Pardon My Take - Actor Miles Teller, MLB Playoff Rules, And We Get Inside The Mind Of A Marketing Genius, Dana B

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

ay to stay relevant baseball or more importantly get everyone talking about something besides the Astros. Rob Manfred unveils the proposed new playoff format and people are pissed (2:17 - 15:55). NFL Free Agency is going to be incredible this year with Phil Rivers and Tom Brady officially joining the FA market (15:55 - 21:59). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Pam Anderson and Duke (21:59 - 34:40). Actor Miles Teller joins the show to talk about his career, his love for the Eagles, busting balls, and whether or not he's an asshole (34:30 - 66:27). Segments include bachelor talk for guy that don't watch the bachelor, this league for J-But and Embiid, and a discussion with the marketing genius behind Zillion Beers, Dana B.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Miles Teller. Little interesting, different type of interview. I actually didn't know a ton about Miles Teller, but I liked the guy. He was a true ball buster in the good way, so we had a lot of fun with him. We have baseball losing their mind.

We have Hot Sea Cool Throne, guys on chicks, Little This League, a lot to get to on a Wednesday, and before we do all of that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1. Hank, have you bought some Penn National stock? Not saying you should, but have you. I have. Okay, so do you own us?

Do you technically own us as I own the package? You own yourself? Yes. Do you own yourself? Take control. Give myself more vacations. Your body. Right.

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Download the Cash App from the App Store, Google Play Store today. Okay. Let's go. Bye. Bye. Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff will have to be done. No place to hang alone washing and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're going to run down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher.

It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my tape presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now. Use code BARSTULE. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. You can also buy some stocks, Penn National stock. Do it right now with the Cash App. Today is Wednesday, February 12th and baseball is very relevant.

Way to stay relevant baseball. You have maximized the first two weeks of February. Really this was their sweet spot because they knew that they were going to have a couple weeks they could sneak in right after the Super Bowl before the Combine. They didn't count on the XFL and they wanted to get everyone to stop talking about the Astros and the fact that their entire like the last three championships have been tarnished by people banging on trash cans and sneakily all they had to do to get us to stop talking about the Astros was to just not have baseball be in the news at all.

We naturally, in the cyclical nature of sports, this is baseball hibernation season that we're in. They could have just kept their mouth shut and we wouldn't bring it up but they did. They changed the rules. They did a little Mike Greenberg. It's an entire league run by an army of Mike Greenbergs right now. Do you have the rules in front of you? Yes, it's a proposal and let's back up for a second because this actually is prime baseball

season for the most diehard baseball fan you know tweeting three days till pitchers and catchers or pitchers and catchers have arrived and we're still two months away from meaningful baseball. So it is pitchers and catchers as far as I know they spend like one week away from Arizona and Florida every year. They take like a year vacation from being reported. It's big season for watching your favorite team like the new acquisition throw 10 baseballs off a mound and then go and play 18 holes of golf.

You take a picture of them or a grainy video like a big foot quality video through a chain link fence that also has that blockade screen. Yeah. Over it. Yes. From about 300 yards away. New rule for baseball. We're going to get to the actual proposed new rules but here's how you could stay relevant

baseball. Have Bartol Cologne report every single spring even though he's not on a team anymore just to see how fat he is. Just have him report. Like just have that be a pit. That should actually be like Punxsutawney Phil. It should be baseball's back. He just reports to just Arizona in general.

He doesn't even go to a camp. He can do both. He can do one Arizona one Florida have the families on opposite coast. There you go. Perfect. And then he just shows up carrying like an old school suitcase wearing a Tommy Bahamas shirt and a fedora. Boom.

That's the that's the perfect beginning to spring right there. OK. So the proposed rule is baseball wants to I think it's in 2022 it would start they want to have the playoffs shift to seven teams. Seven teams make the playoffs in the AL and seven teams make the playoff in the NL. Now what happens from there the first team the best team in the league gets a buy. So both AL now and I'll have one buy then going down the list from there you have the next best team gets to pick their first round opponent.

And so the first round switches so the first round instead of the one game playoff the first round is now a three game series all at the higher seeds home stadium. So there's still benefit for being a two three or four seed or no two two or three seed. OK. Wait no two three or four yes because five six seven. So two three and four all are at home for three games. Got it to start the playoffs. Now what happens is selection Sunday.

They're all at home for a three game series. Yes. So all three games are you mean two out of all three games are at home. Oh wow. OK. Yeah. So it gives obviously the benefit you know if you're 81 and 81 and you get the seventh seed you don't get a home playoff.

All right. So let me ask you this if you're in the National League and you're going up and get let's say the Dodgers somehow only get the fifth seed. Do you want playoff cursor on the first round. Yeah. This is the intrigue. So this is why and we'll get to the fallout and people being upset about it. But yes that is a that's what ends up happening.

So you get the selection Sunday the two three and four get to or two in three get to pick their opponent four goes with whoever's left. Yeah. So the two seed gets to pick whoever they want to play. It could be the seven team. It could be the fifth team. It doesn't matter. Or this.

Yeah the fifth team. I'm getting confused. Yeah. Basically I got all the numbers. Basically the four is like the last person at the bar at the end of the night and you're like yeah I guess me and you are we're going to do this. It's the ultimate bulletin board material because the two seed gets to pick a team and basically say we're going to kick the shit out of this team and then that team gets to say no one

believes in us. We're going to kick the shit out of you. And then of course the three seed gets to pick and then the four seed ends up with the five or whoever is left and that will be the new playoffs and then they go next round goes back to the regular so four teams are left. Regular five game series got it then the CS I personally it's crazy it's stupid and I know baseball peers will hate it but from a fundamental level of making September more enjoyable making a lot of markets still feel like they have a shot having just more playoff

baseball which isn't a bad thing and eliminating the one game playoff that always kind of feels like it screws someone over. I'm kind of in on this. Listen I don't like the one game playoff even though it worked out really well for the Nationals this year just because of that error in like the eighth inning but I was very close to being on the wrong side of that one game playoff and it sucks. Yeah it sucks. I don't I don't like it at all.

It doesn't feel fair like after a hundred sixty two game season to have one game where it's like OK you lose you go home. So I'm with you. I like replacing that. I also like the intrigue of having a bye week even though I hope that a team I root for never has a bye week. That sounds like it sucks. Yeah just sit around and well you get to get everyone in in line.

You get to watch everyone else beat each other up. So it's actually good. I mean it's a it's a competitive advantage. I know but I don't really isn't that long because I would assume they would start playing the next series like they'd play the first round right away. Yeah. So it'd be like Thursday or Friday would be your first game. I don't like the idea of a bye week.

I don't like it. I like keeping in rhythm if you're a baseball team. Well rest first rust the bait. There we go. We can have it every single year. But I do like how it's messing with people's brains because you're right the outcome of all this is I think it's more fun. And it screws things up because people in the past are like wait this is change baseball

people don't like change. But at the end of the day I think that this is a pretty entertaining way of doing it. It's just weird. It's weird. It is weird. It took us like five minutes to explain what the hell is going on. And that's four minutes more than my brain in this in this age of the internet can process. So the downside and I understand this the baseball season is already very very long.

I actually think it should be about 10 games shorter regardless and don't play all the way till December although snow baseball would be incredible. But the downside is this you will end up having a bunch of rich owners try to tell their fan base that they've made the playoffs three or four years in a row when they were like 82 and 80 and getting the six or seven seed. There will be some crappy teams to get into the tournament and that is kind of bullshit. And you have like that whole they don't ever owners can basically never have to go all in because they can they can sell to their fan base that they're always competitive because

they finished three games away from making the playoffs even though in you know the way it's currently constructed they would have been 10 games out or something. I still think this would be like it's more fun. There's more teams. It's more fun. The trade deadline gets more intriguing. The September gets more intriguing like it all seems like it would make sense. I know that baseball is the last sport to change but this feels like I'm in.

OK. The other side of that coin that you just mentioned which is some shittier teams can make the playoffs. We get upsets in the playoffs now. Yeah. We can have Cinderella stories in the playoffs. We can have a team like a can you imagine a seven seed. The Mets last year I think would have made it as a six or seven.

Yeah. Can you imagine. They had one of the best pitching rotations. Can you imagine seven. Now that I've got my own personal untainted World Series title as a diehard Nats fan I'm fine with whatever screwy changes they make and somebody sneaking in as a seven seed to the World Series next year like I'm fine with that. I think I think you're right.

The more fan bases that are involved later on the season the better for everybody and you know what those owners that are going to say well you know what we made the playoffs we don't have to change that much. They're the same owners that are just not going to change anything anyways. Right. And the like the shitty teams getting in that kind of will suck like there's I'm looking at it right now. I think I think everyone would have been yeah everyone would have been over 500.

Yeah. There's argument. That's all we need. Almost half the league is making the playoffs. But OK. I mean that's still fun. I don't tell too. It's like I don't see a problem with that long term because back in the day the encouraging

mediocrity though. Well but but here's the problem baseball I'm fine for a team that is out in I don't know July like that happens all the time in baseball. I feel like it would more teams would be invested more cities wouldn't be invested like take the Seattle Mariners for for example Seattle hasn't made the playoffs in 20 years. I don't think people realize that they made the playoffs in 2001 like that that would be fun to have Seattle playoff baseball either in see they wouldn't make it in Seattle because right wouldn't be good enough to get in there paying off the owners that haven't put in

the effort to make their I agree with that. I agree with that. You're paying off the people that are just taking advantage of the fans. I agree with that. It's a fundamental flaw in this but Hank it's also giving you a chance. It's like it's it's saying that like I'm sure Seattle would be fine with having their owner continue to not like strive for greatness and do anything to try to win them a World Series if it meant that they had been in the playoffs like five of the last 20 years and they got

they got that like one week of glory as a Redskins fan that one wild card that we get once every like six years is an electric weekend. I'm addicted to in the hunt. I'm addicted to in the hunt. Everyone's in the hunt. Everyone is in the hunt at all times. It's funny because like this seems like bail out for the owners. That's how it is.

No. And it also is this is Hank Leftwood. We have meted this million is a million is the participation trophy. But we we by the way participation trophies like just a quick word on that as soon as I became a dad like my son got a gold medal for just showing up to Jim and he deserved that gold medal. Like I was like fuck yeah you got that you should you fucking showed up. So I'm all in on participation.

I'm not flipped in my brain. I'm fine with participation trophies. I love the first thing that you do you give him like bronze shoes. Right. It's like yeah here you go you made it into the world. I texted everyone in the picture is like check it out. Gold medal. No big deal.

He's only six months old. It's like what do you do. Well he sat there and he sat there. But guess what. Gold medal Leroy one time got a certificate for not getting kicked out of obedience class. That's huge. That was massive for me. That's huge.

I'm fine with that. And going back to like rewarding mediocrity I'm going to flip it because some people say we reward mediocrity too much. I think that the best life lesson of all is teaching you that if you're perfectly average at something and you get hot at the right time in the right place you can be great. Yeah. That's ultimately Mark Eli Manning. That's the best man.

Yeah. That's the best lesson that you can learn in life. Forget this bullshit where it's like you have to strive to succeed and dominate everything if you want greatness. That's not true at all. No. As long as you're like averagely consistent at something we're all and then you peak at the right time boom.

That's that's as great as you could hope for in a life. No one's really special. You can have special moments though. That's right. My son's gold medal. Right. Well that's not actually don't diminish that. He showed up he was there.

But this does sound like an Adam Silver idea that he got. He gets his ideas from Twitter and Rob Manfred gets his ideas from Errowid. Well and again we said at the start this was clearly a let's have everyone not talk about the Astros so we can see right through that. I would imagine this isn't going to even happen. Trevor Bauer went straight at Rob Manfred on Twitter which I love that. Like even though I like this idea I like that Trevor Bauer is just like fuck this I'm going straight at the commissioner and he basically just said I'm pulling up his treat right

now. He said no idea who made this new playoff format proposal but Rob is responsible for releasing it so I'll direct this to you Rob Manfred. Your proposal is absurd for too many reasons to type on Twitter and proves you have absolutely no clue about baseball. You're a joke. You're a joke. You're a joke.

Now the biggest shock in that he spelled your Y-O-U-A-P-R-E right. Correct. Yeah. Wow. So he did it. So he went all in. Either way we're talking about baseball so credit to baseball you got us to talk about you in the middle of February.

There should be an XFL for baseball. Now I want an XFL for everything for like every single sport just like an alternative. They have. They have three levels of minor league baseball. Yeah. But I'm talking about like four or five rules like a rule where it's six down college you can elect to bat from 10 feet away from the pitcher and your home run will be worth 10. So we're just every sport on acid.

Yes. OK. I'm done with that. The arrow would do. Yeah. All right. So you can watch us on barstoolgold.com slash PMT. We also have all dog back boys all dog back boys works.

We also have a little quick football news. So Phil Rivers officially no longer a San Diego Charger sad day credit to the Chargers who changed their Twitter avatar to 17 as a nice little you know you got that's our guy. And then there's a mutual parting of ways to frame this correctly. Yes. Yes. They both decided that Philip Rivers shouldn't be a charger.

Right. They both decided that Philip Rivers skills are vastly diminishing and we needed to move on. We also have news from the Tom Brady camp. So Robert Kraft basically said the only way that this is going to work is if Tom Brady goes and tests free agency and Bill Belichick goes and tests free agency and they both realize they love each other. This is the plot of the breakup.

Right. This is the plot of like a hundred thousand moves. Did you see the breakup because they did. I mean they didn't end back up together. They saw each other on the street but we don't know the breakup. That's the Vince Vaughn. They saw each other in the last scene but we don't we don't know if they ended up back together.

We we thought they might who's playing the role of the karaoke a cappella obsessed brother in law. It's got to be Gronk in this one. Right. Yeah. Come come. Are you not worried. No.

So you're not worried at all that that someone overpays for Tom Brady or on the alternative which I think is totally a possibility Bill Belichick someone like an Andy Dalton or James Winston or someone like that says hey I'll take like zero dollars to play for you. That would be interesting. Yeah. Because I mean if you're a quarterback who thinks hey I have skills but I've been coached poorly my entire life you'd go and take nothing to go play for Bill Belichick. Jay Cutler.

I'm absolutely not worried. I'm not even letting myself get worried for a second. If it happens I'm going to be blindsided and heartbroken but I don't I still think he's going to end up a patriot. I'm not letting myself even consider that a possibility. I still think he's going to be a patriot but that does feel like a weird strategy to be like hey everyone needs to go fool around with other people and hope they still love each other at the end of the day.

Yeah. Okay. If you love something set free around each other it's like if it returns then it was meant to be. Yeah there's also there's other movies where it's the same plot line but it's like you go out you don't you try and talk to other girls and you're just like I want that old thing. You're like I want that old thing that's what you're calling Tom Brady that old thing.

No Tom Brady's going to say that about the Patriots. He want Bob Kraft that old thing. Tom Brady's going to get wind and dined by the Chargers and be like ugh. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. Gross. Los Angeles sucks.

Where else is he being hooked to right now Tennessee, Texas, Dallas, Texas. I mean Dallas. Michael Irvin just started that rumor out of nowhere. A lot of places with very lax incest laws are noticed. There's like a cottage industry this off season where you can just create rumors out of nowhere. Michael Irvin just decided hey you know what I'm going to get my name out there and just create a rumor.

Say the Cowboys wanted Tom Brady. I am hearing Tom Brady to the Oakland Las Vegas Raiders. That's what I just heard. He could move right into Derek Carr's house. Came right across the line right now. So no worry. It's like we talked to Jason Biggs a couple weeks ago. We haven't aired the interview yet.

But spoiler alert his wife bought him a hooker for their anniversary. That's kind of what Bob Kraft is doing here. He's getting Tom Brady a nice massage and getting Belichick a nice massage. Either way I'm actually like I want to thank them because this does create content for basically the month of March like football content in the month of March. It really will be the biggest story. There's actually a lot of quarterbacks there to be I mean Dak, Phillip Rivers, James. I do think that Nick Foles, Drew Brees, Taysome Hill.

Once Nick Foles' name comes across Bill Belichick's desk, that's going to be a moment of truth right there. It's like do I want to go for this guy? Get him on the cheat maybe. Could you imagine if Bill Belichick wanted to go with Andy Dalton? Yeah. Yeah. I could imagine.

Yeah. Probably. Probably. That would be for sure. I just can't imagine Andy Dalton like like like looking at Andy Dalton like yeah he's got it. Let's continue. What was that eye roll Hank?

Go ahead. Nothing. Nothing. Do it. Say it. Say it. I got nothing to say. Hank was about to say how we stick up for every recurring guest of the show that's been

a quarterback but now you're trashing Andy Dalton. We give him a hard time. No, I was going to say Andy Dalton greater than Jimmy G. Oh, there's a take. That is spicy. I like it. Oh, that's another team. If the Patriots are like oh, if they had Jimmy G, they'd be winning.

If they had Andy Dalton, they probably would be winning as well. Would you take Jimmy G back? Do you agree? Do you saw season? If no, I think Andy Dalton goes to San Francisco. Andy Dalton is the king of everything right and everything kind of is almost right. They probably need some weapons but everything else would be right for him. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well extending with that girlfriend analogy just real quick, if you're Bill Belichick and you want to go like fool around with a wild girl, you know like a little something strange after been locked in this relationship for so long and everything's getting stale, which quarterback out there fits that bill because there's one. I mean it's Jamis.

It's Jamis. It's Jamis Waston. Jamis is the most opposite of Tom Bray. Yes. But Bill doesn't do that. Bill's not. He doesn't want a wild thing. Jamis got Laysik by the way.

Yes, he did. He got Laysik. He got Laysik. His eyes are clear. He'll see linebackers now. He can see through that Foxborough smog. It's going to be great. Jamis is going to be awesome next year.

Listen, if he wants, if Bill Belichick wants to prove. I said that so confidently. Without a doubt that he is the best coach of the Super Bowl era, the only way that he can put everything to bed on that conversation. I think any adult does that too. I think Jamis Winston makes him by far the best head coach in the history of football. I think if he wanted to do a role as any adult, they would be pretty, pretty convincing. If he can fix bad girl Jamis.

Oh, fuck. You should trade for Mr. Biscay. Yeah, it really should. Or just keep Tom the wind to more. Which is probably what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne before we get to Miles Teller. Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Bud Light Seltzer. Try it for yourself and see why great tasting Bud Light Seltzer is putting every other hard Seltzer on the hot seat. Hot Seat Cool Throne, Bud Light Seltzer, thank you for sponsoring it. Go grab a Bud Light Seltzer now. Hank, your Hot Seat Cool Throne. My Hot Seat are the Mets Minor Leaguers, Single A, St. Lucy Mets, the spring training Mets

facility. They got a $57 million renovation. It's like an unbelievable clubhouse, state-of-the-art, all this stuff, and it's in the same town as their Single A team, but they're not going to let the Single A team use the locker room so that they have something to strive for going forward in their career. So they're just going to, they're going to use it for the spring, and then it's just going to be open, and there's going to be a team training there, but they can't use the state-of-the-art locker.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a classic rich friend parent move. I don't know if you guys had this growing up, but I had a couple of friends where their parents had a room in their house that was really nice, had a bunch of sweet furniture in it, but you just don't go in that room. Yeah. Nobody's allowed in the room.

That's just our room that's really nicely decorated with cool couches and decorative pillows everywhere, but you do not step fucking foot in that room, buddy. You would think, though, that getting paid minimum wage or less than having to ride on buses all the time, stay in shitty, shitty motels, share hotel rooms. You'd think that would probably be enough to keep them hungry, but no, this is probably good. And it might just make sure they don't attract players. Yeah.

Just make sure they totally waste the nice facilities. Prospects, things of that nature. It's like, oh, if you play for us, you know, you can use the state-of-the-art facility that's literally just sitting there otherwise. I'm just thinking of a guy who gets paid like $500 a month and has to ride a bus and sleep in a motel six with like three roommates and share a bed, jerk each other off. And then he walks by the nice facility every single day. They're like, well, thank God they're making me stay hungry.

One day I'm going to be in that room sitting down. I can't wait. Got it. All right. What's your cool throne? My cool throne is our darling Jake. Yes. I actually had that on my cool throne as well.

Jake Marsh, our sweet prince, our beautiful son, making it to the big time. No longer the Vermont radio announcer. He is doing the game tonight, Wednesday night on ESPN Plus. I'm so excited to see this. On the deuce-deuce. I cannot wait to listen to Jake go off. I'm sure he's never looked forward to a college basketball game in a long time. Oh, you're not a true Catamount fan?

No, just college basketball in general. Mount up. I haven't even got this hyped up in a while. Mount up, cats, because this is going to be a big one. Here we go. Seven seconds left. Find Shungu. Five seconds left.

It's Shungu top of the key. Off to Davis. Davis. Reverse lineup is good. 2.2 left. No timeout. Hartford. One second left.

One of the greatest calls. That's like up there with, do you believe in miracles? Well, he had another one. Hablechek stole the ball. He stuck that abounds. He stuck that abounds. I think that, honestly, like the people at ESPN Plus or whoever's making the decision saw that or like, we got to get this guy in the car.

Well, they heard that. They heard the tic-tac-toe call. That's another one of the stages. You know what's going to be funny? Let's say everybody do Jake a favor. He contributed a lot to part of my take over the summer. He still does, even though he's working like two full-time jobs. Jake is a great kid.

He's got a bright future. Everyone listened to his calls. Watch. Watch it. On ESPN Plus. Watch. Yes. Have it on.

Going for 10 straight wins. Have it on. I want ESPN Plus's numbers to just skyrocket for the catamount games tonight. Okay, that's a, I'm serious. Helped out a competitor. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For Jake. For Jake.

And then deactivate your account right afterwards. Yeah, cancel it. Cancel your credit card. Throw your credit card in the ocean. That'll do it. Do that. That's a Jake bump coming at you tomorrow. Yeah, because then he'll get another gig, hopefully.

I mean, Jake's a star. He's going to be fucking Al Michaels and we're going to be like, remember that guy? Got to start coffee. All right, PFT, what's your hot seat? Cool throne. My hot seat is the rest of the world's intelligence agencies. Okay. Everywhere in the world's CIA's and spies.

Number one, Homeland's Back. Watch that last night. Pretty sweet. What? Yeah, Homeland's Back. They did a really shitty job of telling you that it's back, but it is. I thought that show ended years ago. No.

Carrie's still freaking out. She's showing off her neck tendons, breathing hard, crying. Nice. The best move that show ever did, by the way, was when Carrie had a baby like season two and they're like, this baby is making the show awful. And they just gave the baby away and they're like, we're going to pretend she doesn't have a kid anymore. Beautiful.

Yeah. But in addition to that, there was a story today in The Washington Post that every intelligence agencies in the world have been buying encryption machines to like make their own codes and the company that's been selling them these encryption machines has been a front for the CIA. So we've been outfying the entire world. Smart. By giving them these machines to make their own codes that we have access to so we know all their codes.

Nice. That's like a big out. That's like Houston Astros, they would murder an entire roster, an entire minor league roster to achieve that level of spying. But China has TikTok. China has, and they also have Pokemon ghosts. They have the inside houses. So kind of a, yeah.

High level chess game going on. So now we can spy on the Chinese looking into our own homes. So you tell me who's the alpha in that situation. The other hot seat is our innocence, our collective innocence because Papa John was lying to us. What do you mean? You remember when he said that he ate 40 pizzas in a month? Yeah, I remember. He said today he was lying about that.

What? He ordered, he claims, he ordered 40 pizzas in a month so that he could inspect them to see the quality of Papa John's pizza. He says that he wasn't actually eating them. He made that part up. He exaggerated that part. Judging by the quality of his skin, I think that he probably was eating at least 25 of those pizzas.

Very oily. And the grease that was just dripping down his face. So wait, if he lied about that, what can we believe? We can't really believe anything. Do we even believe that he said racial slurs on a conference call? We don't know. We don't know. Were you there?

I didn't hear it. I'm still waiting for all the facts to come out. But he says that he, yeah, he just ordered them so he can inspect them. Okay. So I only... Quality control. I only smelled this bag of cocaine to see if it had gone bad. Right.

Right. It makes sense. It didn't. Yeah. But you didn't make sure. Still good. Yeah. So Taysum Hill's got his name in the news saying that he wants to be a starting quarterback.

Shout out Mike Florio. A franchise quarterback. Mike Florio thinks that he's one of the best quarterbacks in the entire NFL. Florio, we need to have a word with Florio. He's got the hot takes. Off-season Florio has hit a little harder than usual recently. He's just going crazy with him. He's in the zone.

He is in the zone. He's doing heat checks right now. So he thinks Taysum could be a franchise quarterback. Most people, I think, disagree with him. I would say all. All. He's thrown like 12 passes. And also the just basic logic of if he was a franchise quarterback and Drew Brees got

hurt, why didn't they have Taysum Hill play quarterback instead of Teddy Bridgewater? Right. That's a good point. Taysum Hill is... Like Sean Payton. If Sean Payton thought Taysum Hill was better than Teddy Bridgewater, he would have had Taysum Hill play quarterback. Probably.

Yes. But yeah. So Taysum Hill is like, he's like bacon, right? Bacon makes some dishes better, you would say. You're going to re-in like 2010 internet though. No. That's what I'm saying. Then when you get to the 2010 internet guy who's like, epic bacon wins, I'm going to

make bacon flavored ice cream and bacon toothpaste because bacon's the best. Right. And you put bacon in everything. You're like, no. Actually bacon kind of sucks. Yeah. It's good with eggs and that's about it. Right.

Taysum Hill is the bacon of the NFL. That makes sense. I like that analogy. All right. My hot seat is society in general because Pam Anderson is in debt and that means we failed her. Pam Anderson should not be in debt at all ever. I agree.

So everyone go out there and rent a copy of barbed wire. She I guess she married some old dude for like 12 days and then old dude paid off like $200,000 worth of her debt and then they got divorced. Great move. But yeah, I think there's probably more debt and we as a society should come together. Fuck the go fund me for like the person who gets bullied on the side of the, you know, in a school bus. Pam Anderson has done great things for society, has done great things for anyone who's, you

know, between the ages of 30 and 45, we need to get together and help her out. I agree with that. And you can. And with her new website, Jasmine, where you can do private one on one chats with Pam Anderson. Oh yeah. How much are they? I don't know.

Find out. I'm going to log on right now. You find out. Yeah. But you're right. Like she has contributed so much and I'm not just saying like personal enjoyment. No. Just everything.

But the Pam Anderson and Tommy tape that came out in what year was that like 94, 95? Sure. The fact that everyone was so horny and trying to access it all over the Internet actually made the Internet faster. Right. We came up with technological advances to try to acquire like a higher, higher, what is it? What's the word I'm looking for?

Like higher quality versions. Bandwidth. Higher bandwidth versions of this sex tape. It actually improved the world's technology. I've said it before. All innovation starts with porn. It does. Yeah.

All innovation in the world starts with porn. Mark Cuban. Yeah. He agree. All starts with porn. All right. My cool throne is Duke. It's Duke's year.

I'm officially ready to say it. Like it is Duke's year. I know that I joked about it last year Hank, but I'm telling you man to man right now. I trust only Duke to win the national championship this year. Will you be making a bet? We can save this for March Madness, but I do think it is Duke's year. They win games. You're right.

Since we're both of that thinking, we should make a bet together. Okay. Great. Against PFT. We're on it. Duke and PFT can be on the opposite side. No, I'm not rooting for Duke. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. It's our year. Last year you were joking. You just said that you were serious. It really is. It's Duke's year. All right.

You see how solid I can do. There's nothing I can do. You mean you'll be making a bet against PFT. Well, we should get Bubba. I don't want to be two on one here. True. I only have so many holes. Duke is definitely going to win.

They're definitely going to win it all. So what should the stakes of this bet be? Well, we can make it in March Madness, but this stinks. It just sucks. They're going to win it all. It's a crazy year though. It is a crazy year in college basketball. You never know what's going to happen.

That's a fucking Matt Hurt guy. What is his name? Stud. Just elbowing everyone. I know he didn't hit the player, but he tried. That should have been a flagrant in its own. His face shouldn't have been there. I mean, no, he actually didn't hit anyone.

So like it wasn't a flagrant, but it should have been because the intent. If you try to kill someone, you still go to jail for attempted murder. He tried. Is that fair though? He tried to take the floor state players head off. They're punishing incompetence. So that should have been a flagrant too. And someone actually aptly pointed out on Twitter, we should take away his birthday.

And Coach K's birthday, which is tomorrow. Shout out Coach K. Coach K. Yeah. He definitely told the refs that too. It's birthday week, dude. Can you make sure you get us a couple calls? He shares birthday week with RG3.

Who unironically used Valentine's Day birthday week because Greta took him on a whirlwind vacation down to Mexico for his birthday week. Nice birthday week. All right. Let's get to our interview with Miles Teller before we do that. Our friends from Zip Recruiter, codable co-founder Gretchen Heibner experienced how challenging hiring can be after unsuccessfully searching for a new game artist to grow with her education tech company, but then she switched to Zip Recruiter and saw an immediate difference.

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Within the first day, Zip Recruiter the smartest way to hire and listen, if you're looking for a job or you're looking to hire someone, see why Zip Recruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes. Try Zip Recruiter for free at our web address ziprecruiter.com slash PMT that's ziprecruiter.com slash PMT ziprecruiter.com slash PMT. Do it right now, Zip Recruiter the smartest way to hire. Okay, here he is, Miles Teller. And we now welcome on, very special guest, it is Hollywood actor Miles Teller.

He's in the new movie Top Gun Maverick coming out this summer. Very excited for this movie. I think everyone's excited for this movie, perfect summer movie. How many G's did you have to take while filming it? I think seven and a half is the max performance of the aircraft. So if we went above that, you know, can't say, but yeah, seven and a half, the max. How many times do you like, how many hours were you up in the, in one of these fighter jets?

So we had about three months of flight training before the movie started. Tom kind of laid out a system for us. So we started out in the Cessna and then we started doing aerobatics training in the X 300 and then we went to the L 39 and then in the F 18. But yeah, it was a good amount. I could, I could, I could get my pilot's license if I wanted to pry in like two weeks. One of the guys, one of the guys, Glenn actually is, uh, he's almost done. He takes his test on Wednesday.

So Tom actually set up the entire like training schedule for you guys. Yeah, it was pretty, uh, yeah, it was pretty regimented because when they did the first one, Tom was the only guy who, um, could, could handle being up there. Uh, most of the other guys, they, they kind of went up once they got sick and the footage was unusable. So Tom, you know, knowing that we were going to make the second one, he said, I want it to all be practical. Um, and yeah, there's no green screen, man.

I mean, we're up in the F 18. We strapped in with a top gun pilot and we just, you know, we rip. Yeah. Like it's pretty, I didn't puke. Um, you can say if you did, it's not a big deal. Yeah. No, I know. You know, tough around us.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Did you puke? Uh, no. Okay. All right. All right.

That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Uh, so honestly though, like half the, um, you know, half the, uh, there's like six kind of the next, the new gen of, of pilots and 50% of them were puke and even up until the last day, I think it's just something that you either have a tolerance for it or you don't. Right.

Did you brown out or red out or blackout? You know, it's funny, like my wife's from California and she was the first person who introduced the phrase brown out to me. She's like, oh, I'm browning out and I go, that sounds so silly. Right. It's like you're, you're, you're either blackout or you don't, she's like, no, brown out. You know, you can get crossfade. I'm like, now what the hell are you talking about?

Crossfade. What's that? Crossfade. She's like, you know, if you're stoned and you're drunk, it's crossfade. I'm like, we just called it. I like that. Fucked up. Yeah.

Left hand or right hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's, people stopped saying that like four years ago. You can still say. We're in an XFL hat, bro. No.

We're in the late 30s. Obviously the word you should be using. Okay. I'm lit right now. No, we can't say. I believe it. Yeah. We're crossfaded.

We're definitely crossfaded. Speaking of Tom Cruise, I got to ask you a question. I don't know. Did you see the movie Valkyrie? Um, no. Okay. So did you see the picture of his ass from Valkyrie? No.

So he didn't see the movie. He was wearing it. Yeah. But this, this kind of maybe I was just doing it. You know, it went viral. Deep search. It went viral. And this is Tom.

This is his butt from Valkyrie. Do you think, is that a prosthetic? Oh man. Yeah. He's thick with like seven twos. Wow. Uh, that's, that's, that's thick. Um, you know, I, I'm going to say that's his real ass because Tom doesn't cheat.

He doesn't cut corners. Right. Well, except for when he hires like all the actors to be shorter than him. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Right. But other than that, you're right.

Is this a thing? Yeah. No, that's an actual still frame from the movie Valkyrie. But I'm just saying, is this like a, like if you don't read it or something, it's a, what the hell you got here, dude? People talk about his ass. Just a lot of key cards. Yeah.

So the audience knows, you guys know HID prox card. I got my ACLU card in there. You got to try to arrest me. You got a Chick-fil-A card, a C8 sports card. Yeah. Yeah. Good dog. Yeah.

Do you want that Chick-fil-A card? Okay. All right. Oh, he read the name and was not happy. Yeah. ACLU member. What's that? Uh-huh.

That's because I got arrested a lot. So it's good to have that. No, you're right. No, you're right. No, you're right. You can't be arrested. A subway card. Yeah.

Need that to get to work. Fair. Just grinding. Bank of America card. Yeah. A couple of those. VIP access. You know, you can throw away hotel keys.

We don't know. No. That's for the cocaine. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. Um, you just get a bunch of business.

He's got everything. Yeah. It's a Super Bowl. You know what I mean? I'm not going to put that back. Right. It's too much. You can have the chicken.

Okay. I know what it is. All right. All right. So you're a big Eagles fan. Yeah. Do you think Carson Wentz is good? Yeah, man.

Carson. Carson is great. That's a real question. Carson is great. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. No, it's not. No, it's not.

I don't think anybody. Now the question is like, will he learn to maybe protect himself a little more to stay on the field? But you can't look at the numbers that the guy put up, you know, obviously the MVP caliber season four. He got hurt. And this year throwing, you know, with basically practice squad guys for him to throw for that many yards and not have a single wide receiver over 500 yards, you know, he put the team on

his, put team on his back dough. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, you're a real Eagles fan because I asked that specific question because real Eagles fans then go on like their list of reasons why Carson Wentz is awesome. Because they listen, you know, because they, that's Eagle. I mean, that's, that's a lot of the sports talking.

I mean, and that's, and that's, you know, that's Philly to a certain extent. It's just like, but he can't do that. He's not this or that, but he's a, he's a real, he's a real deal. Okay. Alternate question. Who's it? What are you guys' teams? Double Doink.

Oh no. Double Doink. Why'd you do that? Double Doink. Double Doink. It was very sensitive about that. It actually wasn't. I actually am the only person who, I will not allow people to say it was Ted.

Cody Park. He can't make it. What are we paying these guys? He sucks all year. All year. God damn fucking kicks his life. There's actually, there's a clip of this show the Friday before and I was like, something bad is going to happen.

He's going to hit a post or something and then it happens. So I knew it was going to happen. Yeah. So you guys got him from us. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever dude.

Do you like Mitch? Huh? Do you like Mitch? No, why are you asking that? I want to hear his thoughts. Do I like Mitch? Do you think he's a good quarterback? More than a friend.

I think, more than a friend. I think, you know, I was, certain guys, like once they get in the right, once they get in the right sys. I mean, I looked at Jared Goff, his first year playing out, I was like, man, I don't see it. And then he actually got a tie in the pocket. Oh, I know Jared too. You know what I'm saying?

Whoa. You're named, you're name dropping. No, I know. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you love him. Same. Same. Once he got, once he got time in the pocket, you know, so, uh, with your Biscay, yeah, I, yeah, I don't know, man.

I'm not. If you're asking me what I rather have, Wenz or Chibisky, I think Wenz is skill set. That was the perfect, Mitch Chibisky answer ever. Like just say a lot of words. How do you feel about it? And basically what you said, say a lot of words and then like, I don't know. Now Jordan Howard, obviously he got hurt a little bit, he was running the ball great for us.

I was surprised we got him from the guys for such a low pick when he's like 30 league and touching on since it came to league and Al Sean. I loved Al Sean. Al Sean did whatever. He won the Super Bowl. He had a torn, torn a rotator cuff. Yeah. He's always injured.

Yeah. He's a warrior in the field this year. So Carson Wenz. Yes. Oh yeah. Better we go. Yeah, dude. Huh?

Is he better than Dak? Absolutely. Fucking Lutley. Yes. All right. Not, not a hesitation there. Yeah. So I'm saying like fantasy football to me, it's kind of like, I hate the fact that guys

now we get at bars and we're talking about individual players. It's like, no, like where's the fandom for the team? Like I'm an Eagles fan, you're a Cowboys fan. We don't have anything to talk about. Right. You know, it's like that type of thing. I hate this. Like people just get into this.

Oh, I got this player and this player and this player is like, uh. Agreed. People talking about fantasy football like a bar just makes me sick. Wait. So is it changed? Because I saw, I think you were on ESPN. It was like owns multiple fantasy teams. Yeah.

I think you said something about that. I might have. No, I might have. Yeah. I was like, nobody cares. Yeah. You have four fantasy teams. I'm like, I didn't ask myself the question.

Yeah. That does sound like me. So do you still have four? Somebody said that. I was just him. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Do you still have four fantasy teams?

I'm in two. I'm in. Yeah. I think I'm probably in five, man. I don't want to be. The one that I honestly care about the most is the one I've been in for 10 years with my high school buddies. That's the one that really means some, but Matthew Barry invited me to a league and then

a couple of these other guys are in a league and one was for charity. Absolutely. You know, that was great. Who's in the team? Honestly, man, I wipe, hit the hit the men in black. Lisa. Yeah. I don't smart.

I mean, I, I know I, I, yeah, I had Kittle because I was trying to grab a no one cares. Sorry, Robin. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear kills. Kills. Awesome.

Why tight ends like I don't, I don't, I don't, I wait for QB. I was running back. I was running back heavy. And yeah, Kittle, I try and get a good tight end cause I think quarter or tight ends are like flavor of the week. Yeah. Like, oh, OJ Howard or something. This guy's hot.

You grab him and he does nothing. So I think if you can get a couple of those top, you know, few guys, then that's a, that's something I try and stick by. As a Philly guy, will you disavow gritty for assaulting that child? I got to see the paper. I got to see the, the, the file. Yeah. Where you have the facts.

You know, innocent until proven. I mean, gritty does look, yeah. Somebody said he looked like a, like a child's drawing of what a serial killer looks like or something. Yes. Yes. That's the ultimate Philly controversy though. He's not.

I love that. Philly fanatic. I don't know if you guys have done this debate on the show, but is hands down the best mascot in sports. I love him. And there's really no, there's really no, who's, who's a second? He's up there. I like who's this?

I mean, okay. Who's your top five? I like your fours in Indianapolis. The one that does like the gyrations when they make a field goal. That guy's a pervert. KC Wolf. Yeah. Here's my problem.

Philly fanatic. Time to sort of beat the shit out of him. Haven't looked at him the same sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I remember going out against the bed and yeah, fanatic always on the, on the four wheeler.

He's just, he's, he's the best. He is. I met him out of his, out of his suit in a, in Clearwater at spring training and I was like, I actually don't want to know that. But even the guy in his own life, he's like very animated and pretty old or a little older now. Yes. Respect.

Yeah. For this. Perfect lie to tell somebody. It's like, Hey, I'm the Philly fanatic. You can't prove that he's not the Philly fanatic. No, you know. Yeah. You know, you can see it in his eyes.

You're like, that guy's been in a costume for way too long. Yeah. Yeah. You can, you can tell. Very friendly. You're, I have to ask you this. So the Esquire thing in 2015, are you a dick? Yeah.

I have a quiz for you to find out personally. If I'm a dick. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. Vince or Keith Godshaw, who's your favorite keyboardist for the Grateful Dead? Uh, I mean, well, yeah, pig pen, just cause he was a, I mean, such a, he was the blues. Okay.

I mean, and he drank himself to death. He wasn't as much into the, you know, once they were getting into the drugs, um, I just, you're always going to have love for pig pen. Okay. All right. So you're not a dick. If you had answered Keith Godshaw, I would have been like, come on, dude. Yeah.

Are you serious with Donna? Are you a deadhead? Yeah, I am. Yeah. So and I like company with, uh, with mayor. I have actually not seen them yet. Oh, you got to see. I know.

I know. And the, I mean, the, the, you know, deadhead, they've really rallied behind John, man, because he adds an energy on the guitar that, you know, when I'd seen further a couple of times there, we're kind of lacking. Yeah. That was a weird time. He does a great Althea, um, yeah. So do you go still see them on the road?

Yeah. I was going to see him at the forum. I didn't see him, but pretty much. Yeah. Every year I'll see him. I was going to go into playing in the same. I'm just telling you things I didn't do. Yeah.

That actually is a podcast idea. Things we didn't do. I didn't play in the NFL. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say the exact same thing. Like I could have been a professional athlete, but I just didn't want to. Well, I'm not saying it could have been out saying I was, I was, yeah.

Like I haven't won an Oscar yet. Yeah. We're going to. Hey, don't give up man. People win Oscars. You have one? Popping out of the blue, huh? Do you have an Oscar?

Yeah. I have three. No, I don't know. No. Oh, you don't? No. Also, then you're part of our podcast. Huh?

You are. We're going to get the XFL habit from the XFL. I tried out. Yeah. I tried out last week. Get out of here. Yeah. They still do the like for the, instead of the kickoff, don't they just throw the ball

out there and two dudes like, no, it's old school. Yeah. And they stopped that because the very first time they did that somebody tore their ACL. Yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't the greatest rule change in the history of sports. But yeah, they did. They do weird kickoff rules.

And now there's no. What was your, what was your trial? I was a kicker. So in four for six. Yep. From 36 yards. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. So you can kick for the bears. I'm still. Yeah, I could. You know what? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I actually have decided Esquire, fuck you, because Miles Teller is not a dick.

He's just Philly. Yeah. Like I know Philly guys. You're Philly. That's not a dick. Yeah. But also you got to realize, man, like that is the nature. You know, it's like you, you know, splashing a little shit talk, you know, it's, uh, it's

not a dick. It's just, it's the nature of, and here's the other thing, man. Like if somebody told you something about somebody, but you hadn't met that person, are you the type of person to just be like, oh yeah, I think, you know, I know nothing about this girl interview, but you know, she's, I'm going to trust her opinion. Right. Are you mad at Esquire? Take that out of the bank.

Are you, are you mad at Esquire for like that whole article? Was that a weird thing to have happen where I was like, fuck this guy? No, I guess just like, you know, in, you know, full disclosure, uh, yeah. You know, it's like my, like I work very, I've worked very hard in this business to get a certain, you know, reputation. That reputation, somebody like works really hard, you know, it's very professional stuff. And it's just annoying how like somebody can come up and, you know, say a little something and it, you know, for people that don't know you, yeah, it kind of soils, soils your name

a little bit. I think reputation is very important. Um, but you know, it's all good. That's, I mean, I think she did her job well because I think more people clicked on her. Yeah. Little profile picture and, you know, for her, man, dick moves more papers than saying Miles Teller. He's a deadhead, you know, fantasy football, fantasy football expert.

What's like a, like an appropriate amount of team. Like if they popped up on there and they're like, Miles is in two fancy football leagues, is that still getting there? I probably would have. Yeah. I probably would have chirped you. Shit on that little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If it just said Miles Teller might know what fantasy football is, I've been like, I'll let that one pass. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So we do. Well, how's the fit? Yeah. I do like his, I do like the setup. I like his voice.

I just like the way it gets into it. Yeah. He's very like, he's passionate. It's erotic. But also he, yeah, but also in the one show he had, he got a long drink. Now long drink is this company that I became like co-owner of in Finland. It's the biggest drink in Finland. It's a mixture of gin and grapefruit.

They're bringing it to the States for the first time. It's a, it's a canned beverage. It's delicious. He tried it and he gave it his, whatever, you know, it was good amount of balls. It was nice. How many solid number of balls? Beautiful. Yeah.

How many balls would you give Top Gun to? Five. Five balls. So you do know the system. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good.

That was a good test. Yeah. You guys said six were like, you're a fraud. No, you only go to five. You only go to five. You only go to six. I left, you went to three. Lucky score.

Yeah. Six out of five, that's not possible. Yeah, it is. The red, the car, the wheel, fire, the ball system. That's kind of like the greatest invention in the world. Yeah. The ball system. Yeah.

I'd put that on there as well. Zero to ten. You're right. Yeah. One to ten. The guitar. The guitar. No one plays the guitar anymore.

Right. Give me a sick like drum space xylophone. Ooh. Haven't you just rolling on the xylophones? I'll see it. You don't take a pistol and drums? I'll see you there. You know, it depends.

I saw, I mean, I used to, but I saw Dead and Company, you know, Hart. He's doing some, like, they're doing some really interesting stuff with like the synthesizer stuff now. Okay. Synth drum sounds. So I, yeah, I stayed. You stayed? Oh, yeah.

Wow. Yeah, I stayed. Bigger man than me. It's like this break. Yeah. I know. It was, I saw him at the Hollywood Bowl, which is a great venue. You've never been there.

That's all. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you watch your own movies? I watch them once with just like a small group, like my publicist, my, my agent Kelly and my wife. And yeah, it's pretty uncomfortable. Like even the first time we saw Whiplash, I was just like, I don't know, you know, it's

so, you work on some for so long, well Whiplash was like 19 days, but you work on some for so long, you know, it's months and months and you have all these, you know, it's like an experience making thing, all this shit. And then it's cut down into two hour movie is like, that's what I look at. I hate listening to my voice, all this stuff. And then I'll watch it at the premiere and just kind of as a, you know, I think that's just being kind of professional. And then yeah, that's it.

Every once in a while, we sit in there with a good buzz and I'll be like, I want my moves on. I'm like, let me watch this shit. And now I was like, turn this all my God. Yeah. That's uncomfortable. Probably be uncomfortable watching. You listen to your own podcast.

You watch your stuff back. No. Yeah. See. Ever, ever, ever. That's like reading like, you know, like, you mentioned something that is just like, you know, you want to read some. No, I mean, sometimes, you know, sometimes, but for the most part, I don't have Instagram,

you know, Twitter or something. I feel like I can write some stuff and then kind of get off it. But it's just so, everyone's just pretty, no, no, so you don't search your name, huh? Like I'm on Google or something. No, like name search on Twitter. See what the people are saying. Um, not, not really. I guess maybe if I'm seeing, yeah, if something's like that, do you want us to do it on it

right now? Search for you. Nice. I mean, you know, whatever. You guys want to spend this time. Yeah. Perfect way to spend this time. This is great, great podcasting.

Nice. Do you have a podcast? No. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

Who's the big sponsors here? Amsterdam Vodka? Yeah. Do you guys shout them out before like Rogan? Honestly, Miles Teller fucking sucks. How do I know this? He's, he's exactly to the T, the type of guy I'd fall for. Oh, that turketer.

Oh, wow. Damn. Wow. I thought I got you there. Wow. Fuck. Wow. Shit.

All right. So that, that woman likes you a lot. Do I have to lean forward in this thing? Yo, Miles Teller fucking sucks. LMAO. I don't know what you did to that guy. So yeah, you should check this just to stay humble. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you saw me talking about your fantasy team, so you at least saw that, right? I mean, do you want to know just like what a bunch of kind of random people are thinking about you? Sometimes. Yeah.

Well, the good ones. I mean, I like, yeah, I get, I think it says slippery sliver. Yeah. I try to. This one is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think what they're saying, La Pena is, La means big. It's actually. It's the Mexican. Yeah.

You do the math. Yeah. Exactly. It just means Miles Teller is a dick and he has too many fantasy teams. That's the direct translation. I mean, I'll take a word for it. I got out of college. I took, I dropped AP calculus when the French won.

Fuck yes. That's kind of a humble brag. That's a brag. That's a brag. That's a brag. Calculus though. I like that. Here's a good one.

This is from Husky Dave Grohl. He said, just peed next to Miles Teller. Do you remember that? Yeah. There was a guy kind of staring. Looking like Dave Grohl. Yeah. That was from earlier today.

Oh, okay. That's why you don't, that's why kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's why you guys, you know, stay on that. It is a scary, the world's, the internet is a scary place. It is. He got 40 likes on that.

Wow. That's a, that's a, man, that's the best way to chase cloud is just this next to it. That's nice. I have. He's got the most followers out of, out of the different personalities here and you guys like, are you guys like, I got more followers than you, man. No, no, really? No.

Yeah. I just got verified. I also watch, uh, was it rigs? I watch the golf. Yeah. Yeah. That's a nice, I like that. That's a cool setup, man.

Not as good as the ball system, but it's good. Maybe if we can get rigs to start raiding golf courses on the ball scale, now we got Miles Teller. Yeah. But then, but then it's going to get to a point where you don't need one of them. Right. So if they want, you know, you got to stay in your lane a little bit. Right.

All right. I got a real question for you. No, you don't. How the hell, no, I do. I mean, what movies you want to do? Um, I mean, it, it, it depends, uh, Top Gun, I had to audition for, um, but that was something that, uh, we, it's the director who I worked with on this film, Only the Brave, which is about the wildland firefighters in Prescott, Arizona, a couple of years ago, passed away

19 out of the 20. Um, so I, you know, but for the most part, uh, it kind of goes in ways, man. Like I, I was working a lot and I was like, I'll take some time off, took a year off and then, you know, uh, I thought certain scripts were going to be there. They weren't, uh, if I'm fortunate, which is what I've, I've been lucky to do the, the script that I've read like bleed for this or thank you for your service. Uh, you know, Only the Brave, uh, spit tackered out the whiplash. Those were films that I read and loved and the director wanted to work with me.

Right. Um, but yeah, sometimes you got to, you know, I don't know. I always, for me, I guess it's like, how good is this script? What's the potential of the project? Right. Where I'm like, even if we did the best version of this, it's, you know, it's like a seven. So you want to, you want, at least want to give yourself a chance to win. Now, whether or not that movie, you know, you can be in a great movie, but nobody sees

it. So then it's like, is that looked at as a failure? Even though the movie, you know, you made a great movie, but people just didn't happen to see it. Right. They're honest. Soldiers dealing with PTSD. They didn't want to see a movie with wildland firefighters or whatever it is.

So it's, uh, it's interesting, man. Then it'll get to a certain point, you know, where you, you know, you'll, you also, it's your livelihood. So it's one of the few professions, um, where, you know, you can absolutely be a sellout. You can lose a lot of your audience by making the most money at your skill set, you know, so that's a balance too. That's a game you got to play. That's an interesting like way to put it, because you're basically saying, if you want

to maximize your money, take care of your family, people could look at it and be like, fuck this guy. That's, uh, yeah. I mean, that's the thing. People say, oh, we can do this or this, uh, and it's like, now, great, I've never really done something purely for, you know, a paycheck. Uh, I haven't even really got to that point. People are just throwing tons of money at me to do something stupid.

Um, but, uh, yeah, I mean, I look at him like, man, the money, like whenever I've made money on stuff, yeah, exactly. Like what it's done for me to be able to help out, you know, my family and stuff like that. So, and my buddy's obviously wanted to get to the point like Clooney, where he gave, you know, all his best friends a million bucks. Right. Are you going to do that? Yeah.

No. Are we your friends? No, I just like it. Yeah. 500,000. No, you're actually going to owe me money. Okay. Shit.

Probably after this. So wait, hold on. We'll put you in our script. What script? We have a movie. You guys have a movie? Yeah. Adam Sandler is like, how about it?

How about it? Yeah. Yeah. Adam Sandler is producing it. What's that? What's that? For real? It's real.

You know who's attached? Uh, little guy named Zac Efron. You know him? Yeah. All right. Yeah. What's this? What is it?

It's kind of like a mixture of Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger with Hansel and Gretel. So they get lost in the woods. They all make fun of the dog because he's the only one with a boner, but it snows and the only way they can find the way back. They make fun of the dog because he's the only one that can get a boner. Yeah. No one else has a boner all the time. Yeah.

Red Rocket. Yeah. No one's got the lipstick except him. And it snows and it covers up their trash. The lipstick. That's good. And they can only get back by tracing the boner on the way back. Yeah.

Now it's just live action or animation. It's animation. It's animation. Sure, yeah. I think we're going to produce it in the Bahamas offshore. Nice. So it's going to be in a foreign animated short. So it'll be really easy to get nominated for an Oscar that you've been chasing.

Nice. Who's the fire festival, dude? Billy. Yes. Billy. Billy. Billy. No.

It sounds like it. We already have that on the same island. Sandler. Sandler. Zach Efron. Now why Jimmy? Yeah. I remember.

That's funny. No. We're serious. You know what Jimmy? Zach in his like old videos and stuff. Yeah, I think he's a pretty funny kid. Yeah. Did you ever watch like the Bo Burnham stuff?

Yeah, we get him attached. Bo Burnham hilarious. Yeah, we get him attached. David Spade. Anyone you want. Now what? David Spade. What?

Zach Efron. Tofer Christ. Why did Zach, I mean he came after, he came after this. He just went to his house and we did a video with him and he did our podcast and we basically trapped him in a van and we said, before you leave, you need to sign right here and he signed. So we actually did Boozen Burgers with Zach Efron. Nice.

Did he hit the bun? Yes. You actually said I don't usually do this and then we turned on the camera and we went after it. Okay. Cheap day. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's got a good body.

Yeah. Great. Yeah. Do you know Zach? Do you know Zach? Yeah, we did a movie. Me, him and Michael B. Jordan. This movie, that awkward moment.

Oh, sounds good. Yeah. Is there a genre? It's no boner dog. No. A couple of chuckles in there. A few yucks. Is there a genre of movie that you've wanted to do?

I feel like I've done a good amount. I've done the porn. Corn? Porn. Pornography. Porn has her own genre of music. Pornography. Pornography.

You take just a husk and you know, you can play your own show in there. Freak on these shows. The title's right there. What about sports? Sports. Sports movie. I would love to do a baseball movie. Really?

I just think baseball lends itself cinematically because at any given time, half the team's in the dugout. It's a slower pace. You know, it's in between the pitches, balls and not, and play that much. And yeah, it's just some classic about it. Will write you a baseball movie? Yeah. No.

Yeah. We could. Baseball movie. We could write it. All right. So what about a movie where it's you? No, hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hear me out. Hit it. So you know those bat dogs? Huh? The bat dogs that bring the bats out and they bring them back. Yep.

The minor leagues have it. So the dog has a boner. Has a boner. And you keep breaking your bat. So like, boom, maple, I don't know what wood it is, and you can't find your way. And the dog keeps coming out and dragging the boner. And then eventually I need help. Okay.

So, so the last time he goes out there, he slips and falls on the leaded batting donut. Yes. And it becomes a cock ring for the dog. Nice. And now the dog's got a boner for the rest of his life. And you win the World Series. Yeah. In the first movie?

Yeah. Where do we go from there? Because I'm thinking franchise boys. You're thinking like the sequels to this day. Have you ever heard of a little thing called Bad News Bears? They went and played in Japan? Yeah. For Bad News Bears 2?

What was the other movie? Was that what Tom Selke played in Japan? Was that Mr. Baseball? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think you're in on this.

Yeah. Are we going to have like a chimpanzee that plays third base? And then you could become best friends. It would be called Ed, the name of the chimpanzee. Is this doing anything for you? No. Yeah. You haven't seen the movie Ed?

Yeah. I think we had a good place to start. Yeah. Anything I'd like to see in a movie with a monkey. Maybe less boners and stuff. Right, right. Okay, we could kind of non-negotiate. Yeah.

Semi. It depends on the budget. Semi. Okay. At what point do you look at your PR person and you're like, get me out of here? About right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to wrap up.

We got to wrap up. All right. I actually do have one last question. Go see Top Gun Maverick. That's not a question. In the summer, there's a statement leading to a question. Top Gun Maverick. Miles Sellers is not a dick.

He spent 25 minutes with him. I think he hates us, but he's not a dick. The 32 tattoo. Yeah. Can you explain that? That's a pretty fucking bad attitude. Yeah. I mean, so there was, I'm just going to come off.

I'm glad it's on camera. No, you're not a dick. So, yeah, we grew up in a small town. You know, it was about like 10,000 people. Me and all my buddies. And in Florida, they don't sell. The biggest beers they sold were 32 ounce beers. So we started drinking pretty young age.

And so before like volleyball game, football game, whatever was, we were always drinking 32s at like 16, 17. Somebody was like, oh, you know, 32 crews here. And we're at that age. We were like, hell fucking yeah, we're here. Like all walking around like macho man. Just fucking suck it. Whatever.

And so whatever. And then we got in like our, you know, you know, college. Sometimes we were like, man, that was so lame. Like the 32 crew was that we had like bellbuggles shit. Like my buddy got me. That was like a goof from like Spencer's or something. Never wore it, but kept it. Yeah.

And then, and then as we got older, there is, yeah, there's like, yeah, about, you know, eight, eight of us who all still super close in our friend group. We went through, we lost two buddies in car accidents, like five weeks from each other. The one my buddy Bo guess was like, you know, just one of our closest friends. That was, that was rough.

But yeah, man, it's so whatever we have 32 and everybody, everybody's got it. That's actually cool. It's really numerous. Hold on. That's a cool tattoo. When I read that, I thought you had like a can and it said 32 on it.

That's a badass tattoo. And we got it in my hometown. We're actually going to at this bar, high octane saloon. Shout them out, but we actually tried to get, they have a tattoo Parker in the bar. So we actually, we're going to, we actually asked each other up. He said, no, let me call buddy up. Woke him up.

And this is one of the better looking ones. Some of them are like the line is clearly crooked. And I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. It's a bit chilly. No, it's good.

But yeah. I like it. When I saw it, it just looks like a Super Bowl tattoo. Yes. Super Bowl 32. You should get it. I'm looking up right now. That was the Patriots.

That's a guess. Wait. No, it was. That would have been what? 24 years ago. And the Broncos. Broncos one. Yeah.

So people were like, yeah, you're a big Broncos fan. Yeah. Super Bowl 52. Yeah. You should get that too on the other bicep. Yeah. Yeah. I have one last question.

Why don't more movies end in the outtake reels? Yeah. I don't know. You're saying for comedies, right? No. Like dramas? Like Philadelphia have like an outtake. Outtake afterwards.

Just like lighting the mood a little bit for the people on the way home. I know, but I guess a lot of movies now do stuff after the credits, right? Isn't that a whole thing? Like to such and such have a post-credits scene. Right. But I'm with you on the outtakes. I mean, yeah. Jackie Chan.

Right. The best ever do that. Yeah. Absolutely. People don't talk about that enough. Absolutely. You see the goat? The goat of the, what?

The outtakes? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd agree. Yeah. Bill O'Reilly. Disagreement here.

Bill O'Reilly. Chris Berman. Uh-huh. You don't listen. What? We do that every Monday. Oh, nice. In the football season.

Yeah. I check it. It doesn't sound as cool. I check it. You just did it. You're like, oh, I guess that's cool. No, but to be fair, I have some. Yeah.

That's good. Yeah. You do it a lot. Yeah. It's just air coming out now. You got to commit. The frozen tundra. The, no, for whatever reason, like my computer, there's some weird shit on it, but like for

whatever reason, not weird shit. Yeah. Relax. Relax. It makes it sound like I got a kitty porn on there. No, no, no. Kitty corn. Kitty corn.

Cornography. Cornography. Uh, but yeah, my computer literally will not let me go to Barstool Sports. Really? Yeah. Your wife blocked it, firewalled it. That's what's up. Yeah.

All right. No, that's a true story. Well, Miles, thank you, man. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Go see Top Gun Maverick 2. Yeah. You were not decidedly not a dick, just a Philly guy.

That's right. That's it. Yeah. There it is. Love it. Cool. Thanks. That interview with Miles Teller was brought to you by Lucy Gum.

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That's right. How many beers do you guys like to drink on an average weekend? One to two zillion? Yeah. At least a couple zillion. What about you, Hank? What was the last time you had zillion beers? Last weekend, yesterday, actually.

I drink zillion beers all the time, even on Mondays sometimes when I'm watching Monday night football games. Love to have a zillion beers. It doesn't discriminate against the day of the week as zillion beers is good. Any night. It's taking over the planet. It's more than just merchandise. It's a lifestyle.

St. Patrick's Day shirts and hoodies are here. Zillion beers, koozies, crewnecks, hats, coolers, you got crop tops for the ladies. Our guy Dana B. He's going to get 100,000 cash if zillion beers merch hits one million in sales by Sunday night. So if you want to bankrupt Dave, check out Zillion Beers merch now available at store.barstelsports.com. I'm rocking some zillion beers merch right now. I had no idea this was going to be an ad. Checkmark zillion beers.

No checkmark for taking it easy because it's always time for zillion beers. I love it. Dana's a good guy. He's going to join us for guys on chicks in a little bit. Let him pitch his own product, but go check out zillionbeers at store.barstelsports.com. All right. Let's get to some segments. We'll finish up with a few and then we will have Dana on.

So first up, we have bachelor talk, Hank. We had our own friend Trent on the bachelor luggage guy. Trent is the guy who gives us the bachelor notes, right? Yep. He was on the bachelor. Massive, massive day for Trent. Yeah. So he had basically like manifest destiny, tweeted many times he wanted to be the luggage

guy. And he finally made it happen last night. Other notes, Madison, the Auburn basketball player girl. She's a virgin. Nice. No judgment. Good girl. Trent pulled Natasha's luggage when she got kicked off.

Oh, Tosh. Is that what they're calling it these days? Tosh. Kelly was sent home. Okay. See ya. Hannah Ann and Victoria have both cried and got roses. I don't like the name Hannah Ann.

Yeah, that's a lot. It sounds like you're like a cut rate cabbage patch doll. I'm pretty sure. So there's, I saw a Twitter thread with some girl that apparently Hannah Ann and Hannah B, who was, you remember as the bachelor last season, actually went to high school together. Oh. What's going on?

Wow. Kelsey. Do they share a fantasy, like daily fantasy login to? No. Kelsey also got a rose and she was the one with champagne gate and pill popping gate. So they will be going to her hometown, Iowa. Pill popping gate. So the drama, the drama's paying off for Kelsey.

Nice. What's pill popping gate? She was the one that said the girl was popping pills and the girl was like, no, it's just Adderall on birth control. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Who could forget? Pill popping gate.

Who could forget pill popping gate? The moral of the story is that Trent is the star of the bachelor this year. Yes. Absolutely. I mean, if you saw the luggage pull that he had, Judd Apatow, that was so funny. All business. Judd Apatow just randomly being like, I love this luggage guy. Like the, the expression straight out of a movie is one that was used.

And then a guy who has literally made some of the best movies the last 20 years also saw it and thought, that guy is straight out of a movie. I have to put this on Instagram. He's, he's, Trent's going to end up in the next Judd Apatow movie. Yeah. That will be like a bell hop. Yeah. That'll be in a hotel.

He's also not a poster. Like I was going on Instagram. He like, he doesn't really, he's not really an active social media user, but in that moment he was so struck by Trent's luggage carrying, he's like, I got to get this on the ground. He knows talent when he sees this. By that frame. That big, strong frame.

All right. We have this league for- But also by state, I feel like people from Iowa are probably better than any other state at packing luggage too. And being on the bachelor. I feel like there's always someone from Iowa on the bachelor. We have Joel Embiid, this league. So he posted a caption or sorry, a picture with him doing the shush and said, the dark night quote, live long enough to be the hero or die the villain.

Is that right? No, you either die a hero or you live long enough to become a villain. And Jimmy Butler responded, I know a great place where villains like Thrive or something. I can't pull it up. The internet sucks. I did say that and then Joel Embiid replied to him like affirmative. Yeah. I forget what emoji you used, but he was like, yeah, let's do it.

Get the band back together. A little heat check. Joel Embiid hates Ben Simmons. My Miami Heat, let's go. Well, they can't get him this year. Let's get Mark Wahlberg's daughter involved in the recruiting process. Yeah, they can't get a squad on South Beach. This year, but that is, Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons really do not like each other.

I did realize that, you remember season one, you're one of part of my, excuse me. I've a new segment after this, by the way. Okay. You'll remember year one of part of my take, I left my wallet at the Q arena. Yes. The Quicken Loans arena. The Quicken Loans arena. And the Cavaliers ended up winning the championship.

I left my half of my wallet down in Miami. But not at the Super Bowl. Not at the arena. Not at the arena, but I'm just saying, I don't know. Got it. I don't want to prematurely connect any dots, but it seems like a lot of stuff has been happening with you. How do you lose half of your wallet?

There's a lot of stuff. I was taking credit cards out of my wallet. So you didn't lose, you lost your credit cards. We can talk about now that the interview had just aired, but super weird a Miles Teller to start going through your credit card. Oh yeah, that was a weird moment. So it was shortly after that, I realized I had to get rid of some of the stuff that was in there.

I got rid of some of it. And I left a debit card at the bar there. So not even close to your wallet, you just left your debit card down in Florida. And a lot of other stuff. A lot of other cards. Not in any arena. Yeah. It was.

You just lost your debit card. I lost my debit card in Miami. And I got nothing to do with the other stuff. Yeah. I'm just saying, I'm trying to put together what has happened since we've left Miami because I've become somehow kind of attached to this heat team, mostly because of their jerseys. But I'm going to say that it has something to do with the fact I left my wolf card down there.

You're really going to be stuck in a pickle if the heat actually do go on the run and it's because Jimmy Butler is a top 10 player in the league. No, I think that he just needed the right environment. Right. What are you going to say if he does that? I'm going to say this just goes to show that before he was not a top 10 player or else he would have willed his team to the finals. Got it.

Got it. Thank you guys for your statement. There's a really big spin zone here. Yeah. I got a Michael Wilbons name drop of the week. Just came in from David Wallace. Oh. He randomly, so he's been on the show a few times and he randomly will just pop in with

some text messages every now and then. He sent me a picture of him, A-Rod and Tiger at some like celebrity golf event and just said, chatting about Barclay yesterday with A-Rod and Tiger Woods at Riviera Tiger Challenge. Super nice guy. All of them actually. That's a pretty sick. That's a pretty sick name drop. That's pretty.

Yeah. And if you can get A-Rod and Tiger involved, do you think they had any idea who he was? Yeah. I think he's a good golfer. Yeah. He is. He was a member. He got scholarship at Stanford.

Yeah. Yeah. They know who he is. Okay. So yeah, if you went to Stanford and Tiger knows him for sure. Yes. Yes. When he said.

It's like a celebrity program. When he said he's a nice guy, both of them actually. Super nice guy. All of them actually. All of them actually. Who do you think he was talking about like at first saying like super nice guy A-Rod? Yeah. And then he started the conversation with chatting about Barclay yesterday with A-Rod.

Yes. Yes. All right. Shout out CFO Michael David Walls. You got Dave Walls. Dave Walls. Dave Walls. Okay.

Let's finish up the show with guys on chicks and also we have made a major booking. The internet's number one celebrity. It is Zillion Beers guy also known as Dana B who also fun history lesson for everyone out there. Dana B got into this world by being the part of my take intern and then quit because we were basically not paying him and he was like I can't keep doing this. Still my phone is Dana PMT. Yeah.

You could have in another world you could be sitting where Bubba is right now and we would have been like dude, Zillion beers are stupid. You're fucked up. Don't do it. I know my life to Hank Lockwood and I've said that since day one. Thank you Henry. What about us? Yeah.

Yeah. That too. I mean I mostly just like did stuff for Hank. Not really you. Well I mean it was my proxies. Yeah but it was mostly all Hank. Right. Dana wouldn't you say that like if you were working for part of my take that we could

have like blasted we could have blasted Zillion beers just open a beer that you would have already made a million dollars and it's chugging it and it's chugging it and it's chugging it and it's get it in the mic dude. So Dana I have a question. I have a question. I like Dana. Dana for the AWLs. For the AWLs.

I do love the ASMR of Dana butchering a beer. He has to do another one where we just all stay quiet and he does the whole thing. Our living under a rock and maybe having been on the internet in the past week. What is Zillion beers and how did this whole thing start? All right. So there's a softball team in Hangam, Massachusetts. Shout out to the South Shore. Again shout out to the coaching tree Henry Lockwood.

I'm going to keep shouting them out. Great. Okay. And their team name was Zillion beers. It's been around since 2016 and I thought that was funny. Like I just saw them and I was like hey that's a funny name and I just started saying it organically. It's like one of your buddies says something.

Wait, wait, wait. Do you know what organic? Because what you just described was. You're right. That was the opposite of organic. You saw it and then you repeated it. Yeah. But I popularized it.

That's fine. You popularized it. There you go. There you go. You know what? You amplified it. You signal boosted it. Softball team.

Yeah. Then you see. You want a beer? Yeah. Then you see the Friday beers Twitter. No, we don't talk about that. Oh shit. My bad.

So Dana, is this your job right now to just sit at work and crack beers? For the most part, yeah, this week I've had several weekday, like midday beers and honestly I love it. It's very European of you. This is your brand now. You can't go anywhere. I know. You're the Zillion beers guy.

I'm so fucked. I don't know. That might not be understanding what's happening. You were our boss said if you sell 30k worth of merch, he'll give you like 5k and you said- Wait. Back up even more. Let's back up. We're doing a terrible job.

Dana B is a producer. He's a behind the scenes guy. Every weekend he was tweeting out videos where people would send in requests for songs and then he would play the song and crush a beer and he said I'm the Zillion beers guy and he would constantly try to be in front of the camera and Dave said guys who are behind the camera should be behind the camera and you said well Zillion beers is pretty much like Microsoft, Apple, the Ford, like all these companies that people that revolutionize the world like you think you're sitting at home right now saying oh this weekend I can't

wait to have a beer. No. How about a Zillion beers. Wait. Do the ASMR. Did you hear the crack? Yeah. This is me taking the-

Why are you taking the tab off? I'm not saying anything. I don't usually do that but I'm trying to get more ASMR going. Go ahead, no one's saying it. For the environmental juggles. Yeah, go. There's some cracking the beer can on the set. That's Dana's job.

So Dana has a moment where Dave says you got to stop trying to be Zillion beers guy and Dana says, listen Dave, you're sitting on a fucking gold mine. People out there have been drinking one or two beers for their entire life. They haven't even thought about drinking a zillion of them. So let me sell the merch. Let me push it. And they made a deal that if Dana sells $30,000 a merch in basically like eight hours, he gets to do zillion beers for life. It then has taken off from there and you've made various negotiation deals that have been very ill advised to the point where now you have to sell a million dollars worth of merch by next Sunday. You had 25k cash in your hand. You needed to sell 250,000

and a pussy. You would have got 25k cash and you did that. You succeeded in that and you yourself unmitigated from anyone were like, no, no, no. Even though I already hit the 25k, I could get 25k on Monday. You said, let me give me till next Sunday. And if I sell a million, then I get $100,000. Correct. Which is where we're at now. Right now it's five o'clock on Tuesday. We're at 450,000. The weekdays are vital. Because the weekend I know I'm going to crush it. We got the date coming up on Friday confirmed. I actually am just about to buy her flight. Yeah. You want to shout out to me? Yeah, shout out to Dan. You haven't heard this one yet? I realized that Friday's Valentine's Day, so

I said the way to really take it over the top is you need to figure out a girl who will go on a date with you in your apartment and just crush a zillion beers. As soon as I heard him say that, I had this girl on Twitter that was in my DMs once and her pinned tweet is her jumping in bushes and shit. She's Bill's Mafia. So I'm like, she's a zillion beers. You guys remember Vodka Sam from College Baseball a while ago? Yeah. You've got the updated. She's zillion beers. I want her to slam me through a ping pong table. But it's just going to be the two of them having a date in their apartment, their rat nest. That's going to be fine. That's going to be a good time. Is it frowned upon if I throw her into

a table? Yes. Yes. Don't do that. Absolutely. Don't do that. Don't do that. Okay. Push and jump. As your strategic advisor, I'm happy we talked about what if she's like, I want to do that. No, no, no. Well, maybe if she showed her picture ID in front of your black leather couch. With computers these days, you can edit videos. I don't know. Yeah. Just don't do that part. All right. So now you're trying to get a million. And if you get a million, you get 100,000. You're going to give 15,000 to the Pete Freedy's ALS Foundation, which is a great cause. Now, my question for you is, do you understand how taxes work? Certainly not. Okay. Did you hear when he said he's in my coaching tree? Yeah. So you've

been giving away money and I don't think you realize that you're only going to end up with like $50,000. That's $50,000 more than a half. Dana did say the other day that he's a millionaire now. He's gotten $0 and he only can get 100,000. But no, if you sell a million dollars worth of it, I think that it entitles you to say that you're a millionaire, even though you don't make a million dollars. That is exactly what I'm expecting to do to everybody I see. By the way, Dan, you're right. If I walked into Southie right now, I think I could be getting my wings sucked left and right. Yeah, you would. Zillion beers guy. Here comes Zillion beers guy. That's the guy. Let's go to the bathroom and get my wings sucked.

Yeah. But before that, you have to drink like 7,000 zillion beers. What about with the girls? Good one, dude. Dan, here's my question for you is once you make this money, because I'm sure that you're going to hit it, you're marketing genius. I am. You're doing great work here. What are you going to do with the money that you make from it? Because people are going to be expecting that you're going to have to reinvest that into just buying beers. More zillions. Just beers. I might just buy like, I literally might just buy, go to like a packy, which is what us Massachusetts guy call the fucking alcohol store, the booze store. Okay, we don't say that. And just buy all of their kegs

and just put them in my apartment. What you should do is you should walk into like a, yeah, no, he's right. No, he's right. He should walk into an alcohol store. I would just buy one at a time. No, you drink a keg over the course of three weeks. It tastes great. Yeah. Then you just pop open the other keg that's been sitting in your apartment for the last. Actually, Dan, you know what you do? Dead serious. Yeah. You open your own store called Zillion beers. That's genius. It's just beer. It's just beers. You only sell beer. What about merch? Yeah, yeah, you can have some merch behind the counter. I don't think so. How about this? If you wear a zillion beer shirt into zillion beers, you get a beer for free. I don't hate that. A cold one.

I don't hate that one bit. Can we call an audible here? Because we did have guys on chicks, but I wanted to, I forgot, this is actually your second time on the show. And I would like to actually do Dana's thoughts. So you have your thoughts. You have your notebook. I don't know. Where is it? Long gone. What do you mean? Also, I had a notebook that was just labeled to zillion beers and it was all my ideas for zillion beers. So give us those. Give us your thoughts. I don't know. It's gone. It's a physical notebook. But you can remember the things that you had. It was mostly memes, which I've retired from. I've gone from memes. You don't truly retire. Is there any beer counted better? No, but I actually drink beers. I'm on a faceless

Howard like certain people. We don't talk about that. But you know what? I just followed that account. It's very funny. Fuck those guys. They stink. Listen, we're not here to start an internet war against other accounts. You can do that. You can do that by yourself. But I've graduated. I've graduated to just yugging beers as the boys. Yeah. Very mature. He's next level. So give us some thoughts. So you have Dana thoughts. Just give us a few. Ask me a question. I'll give you I don't know. Like, you know, I'll go through my notes. Give us your notes. Give us your notes. How's your winter going? Winter? Yeah, winter. Winter. He's getting his ween socked left and right. My weiner. It's I'm in the big cat camp. I'm a grower, not a shower.

Mm hmm. Okay. I'm saying yep. Small dick club. Yeah. Life. Tiny meat gang, right? That's what SD for life. Honestly, there's not much. It's just my list of zillion beers and it says Bill's mafia. That's got to be a t shirt. All right. Okay. I don't know what but this is inside the mind of a marketing genius, folks. The gang drinks a zillion beers. Okay. So again, it sounds like you're really into the boosting business. That's a good one. It's a good. Okay. I can't tell if you're foggy. No, I'm serious. That's gold. You see what he's wearing right here. Obviously, they can't see, but it says zillion beers. Checkmark taking it easy. No checkmark. Zillion beers. Checkmark mixing in a water. No check.

What about what about a zillion beers anthem? Yeah, what you're trying to do here. Feel like you need an anthem. I know what you're trying to do. No, I'm not. I'm not trying to try to push you in one direction or the other. All right. What else? The ex was fell team. The ones that were yugging those beers in the locker room. They were actually Bud Light Seltzer's. Thank you, Bud Light Seltzer. They, Nick Fitzgerald, their quarterback said that if we get a merch this week. Mississippi State. Yup. Fuck Brandon Walker. Big cone tip. I don't know. I don't know. You're drunk. You're drunk. No, I'm not. You're always drunk. You want me to get another beer?

I'll prove to you I'm not drunk. I'll drink another beer. They are going to see where the zillion beers, St. Patty's merch in the locker room if they win next week. Okay. Take a picture. Okay. That's not an idea. Just a fact. All right. Give us more. A zillion beer. What percent chance do you think you have to make a million? I'm actually 90%. Don't you think it's a little weird that you didn't make your goal a zillion? Yeah, but a zillion is like, how do you, how do you calculate a zillion? I don't know. You're the zillion beers guy. I mean, did I just ruin the. Oh, I gotta go on. I gotta go on. Buzz Light beer to a zillion and beyond.

That's gold. Okay. What else? The Toronto Tavern. You know how they all like scream? It's just me drinking a beer on there and they go fucking nuts. I thought you were tired from the meme game. No, no. Okay. That's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. That's a gift shirt. Shout out Mark Cuban. Why don't you have like five shirts? You get your friend. You get them for your friend. So it's like you all to stay next to each other. Why don't you make zillion beers the official beer of the Toronto Tavern? If they're into that, can we like that's what you should do if you know you should open if you get the 100k you should open a place called the Toronto Tavern. Here's an idea. Here's an idea. What about a shirt that says it's a it's a tweet. It's your tweet

and it's you chugging a beer and it says thread one dash. A zillion. That's genius. That's pretty good. Who would buy that though? I would. Yeah, I know you would. Yeah. So there you go. You got one. I am the zillion beers guy. Yeah. It's okay. What else you got? And this is I listen. Kids are probably like paying, I don't know, $300,000 to go to business school. Just listen to Dean Abbey. I'm actually a marketing genius. I know. I'm not joking. I know. All right. You know, you guys watch Always Sunny? Yeah. Yeah. You already did that. Yeah. I got another meme. Okay. It's Always Zillion and Beer Adulter. Did you think we didn't watch Always Sunny when we laughed about the first one? My brain's going left right up down all over the place. Okay. All right. Rickety Cricket,

you know him. You know how he gets progressively like shittier. The first when he's like the guy and he's good. What's the word when you're religious? You're a priest. Priest. When you're a priest, that's a thousand beers and he keeps going million billion and then final stage is zillion. So there's a galaxy. God. How about this one? How about Drake going like this to one beer and then going like that? Oh, what about doing the 10 year challenge? What about the zillion beer challenge where it's a picture of everyone when they're sober and then after they've had a zillion. I like that a lot. I mean, this is we're cooking now. Can we do? Can I do the 612, 1824? But I just have to be beers? Yeah. So you can drink 6 beers. You can drink 12 beers, 18 beers and 24 beers. 60 beers.

That's a lot of beers. Should I just do that? Yeah, just do that. Just drink 60 beers. All right. Should I just drink 60 beers and call it the 612? What about what about you on like myfreakams.com or made you a cam girl? Only fans? Yeah, only fans. I have no joke. I've gotten like 30 people being like, you should go on only fans and Chuck beers. You should. That's your thing. It's like just tip me in the comment section. I don't want to be like subscription service. I want my beers to be for everyone. Right. That's true. I do want to talk to you a little bit about the zillion beers anthem because I want to give it to you for free. Okay. Is that true? Yeah, it's absolutely true. All right. It's high hopes for a living. All right. Why drink one beer when you could drink

a zillion? Dana's selling merch. Yeah, he's going to make a killing. Ooh, nice. I could go on, but we'll save it for the studio. Okay. I'm down. All right. Give us two more zillion beer merch ideas and we'll wrap up the show. All right. This isn't really funny, but baseball jerseys and they're like on the back. It says the number is a zillion and I haven't figured out what the name is, but maybe it just says beers. Yeah, beers. That's good. I was going to say, you know, I was going to say, um, what about? Want me to get another one? Yeah. If you reversed it and the name beer. No, I don't. Hey, can you go get him another beer so we can finish the beer? He's starting to power down. He's got a mini fridge that I bought you. That's true. Oh, gasoline,

you need it in your body too. Where's last time you were sober? I've been sober this morning. And yesterday morning. Okay. So morning. Wait, didn't you drink a beer? Yeah, but I'm not a pussy. I didn't get shit faced off one beer. Right. Okay. I'm also not a hard-o. Right. Okay. Uh-oh. Okay. So all right. So last one and then you'll take us out with a zillion with a chug. All right. Um, honestly, I don't know. You don't have the buzz light beer one. It was like, that's the retirement. I should have ended without one. Yeah. Yeah. Plus light beer. That's pretty. What about? Oh, what about John beer? And it's a tractor. Mowing a lawn of a zillion years. How do you guys come up with this shit? That would be pretty good.

Yeah. That's sick. Yeah. That's good, right? How do you, what's the lawnmower though? Oh, have I ever told you the time I came from a lawnmower? Okay, go ahead. You haven't heard this one? No. Do you guys know this back in the back? All right. So when my first time coming, would I say that? Yeah. Yeah. This is so much shit. Was I was mowing a lawn and I was in like fifth grade and the vibrations were going all through my body and I just came in my pants. And I was like, what's going on? We'll put that in the book. We'll put that in the book. Yeah. When you write your book about, you know, how you became a zillionaire off zillion beers, you lost your virginity to a lawnmower. That's awesome. That's pretty stupid. I can't believe

you guys haven't heard that. No, that's fine. I mean, no, that's not a story. We're a dozen guys around. Yeah. John beer, have it just a green t-shirt with like the deer logo on it, except maybe the deer is even chugging a beer. Or yeah, you go multiple ways. Yeah, put that in your, in your notebook. John beer. Oh, how about, how about like old, old school, remember the no fear shirts, no beer. And then on the back it says not. We got a zillion. Oh, yeah. That we're talking. Good old not joke there. So now I wrote down John beer, deer drinking a beer. Yeah. Well, you could do two. And then also the John beer mowing, mowing crops of zillion beers. Yeah. One that says I came using a lawnmower. Also just, I think that one, you guys are telling

me you've never, come on. No, I've never fucked a lawnmower. No, you didn't fuck it, but it goes through your body. Sharp, dude. It's very sharp. I'll do one more. All right. We're about on the show with your one more X files, but the, the Z files. Oh, I actually had a great idea. I forgot to tell you guys. Okay. A zillion, except it starts with an X. Oh, nice. I don't know who that goes out to, but it's a new number. All right. Okay. I'm drinking exillion beers tonight. Okay. That's it. All right. That one maybe we'll cut, but yeah. This is Dana B. And we are ASMR drinking a zillion beers. Love you guys. We'll all be coming for you tonight.

It's part of my take presented by far stool sports.