek reboot?

Has a sixth month old sleeping in a posh yacht? I think the audience might have it, actually. Hold tight, guys. Hold your fire. You are smarter and funnier than us people. Stablish that. Let us tick those. Let the green table catch up.

Can we last time they asked it? No, no, wait, wait, wait. I think they might have it. Pines, baby's glamping. It's correct! It's the radio! Pines, baby's glamping. Rain, praises, built on stone. On top of the ring, in the near-synth break, But old red,

Your horse only worth seas, Then spits you for a shot, And a barba dearly queen. 10 Lord Delieping, The British chap show host and star of cats Is making a noise like a robot. LAUGHTER 10 Lord Delieping. James Corden's bleep is... Show host and star of cats is making a noise like a robot. 10 Lord of Leaping.

James Corden's bleep is coming. It's coming. Yeah. Yeah. Happy day. Corden is bleeping eyes, baby. Sam being brave, brave, so still top-set. What's going on?

What's going on? We're making music, spray, bar the ring, In the eastern spring, From the cold spring, The old funny words See the treacherous, Let's use one shot And the barbers in your name Read the eleven-pipes piping The singer from R.E.M.

Is shooting from a concealed position Ben was first It's good stuff to be there. Michael Steipers, Steipers. He is a David Steipers. He's a David Steipers. He's a David Steipers. He's a David Steipers. He's a David Steipers.

He's a David Steipers. Braining, green, decent, brave, buzz, old rain Your song, it was a ski stretch, but it's a new one of shop And a mama did a big reading Alright folks, it's the final one It's gonna take some beating, because stripes like that. It was going to be... That's good stuff. Well, you're in luck, mate. It's an absolute topical cork.

I don't know if this is technically true, this is what this happened, just to cover myself legally. It's an imagined scenario. We don't know that Chris Pines' baby's gone glamping. It's just a bit of... LAUGHTER Just a bit of fun, isn't it? It's all a bit of fun.

I reckon a bomber has done a big win. Of course he has. You tell me off that inauguration, it lasted bloody ages. Can that be a race car afterwards? Here we go. 12 gold rings. Right. 12 gold rings. It's not 12 gold rings, though. We've done gold rings here we go. 12 gold rings. Right. 12 gold rings. It's not 12 gold rings though, we've done gold rings already. Nope.

12 gold rings. 11 gold rings. It's dead gold rings. 9 gold rings, 10 gold rings, 10 gold rings, 6 gold rings, 5 gold great, three go great, two go great And a go great Oh yeah Oh yeah It's snowing, it's snowing

It's... This is unbelievable It takes ages to do this, and that was more entertaining. Next year it's just we're cutting down 12 gold rings. Every answer. I don't know the number of fucking dwarves that Snow White hangs out with for this skull rings. Okay, here we go. 12 drummers drumming, give me that, give me that chord again please.

Here we go. The leader of the opposition is doing someone up the robin. What? Athena, Athena, Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena!

Athena! Yes! Thomas Bromance! Yes! Yes! Yes, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, this side, good James, Corans, David, my Traich, lights to a sun And a body of being women And Christmas! Happy Christmas, everybody! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Okay, 13 hens are laying, here we go. LAUGHTER Well, folks, that was it. That was our festive quick-fire round. There was just... Yes. There's just time for some festive blogs. Lou, what are you up to? Athena, what are you up to? You've got anything you'd like to plug to these... There's a Baying Audient here.

I'm writing a book without having to wait, because I'm really... No, I didn't cuddle club my podcast, and there'll be a love night of that. And... Do you tweet? By the way, do you tweet out there? No, I've backed out of that. I don't think it's very good in the end, but.

I don't know enough. All right. Athena. I've got a new podcast. It's called Why Does My Child Hate Me? And you. Is he ultra balloons? Yeah, no, not balloons, man.

What the fuck? Yeah. But it's not just for parents, it's for everyone. We're not one of those people. I'm like, I've been a parent that's great. It's not like this, seven billion of us. It's not a big deal. So that's what I've got going on.

Another stuff too, but that's the main thing. Thank you so much. Thanks to all of you guys for watching. Thanks for supporting our podcast year round. You know, it genuinely, it does mean the world to us that we can do shows like this, that people... You're reading after script does it does mean the world to us that we can do shows like this the people you're reading that 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 5 go rings, 4 go rings, 3 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go rings, 10 go Oh, dear! Wait a minute! You're reading that off a script! No!

No, if I can speak from the heart, this thing I wrote earlier on, it does, you know, do you mean through the world to be that we can put shows on like this and that you all come along? People travel, if a man just a, from Bristol, like the worst place in the world. Yeah. Like I said, the worst place in the world, they come here to London. But no, thank you all so much.

Give yourselves a round of applause for coming along. Hello, everyone. Watching at home on the live stream. As always, check out Papi's Patreon, Patreon.com before it's that's Papi's flat share, like subscribe, all that kind of stuff. Also, a huge big plug for Tom's new Christmas movie If you've not watched you already

I can't I cannot recommend it highly enough your Christmas or mine is available to stream now on Amazon Prime video It instant classic of the festive film genre in my ho ho ho so producer Emma What are the final scores very very exciting. What are the final scores? The audience have scored one point. Congratulations! Yes! That's an amazing score. OK.

Tom and Athena have 22 and a half. They do it in a half, yeah? Ben and Lou have 20 Oh! Oh! So Ben! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, We're all hanging the stockings on the wall, of course. We're all hanging the stockings on the wall. In fact, everyone, you get a stocking. You get a stocking.

And you get a stocking. I mean, even my dear mom. We all know she got a stocking, eh? Big, a big thank you to all guests. Lou Saadness and a thinker, bless you. We've been Pappies! See you next time on Flash S. Happy Spastic Flash S.

We've been working on the top party with special guests. I'm Dina Koveneu and Lou Saardner's. They've been producing weird on keys with devised by Pappies and Ben Walker. Telecom and entertainment season wait, Emma Corson, we've helped with Brimley Stowe's, it's been quite Emma Corson We help from Greenleaf's days with these white Emma Corson In fact, everyone can see the show Everyone who lives in the show to appear in Nicky 21st I want to ride the Blath around for the livestream

But most of all to you, for listening at home right now Thank you so much for being our CEO here at Ireland 2022 We'll be back in 2023 Come and spread your stand out as a secret news corruption Break us and the internet X-Grey Spass Cheers! Cheers!

Cheers! Well, there you go. Christmas has begun. We've got there. The Christmas season is truly upon us now that we've listened to the FlatShare slam-down Christmas special. Oh my god, it was so much fun. Thanks to everyone who came along to the show. And thanks, obviously thanks obviously of course to all of the people at 21 Soho and laughing

around. If you still want to get the live stream, if you thought, well that sounded like a lot of fun, I want to know how it looked, then get yourself to the live stream. We'll put a link to the live stream in the show notes. Is there anything else that needs to be mentioned at this juncture? If you haven't watched Tom's Christmas movie, don't forget to watch Tom's Christmas movie. Oh, yeah. It's a beauty. And huge breaking news. We have been nominated for a National Comedy Award

for Best Comedy Podcast. So if you want to vote for us, which would be nice, then get along to the website. We'll put a link in the show notes. It's the nationalcomedyawords.com and vote for Pappy's Flatshare as your favourite comedy podcast. Yes, please. Yeah, that would be great, wouldn't it? Imagine that being nominated for a... Because obviously last year we were robbed of best live podcasts at the podcast awards.

And second best, unfair best. Oh, yeah. live podcast at the podcast awards. I'm for John and Elis to do that really. No, it was cruel. It was cruel of them, but you know what, they're cruel men. But yeah, I've got a good feeling this year about the National Comedy Awards. I feel like we've got a good chance. We've got a good chance of taking the top spot.

It'd be great. Well, crucially public vote. So this is our time. This is our time to shine. Because most of our listeners and members of the public, there are, yeah, most of them are, they're a little bit of a fight out. There are a few private citizens,

but most of them are members of the public. So yeah, get onto the website that's in the show notes, vote, vote, vote, or find, I'm sure we'll put it on our Twitter and on our Facebook and on our Instagram, so please, please do vote and Yeah, have a wonderful time doing so. We know fools. We know you probably you've got a few Podcasts in your list, you know in your own loads, but just just go with us this time round. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, very comfortable. Just go with us for this one

Yeah, yeah, very good if we can I wonder if we could get a few other podcasts to let us come on and say go with ours. You know, I wonder if like if the drunk women's having crime or you know, some of the other, you know, herring, Bucsden, if they let us come on do a short, you know, two to three minute long advert. Just saying guys, look, we all know the podcast you're currently listening to is a good podcast, but go with us.

It's basically, when you get a leadership election going on, as we've seen many times recently, you know, it's when like a big hitter drops out and all of their supporters have to swing behind somebody, no, I'm just expecting. Yeah. And then, you know, Sunley, Liz Truss, and what went wrong there?

Nothing, so exactly, I mean, sorry, just because there are some big boys out there that, you know, the big hitters, consider maybe just, that's all just swing behind someone who shouldn't be there and see what happens. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, I tell you what will happen is, you know what will happen is,

because that gets televised, obviously, on Channel 4, the other National Community Months. Yes. So what will happen is because that gets televised obviously on channel 4 the other national yes yes so what will happen is you will be able to tune in to channel 4 and watch three men jockeying to Ziggy each other live live on television they're all in big weeks let's dangle that carrot if we win if you listen to dear get us to win we will ziggie live on channel for television He had everything to see Wastie wrote nowhere to put himself Right Yeah, anyway, yes, and thanks so much for for listening this year

It's been it's been wonderful. We've had a lovely time put out the podcast this year. We're going to be back again in February. Gonna take a little bit of time off. So a few weeks off of them, we'll be back in February with another flat-sheast stand-down. With the birthday girls, in fact. Birthday girls flat-sheast stand-down. They recorded it.

That's a great one. It was really fun. We recorded it at the Cheerful Illful Festival. So look forward to that at the start of Feb, but have a wonderful festive season. Look after yourselves. Have all the trips. Merry Christmas, but have a wonderful festive season. Look after yourselves, have all the trips. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas, Tom. Merry Christmas, Matthew. Merry Christmas, Ben. Merry Christmas, Ben. Merry Christmas, Martin. Merry Christmas, caution. Merry Christmas to you all. LAUGHTER

Today's episode was produced by Emma Corson. Merry Christmas, caution. Cheers. Cheers, everyone. Bye! Today's episode was produced by Emma Corson. Merry Christmas Corson! Cheers everyone!

Bye!