Paralyzed - Chapter 18: Downfall - Part 3/5

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Ever since Roland came to visit, Michelle can't stop dwelling on her past. The nightmares have come back with a vengeance. Luckily, her friend Tiffany is there to help take her mind off things. In Tampa, Rae has a serious talk with the Captain who fills her in on Roland and Kent's past. Later, Roland continuing her downward spiral, calls Rae and asks that she send more money. The way Roland has been acting lately, Rae knows it's going to her vices. Music:"Wounded" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/"trim" by Elderitch T'Challa of Nemesis Black @ reverbnation.com/nemesisblack Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Seven Lamb presents Paralyzed Chapter 18 Downfall Part 3 Another week had passed and still no answer from Roland. I wanted to know more about the bodies in Alaska, especially the other three people they found, the hunters.

I wanted to tell Roland about my newest nightmare before I was given my prescription because I hadn't had a nightmare in a while now. That's not to say I got a good night's sleep because I didn't. I still woke up feeling bad, empty, almost sick. Although it didn't help that my parents were also fighting more. The tension was unbearable.

It's one of the reasons why I got the job at Barrett's books. It got me out of the house, which was nice. Hey, Michelle, does it make me a bad friend if I am canceled tonight? Cancel? Yeah, I just got a text from Chris. He said tonight was his only free night, so I was wondering... Wait, did we have something planned? You forgot again, didn't you?

Um... Bowling. Oh, oh, right. You still don't remember? Nope, I do. I, um... I don't mind if you have to cancel, though. Really?

Yeah. You can still go. I know the rest of them are. If you want, you can meet them there. That's okay. They're your friends. But you know, Bree and Kennedy. Not really.

I've only met them, like, twice. It'd be awkward. Well, now I feel bad. No, don't. I do. Never mind. I'll text Chris and see if we can make it another night. No, don't, really.

But you're not going to go? After the accident, years went by and it was hard for me to find work. It was hard to me to do anything, really. I moved back in with my parents and became a hermit. It wasn't until two years ago that I was able to lay in this job and actually keep it. And it wasn't until this year that I actually made an effort to be friendly with someone. Her name is Tiffany. She was a little peppy for me, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. often tried to get me to go out with her friends, but while I didn't mind Tiffany, I didn't

really care for her friends. They were too obnoxious. Michelle? No, I'll be fine. Okay, if you really mean it. I do. Have fun with Chris. Okay, if you want, I can end things early tonight if you want to come over later. End things early? Yeah, so you can crash at my place. I'm not going to make you end your night early just so I can sleep on your kids. Ouch. Yeah, but you said things were bad the other night. I made the mistake about telling her about my parents.

We also had some deep conversations about my night terrors, which actually made me feel guilty. It made me think of the way I treated Shane. Sometimes they felt sick to my stomach for the things I said. The only solace coming from the fact that I think Erica would be proud of me in the way I was now. I didn't take Tiffany's friendship for granted, and I never would. Tiffany. Go out, have fun, get laid. Nah, I'm on my period, so I'll just tease him a bit.

Make him feel bad for making me cancel on bowling night. Okay. And seriously, if you need a place to crash, call me. Thank you. Sir? When's the last time you checked on Julia? I haven't called her personally, but I've checked in with Detective Hubert. And?

And nothing. Nothing since she checked herself into the hospital. That's right. Damn. No offense, Captain, but I think you're... You're going to have to try a little harder if you want to find Roland. I felt bad hiding things from the captain, but there was no other choice. No, no, she's definitely gotten a hold of that girl at some point.

You think? Come on, Ray. You know Roland. It'd be the same shit as with David Summers. I don't think that's true. No? No. Roland needed Summers.

She doesn't need Julia. Are we sure about that? No, I'm not sure about anything, but if she needed Julia, I think we would know. Yeah, you're probably right. It's just Roland doesn't quit and she doesn't let go. It's a blessing and a curse, really. It's what made her a good cop, and this is what made me put up with her bullshit. I wish I could say the same.

I know you two drifted apart after her reassignment. I hope you don't hold a grudge against me for that. Never did. Kent was good for her. That's why I never did. Well, I'm glad about that. It means a lot. Captain, is there something else you want to talk about?

I think I fucked up, Ray. How so? What are you on right now? Just finished filing witness reports. Anything else? No. More? Already left for the day.

Good. Let's go grab a drink. I'll drive. We were at a small hole-in-the-wall lounge with upper-class drunks and subpar jazz. For some reason, it was the captain's favorite place. Did I ever tell you why I reassigned Roland? Why I thought her and Kent made a, for lack of a better word, better team? No, sir, but I assume it had some. something to do with the fact that he'd been in the force a long time. Him and Herzog.

When Herzog retired, I felt like it was time to mix things up. And you thought Kent was good for Roland? Right. Does that mean you thought I was good for more? Yeah, actually. Thank you for that. Listen, more will come around. He's new. You know how that is.

Not that new. You'll be fine. Was there somewhere you were. going with this captain i put roland with kent because kent kent knew exactly what roland was going through how so he had some darkness to overcome in his past it wasn't easy and it took a long time but he got there i never heard anything about that kent kept everything outside of being a queer to himself i'm surprised he'd want that out he didn't but when it came out he embraced it Much to the chagrin of people around him.

You mean his significant other? No, I mean more than that. Care to elaborate? No, not at this time. So, you're saying Kent had some darkness to overcome, related to his sexual identity? Partly, I'm sure. His family didn't take to the news well,

and I'm sure he felt alone. He was knee-deep in vices. It wasn't until I caught him in evidence sampling some of the recent Hall that I knew there was a serious problem. How long ago was that? Before you, before Roland. And? And it took some time, but he came around.

He was a good cop. He was a good person deep down. I could tell. So he made a miraculous recovery and became the icon for which all others should be judged? It was far from miraculous. It took a lot of time and effort and help. From you? I can't take all the credit.

Paul? Paul was Kent's significant other. For a time, Paul was all he had. I gotta say, Captain, Kenton must have been a really special guy for you to keep him around. To help. He was. Okay, Cap, so we came down here to discuss Kent's past, or is there... I talked to Casey. He was talking about the beat cop who fed Roland information about Joel Cantors when Roland took David.

to Layden Falls. Something I still wanted to talk to Roland about. Why would she involve someone else? Especially someone like Casey? Fuck. I know you talk to her. You do? Yeah. For a fleeting moment, I thought he met Roland, but then I realized he was still talking about Casey. Oh, what did she say to you? She's nervous. Withheld information from the Fed, so why wouldn't she be? supposed to keep that to herself. That's what you told her. Yeah. Why?

I didn't want the feds coming through again. Why, Ray? Because it's a waste of time. It's bullshit. They think they can find her that someone's hiding her, but they have no idea what's really going on. And you do? I know that Roland didn't kill those people. Have you talked to her? Our eyes met, and for the first time since we arrived, I was nervous.

I took another sip of my drink as my mind raced. Have you? No. You trying to protect her? From you? From everyone. The captain took a sip of his drink as we sat in awkward silence. Ray, if you've been in touch, fine, because I know she's out there trying to solve this bullshit.

Trying to figure things out, connect the pieces of the puzzle. Not long before she took off her laden, she came to my house. When she was put on leave Yes, I talked to her I know where her mind is at and I feel... Captain... And I feel like it's my fault. What do you mean?

This is all my fault. I don't understand. He took another sip of his drink. His hand noticeably shaky. I let Kent talk me into helping Barnes and investigating the Sanders case. Then he disappears and I don't believe Roland's story. I disregarded her because of her past.

I was worried how it would look for the precinct. Then I put her on administrative leave, and days later she kidnaps that kid. She did warn me. About what? Then step away from it. Step away from work, and take some time for yourself. I know you're telling me this because you're worried I may go down the same path as before. But taking away my job and forcing me to sit home alone.

daydreaming about Kent and that night about that woman. Captain, that's going to do more harm than good. Roland. Have a good night. That's not on you, Captain. None of it is. You couldn't predict all of this would happen. No, maybe not. But there's a chance if Roland does pop up and she does something else that warrants news cameras,

I'll be out of a job. My preventative measures backfiring. That won't be on you? I don't care, Ray. Either way, but I do care about Roland. So if you're still in contact with her, tell her I'm worried about her. Because ever since Layden, I've had a recurring dream where I slowly watch her deteriorating in front of me. But if Kent can bounce back, so can she.

Do you think we'll ever see Kent again? That's another recurring dream I have. Why did you let Kent and Roland take on the Patricia Sanders case? We'll save that for another time. I wondered how long I could keep this up. The captain knew I was, or at least had been, in touch with Roland, and his worries mirrored Jake's and my own. Holy shit.

And as if I summoned her, Roland was calling. I've been calling. Roland? What the hell? Sorry, Ray. I've been calling. I know. Jake, too. I know.

Well, let me guess, you've been busy? Yes, but also, he keeps visiting me. Who? David. Shit, Roland... He mentioned names. Names? Yeah.

What kind of names? Like Sefton's notebook? notebook and more okay well give me the names and i'll look them up i i don't remember um what i don't remember i think one of the names i think it was sheila i think that was the first why don't you remember roland ray i need to ask favor i need you to send more uh money please Are you? I've been sleeping my car. You're still in Seattle?

No, but I'm still in the state. How much do I have left? Of your own money? Yeah. You don't. What? You don't, Roland. Oh.

Where did all the money go, Roland? What do you mean? To rooms and gas and food? That's all? To the car and to the trip north. That's it. You wouldn't lie to me, would you? Ray, are you going to send me money or not?

I can't do shit sleeping in my car on the side of the road. I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean that. I didn't. I'm sorry. Ray, you there? I'll send you money, Roland, but it better go to necessities. It will.

Fine. I am still researching. So am I. So is Jake. Okay. Um, when can you send the money? Tomorrow. You need anything else? No. Can I ask a question, Roland? I'm not using.

It's not about that. When you went to Layden, you asked Casey to make some calls for you. Set a meeting up with Joel Cantors? Yeah. Why did you call Casey and not me? I did. I called your office phone, but then I hung up. I decided against it. I don't want to involve you. But it was okay involving Casey.

Because I knew if anything happened, things would fall on you and the captain first. Well, Casey's nervous about the FBI now. They talked to everyone. What did she say? Nothing, but she did tell the captain. And what did he say? He blames himself for all of this. For you and Kent. He thinks it's all his fault. Well, it's not. That's how he feels.

So if you want to clear him out of this whole mess, maybe it's time you stop fucking lying to me and get your head straight. Jake told me about the booze and pills. I'm sure that's where the money is going. It's not. I don't believe you. Are you going to send me money or not? Ugh.

I'm still working on this. Okay? I am. I hope that's true. I'll send money, but if you see David again, ask him about those names, Roland, because Jake's having a hard time connecting them. And so am I.

I hung up on her and threw my phone into the passenger seat. Jake was right about her. Fucking hell, Roland. You just made me admit Jake was right about something. I looked over to my phone to see a text from Roland. It was the address of a post office. I'll get right on that. All I'm saying is if it becomes a possibility, we'll have to move.

So we uproot everything on a possibility? If it comes to fruition, we do. Unless you want to be fucking homeless. That's a lot of bullshit. We already moved twice in the past decade, and I don't want to move out of the city. Yeah, well, we will. You don't even consider Michelle's feelings. Don't drag me into this. It's a lot of pressure. She's working now.

Mom, we're right here. Well, tell him. Tell him what. You want to move? No. Not to fucking Nebraska. Well, I'm not asking. She's almost 30.

If she doesn't want to move, she doesn't have to. Again, I'm right here. Another argument around the dinner table. This is why I usually ate in my room. Should have gone bowling. Damn it, Tiff. I think it's complete bullshit. You don't even consider your family.

And I think it's complete bullshit. You can't understand where I'm coming from. Especially when I'm the only one paying bills. Really? I hope. Huh, barely. Don't come down on her. I'm done.

See what you're doing, Adrian? Sit down, Michelle. I don't want to hear this. Michelle. Let her go. I wasn't hungry anymore. Don't worry. I'll put your dishes in the sink.

Fuck! All I ask for is some goddamn support. But you bring this up now? Every damn move is more strain on us. I know you feel it, and after Michelle's... It's been years. And maybe a change of scenery, a completely new area,

will be good for her. It's not like she can't get a job somewhere else. She works at a fucking bookstore. It's something. She finally finds something, and you want to strip that from her? What, finally? She's been there a long time, and life doesn't get easier, Sophie.

She doesn't have to come with us. I don't have to go either. The hell you don't. Okay, well, looked like tonight would be another fight, so I was debating about calling Tiffany. I just want to ruin her date, though. Or maybe I should just go to sleep. It won't work. I jumped up, startled.

What the fuck? Michelle, those pebbles won't work. Sleep will always be hard to come by. Roger. In the darkness of the corner, he stood. I could just barely see the outline of his body, standing still. If you take them now, You'll just have to take them again tomorrow, and again the next day.

I did before. Then you stopped. Why did you stop? I don't know. You still had nightmares. They were more manageable after... After what? After more time passed.

He still stood in the shadows. His face mostly covered. but I could tell by his sharp jaw and shaggy hair. It was definitely him. But how? Am I dreaming now? No. I have to be. You aren't.

But you can't be here. Because Roger's dead. Yes. You should have died too. On that ship, Michelle. You were supposed to die. What? Shane was supposed to kill you.

Shane. What happened to them? To Erika and the others. They died. Like they were supposed to. I don't want to die. But you do, Sheph. You wanted to die ever since washing ashore.

Remember? The feelings you have. You wanted to die. Living's been too hard. I know. Then why prolong the pain? Why drag it out? Why?

Wait. I looked down at the bottle in my hand. You don't have to feel pain. I tried my hardest to hold back my tears. Roger I miss you I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry for everything for all the things I said and did I wish you were still around I am around I am right here

Roger is right here I didn't think I had it in me I've thought about it About making the pain go away Maybe it was time I uncapped the bottle What would my parents think Would my dad even really care

It wouldn't be a burden anymore And my job could easily replace me. That's for my friends. What friends, Michelle? You don't have any friends because you're an asshole. Remember? You've always been an asshole. No, no, no. No. I had a handful. I was just about to toss them back when my phone went off. It was Tiffany Hello Hey girl, what's you doing?

What? What are you doing? Still down for bowling? I'm heading there now and I can swing by and pick you up. What happened to the date? He's coming with. Apparently, he's a great bowler and he wants to impress me with his technique.

So come on, get ready. Okay. Good. Be there in five. I lowered the phone and stared at the corner of the room, but Roger was gone. All the pills still rested in my hand. I slowly fed them back into the bottle. I wanted to break down and cry, but instead, I wiped the one lone tear sliding down my cheek and wished myself awake. But it didn't happen.

because I wasn't sleeping. That wasn't a dream. So instead, I got dressed and waited for Tiffany to pick me up and hoped Roger wouldn't visit me again tonight. Paralyzed, written by Robert M. Lamb. Edited by Rose Hayes. Starring, Amy Lurray as Roland, Catabelle as Ray, Jack Austin as Jake, Ariel Hack as Michelle, Brian Messick, as Captain Hiltz, Mitchell Beck, as Ansel, Mark Koroftus, as Oliver, Rachel Stidham, as Mayor, Brandon Levine, as Ed, co-starring, Corey Pettettit, Aud Andrews, Ashley Brooks, Ashley Brooks, Pond. Tomstead, Adam Ibin, Christina Lewis, Dennis Caldwell, Richard Ashwell, Lindsay Riley, Walter Riddle, Alexander Dottie, Sheila Morris, Dylan Whitehead, Allie Hocom, and Robert M. Lamb as David.

Music provided by Kevin McLeod of Incompetec.com. Eldorich Tachala of Nemesis Black at ReverbNation.com slash Nemesis Black. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate and review. Visit 7LAM.com for more audio dramas such as this one. Thank you. Thank you.