Pardon My Take - 76ers Owner Michael Rubin, March Madness, And Mad Tennessee Fans

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

March Madness is back the games are finally good. Tennessee fans write into us after their heartbreaking loss to Purdue. Getting ready for Hank's cat game on Friday night. (2:30-19:23) Baseball is back and Jordan Howard was traded. (19:24-28:13) Philadelphia 76ers owner and Fanatics founder Michael Rubin joins the show to talk about his climb to success, letting us own an NFL team with him one day, and some dumb business ideas that we need funding for.(30:47-1:10:28) Segments include Ass Eating SZN,(1:13:45-1:16:37) Schiano Man,(1:16:38-1:18:43) Thoughts and Prayers Deion Sanders,(1:18:44-1:21:18) we read a headline,(1:21:19-1:23:21) new segment what did Eli Manning google?(1:23:22-1:26:10) Big Cat thinks he can get us to go viral and FAQ's (1:26:11-1:33:49)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have 76ers owner and founder of Fanatics, Michael Rubin, on the show. We have a good talk with him, we're probably going to buy an NFL team with him, it's not a big deal. We also have March Madness, the tournament finally feels like it kicked off with that

Tennessee Purdue game, we recap all four games, we also have a new segment where we read every Tennessee volunteers, Twitter being big mad, a lot more coming your way on a good Friday. Alright guys, we got to do something quick though first, Bud Light. You know it, for the college basketball tournament, for March Madness, Bud Light is the best, best drink when you're sitting at the bar, when you're sitting on your couch, when you're tailgating before a game, Bud Light is keeping it real and changing the game by being transparent and putting the ingredients label on their packaging, brewed with barley hops, water and rice, no corn syrup, no preservatives, no artificial flavors, who else is keeping

it real this week? We also have Hank keeping it real because he's going to get a cat, we have Purdue, Matt Painter keeping it real as John Rostine says, Matt Painter, the new Bo Ryan and we had KB Noswag, our good friend, one Bud Light busters, excuse me, hashtag Bud Light Busters, he is in Vegas as we speak, so thank you to Bud Light, awesome tournament, we appreciate your support. Everyone go out and drink a Bud Light, remember guys, got to be 21 plus to drink a nice, cold Bud Light, but go do it right now, tweet us, enjoying your Bud Light, we're going to be in Minneapolis at the final four in a week and we'll be having many delicious Bud Lights.

So, okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take, presented by our YouTube channel, go download it right now, go subscribe, do all that, today is Friday, March 29th, this is March, we finally had our this is March game, March Bandit's back, Rick Barnes, your stupid fucking face, Matt Painter, you have slightly less of a stupid face and I'm going to say some nice things about Purdue, but that was the game of the tournament other than the Duke game. It got out of hand, it got out of hand pretty early and it looked like Purdue was going to walk away and then when Tennessee started coming back, you saw Matt Painter start to

shit himself on the sideline. It was like their stupid face was contagious, they were just passing it hot potato back and forth, Matt Painter having just insane runs on his team and just not calling a time out, Rick Barnes with the end of the game tried to get it to half court and call a time out. That was amazing. I actually didn't hate it. The two passes, I want to see more passes.

It was crazy. Everybody touches the ball before we call a time out. The comeback was crazy, it was one of those games where every time they went down the court, it was like here comes a big three, here comes a big block, here comes a big dunk, back and forth and when a game peaks like that in March and it's almost like you lose control of the game. No coach, no player, basically everyone blacks out and just starts hitting pure shots like the Ryan Klein game.

Klein 7 for 10. And he was the king of the no, no, no, no, no, yes shot, it was like that's a shitty shot. Wait, it switched again. Yes. Shout out Perdue. I know I make my, I make some jokes at the expense of West Lafayette, but Perdue, big 10 strong.

That's, that's like you make jokes within the family. Then when you get outside of the family, get to March Madness, you got a route for the family. So Perdue standing up first time into the elite eight, I think since 2000. So that, and that was going to be a heartbreaking loss for Perdue. It was like one of those, they can blame the refs, Tennessee, they came back. It doesn't feel as heartbreaking for Tennessee as it would have for Perdue. Yeah.

For some reason Perdue always has like a steady stream of tall white guys with the Macklemore haircut that are on their team. Like a bunch of guiles from a street fighter just lining up like six deep on the bench. Yeah. Isaac Haas right to harms. They like didn't skip a beat. Yeah, exactly. The first two letters are even the same.

Like I thought that it was Isaac Haas for the first like five minutes of the NCAA tournament this year when I was watching Perdue. Right. I was like, oh, he's still around. But yeah, yeah, they looked awesome. My big takeaway was the Tennessee uniforms. They should not be allowed to wear those pants and, and those warmups and those colors. Those are Indiana's.

Those are Indiana's. And also if I'm in a state that doesn't have a water burger and you're flashing those, those colors in my face, it's very triggering. Oh, different pantones, bro. I think they're pretty similar. Get Reveille and check that out. All up your ass. Yeah.

It's like creamsicle. Be inside your ass. Yeah. Different pantones. Have you seen that, that conspiracy theory going around or the spoiler about the new Avengers movie? No. Of which I haven't seen any of them.

But there's a theory that Thanos dies in this new one because Ant-Man crawls up his butt, Paul wrote Paul Rudd climbs up his butt and then expands into a normal sized person while he's inside his ass. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I hope that's what happens. That's really cool. It's like the people who put, what do they put up their ass?

All sorts of stuff. Yeah. All sorts of stuff. Yeah. All sorts of stuff. Yeah. All sorts of stuff. Yeah.

All sorts of stuff. It just appeared. Yeah. It was that whole podcast. Yeah. His ass is too sweaty to have anything stay up there or just fall right out. Work it hard. Yeah.

Richard Gere, what if he had been playing Thanos inside the costume this entire time? And it was actually just the sequel to Fugitive. Yeah. That'd be sick. That would be sick. Wait, Richard Gere wasn't it? No. Not who's, what was?

Pretty woman. No. Who's the guy? Who is the guy in Fugitive? That was Harrison Ford. Yeah. It's like one o'clock in the morning. Yeah.

So we get all of our actors with white hair. You can remember. Harrison Ford, because he's got the old man earring, which is very unsettling. Yeah. Yeah. God, why did I think that was Richard Gere? They kind of are the same. They're very similar.

They're very similar. All right. So we have a new segment that we're going to do. We're going to test out. We're going to hopefully make this a thing. We're, we're watching the Tennessee Purdue game and I turned to PFT with about two minutes left and I was like, this is one of those games that either side that loses is going to be so, so heartbreaking.

So we're doing a new thing. It's called hashtag Big Mad. And it's kind of like soggy sorrows when one of our teams loses and we just get irrationally sad, mad, lashing out. So we had people, Tennessee fans tweet us their instant reactions. So these were all within the first 10 minutes and we're going to read them. You'll react. Let's just first say I didn't put in the blame the refs people because I honestly don't know.

I think it's okay to say you don't know a call, whether it was the right call or not. Listen, Edwards, it felt like he kind of kicked his leg out and also he kind of got body. Yeah, he got body for sure. And like, I just, I feel like that's a 50-50 call if you want to make the argument that the rest shouldn't make those calls the end of games, I'll buy that. But I don't think you can blame it that specific call be like, it was completely wrong like a New Orleans Saints call. Listen, I'm always in favor of blaming the ref.

So if it's your team that loses, it's way easier. But I want, it helps you with the grieving process, but we won't, we won't entertain those on the show because I don't think that people are at home wanting to, wanting to hear us talk about the refs. Yes. All right. So here we go. Big Mad, this is from all Tennessee volunteer fans within 10 minutes of the loss.

I'm going to start with some perspective for everyone. This is from West Smith. He says, Tennessee always does this to me. Who cares? I still got a roof over my head, food in my belly, a pot to piss in. That's kind of, yeah. Well, it is Tennessee. There's toilets now.

And we're all going to die in the end. Hashtag who cares? Hashtag Big Mad. That's good. Not Evan Nolte said, I got ACL surgery yesterday. So I've been stuck in bed watching this game like any other fan. I would have switched to a more lucky seat once we started losing, but I'm physically incapable.

It's Evan McNulty's fault though. No chance we lose if I'm able to walk. Yeah. That's his fault. I totally believe that's our fault. Wait. So it's at who? Not, not Evan Nolte.

I think it might be Evan Nolte. Okay. Yeah. It is Evan Nolte and it's all your fault. It's all your fault, dude. I love sports fans because even though we're smarter than that, it's your fault. We're not. We're not smarter than that.

Trust me. Yeah. You should have re-tor your ACL to move a seat. Yeah. I've moved a couch into a new apartment because that was my lucky couch before. I've sat upside down for an entire game. All right. This is for just Ryan.

I want to cry. I want to fight harms. I love Admiral. Rick Barnes is a man of God. I live in Indiana. I would rather drink cyanide than go to work tomorrow. Those are two athletic for college refs. Really hope Hank gets a cat.

Damn it to hell. Everything. Shit. I love that. Our team is too good for the officiating. Too athletic. That is a beautiful spin zone. The college refs cannot keep up with Tennessee's athleticism.

Our pitcher throws too fast of a fastball for you. I'm part of the judge whether or not it's a strike. So good. Blake said, I'm so big mad right now that I'm going to drink orange vanilla coke to punish myself for believing. Don't do that. It's not that bad. Don't do that.

It's terrible. It's not that bad. I want to have Tennessee football back and Tennessee football is the most heartbreaking thing in the world. You don't mean that. Trust me. You don't mean that. This one's good.

Maybe this is their punishment. Tennessee's punishment for getting Greg Shiano after half a day. There were a lot of blamed Greg Shiano tweets. This one's good that I didn't even think about in the moment. Skyler Brown said, I blame Chris Weber for telling Rick Barnes when to call timeouts. Okay. That's good. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. Chris Weber throughout the entire game is like, he's got to call timeout here. Chris. It would be fair if there's anybody that would know when not to call a timeout. It's Chris. Right. And in the last couple of years, he's been like the most, he's always the guy that like gets two steps ahead and talks about when you should call that timeout.

So I would buy it from him. Yes. All right. So Bronson said, I blame creepy looking Purdue Pete, Drew Brees, shitty college basketball refs, Darren Ravel, Leroy, Urban Meyers Health, Coach K's back, AOC for making trains popular. Larry, the bus driver, not the fish. And they said, PSI take back Leroy.

That was too far. 14 out of 10 would boop. Thank you. I liked AOC for making trains popular. That was really good. But no, no strays caught by Neil Armstrong and that one. Yeah. No.

He went to Purdue. Yes. Uh, Graham said, the dude you picked last in every pickup game ever got harder, hotter than Sean Miller in a fur coat. Yes. Ryan Klein is definitely someone that you need to get big mad about. And he fouled out. Yes.

He wasn't even there for overtime, right? Yeah. No. Yeah. That was tough. Conway said, it's like I finally got over my abusive ex football, started seeing a great gal who treats me nice than her and her ex, convict ex husband beat me to death with a pipe.

Yeah. That's about right. That's short and sweet. This one is good. Kay Brand said, I blame our ancestors for ever seceding from the union and picking up bad habits that have seeped into the fabric of our society in this great state. That was the match that lit the flame that started this national disaster. I'm going to pray on it.

So this guy wishes we were still playing soccer. Yeah. That's what I'm hearing. Well, the score of the Texas Tech Michigan game was basically a footy match. Yes. Yes. We had a blame Obama. That's still goes.

Yeah. Uh, fuck my wife with Lane Kiffin. Fuck Klein. Uh, Eric said, fuck that fucking hairbrush or Klein. The dumb rims weren't built for free throws. I love that theory. Mm hmm. Me for attending UT.

My dad for having me born of all fan Tyler Eiffert, the announcer for saying Edwards is Derek Rose, but then him making free throws at clutch time. Mm hmm. So Derek Rose caught the last stray bullet. I like how everybody got a little taste. Yes. It's our fault collectively. It is.

And my two favorite though, by far is Tennessee's two athletic for the refs and there was something wrong with the rims just for free throws. I blame Twitter actually for not having an Admiral Schofield Twitter account that was like the general Andrew Luck. Yes. Very easy one to do. Yes. Just put them on the front of a ship and talk about navigation.

So Tennessee fans, sorry, feel bad, Purdue marches on. Good for Purdue. I'm happy for Purdue. The other games that we had that were kind of... Mm hmm. The fucking sound count. Breaking moves. That cow does not sound like our regular cow.

You healthy? Breaking moves. Mad cow disease. Hank is on vacation. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking moves.

Hank is on vacation. That voice you just heard was Bubba. Hank is on vacation. Yet again. Yes. Yet again. He literally is on vacation right now. Yet another vacation.

Uh huh. Do you think... He's earned it. Now let me throw a little stay woke out there. Don't you think it's convenient that Hank went on vacation right before he might have to buy a cat? Very convenient. Very convenient.

And not only that, but I'm pretty sure he's somewhere in the state of Florida, which is very close to being able to hop on a boat and flee the country so you don't have to buy a cat. That's true, but also there are tons of stray cats in Florida. Yeah. Just, they're everywhere. If you don't leave the state without a cat, people are like, where's your cat? Yes.

Come on, take one of these for the road. Yeah. So Hank is on vacation. The cat, he's going to get it. I really do think Duke is going to lose. Looks like a baby moon for his cat. I kind of understand. This is like the last weekend of freedom before he has all those responsibilities.

Yeah. He wanted to get out of the house for a little bit. By the way, we've got to mention Hank, we have Virginia Tech. If Virginia Tech loses, they won't. But if they do, on Sunday, if Duke loses by double digits, he still has to get a cat. Yep. That's the rule. Yeah.

So we've got a fallback plan. We still have this weekend to root against Duke. Maybe we can bully Hank into thinking that, I don't know, we'll come back with something in the final four where he'll have to foster a cat. Yes. Yes. Foster a series of kittens. Yeah.

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Pick up some after a tough workout and see for yourself. Okay. So thank you. Thank you, Bubba. Hank's on vacation and we'll be back on Sunday. The other games, PFT. Yes. Gonzaga one win away from their first final four.

I'm ready for it. It's been long enough. They've been the Cinderella team for long enough. Mark Fuse handstands are getting them there. Mark Fuse handstands. They're fucking awesome. Like that was a game where Gonzaga doesn't play the great greatest competition during the year.

Like FSU would keep sneaking back in it and they just lay the hammer back. So good for Gonzaga. We had Michigan score the lowest points. I think it was in tournament history in the first half. It was like, that game was like flushing a toilet and it just wouldn't go all the way down. You just kept flushing it home and the rims just weren't letting anything in. Yes.

And so I think he scored 16 points. Texas Tech was fucking awesome on defense. Michigan, I don't know, I mean, I don't know what to say. I guess I've been there where my team scored like 16 points and a half. Yeah. It was classic big 10 football. Yeah. It was on a basketball court.

It was pretty. Yeah. Actually that was the spin zone. That was the best that Jim Harbaugh's offense has looked in a long time. There you go. 16 points in the first half. 16 points in the first half. It's pretty good.

It's pretty damn good. Two touchdowns and two two point conversions. He's getting, he's growing with the times. Yeah. I just don't know. Texas Tech, yes, their defense is really good, but also Michigan's offense sucks. Yeah. So when they, I don't know who they're playing the next.

They'll play Gonzaga. Playing Gonzaga in the next round. Is that right? Yes. They will play Gonzaga. It's going to be a different story. Yeah. So I also, I don't know.

Texas Tech is such a weird school. Like they can't be a basketball school, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And no, I mean, they had Bobby Knight for a while. Yeah. That's true. That is a good point.

That put the stink of basketball on him for a while. And he made that, that, that stupid show where they like did the walk on. Remember that? Was that at Texas Tech? Yeah. I'm pretty sure they had a walk on show where he basically tried to find a walk on like a reality show. And just gave it to his son.

They should have done. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. All right. So Bobby Knight's good counterpoint, but I just don't know. I, I like them. I like their coach beard.

He's awesome. But I just, I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet to be like, I'm just getting into getting used to Gonzaga being in the tournament every year. Right. And there are a lot of people saying like, when did Gonzaga get good athletes? They've had good athletes for a while. Yes.

Actually a long one. Ever heard of Adam Morrison? Yes. Could do it all. Yes. Shoot and cry. Ever heard of Kyle Wilcher? Oh, of course.

Yeah. Yeah. Kyle Wilcher. That's right. Shout out Kyle. That's looking through the truth or looking glass. Yeah. One of our first guests on part of my take.

And then Virginia finally, I, I actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I deserve some credit, don't I? Because I guarantee that Virginia will get to the elite eight at least. I put them on my back. That's right. I believe in them. That's right. So they're there.

They survived their scare. They're a really good team as long as it's not the opening weekend. Yeah. It just takes them like 48 hours to find a rhythm. Or if they have to play Duke, that's really it. That's also true. Yeah. Good job.

Tony Bennett. You finally have proven everyone. You got to get to the final four. Yeah. Tony Bennett, he's like, he's almost too pretty to be, he doesn't sweat enough. That's the problem with him. So if you're, if you're a pretty college basketball coach, you have to sweat a lot. Yep.

Otherwise, I don't think that you're, you're working hard. I don't think you're gritty enough. Yep. So speaking of sweat, we got Bruce Pearl, you and Auburn versus UNC, Duke versus Virginia Tech. I can't remember the other Michigan State is playing. Kentucky is playing Houston and Michigan State is playing LSU. Yep.

I'm very excited for Friday Night Hoops. I love Virginia Tech. I really do. I do too. It's not because of Buzz. I like Virginia Tech. I like LSU. Yep.

I like Kentucky. Kentucky and UNC. Yep. Talk to you into that one. But we'll go with it. Well, I don't know if PJ Washington's playing or not. It doesn't matter. Kentucky.

Doesn't matter. Love them. Tile Hero. Brad Swaggs in the house. I'm claiming if Kentucky wins the national championship with Tile Hero, I think that counts as like one 12th Wisconsin's title. There you go. Yeah.

I've also noticed a new trend where you can bet on what Brad Calipari is wearing for the game. Yeah. Yes. So I'm going to go with, I think he's going Canadian Tuxedo. Okay. Denim. Denim.

And then like a Bolo tie. Okay. I like that. I think he's going to probably go maybe a white shirt with some kind of funny thing on it and then a big old chain. Ooh. What if he wore a graphic tee of his own face and body wearing a different Swaggy uniform? I like that.

I like that. I like that one's brain up. Yeah. All right. So the other things we had to do before we get to Michael Rubin, opening day is here. Well, it was here last week, but it's back baseball and officially the first sign of baseball being back, the first sign of the new era of baseball, Philadelphia booed Bryce Harper.

Yeah. Tough, tough, tough scene for Bryce. After what? Like three at bats. He struck out twice. Yeah. We know for three. I think he was intentionally walked later on.

It was rough. Yeah. He was, he, he's tried very hard to embrace Philadelphia. He's like become a Philly guy now by saying he would, he would bring the trophy to Washington, DC. Yeah. And also by saying like, I'm so excited to see the Liberty Bell while he was there. So he's like really embodying the culture of Philadelphia.

He did not look alive out there. No. I'm going to have a Bryce Harper looking alive meter, not looking alive. Not looking alive. Now I will say that there was probably about 10 people to booed, but that doesn't, like it's hilarious. I want all Philly to boo Bryce when he's not good early on because that's why I love Philly. Like reacting to a 13 year contract on the first day is so fucking awesome.

And like that's why Philly is great. It does set a tone. Yes. And you know what? Good for him setting a tone on the other end of the spectrum, like nowhere to go but up. Yeah. Well, you earned your money.

Now you got to earn our love. There you go. Put that on a shirt, Liam. Did you see it? Write that down. It was like an Instagram story, but it was basically like things to do in Philly. He was asking places to eat, like places to see movies and stuff. And then like in the middle of it, like things to do, but it was like dead serious like places

to go. Just asking about Philly. Very open-ended. Yeah. The Rocky steps. Yeah. Geez. Bryce, the good news is you're right.

He has only 12 years and 11 months and 30 days left on his contract there. So it'll be over before you know it. You'll blink. Blink and I and you'll be gone. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect. We also had with the start of baseball, where do you stand on on pace Twitter?

I'm actually not that opposed to it anymore because I don't think anybody does on pace yet. Okay. Well, no, I did. Javi Baez is on pace for 324 home runs. Okay. It used to be a big on pace day. Yeah.

I feel like that's died down and now you're seeing just more of people complaining about people who are doing on pace tweets. So Pendulum, that is the full Twitter like human centipede where we all just put our pucker up our lips and eat each other's shit assholes while they tweet like dumpsters like crap down our throats. That's where we're at. Speaking of getting something off my chest, did you notice the new fashion trend in starting pitchers?

No. So they're unbuttoning their shirts down to like their nipples, but they're showing a lot of cleavage. Love it. There were like three different pitchers out there that had that. So I'm in favor of that. But I think the pitchers that all had it today were like shave chest guys. I need like a big Bush Harry guy, like an old Italian guy with a chain.

It's pretty sweet. Bartol Colón retired one year or two early. It'd be amazing. God damn it. Like a bunch of thoughts out there. Imagine if they just thought, thought in pitchers if, if, if jerseys were optional for pitchers. The shakerietta would definitely go topless.

He is a big button it down. Nothing underneath guy. Yeah. And tops should be just, you shouldn't have to wear a top if you're a baseball player. Yeah. If you're anyone or actually strike that if you're a manager, it should be mandatory that you're shirtless. Yes.

Yes. Just the pants and the belt manager. Well, do, do, we should do like a, a body's a baseball and it's just all the managers. They're all amazing. It'd be perfect. Yeah. All right. So baseball, well, obviously it's day one of 162.

We got this. I'm actually excited when opening day comes back. It takes after opening day, it's like two months of following, but not like in, you know, locked in. Yeah. But opening day is always great. It is unless your dad takes you to an Orioles game and then turns around, drives you right back to school.

Yes. Then that sucks. Then that's not, it takes kind of a luster off it. Ruins your childhood. Ruins baseball for me. All right. Last up before we get to Michael Rubin, we have a what's up with the Jordans. So I forgot we have to also talk about Jordan Bell.

So Jordan Howard was traded from the Bears to the Eagles for a six round pick, possibly a fifth round pick conditionally. I don't really understand it. I, I like my knee jerk reaction was trust in Ryan Pace because he's doing everything right. Yeah. But then I thought about it more and it's like, you couldn't make it work with this guy because basically the understanding I have is that Matt Nagy just couldn't like

didn't like him being in his offense. Right. So I think there probably is some truth that he's not the greatest fit in that office. No. It was kind of a tell, like you're going to run the ball when he's on the field. Right. And he's more of just like a guy that is going to try to run you. He's got some power, right?

He's not as shifty as three Cohen. So I get it. He's going from one long to another, right? Right. Chris is inheriting. Yes. Kyle was big mad about that. Yeah.

When they traded him. Well, because listen, it takes away the ability to say the Bears just need to run the ball between the tackles in January. I can't say that anymore because we don't really don't have that guy. What is a new guy? Mike. Mike Davis from Seattle, but I think he catches more. But like Jordan Howard, yeah, he was 1,000 yards, 1,000 yards, like 900 yards first three

years in his career. He's going to be so psyched to run on some artificial turf as opposed to like that bear that winter. Yes. That you guys have there. Yeah. Although no, does Philly do grass? I think Philly still does grass.

I think they do too. I'm always confused because it always looks really nice. Yes. Yes. Very nice. Very nice. Good job Philly. We say, I think nice things about Philly.

Yeah. And then the other Jordan. So, so my final take on the Jordan Howard trade is I get it, but I feel still like they could have gotten more or made it work. Like if you have a player like that, being like he doesn't fit our offense, good coaches make, you know, talented players fit their offense. Yeah. And also if you have a root for a football team and you have 1,000 yard back, you will

have an emotional bond for life with that guy like he had 1,000 yards twice to big season twice. His name was Jordan. And he's young. And he's young. He's 24, right? Yeah. And he's cool.

He looks cool. That's the worst part. Yeah. Yeah. With the visor, he looks cool. Jordan Bell. Yes. So, explain the story, PFT.

So, Jordan Bell got, I think he got suspended by the Warriors. Yes. Because he charged an item to his, to the assistant coach, Mike Brown. Brown. Yeah. He charged, he charged. Dufus. Yeah.

Well, didn't he want to, did LeBron get him out of Cleveland? Okay. So, he's a member of the LeBron James, has been fired on Taraj. So, yeah, he, I guess Jordan Bell charged an item to Mike Brown's room and then Mike Brown got really upset about it and reported him, snitched on him. And he had been doing it more than once. Yeah. So, everybody was like, what could this be?

Do you like order porn to the room? What's going on? This is like a very weird thing that's going on. Turns out, he just bought a scented candle in the hotel gift shop for 15 bucks and then charged it to Mike Brown's room as a prank. Like, he's done this before and guys on the team had done it to each other, like to KD. Interesting. But this, I guess Mike, Mike Brown was not aware of the prank.

And so, they found out, it was Jordan, they suspended him and Leroy got to break the news that it was a candle. He did. Yeah. So, he got one right. He got one right. What's the record right now? Something like two and nine.

In dog gears, that's like, wait, in dog gears, that's 14 and 64. Two and nine. But he got that one right. 63. Well, yeah, he's on pace for like 400 scoops then. Yeah, exactly. He is. Good point, Bob.

He's going to keep scooping it up. Uh, it's so funny that it's Mike Brown because he is, like ever since, I know this sounds really stupid, but ever since LeBron bumped Mike Brown, I'm like, Mike Brown could just be bumped. He's a guy who just can be bumped. Uh huh. You can, you can send candles to his room. You can prank him.

You get bumped on national television once, everyone just kind of out for you and bump you. He's a great fall guy though. Yeah, he is. If things go wrong in this postseason, he's probably the first one out. Right. And he also has like the perfect, is it a fake name? Not a fake name?

Because it's so kind of generic and it's like, okay, yeah, sure, we'll send those candles up right away. Yeah. Yeah. So that's unfortunate, but yeah, a scented candle, 15 bucks. I bet, I bet they wish that this story never got out. Yes. Yeah, that feels like, but maybe this is what brings down the warriors.

Yeah. Maybe candlegate. There you go. Well, KD was involved in these high jinks from the start. Of course he was. So he's breaking the team up. That little, that little jokester. Yeah.

God damn it. Get on the fucking podcast, your PBB. All right. Before we get to Michael Rubin, 76ers owner, it's time to talk about the cash card from the cash app, the number one finance app in the App Store for a reason. The cash card is the most powerful debit card in the world and the only debit card with boosts, a money saving feature you can't get anywhere else because cash app invented it.

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Tweet us at, tweet it to us. The number one sports podcast also sponsored by a cat litter. Tweet us at Armand Hammer, Clump and Seal. Okay. Here is 76er's owner, Michael Rubin. Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest long overdue. It is Michael Rubin.

He has created Fanatics. He is a part owner of the Philadelphia 76ers, part owner of the New Jersey Devils. But more importantly, we share a very close mutual friend in Meek Mill. We do. Do you think Meek Mill likes me? He doesn't like, he loves you. He doesn't know me. He was just lying.

It was like love at first sight. What do you mean? You were at the game with us. I know. He was like, that's my guy. When I saw him at your party at the Super Bowl party, I had to say to him, like, hey, Meek, what's going on? We should go to a game together like the game we went to together in Philadelphia, the sixers

in the Rockets. Remember? He was like, wait. Oh, okay. Yeah. He's been calling me every morning saying, like, yo, why does Big Cat come on back? I mean, he's like, his life was not complete without you at the game. Sidebar on that.

I know we just met a second ago, but do you think that Cardi B would like me? Love. Yes. I knew it. Yeah. I'm ratchet. I love at first sight as well. Yeah.

So I want, we want to get in a bunch of stuff, but for people who don't know your backstory and how you have gotten to the place you are right now, I want to do a quick little bit on that. So you obviously were on the corp with A-Rod and myself, but for people who don't understand- That was my first podcast ever. It was. Yes. You were very nervous.

You puked right before. I think this is my second. Actually, it's my third now. Oh, what was the one in between? We did one on criminal justice reform with Jason Flum. I want to get to that too. So give us the quick story about how you went from Michael Rubin, just regular kid growing up to I now own part of the Sixers and Fanatics.

Well, it's probably never regular. Okay. Let's start with that. That's true. Yeah. I was like, I was like the worst student you could possibly find. I was definitely the worst athlete you could ever find, but I was actually only good at one thing, which was business and work.

And I always loved to, always from the time I was a kid, I loved business. I loved selling things. I loved working. And I started as an entrepreneur at a really young age. I was literally like, you know, eight years old, started selling vegetable seeds door to door or whenever it snowed like it's going to snow today, we'd do, you know, I'd have five kids working with me and I'd sell the snow shoveling. I was selling baseball cards, but to my friend's parents, not to my friends.

And it's just like, it was the only thing I was good at. Did you watch anything about the Firefest documentary and all that stuff? You know, I watched no TV, but I was forced to watch that by my girlfriend last week. So I could watch it. So I actually, I just thought of this, do you think that if you grew up in the social media age, you might have been Billy McFarland because you would have gotten like the trappings of Instagram? You know, the truth be told, and I'll just be blunt about this when you're, and I don't

know anything about him, but I do think when I was much, you know, I'm now 46, when I was in my teens, it's easy to do dumb shit. Right. And people who say it's not just don't get it. So you can make mistakes. I remember as a kid, you know, I would, you know, write checks that I didn't have the money for, you know, because I was 15 years old and you were trying to, you knew the bank took three days, you know, for a check to clear and you'd hope that you have three days

of sales by the time the check cleared. So do I think it's easy as a young entrepreneur to screw stuff up if you don't have the right people around you and the right people to learn from? I do. Right. Now I think you're selling yourself a little bit short athletics wise because I saw your jump shot that you were shooting around before the All Star game with Joel and Bede. And you nailed it.

You nailed three. I'll tell you your form, I'll tell you your form pretty good. I thought my form was awful. So the story of that is, you know, Joel walked over to me and he basically said, I'll give you five shots for an undisclosed amount of money. It was a meaningful amount of money. I said, let's go. I made him the first shot.

Then I said, and then I said, let's go double, actually, then I said, let's go actually five times the bet. He said, fine, five shots. I was over five. I didn't hit the rim. So yeah. I walked away. Yeah.

That's a big part of business. I didn't want to walk away. Now Joel's got like a little ATM from my gambling losses. So I did a little bit of research on your background. They were only a little losses. Yeah. There you go. The gentleman's wager.

Undisclosed amount of money always means a small amount. It was actually Krispy Kreme donuts we were using. There we go. Okay. Smart. Smart. So that's right. You get around salary cap stuff that way, right?

But donuts are allowed. Yeah. But I did a little bit of research on your background and I read that you, what you owned a ski shop when you were, what, 12 years old? Yeah. You're the owner. What were you like as a boss at the age of 12? Well, 12, I didn't really have any employees.

What happened was I opened a ski tuning shop in my parents' basement where I kind of fixed skis. I did that first year at 12 years old. Then I actually had a bunch of people who lent me their excess ski equipment at 13. I actually did $25,000 in my parents' basement, by the way, most profitable year of my entire business career. If you'd say I've not been in business for like 40 years or 38 years, those are the highest gross margins.

At least the aggravation I've ever had. I think I had like $25,000 in revenue and $15,000 in profits. And then a year later, I opened a ski shop about five minutes from my parents' house and then I hired people for the first time. I actually think I was a great boss as a kid because I was always learning from people. I always created the right environment. You know, I've got a lot of good skills and a lot of bad skills, but I think creating the right environment is something I was actually always pretty decent at.

Okay. So fast forward the ski shop. You've talked about this, but basically it was your first failure. You find out what failure kind of tastes like and bounce back from it. And tell me how, like, I don't actually, I don't think we even got into this, how fanatics kind of came together and how that entire process, because it seems like that was something that was very on the cutting edge and ahead of the curve in terms of, you know, where online business is going and how people shop online.

Yeah. So I started a company in 1998 called GSI Commerce. And GSI Commerce became really the largest provider of e-commerce and marketing services to big retailers and big brands. So what that means in like simple terms is like a company like Ralph Lauren or Toys R Us or GNC used GSI to run most, if not all aspects of its e-commerce business. As part of that business, we worked with the five sports leagues. We had the NFL shop, the NBA store, the NHL store, Major League Baseball store, NASCAR.

And so I sold the company to eBay for $2.4 billion in 2011. And when they bought the company, they didn't want the businesses that we had that owned inventory. So I bought back three businesses from eBay, including fanatics. So in 2011, I bought back fanatics from eBay. It was a pretty small company that was only about $250 million. And then we completely reinvented the business from 2011 to what it looks like today. Interesting.

How much do you think it's in the name? I was thinking about the other day. Yeah. Fanatics is like this. That's the name. Like that's the name for any kind of shop. Like it says everything right there. I think it's a great brand.

I think it's a great name, but I think that's not what's made the company so successful. I think what made the company so successful, and by the way, we're just getting started, so I don't want to say it's so successful. It's made it, given it the success we've had to date, has really been, we've had this huge appreciation that there are two companies that are taking over the world from a retail perspective. One is Amazon, another is Alibaba, which is kind of the biggest e-commerce company in China.

Our belief was that there was no way to really compete with these companies in e-commerce if you weren't completely differentiated. So we built a model that was completely differentiated from Amazon and Alibaba. And I'll tell you, people look at me and ask me Amazon questions all the time. I'm like, hey, if it wasn't for their incredible success, we wouldn't have built the business that we built today. What makes us so different is most of what we sell is not available through other market places.

And we have this incredible sort of merchandise, more than a million SKUs in every league, every size, every product, every way you contemplate it, generally in stock for whatever the sports fan wants. And that incredible sort of merchandise is really driving the licensed sports business because prior to the advent of the internet, all this inventory wasn't available. And we do it in a vertical basis, which allows us to better supply the fan and it allows us to have unique and differentiated merchandise. And the most exciting thing, we feel like we're just getting started.

Like this company, we think we've got so much growth ahead of us. Throwbacks. We need more throwbacks. We're now expanding to college in a big way, we're expanding to soccer in a big way, we're globalizing in a big way. And we've got big growth in our core businesses. I mean, last year, take the NFL as an example, we actually grew by nearly 30% last year. So massive growth across the board.

Throwback. So like hoodless sweatshirt throwbacks. Maybe we could actually license Big Cat's name, we could actually do Big Cat throwbacks. That would be great. I mean, that's, you need that. You also, if you throw in a Looney Tunes character, I'm more likely to buy it. Yeah. To represent yourself.

Yeah. It makes sense. Short shorts are coming back too. Yeah. So get on the, get on like the front step of that, like short shorts and basketball. So long as I don't have to wear them, we're good. I didn't have anything big bagging long these days. You guys do the NCAA championship basketball shirts?

Yes. Have you done it in the past? I believe so. I don't know. Because that was the one thing I always beat Ravel on, he got so mad. Because I had a source, deep, a deep, deep inside source who would send me the mockups before the championship game. Well, you know, last, last time I saw you when we did Alex's show together, you asked

me if we could give you like one, once a year. Yes. I committed that we'd find one thing to. Okay. So you still owe it to us. Yeah, I owe it to you for sure. Okay. That, that actually is going to happen.

All right. So Fanatic's fantastic company. Everyone knows it. You then go into doing what basically the dream for every rich guy. And that is to be a part of owning a team. I own a team myself, but whatever that's beside the point. How is the process from an ownership standpoint, like were there dark times where you're like, this might never work.

Like we might just be being bad every single year. Yeah. So, you know, I would say in any business that I've been involved with, and I think the Sixers was no different, we think long term. And so I think for, for, you know, whether the way I build Fanatics or rule along guilt that I own or shop runner, we think about where's the business going to be in five years and 10 years. And I think David and Josh, that we want to, you know, adopt a similar long term mentality

toward the Sixers. And I think certainly you always want to win when you're not winning. It's not fun. But I think we always had, you know, we were, you know, I think David and Josh and, and I think the organization was always confident in its, you know, long term plans. Right. Right. And I've always wondered how different sports owners approach the actual ownership of the

team. I'm sure there are varying opinions out there, but for you personally, like how much, how much time do you spend worrying about the product on the court as opposed to, you know, making money on everything else? Because obviously you bought the, the team to turn a profit on it, right? Yeah. I think most, I think most owners in sports are much more focused on winning than they are on making money from the business.

And the best owners focus on both. And you take, like, look, a dear friend of mine who you guys have a lot of respect for is, you know, the craft family. And nobody knows how to win and run a good business better than the crafts. And you know, that's probably the model in sports. If you'd say, who do you want to model yourself off of? You want to look and say, Hey, the Patriots, you know, they've been the Super Bowl 10 times past 25 years.

They've won six Super Bowls and they have a really successful business. That's who you want to model yourself off of. But I think a lot of people, to be honest, I think that they think winning first. And if you win, then profits follow. I think that's generally the right mentality in sports overall. The process is always interesting to me because it's obviously not complete. I don't think it becomes complete until the Sixers win a title. Then you can say, well, that all worked.

But it's funny to watch other teams, like it's not new that if you lose, you get a high pick and then you can kind of rebuild. But the Sixers were sort of the first team to do it in a very like, like open way. Like, Hey, this is exactly what we're going to do. We're going to stink. And eventually it's going to be better just, just trust it and trust that it's going to suck for a while. Cause most teams, I think most owners get like halfway in, they're like, oh, we want

to rebuild. But then they, then they start sucking for a little bit and like, no way, wait, wait, we don't want to do this. This sucks. Look for, it's funny from my perspective again, look at the end of the day, it's Josh Harris and Dave Blitzer who are the two majority partners who have kind of run, run the team. But I'll tell you from my perspective, I don't even think about the process. I just think about like, look, we want to win long term.

We were stuck in the middle. We had, we, you know, Josh and David said, what are we going to do to make sure we're going to win long term? And I think everyone was aligned toward that. And I think it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, you know, I think we're in a better position today. Yeah. So we were a few years ago and, you know, as you said, you haven't accomplished shit

until you actually win. Right. Like, you know what, you got to win trophies. That's what, that's what, that's what the city of Philadelphia wants. That's what any sports owner wants. That's what any sports fans want. That's why FedEx business is built on, you know, winning championships is what sells merchandise.

What do you feel though, knowing I saw that Sports Illustrated, I actually saw it on your Instagram, the Sports Illustrated cover, the sixes that are all in, like, is there, is there nerves now? Like, Hey, this is it. This is, you guys have young talent that will be good for a while. But when you kind of make a few trades in season and say, this is going to be our big push, I love when teams do it, but it's got to be nerve wracking. Yeah.

Look, I think Elton started, look, I got to say a second, um, Elton, I think is doing an amazing job. And I think, um, you know, Josh, you know, made a, you know, great selection picking Elton. Um, but, you know, from my perspective, anytime the stakes are higher than the pressure is higher. And, but, you know what, I think, you know, we've got a, you know, I think we've got a, you know, I think the city of Philadelphia is really behind the sixes. I'll be honest with you.

When, when the team was acquired by our group in 2011, we were the fourth team in the market. It was 100%. It was Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, Sixers today without question, it's Eagles Sixers. And so the fandom of, of the six incredible, we've got from the fourth team to the second team in the market from just total fandom and, and you know, there's a huge momentum for this. And it's probably almost impossible for any team to be the number one team in the market if there's an NFL team in that city.

Um, I think it, maybe they're going to say Warriors. Yeah. Oakland. Yeah. They're leaving. San Francisco. Like that's a weird. Yeah.

That's probably right. But I just didn't want to, I mean, LA, LA obviously. I don't want to let you get away with anything. No. LA is right. But I'm saying it's, it's very hard to compete with the NFL. The NFL remains king and we, we, you know, thump our chest about that. I'm going to grill you here for a second.

First of all, do you prefer the, the, the term billionaire or person of wealth? Neither. Neither. Person of means. Person of means. How much was saying billionaire? We don't use the B word anymore. It's insulting.

You know, it sounds, I don't get insulted by anything. I would actually like you to try to insult me. It's because you're a person of means. Okay. Yeah. First off to insult the first question. Billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums. Um, great question.

Thank you. By the way, great question. I invented that one. Great question. Yeah. I think every situation is different. And I think there's sometimes this warrant. And I think there's sometimes that, that you really need the community's help.

And I think it really is a case by case situation. That's not me trying to cop out and not give you a real answer. It's not, there's one answer. It's not one size. It's not black and white. Yeah. It's not. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't even know that's socially correct anymore. So I. No, it's not. There's a lot of gray. There's a lot of gray. There's a lot of gray. You can't say that in Pittsburgh.

Well, and also 50 shades of gray is like, it's a little problematic. All right. Yeah. We're down to rabbit hole here. All right. So do you, we were talking beforehand. The end goal. That was the grill question.

No, no. Second question. My bad. My bad. I was so down on the grill. We're in the grill. So fired up. So I know that obviously like social justice and, you know, criminal justice reform is

a big thing that you're interested in. But I also know that like a lot of politicians that might support you in that are also the same politicians that look at persons of means and say, okay, it's time to implement a higher marginal tax rate against you. How do you, how do you like balance that? Because I'm sure you wouldn't want somebody to become president who's looking at your wallet like it's a snack, but at the same time, you might support some other things that they're doing.

Yeah. You know, it's funny and people don't believe this about me. I had negative. Like I didn't, I have, first of all, I have no interest in politics. I literally don't. And I, people, no, no, no, my friends laugh at me all the time. They're like, they can't believe how little that I know. I didn't even know who the governor of Pennsylvania was until I met him at, when we bought Majestic,

the baseball uniform company, we were announcing the acquisition where the commissioner Rob Manfred came down to the announcement and the governor came because it was based in the big manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania. I met Tom Wolf for the first time there. He's become a huge ally of what we're doing in criminal justice reform and he sees the huge issues that my eyes were open to his eyes were up until, but I even know who it was before I met him for the first time when we bought Majestic. I couldn't name the governors in, you know, probably 47, 50 states, I don't think most

people can. Maybe I might even be 48 Lincoln, Shafi. Yeah. Yeah. But Michael Rubin, 2028, 0.0 chance. Every rich guy always like, they always say that 0.0 0.0, like this taste of, of, I have no power. Money's cool.

Power's awesome. I got to say this thing. There's no, there's no job I would like less than being the president of the United States. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. By the way, brutal job. Brutal. Brutal job.

Yes. And I got to say this thing. For me, what I like, I love building our businesses. I love, like, I had no, by the way, there was never a cause I didn't, he didn't interest him. If, if what happened to me didn't happen to him and it was somebody I didn't know where I saw it on the news, I would have never gotten involved. It was just, he was such a good friend of mine and I saw it first hand, it was so offensive

how screwed he was getting that I got sucked into his situation and then when I got sucked into his situation, then I saw how bad the whole system was and I'm like, wow, we got to fix this thing. Right. But it wasn't like, I wasn't some good human being looking to make the world a better place. I just kind of, I fell into it because it was, you spack me in the face. Right. You saw what, you saw an issue that was, that needed fixing and you said, hey, I can help

fix this. And can you maybe explain to some of the people that aren't as aware as we are of like the ways that you've helped make the ways that you've like impacted the community of Philadelphia, what you've been up to? Yeah, sure. So, so Meek, you know, it had been, you know, we met, I think five years ago at an NBA All Star game and we were actually joking about this week and how that, you know, games kind of, you know, changed each of our, our lives a bit.

But you know, we, you know, we met actually when the team, the Sixers were not performing as well as we are today and, you know, Meek was a giant Sixers fan, he'd come to a lot of games. The first thing that happened, which was really odd to me was maybe, I don't know, three, four years ago, we were, you know, maybe been to his 10th, 15th game. And you know, I said, Hey, I'm going to the Purgata tonight. I said, do you want to come? He said, I'd love to, but I'm not allowed.

I'm like, do you need permission from your mom? Like, what do you mean you're not allowed? He's like, I'm on probation. I'm like, wait, how's probation work? You can't, you can't go across the bridge to go to the Purgata. He's like, Michael, I'll get arrested. If I go to, you know, if I go with you to Purgata, like, I'd love to go, but I can't go.

And that was like the first time I'm like, here's this guy who like I've known now for like a year or two. He's a good guy. Wait a minute. He can't cross the bridge without getting arrested. And you know, long story short, because we could talk about this for hours, um, he, you know, he'd become one of my really close guy friends, you know, like, you know, we talked probably the year before everything went down with him and probably talked to

the phone 300 of the 365 days, you know, he was around all the time, came to our games. He'd come on trips with me, he was at my house a lot. And you know, the summer of 2017, I was making fun of him a lot. I'm like, Yo bro, do you need a job? Like why are you always around? Like, I like, you're like, get a job. Like what's up? And he'd be like, Michael, like, I like, I know you're some, you know, I'm, there's

a hit where it's not mine. Some successful guy from, you know, the suburbs, but like, like, I'm not allowed to leave. I'm going to get arrested. And so it started to really like, now he's like one of my really good friends. I'm like, I'm annoyed that he's not allowed to work. He's got, you know, a kid who depends on him. He's got his, his mom and his family and so many friends who work for him. And at the same time, 2017, he had two really minor incidents.

He had popped a wheelie in New York City on a motorcycle and he was so bold that he put it on social media. Just a Philadelphia hello. Yeah. Right. For sure. And he was so bold that he put on social media. And the next day, 21 police officers showed up to a celebrity basketball game, we said.

He thought they came to give him a police escort. Literally. So police were coming to give him a police escort and they arrested him for, for, for pop of the wheelie and put it on social media the day before. And then he was in a, there was a fight in an airport where one of his friends got jumped guy who, who this guy, this guy, she knows great kids, like 130, 140 pound kid. And he got jumped by a couple of guys who worked in the airport. Meek went to help him.

And of course they arrested me because he was the black rapper. They then looked at the surveillance, saw that he didn't start the fight. And in both cases, they were, you know, all the charges were dropped. Right. He had traffic ticket one, nothing in the other. So the judge was able to bring him in, um, on a probation violation for that. And so I wrote a letter to the judge talking about my relationship with him, the background I had, you know, my involvement with the, the sixers, you know, that I built, you know,

GSI commerce, you know, that Pennsylvania back company just bought majestic, big operation in Easton, Pennsylvania. And long story short, I thought she'd see the letter. She'd, you know, she'd, you know, give it a little bit of value. No response. Meek called me the Monday morning of his hearing said, Hey, like, if you have time, could you come to this thing? And I'm like, you know what, I'll come.

And it was, you know, he lives really close to me. So I went to the hearing and that, that day, November 6th, 2017, it changed my life in the most radical ways. Um, I went to this court hearing first, the judge shut up 45 minutes later. Um, then she, it was supposed to start at one, she shut up like 145. She was on her time. She didn't care about anybody else, um, probation officer walks in and says, what a great guy he is.

Um, he's done everything they've asked. He's a model probationer, recommends no sense. DA gets up, district attorney says we recommend no sense. So I looked at the lawyers and look, why are we here? Like, oh, listen, the good news is they've never in the history of law, they've never had someone with a DA probation officer recommend no sense and they've sentenced them. So we're like now three hours into this thing, which supposed to be like a 15 minute probation hearing.

And, um, she says I'm sentencing you, they say, Michael, can you get up and speak? I talked for like 10, 15 minutes about my relationship with him, how well I know him, what a good guy he is, how he's bringing communities together. No, definitely when you met him, the way, like, he's a uniter of people and, um, and she just doesn't even look, look me in the eyes. And then she says two to four years to stay prison. I was like, that was like literally got hit in the head with a baseball bat and the whole thing was like surreal.

Like, I'm like, you know, here he is, he's taking his watch off, they're putting him in handcuffs, they're taking him away from me. And I looked at him and I'm like, I won't stop till I get you out of jail until she's off the bench. It's like a Hollywood movie. And it kind of honestly, it is, it really is. And then fortunately there was this woman I never met before named Desiree Perez, Jay-Z's, you know, right hand.

She's sitting next to me. She's like, yeah, I'm Des. We talked on the phone once, um, I won't stop till he gets out. And basically, you know, Jay and I joined forces and said, we're not stopping till this guy's out of prison. And I literally, like, I couldn't, I was like, I couldn't think about anything other than that. Cause like when you see someone so close to you, get so screwed over.

It wasn't like, by the way, if he does something wrong, I'd be like, bro, I love you. You're still my boy, but see you later. Right. This is a guy who popped a reel and broke up a fight and just got sent to jail for two to four years. And so originally I thought it was just this crazy judge. And by the way, this woman is a batch of crazy, right?

Okay. She's crazy as you can get. That said, what I realized is two months later, three months later, actually at the Super Bowl of 2000 and Super Bowl, you know, a year ago, Eagles were playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl. And literally one of the two original arresting officers from what he was charged for when he was 19, he's now 31 years old, when he was 19, he was arrested for pointing a gun at multiple police officers.

And anytime you tell someone who actually is intelligent, I wasn't that, hey, some, you know, black kid pointing a gun at multiple cops, they'd say, yeah, that never happened because you'd be dead because cops are trained, their job is to, you know, they can't let someone point a gun at them or they won't be here. So one of the two arresting cop officers came forward and said, no, the whole thing's a lie. He never pointed the gun. And then he signed it after David.

Then a week later, the Philadelphia Acquirer, the Philadelphia paper exposed a list that said that there were so many, that there was a list of cops that were too dirty to testify. And his original arresting officer, the other cop was topped with a list of officers too dirty to testify. So I call him like, yo bro, great news, you're going to be out of prison the next couple of days. That was Super Bowl two, you know, Eagles Super Bowl 2018. And literally, I had no clue what I was talking about because now we had an affidavit saying

he didn't commit the crime. It's not like the next day, boom, you're out. The wheels of justice turned slowly. Yes. Occasionally. Slowly. There's no wheels of justice. They're like, keep them locked up forever.

So DA now comes in and tries to throw the case out. The judge says, no, I'm not throwing the case out. It takes another three months to get him out of prison. And that's when Meek and I both talked every day and said, look, as soon as you get out of the situation, we need to start a movement to fix the criminal justice system, which is fundamentally broken because I thought it was originally about him, but he was an incredible example of a completely broken system. So what are you guys doing now?

You guys just announced something huge. Yeah, we did. So basically myself, Meek, Jay-Z, Robert Kraft, Dan Loeb, Mike Novogratz, Clara Sy and Robert Smith put $50 million, about $50 million into a new alliance slash foundation that we just started, which is 100% focused on, so there's 6.7 million people in the criminal justice system today, 2.2 million are in prison and jail, 4.5 billion are on probation and parole. The thing that's kind of stalked Meek's entire life is the probation and parole system being fundamentally broken.

So Meek has been on probation his entire adult life. So if Meek goes out and smokes a joint, he's going to jail. That sucks. It's tough. Right? If Meek doesn't show up to see his probation officer, he's going to jail. So what I had no idea, by the way, America has five times the rate of incarceration of the whole rest of the world.

So what we're focused on doing is 100% on the probation and parole problem. And so there's 4.5 million people, which is 2 thirds of the criminal justice system. We're focused on how do we change the laws and the policies that make no sense so that the people that are on probation and parole in the future, the people that should be, and we want to get at least a million people out of the system over the next five years. So we've hired Van Jones to run this. He's incredible. He's dedicated his entire adult life to criminal justice reform.

And I'd say Meek has taken this on as a life mission. I've taken this on as a life mission. We have eight incredible partners, and we want to get a million people out of the system. We're not playing around. That is great. So you said that you guys donated, what, $50 million to this? I'm currently in the system right now. I was arrested at the Super Bowl.

Nope. Just wondering how much money you have on you right now. Maybe I could just take out the middleman. He wasn't. No, I got arrested at media night. He was held. I was detained. Don't worry about it.

Slashed, arrested. Yeah. He never was handcuffed. Listen, we got you. He's actually making fun of the criminal justice system by appropriating the culture. No, I'm not. I'm saying I've dealt with my fair share of issues. So do you and Meek have an understanding where, okay, you helped him out.

You were a big voice for helping him to get him out of prison. Do you get to listen to his new songs before they come out now? It's funny. Before any of this happened, Meek would always, when he was doing a new song, he'd walk me through it just to try to explain to me, because he knows I know so little about music, like a nothing, really. And he'd try, as he'd say, he'd have to break it down to me. So that's something he's probably done in five or 10 different situations.

We'd just be together and be like, oh, listen to this new song, and I'd be like, and he'd be explaining to me like verse by line by line, because I'm like literally no understanding of music. So I do, I have learned about many of his songs from him walking me through the song and explaining it to me, because I don't have the common sense to understand it on my own. Sometimes that's better, though, if you get somebody that isn't like a music snob and you play them a song, if they like it, then you know it's a banger, right? Yeah, I would say if I liked it's probably a bad sign.

I'm not a music guy. Before Meek and I became really good friends, there's only two rappers that I actually liked, which was Eminem and Jay-Z. I've probably listened to their music 100% of the time. Now I've added a few more to the list, but I'm not like a, you know, I really don't listen to music unless I'm out on a boys' side or doing something fun or something like that. Right, right.

You know, every once in a while when I run outside, I listen to music. Other than that, I'm not a big music guy. What about your other best friend, Robert Kraft? How many shirts with like white collars, blue shirts with white collars does he own? Well, you know, the market share of those shirts are actually decreasing within his closet, because I've converted him to hoodies. Oh yeah, you've seen that. So the hoodie conversion, I think I've had, I think he would give me 100% credit on the

hoodie conversion. I think we've got hoodies now, like a 32% market share of his wardrobe. That's one of the coolest things you can do as a rich guy is one, be able to wear hoodies and make it look good, but two, be able to wear suits with sneakers and have everyone be like, that's awesome. Whereas if we do it, we're, we're, we're slumps. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, look, I actually think Robert's done a great, he's done a great, great

thing for the sneaker community because I actually hate, like I only wear sneakers. I've only worn sneakers for, like I wear sneakers to everything and I've done it forever because I don't like shoes that are comfortable. Like I want my feet to be comfortable. Like I'm getting old. I deserve to be comfortable. Right. And you know, Robert's worn sneakers.

He's worn sneakers for as long as I've known him and he's made it cool and I think so many other people are doing it now. I think he actually kind of kicked that off. So I think I give him 100% credit for the, for this sneaker revolution for guys wearing those suits. I take, I'll take credit for converting him to hoodies. Okay. They are very cool.

The white collar with the blue shirt. That's like a flex look. That's a rich guy look. I'll leave that with him. Yes. Well, you probably, you might have PTSD when it comes to different types of collars given what you went through with Colangelo. How surreal was that, that whole situation?

You know what? In sports, you see crazy stuff all the time. I'll say one thing. I say to people all the time, I've said this for, anyone who knows when I've said this for decades, nothing phases me. If you came in right now and said there was a nuclear bomb coming, I'm like, okay, how are we dealing with it? What are we doing?

I'm just, I don't like, I'm just nothing like, I've seen so many things I've seen. Well, you're going to the bio dome and surviving and we're fine. I got you. I think we're in a great room right now. We'd be great here, but like my mentality is like, I've been through so many near death experiences in business. I've had so many failures. I've had so many things go wrong in my life.

Stuff doesn't phase me. So like when you have an issue, how do you deal with it? And you move forward and that's it. There wasn't an, like the immediate shock of the story hitting. I'll tell you how I found out. How I found out is actually a great story. I think it's okay for me to say it now. So it's actually, I'm going to tell you the story here first.

So I was actually, I was with Meek and Colin Kaepernick. We were just having a discussion about just different thoughts that we had and Joel kept FaceTiming me and literally I'm like, I'm like, Joel, I'm in a meeting. What's up? And he told me that's how I found out. That's hilarious. Yeah. That's crazy.

And I'm sure he used, he was probably just as shocked as everyone else. But Joel, he was my news source. Yes. Yeah. Cause that was, yeah. That was a whole wild story. I want to wrap up with you owning an NFL team. Yeah.

So you're going to do it someday? I'd love to. Look, I'm a, I'm a, look, I'm a huge NBA fan. I'm a huge NFL fan. Those are the two sports that I kind of live and breathe for. I think it's a, you know, I think it's a, I think it's good opportunity. Obviously, everyone knows I went, you know, all in on trying to get the Panthers done, didn't get it done.

I'm not someone who like looks back and like, oh my God, I can't get it done. It's like, okay. I'm a young guy. I think, you know, it's a great opportunity. It's something I'd like to do in the future. So can we help, can we be part of your, uh, like board of advisors when you do it? I think we know football better than anyone else. The ins and outs, social media, how football works, what people want to see.

We could be part of your team. Yeah. I'm just going to say nothing for that. Okay. Listen, listen straight up. I negotiation tactic. He just pulled us. I've been reading art of the deal.

How's it working for you? Well, we'll find out by the end of this podcast. That was good. Don't answer his questions. Yeah, exactly. He has no idea how it's going. He has no idea that I haven't read a word. I did read, I did read, uh, think big and kick ass by Donald Trump told, he, uh, he

could have fucked Madonna, but he didn't. So that's my big takeaway from, um, no, but straight up, I'm going to own the Washington Redskins one day. So if you'd like to be part of my ownership group, are you doing the Gary Vee? What? Well, he does that with the Jets where he just says that even though it's like so far away from it. I've been saying that for the last six months.

I'm going to own the Washington Redskins one day and you're welcome to be part of your ownership group. You need an owner that wants to sell the team. And I think, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He can be motivated. I'm sure there's some, do you guys do blackmail as billionaires against other billionaires?

I'm sure we can blackmail. Blackmail is generally not a good strategy. Okay. All right. All right. We'll write that down. Yeah. Definitely not.

What generally happens with blackmail is you end up, you end up where Meek was in prison. Right. And that's not a place I like to be. Especially like guys like me would not do well in prison. Okay. We won't use the blackmail word, but he's definitely done some stuff that he would not be proud of to have exposed the light of day in the future.

But it's not blackmail. I'm just saying it so that he'll listen to it. He'll understand that I know that he knows that I know, again, not blackmail. But so it's interesting to talk about owning an NFL team because it's almost like you have to find yourself the right circumstance. Right. So like who knows when the next team is going to come up for sale and at that time it might be a team that's already, you know, significantly valued at, you know, $2, $3 billion, something

like that. At that point, wouldn't you be like, I'm not so sure that's a good investment at this time? So first off, I think that both, I think the NFL is a good business. And I think people know that it's a, I think as far as the, you know, the, the profitability of the teams, it's, you know, one could look at the NFL team and say, these aren't good business. It's a king.

It's king. Because they, because they are. And by the way, the NBA is becoming a great business as well. So these are, it's, if you, if you look at a sports team, you say, look, I love the sport. I think I can have a positive impact on the team and it can actually be a good business. That's a pretty exciting opportunity. Then what you've got to figure out is, you know, generally there's, you know, teams available, maybe a team, you know, every year or every other year.

So it's got to be the right situation for you. For me, you know, unfortunate to be a part owner of the Sixers because I grew up in Philadelphia. I worked between Philadelphia and New York. My daughter's in Philadelphia and that's a perfect situation. So you know, to me, if you said, Hey, look, you know, as an example, the Seattle Seahawks, which are, you know, people say are going to be sold over the next couple of years. That's not a great situation for me. It's in the Pacific Northwest.

I live in the Northeast. I have a daughter who's, you know, you know, here for, you know, she's not, you know, she's turning 13 next week. So that wouldn't be a good situation for me. So I think you need to figure out what's the right situation that works for you. That was a smart negotiation. Yeah. I know what he did right there.

Yeah. We don't want the Seahawks. We're not interested at all. Yeah. It's too far away. Plains don't exist. You know what? We'll walk right away from this deal.

Yeah. But you really do need to find the right situation for yourself, but I think you need to fit into a market. You need to have the situation be right. Yeah. So what happens when you own a team and then you have to face off against your best friend, Robert Kraft? Well, it's the same thing happens when I'm, you know, look, by the way, the guy who owns

the Celtics today, which is our complete arch rival, you know, we hate each other when we play each other. But other than that, you know, I love Wiccan, you know, for Robert Kraft, you know, it's my, probably my, literally my closest guy friend, and we talk five times a day every day. And you know, I'm sure if we each own teams when we're playing each other, we, we love each other except we've been played and then we each want to kill each other for that, for that, you know, for that three plus hours.

You talk five times a day to Robert Kraft? Probably. Wow. That's kind of weird. How many times to Tom Brady? Zero. How many did, have you spent? How many dinners have you had with Tom Brady?

Only a few times when he's with Robert. That's yeah. Only. What about Bill Belchak? Bill's quiet. Yes. No, he's actually really funny. He is very quiet.

We've been told. Yes. He's very quiet. Yeah. What do you talk about with Robert Kraft five times a day? It's like, Hey, what did you do? Oh, I just got done with that meeting that I told you I was going to. Like, how does that go?

It's just, it's. You're talking texting, right? Like, not phone calls. No, we talk. Robert. Robert. Okay. That's crazy.

I have friends. By the way, I talked to, I have a couple of friends, like, we, you know, different things, whether it's things he's running past me, things I'm running past him. He's like a, Robert is, we call, he's my little brother. He's not even my big brother. He's literally, he's, he's a kid inside and he's, he's fun and he's, you know, it's, it's, you know, you know, I'm driving home. He calls me.

He's driving to his team meetings in the morning. He calls me. So I need to call you more. Listen to that. I mean. I texted you. I feel. I feel.

Okay. That's a weird move to call. Yeah. To the text. Well, it depends. But I think you, first of all, I'm a massive taxer. Yeah. I don't talk to a lot of people on the phone.

The people I, it's a small group of people I do talk to on the phone, but, you know, I talked to, by the way, I talked to, I talked to Joao a lot of the phone. I talked to, I talked to Mika a lot of the phone. I have a couple of other friends I talked to a lot of the phone. It's just depends who it is. There's always, there's always stuff going on, by the way. Robert and I do a lot of stuff together, but he's a big guy in logistics. So like he's always like, he's, and he's always changing his mind and what he wants

to do. Right. And so we're, you know, we're always talking about what, what plants we're doing and stuff like that. Yeah. How long would have to elapse for you to be concerned about Robert Kraft? Like if he didn't call you for 12 hours, would you be like, is he okay? Well, the real story, he would tell you the same thing.

It goes the other way, right? It would be, if he doesn't hear from me past like, you know, nine o'clock in the morning, he'd be worried about my wellbeing. Right. Like where is it? There's been a few times in the last year on my, I had late nights out and, and I've, you know, I woke up a little late later. I've been a little bit hurting and he'd be like, just want to make sure everything's

okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. My last question, everyone gave me shit for this cause I asked how much money was in your pocket when you were on A-Rod Corp and I didn't take the money. So give me all the money that you have right now. Done.

Fuck you. It's always the same amount. No, I'm not taking it. God damn it. No, I'm not taking it. Damn it. I thought you were going to have none and I was going to get off the hook. Call it off.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll take a couple of hunts. Fine. All right. You got any other questions? I was going to ask the same thing. That sucks. Now he's got zero. So I don't have to take it.

Uh, no. Someday I'm going to take the money out of your pocket. Oh yeah. I have a question. Someday we'll do that. What do you tip? Yeah. What do you tip at a restaurant?

So I have a very, um, I have my own philosophy. It's what I think is right and I always, I've done this forever. It sounds, and I do it for a specific reason. So I always, first of all, anytime I tip, I generally 90 and I tip lots and lots of things. I always give a hundred dollar bills out and there's a reason for it. I think if you do nice things, it comes back around you. So I give out a ton of hundred dollars. Like I go, someone takes my bags upstairs.

I give a hundred dollars. That's fucking awesome. I tell you why. Cause I really believe if you do nice things, it comes back around. So at a restaurant, if it's a little bill, I give a hundred. If it's a big, big bill, um, I'm a very good tipper, but not because I'm trying to waste money. It's because I'm trying to help people.

And I think if you do nice things that comes back around, I'm a big believer in aura and I believe like, Hey, if we have good horror and we help lots of people, we're going to get back good stuff. I like that. That's the coolest part about being rich, being able to make it rain on people. I'm just not caring about percentages. You probably save a lot of time not having to calculate like 25% of a bill. You can just be like, ah, it feels like a hundred to me.

Here you go. I will tell you on site at Saturday night, we were after a long night out at the NBA All-Star game, actually giving out all the money in my pocket. I always keep this. I always start with the same amount of money when I go out for a night and I ran out of money. So actually we were all in the lobby, a bunch of people hanging out, um, just in the lobby of the, of the Ritz and I ran out of money.

I actually started giving me some money out as well. I was very aggressive. I need to be there for that. Yeah. That would have been nice. All right. Michael Rubin. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it. What's up? It's condom o'clock. That's right. We're into March and I'm talking about rubbers. We're talking Trojan condoms again, guys. That can only mean one thing. The madness of March that is the college basketball championships is here and whether you're planning

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That is something that your significant other will be very happy with you. If you bring home a nice little treat of a little buzz, a little buzz pal, yeah, you're going to be out of the doghouse for sure. Listen, spring's in the air and we get it. It's a season for going at it like bunnies and if you're like us, you want a defense that works as hard for you as Trojan condoms. To win, you must be 18 years old or older with US residents. Go to at Trojan condoms on Twitter, check out the link in the contest tweet for official

rules. Contest entry period will be open until 1159 Eastern time on April 8th, 2019. Get you a rubber, get you a buzzer. That interview was also brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings. How are you spending your March this year? Where are you watching the tournament? You streaming in your office? It's the greatest sporting event on the planet and you're stuck watching it in a work hole.

I'm going to go off script here for a second because I do love- Go off, King. Okay, here it comes because I love Buffalo Wild Wings. I've loved it ever since I was a little bitty boy. I love their wings. Every time I'm there, I always get the same thing. Ever since you were the size of a wing. The size of a wing.

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Get rabid, get heated, bear hug a stranger, and scream until we bust all our brackets. Buffalo Wild Wings. Okay. Let's get to some segments. We have a lot of good segments, a lot of good segments here at PFT. Big sports day. Another way to send the people off on a great Friday show. Let's start with our favorite season because it's always in season.

It's ass-eating season. Ooh, that was ass-licking. That was a father bean. I hate this liver. Barry Switzer has gotten in on ass-eating season and if I had to tell you who's ass he ate, at what point would you say Edward? I think it'd be number two. Yeah.

Okay. So he tweeted this. Get it. They were talking about Tim Kalashon and Edward were reminiscing about Barry Switzer getting the Cowboys job after Jimmy Johnson got fired or left. Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson couldn't coexist. Well, so Barry Switzer's a big, I don't talk about another man's job kind of guy. Right.

Old school. So what happened was Jerry calls Barry while Jimmy is still the coach, right? Yeah. And Jerry's like, how would you feel about coming down here and coaching Dallas football Cowboys? And Barry says, I didn't know the job was open, hung up on him. And so then Jerry fired him the next day, called him back. He's like, hey, now you want to talk?

Yeah. Let's go. And so they were reminiscing on Twitter and Edward and Tim Kalashaw basically said they were, they didn't believe it when they heard it and Barry Switzer responded, if Jerry had not made that call, never got to know your ass or Ed always thought you guys were pretty fair. Only eat Ed's ass out one time. Let him tell you about it.

You can ball as well with you too. So yeah, the best part is he's like, let Ed tell the world about the time I ate his ass out. Right. Well, it's hard to believe that Ed would let Barry eat his ass out because Ed is not a fan of toilet mouths as we've heard in the past. Yes. That's true.

No swearing on his feed. The reason why I love this tweet is Barry Switzer has no idea what he did with this tweet, but I 100% guarantee you that Barry Switzer back in his heyday was a big ass eating guy. Oh, yes. He was. He was a big guy. Those fur coats. Yeah.

He was winning all those rings in Oklahoma, getting loose with it, eating ass. That's what he did. So when he got to Dallas, he's like, who's ass I got to eat? Oh, Edward. There you go. Yeah. Everybody thought that Barry was always super, super hungover, right? Because he had the red watery eyes and he was, he was, but also he had pink eye the entire

time. He was double cost. He was double cost. He was after a long night in Sochi. Yes. Yeah. So I'm not surprised at all that Barry would tweet something like this out. He's probably liquored up when he did it anyways.

And that's just Barry. Yeah. And when you're a football coach, you just, you throw the word ass into any sentence and just kind of let the ass fall where it may in the middle of your word salad and it typically makes sense. In this case, it kind of caught up with him. It just goes, yeah. You just throw an ass.

It basically just becomes a crutch for the English language and you're like, oh, every third word ass. I also like how he tweets the way that he talks. Oh, yeah. He just leaves words out. So he's like, I'll let him tell you about that one. He's just like, let him tell you about that. Yeah.

Let me tell you about that. You too. All right. Next up, we have Shiano man. So Greg Shiano was hired as defensive coordinator for the New England Patriots, then out of nowhere. Well, he wasn't really hired. They never made the announcement.

Okay. So they, this classic Patriots move to just kind of let the press talk about it. He was in the building and he was working, but they never put out an official release saying that Greg Shiano is our defensive coordinator. Interesting. But yes, he's gone. He's, he left abruptly today after spending like a quarter of the off season there. Yep.

So Shiano turned around that defense in record time. So what happens to Shiano men like, like us? I think we have to remain vigilant. We have to find him a new job. Can I throw something out there right now? I don't know what's happening with Greg Shiano. We have no details. It was a little murky, hopefully no one's sick or anything like that.

But Brett Bielma, defensive coordinator. That's what it looks like actually. Burt is going to be back. Yeah. Listen, Brett Bielma on a sideline is just a joy. He's just a giant Matt Patricia. Yes. He's just, if you stretched him out and then just thickened him up again.

Bill Belichick trying to yell it like around and through, but Brett Bielma will be so fantastic. Oh, yeah. There's no getting through Bielma. No. It's just not happening. He's a wall of sound. Yes. I think that the Patriots might not even look to get a defense coordinator.

They might just get a director of photography. That's your, that's your main job, right? Liam, anything about that? Hank, no comment. This is where Hank would get mad. Yeah. But just mad for Hank. Yeah.

Be Hank. Be Hank real quick. Hank, they're probably just going to hire a director of photography to take illegal videos. It's a good one. Yeah. Okay. That was pretty good.

That was pretty good. Get Scorsese on there. It was fine. Like the final scene departed. Yes. It'll just be Eric Mangini scurrying across the balcony. He said the rat. Yeah.

I would accept that job. Oh, there we go. Throw in his name. Also, Shiano to the AAF. Why not? Why not? Well, the, the M&M rule of letting players play each other. So play and coach.

Yeah. They need players because you're not going to be able to pay them. I think Shiano could probably play. By the way, rest in peace AAF moment of silence. That one, that one Saturday in February, that was awesome. Ready? Here we go. Moment of silence.

Okay. That was a moment of silence for the AAF. There we go. The AAF. We're XFL guys now. We've moved on. Onto the next. All right.

Next up, we have thoughts and prayers. Dion Sanders. So I think he has a memoir out. In the memoir, he basically said that he had it all, but he was hollow inside. He had nothing. He was depressed and he was talking rock bottom for me was just being in the midst of a game when everybody's screaming when they don't know your middle name. That's kind of a weird thing.

Rock bottom for me was having a hundreds of seats not cover that was it was having hundreds of seats not cover the pain. Okay. Rock bottom for me was hundreds of pairs of shoes, but not being able to take a step in the right direction. That's poetic. This is Mike Tomlin stuff right here or a Lannis Morcette slash Mike Tomlin. Rock bottom for me was having 10 cars that weren't going nowhere.

Rock bottom for me was 14,000 square foot house, but never feeling at home. That's a good one. This is. This is ironic. Yes, this is right. Rock bottom for me was laying between two or three women at a time, but you get up unsatisfied. Thoughts and prayers to Dion for all the reasons. Honestly, I kind of agree with that.

If you're having one threesome, that's probably cool. But if you're having multiple threesome all the time, that's a lot of work. Right. I would. I wouldn't want you. Yeah, that's exhausting. It is. Good point, Bob.

Like just stop having threesome. But this is all one of them to leave. Yeah. This all basically comes back to you found God. So it's all good. Yeah. Did he end each sentence in there with a hashtag blessed? No, it was like, no, rock bottom for me was bleeding and laying next to the person

that says they love you, but she doesn't even know you were in pain. That was rock bottom for me. Like truth. That's what he was. Hashtag booming. Well, so happy to be a raider. So you've got one girl riding you. You've got another girl sitting on your face.

He's the ultimate two sport guy. Yep. He should be able to pull both of those things off. I agree. And his poor wife, like having this come out and be like, yeah, I had two or three women at a time and I left unsatisfied. Now. Now you got to step up to the plate.

Yeah. After that. Yeah, that's a lot. What that booty do though. That's so hot. Honestly, like this is the biggest flex of all time. I want to get to a point where I write a memoir that's just me apologizing for all the awesome shit that I've done.

I was so sad with how much sex I was having and how awesome my life was. Kids, don't be like me. I had so many fast cars. My dick was ginormous. Everyone was screaming my name in 100,000, you know, football person, football stadium, but none of them knew my social security number. It was so sad. Yeah.

God damn, Dion. The tweet was rock bottom for Dion Sanders was when he was having a threesome. Damn. That's so relatable, Dion. Dion Dion still doing it. All right. Next up, we have, I have a quick, we read a headline for you guys. You ready for this one?

Philly's obsessed hacker with white supremacist past nearly died from Cobra's bite in his snake and spider horror house. That's a good headline. We read a headline. That was the headline. What the fuck? Take from that, what you will. Great sports.

This guy had it coming to him, by the way. Yeah. Not because he was a Nazi and a Philly obsessed hacker, but because he lived in a snake and spider horror house. I was going to say like, this is, that's the most Philadelphia thing of all time. Only in Philly. That's so ridiculous. Can you combine all those things into a headline?

That's one where after the first like six words, you could have stopped and I would have been like, that's a hell of a headline. Yeah. I'll read it again real quick for the people. Philly's obsessed hacker with white supremacist past, yeah, we could have stopped right there. Nearly died from Cobra bite in his snake and spider horror house. Step up to the plate, you spiders. Wait, did you say spider horror house?

Horror house. Horror house. Okay. I think he just had a house full of snake and spiders and then was like, damn, why'd I get bit? Well, he probably had the spiders first and then brought the snakes in to eat all the spiders. Can I ask a question?

Which comes first? The Philly obsessed hacker or the white supremacist past? I think, I think the hacking comes first. Okay. I think you, you get too deep into hacking. You find some like very alt-right message boards and then they're all Philly fans there anyways. And actually it's kind of a Philly like a Philly joke Philly.

Yeah. Philly, like the Phillies got kind of a ricochet shot here because he just loves, you know, the great pastime. Yeah. So this is, that actually dovetails with my theory that I think every newspaper when they have, when they report a crime should say what sports team, whoever that crime was a fan of. Yes.

So like, you know, like LA Rams fan accused of driving his car too fast into a pole and it was also the start of gone in 60 seconds. Right. Or fast and furious. That's what I meant. Too soon. I mean, when you're in Alabama, when everyone gets arrested, they just say roll tide. Yeah.

Yeah. Or war eagle. They identify for you as, yeah. Yes. All right. Next, second last up before we get to FAQs, we have a new segment alert. Meo, meo. That was good.

That was good. I thought it was good. All right. It was okay. That's, that's as much as a new segment alert. Meo, meo. All right. That's all right.

Eli Manning. It's called, what was Eli Manning Googling? So here's a quote Eli Manning had about Philadelphia fans. Philadelphia fans are getting a lot today between the Bryce Harper, the, the spider and snake horror house. And now this Eli Manning said, you go there talking about Philadelphia and that nine-year-old kid is giving you the double finger, not a thumbs up, not where number one. And he said something about my mom.

I had to Google what it was. It's a different culture. So what was Eli Manning Googling? What did he Google? I have a couple of ideas. What does Eli Manning not understand? Pogs. Okay.

Pogs. Yeah. What are Pogs again? Milk caps. Fat ass white girl. Fat ass white girls. Oh, I'll tell you. Fat with a P.H.

Yeah. P.H. It's P.A.W.G. Pogs. Pogs. I learned that a few weeks ago. Um, he was Googling what is it covered to? Cause I don't think he understands what it is.

Yeah. Um, maybe he was Googling thoughts. Maybe someone called Mrs. Manning thought. Okay. Yeah. I could see that. Um, how to retire. How do you escape fraud allegations with your game-worn jerseys?

Hmm. Yeah. He was probably looking at that. Well, he Googled. That was in a search history. That was in a search history. Yeah. Right.

Exactly. It was the most recent search. I would love to see Eli Manning's Google history. Oh my God. It's the most basic. He's probably Googled how long do I hard boil an egg six times in the last year? Yeah. Or like, can eating paint kill you still?

Yeah. And shit like that. Yeah. Can you die in your sleep if you don't breathe out of your nose? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then he has one like that it's like, uh, all time interception leaders

just to see, just to make sure that he's still, still is far enough away from Brett Farb's record. Is it illegal to kill your older brother? No, not, not Peyton Cooper. Yeah. Because he's the funny one. Yeah. Yeah.

He lies very jealous. Yeah. Exactly. He's very jealous of all the other mannings have with sense of humor. Eli Manning's Google history. He definitely is a free ones guy too. Like old school porn. It's not real porn.

It's just like pictures. Wait. You pay for porn? No, no, no. Free. No. It was a site called free ones.com. I pay for literally just pictures of porn.

You got to play boy. You get what you get. You get what you pay for. Online in like 2002. Uh huh. He still does that. Yeah. He probably does pay for porn.

Listen. Here's the thing. You get into your rhythm with, with your porn searches and you know, you know, your safe sites to go to and you have, okay, this is my warm up site. This is my finished site. I understand that. Yeah. Your future.

You lie. All right. Last up before we get to FAQ. Yeah. Yeah. He's a big granny guy. He probably just Googles the Grove, the tailgates. Yeah.

Back in the heyday. Uh, all right. So here's my, here's, here's the viral idea. I was teasing this. I was in, uh, Washington state in Seattle on Wednesday, legalized weed, maybe had a little weed going. Well, it's state. The state.

Federally it's still illegal. That's true. So it also happened to be the day that we had two things go semi viral on the internet. The first was, uh, the people in St. Louis cutting their bagels like they were toast. And the other one was the pizza, the person who put peeps on their pizza. Yes. They're just gross food. Yes.

But I think, but the more I thought about it, you have to also put like a specific place to it so everyone can then shun different regions of America. So I think we need to start tweeting just random food trends. And here's my first one that we're going to tweet from the part of my take account right now. Okay. And we're going to see if it goes viral. So you're probably listening to this and you're probably like, wait, why did they tweet

that? But here's what it is. Okay. P F D and the, here's how I'm going to read the tweet for you real quick. It's going to say, anyone else dunk their cereal in toilet water before they eat it? Or is that just an NYC thing? Okay. And then you have a video of me.

Yeah. Okay. There's a toilet. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I'm going to put my cereal in the toilet water and then I give it a little swirl. And then do you eat it?

Yeah. No, I'm about to eat it, but I don't. Okay. So I'm going to tweet it. And I'm saying at minimum 10,000 retweets by tomorrow morning. Embrace debate. Does that qualify as soup? Yeah.

I think it is. It could. That could be a spinoff. Is, is toilet water cereal a soup or a sandwich? I might blog that tomorrow. Yes. That's perfect. Get it.

Revive. Yep. There we go. All right. It's done. I don't think it's going to go viral. I don't want to be an asian. No, but it's probably not going to, but I think we're playing the seed here.

We need to start doing more of these where it's like, you know, uh, anyone else, anyone else like to pick up a little dog poop and put it on their pizza or is that just a Tampa Bay thing? The thing is, you know, just, and then you just pick a random place. We have to pick. What the fuck? We have to pick our regions carefully because there are some cities that are very easy to dunk on that people love piling on.

Right. St. Louis is the perfect one. Right. It's a weird local like culinary tradition. Anyone like to rub their churros in their grundle before eating them or is that just a San Antonio thing? Yeah. Or like anyone like to open their beer and leave it out for five days or is that just

a Utah thing? Yeah. Right. Exactly. So you have a bunch of open beers in the fridge and you just take them out. I feel like. The carbonation is a sin. I feel like we're onto something.

We just keep doing just random shit. It's disgusting and we throw a random city on it and people will get so mad on the internet. Okay. All right. So we're going to go viral. If this is our last show, it's probably because the toilet cereal went super viral and then we hit our sound cloud and peace out. We'll never hear from you.

You'll never hear from us again. Yep. All right. Bubba. End it with FAQs. If you call a player on the Lakers, a Laker or a player on the Knicks, a Nick, what do you call someone on the Heat or the Jazz? Heat player.

The Heedles. Remember there were the Heedles? Yeah. The Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. The Jizzers. The Jizzers.

Jazzed. I was going to say something mean about the Utah, but we already did the beer thing. Yeah. Yeah. Let's lay off to like city for a second. The super racist fans. Okay. Never mind.

The little B words. Two likes already. Oh, there we go. Big time internet bucks coming our way. What time is it in outer space? Yeah. It's a great question. There is no time.

First of all, I don't think space is real because it's a vacuum, right? So it's, you can't see it. So let's start there. Yeah. Second of all, the Earth is flat and there's a dome over it. Yep. So you'll never escape that. Yep.

Third of all, I think it's just always New York time. Yeah. Yeah. Because yeah. Because that's where I live. It's just, just imagine. Whoa. Just imagine.

The world revolves around me. Side tangent here. When the tournament was announced, PFT was like, so what games are Madison Square Garden? I was like, you're now a New Yorker. Yeah. Come on, some Mecca. Where the fuck are our games? Some Mecca.

Motherfucker. Yeah. I'm fucking trying to move it over here. Disrespect. Move your car. Actually matters how close you get to the sun, right? Yeah. I think so.

Like Venus is Mercury in retrograde. Which one's second? Second is Venus. Venus. Yeah. Their years are like 100 days. Yeah. So I guess it depends on where you are in space.

That was the 100 days of summer. That movie was about a guy who went to Venus to try to fuck a girl. So he only had 100 days. He burned up into a million, billion flames. That sucks. Yeah. That's an all time bad breakup. Yeah.

All right. FAQ. What was your first sports memory? Mine, I think, I think it's the Reds in the World Series. Either that or, I was going to say the Twins in the World Series. So I remember that World Series, Kirby Puckett in the home run, and the Plexiglas, it was like a hockey Plexiglas in the outfield. That one, it's basically because back, obviously way back then, it was like you basically just

watched, when you're a little kid, you watched like the World Series, that's about it, and the Super Bowl. I think it was actually my dad telling me that Barry Bonds was too much of a hot dog to ever be a good player. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Even back then, he wasn't a hot dog.

No, he kind of was. He was a little bit of a hot dog. He had the earring, the mid-cross that dangled off. There was definitely a moment in time where I just assumed the Cowboys kicked the shit out of the Bills every year for the Super Bowl. That was probably my first like, this is really sports moment. This one I want you to write down, big cut, I thought it was good. So the letters, U-M-O-P, space, A-P-I-S, D-N, okay, and then flip it over.

I don't understand it. Does it say upside down? No. No, not even close. Upside down. No, you have to read it backwards, I think. Not even close. Dude.

Wait. That's not even close. It spells no-sip-a-down. Yeah, so wait, try. Down is right. Bubba tried reading it backwards. Did you try this? On my laptop.

This is Bubba. What kind of laptop do you have over there, Bubba? This is a bad one, Bubba. Keep it in, but this is a bad one. If you go to Australia and write that down, then you see it says upside down. All right, we got eight retweets. I thought that was pretty good. 137 likes.

That's pretty damn good. All right, last one. Okay. Oh, whoa. A penny is one cent because it's one percent of a dollar. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah.

Whoa. And a quarter is a quarter of a dollar. Because it's a quarter cent. Oh, no. Quarter of a dollar. Are you sure? Quarter, yeah, quarter of a dollar. What about a dime?

That's just when you pick up a honey at the club. That's right. No, that's when you drop a nice little assist. Yeah, that's hot sauce. That kind of thing. That's when you throw up a nice little alley. Yeah. All right, we'll see everyone Monday.

That's it, Bubba. Yep. Good job. Thank you. Good job because this show's not out yet as we're sitting here. I'm going to say a name for Monday's show. And if he doesn't show up for Monday's show, then I, it's going to be a problem. We'll cancel him.

I don't, I think so. Okay. It's Mark Titus to talk about the final four. Mark Titus, you are canceled. Everyone tweet Mark Titus and say, if you don't, if you don't come on on Sunday, you are canceled. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.