Pardon My Take - Adam Schefter, Live From The NFL Combine Plus Fyre Fest Of The Week

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

We’re live from Indy for the NFL combine as the world awaits the weight/height of another man (Bryce Young). We talk stories from Indy some basketball and report cards by the NFLPA for every team (00:00:00-00:28:08). Adam Schefter joins the show for his annual interview where we talk about the past year, what big stories are coming up, Schefty discovers friendship, and breaking News (00:28:08-01:23:26). We finish with Fyre fest of the week and Max got triggered by Juju Smith Schuster (01:23:26-01:46:20).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Adam Schefter on the podcast. Maybe former good friend. Yep, it'll be, uh, let's just say it's a wild ride. It's a wild ride of an interview, great interview with Adam Schefter. We're live from Indy talking Combine, getting ready for the Combine. We did some training today.

We also will do Firefest the week. And don't worry, we did film an extra lottery ball at the end. So maybe today is the day that Hank will get it. I got good vibes. I have, I'm feeling like this is the day. Same. I really do. So I'm excited.

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Today is Friday, March 3rd. And we are live from the Combine. Indianapolis, Indiana. Hank playing flip cup. Max, get us some more water. Yeah, boys, Combine Week. We're here. We're in a magical place, Indianapolis.

I'm happy football is back. Football is officially back. It was a long week and a half kind of. I guess the XFL was around technically. But yeah, football is officially back. I've reached the point where I think I'm over Combine Week. Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe I'm a very old, 28 years old.

Well, I have some thoughts because you go on, but I agree. I was going to say it's a bunch of football guys that flock to the same place, go to the same bars, eat the same shrimp cocktails. Like it's like March of the Penguins. If they were wearing lanyards and trying to bang waitresses. So I agree for a different reason. I just would like to do Combine Week, but with couches.

So I was thinking about it last night. We were at a bar, and I've had the longstanding take. It's not like some novel thing. Bigger guys understand not being able to sit down at a bar is torture. It's no different than getting waterboarded. So I was standing at a bar for about an hour and a half. That's usually my capacity.

And the whole time I was like, this would be sweet if I could sit down. So maybe that's the issue is Combine Week just needs to be in recliners and couches. Everyone's sitting in a big circle, maybe dozing off here and there. That would be nice. You make a good point because I hate networking.

I hate it, but I think I would enjoy networking a lot more if it was like a living room. Sitting down. If it was at a house party. I think we pitched that to John Taffer when he came on the show. Correct. The bar with couches that were at seven different bars

inside the same restaurant. Yeah, we pitched that exact idea because I said I was like, the problem with going to bars is if I can't find a seat, I want to go home. Yeah. No, I agree. I'm sick of standing. I don't like standing.

Standing is the most overrated thing people can do. That's actually they should test players for that at the Combine, who can just stand the longest. Dude, Apple Watch, when it's like, hey, you haven't stood up in a couple hours. Like, shut the fuck up. That's by design. I don't want to stand up.

Mind your own business, you stupid bitch. But yeah, we are in Combine Week. We are doing some, I don't really think we network. We just see a couple of people that we haven't seen in a while. Saw Arthur Smith. Yeah, he looks good. He looks great. Chin, like a Greek god.

We have a couple of interviews coming up next week. We talked to Kevin Stefansky, which was a great interview. So it's always fun to come here because it does feel like the whole football world descends on Indianapolis. And it's a very different vibe than the Super Bowl, where it's flashy, celebrities. Here, it's like, who can eat the most steaks

while they're talking about free agency, wearing the team-issued polo. So it's funny because there was actually one person I was very excited to potentially see. And I still am. And that's Deuce Gruden. I'm just on the hunt for Deuce. I did see him at that Starbucks that one year.

I saw him. I met him, well, not really met him. I was starstruck by him. We got into an elevator together. And then I just froze up. And I was just like looking at him. And then you got off the elevator. I was like, that was awesome.

Deuce Gruden. So I thought that I saw him last night at the bar. And I was nervous. And Che was next to me. And I asked her friend, Steven Che. I was like, is that Deuce Gruden? And Steve was like, do you want me to go up and say, are you Deuce?

My friend over there wants to meet you. He's going to introduce me. Do you like any of us here more than a friend? Yeah, he was going to be like, hey, my friend over there thinks that you're cute. And then my friend would be me. And then I'd just be standing there staring at him. So Steven went up to this guy and was like, hey, are you Deuce?

And the guy was like, no, no, I'm not Deuce. And I was so, the wind was like totally out of myself. He's the one guy that I've been on the hunt for. A foos? Yeah. That's bullshit. Yeah, it was not good. Yeah, it's, and then we did, yeah.

I mean, we basically, you know, you go to a couple of bars. You see, I did see Ciciliano. I think he realizes everything I've said about him. We were actually having a conversation about it after. Because PFT was like, I bet you he knows all the shit you talk about him. And I realized that's one of those guys that like, if I was in a hallway with him one on one,

I'd probably be like, hey, dude, I'm sorry. Like, you don't understand. The reason why I say I want you to get hit by a bus is because Jake Marsh just squirms so much when I say it. Like, it's really nothing personal. It's really just Jake's reaction has elicited this behavior where I just want to wish the worst thing possible. Don't take it personally, but I hope that you die.

Right. But only, no, I hope he dies only when Jake is around to hear me say that. OK. So right now, I don't hope he dies. What if he got hit by a bus in Indianapolis right now? But you could get Jake Marsh on FaceTime. If I was like, FaceTiming him while it was happening?

No, afterwards. Like, if you got to break the news too much, I could be interested in that. Yeah. And then the other, like the big combine news, we're just all waiting for Bryce Young to get measured. Waiting with bated breath. I thought it was today.

It's actually Saturday. He's not getting measured till Saturday. I would assume he's just not going to shit for the next two days. Yeah, he's getting stretched out on a wrap. Somewhere trying to get that extra half inch. Well, he's going to do both. He's going to get tall and he's got to get fat.

You can't get taller. You can't be done. But I do think that there's something to be said for our theory that if you measure to the eyes, that's what's really important. You shouldn't, the forehead is wasted space, as far as a quarterback is concerned. Measure to the man's up.

Maybe he's got high eyes. Maybe he's got high eyes. He also, I don't know what his team is doing. There was a video of him walking into the combine next to a tight end. You need him walking next to Andrew Cisleano or Ian Rapp. Or me. Yeah, just find everyone that you basically

have to Tom Cruise this. Like make the doors really small and make like a miniature hotel room and take videos of him in his hotel room just being Andre the Giant. Pete Prisco. Get Pete Prisco to hang out with him for a while. I am interested to see how much he weighs in. That's going to be a big deal if he comes in under 200 pounds.

Well, the best part is Peter Schrager, a friend of the program, said that he spoke to multiple teams and they all had no issue with his size. So I think it eventually will just not matter. It might matter when he's playing. But in terms of getting drafted, I don't think it will be that much of a bearing. I think he's going to go in the top five no matter what.

So maybe if he is 5'7", 160, I can see that. But still someone would take a first round pick on him. Take a flyer on him. Because he played in the SEC and he was fucking awesome. So yeah, I'm more worried about what his weight's going to be. Because that is an actual factor where you get hit by people. Giants are going to be smashing you into the ground. It would be helpful if you weighed over 200 pounds.

But he did play in the SEC. He did. So when is he going to get measured? Saturday, 10 AM. It's literally hurry up and wait. Yeah, we're just sitting here. I'm just refreshing the feed. When is he going to get measured?

I want to see those measurables. Let's fucking go. It's also fun if you take probably everybody that's working out this week at the combine and you put them on the BMI chart. They're all clinically obese. Yes. We're probably in better shape than most NFL players.

Maybe not the skill positions. But yeah. Yeah, probably not punters. Yeah, I was going to say wide receivers are definitely not obese. 100% not obese. I think if you're like 6 feet tall, 6'1", and you weigh 220 pounds, that might be obese on the BMI chart. Maybe, yeah.

BMI is such a crock of shit. It's also going to be very funny whatever Bryce Young weighs in and his height is at. Everyone's just going to be like, that's bullshit. That's not real. No matter what, I think people actually want, like they are wishing for him to be 5'6". It'd be very funny if he was listed at Alabama as being 6

feet tall. It's so funny how in college media guys, you can just make up whatever you want. You can just write down a number. Nobody will ever check it. He should weigh in at the North Pole. You weigh more at the North Pole than you do at the Equator because of the bulge.

Yes, that's true. That's where he should do his pro day. All right, what else is going on? I mean, we have. Jalen Carter. That was not good. Official statement by part of my take. If you are implicated in leaving the scene of a vehicular,

well, it's not a homicide, just a death. Death, double death. Shouldn't do that. Not good, shouldn't do that, be better. That's our official statement. There's room for growth. Be better, yes. And again, it's another situation

where everyone takes their pause to say, oh my god, this is horrific, and then he'll still go top five. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's a freak. And he released a great note zap. His note zap, I've never seen this before. It started with the word statement, which was nice of him to clarify what it was.

It was all caps. Not good. And then he switched it to a very serious font. Yes. So as far as he put out. It didn't crop. It didn't crop. He didn't crop it.

That's my big issue. Everything else, he tried to format it to make it look as professional as possible while still taking a screenshot of your phone. And it looked like it was taken from a screenshot of a phone that was an Android, maybe, because the dimensions were all off on it. Right.

And it's a very sad story, but it's also the NFL loves these stories where something bad happens before they get drafted. So Godel can literally be like, not my problem. It does make me laugh thinking back about the Laramie Tunsel thing, where he got the video came out of him smoking weed in a gas mask on draft night, like right before the draft started.

And then every team was like, well, we can't be seen drafting this guy. He smokes weed. Well, it was the gas mask. I think if it was just a joint, it would have been a little different. The gas mask is a visual. He did look a little bit like a terrorist,

because he had the mask on, and then he had the Confederate flag behind him. Here's the thing. So it's kind of like the ISIS of the South. And here's the thing. If you're smoking weed out of a gas mask, that wasn't your first time. And the gas mask is five or six steps down the weed ladder,

where it's like you really like to smoke weed. Again, I have no problem with that. But you start getting very creative, like a gravity bomb, gas masks. Those are both coming in the same category, where it's like you got bored with smoking weed, which is almost impossible to do. Yeah, my concern is less the gas mask and more

that he was videotaping himself ripping a bomb out of a gas mask. Oh, it's cool. No, it's kind of cool. No, but not. It's send to your friends? No, it's cool to do, but it's kind of corny behavior. Oh, I don't know.

If you take a video of yourself doing that. No, no, sending that to your friends. If I'm smoking a gas mask, my boys don't know about it. But what kind of friend am I? That's instant giggles on the test sheet. If you smoke a gas mask and don't send it to me, I'll be offended. Yeah, OK.

It's actually way bigger of a loser move to smoke out of a gas mask and just never have proof of it. I don't know about that. Yes, no, dude. If you're alone smoking with a gas mask. Yeah, I'm not out here for clout. That's addiction behavior. I'm not out here for clout.

Yeah, no. Oh, yeah, right. I'm not. A guy who does drugs on camera. Yeah, that's really the only time. It's really, yeah. I'm not here for clout. There have been times when I have smoked out of a gas mask

and didn't record it. Not recently. This is before cell phone videos were invented. The other big story was we had the report cards for all the NFL teams, the NFLPA. Seems like the Ravens are kind of falling apart because they got an F minus in strength and conditioning. And then they had multiple players tweet today being like,

yeah, I never was injured. Came to the Ravens, got injured. Shot Bateman was basically like, stop pointing the finger at us. Like, you guys get us injured all the time. If you look back on the last two years of the Ravens being the most injured team in football, something weird is going on there.

And it's actually vindication for us as stupid fans. Whenever we see a bunch of soft tissue injuries, we're always like, they should fire that trainer. Strength and conditioning is a problem. But I think maybe it is actually a problem with Ravens. And I actually don't, I know you don't want to talk about this because the commanders were the last, but they did not lose in this because the stories

that came out of it were the rats in Jacksonville. And then the big story was the fact that the Cardinals charge for dinner. Yeah, there's that. That's an insane thing. Let's be honest, the big story that came out of it was the commanders getting an F minus, which isn't really a grade.

An F minus doesn't exist. They made up the new- They got straight Fs. They made up- No, they didn't plus in strength stuff. Yeah, or strength stuff. I think that maybe- Way better than the Ravens.

Yeah, they did get an F in treatment of families, which seems like a pretty- Jags did too. Pretty important thing to be above an F in is how you treat families. Yeah, the Jags were an F in that. And it was because players' wives were breastfeeding on the floor of the restrooms in the stadium.

They didn't give them a space. They didn't have a space for that. Well, I just think that an F minus- Well, Hank's okay with that. F minus. No, I'm saying that makes sense why they got an F for that. And the rats.

They had multiple weeks, they said, of rat incubation. So I ran the numbers. I ran the numbers on the- Get a Jag. Yeah, get a Jaguar to patrol. Put a Jaguar in the fucking locker room. I ran the numbers on what the GPA should be.

I took all the commander's grades and put them into a formula. And then I even included F minus as being worth negative 0.5 on the GPA scale. And they ended up with a 0.9. So an F plus is what they should have gotten. F minus doesn't exist. If you get an F minus, that's Goodell saying,

I should drone strike your franchise. We should not exist. But here's the thing, like, everyone expected the commanders to be the lowest part, the lowest rated team. The stories, like the Bengals, off days, don't, you can't even get a banana. That's what they said.

They're like, if you show up, they tell you to come in and train in the off days on, like, Tuesdays in the season. And the cafeteria is completely closed. And if you wanted a banana or a Gatorade, they don't have that. Making you pay for meals is bad. It's really bad.

Rats exist in nature. Some people eat them on the streets of New York, according to a video that I saw. There's a long line to wait for the chargers' showers. Yeah. That sucks. There should not be a wait for a shower if you're a professional franchise.

Like, those are the stories. No, wait, how is that possible? Because they share a stadium with the Rams. No, no, no. The facility is under construction, so they're in a warehouse right now. Their practice facility. Is under construction.

Got a few words. There was a part of the commanders that said they don't have hot water. That's another thing that should probably be important to have as a sports team. But that goes out. That goes out sometimes. Also, cool plunges are back in.

Joe Rogan's taught us about that. Oh, that was. You start your day with a cool plunge, and boom. You're able to kick anyone's ass. That was actually the chargers said that the cool plunge is never cold. It was not cold enough? That would be a plus for me.

That's so brutal. To just be like, all right, go on cold therapy. And they said the hot tub didn't work a lot, so they just have two lukewarm bodies of water in the facility. I just think in F minus, it's rubbing salt in the wound. Yeah. F minus, come on. But that was, I mean, it's cool.

I think this is the first year they did this, where they did a full, it was almost more than half of the players commented on the poll. Totally anonymous. Hopefully teams would be like, oh, shit. Maybe we are getting everyone injured. Right off the Vikings. The Ravens are the real story, because they're

in the middle of talking to little Marj Jackson, who has been injured the last two years, and now players are saying, yeah, their strength. I think there was one guy who said he tore his ACL, and they had him doing single leg strength exercises five months later. And he's like, it still hasn't sat right with me. That shit is real shit.

The free agents definitely should pay attention to it. They talk to each other also about that. The guys are like, yeah, you don't want to go here. They don't care about your health. I think Matthew Judon says, I told my friends on the Ravens that they should fire their strength coach like two years ago. Who is this guy?

We got to fucking find him. He seems kind of awesome, actually. He probably would kick our ass. He's probably like the best. Oh, if we met him, we'd build this guy rules, football guy. I would run through a brick wall for this guy. And that's probably something that he has you do when you're rehabbing from a concussion.

Yeah. All right, other sports? Big story in the NFL, Jerry Richardson passed away, RIP. I am wearing jeans for Jeans Friday in his honor. So he's out. And then another Jerry. He's fully out. Fully out.

Fully out. Very interesting way to talk about someone who just died. He's out. Dead. Jerry Jones has a lawsuit that's just been reinstated against him for grabbing a woman in his box and then forcing her to kiss him. And that got thrown out a while ago.

Now it's back in. So Jerry. I'm going to say that happened. I've seen enough of the judge and be like, wait, Jerry Jones grabbed a woman in his box and tried. Yep, that happened. It allegedly definitely happened. And Jerry, at this point, should just have a sign up.

You know, when you go into a place where they're filming a TV show, it just should say like, by entering this suite, you consent to being grabbed or having an 80-year-old suck on your face for a couple of minutes. That takes legal work. You need alert to set that up. Just have a sign outside of his suite

that just says kissing booth. Yeah, kissing booth. You can't. I mean, that's legally binding. If you go into a kissing booth or maybe just line the entire ceiling with mistletoe. But yeah, there's nothing that they can do about that. I like that.

By entering the premises, you agreed to be softly mulled by a billionaire. Smooched. I do want to shout out Stephen A. Smith. He pretended to take a nap today on first take when they were talking about Aaron Rodgers. I stand with Stephen A. Smith. I'm sick of talking about Aaron Rodgers.

So that's my Aaron Rodgers update. I like that. Dude, stop holding everyone hostage. He really hand it up. Like, he was snoring fully out. He's like, sorry, I don't really care about this. How awesome would it be if just no team wanted Aaron Rodgers next year?

It would be great. It would be great. They should band together. The owners should form a union. I guess that is the NFL. Yeah. All right, other sports. LeBron is pretty much done.

Three weeks. Three weeks will be re-evaluated. He's got a tendon issue in his ankle. So we're down to nine important games for LeBron. Yeah, it's this Laker season is over. Well, what if the Lakers got good without LeBron? They could. Do you think LeBron would hate that?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. He would absolutely hate that. Kevin Durant's back. Looks good. Fully back. Sons are going to be a problem. Circle that until Chris Paul and Kevin Durant get injured

again. They're a problem. They're going to be the best, like, would-a-should-a team if they don't win the title. Like, man, if they didn't get injured. They're going to win, though. They're going to win. They're definitely going to win the title.

This is year for Chris Paul. No, you don't think so, Hank? You don't know, Paul. You're back in first. Yeah. Nice. Congratulations. Thank you.

It was a long, long day. It was the longest day of your life. Oh, there was also something else that came out of Mike McCarthy's press conference. He said that him and Kellen Moore had conflicting opinions on how to run Hank's Cowboys last year, how to run the offense. Kellen Moore wanted to score points,

as many points as possible. And Mike McCarthy said, not always are points good. You need to be able to run the ball. And he even said, run the damn ball. He said, I wanted to run the damn ball. And Kellen Moore wanted to score points in this offense. That's a translation. Mike McCarthy saving his job with Jerry Jones.

Oh, for sure. Because Jerry Jones paid as he go. He had a lot of money and was like, we need to run the ball. Yeah. He said, Mike McCarthy thought the Cowboys' problem was they scored too many points. That's, it could be. Sometimes you score too many points.

He was saying it under the guise of, I wanted to rest my defense a little bit more often. Yeah. But Mike McCarthy, I mean, for being such a, you know he's like a die-hard analytics guy. Yeah, PFF. He spent like, he spent $9.99 a month on his pro football. No, no, no, no.

He, oh dude, he definitely went the $19.99 a month. You went premium? Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. So he's a big, he's a big numbers guy, right? That would be funny though, if he didn't go premium. And he just tried to guess because you know how they like locked the premium, they locked like the grades. And he was like, well, I think this might be the ranking.

Mike McCarthy, he just uses incognito mode. Oh, he's got like three different phones that he can open up. And that's why the Cowboys tail off at the end of the season because he's used all his free articles. Yes, yes, that's exactly what happened. That's probably what happened. But it is funny to hear Mike McCarthy be like, our problem was, Kellen Mort was too focused on scoring points.

Yeah, well, no shit, Mike. He's the offensive coordinator. Yeah, all right. So the other thing I had was a dude's rock moment that I told you about last night, PFT. Illinois Matthew Mayer was out with caffeine poisoning. So he said he drank five monster energy drinks while playing video games on Sunday

after the Ohio State game. And his first day of practice, back of practice was Wednesday. That's just a total dude's rock. That's a long, long time to miss with caffeine. I mean, he just, he just fucking got locked into a game. Like what are you gonna do? He got really hyper. Yeah.

And then when he have like heart palpitations. It is funny. They go to the hospital, get rehydrated. What do you do if you have caffeine poisoning? Because a lot of these like dumb injuries, like the baseball dumb injuries, I'm always like, why would you even admit it, right? But this one you should admit

because I think everyone stands with him. It's like, all right, dude, if you're gaming and you're doing well and you gotta stay up, try rock star energy. You should refer to it as a heated gaming moment. I think that, isn't that what Mars Leonard said about this? About his little snafu. Who I think is back.

Mars Leonard kinda back, yeah. Where is he? He signed a 10 day, maybe with a box. Oh, I was gonna say jazz would have been good. Yeah, oh, they would have loved him. Yeah, that would have been a good place. Maybe with the box. Mars Leonard, also Illinois.

Team up with the box. Team up with the Kyrie. Scumbags. Yeah. All right, anything else that we missed? Let's see. No, that's it. We literally covered everything in sports.

Everything in sports. Oh, the tournament week is coming and it's already happening. Shout out. This is also, Peter Schreger, I think, reported this. Iowa State pass rusher, Will McDonald, the fourth, I think that's how Roman numerals work, IV, came down with a fever close to 104 degrees

on Tuesday evening. He's insisting on working out today, despite still being sick and losing weight over the past 40 hours. That's a very high fever. But also, Iowa State pass rusher insists on practicing through fever. I'm sold.

I've seen everything I need to see. High motor guy. That's all, I mean, the Bears' entire draft strategy is they have a hotel suite with ping pong, darts, and pool, and they're just testing everyone's competitiveness. And putt putt. Yeah.

They have putt putt. I would prefer a guy that's not great at putt putt. But that's actually one of those sneaky ones where it's like, if this guy's lights out at putt putt, kind of a creep. Yeah, but just compete. Just see how they compete, compete, compete, compete. It does sound like small stream stadium.

Yeah, it does. That'd be funny if we actually, if we were GMs of a team, and we were drafting players to have them play Jenga versus Frank, the tank, would be the ultimate test of their mental toughness. Yeah, if you can stay in time, if you can stay focused when that's happening. The war of 54.

Yeah, I would pay good money to see that actually. Yes, yes, that would be incredible. And have Frank just come up with songs for him. Yeah. I would do the thing where it's like I would, the lines that don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep, I would actually have that, I would have the sheep.

Yes. In my interview room and see if they paid attention to it. Yes, yes. Absolutely. All right, let's get to Chefty. It was a wild ride. Let's just say that it was a wild ride. Adam Chefs was brought to you by our friends

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slash Barstool Sports. Now, call 855-505-DAVE or visit omega-tax-credits.com slash Barstool Sports. Now, okay, here he is, Adam Chefs. Ooh. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is a annual tradition. We're in Indianapolis for the NFL Combine,

and we always have Adam Schefter on the show. Schefti, where the fuck is the des tape? Let's just start. Let's just get right back into it. Where's the des? We'll do this every year for the next 25 years, and I'll be like, give me the des tape, and you'll be like, well, guess what?

I don't have it. It's still hasn't surfaced. Okay, all right. It's still hasn't surfaced. That's so bad. Excellent use of the passive voice there. Why has it not surfaced here? You have it in one of those two phones.

It's sort of like one of these tapes that's like missing underwater at sea in a one day surface. Like, I was just thinking that I met Sam Ponder's mom at the Super Bowl. She was on the set the last day. She's an archeologist. So she'll find it for us.

Well, she was telling me that they uncovered something in Israel, in Israel, where she spent six months of the year, some stones and rocks from prehistoric times that prove that certain people, she may have. Yeah. That's probably how she found the 2013 episode of Barstool Pickle. That's exactly what happened.

God damn it. Now, let me also say this. What's also funny is I have my own podcast. Yes. I don't think I've ever been stopped by anybody to this day, having that podcast for five years who said to me, hey, Adam, I really like your podcast. But I haven't stopped innumerable times

by people who say, hey, I love you on PMT. I love that. How does that happen? That's my favorite thing that we hear, because that's the best. That's just so true. We have you trapped now. That's the thing. Our fans are best publicity, because when they do that

and they reaffirm to people, it's like, yeah, that was fun. Those guys are fun. I've never had anybody stop me and say, really enjoy your podcast. Well, Shay will do that. Never once. Shay will do that, yes. But how do we do it?

We're going to get into everything. But give us a quick state of the league. What's the buzz? What's going on in Indy? Well, everything is being held up right now by the quarterback in Green Bay. But he's out of the darkness. Once that happens, he's the first quarterback domino.

Then all the other quarterback dominoes begin to fall. We're waiting on Rodgers. We're waiting on Derek Carr, who's here in Indy himself. Lamar Jackson. We got a bunch of quarterbacks, right? Nathan Peterman. Nathan Peterman, Blake Bortles. The Heinicke.

Heinicke. Yeah, Bortles retired. Did you report that? Oh, no, that was us. We broke that. We broke that. You guys are the Blake Bortles whispers. You guys are the ones that are on that.

I'm not going to try to compete in an area that I have no luck, no shot of competing in. As far as Aaron Rodgers goes, I remember way, way back in the day, old school journalism, Dan Rather went on the air, and he took heroin on the air to describe what it's like because of this new epidemic. Did Dan Rather do that? He did heroin on the air.

Yeah, on the radio. He had a sheriff that locked him in a dark room, administered to it, and he described the effects on the air. In order to get in Aaron Rodgers' brain, would you ever drink ayahuasca tea and then try to predict what he was going to do? Well, I would say this. I know people were discussing that darkness retreat.

I would love to go on a darkness retreat. So we said. Like, honestly, you're the father of two kids. Yeah. Right, you got a third of them away. It would be great. How many kids do you have, PFT? Zero, except my fictional son, Chris.

He loves to live tour. Well, there you go. OK, well, anyway, you would know it would be like to escape Chris. The idea of. He's a piece of shit. The idea of. What an asshole. The idea of going into darkness for four days.

Yes. That's what I said. You would get stressed out, though. You would. Yeah, imagine. Imagine. Because there's an understanding. You're going in for four days.

You're going in for four days, and it's like no phones. Worst four days for you to go in? Well. On the calendar year. It would be the draft. Free agency. Free agency. Without question.

No question. Yeah. You know, a couple of years ago, a few years ago, I was invited to the Masters for the first time. And my friends invited me down. I went down there. And I was like, it was right towards the end of the pandemic. I hadn't traveled though.

It was the first trip. Fly down there. And it was really hard to leave your family at that time. Hard thing to do. Leave work behind. So I'm going to go to the course. So I get great. Leave your phones at that.

I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? Yeah, you were like to see Donnie Brasco when he wouldn't take his boots off. Wait, wait, wait. He said, we weren't going to tell you that in advance, because we knew that that would make you not make this trip. So you would leave your phone for three days at the Masters. Literally nothing.

No access. And when that first happens, what you find is that you're sticking your hand in your pocket. It's like someone trying to quit cigarettes, I would imagine. But you get the shakes. Like you're reaching into your pocket. The phantom vibrations on your leg. Do you think your phone is going off,

but you don't even have your phone on you? Exactly. It was a very weird sensation. So but to go into darkness for four days, no phones. Yeah, you do it. I like it. So what's the latest, though? It feels like Aaron Rodgers is not

going to be on the Packers next year. Is that a fair assessment? You know, here's the thing. This has been going on now for three years. And I would have thought two years ago that he wasn't going to be on the Packers that year. And the two sides circled back, and all of a sudden he shows up at training camp.

But then last year, there really wasn't a lot of talk about it. They get the contract extension done. He stays. And then this year, there seems to be more and more smoke to the fire. And it's remarkably similar how much his case is like Brett Farrer's case, same age, like same years. And it's almost like history repeating itself.

He ultimately has to be the one that's going to break up with them. And I think there are people around the league who believe that the Packers are perfectly fine with that. Here's the thing. You got two quarterbacks there. So if Rodgers says, I want to come back, guess what? Now we're going to spring a leak on Jordan Love.

Like is Jordan Love going to want to be there? So somebody doesn't fit in Green Bay. We're just waiting for the man to emerge from the darkness to tell us which quarter right that's going to be. You don't think that there's a world where the Packers tell Aaron Rodgers, like straight up, it's probably best if we split ways. They're doing all the waiting.

And Aaron's doing all the deciding. But they could do that. But why wouldn't they have done it already? They seem to be waiting. It almost is, to me, it's like both sides are passive aggressive about this. Both sides seem to want to break up. And nobody's willing to be the one to break up.

And I remember a couple of years ago, it felt to me. It just felt to me like he was the one that wanted out. But he didn't want to say I want out because he didn't want to be the one that was being blamed for ending that relationship. He didn't want to be Brett Farve. Because he came into the league behind Brett Farve. He saw what Brett was doing.

He's like, I'm never going to be this ass. It's like when you grow up saying, I'm not going to be like my dad. It's cats in the cradle. Yeah. And then some day. When he played that after I had my son. This was the meanest thing that's anyone ever saw.

One day you start mispronouncing words like your dad did. You start doing things. He's doing stuff like Brett Farve did. So now he's going, or is this your way of saying he's going to go to the Jets? Well, to me, that is the one that makes the most sense by far. If he is going to be traded, that's the place it would be. Give us an off the radar one that people aren't thinking about.

With Rogers? Yes. Because we've heard Jets. I think some people float around. Maybe Raiders. I think the Panthers have checked in. OK, that would be interesting. They would be a good team.

But I don't think the Packers want to send him in the NFC. So now we're back to the AFC. But wouldn't they want to send him in the NFC? Because he's not good in the NFC playoffs. So it's actually a bonus. Like, hey, if we play him in the NFC championship, we're going to win.

That would be one way of looking at it. But when you think about the NFC South, for one moment, all these teams that are looking to get a new quarterback, if somebody trades up for one, somebody signs one, somebody trades for whatever it is, there's a real opportunity there. We've got Kyle Trask in Tampa, Desmond Ritter in Atlanta. Aren't they giving Kyle Trask free reign

to interview new coaches right now? They wanted his input when they hired Dave Canalis, the Alfred Scorner. Yeah, Kyle Trask's blessing on that. So Stephen Chays in the room right now. And when you said the words NFC South, I'm not kidding. He was in the middle of a bite, and he froze his hands and wouldn't move until he froze his hands.

Here's the thing. He could look forward to Kyle Trask being his quarterback. Yeah, he already has. He's already talked himself into it. And then the Saints going to run back. Is Jameis on? He's under contract right now. There's a cap savings if they move on there.

They've checked in with Derek Carr. Obviously, they had enough interest there that they brought him into New Orleans, have met with him at the combine. So clearly, they're looking to add to the position. Carolina, we don't know who's playing there. So literally, there is a quarterback question with every team in that to accept Tampa,

where we know Kyle Trask. And you're saying once Aaron Rodgers makes the decision, then we'll see all these other guys. Now, Derek Carr could always say, you know what? I'm not waiting for Aaron Rodgers anymore. But I think that Aaron Rodgers is the first QB Domino. I think once he decides, well, now look, this could blow up, right?

By the time you run this podcast. Yeah. That would be so funny if you were still wrong. Yeah, you could look like a total fool. Yeah, you would look like a fool. It wouldn't be the first time. You'd actually run it, yeah. Congrats on being the first on Tom Brady's retirement.

Yeah, by about exactly one year. You nailed it. I have a theory. Yeah, I have a theory about that. You had it again this year, but you didn't want to become the ire of all this hate. You know, it's funny. There was a night where we were driving back

from our first encounter with Mr. Che over there in Tampa. It was in December. We were going back to the hotel. I was with Larry Fitzgerald. We walk into the lobby of the hotel there, where the Brady's, the parents, always stayed. And Larry knows the parents very well. And so they come over and they say, this is Adam Schafter.

Hey, Mr. Brady, how you doing? So we had the chance to talk then. There was no mention about anything at the moment. You probably don't like you. You know what? He was very pleasant and enjoyable to talk to. He did not bring it up. But did you have it this year?

You had it this year. I think you had it. No. And you were like, I'm not going to do this again. No, I did not. We're going to let this guy retire on his own terms and not try to cock the entire. But clearly, he wanted to do it his way this year,

because it happened so close. I'm driving my daughter to school. Tom Brady just retired again one year. Wow, that was quick, again. He probably had that timed out. Knowing him, he's like, all right, Well, and the segue, the funny part is we go back to Tampa.

We go back to Tampa for the playoff game. And I'm going back with Susie Culburn. We get to the elevator after the game. And who gets into the elevator that night? Tom Brady's parents. Again, second time, same hotel, almost like the same schedule. They're following you. Yeah, that's how they know when you're taking your daughter

to school. I think it's the other way around. I think Brady's parents were like, Shepter's on to you again. Yeah, well, the great part was he's showing up in all these places on us. We said, sorry about the game. He said, yeah, and Mr. Brady said, yeah, well,

it was a hell of a way to end. If that's the way it ends, he caught himself right away. And I said, don't worry, Mr. Brady. We're going to leave you alone this year. We don't want anything. Now, do you count the first retirement of Tom Brady? That's a mark on your record, because he didn't fully retire. I got a lot of marks.

Yeah, but that one, we count that against you, right? If we're doing a full tally, because I think that will just be your obituary someday, hopefully a long time from now. It'll just be the ones you got right and ones you got wrong. I would prefer that you give the mark to Jeff Darlington, but that's just OK. Yeah, how does that work when you're doing a co-scoop with somebody like that?

And it's like, per Jeff Darlington and me, how do you guys both put out a scoop at the same time? Well, in that particular case last year. Oh, oh. Go ahead, go for it. What is it? Hold on a second. No, he's going to prank us.

And now some more jacks for the commanders. He's pranking us. He's pranking us. Let me see it. Hold on. Now this is from Dan Snyder saying I just. No one's allowed to tweet, right? No one's allowed to tweet.

Yeah, Dan Snyder just said, hey, thank you so much for sending us that first trap. There's no way. It's good to go. Hold on, hold on, hold on. There's no fucking way this is real. You're setting me up. We're not going to run this.

No one's allowed to tweet. What does it say? What does it say? This is a setup. This will be awesome. This is a setup. I'm being set up. I said just a little.

Hey, are you in on this? It's something about Lamar Jackson. We don't say who sent it. Well, I'm not going to say who sent it. We saw the person, right? You saw the person? I'm a psychic. Just a heads up.

Just a little heads up this deal. We could say now, right? Yeah, let's go out Friday. OK. And if you tell us, we'll edit it out. OK. But no tweeting, right? No tweeting, no tweeting.

We know everyone in this room. We're in lockdown. Stephen's showing his hands. We don't need to see your hands, Stephen. Just a little heads up. This deal with Washington Lamar has started to pick up. With what they're offering, it's now looking like it'll get agreed to tonight.

Someone here will keep it posted when it's about to be finalized. We want it to be ready. Talk soon. Oh, man. This is not real. This is not real. You're setting us up.

You're setting us up. We set you up with Colin Kaepernick when you first came on our show. You're setting us up. This is a lie. You fucked me on Carson Wentz last year. And I got you on call. I got you on call.

Yeah, but you fucked me. You gave me Carson Wentz. I contracted Carson Wentz from you. Ryan Paul saying Justin Peele just betrayed me. Wait, what do you want to respond? Hold on. What should we respond? Like, I'm with the PMT guys who don't believe this.

Say, yeah. Say, yeah. PMT broke this three months ago out of wishful thinking. I don't think he's replying any of that. This isn't real. This isn't real. I mean, it would be an all-time moment if it is real. It's not real.

Because he said, hey, PMT, let me be the first to congratulate you on the whole act. Last year, with the PMT guys, they don't believe it. Here we go. Ready? Yeah. Wait, I would like to be the first to congratulate you. You would not send that to him if you would not

want him to know that we knew. OK, I'm seeing there's nothing I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking. This is not him. This is a setup.

Got bubbles. I got bubbles. I got bubbles. What bullshitting. Oh, shit, in Rappaport just tweeted about that. Hold on. Bubbles. Bubbles.

Bubbles. PMT, I was the first to congratulate you. It's not real. I wanted to on the record. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. And Hank, you were so wrong.

It's not real. You were so wrong, Hank. It's not real. There's a lot of bubbles. About Lamar going to Washington. Have you seen the Photoshop's that we've done? Did that have anything to do with it? OK, let's see.

Not sure if we're going to see anything like this. All right, we probably shouldn't say all this. OK, all right, it looks. That doesn't look like it could be fake. Oh, no. He said, who about the PMT guys? Oh, shit. Did we have his number?

Shifty. Be honest with me. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Is that real? Oh, I didn't get to. Because this exact scenario is coming down. My fan fiction that I wrote. Damn.

Did I tell you about Carson Wentz last year? Yes. You did, and your piece of shit for it, you ruined my year. And you want to read that? I mean, you read that. This is not real. No, we see it. You know, I now.

It's not real. All right, OK. So what are you going to do? What do you do with this information? Because if this breaks before the podcast comes out, it'll be an all-time podcast one. So tell us what the next step is. Well, hopefully.

But what is your next step? Do you then go source it somewhere else? Or you just let it rip. I would let it rip. When I get done with the podcast, I will call this gentleman. Do you want to take a break? No. So this is why.

Because he says it's coming on tonight. Here's why it's not real. Because you would be on Twitter right now. No, because it's not coming on. I can't say anything right now. He was getting a heads up. He said just a heads up. Adam, do you swear to God?

I swear to you. Look. Oh, you didn't swear to God. Swear to what does swear to God mean? Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to swear to God. Swear to God.

You're not swear to God. You want to let's read the second text. That really hurt, though. The second text. Hold on. I'm about to pee. He says, not sure I've seen anything like this. As it heated up, Dan Snyder jumped in to take it

to the finish line by adding another first round pick and fully guaranteeing six years. I mean, I would love that. He has to be viewing this as his last move in Washington before he sells. That's how it looks to me. We'll be back in touch soon. Please keep it quiet for now until this is all done.

If this is a prank, this is the meanest thing that you have made a very powerful enemy. Wow. You know what I'm going to do? If this is a prank, I'm bringing back my deck dog, Leroy. And he's going to beat you to every scoop possible. I've been out of the scoop game for a while. I have five dogs, and they have Leroy Envy.

Yeah, I bet they do, because Leroy is a great boy. Listen. But this is mean. This is mean, Adam. This is podcasting history, though. If this ends up happening, Chefty, we owe you what? I mean, you brought the goods there. Literally unfolding as we're sitting here.

Yeah. OK. Holy shit. Now I'm just happy, but I'm also sad, because I know that this is all fake. Yeah. Like, I'm 100% sure this is fake, but I'm still ecstatic about just imagining it happening.

Yeah. OK, all right. Let's do a palate cleanser. Have you stood next to Bryce Young yet? How tall is he? No. We got a weird reset. How tall is he, for real?

We're sitting six foot, right? Yeah, he's not sitting. Have you stood next to him? No. McShay said he's five, 10 and a half, and that he'd be scared to death of drafting him. But listen, if we could get used to him next to him. Well, I heard McShay say that he was like a smallish Patrick

Mahomes. Yeah, Minnie Mahomes. Minnie Mahomes, right? And like the Steph Curry of the NFL. Yeah, because he played point card as a kid. Steph Curry is also like 6'3", which is something that people forget about. But he was much shorter than everybody else in the league

at the time. True, true. So is he going to, what's he going to measure in at? My guess is 5'11". OK. Get a couple of nutritious. He's hired a nutritionist to put on extra weight. So maybe you come in 195, 200.

You really don't need a nutritionist for that. You can hire us. Yes, there's even donuts, right? Yeah, pretty much. It's not that hard. How you with big can on Saturday mornings? There's just 10 pounds. Stay on your couch, watch college basketball eat donuts.

I will be 15 pounds. I want to jump back to maybe the best quarterback in the league. We briefly, we glossed over him. James Winston. We love James. Dude, congrats on Laura. Stop it. Just because he has that fucking huge BFD.

Just because Stevens in the room doesn't mean everyone catches his gullibility. BFD, you and I are now lockstep. When people say that our quarterbacks are running backs, we've got to fucking just, we're like the Avengers. All right, yeah, I guess I'm happy about, but it's not real. Yeah, we just fucking go out. We just Facebook people who say they're running backs.

How happy will you be when that deal's finalized? I will come. Yeah. No, seriously, I'm going to ejaculate. It's not going to be sexual or anything. It's just my body's. But they threw in an extra one and they're guaranteeing six years now.

Well, so this is what makes me so suspicious, is because the way that you're presenting this right now is exactly how I laid it out in my fan fiction. That Snyder is selling the team, he would have no problem fucking over the next owner of the Washington commanders, while also giving a fully guaranteed contract to fuck over every other owner in the NFL.

And at the same time, having it be his last legacy, here's Lamar Jackson. But you're good with it. If it happens, I'm very good with it. How could you not be good with it? It's Lamar Jackson. So you envision the future and manifested it to happen. Kids use drugs occasionally, expand your brains.

Now, here's the thing. We have on the table either an all-time moment of breaking news, even though it will already be broken by the time this comes out, or the greatest prank that has ever been pulled by a guy who I didn't think had it in him. And if that is the case, my hat's off to you, sir. I've decided for the rest of this interview to believe you, just because it's way more fun living

in that world. My congratulations. Yeah, thank you. It's I'm going to believe it because I want to believe it. Yeah, it's huge. That explains a lot about the world. James Winston, though. So he's one of our favorite quarterbacks.

What the hell happened last year? Our theory was that he got injured early on, and then the team somehow mismanaged his injury. They were afraid to put him back in as the season progressed, because of something that was going on behind the scenes. Why did they stay with Andy Dalton? Why not James last year? It's not going to be the answer to you.

I think they liked Andy Dalton. I think Andy Dalton is somebody that goes where he does, and people kind of like the guy. He's a nice guy. Really nice guy. I think he's a better quarterback than people realize. I kind of like Andy Dalton as a quarterback. I do, too.

He could quarterback my team. Well, he's a nice guy. Do you like him in Chicago? He's a nice guy. I think we've said enough. See, that year, he went to Chicago. He should have gone to San Francisco. San Francisco was interested at that time.

That would have been a good move. And you would have seen that he was a better quarterback than people realize. So I just think that they started rolling with Dalton. They kind of liked it. Never went back to you guy, James. OK. I don't like that, though, because James, the league

is more exciting when James went back playing quarterback. He's fun. Yeah. He's fun. Let's talk about a very important subject, sodgate. Isn't that amazing? I mean, you agree with me. As Meena Kimes dubbed it, turfwars, like George

Tomah calling out the NFL. He threw everyone onto the bus, which makes me think he's even more responsible for what happened. I mean, that field, that was not, we should replay the Super Bowl. You know, it was amazing. I think Philadelphia agrees. Yes.

Philadelphia agrees. And I agree, too. I have no dog in this one. You are kind of running PR for him, though. You're like, for the sodfather. You let him get his explanation out that they over what. You're doing propaganda for his little grass field that he put out there.

All I did was I posted to the article that ESPN posted with the guy that wrote it. That's all I did. And yet. Sounds like Kyrie's excuse. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, what was amazing to me is on Super Bowl Sunday,

I'm watching the game with a few of my ESPN colleagues who played the game and know a lot more about it than I do. They picked up on the field within moments. They're all over the field. Randy Moss, Teddy Brusky, Matt Hasselbeck. They're like, this field is horrendous. What's the deal? And the regular groundskeeper for the Cardinals,

his last name is Levy. OK. Good. Kind of name there. The Guardia is one of the best sod groundskeepers that there is in the league. And somehow, George Tomagalvaldin, now the field was over-watered.

Over-watered, yeah. And I think, I think PFT's theory was exactly right. What? Nick Siriani's tears contributed to this. Oh, that's true. He was leaking on the field before the game. He wet him up. Can't cry that much on the field.

And I expect that there's going to be no effect. Does the NFL see that as an issue, or are they just like, nah, I was good enough? Well, I can tell you this much. That grass, they grow outside the stadium and they bring it in. Las Vegas also does it that way. Las Vegas is the side of the Super Bowl next year.

I guarantee you that this is not going to be repeated next year. And they're going to make sure that that grass is not over-watered, that no-head coaches are allowed to cry. The national anthem before is going to be a memo passed. They may have voted on that at the owner's meetings this year. Just have a terrible national anthem. Have Fergie come out. Yeah, something that's upbeat and not as patriotic

and as emotional as the version this year. And no crying. Yeah. No crying. It was a great week for the Super Bowl. I heard you had a fantastic week leading up to the game. Let me tell you something. This is an unbelievable story.

So we finished, I finished, doing the 6 o'clock sports center one night. I never, never go out. Super week. My wife has never seen me drunk to this day. She's a little annoyed by the whole thing. So I get a text right after the 6 o'clock sports center from PFT's friend Diana and Jeff Drawington.

They're at a bar that's like two storefronts down from the set. They said, come on by here. I'm like, OK. So we go there. One of my college buddies came by. Four of us were sitting around there for two hours. Two hours that you would never expect to have totally unplanned, totally spontaneous.

We're in Old Town. It's called friendship. Yep. OK. I don't know what that is. What a novel concept to break out of my little shell into this world that's known as friendship. Wow.

You go to a bar and have fun. I didn't know that this thing happens in life. Like, to me, it's all darkness, like our Rogers. But there was light. We had the upstairs. We're drinking. Did you guys laugh? We had a great time.

But here's the great part. Here's the great part. So afterwards, we're going to go to my favorite, Houston's. I love Houston's. And there's a lot of traffic. Can't get Ubers. So they had these golf cart rides

that you could take wherever you want. Three rows. Jeff Darlington gets in the back row. Me and Diana Rossini get in the middle row. And the driver gets in the front row. We start driving down the main street out of Old Town. And this woman in a truck pulls up next to our golf cart. And she points at Jeff Darlington.

And she says, you. They said, me? He said, yeah. 4803211968. What? And she said, that's my number. Why don't you come back with me tonight? Jeff Darlington.

Jeff's like, I'm married. And she's like, that's your loss. She turns and points to our row to Diana. And says, you. 4803211968. And Diana got embarrassed, turns around. I'm married. No, no, no, no.

No, thank you, ma'am. I'm not interested. She rolls up her window and says, you're lost and drives up. Oh, no. I'm saying that. How do you think I felt that everybody in that golf cart, except me, got propositioned? Yeah, that's.

Yeah. So it was a great night while we were out drinking at the bar. And then I'm going to tell you. You can make it up to you. I mean, Jeff. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. I might live stream it, actually. Jeff is a handsome guy.

Diana's a beautiful woman. The woman didn't give two crabs. We'll work our way up there. That's how I know that I'm past my prime. Well, it's night one. You go out and you learn how to have drinks socially with people. Then night two. We'll work on the one night stand later.

Yeah. My wife will like that. She'll appreciate that. But Jeff and Diana both got propositioned and hit on. That's an amazing story. And I didn't. And that's the way it goes. You're never going to go out with friends again.

That's how it ends up. You're like, this is why I don't go outside. You go with friends that make you feel good, right? They made me feel bad. Yeah. Bad about myself. Yeah. All right.

So yes, it was a very fun shoot. And I look forward to your live stream later. Yeah, that's awesome. Your live stream, literally. Yeah. If you build it, I will come. Can we talk about the number one pick real quick? Absolutely.

So I have a couple of questions. One is your tweet that was like announcing the bears are officially OK to trade this. That was a scheduled tweet, wasn't it? It happened exactly at 7 AM. No. You scheduled that the night before. No, because I posted something right before that, Jalen Carter,

before he had trouble. No, I've never scheduled the two in my life. Ever? I don't even know how to do it. OK. Don't even know how to do it. OK. Truly.

All right. Well, you should let us schedule the Lamar Jackson news for later tonight. We're going to have to start right. As soon as this ends, we are writing up. OK, all right. Are we going on it? Tell me.

Closing in on finalizing it, the other thing to Washington. I want you to tell me, when are you going to be able to break this? You see the text. Could you imagine? This is like the plot to speed in NFL circles. We get Adam Shepter's law. It says, it's now looking like it'll get agreed to tonight.

OK. Agree to. It can't process it. I've got to put a future in on the commanders. No, you can't do that. That's illegal. OK. It's now looking like it'll get agreed to tonight.

Keep you posted when it's about to be finalized. I just want you to be ready. Yeah, I won't put a future in because I don't want you to feel like we're using you for your information. Hank, if you want to log on to the varsity report book, that would be inside information. Maybe put it inside our training.

Maybe inside our training, exactly. Maybe a dime. Listen, if this is real, you should let us log into your Twitter account and schedule a tweet at 7 PM. And it's like, he has to get the news. But I know. I don't know what time it's going to be.

Before the tweet goes off. Yeah, you know what would be awesome is if this whole thing was a ruse, and we scheduled that tweet, and then you had to pull strings behind the scenes to make it actually happen, to be right. Have you ever influenced a trade? Influenced a trade. Yeah, have you ever?

You know, you're always hearing all these things, so I don't know how I would have influenced one. Yeah, you don't ever pull the parent trap thing where you call up the Jets, and you're like, hey, I hear Aaron Rodgers really likes you. Call up Aaron Rodgers. Hey, I hear the Jets really like you, that sort of thing. Matchmaker?

We're sure of the same thing. Aaron has to return my calls. Yeah, so he called you out. What did you think about that? He called you out. Big time. He's like, Shepard doesn't know shit about me. I know.

So that's just how it goes? It's fine. OK. It is what it is. I mean, he's a bad guy, so it's fine. Sorry, it's the number one pick. What are the bears going to get for it? Well, you know what the great part is?

You could trade if you wanted maybe to two, and then go from two to four, and four to six. But I think you want to be in the range where you are assured of getting either, Will Anderson. And I would have said Jalen Carter. And I still think Jalen Carter. But let's see what happens legally now with this pending situation, tragic situation that

killed two people in Georgia on January 15th. So you want to leave yourself in a position if you're the bears to somehow come away with one of those blue chip players, if you can, and still get a bevy of drought. So what do you think they get if they go one to four? Do they get first-rounder next year, second-rounder this year? First of all, the Niners went from 12 to three

and gave up three ones. So to go from one to four, it's a minimum of two ones. And then some, and then some, it's a lot. This is an unbelievable windfall for them that the Houston Texans allowed Davis Mills and Brandon Cooks to play on that. Brandon Cooks had over 100 yards of receptions. What do you do?

And I know Lovie Smith, see the players, they're always going to play to win because they're trying to prove themselves in this contract, always. But I mean, somebody just stepped in and said, what are we doing here? Like, we're going to sit this guy. We're going to sit that guy. I know you're going to try to win,

and I wish you the best, but we're not going to try to win. It was the best day of my year. Oh my god. It was unbelievable to watch that. That fourth down completion, was it like fourth in 11? The mid-Mexico Bowl. It was incredible. He had a bowl for like eight hours

and he'd 14 hot dogs because of that. So it was great. You know what reminded me of the Jets going into Los Angeles a couple of years ago when they hadn't won a game yet? Yes. They were in the number one spot to be able to take Trevor Lawrence. They beat the Rams and fell out of the number one spot.

They won two games down the stretch. They won two games down the stretch, but that was the one that got it out of their rolling. And then Jacksonville jumped them. But the Jets will always have that big win in a way to look back on as Trevor Lawrence throws you. Yeah, the sliding doors are insane. So sliding doors, I mean, it's nuts to think about.

How about how about the Philadelphia Eagles last year tried to sign Alan Robinson during free agency? They thought they had a deal done. It fell apart. He goes to Los Angeles and they're stuck trading for AJ Brown. Pretty good. And Alan Robinson is in LA.

And I think the Rams feel about having Alan Robinson under contract now. $15 million guaranteed this year. Is Justin Fields definitely going to be the Bears starter next year? I expect him to be the starter. I don't know why that would be different. Well, I threw out the theory, and I don't want this to happen.

But could potentially, is there any smoke around the Bears potentially trading both the one and Justin Fields and getting all the draft picks? Well, I would argue the other way. If you're the Bears, you just stay in your spot and take a quarterback. But what if you don't like any of these guys? Bryce Young is 5' 9".

But quarterbacks are the most valuable commodities in all of sports. And do you remember? I think it was Jimmy Johnson. They had Troy Aikman, and they used their first pick in the supplemental draft on the Miami quarterbacks, Steve Walsh. And then eventually, they traded to Steve Walsh,

I believe, to Minnesota. And so quarterbacks are something that are currency. So while we're talking about trading that pick for multiple ones and other draft goodies, you could take a quarterback. And if he is really good, you could look at both quarterbacks and trade one of the quarterbacks for a lot also.

It's just another way of, do I think that's gonna happen? No. No, I want Justin Fields to be the Bears quarterback. I think he will be the quarterback. I just don't know, like I think the Bears should keep everything open to try to maximize all of this. Because it is a once in a lifetime situation to have the number one pick and also think you have

your franchise quarterback at the same time. You would hope and you would think that they will never be in this position ever again. No, they probably will. Probably will next year. You hope not. Are the Bears gonna move to Arlington Heights? That sounds like it.

Definitely have. Okay, definitely. Are you gonna move to Arlington Heights? I will not, but listen, if they wanna build us a fun factory out there, we'll go do stuff out there. They should do that when they're building the stadium. I don't think the Bears would do that for us. But it will happen, right?

Like it's gonna happen. Because I'm thinking it's- I'm expected to. Okay, all right, good. Thank you. And if the quarterback- You will have to. Yes.

Dude, a new stadium is like everything. They play in a fucking rinky thing. So it's beautiful by the lake, but it's not a good facility. It's a beautiful state. Like it used to- Beautiful by the lake. Oh yeah, yeah. The stadium's kind of weird again.

No, it's the smallest stadium in the NFL. The best part about the social field is the overhead shots from the blimp. When they show like- Right on your couch. Here's where it's being played. It looks beautiful right here. And you see Lincoln Park.

It's hard to get in. It's hard to get out. Is that Lincoln Park or Washington Park? No, there's Grant Park right here. Grant Park, Grant Park, Grant Park. Yeah. And the old stadium that they played in, that was beautiful looking.

Which one? Oh yeah, before they renovated it. Yeah, they basically put a spaceship on top of Soldier Field. That's exactly right. Soldier Field in its initial construct. I thought it was kind of, looked like a Roman Coliseum kind of thing.

But it's time to modernize. It's like you can't have the smallest stadium in the NFL, especially if this team gets sold at some point. Remember, I remember being in graduate school and going to games at Soldier Field, seeing Barry Sanders trample over the base. Wait, where's you go to graduate school? Northwestern.

You know, they lost their accreditation. Yes, yeah. So no longer an actual journalism program. Well, it's the way it goes, it happens. We're gonna get back to Adam Schefter in a second, but before we do, he's brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. Football season is officially over,

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Head over to Chevy.com, learn more. Silverado is as strong and dependable as the people who drive them. For JD Power 2022 US Award information, visit JDPower.com slash awards. And now back to Adam Schefter. Who would you say is more influential on the Northwestern community?

You or Darren Ravel? Darren Ravel. Yeah, to a judgment. All right, so speaking of college, your coach is gonna just keep doing this every year, huh? Jim Harbaugh. Look, I think people will approach him, but I think after a while,

he'll always be a desirable guy because he's a great coach. But I think at some point NFL teams say, people went there and they don't, and they just move on to the next guy. That's my guess. So I think for the benefit of the Michigan football player, I think he's gonna be a Michigan footballer.

I think he's shown that he loves the school, loves the players. Even this year, ultimately he couldn't pull himself away from it. And there were people who thought he might. It just didn't happen. And if he didn't do it last year in Minnesota, he didn't do it this year in Denver,

why is he gonna do it next year for Team X? Right. And is that team next year gonna be more or less likely after these two years to go after him? Yeah. Now if he wins an national championship, he's gonna be really hot. He's a great coach and he'll always be attractive.

But I think the more of these that happen. The more time that goes by, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. He half-assed the whole flirting with the NFL process this year. I think he likes having the leverage. He likes getting more money. But he did what, like a Zoom interview for the Broncos. Yeah, admittedly.

Yeah, so did he do one in person as well? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was all done like remotely. That was close. So the Broncos end up going with Sean Payton. Sean Payton's gonna come in and fix Russell Wilson. Is Russell Wilson fixable?

I think Sean Payton thinks he is. You know, here's the thing. These two guys have really liked and respected each other for a while. And they've wanted to be like, Sean Payton was the guy. No matter how many other candidates Denver went through, that Russell Wilson was praying for. Right.

That was the guy he wanted. It would have been the guy that he would have hand-picked at the beginning of the process. And Sean Payton has always liked and respected Russell Wilson's game. Look, here's the deal. Russell's got a lot riding on the year, right? So if anybody's gonna get it out of him,

it's gonna be Sean Payton. And if Sean Payton can do it, then great. It gets Russell back to where he was. And if not, then Russell's time in Denver probably won't be very long. Yeah. Yeah. Which would be crazy if it ends that quickly.

And his quarterback coach is gonna be Davis Webb. That to me is the most bizarre part of this entire story. Well, you know, it was interesting. Last year, Buffalo wanted Davis Webb to be its quarterback coach, and people have been touting this guy as a coach to be in training for a while now. He wound up going to the Giants to back up Daniel Jones, started a game, turned out to be a swan song as a player.

And all of a sudden he goes into Denver, meets with Sean Payton. I don't know that Sean Payton was thinking that he was gonna hire this guy. Like there was no real connection. There were other people that had worked with Davis Webb, had trained with Davis, knew what kind of guy he was. Sean Payton met him that one day, I believe it was a Friday,

and was like, I'm hiring this guy. That's crazy. And they hired him as the quarterback's coach. And I think in time, we'll see how it develops. Davis Webb will be an NFL head coach. You know, be down the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but it's so bizarre to go from being a backup quarterback

that's objectively not very good. Who's younger by four or five years then, the quarterback he's gonna be coaching up. Yeah. So is Russell going to be able to like listen to this guy as a coach? Yeah, listen, again, I think Russell knows how much he's riding on this season.

So whether it's Davis Webb or Sean Payton. He's gonna listen to everyone. Yeah, like you gotta address some things here. Like last year, it didn't go the way that anybody wanted. So what can you do to be better? And if Davis Webb can help unlock some of that, doing great. Can I ask you just a serious question about the commanders?

And you can tell me, I guess on a scale of whether I should go on continuing to live or whether I should just jump off the side of this building. Will Dan Snyder actually sell this team? I think he's going to sell the team. There you go. That's.

This is the best interview you've ever had. Well, you got Dan selling and you're getting in the group. I'm getting there. Yeah. Right? Like close. No, he's very close. So you're getting help.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna be like a Gallagher concert. Watch out. So, but you actually think that he's going to sell the team? I do. That's my opinion. Like, I don't think you go down this road and have people touring the building

and have as many people around the league looking at you in the way that you do with all these investigations and all these people. Like, we know how the fans in Washington feel. Like, why does he want to stay around for that? Right. He's a sicko. Take your $6.3 billion and go live in London.

Go have a great life. Yeah. Like, what do you need that for? I don't know. So tied up into his life and at such an important. The only thing is like, if you have that much money, like the only thing I'd want to do is buy an NFL team. Yeah.

And also, literally the only thing I'd want to do. If you have fuck you money, you need people to say fuck you too. True. Right. And now he has a lot of people. So if he goes off, lives in London by himself, he has nobody to piss off.

And I genuinely think that he likes pissing people off. I think he's that miserable of a human being. Well, again, there's just too much smoke. You can't go down this road and think that it's not going to continue going down. I think by the start of the new year, I think there's a new owner to go with your new quarterback. And maybe that's his little swan song.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. I have to give you some credit. You did the shirtless Kirk Cousins change. You didn't look that bad. I said it right away. I was like, I want to make fun of Shafty

It's like almost like a knee jerk reaction. You do something assault. We make fun of you. But I saw it and I was like, you know what? Shafty for his age. 56. Yeah. 56.

You look great. It's incredible for 56. You looked awesome. So credit to you. That's very, you know, the backstory with that is we do this command man meeting every Monday, two o'clock Eastern producer has some command man's picked out.

We go over them. To give the command man of Kirk Cousins to Robert Griffin, the third, his former teammate. We want you to do this. I remembered when Stevie Johnson with the Buffalo Bills caught a huge pass game winning pass, came out to the press conference and he was wearing a white tank top.

And Chris Carter that night had Stevie Johnson as the last command man. Like, Steve, you catch the game waiting time. And this is how you come to the press conference. This is how the country's gonna see you in this white tank top. What the hell are you doing? And they come out of it.

And there's Chris Carter in the same white tank top that Stevie Johnson was wearing. I always remember that. It just was kind of cool. So when they told RG three, hey, we want you to do the Kirk Cousins. I'm like, RG, you got to take your shirt off after and have the chains on.

And he's like that and didn't want to do it. And I was like, oh, I'm just telling you, I think you should do it. And he's like, let me call my wife. Let me talk to her about it. And the answer came back. No, he didn't want to do it. So we're riding over to the stadium.

And this is how high level decisions are made at ESPN. We're riding over to the stadium. Me and Denzel, the 22 year old production assistant and my producer, Matt Garrett. And I said to Matt Garrett, big red. I said, maybe I'll take my shirt off. And he goes, you do that? And I go, let me call the boss.

So I called the boss at the park and I'm like, what do you think about taking my shirt off? He goes, ask Denzel. I go Denzel, what do you think? He goes, absolutely. Let me call my wife. She said, absolutely. So I'm like, all right, we'll try this.

Now, people that work around the set like Jess Kraus and Jody Brits, they wrangled up a bunch of chains. Like real, like I had some valuable stuff on there. They gathered together and we start the Come On Man and Robert Griffin III does that one and the interim. I'm on the field in the Mercedes Superdom. And first of all, it's freezing in there. Like if you couldn't tell.

Like I'm just telling you, it was freezing in that. I take my shirt off. And I knew that something was going to be a little bit off because when I took the shirt off, there was a band on the field. It was almost like the music stopped and everybody in the band is looking at me. And so I put all the chains on.

We do it. I get my cell phone back. And within 30 seconds, there were 39 text messages. Like I had front office people that I would never hear from saying, I don't know what the hell you're doing, but I'm cracking up on my cat. Like serious people. It shows you're down.

That's like, that makes the story even better. You know what? You're like, I'll do it. You take your job seriously, but you don't take yourself too seriously. It was an improvement on the gritty from last year. Yeah, which is crazy. Listen, we like to have some fun.

I'm usually the one that is up for some of this stuff. It's not really playing like that was a spontaneous thing as we're on the way to the stadium. It just kind of happened. Yeah. So all right, we got a couple more questions because we know you got to break this news in a second. What's the big story that's coming up

that we don't have our eyes on? I think you gave us one last year. Maybe there's mumblings going on, something big that you could see coming, could be ownership, could be rules. Well, I think there are more teams for sale than just Washington. Oh, I like that.

I think it's not just Washington. I think there are other teams that are sniffing around in the next couple of years. You'll see other teams move too. The Raiders. I don't know about that. The Bears. But I don't know about, well,

but they're gonna have some issues at a certain point in time. Yes, yes. Well, so are the Raiders, right? Yes. They might too, yeah. Mark Davis, sitting able to afford the inheritance tax. The Seahawks. They sound like, oh, you mean being sold?

Yeah. I mean, there's been that speculation for a while. Jody Allen has denied it, but that smoke has always been out there. We'll see. How about this one? How much longer do you think Roger Goodell will be the commissioner of the NFL?

That's a great question. I'll make a prediction. That could be, I think he'll sign another extension. Oh, good. Okay, I love having him around. I think he'll sign another. That'd be my guess. What is his contract up?

I don't know the exact answer to that. They kind of keep those things usually. Got it. Hush hush, but I would think that. I mean, if I was Roger Goodell, I would never retire. No. You get paid $35 million a year or more to just be a punching bag.

He's a great punching bag. He really is. And I've heard that behind the scenes when he's not in front of a camera, that he can be a fun guy, that he's an affable guy with a personality and not the robot that we see, but his job is to be a robot

and to just go out there and just take all the heat. Well, his job is to take care of the owners. Yeah. His job is to look after the list 32 franchises and he's done a pretty good job of that. You ever seen him let his hair down? Have fun? Well, he's in a serious role.

Yeah. He's never taken a shirt off at the Superdome. No. No, I put the chains on him. If you were driving past Roger Goodell and Scottsdale, would you give him your number? That woman sure would. Yeah.

I won't forget that. All right, so I had one last question. Roback question, promo code TAKE. You get the joggers, the Q-Zips, the polos, everything. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. P.S.T. is wearing the Q-Zip right now. That's cool. Great.

I like that. I totally see my nipple, like because I am absolutely excited about this. It's not that cold in here either. We're about to have a different type of come on name. Yes. 20% off. Roback dot com.

Roback dot com. Go check it out right now. Use promo code TAKE. Should we take that on the actress? No, that's fine. That's become a thing now. Roback loves us. I was at the waste management open.

I went out there that Saturday with Booger McFarlane and we were walking around. And there were people actually saying, yelling out, take off your shirt. Oh, I love it. Take off your shirt. I love it, I love it. Yeah, so the two things you get are,

love you on PMT and take off your shirt. And it will be thanks for breaking the news. So if I take off my shirt on PMT, then. Yes, yes. That's the whole world. Any good commanders' news that you ever break if this actually happens, I want people to be like, Adam, thank you for making PFT come.

Yeah, yes, that happened. That happened. All right, last question. Good luck explaining that one to the wife. Last question. What is the most fun thing that Adam Schefter does? Could be a show. Could be a radio hit.

Could be breaking news, investigating something. My mother was on a podcast with Christian McAfrey's mother, Lisa McAfrey, who I've known since her husband Ed played in Denver. And my mother complained to Lisa on the podcast that I'm not any fun. And it was a little bit like the conversation I had with Scott Van Pelt who I ran into at a dinner one night

at the soup bowl. We were talking about the jobs and he's talking about you and Woj and, it is not a complaint. I love my job. I'm unqualified to do anything else. But to let your guard down ever, that's why I go back to that night with Jeff and Diana

for a couple hours just sitting there, unscripted, totally spontaneous. Nothing about it planned. Watching them get propositioned. That was a fun night. I don't really, and I don't mean this in a... No, this is genius. What he's discovered is that if you just live your life

always on edge of breaking news and uptight all the time, two hours of friendship can be like the greatest experience of your life. Yeah, it's like going to the darkness for four hours. It's the equivalent, right? All right, so those little moments? Those little moments? You know, I honestly...

What about the pizza place? I love the pizza place. Don't you go to the pizza place after? Yeah, but I don't go to Bristol anymore. So I don't stop there as much anymore and the guy that owned the pizza place passed away and it's still really good, but I missed that guy. You know what's fun for me?

Honestly, fantasy sports. Really? Fantasy basketball, fantasy golf. I love watching golf. I love watching those guys. Your boy Max Homer, you know, once, you know, call me P-boy, that was like a great thrill for me. Yeah, you call it Max called you P-boy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he called me P-boy. He just called me Choker back, say he's a Choker. That'll go. It's pretty good, yeah. I do like that you've discovered friendship though. Yeah, that's huge. It's very cool. That's cool.

How many times a year do you think that you'll... How often do you want to repeat something like that? To have a friend? Because I personally, I schedule usually Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays. Make it friend days. I hang out with my friends all the time. It's excellent.

You know who my friends are? My dogs. Yeah. Those are your best friends, like those dogs. Man's best friend. In fact, you know, my wife, I'll show you something. This is us sleeping last night. I just want to show you this.

This is how we sleep at night. Oh my God, your dog's like on top of your face. Trying to kill you. She took pictures of you sleeping. Yeah, no, your dog's trying to kill you. Yeah, it's covering your nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dog was sent in by a rapper before.

Yeah. So anyway, there's a bunch of them like that. And also, I would imagine it's fun when you just completely cuck the NBA circles and break news there, too, right? Well, that's such a cheap thrill that you get to have where you're like, this isn't even my job. Boom, coming in.

You had one this year, didn't you? You had a big news. I've had a couple of insignificant NBA stories. Like, they're like the scraps that are left over at the dinner table that nobody else wants to eat and I'll just eat them and be happy to do so. Do you get competitive about that? About NBA?

Do you wish that you were breaking news scores? No, but here's the thing. We talk about friends. Like, Woj is my friend. There aren't many people who understand exactly what you go through. Like, literally, I'll call him. He'll call me like, you're not gonna believe

what's happening right now. Like, I'll call him afterwards. I'll be like, you're not gonna believe this. But we've already talked about it. But this Lamar thing, we're waiting on. Now we gotta wait for the text to come in to say that it's getting done. But he and I, he'll say to me all the time,

I'm waiting on this thing. It's getting close, but they're not done. And you know, and you're like, wait, you're like watching. Yeah, yeah. And it's, your guard is always up. Your guard is always up. And so when the guard is down, that's fun. That is fun.

That's fun, but that doesn't really happen till May, June. Do you keep stats like you versus Rapsheet? No, I don't keep stats in here. You don't notice that? Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. Some people say that you lose your edge there. Back in the day, we used to have a fun thing

called the Markman 50. One of my bosses, we haven't done it in years where he would rank like he'd say, okay, here are the top 50 free agents and you'd score it. And then you just tally the scores who will get that free agent for it. It was just like a fun thing. And honestly, what would happen is

there'd be some free agent who was sitting out there on April 18th and I'm killing myself to get the news that, you know, Paris Campbell's signing within theapolis. My family wouldn't be talking to me because I'd be trying to get that final story. On April 18th, you've been gone for seven, eight months. You're not present.

Can we let up on number 49 on the Markman 50? That's fair. That's totally fair. So for the benefit of everybody, we did weigh with the Markman 50. What if your daughter broke the Aaron Rodgers news? I would love that. It would give me great pleasure.

It wouldn't be like a small percentage of you where you're like, God damn it, that should have been mine. I know what you're saying. You know what, here's the thing. Like when Tom Brady announces that he's retiring, first of all, great career, unbelievable. Everybody loved watching him. Sad for the game, but also on that list,

one less thing you have to worry about. True, it's a good point. So like if Aaron Rodgers just wants to, fine, we can get on with the rest of the quarterback dominoes and we move on. Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. All right, well, Chefty, thank you as always. The third or fourth annual visit.

Yes. I appreciate having me. Hopefully this news becomes official because otherwise we're going to have to cut out like half this interview. Here's how sad this is. Even if it's completely made up, this has been the best hour of my year

as a Washington Commanders fan. So thank you for giving me this break. So if I ended the interview with one word, right, it would bum me out? Yeah, just put me out of my misery. Assault. Oh, I'm going to say you got punked. Yeah, this is what's been awesome.

He's assaulted me, Adam, has assaulted me. All right, thank you, Chefty. Do you know who the culprit was, by the way? Who? Oh, it was my sports update, Ari. Yeah, thank you, Adam. Thank you. See you later.

Bye, guys. That's brutal. Damn. I didn't think you had that in you. Bye, guys. I knew it was fake, but I still loved it. Why did you have to say who for the PMT guys? Why'd you have to do that?

Like, that was too far, Ari. Why'd you have to do that part? Oh, man, Chefty, that's, I mean, that's the best. Honestly, I was hoping you'd buy more than you did. Like, you fucked me on Carson Wentz last year. You knew exactly what you were doing with Carson Wentz, and I knew that you would do something like that. So my guard was up, but it was so cool to see that.

I was like, yes, this is... But who knows? Maybe something will happen. What if anything, you will manifest that. I'm just mad at Ari for saying who. What the fuck, dude? Man, that was good. I should have known when you brought someone.

I changed Ari and my phone this morning. To the name I... I feel like Steven still doesn't understand. No, he doesn't. You know what you... You know what you've done? You know what you've done? You know what you've done?

It's not real, yes. I quit Zinn before the NFL season started. Now I'm going back. Now I'm three-bagging it. Oh, wow. Chefty, I didn't think you had that kind of thing in you, because I was actually gonna text John Harbaugh and be like, how do you not remember us?

I would have been bad for you. Well, it would have been good. I wish I had. It would have been good. Wow. Chefty, you deserve all the credit you owe. That's an unbelievable... He got you, PFT.

Really bad. Really bad. We're gonna have to figure out a way out of this. Now you're back to your room. I'm here. What are you doing? Sorry, bro. Do you want me to jerk you off?

No, I... You're edging now. I'm not... I am not going... I'm not going to jack off until Dan Snyder sells it to you. Okay. Deal. I'm on a masturbation strike.

So how about this? If we find out that's happening, I'll let you know. Yeah, I'm officially on a masturbation strike. I'm gonna try to make it back up to you. Okay. Fair enough. You're good, you. You're good, you.

I'm just happy you didn't do it to me. Happy it was to PFT. All right. Thank you, Adam Schefter. Thank you very much, guys. Adam Schefter is brought to you by our great friends over at Pardon My Cheesesteak. It's us, rough and rowdies tonight.

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Offer valid only today until 11.59 p.m. Eastern. So that's 20% off your order. You just go to PardonMyCheesesteak.com. Use promo code RNR. Offer valid for today until 11.59 p.m. Eastern only. OK, let's wrap up Firefest of the Week. We are, yeah, roughly already 20. Charleston, West Virginia tonight.

I will be there on the call doing the National Anthem. Get excited. It's going to be an awesome, awesome night of fights. So buy it. Have fun. You get a bunch of discounts. I think it's still a blue discount as well. If you buy R&R 20, so buy R&R.com.

20. Yeah, R&R 20. Which one did you fight in? One. One. Wow. Did you win? Yeah.

You've got to fight again at R&R 100. OK. You have to. I mean, you have to. I'll fight Max. You'll fight Max, you accept? Max, you just got called out. Deal.

Champ called you out. Can we make this fight happen? R&R 25? I think the weight discrepancy would have to would be tough. No, I'm just going to get 200 pounds. Oh, what'd he say? Hit the treadmill, buddy. That's fair.

No, that's fair. Yeah, 80 more fights. All right. Hank. I have a couple of firefests. OK, go off. Oh, please. The first one.

Do you have your entire lunch on your sweatshirt? I didn't pack. No, why does that? This is a lint. It is lint. OK. That's the lint. For the next 30 days.

The one thing. Can I say something real quick? No. The one thing I love about Hank. Here we go. I've known him a very long time. Here we go. No matter where we're eating or what we're eating,

he ends up with a piece of food like halfway up his chin, like on his side. You know why? Because he always has one moment, whether it's lunch or dinner, where he tries to eat something and he coughs it up or it comes out his nose. He's good for one of those almost maybe throw up moments while it's like a sneeze, cough, puke moment.

You had one of those last night for sure. I'm not a good eater. Two tables. You're not a good eater. You're not a good eater. That's fat. Eating is a chore. Like people love to eat.

You love to eat. What? I look at eating as more of like something that I have to do. And as someone who's trying to get in the fitness world and put on weight and muscle, it's like you have to eat so much to do that. And I'm always like, fuck. Well, Hank did say at lunch today after he

ordered a club sandwich and he took two bites out of it. Well, I had a full French onion soup, a full shrimp cocktail. Crazy, so you had one shrimp. Yeah, a full shrimp. You ate a shrimp. I ate a full shrimp with sauce. I can't even comprehend. Like the only thing I enjoy doing is eating.

Hank did say that he needs a coach. I wish I enjoyed eating. That's all I get. That's all I look forward to. I wake up and I'm like, what am I going to have for dinner? The amount of times I get hungry, I'm like, I'm starving. What are we eating?

And then we go. And then I get embarrassed because I eat three bites. I'm like, all right, I'm full. But then they're like, did you say you're starving? I was like, well, I was. You said you needed a coach to teach you how to eat properly. I've thought about like a swallowing coach. I've thought about doing.

Did you see what I did today when I got us three desserts? Nancy Reagan? Yeah. That's a baller move. Last night, I low key did order two entrees. I've been prescribed ADHD medicine since I was in like sixth grade. And I think that's just destroyed my stomach and my appetite and my will to eat.

But I would love to get better at it. That's not even my fire. All right, I'll teach you. My first firefest is I forgot to dye my beard one day and let the gray out and people freaked out. Oh, yeah, that was bad. I was shocked. Because we've seen you in those moments

when you wake up before you put your makeup on, and we're like, whoa, you look old. Yeah, before we take part in my takers, I thought I was like, I'll just test out see how people think. Maybe 30 minutes. There's about 30 minutes where we're prepping where Hank goes into hair and makeup.

And he dyes it. So we're used to seeing that. But yeah, you let it slip yesterday. So now the internet knows. Yeah, no, I was a little taken aghast by the reaction. Yeah, aghast. Taken aghast. I was aghast.

Yeah, even that. Yeah, it was a guy like that one. He sounds close enough. Shout out word. My other firefest is I got, it's not even a firefest, because if there's one community online that I truly could care less about and hope like the worst things happen to them is, it's.

Oh, the lottery ball people. One fucking dickhead in Indianapolis. Get in the elevator. I'm on the 17th floor, ironically. We get all the way to the top and the guy gets out and goes, look at the lottery ball and then skirts away. Yes, we also couldn't even say it to my face like a man. We also had Dana down in the elevator.

He had to wait till he had an escape route. Yeah, Dana Beers teaching a class at his community college. And there was like a list of questions and the bottom was, will Hank ever get to the bottom? Yeah, those kids are going nowhere. I like. What about Dana Beers? He's somewhere.

Is he? I love that they brought him back as a professor emeritus of his community school. Well, no, Dana Beers is a success. He's the most successful guy who went to his college. But whoever wrote that question is going nowhere in life quickly. Maybe an internship at Pardon My Take.

Absolutely not. Well, yeah. So wait, there's other communities that you're upset with online, though, too. You really lost that over because. Snake community. Yeah, so a AWL DM'd a picture and was like a very poisonous snake or oh, yes.

Correct me, venomous corral snake. Matt Corral snake. A coral snake slithered up on him and he for whatever reason was holding. I guess not for whatever reason. Smart people walk around with their car sticks. Keep that. Keep that motherfucking thing.

Coral snake walked up on him and he used the car stick to kill the snake and avoid dying from getting a poisonous venomous bite. And in the picture, the snake was like cut up. He sliced it up like probably four or five different times. And the snake community comes out of the clouds and was like, this is so fucked up. You guys are murderers.

This is sickening. How are you promoting this? And that's what I'm saying. I didn't think he did enough. That was me. I would have sliced it up seven times. I would have found his kids. Taken the seven slices and then burnt them on fire

because I would have been worried that that's going to turn into seven new snakes. It's like it's a Terminator movie. That actually is how it works. It is. Do not apologize to the snake community. No, fuck the snake community. What are they?

Scaleheads, whatever you are if you're in the snake community. I did zoom in on it. When you first sent that picture, I zoomed in on the snake because I was like, there's no way that's a coral snake. That's got to be a corn snake because they look the same. That's red, yellow, kilofellow. That guy, he should have sliced it up more.

It did look like it was center court at the Sixers where it was the join or die snake. He really killed the fuck out of that snake. It's serial killer vibes. It's serial killer vibes to be pro snake in this situation. To be a snake. To be a snake literally have had the worst rap deservedly so in the history of animals.

They were the first animal Adam and Eve. The Bible. Yeah, right. You are a serial killer if you are a snake. Well, the person that killed the snake very clearly isn't a serial killer. They're a solo killer. They killed one snake.

Right. And it's not a serial. That snake was trying. Every snake is trying to kill a person. It was tried and convicted of being a snake and was summarily executed by Hank's car stick. Dude, snake people, just get a dog. I hate snakes.

You should market the next iteration as just the snake stick. Yeah. I mean, it's one in all lifetime against snakes. Even people who have weirded it, like people who own ferrets, like, OK, it's weird. But you could see, like, hey, ferrets are kind of nice, whatever.

Snakes are just, snakes literally just exist to wait till you go to sleep so they can kill you. That's it. Snakes and cats. If you had a baby, a snake would swallow it. And it'd be like, where's the baby? And it's like the snake where you can just see the giant. Yeah, a snake would be like, what's for lunch?

I'm hungry. Yeah. So fuck snakes. Yeah, fuck snakes. Fuck that guy out of the elevator. Yeah. No, I hate snakes. Snakes trash.

All my homies hate snakes. Yeah. We're the Indiana Jones of podcasts. We hate Nazis and snakes. Hell yeah. Speaking of the Indiana Jones, I watched a sat through the commercials, too, because I was into it, because it was, like, showing a lot of Chicago at the fugitive.

Great movie. Fantastic. Good Chicago. I've never seen that. No. Great movie. It wasn't me, the one-armed man. I don't think, I don't know, sitting through commercials to

watch a movie is pretty much as good of a recommendation as you can get. That's a fact. That's a fact. I looked at the board in the hotel, and I was like, this is a good movie. It would be great if they made a movie, though, where there were Nazi snakes just slithering around wearing the

armband. I actually would say that's redundant. I'll say that's redundant. I'll say that's redundant. All snakes are Nazis. And all Nazis are snakes. Correct. Those are the one and the same.

Like, imagine if there was a movie where it was like giant Nazi snakes, and then just Sylvester Stallone shows up with a machine gun. And it's just 90 minutes of him shooting snakes. Done. I'm in. In. Fully in.

That should be our next boner dog. Yes. Nazi snakes. Yeah. Yeah. Not to get too historical here, too, but you know, I learned about the right and left on Last Show. Wait, wait, which is it?

Conservative liberal. Red. Three Rs. What? Red, Republican, right. Oh, OK, got it. There you go. And then what's the?

NASA's. Wait, what's the other side? NASA, wait, wait. I learned that NASA is a serious problem. What do you mean? There's a lot of Nazis that are wearing that. Oh, you learned about Operation Papercliff. Big time.

We heard all their fucking scientists. That's a problem. Yeah, no, it is a problem. When the US and Russia or USSR were converging on Germany, the reason why we were both fighting to see who could take the capital the fastest is because we wanted their scientists to get us to the moon. So Werner von Braun, who is the head scientist that got us

to the moon, actual Nazi, he built their rockets. You tried to bring back NASA shirts. That's oh, yeah, that's true. But I but I've moved on from that. I that was a teachable. Now it's your swastika. That was that was it. That was a heated gaming moment that I moved on from Hank.

All right, PFT, your fire fest. My fire fest is one. I'm going through some butt issues right now. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's travel. Maybe it's just what we ate yesterday. But I've been I've been a poop guy for the last couple of days. And a couple years, a couple of days, really.

And then my my other issue, Jake's definitely the poop guy this podcast. I don't know. He missed the Super Bowl to poop. Yeah, no. Listen, it doesn't get more bigger moments. I think you're more consistently a poop guy. I'm I think we you're you're you're basically like that compiler.

Yeah, you Jake will Jake. Jake is Adam Dunn and you will. You're like Pete Rose, the hit king. You'll get as many hits. Who's going to do a live class call? Yeah. What is that? Is he pranking you?

Tommy, you're you're on part of my take. What's up? Oh, yeah. He's definitely doing some video. Definitely doing some weird video. Oh, my I have to know. My other fire fest is my stomach has been hurting for other reasons this week.

And pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Not yet. I I shared this with you guys at dinner last night. But I when I went in to get my my platelet rich plasma injections into my scalp, I got upsold into getting cool sculpting done on my stomach. And so now my stomach hurts really bad.

The good news is I'm going to have final four abs. Hell yeah. So and it's it's before Hank. It's so easy to do. You just sit in a chair and then just freeze your fat. And then your fat gets shat out of you. That's probably why I'm shitting all the time. I'm losing weight.

I'm the pinnacle of health actually. Because I told you guys last night like similar to you running a marathon without telling anyone. I am going to do that insulin medicine without telling anyone. And someday I'll just start shedding pounds and everybody. What is he doing? And I'll be like, I just learned how to eat right.

Yeah. 40 years old. I just started following a diet. Just big cat have AIDS. Yeah. No, and then I'll I'll mix in some some TRT. And yeah, I'll just I will be one of those guys who goes on Instagram being like, all you got to do

is like walk two miles a day and do a few lunges. And you you could be Jack like me. Yeah, no, I I'm definitely taking a shortcut to getting abs. It's I don't think anyone's questioning that. But I'm also running a marathon at some point. So who's to say which is shortcut or not. Also, Hank could have taken the same shortcut, but he chose not to.

You could you chose not to hang on all naturally. The the cool sculpting I'm so pumped. I'm so pumped. It's going to be give me give me like four weeks. I'm going to be shredded in my stomach area. It's going to be incredible. All right. My firefest is pretty simple.

It's March and what I mean by that. I'm just in the I'm in the ringer. I'm I'm just every day. I'm I'm fighting for everything. TCU, Texas, I stayed up, watch the end of that game. If people missed it, TCU was two and a half point favorite in Texas hit a meaningless three to cover the spread. And I didn't go to sleep for like two hours.

And I forgot like, oh, yeah, this is March because every game is the exact same struggle and you know it's coming. And there's nothing you can do about it. I love this time of year. But God damn it, it takes a lot out of you. You just what you're just rooting as hard as you can for a bunch of 18 year old kids to not fuck up.

Well, the thing about basketball is there's so many games that are going on at once. Yeah. And it's hard to keep focused. I'm trying to limit myself. I'm betting on I think two games a night for the past week. So that way I can at least keep my eye on everything that's going on. There's nothing worse than losing a bet and you didn't even get to watch it.

Yeah. At that point, you're just doing math. Yeah. Yeah, you're just looking at a spreadsheet. Although, and by the way, everyone gamble responsibly. I was responsibly gambling on TCU. It just was one of those games where it's like you lose on a buzzer beater. That means nothing and it hurts. The I do occasionally I call movie unders. If I if I'm going to a movie, yeah, I'll bet the under

and because I won't look at my phone for the entire two hours and then come out and hope that I have good news. That's smart. That's that's the only way to do it. Literally, any time I go to a movie, I'll just be like, all right, what's the under? All right, I'll bet it because I just don't. I won't watch it, won't check it, won't do anything. Just come out and hope I have good news. Yeah. Smart people that that know how to gamble correctly on basketball,

they will do things like bet on games and then not watch them. Yeah. To me, that's like that's the worst possible experience. The whole point is something and not watching the game. Yeah. No, it's watching the game. I got two fun parts to die hard locks that I'm sure will have hit by the time you're listening to this. I did take Michigan. I took them straight up.

OK. And then I took Purdue. I'm on. I'm on. I'm all in on you. I'm all in on Purdue. That was mean of you. It's just a fact. It's numbers. Yeah, that was mean of you. It's business. You didn't have to do that. It's business, baby.

You didn't have to do that. I didn't have to. But I kind of wanted. Yeah, but there was no there was no science behind it. I the ski mask. Yeah, there was nothing. Hunter Dickinson. No, but the Wisconsin Purdue game, there was no science behind it, I'm saying.

Yeah, there was just I'm taking Purdue. Well, no. And so here's what happened is I put a future on Purdue a couple of weeks ago to win the entire the whole enchilada. And now I'm just like I'm a Purdue guy, so I'm just I'm supporting my guys. Yeah, but see, you already have action on the game. You need Purdue to win to get the one seed.

Yeah, but I mean, I didn't think about that. Yeah, you doubled in it. Yeah, Nova's going to win the Big East. Max, you have a firefest? Yes, my firefest is Tiktokers. Oh, yeah. Juju Smith Max is officially triggered online by Juju Smith.

He's a piece of shit. I don't know who he thinks he is, like doing the Super Bowl champ would be one thing. No, no, he's literally a Super Bowl champ. This is, let me ask you a follow up question. I'm a Super Bowl champ too. Let me ask you a follow up question. Did the Phillies get no hit in the World Series?

Technically. Okay, technically, Juju Smith is a Super Bowl champ. Yeah, he's also a child. Okay. And A.J. Brown would beat the absolute fucking loss. Wait, in a football game or in a fight? In both. No, I mean, no one is saying

that Juju Smith's shoester is a better football player than A.J. Brown. He does have a Super Bowl ring. That's besides the point. Well, that seems like a, what's the goal of every NFL team? This is a different conversation. It was a shitty fucking Tiktok.

Max, you have to know that getting into these conversations, we're just going to go down this route. And we're going to beat you every time. I'm just trying to say what happened. I mean, it's very silly of you to get into this big debate and then come in second place. And not have a Super Bowl ring. It's not a debate.

It's just... Well, no, no, no, you're right. It's not a debate. Juju Smith's shoester is a Super Bowl champion. A.J. Brown is a better football player. But what did I say? That the first part isn't erased. And he would beat the fuck out of him.

Okay, that I agree with. The thing about A.J. Brown is you beat the fuck out of Juju. Juju Smith's shoester is just a weirdo. Yeah. He is. Like, that whole video was just weird. Yeah. I mean, it was a bad...

It was a bad, like, TikTok skit. Oh, a lot of retweets. But that's just because it's Juju Smith's shoester and everyone loves to hate on it. Okay. All right. I mean, it's true. No one looked at that video and was like,

oh, except for fucking Hank. Like, this was... Oh, yeah, Hank, we watched it at lunch because Max was so triggered and he pulled it up and Hank was like, this is funny. This is funny. And got Max even more triggered. Can you explain what the TikTok was?

You just don't understand art. The... Aren't you a film guy? That was a bad TikTok skit. Explain what it was for those of us that haven't seen it. Juju Smith's shoester did one of those, like, things on TikTok, those skits where they dress up... The same person dresses up like different people.

Oh, like Eddie Murphy. He's fucking funny. Tyler Perry? Correct. Robin Williams. Juju Smith's shoester, not funny. Well, no, we just... He's in the conversation with Eddie Murphy,

Robin Williams, and Tyler Perry. One of the players was like, oh, sorry, we dropped the ball, Jalen, and kind of like making fun of him. Did he not just, was he just, was Juju Smith's shoester not just in the same sentence as some of the best comedians of all time? I hate every single one of you.

I'm just asking a question. Was he or was he not in that sentence? You could put Hank in it. You could just say name. He was in it. No, he wasn't. We just say name. No, the...

You... I did do a Frank and Hank impression and it broke the internet. Roll back the tape. You just said Juju Smith's shoester did one of those Eddie Murphy, Tyler Perry, Robin Williams type things. You said that. Oh, Michael Keaton, multiplicity.

Yeah, all the great actors. I don't care how it performed. I'm not even looking... A.J. Brown's tweet probably did better before he deleted it. Why'd he delete it? Because he's a bitch. Oh, no!

No, because he's trying to take the high road and be a professional. He's trying to figure out why and how we landed on the moon. Because he was triggered. Yeah, but some people get emotional. But A.J. Brown basically said that he would beat the fuck out of him if he'd keep talking about it.

One thing about A.J. Brown. Yeah, see, he beat the fuck out of Hank. Anytime he wants. He would beat the fuck out of Juju Smith's shoester. That's a fact. That is a fact. A.J. Brown's my guy. Juju Smith's shoester, piece of shit.

Facts. Okay, and what was your firefest? Just being triggered. Just hating Juju Smith's shoester. Oh, all right, that's a good firefest. I like to get Jerry's thoughts on Juju. Oh, he does not like him. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. That's my guy. Does not like him, yeah. Still won a Super Bowl, though. Still won a... He is a Super Bowl champ. Still a pussy. He does, like, there will be NFL Films, you know,

documentary on those chiefs. He will be featured. So will A.J. Brown. Yeah, he's a loser in the game. Probably not. They probably won't interview him. Oh, nice. Ward's getting us more water.

Hell yes, shout out Ward. He's been our sound guy this week. He just hit us with my pleasure, too. Like Chick-fil-A, that was nice. I'm chugging water. I'm gonna wait to thank a sound guy this time. All right, so should we kick it to ourselves? Hank, I really think this is the time

you're gonna get the lottery ball. Yeah. Do you think so? No. Why? Because I know it happens. No, don't do that. He's gonna get it right now, guys.

You know what's fucked up is I forgot whether or not Hank got the lottery ball and he just spoiled it. I will say the piss bets were excellent. Electric. We could brim that back. I'll run it back. Anytime you want, boy.

Anytime you want. Anytime you want. All right, kick it to ourselves. All right, ready? Yeah, if I get this, I'm not gonna be able to hold it. You have to. Yeah. Are we still taping?

Yeah. What you just said is illegal. Why don't you? You're gonna have the same problem. No, I won't say shit. All right. When have we ever spoiled this? Never.

Wait, is the pee still on? You literally tweeted it. I mean, he's not gonna get it. I don't know why we're... I'll run the pee back. Is the pee still on? Yeah, oh, yeah. No, I thought, that's what I'm saying.

Like, when I get this and you have to drink the pee. I tweeted the eyeball emoji. That could mean anything. Okay, so it is Friday's show. We're taping this because we're in Indy. The pee bet is still on. If I get it, Hank has to drink a sip of his pee. If Hank gets it, I have to drink a sip of my pee.

He's not gonna get it though. Have you ever gotten it? No. Okay, numbers. 69. 17. 18. I'm never doing that mistake again.

20. Eight. Keep in mind, three and 45. I think 45, but three's definitely out. 76. Oh, 17 just popped up, Hank. 67. Damn.

No, Hank. Another week. No lottery balls for Hank. Love you guys. Very time. Dogs walk in a circle before they sleep to coordinate themselves north-south. Is that true?

No, that's true. Someone does walk in a circle. I thought it was because they pat down the ground. They pat down the grass. They walk in a circle to make sure that they're in a suitable sleeping environment. It's something about magnetic fields. No, it's patting down the grass.

No, no, no. If you look it up, they're like always directing. Let's look it up. Let's look it up real quick. Dogs circles north-south. Let's see what we got here. Man, the wifi sucks. So I guess we just have to believe you.

Yeah, north-south. Oh, okay, confirmed. He just looked at his phone. He goes, oh, you had north-south. Canines choose to do so in north-south access. Access. I I

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