Pardon My Take - 2X SB Champ Kyle Van Noy + Hank Has To Buy A Cat

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

John Elway has been cancelled. He keeps getting average to below average QB's and Joe Flacco is the next in line (2:27 - 15:30). NBA All Star Weekend (15:30 - 20:22). PFT tries to take away Hank's Duke fandom and now Hank might have to buy a Cat (20:22 - 30:41). 2X Super Bowl Champion Kyle Van Noy joins the show and talks about the Super Bowl Gameplan, what the transition from Detroit to New England was like, soaking, and Ernie Adams the silent genius (30:41 - 58:20). Segments include PR 101 for the Dog Show controversy, Antonio Brown needs to go somewhere, trouble in paradise Roger Goodell, just stop tweeting Kirk Cousins and some behind the scenes FAQ You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have two-time Super Bowl champion Kyle Van Noy in studio. Good talk with him. We tried to explain to him why Max Kalerman actually won the Super Bowl, more than anyone else. He actually gave some good insight into what happened during the game.

And also what happened when you got traded from the Lions to the Patriots and why the Patriots are so successful. Little Ernie Adams talk, good interview with him. Also if you write for a major publication, is he going to go to the White House this year to celebrate? He tells us, get your clicks. Tune in. We have the Flacco trade to Denver.

We have a very contentious segment. We have unnamed. We have FAQs and a little bit of everything. We got some more stuff, maybe some, we didn't even put down the NBA All-Star game. I'm canceling it. Who cares? Okay, it's time to talk about the cash card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store for a reason.

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We appreciate it. Don't forget to subscribe because we're going to keep releasing some fun stuff on there. Today is Friday, February 15th, and I'm canceling John L. Way. Thank you for doing that. John L. Way has been canceled. Now, the reason why PFT just said thank you, I told him beforehand we were going to cancel John L. Way on this podcast, and I'm doing it because John L. Way is obsessed with height. He is obsessed with height.

He is not everything. He is traded for Joe Flacco. John L. Way is track record with quarterbacks. Now, everyone will say that it's pretty bad, and it is, and we're going to get to that. Peyton Manning, 6'5", Brock Osweiler, 6'7", Paxton Lynch, 6'7", Case Keenum, 6'1". He was like, hey, maybe I'll try a brunette for a second. And then he's like, you know what? It didn't work out.

Back to Joe Flacco, 6'6". John L. Way will not hear of anything unless you are a tall, rocket arm quarterback. And guess what? He's been canceled. What was that looking? Rocket arm? Yeah, Flacco's got a rocket arm. He had a rocket arm at one point.

No, he still has an arm. He just doesn't know where to throw it. Are we talking about Flacco or L. Way? Flacco. Yeah, Flacco's got, what do you mean he doesn't have a rocket arm? He doesn't have a rocket arm. Come on, he's like 40 years old. No, and plus he's getting up in that thin air.

Okay, so that's going to help him out. Let's not get off track. Let's not get off track. When you're that tall, it's like all the air around you is thin anyway. We have to get to Flacco, but first we're going to cancel John L. Way. Yes. Thank you for doing that. Height is not everything.

Yes. You're absolutely spot on with the comparison towards like he has a type that he goes after. Case Kingdom is just a short version of Joe Flacco. So he's going back to the one that the one he danced with was a dance with the one that brought you. That brought you? Yep. Don't change horses in midstream.

That's actually more apropos for John L. Way because he looks like Mr. Ed. Yeah, dancing with the one that brought you is great because it's such an awesome cliche when you're just like, I don't know, like just keep playing that guy, even though he's probably going to fuck up in the playoffs. He's a girl that's like, oh, I only want to date guys that are six foot five and over and he hasn't figured this out yet, but every guy that's over six feet five is an asshole. Okay. Yes.

Yeah. Unless they play a professional sport and still usually actually then cancels everything every guy over six foot five except for Blake. Don't I know I'm not over six foot. But I know I'm not including our AWL short because you have don't do that and Spencer Hoss and Spencer Hoss, there's a lot of people that you've just Sam Decker and Sam Decker. Okay. Want to keep going?

They're in Blake Griffin especially. Okay. I'll tell his Blake Portals. We'll have to check that out. Yeah. We'll have to check it out. Put either way. John L. Way has been canceled.

He cannot find a quarterback. Now there's a couple of reasons why we're canceling John L. Way. The first is Mike Francesa agreed with this move and that is a descend. So put this audio in Hank. If you're Denver, do you think L. Way thinks that they can piece together a playoff run with Flacco? I think L. Way knows that he can win with Flacco and you know what? The people who, and for some reason the internet hates Flacco, okay, but that's a bunch of

16 year olds that don't know anything about football. The bottom line is the guy who just drafted for him, those little bit about playing, the guy who just traded for him, those little bit about playing quarterback in the NFL. He was, he was okay at it. Okay. I can tell those guys who never saw him play that he wasn't okay at it. He was all, one of the all time greats at it. So when he wants to pick a quarterback, I'd pay attention.

He knows what a quarterback looks like back after this. Mike Francesa basically ignoring all of the past like five years, six years of NFL history and John L. Way saying John L. Way played the position. He knows what he's doing. If he picks a quarterback, you better pay attention. The only quarterback he hit on was Peyton Manning. Right. He was almost lucky too, because at the time Peyton Manning didn't have any feeling at

all in his hand. Well, okay. So let's go back to that. He was throwing the, he was using his hand to throw the stranger around. John L. Way did put together a Super Bowl team. We're not going to say, we're like, he, he has been around and he made all those changes after he went and got to Marcus Ware and TJ Ward and all these guys after they lost to Seahawks.

But John L. Way doesn't get credit for Peyton Manning in terms of an out and analysis standpoint. He gets credit that he was able to woo Peyton Manning to Denver. But if you remember, everyone wanted Peyton Manning. Yeah. The Cardinals, the Titans, like all these teams, no one was like, is Peyton Manning going to make it in the NFL? No. Everyone knew that Peyton Manning still had a couple of years left.

John L. Way just successfully got him today. John L. Way is a salesman. Right. You remember how much he hated Tim Tebow? That was actually the best. If you remember, because he took over kind of after Tebow was already a thing in Denver. That was actually the last time he accurately analyzed a quarterback. Yeah.

And it was like, I'm getting ready. But he hated it so much when Tim Tebow would win a game. He would be up in like, they'd show him wearing his two gloves like an assassin up in the press box. Just like, you know, when a tennis player accidentally wins a point by like hitting the ball into the net and it bounces over and gets lucky and you stick your racket up. Shooters bounce. Yeah.

They would win a game by like six points because Tebow fumbled a ball, picked up the fumble and ran it for a touchdown or something stupid. Well, Mary and Barbara didn't, you know, he went out of bounds. Yeah. He just like stick his hand up and be like, sorry, sorry guys. We won that one. I know it was lucky. My bad.

Tebow Manning was a real thing. People don't give John Elway enough shit about Paxton Lynch. We had this discussion. Paxton Lynch, I'm going to say it right now is the most unremarkable first round quarterback that has ever been drafted in the past 25 years in terms of no one even knows if Paxton Lynch is good or not because he only played four games. He's bad. I'm just, I'm going to save you some time.

He's bad. I know you bet on him in that bowl game at Memphis. I know that's where you were going to go with that. No, I wasn't, but I know he's bad. He is bad and he's got the facial hair of like Johnny Depp trying to play a pirate of the Caribbean when he's 70 years old. That's what Paxton Lynch's face looks like. He never should have been drafted in the first round.

Jerry Jones got saved by his brother-in-law who like slipped a Mickey into his Johnny Walker blue just to drug his dad and be like, hey, we're not taking him. We're not going to take, well, Johnny Manning's always another case. I think they ended up taking Dak instead of Paxton. Right. And you made a good point because Paxton Lynch, the only thing you can remember from him is that he looked like a high school drug dealer on his draft night with the glasses. He was in a bowling alley.

He had a weird mustache. Paxton Lynch is the most unremarkable first rounder that we've had since I went back. Okay. We were discussing this and I'm talking, I'm not talking about worse because there've been some very bad ones. I'm talking about a guy that you will soon just forget even existed. So I went all the way back to 1994. He's Shuler is the name that came up there.

22 games started. He started 22 games. Now a congressperson. Jim Drunkenmiller. That is the most unremarkable first round pick. He started one single game. He was Steve Young's supposed to be Steve Young's heir apparent in San Francisco. Cade Mcnown was terrible, but everyone knew he was terribly sort of 15 games for the Bears.

Patrick Ramsey started 24 games. I still feel like Patrick Ramsey could just go out there and sling the ball. Right. He had a gun. Yeah. He was also part of seasons. You know what I mean? Like you were like, oh, he's on that team.

Shuler is the other name we came up with. 42 games started and he played. He had an actual shot with the Ravens. Yeah. But the thing about him is he dated Tara Reed. So he has like that in his background. Yep. Whereas these other guys, it's like nobody.

Here's a fun stat. How many games do you think Brady Quinn started? Oh, 18. 20. Okay. So even Brady Quinn, I feel like we didn't get to see enough of that fuckable spiral at the next level, but you knew that you knew enough to say Brady Quinn's not the guy. Paxson Lynch.

It's like I've already downgraded him in my mind. In the back of my head, I'm like, he was a fourth round pick. Right. Right. Because he didn't play at a big school and he played four games in the NFL. You go back through the history like E.J. Manual. I still know E.J.

Manual. Like I know I can visualize E.J. Manual. I can't even visualize Paxson Lynch playing a game. I called him B.J. Manual because he sucked. Yeah. That's actually good.

So thank you. Then J.P. Loisman. He brought his name up. He's another one I had downgraded. I thought he was a fourth round or two. He went back into the take machine. I thought J.P.

Loisman was going to be pretty good. You got swayed by that documentary they did on him where they followed him from hotel room to hotel room. Yeah. And he came out and said, he's like, I see myself as like a Bret Favre type quarterback. Which if you're going into the NFL, here's a little pro tip for all you guys getting ready for your combine interviews. Don't say that you envision yourself as a Bret Favre because all that means as a rookie

is like, I can see myself throwing 30 interceptions this year. Yeah. And maybe painkillers. And maybe taking a picture of my dick. Yeah. We even know who he is. He's a prototypical size quarterback. Christian Ponder.

We know that name for other reasons. Yeah. So you go down the list and there's a bunch of guys who are like, I will at least remember something from his career. Pax and Lynch, we will not remember a single thing from his NFL career. I like to have fun with it and say that Christian Ponder is just, that's Tim Tebow Spank Bank. Yes. There you go.

Get it? Well, he's engaged now. So he's having sex. Well, no, not yet. Ish, I said. It's mouth stuff. Yeah. Mouth stuff and dry humping.

Last piece of why can't cancelling John L. Wayne. This is not canceling John L. Wayne, the quarterback. He's probably the third best quarterback of all time, third or fourth. Yeah. I mean, that sounds like a Mount Rushmore debate waiting to happen. We can do that this summer.

I'm canceling him has a GM and it's finally gone to my last point. He traded for Joe Flacco and Joe Flacco fucking stinks. I don't think he stinks just yet. This is where we will find out. This is where we will take the different paths. This is the year where we find out if Joe Flacco is good or if he's just a product of that awesome Baltimore offensive system that's been so good throughout the years. Joe, oh, you're going to blame the system?

Yeah, the system. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, who knows? Who knows? He'll get out and Denver in the thin air. Everything's a little bit different there. He's got a great defense now and Denver never had that in Baltimore, so we'll get to see

what happens now that he's in a system that suits his strengths. Joe Flacco is the most remarkably average quarterback of all time. That's fine. There will be a lesson to all you youngsters at home. If you are in a prominent position and you're perfectly average at it, people think that you're very good and they'll give you a contract that you have to have two generals or joint chief of staffs turn a key at the same time just to sign it. Well, Joe Flacco is actually a good case on what everyone should aspire to be.

It's be really, really average your whole life, but have one moment that just is incredible. That way everyone will always say, but you remember that guy? John L. Wade definitely did this trade in part because he said somewhere deep in there is 11 touchdown, zero interception, playoff, Joe Flacco. He remembers the play against Raheem Moore in Denver. Right. Yeah. So he's like, that could happen again.

Yeah. It's like if you use a little, how do you say, like a male supplements at one point in your dating career, the girl's going to be like, I remember that one night. That one night. That stud, the guy lasted finally longer than two minutes. He could do it again. Yep. I'll keep giving him another shot.

I'd rather be the average guy who had one incredible moment than the guy that's like, you know, above average, but never reached that one incredible moment. Like having a really good career, but never getting that one playoff run where everyone's like, holy shit. That's what it is right there. I think it also, it hurts some of these tall quarterbacks being that tall because you have so many, the expectations are so much higher, just the taller that you are. So in general, live life at five nine, just even if you're not five nine, have the five

nine mentality. That's the new Mamba mentality. The, the, uh, I actually forgot the final point was that it was leaked that they looked at Nick Foles as well and Joe Flacco played under centermore. Yeah. It's 2019. The Broncos are now, they're, they're getting quarterbacks based on what exactly they want to run.

Not going to fix any, not going to change anything, adapt anything to the quarterback they bring in. No, they're going to play under center. They're going to play pro style, uh, run the ball, eye formation. Let's do it. Yeah. They're, they don't trust Nick Foles because you can't win a Super Bowl with a quarterback that doesn't sit his ass under center.

You know what's great is like Joe Flacco, yes, he does play a lot under center, but he's also probably the least mobile quarterback in the history of the Eastern Seaboard. And well, besides maybe Biden left, which no Eli Manning Eli Manning, uh, I don't know. Unless you count when he's ability of sacking yourself, then that is, then I would take him out. You're mistaking Eli Manning's coordination when he runs for being immobile because I think as the crow flies, Oh, he's, but he's a terrible athlete.

I think he's fat. In terms of like running, he looks like he's a terrible athlete. No, he is a very bad athlete. Count the rings. Yeah. Okay. Count the rings. How many, how many rings?

Two rings. There you go. Eli Manning, Joe Flacco, the exact same guy. Average and then a couple of moments where they have, where they just shine brighter than everyone else. Yeah. But thank you for canceling John Owe. Say what you want about it.

He, he likes a quarterback that can look him in the eye after he throws an interception. Yes. Uh, all right. Let's clean up some business before we get to Kyle Van Noyte. First up, I wanted to ask, uh, do we care about the NBA All-Star break? Who cares? Who cares? I took a look at the roster for the two teams.

What was, what was Yannis thinking? How did this happen? Well, he got lost in, uh, he actually, he John Elwayed himself, didn't he? Then he just got big guys. He got lost. No, well, he has Steph Curry. Oh, okay. Besides that they're, well, he drafted a lot of European guys.

That's interesting. Um, I guess, well, he is European. Yes. So he, he wanted people that could speak the language with him. Uh, LeBron James has Kevin Durant, Kyrie, Kawhi, and James Harden as his player. So they're going to give up approximately, um, 400 points, but they'll score 405. LeBron's in the All-Star game. Oh yeah.

That's right. Cause he reminded everyone when he was like, my teammates, they get a little more time off than me. Did you, did you see after, after the last Lakers game, he was spotted leaving the locker room with two bottles of wine. Oh my God. He's got a problem. We will help him.

He's got a problem. If you see something, say something, this All-Star weekend. Yeah. So instead of Michael, Michael's secret stuff, it's just going to be LeBron holding just like a bag of Franzia. Yes. Pretty much. I, the dunk contest don't really care anymore.

The three-point contest kind of still cool. You know what they need to do? Bring back the dunk contest. They need to have everyone, uh, on the sidelines, get the old school camcorders. Yeah. Then I will watch for that to watch like LeBron freak out with a huge camcorder on his, on his shoulder. Like when Kevin Garnett and AI and all those guys back in the day, it was like the slam

dunk contest and then Super Bowl week when the teams would show up. Those were the two big occasions where players would bring their own camcorders that they would videotape. Also, just bring, give, or do they still give out signs to everybody in attendance so they can hold up like the nine or the 10? Yes. Here's the big problem with the dunk contest. The judges, I feel like, have participated in the Pussification of America.

So they'll give out nines and tens to dunks that I could do in 2K. Yes. You touched rim once. I did touch rim. I hung on the rim once. Nine foot hoop. Nine foot hoop. Full size hoop.

No, it was a full size hoop. Here's an idea that just popped in my head. Ready for this? We should, to make the dunk contest better before the dunk contest, they should do a contest oldest guy that can dunk. So oldest NBA player that can still dunk. I like, who do you think it would be? Well, no, no, let's even include the all time greats.

Like I want to know who, like all the retired guys, who have gotten dunked. No, I know. Do you think Karim can still dunk? Yeah, I think he can. His arms are so long. He's like Dalsim. And then they just keep bringing up the height and see who can dunk at the highest, like the oldest.

And then you get a couple funny injuries, like watching Charles Barkley try to dunk right now would be so funny. Oh yeah. His legs would explode. Yeah. Ooh, get Boban in there. Boban is a hilarious, hilarious person to watch. If he was in the dunk contest, I would 100% watch.

When Boban- That would actually be a great bit. If he just did the dunk contest and just didn't jump for all the dunks, people would go nuts. Yeah. And he just like went through his legs, but didn't jump. And just like threw it off the backboard to himself and just dropped it in. They would go nuts.

David Stern, if you're listening. That would be a great. Put Boban in. Yeah. Put Boban in the dunk contest. So yeah. I don't know. We're going to watch the All-Star game on Sunday night.

We'll do the show after it. So we'll have a recap of it. But I just, I, I, I feel like MLB is the only All-Star game that really like gets the juices falling now. And that one doesn't even matter anymore, right? It doesn't matter anymore, but at least still you can't half-ass baseball. Like you, you still have to, a pitcher is still going to throw their stuff. You know what I mean?

Pro Bowl, NHL, NBA, everyone's just like going through the motions, not trying to get hurt. I hope that James Harden takes over this game like he does a regular season game where he just doesn't pass the ball at all to his teammates and he tries to score. He could probably score 200 points in the All-Star game. Yeah. And just be a dickhead to everybody. Step back. That's what I hope he does.

James Harden passes. He doesn't get passed too. And he doesn't, well he doesn't shoot after he gets passed to him because he's a good passer. He's a capitalist and he doesn't respect handouts from people. I mean, this is recency bias I was watching the game last night, but he does not pass the ball. Well, he's a decent passer.

He has the ability to pass when he wants to. If he needs, but he knows how to pass the ball. Yes. Gun to his head. He will pass the ball. I'm looking it up right now. James Harden assists. He's, oh dude, he's averaging 7.7 assists a game.

He passes the ball. I was right. It's just stuck with my gut there. I just hope he doesn't pass in this game. I hope he just shoots every shot. Yeah. He just demands the ball. Or if he gets passed to, make sure he dribbles enough so that no one else can get assist.

What are the rules about, like when, when does it not become an assist anymore? It's one gather step, one Euro step, one behind the back dribble, and then one more gather step. Okay. And it's not an assist. And then Blake Griffin looks at you and, and his face explodes because he's never seen a teammate take more than four steps without their ankle getting injured. Correct.

I'm actually going to save my stuff for Monday, the jury duty update. Let's do the contentious thing we need to do. Yes. Yeah. I can't do this, but Hank, I'm taking Duke basketball away from you. You can't have Duke basketball. Why not? You can't have it because you're a Patriots fan, congrats on all your success.

You're a Red Sox fan, congrats on all your success. You're a Bruins fan, congrats on some success in the past that you got to see. You're a fan of all good teams. You can't also have Duke basketball. I can't have Hank rubbing just championship after championship in my face. It's not my fault that I grew up in the Boston area, so I'm a fan of those teams. I didn't choose those teams randomly, and my dad went to Duke, so I grew up and was raised a big Duke fan before I really understood what necessarily Duke and Duke fandom stood

for. Once I did, I kind of realized that it was ironic, if you will, that a person of my wits was a Duke fan, but it is what it is, and I can't change the way I grew up. Don't talk. First of all, I don't want you putting yourself down. Can I? We build each other up on this show. That's not what I have a problem with.

It was like, once I was in high school, I was like, oh, they're like college, college cocks. I want to go to Duke. People forget Harry complied for Duke. Your guidance counselor shows you the criteria of, no, I didn't apply to Duke. I was like three GPA points away. He went to UNH, the Duke of the Northeast. I actually...

SNHU. Let me get a compromise. I'm going to try to find a compromise here, because Hank is a true Duke fan. This all came up because we were watching the game on Tuesday night when Duke came back from 22 points down, and Zion is fucking ridiculous. He is going to change a franchise. He is an unbelievable player. And I'm...

The next... Don't. It's the fixes in for the next. Please don't. The problem with Hank's Duke fandom is that he enjoys the wins, but he doesn't take the losses the same way as he takes other losses. So we need to find a way to punish him for the losses. I've seen Duke lose, and it's not like you're not upset.

You're definitely upset, but it's not the same as when the Patriots lose. I think we need to kill you if Duke doesn't win the title this year. That's what we've got to do. But I have seen so many wins of all my teams so often in the last like five, ten years that it's just not the same. And that's fucked up to say. And people are going to be like, you're a fucking asshole, like fuck you. No, I get it.

I've been saying that for the last ten years. When you win so much for so long, losses don't become as bad. Again, I know how bad that sounds, but that is just the honest to God truth. If Duke doesn't win the title this year, I think you should have to live with six goats in your apartment for a week. I'll make some type of Duke bed. I'll get I'll get I'm just spitballing here. I'll make it interesting.

Live animals. Yeah, either live animals or over the summertime, Hank has to wear short shorts every day. If Duke doesn't win, we get to release four snakes in your apartment without you knowing where we put them. How about this four animals of our choosing? Yes, a single hornet. One of them will be a snake. We'll choose him right now.

I'm going to put a slug somewhere in your house. OK, I'm doing a hornet, obviously number one. And then I think I'm going to go with a single hornet. I give you what about a raccoon, maybe? No, they're too cute. I give you a cat. A cat is like a raccoon without the boob ability with a bad attitude. Yeah.

Real bad attitude. A bad attitude cat. An alley cat with intact balls. Yep. And scratcher. Those are claws. Scratchers. Scratchers.

He's got all his scratchers. I won't do that, but I will do something to you. No, what about a cat? No, if Duke doesn't win, you have to get a cat. No, that's actually so bad. I'm not going to ask for a cat. Yes, yes. But what if they win?

No, no, no, you just said. Wait, you get to celebrate. No, but I need, I need, you guys, I need stakes for you guys. No, no, no, no. If Duke doesn't win the title, you have to get a cat. No, I need stakes for PFT because what about you? Because you're the biggest Duke fan in the world. I am.

It's Duke's year. So you'll get a cat. Yeah. Hey, I like Hank getting a cat. Hank, you got a cat. I'm not committing to a cat. Why? Because I don't want a fucking cat.

Okay. I think you should get a cat. But I think Duke's going to win. I'm not worried about that. If you think Duke's going to win, then the cat's not a problem. No, but like, I want, I need stakes. I'm not just going to agree to a cat. And if I win, I get nothing.

And you guys don't have to do anything. How about this? All Duke has to do is get to the Final Four. Okay. And you, if they don't get to the Final Four, you got to get a cat. But what if they do get to the Final Four? Then you get to celebrate.

It's your favorite team in the whole world. Go to the Final Four. Final Four. Final Four. Just say the cat. I'll think about it. Okay. I think he's going to get a cat.

But sweet 16. You're alternative. If they don't get to the Elite Eight, you got to get a cat. Sweet 16. So they have to go past the sweet. They have to get to the Elite Eight. They can lose the Elite Eight.

Get to the sweet 16. No, no, no, no. Yes. No. That's only two games. They have to win three tournament games. If they don't win three, two, they're going to win the fucking sweet 16 game.

Yeah. But big cat. They'll be playing like a four or five seat. They could run into a nice. And this is all contingent on Trey Jones playing in the tournament. Okay. Let me state that right now.

Deal. I'll give you Trey Jones. If Trey Jones doesn't play, the deal is totally off. Duke has to get to the Elite Eight. That's it. They just got to get to the Elite Eight. No.

Sweet 16. Come on. I don't want a fucking cat. I don't want a cat. Get that fucking cat. I'm not amazing for this show. Get in that cat. You could cuck-tock girly.

Beat him twice in a year. Honestly, I would probably get a cat that's like 25 years old so it dies within like a month. That's fine. No, that's fine. You should adopt. Cats need to be adopted too.

I like that. Okay. I say, okay. Elite Eight and Hank can get a cat that's an age of your choosing. Yep. Sweet 16. No.

You have a deal. Dude, you know they're going to get to the Sweet 16. That's the easiest thing ever. Just do it. Do it. No. Elite Eight.

I'll think about it. Elite Eight. Come on, Hank. I'm not going to make it to an animal. I fucking said I was going to cut off my pinky if the Texans won. You won't get a cat. Yeah, that's way different.

They get to the Elite Eight. And you're also, that's like, if they win, I lose something. They get nothing. No. You just have to get to the Elite Eight. Your team is doing well. The team that you've rooted for

your whole life. Sweet 16. You got a deal. Just say the Elite Eight. Come on. Sweet 16. Now we're, now we are, now the award-winning listeners are

sitting there like, yo, we want to get on with our Friday. Yeah. Okay. Here's the deal. I'm going to mediate this. But you guys are trying to put something on me that I don't fucking want.

Hank, excuse me. Excuse me. I'm going to mediate this. I think we should agree to Hank's terms on the Sweet 16 because that'll make that second round game insanely interesting to us, even though we won't really care.

And I think our listeners will appreciate that. Okay. Here it is. Here it is. Final, final. I agree with what Piazzi is saying. Final offer here.

All right. They have to get to the, they have to get to- I'll do Sweet 16. No Trey Jones involved. The Trey Jones is injured. Sweet 16 still counts. I say deal.

So if Trey Jones is injured, they'll still get to the Sweet 16. All right. What about this? They just can't lose by double digits in the Sweet 16. So if they lose by double digits in the Sweet 16,

you have to get a cap. Okay. Okay. There we go. And we're going to name it Hank's Pussy. So the Sweet 16 game still has some kind of juice to it.

So Duke has to get to the Elite 8 or not lose by double digits in the Sweet 16. Otherwise Hank has to get a cap. Hey Hank, how's your pussy doing? Can't wait to say that. I don't know how this went from PFT taking Duke's,

but now- No, you guys definitely fucking playing this before the show. No, no, no. The cap thing is different. The cap thing was, back to the tape, which you

always do. Thank you for listening to the show, Hank. You'll see that that conversation evolved organically. But here's what you did, Hank. What you don't even realize

what you just did, you just kept intact your Duke fandom. Because now you have something at stake and I feel like PFT can no longer take away your Duke fandom. I can't.

It's yours. You're owning it. And a cat. Wow. You have a cat and a Duke fandom. Great news. Oh man.

Okay, let's get it. I want to come up with some type of deal that if they win the championship, you guys may win the championship. We'll kill a cat. Okay. Put a four on that one, Hank.

No, I'm not killing a cat. No. That's sick. You're sick, Hank. Say okay to that. That's fucked up. God damn it. All right.

Let's get to Kyle Van Noy. It's gone out of control. This is a Friday episode. All right. Before we do that, a quick word from our friends at Spotify. Spotify, February isn't just

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Mugsy.com code PMT. Okay. Here he is. Two-time Super Bowl champion Kyle Van Noy. Okay. We now welcome on Super Bowl champion two-time Super Bowl champion coming

off his second Super Bowl. It is Kyle Van Noy. Thank you for joining us. Thanks for having me. This is sick. I watch it. Y'all is dope. Thank you.

Thank you. Actually, my first question was just the lions to the Patriots. That was the whole question. I'm going to repeat what my friend said so I don't get in trouble. My friend said, he's like, you went from like the toilet bowl to the

Super Bowl. Is your friend also named Kyle Van Noy? Is that what this is? Yes. I got, that was KVN. This is Kyle Van Noy. I got like double persona.

I got you. No, no, I do want to get to the difference between the two. We will do that. But let's talk about the Super Bowl first because it's still fresh. You're only a couple of weeks off of it.

The story coming out of the Super Bowl was that the Rams basically just didn't change anything. Did you see that on the field? Like were you at any point during the Super Bowl? Like, yo, are they just going to keep running the same shit we've

watched a million times in film? Yeah. I couldn't believe that either. Like they really didn't do not one wrinkle. I was like, what the hell? Like they got so many good players. They got so many things they've done

all year. And the one play they gave us, which was a wrinkle, was the be cook screen that hit for a little bit. And that was it. Everything else was maybe. The wrinkle was no wrinkle. Like you get way too in your own head.

Or maybe too. Like we were playing so good. They were like, shit, we don't know what to do. Right, right. I mean, that was it felt watching the Patriots defense is Super Bowl. You guys felt it felt like you guys

almost knew what was happening before it even happened. Yeah. We pride ourselves on watching Hella film. That's for sure. Yeah. I mean, that's what we, the coaches

set us up for success and players do as well. We got good players. I say we got elite football players. We don't got any prima donnas or stars or anything. Yeah. Which is nice.

Yeah. Not have to deal with any of that. Yeah. Not even Brady. You wouldn't, you wouldn't consider Brady a prima donna with his, his, his workout plan and all that stuff. No.

No. With his, with his ice cream. Yeah. And his supermodel wife, he like, he is, it's funny because Brady should be a prima donna. He's been so successful. Yeah.

He has all the stuff that goes along and being a prima donna, but it seems like when it comes down to actually working, he's the hardest worker as anybody. I respect that. He, he doesn't. I mean, obviously he's still a

quarterback at the end of the day. So he's got his little kinks and wrinkles. He, he does, but they're not crazy. You know what I mean? They're not outlandish things. He's not undermining anyone.

He's not being, I'm, I'm a superstar. Look at me. Like he's, he's respectful and he works hard and that's why we love him. That's why he's our QB baby. He, he does it the right way.

Does Belichick yell at him like he yells at someone else? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To be honest, cause it sets the table like, okay, it doesn't matter who you are.

Everyone's got even playing field like this is how it is here at work. Like you come in and you earn everything and I respect that cause I felt like that gave me a chance to get on the field when I came in mid a year during the year and he was like, it doesn't matter

who you are or what you've done. Like you earn your keep. As long as you love me. I think that's an in sync lyric. Yeah. Belichick listens to a lot of Justin Timberlake. Yeah.

Yeah. He's got funny jokes too. Does he really? No. He does. Tell me a joke Belichick said. I don't know. I could say.

One of his funny one is when I won't say names or whatever cause I don't want to get into that but he makes fun of it was one time this player fumbled and he was like, you know, you're fucking tiny hands can't hang on the ball.

So it's funny because it's like it's out of the ordinary. Yeah. He came out of nowhere. Yeah. I started laughing. That's pretty good. He's got a couple other ones.

He's got a couple other ones. He's got a couple other ones. He's got a couple other ones. That's pretty good. He's got a couple other ones but I'll keep them. Yeah. Them secrets.

Yeah. Yeah. You better. You better. That's like rule number one there. So the narrative behind you guys you guys Super Bowl one again it was like very impressive which

you guys did defensively. The narrative was that you reinvented yourself going to that game. How many times a year do you actually think. Well first of all you can tell me because I've just heard that

from analysts on television saying it. Do you think that's true? Did the defense completely reinvent itself? Like you're saying each week. Well go specifically for the Super Bowl.

Did you guys reinvent yourself for that game. Yes and no. Like there's players that played different positions that hadn't played that certain position all year like Chung he played back most of the game before he got

hurt. Jay Jones he actually played safety that game. So there's things they put players in different positions and we weren't necessarily a zone team. We didn't play zone very much all

year and in the Super Bowl we were predominantly a zone team and that kind of probably threw him off. Like I saw a clip of Sean McVeigh you know read in the clip and he said oh like oh shit in his head they're running the Bears thing

or whatever of what the Bears did shout out the Bears baby. You already made fun of the Double Doink so I know you don't mean it. I didn't make fun of it. I just said Double Doink the minute you saw me.

So yeah that is making fun of it but okay. See I know there's a lot of haters to Cody Parkie but I think I still think he's a good kicker. Me too. I think they should reset.

Keep him around. Stop. I agree. I want to have a bad year. He missed 11 kicks. He had a bad year. Bad year. Can't have a bad year.

Look at the totality of his career. He's a good kicker. You want to do this. You want to do this. Let's do it. You have been with the Patriots for three years now.

Hold on a little bit. You're a Patriot way so you know like what happens in the locker room kind of stays in the locker room. What do you say if the Patriots lose on a Gostowski kick in the AFC

championship game double doink and then five days later he's on Good Morning America. What do you say? Oh yeah. That's where it was. Yeah. Like I was okay with hey Cody

Parkie. I didn't want him on the team. I think mentally you can't come back from that moment with the Bears. Like I think he could go somewhere else and be fine. But I think if you have that

type of moment with a team it's very hard to come back. Why do you think he went. I don't know because I think the world has shifted to a point where it's like we have to celebrate losers and I know that sounds crazy and hot takey but

it is ridiculous to be like oh poor Cody Parkie. He's paid $9 million a year to suck. He had a bad year. I'm not bad. I'm not bad. I'm not bad.

Let's keep it on you Kyle. Why don't you want a kicker that would want to come back and kick in that same city. No he doesn't want himself. He doesn't. The ship has sailed. There's it's once you have that

happen you can't come back from that. He can come back from somewhere else but let's keep it on you. Okay. Let's not do this. So Max Kellerman owns you. What.

Yeah. You think he owned me. Oh yeah. Why. He owned all of you. Why. Because he is outlandish. He's hot takeish.

Yeah. He said Tom Brady was old. I mean he is. But he you guys then made. I saw the signs. I didn't. I wasn't a part of that. I didn't know he had.

I didn't know my teammate had that time because I would have threw that shit in the trash. That's giving him too much credit. Exactly. You guys played into his hands and he went on his show. I'd went on his show to let him

know like. But that's what he loves. You played right into his hands. Why. I love that I went on the show. I got to say like what's up. But that's what he wanted. He wanted you guys to be like oh

yeah. I got the Super Bowl champions now answering to me. But I wasn't answering to him. He was still answering to us. I don't know. I don't know. If you watch it.

He's asking me and I all I have to say is we won again. Right. Yeah. I think you got play. I think I think the only example where somebody has a guy. Look at him go.

That's the situation when Skip Bayless had Richard Sherman on. And Richard Sherman just said I'm better than you. I'm more accomplished than you would be. Like he was just mean to him.

Yeah. Like there was no like playful basketball. You should just dunk this head in the toilet and give him a swirl. See I don't need it. That's not my.

That's not my deal. My deal is I won. Yeah. Like you really can't say. You can argue whatever you want. And then once I walk in and he before we even chit chat he's already mad.

Yeah. I know I won. But he won. But how. Because he Max Kellerman became a story after the Super Bowl. That is literally his dream. It is.

When I would agree saying spewing shit and being like let's see what sticks to the wall. His dream is that the Patriots then come and answer to him. Yeah. I think it was more that I was.

I was just there at the show and they happened to be like let's put a mom first. Yeah. I mean I was. I was in the car washing. Exactly. So I was already there and so it

was like we want to put Kyle on that show because that's going to that's going to get some love. You know and that you know part of viewership. I get it. Like and I wanted to be on the show just to say you know you

won. Maybe I'll call it a tie. OK. I'll call it a tie. You know. It's a winner. It's a winner. Lost.

We both won. I think I did. I don't know. See you think I lost. Yeah. What do you think. I think that you played into his hand a little bit.

OK. I think I think his profile was elevated so much during this playoff run just by you guys getting pissed off at him that you cannot give him the on. What are we supposed to do at the end of the day.

Like do you not want us to say anything because I took. That's a good. That's a good question. What would you rather us. We haven't said anything and all of a sudden we kind of said stuff and people like oh like

everything. Everything Kellerman said was wrong. OK. He went because he got the attention. All he wants is attention. I think I would treat him just

like a dominant dog. If I'm a dominant dog I won't even say his name. I won't make eye contact with him. If somebody asked me a question about Max Kellerman just be like.

Skip who. Yeah. No. Who's that. Like. So you have someone ask you and you just like who's that. Oh I like that.

OK. Because he's winning right now that we're talking about. God damn it. He's winning. Yeah. Max Kellerman just beat us. Wait.

Who. Yeah. Who. Who. I don't know who that is. I don't know either. Who's the boxing guy. Is he boxing.

I don't think so. I think he just. All right. Let's move on. So who. I got a question for you about about a certain play that happened this year was against

where they had the 69 yard touchdown. I missed the tackle. You missed the tackle on that. That was tough. That should hurt. What was it. What was the locker room like

after that. Crickets. I mean. We felt like we blew it right there. We blew a chance to get the number one seed or a playoff birth.

We felt like we let a lot of people down. You know more importantly I think it hurt. More so because. Defensively we played shitty that game. And.

Adam Gates had a damn good plan. Like every. He schemed us up pretty good. That was pretty impressive on his part. I think what hurt us the most was guys coming from 0 and

16 Cleveland. Had a chance to get a hat and t-shirt. And. Didn't come up for them. You know. Like McCordy. Danny Shelton or AC from

Atlanta trying to get back to the Super Bowl. Guys like that who. Have. I've been working at it and worked with us all year to get that close to a. To a hat and t-shirt like that.

It hurt. Bad. What about so the one thing that I think everyone says about Bill Belichick Tom Brady Patriots is that they're almost unflappable that like the games in September and October don't

really matter. Because they'll be there at the end of the year. You guys. Lost a few games this year though where it was like. A tip like you lost the Lions you lost.

Killed by the Titans. Yeah. Is the locker room after in the film study after. Is it truly like you know what will be OK. No. It's.

Is it internal panic to like get better. I wouldn't say it panic. But. Those film sessions are brutal. Right. Like. I don't know if you ever been

cussed out like. From your boss or whatever. Or. Once or twice. Yeah. Dave's. Pretty positive guy. Yeah.

Yeah. You might cuss me out too. Yeah. But I would imagine and. Like that. Right. It's brutal. You know Bill it holds us to a

high standard which I appreciate because. I want to be great myself. So. That being said like that's that's sick but you I dread going after a loss like. I don't want to go in.

Because you know what time it is. Right. You're in for a long team meeting. Right. Of how shitty you played. Right.

Everyone know. And I respect that. Yes. It's not just one person. It's he's going to go down the line. And then the coaches do a really good job.

Of getting what. They want done for that next week. And executing that. Mm hmm. Now was that a concern or so you're coming from the Lions.

Or was that. Something that kind of attracted you to it. Like the fact that. You knew going into it obviously like. This is going to be a different type of environment.

Yeah. Than it was on the on the Lions. Like were you a little bit about to get real. Yeah. I would I would say yeah I was.

I'm not going to lie. Like I was also going into a situation that I was going to be playing by. I was I was starting. In Detroit my final year. So and I got traded when Hightower and Jamie Collins were

still there. So I'm like shit I'm back on the bench you know. And then when I got there it was like they were slow they had like a plan for me it seemed like. And then that plan got bigger

with how I played. And with that being said I didn't know that to begin with because I'd been in Detroit where I was kind of told we don't know where to put you. And I'm like well why did you drive.

But you know what I mean like I have my own coach telling me I don't know where to put you that's kind of that I don't know that's kind of crazy type of deal. Right. So you're kind of the

perfect like the Patriot Mold and the Patriot way Belichick finding guys where they might be playing out of position. Yeah. And then he had a plan for you day one.

Yeah. This is exactly what we want you to do. Yeah. I think they had that all the way in the draft too. I know I was kind of high on their list because I.

I don't. What is it about you. Do you think that. I do it all. I don't. I'm not like an inside line backer and outside. Right.

You know. I can play the run. I can drop in the past. I can rush the passer. And you know with what we do we're evolving. We never have like a set. We're a four three team.

This is what you're going to get. You know. Deal with it. We're going to. Okay. Teams got a game plan against us instead of us always game

planning it. You know. Right. Against them. They got a game plan us like are we going to be in a three four. Are we going to be in a four

three. Are we going to be in a bear set. You know all those different type of styles of defense. I love that. I think that's fun. It keeps players engaged as

well. Like Bill does a really really good job of that. He keeps player engaged because you're always evolving. You're not the same thing each and every week. Because I don't just I don't

think you can last anymore in the NFL. You're going to get people are going to pick you apart unless you have those outlandish defenses where you got freak athletes like you know Jackson ville did that one year or

like the bear bears. You know what I mean. You have that. So you're able to do that. But when you have just really good football players you can change it up. I mean that doesn't get talked

about enough of how smart so many of the players I play with like Devin McCordy Chung even the linemen Trey Flowers Lawrence guy to be able to switch from one responsibility to a completely another. It's impressive.

Did you notice that when you went from the lines that Patriots how much like smarter all your teammates were because I think there is that narrative that Bill Balochek wants smart players no matter what. Yeah I don't want to throw any

shade at the Detroit or I don't want to throw shade at them because I do feel like they have really smart players but just collectively the IQ of the entire defense would be a lot higher just because of the preparation the attention to

detail the older guys have and the younger guys get to see the older guys have. I think it matches up pretty well. What about the McCordy twins is there like a dumb one and a smart one or can you tell the

difference? No you can't. It's easy. They're both assholes. My wife always said what's that movie? Shark Tale? Yaman you know the two twins?

Yeah that's them. They're always playing. I like that. So you went to BYU. I did. First question got to ask you. Let's get it. You guys soak?

Do you soak? No. See I didn't hear that term until I got in the NFL. Sure you did. It was just called hooking up. Yeah. There we go.

You hook up but you don't hook up. You didn't know that you were soaking. Yeah. I love these BYU questions. Yeah. Was it weird playing with guys

who were like 29 years old? No. Not really. Because my two best friends were my age and I kept my group kind of close. You know my best friends Brandon Baby's the one that got kicked

out. That's my guy. That was for soaking right? Like super soaking. He's super soaked? He's super soaked or super soaked? Yeah.

He was super soaked. Yeah. Super soaked. You could just soak. Did you see the BYU's kind of loosening up the rules though? They had... They got you.

I think they put Coca-Cola in the cafeteria. They did? Yes. It's party school now. Damn. I'm going back. We get lit.

We get lit. It's Diet Coke so they're still making their way for full sugar. But you got to take baby steps. Yeah. You can't get it all in bunches. Those kids wouldn't know what to do.

Is there a part of you that kind of wishes maybe if I had gone to like a big state school, like a party school, could have had a little bit more fun when I was in college? How do you know I didn't have fun?

Because you went to BYU. Because you went to BYU. There you go. You're in Utah. What's wrong with Utah? Well, it's fine. It's fine. It's a fine place.

But I don't think that I would want to spend my like years between 18 and 22. Where would you want to go? Well, see, I took trips. What's funny is I took my trips to all the party schools. I went to ASU.

Oh, here you go. Recruiting trips. Yes. Yeah. I lost my wallet there. Yeah. Coach found it somehow. I had no idea where it was.

OK. He found it. I also went to Colorado. OK. Boulder, baby. That was kind of wild. Hell yeah. And then I did a couple of

unofficials to a couple of places. But I kind of got all my party system growing up in Nevada. I think I needed to change a little bit. That's true. You're Reno. Reno, right? 24-7 city.

Like I grew up around wild stuff. Yeah. So like moving to Utah was probably like a relief for you at some point. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone knows that saying. Yeah. So many kids from Reno make it out. You know what I mean? Mike Mayock, when you're coming out of BYU, said you have short arms

and an average motor. What? Yeah. I read your traffic. Short arms? Short arms. Do you have short arms? I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Look at the short arms. I actually did. Mike Mayock is doing all right, though. He's making bank now. Yeah, he is. He's making bank now.

Yeah. Yeah. He is. What about the average motor? That's a big time knock on you. It is. That means you're not trying hard. I guess not.

Do you ever go back and look at your, like people analyzing your draft? You know, that is sick. You rod that up. I need to. Yes. Because then I can go give them all middle fingers.

Right. No, you give them two fingers with your two rings on them. Just walk around with them. I know. I actually put my first one on the middle finger. To the other middle finger.

Yeah. That would be kind of dope. So you just walk around like this to everyone. Now I, you know, I don't necessarily need to just my, you know, my face and. Yeah. Short arms.

Van Noy. No, that's a good point. Motor. Yeah. What's that even mean? It means that you're not white. Yeah. Technically, that's what that means.

Like, if Mike Mayock is sitting down, he's watching tape of like a white defensive player. He's like, look at the effort on this kid. Yeah. You know? Lack of effort.

Yeah. So what happens when he has a bunch of dudes that don't have good motors on his team? Then he's probably not going to be a GM for very long. He needs high motor. John Gruden fires him after a year

and says, I can tell you what, man, I'm going to coach his team myself. I'm going to draft myself. That's crazy. He got a 10 year though. Yeah. That is not crazy. Yeah.

It is nuts. How much does the bell check make? I don't know. No one knows. It's a secret. I seriously, no one knows what, like the actual contractors. But he's got a bad ass boat though.

Yes, he does. He's got a boat. I'm going to disagree. Oh. The boat is not as impressive as I thought it would be. I wouldn't say the boat's impressive. The name.

There we go. There we go. That's pretty hilarious. Yeah. What about Ernie Adams? Yo, he's the man. Silent assassin. Can you tell us anything about him?

Does he have any? He's smart as shit. Oh, boy. He's very wealthy. He's very wealthy. With intelligence? Yes. Like he's made a bunch of money off the field.

Like I've sat and talked with him about Wall Street stuff and like, and like it over my head. Ernie Adams is like the, he's like the president of the Illuminati as far as everyone knows. He's insane. He's a wizard.

He's behind the curtain. What you just said is, every time we ask someone about it, he's like, that's the exact answer. Like he's so smart. He really is. He doesn't say anything. Like he's cool too,

because like he doesn't, he's hard to like at first to talk to because he don't really know what to say. But then when you're around him all the time, and you see how he moves and acts, like you just want to know more about it. He's just, he's just mysterious. Has he ever given you a tip?

Oh yeah. Of something that like was way back that you forgot about? Yes. What was it? Easy. There was a play that happened. I want to say it would have been,

it was when we went to the Super Bowl, my first Super Bowl, we played, sorry, the Steelers, and they were on the goal line. And there was a play, I wasn't in at the time, but I remember the play because Ernie said,

they're going to run this play. And we got to tackle for loss on that play. And it's kind of crazy. One of my, one of the players came to sideline and he's like, damn, that's the play Ernie was talking about. That's crazy. And he made the play on it.

And that's just one that comes to mind. He's done that all year long. I can't think of other plays, but he really knows, like he's got a photographic memory. Like, Does he ever self scout like his own plays? Does he ever tell you like,

hey, you tip off this here? Not necessarily that. He just says that you need to do this or I see you doing it this way. And I listened to him because he's been around some of the best players ever. And you want to listen. Yeah.

Yeah. Someday he's got to write a book or do something. He should. Like he's really impressive. If you ever get, I know he probably wouldn't say much, but he's honestly a really impressive human. He seems like a dude that is just content

to sit behind the curtain and just be successful. Oh, yeah. And be happy with his own success and do things his own way. He doesn't need the recognition. No, he doesn't need any of that. Which is kind of how the Patriots are regarded in general. How did him and Belichick link up?

Like, have they always been together? Yeah, I think they've been best friends, I think since, I don't know all their story, but I know they've been best friends. They went to high school. Yeah, high school. I was about to say best friends since high school.

Fuck. Wow. That's crazy. Because you imagine them too in high school. No, no. Just playing tricks. Playing tricks. Yeah.

Soaking everywhere. Oh, right. That's funny. They did a double soak. That's... You said soak everywhere. Yeah. I think they found each other because Ernie Adams

asked him about Bill Belichick's dad's book. He's like, oh, your dad wrote like the history of scouting. Yeah, like some 14-year-old being like I read, yeah, the encyclopedia of scouting. Yeah, your dad's so great. No folks from the Navy. All right, I got one last question.

Seakeak question, put in promo code TAKE. You get $10 off Seakeak Purchase. What about my question? You got some too, but let me do my last question. All right. Jim Caldwell, dead or alive? I love him alive. You sure?

Yeah. But he never shows anything with his face. That's all right. I know him personally. He's a good man. When was the last time you spoke to him? He's alive. Hmm?

Spoken to him. When was the last time you spoke to him? A while. I rest my case. I love Jim Caldwell too. I'm happy he's back coaching. Yeah. He's using Dolphins.

Dolphins, that's right. It's beef flow. Yeah. Can't wait. Beef flow. Two times a year. We do this segment with everybody. It's called headline grab.

So are you going to go to the White House this year? No. Okay. Wow. Kind of. Short arms, Van Noyde. Not going to White House. I know.

I might make TMZ for that. Yeah. Well, Chris Long, we, before the Super Bowl last year, we accidentally got him in the headlines because we asked. Really? Yeah. And he was like, why are you guys even asking? Dang, I'm not going.

Do you guys talk about that as a team? Like who's going? Who's not? Do you care? Not really. No. It's not that big of a deal. I think people make it more big of a deal.

Like this will probably get blown up. Yeah. That's the media right now clapping for us, for asking you that question, getting that answer. I don't even know what's going on out there. We got to wrap up, Hank. So let's wrap up. What happened with Hank get sneaking into the party?

Do you see him there? I did. Yeah. Was he acting a fool? He was. Yeah. He was acting so wild. He almost got on stage with Meek Mill.

Let me ask you a question. You two Super Bowls with the Patriots. Yeah. Do your job. Do you know what we were doing when he was partying? Working. Right here. Doing our job.

We were in the studio. While he was partying. While he was partying. We were doing our job. Who do you think is going to win a championship? We are. Well, no. We are.

We are. We are. P&I because we never stopped doing our job. Looking at us. Oh, that's actually a serious question that I had for you. So you win a Super Bowl. What are your expectations from the team? What do you do in the first month or two?

I know there's not a lot of contact with you and the team. Win another one, baby. That's easy. Put the expectation in terms of what you have to do in the off season when you're not around the team. It is exactly what you do all the time. It's off season. Enjoy yourself.

I'm about to get out here to Australia. Oh, nice. Have fun. Thank you. It doesn't exist. Don't let a kangaroo punch you. It's actually Chile. So when you land, just know that you're in Chile.

It's a whole thing. I'll get into you off the line. Why? It doesn't exist. It was developed back in... That was good. It was developed by Britain. They didn't want people to...

Oh, here we go. They took all their prisoners to Australia. Instead of sailing them halfway around the world, they just said, fuck it, they pushed them off the ship. Oh, last thing. How did you... One more thing. One more thing.

How did it feel to get JJ Watt? Oh, JJ's... Oh, yeah. Pretty good, right? It was actually Sheldron. He was the golden child. Yeah, I know. He's got the golden child to do that.

I know. Yeah, I know. That's dope. JJ Watt probably had more sex than you in college. Well, I mean... Two times the world champion Kyle Van Noy. No comment. That interview with Kyle Van Noy was brought to you by Zip Recruiter.

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I'm not acknowledging this because I'm not worried about that. You're gonna get so many people tweeting you cat gifts. You're the cat guy now. Every time. Wait, the final was that Trey Jones like doesn't, he can be in it or not. No, I said Trey Jones, sweet 16. No, but then you took Trey Jones away. Yeah, you took Trey Jones away.

If the sweet 16 was the only one. No, no, then you said the 10. All right, that's fine. Trey Jones has to play, but you never said anything about Zion. Zion gets hurt. This is all over for Hank. I don't want this to happen, but you know what? I don't want Zion to get hurt because he's a bull.

Now I'm taking the stand of, I think Zion Williamson should sit out the rest of the year and save himself for the NBA. If he honestly though, seriously, all jokes aside, if he like blows out a knee or something like that, he probably won't be a top five pick anymore and that's why it cost him millions of dollars. Big time podcast. You gotta go to New York. You gotta make your money as a Nick.

It'd be, listen, I'm going to take the side of the players here. If you guys want to side with billionaires over millionaires, that's fine, or the plantation mentality of the NCAA. If you feel comfortable with that, go ahead. I think Zion should just sit out the rest of the year. His draft stock will never get higher. Zion, if you're listening to me, do it smart for you and your family. Yes, preach.

Your job is not to make Coach K another $10 million. Your job is to look after your own future because nobody out there, no college coach, no AAU coach, nobody except for you is going to have your best interests in mind. So Zion, do what's right, sit out the rest of the year and prepare yourself for the draft and get your money. I can just see Hank, Hank and Frank just eating out a can of tuna together every night. Hank and Frank is a little fat, tabby cat. Hank and Frank.

Hank's got his fork and the cat's licking at the tuna. Oh, fuck. If Trey Jones is out, then it goes to the sweet 16 bet. If he's in, they have to, they can't lose by more than 10. They can't lose by double digits. So 10 is a cat. Okay. 9 is not a cat.

If Trey Jones is out, we still have a bet so that we can still have fun. It's just sweet 16. No. Okay. All right. Let's get to some segments. First up, let's do PR 101 for the dog show. So PFT, what happened?

There's a big controversy that happened. This was, so it was after a record on Tuesday night that it came to light. I was not aware of it or else we would have addressed it on Wednesday's show. But there was a dog that qualified for the final group, meaning the best in show prize. So it won its group, which was the non-sporting group. It was a Scherp key. Oh, yeah. Shipper key.

It was a shipper key. Who doesn't know the dog? That was the name of the dog, or the breed of the dog. It did not, it got disqualified from the final group for best in show because one of its co-owners was a co-owner of another dog with the judge for best in show. So there was a conflict of interest, meaning they competed with six dogs for best in show as opposed to seven. So this is like when the Saints and the Rams played and four of the refs were from Southern

California and they canceled the game and gave it to the Saints. And they did it over because it was the right thing to do. Right. Except they didn't do it. Except they didn't do it. And if you're wondering what Bob Ryan's take on this is, I'm sure that you guys all were. He says Westminster simply cannot afford to have this kind of controversy next year. Or is there a world so insular that this kind of conflict of interest is too hard to avoid?

If so, I'll judge. I have an elegant solution for this. Okay. Well, better include Bob Ryan being a judge. It's not Bob Ryan, but it's close. Okay. I think they should just let Bob Costas give a five-minute speech about a subject of his choosing, including the corruption involved at Westminster prior to the Best in Show

award. Yes. I actually am going to go the other way from what Bob Ryan's saying. I actually think this is exactly what Westminster needs. More controversies will get us to a point where dog shows become mainstream. We talked about it with Rick Wyrich, and he said that millennials don't love dog shows. Well, we need to get some kind of, maybe put it up to a fan vote, a hashtag. And then you have, like, you know ...

And Kal Rudolf wins. Right. Exactly. Then ... Well, Hank's slinking in his seat. He's getting ... Hank's getting triggered by all this talk of animals. Yeah.

Okay. All right. We'll move on. Well, I have another solution. Oh, yeah. This one is actually a serious one. Yes. A dog and a half, and whichever co-owner claims it, that's the true owner.

And then what ... And so if it's co-owner that had the conflict of interest with the judge did not claim it. Yes. Because he'd rather see the dog live. The dog can go on. Then the dog may proceed. Okay. May proceed.

All right. Next up, we have Trouble in Paradise, Roger Goodell. So there was a report today, actually Adam Silver said it, that he hasn't given any thought to inquiries by NFL owners. So the story comes out, it's kind of vague, basically Adam Silver is flexing on everyone being like, yeah, I've been offered to be the NFL commissioner a few times, multiple times over the last five years. I've said no every time.

Now, first of all, this was Jerry Jones, right? It was Jerry Jones multiple times drunk dialing. Yes. It was Jerry Jones. So we can get that myth busted there. Number two is like Adam Silver, I don't know if it's a brag or not. Of course you don't want to be in charge of the world's most popular sport that makes billions of dollars.

Heavy lies the head that wears the crown. Well, he could be the world's first dual sport commissioner. That could work too. The Dion Sanders of commissioning leagues. But like, why would you want to do that? The NFL commissioner job, and Roger Goodell is terrible at it, but it is basically a no win job. Well, I think Roger Goodell is doing a great job of not doing a good enough job for anyone

to expect anything out of it. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense to me. It's like he's doing a great job of not setting the expectations too terribly high for him. People expect him to fuck up, and when he fucks up, they say, well, that's just Roger. That's his job. Yeah, he's been here long enough. That's kind of what he does.

He's actually, he probably has it amended into his job requirements is to fuck up. Yeah. Fuck up at least twice a year. It would actually explain a lot about his performance. I also think that there's a good chance that Jerry Jones thought that he was calling Tony Dungey. Yep. Or David Stern.

Well, no, because Silver looks just like Tony Dungey. But no, I'm saying he thought like he was, he thought David Stern was still the commissioner. He's like, give me the commissioner's office. Yeah. David Stern would actually be right up Jerry Jones alley. Yeah, he would. Yeah. Shadow commissioners.

Exactly. All right. Next up we have Antonio Brown, free agency update. So Antonio Brown's a free agent. He wants to go, he wants to leave Pittsburgh. He's already said goodbye to Pittsburgh. He is a free agent. He's a free agent.

He's accepted us. This is what I'm going to say. Right. Exactly. This is what, this is my plan. Obviously he's demanding a trade, but I'm thinking if he just, if the Steelers just pretend that he's a free agent or pretend that they trade him back to Pittsburgh, I think Antonio Brown will be like, you know what, great, new start, new beginning.

Because none of this really makes sense anymore anyway. Like he's just all over the place. He's demanded trades left and right. He like, you know, it was fixed for a while and then it wasn't fixed. So just trade Antonio Brown to the Steelers. New start, new us. Yeah. Or trade him and then trade him back.

It's like renewing your vows. Right. Yeah. They could do that. I had an idea. I'm not sure if this would work legally, but I think it could stick with me. Kyler Murray is in a position right now where he has all the leverage that he could possibly want with the baseball offer.

Right. Yeah. So if he wanted to, he could dictate what team he wanted to be drafted by. Now if Antonio Brown gets in cahoots with Kyler Murray and says, Hey, we could be a package deal. You use your baseball leverage and say the team that drafts me also has to sign me or trade for me, then you could really have a team over a barrel. But I think there are a lot of teams out there that could potentially want both Kyler Murray

and Antonio Brown. I don't hate it. It would be a little messy. It'd be very messy. And you also have to factor in the fact that Antonio Brown changes his mind every five minutes. Yeah. But I'm just saying it doesn't show up to anything.

Think about it. You got a new best friend Kyler Murray. Just use Kyler Murray. Okay. I'm saying, I don't hate it. I don't hate it. All right. Next up, we have just stopped tweeting Kirk Cousins.

So this is, this has become a thing with Kirk Cousins in the off season. So he tweeted the other day, uh, the picture where he had suntan lotion all over his nose. Just dad things. Hilarious. Yeah. Suntan lotion. That's what it was. The other day he treated the season feels so far away.

So I want to do a giveaway to keep all you Vikings fans excited. What do you want me to give away? Now it's a poll, but no one read the poll and he just got basically a 798 replies and I'd say 780 of them are something along the lines of, we want you to give your contract away or we want you to give money back or we want cap space or we want you to give us a win against a winning team, just a single win against a winning team. Maybe don't include footballs to, to all the opposing teams is one of the options in the poll.

So this is the point where Kirk Cousins has reached a point where he cannot tweet anymore. And he is very, very earnest and genuine. He can't tweet. It's just not, he cannot tweet anymore. I think that he's well past this point where he should just hire somebody to tweet for him to run his account for him. But I'm saying don't even do that. Like tweet, the only thing Kirk Cousins should be tweeting is about charity.

Go charity route or delete your account. What about rise and grind? Nope. Nope. No. Because it could be like rise and grind to what? Practice throwing more interceptions to the other teams. Where he'd go full heal and just tweet out pictures of like the different cars that he's

buying with his super contract. Yeah. Like just put another edition on my brand new house, just installed a third pool. But he's at the point though, when he even tweets pictures of his kids, everyone's like, I wonder if he sucks at throwing too. Like people are mean. So Kirk Cousins, just stop tweeting. Are your Spotify playlist, which is 100% Creed.

Yes. Exactly. Last up, we have FAQs. Just a reminder, on Monday's show, we have Rich Eisen. We're running Rich Eisen, a great interview with Rich Eisen. We also, in place of Monday readings, we're going to do a Monday review of Abducted in Plain Sight. What the fuck?

It's really just going to be us saying what the fuck a bunch, but watch it this weekend if you haven't. What the fuck? All I can say is what the fuck. What the fuck? Okay. Hank, hit us with the FAQs. Who is the biggest diva while traveling?

Ooh. I mean, this has been a very... One of us is obsessed with first class. That's a bit of a diva move. Okay. Yeah. Kind of. Listen, I'm not obsessed with first class.

I didn't say who. Whoa. I've gotten to a point where I get a lot of miles on my Delta number, and I once you fly first class a few times. So if you want to talk flying, you know what? As the bigger man, I'll put my hand up and say, yeah, sure, I am the flying diva. I like coach's son. I think that Hank, it'd be really easy to pile on Hank during this show because we have

been going after him a lot for how much he wants a cat, but I think it needs to be addressed how difficult it is to wake you up in the morning to get you somewhere. I actually think, here's an answer. I think we're all divas in our own right. We all have things. So I have the first class. You're obsessed with first class. PFT is obsessed with convertibles.

I just want a convertible one time. PFT is obsessed with convertibles. That's it. I haven't gotten it yet. I just would like one. PFT also, we have his plans for him every day, and we give it to him, like, hey, here's what we're doing today. He doesn't hold the plans.

And then Hank is hard to wake up. So we all... But you know what? We all fill in each other's weaknesses. I think that's actually true. Mm-hmm. What'd you say? Yeah.

And Liam, he gets robbed in Vegas because he leaves his hotel door open. I think my problem is, my problem is I'm just very forgetful. So if you tell me, like, okay, this is our call time here. Right. I'm like your travel agent. Yes. Yeah. When you move to the new office, what happens to Big Cat's pile?

Okay. Good question. We actually answered it on Barstow Gold. So if you have Barstow Gold, use barstowgold.com slash PMT. We get a kickback. So please sign up with that. We already answered this, but we'll answer it again. We'll give you a little bit of another answer here.

The pile is, the pile controls me. I don't control the pile, but in a perfect world, we will go through the pile and we will sell items in the pile and donate it to charity. That is a perfect world. That is my idea now. In an imperfect world, the world we live in, because we all are imperfect. Who knows? I don't know.

I was going to say throw it out. I think that we'll probably have to cull the herd a little bit. We'll have to throw some of the stuff out and then we'll keep the donatable stuff or the sellable stuff and then we'll figure something out. Here's what's going to happen. We're going to go through it. There's going to be a lot of clothes in there and we'll give those clothes to charity. So it seems like we're doing something good.

And then if there are some good items in there that we think people might want to buy, then we'll try to sell those. Yes. Okay. And then donate that money to charity. Donate that money to charity. You just put a bunch of clothes in a garbage bag and just tell somebody, hey, take this to Goodwill.

We'll also do it in the summer when I'm not gambling. So there's less likely of a case of me just taking the money instead of giving it to charity. Yes. That's my promise to you. If you could have any two pro athletes fight in rough and rowdy, who would it be and why? Oh, I think. Great question. How does that can stick?

I would be strong. Current pro or anytime. He could do it right now like he probably wants to do it. Any time pro or current pro? Anyone that's curly and cheap. So like they could be a pro, but they're not curly playing, but I feel like that's the better chase we have. I got mine.

I have mine. John Jones. Yeah. Versus Tom Brady. I want to see Brock Lesnar versus LeBron James. Yes. Okay. Those are two very good choices.

Yes. What about you, Hank? Jose Canseco versus Hank versus a pissed off cat. Oh, what about, uh, what about Jose Altuve versus Aaron Judge? Oh, that would be a good one. That would be awesome. Tail of the tape would be legendary. Yeah.

Get it? Cause one's tall and one's short. How frustrating is it when someone just doesn't get it? Like Dak Prescott or AJ Green or Damarino? Not that frustrating. We just kind of move on. I mean, we make a lot of jokes about them. Yeah.

I think it would used to be more frustrating because we always want to give the best interviews to you guys. I think now it's, once in a while, it's kind of funny in its own right. And also they're just hurting themselves. Like Damarino, I don't know if we told this story, but Damarino, after we finished the podcast, he was like, so do like a lot of people listen to this and we're like, yeah, like a million people every episode and he's like, oh, I'm like, yeah, you kind of fuck that up.

You know, like you kind of thought we were jokes, which fair enough, you judge the book by its cover, laces out Dan. Yeah. Usually, usually a guy in a plaid suit and a guy in a tiger's jumpsuit in the back of a conversion van. That's a fair judgment. But again, I Damarino saw me piss in the back of that conversion van, conversion van after. So last laugh on him.

Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rotten hell. Whoa. That's a quote from a movie. You gotta say that. I just did. Okay. Why are there pylons in the back of the end zones? What could be their purpose?

They're like traffic cones. Keep people in line. Fair question. Why is this? Fair question. I think it's just because they look cool. Yeah. I think it's because they look cool.

They needed to put bright orange. You have to have neon set up. Are there cams in there? Now there are. Yeah. There's cams in the back ends? Yeah. If you ever like are babysitting for somebody and they've got a pylon in their living room,

don't bring your boyfriend over and make out with him because that'll be on Nest. We should actually, I know Quiggs, our coworker who's very talented does pylon cam like the Twitter account, but he should just make a pay for like cam service where it's just the best highlights for pylon cam. What do you think? I like it. But then at the end, it's just big tits. Now I got you.

You guys were looking at me really blanks there. Now I got you. PFT. Yes. Do you, do you consider yourself a better guitarist or Twitter slash blogger slash podcaster? I'm neither. The truth is, I'm not very good at any one of those things, but you have to be better at.

No, I'm equally bad at all of them. What's your strength? My strength. I don't care too much. Yeah. I think probably my, probably my height. You touch room once. Yeah.

I know I'm a tremendous leaper. My strength is definitely my, probably, I would say my calves. You walked tall. I walked tall. I've always said that about you. Yeah. I've got high shoulders. Exactly.

You walked big. I actually said that first and then you took that. You did? I said it when I first met him. You guys both stole it from the rock. Okay. That's a great movie by the way. Yeah.

Like people go down on the rock and shit. We'll rock. Nope. We're talking about walking tall. Oh, I thought you were talking about the rock. The movie walking tall. Johnny Knoxville and the Rock. Oh, fucking awesome.

The Rock is also a great movie. Yes. Good point. You like that? Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. I married the prom queen. We'll end with this. What is the thing you're most tired of people saying to you in public?

Money's on the nightstand. That's actually in private. Well, we got a pile on camera. Yeah. That's true. What are you most tired of, Hank? How much money do you guys make and is Dave that much of a dick in real life? Yeah.

You get that one hot? Pretty much the only two questions. Actually, you know, I hate, you know, I hate, do you mind taking a picture because I don't. So don't ask if I mind. I will. Always. I don't like hate to be that guy. Right.

Just be like, no, like I'm, I love meeting people out in public like I don't mind. So you don't have to do the niceties, although I shouldn't say that because then people are going to be dicks. Like do the niceties. Never mind. Yeah. You don't mind. This is all foreplay and we know where this is heading.

Right. Hank, what do you say when people ask how much money we make? I don't know. Good answer. More than me. You should just say how much you think. And then whatever they answer, no matter how big, small, just go and walk away. That's a good way to do it.

Seven to eight figures. We make. Yeah. Correct. Enough. No. No. Somewhere between seven and nine figures.

No. Yeah. That's a million. Do you think, do you think I'm a millionaire? Do you think I'm a millionaire? I'm trying to like throw people out. I wish I were a millionaire. Yeah.

I want to be a person of wealth. If I had a million dollars. If I had a million dollars. If I had a million dollars. If I had a million dollars. If I had a million dollars. Pretty fast. We actually make $75,000.

So everyone see you Monday. Love you guys. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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Bye. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.