Pardon My Take - Adam Schefter + The Lakers Are Dead

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

The Lakers get the done chain and the Celtics continue to be an enigma. (2:13-16:05) Bachelor talk for guys that don't watch the Bachelor. (16:06-18:42) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including the Giants for l...etting Landon Collins walk and porn in England.(18:43-30:05) Adam Schefter joins the show to talk about big J life, his graduation to pee man, an honest conversation about his addiction to breaking news, and the time we beat him on the Mike McCarthy firing. (33:00-1:12:55) Segments include locker room talk for Pac-Man Jones, (1:16:41-1:18:51) we watch the new Game of Thrones trailer (18:52-1:21:42), talking soccer (1:21:43-1:23:52), the return of "dead or alive?" (1:23:53-1:25:41) and guys on chicks (1:25:42-1:30:42). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Adam Schefter. Back on the show, it's been a while, we're current guest Adam Schefter. He joined us in Indy. We actually, it was a very interesting conversation. We demanded the Desk Tape, we demanded the other name in the Robert Kraft scandal, but
Starting point is 00:00:25 more than that, we talked about his addiction to breaking news, just like real talk. It was a real talk, guys doing real talk. We also have a hot seat, cool throne, bachelor talk for guys that don't watch The Bachelor. We have the new Game of Thrones trailer back out. We're gonna bring back one of our favorite segments, Dead or Alive, and then we have guys on chicks because it's Wednesday. Before we get to all that, it's time to talk about the cash card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store for a reason, the cash card is the most powerful
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Starting point is 00:02:31 got all kinds of stuff on our YouTube channel. Check it out right now. Today is Wednesday, March 6th, 3-6th Mafia Day, and the Lakers are dead. Yes. Los Angeles Lakers are DOA, dead on arrival. I don't know if they're dead just yet. Oh yeah, they are. I don't know if they're dead just yet.
Starting point is 00:02:51 I'm done chaining them. Listen, can we just say they're in pre-production for Space Jam 2? They are as dead as dead can be. They lost again. LeBron James, wait, hold on, first of all we need to back up because I see what's happening online right now and I'm not happy about it because people are putting out LeBron clips that can be easily explained like the 2 for 1 video and using that like look LeBron's not trying and blah blah blah.
Starting point is 00:03:18 We have to be careful here because LeBron stands are waiting for us to slip up. Yes, I am. Okay, yeah, PFT is waiting for us to slip up Hank. I was actually- We have to only criticize the things that warrant criticism. We can't be doing the, oh look at LeBron, he's going, like the 2 for 1 is the most classic, everyone who's watched basketball knows that that's exactly what you do so LeBron was in the right there.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Let's just stay with the Lakers' stink, someone had to say it. So there was that clip which was a bit of fake news and then the other deep fake that Hank put out and passed all over the internet was Kyle Kuzma pushing LeBron to go guard the guy to shoot the 3-point. That was Kyle Kuzma's man. Whose man's? So his name is Kyle Kuzma, right? We just need to do a good job, everyone out there, listen, I know the vultures are circling,
Starting point is 00:04:03 don't put out the fake videos on LeBron, just say, hey, the Lakers are not going to make the playoffs for the 6th straight year and before that they had not gone, they hadn't missed the playoffs 5 years total, total in their franchise history. Now I do have a take about the Lakers, no that sounds right, so I'm going to go with it. Listen, it feels right, that's all that's important. It feels right, in your bones. It felt great to me, the one thing I'm keeping an eye on here, I think LeBron might be tanking
Starting point is 00:04:31 this season on purpose because KD is going to want to do the opposite thing that he did last time he was a free agent, KD is very much a prisoner of the moment, he's known that it's felt bad, him being in Golden State, hasn't felt right, yeah he's winning titles and shit. People say BBB. People say he's a BBB, he wants to reverse that narrative, so he wants to go to perhaps the worst team in the league, right now that looks like the Los Angeles Lakers because they just lost to the worst team in the league two nights ago.
Starting point is 00:05:02 I think that this is LeBron James, setting up a long proposition here. So the Lakers, I'm done chaining them, they are five and a half games back with 18 games to play, they basically have to run the table. They have no chance. They have to run the table to sneak into that last spot, so this is going to be a total failure. They also lost the city. They did lose the city, the Clippers have beat them. And the Clippers are probably going to make the playoff.
Starting point is 00:05:29 In a year where they're intentionally not trying to make the playoff. Did you see what Skip Bayla said? He said if you gave Patrick Beverly's heart to LeBron, LeBron would be MJ. Spot the lie. I think if he had Patrick Beverly's liver, he'd probably be MJ because right now LeBron's ransacked his own body, his organs are failing on him. He's got the shakes at the free throw line. You're the LeBron stand.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Yeah, no, I'm just saying he needs a new liver. I'm saying LeBron James is the best athlete that we've ever seen in anyone's lifetime. Again, with the caveat of American Faro, greatest athlete of all time, but his liver is betraying him. Well, it's funny you bring up secretariat. So secretariat's heart was three times the size of a normal horse's heart. LeBron James' liver is three times the size of any other NBA's liver. So listen, all I'm saying is Skip was right to kind of toss that out there.
Starting point is 00:06:23 There is something that LeBron's, he's, he doesn't have this year that he's had the years of the past. And I think there's only one explanation and that's that he's doing it intentionally to get Kevin Durant on the Lakers next year. So he also came up gimpy with a groin, which is we've circled this for a while now. The phantom injury is coming. I think he even said that like he was definitely going to play unless, unless he's hurt, unless he's hurt.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I am kind of sick of talking about the Lakers, but they keep doing things that like demand our attention. It's similar to in a segue to Hank, your Boston Celtics, they keep doing things where it's like we got to talk about them because they just demand all the headlines right now before we get to March Madness. Yeah. No, they're, they're not looking very good. I don't know if you saw this last night, but there were fans in LA chanting, we want
Starting point is 00:07:10 Kobe when LeBron was shooting. They still want Kobe. Do you think that Boston fans are going to chant, we want Scalabrini when Gordon Hayward shooting? No, maybe, maybe the truth. The Celtics, the thing with the Celtics and the thing with the Eastern Conference is that yes, the Celtics are kind of a dumpster fire right now. Jaylen Brown said that it's a toxic environment.
Starting point is 00:07:28 He said, now this is, we live in just like, I hate the fake news because now you can't believe anything, but there is like fake news left and right, even in sports. He did say toxic, losing is toxic. Yes. And it was the quote was, it's a toxic environment. So, salacious. It's crazy because I know the bucks are much better this year. I know the Raptors are much better this year, but I could still see a situation where the
Starting point is 00:07:49 Celtics could beat the Sixers. They could beat the Bucks. They could beat the Raptors. And all it takes is, you need to win one series and then it's like everything going for it. There's no chance, there's no chance to beat the Bucks. There's, they could beat the Bucks. They're not going to beat the Bucks.
Starting point is 00:08:02 They could beat the Bucks. I agree with you that they could beat the Sixers because they've kind of had the Sixers number in the postseason recently and then there's the Raptors and I'm not going to believe the Raptors until I actually see them. Different Raptors. Different Raptors. There are red teams. Different Raptors.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Red teams out of the East. They don't do well. Hank, you just brought up a good point, the Blackhawks and the Caps. So you're saying that the Celtics just need to get a hot goalie. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Bring back big baby. Yeah. Just get that hot goalie. So Kyrie, the like story has been, it actually started with Adam Silver's comments at the Sloan Conference at Pills Simmons about players being unhappy. And Kyrie Irving, there was a, there was a story in the ringer where he basically said, or it was reported, I'll read the quote here, these days Irving plays lackadaisical defense and unfocused offense.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Sources around the team told me that Irving's persona has changed too. He's become disengaged and detached from those around the team. There's talk that Irving's friendship on the team start and end with Tatum with whom he shares an agent. Two sources peg Irving's change in demeanor to early February around the time. He was asked about the possibility of joining the Knicks next season. That's when Irving famously said he'd make the best decision for his family and that he didn't owe anybody shit.
Starting point is 00:09:16 He also said that he doesn't, he's sick of like the cameras and the celebrity that comes with being an unbelievable athlete and unbelievable NBA player and a millionaire many, many times over. I'm sure moving to New York would, would help with that. Probably. He's not happy. Well, you can always have a happy boy. James Dolan.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I just want to be happy. That's all I really want. I, Kyrie, it's so much better when Kyrie's doing his thing where he's just like taking one-on-one drives to the hole and, and making his like crazy little layups with a spin off the glass. And he's not happy. He's not doing that anymore. He's also actively pursued like an acting and movie career.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Well, that sounds bitch. I was going to say, I was going to say, no, but it's like how do you, I don't like the cameras. I don't like the spectacle. Like I don't like. My, my. And then also be like in my off season when I have free time, I'm going to go be a movie star.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Okay. So my take on this is that Kyrie Irving, like he's 26 years old. And I think this is actually a very relatable thing. Stars are just like us. The quarter life crisis, Kyrie Irving is going through his quarter life crisis. Everyone hits that point in your mid to late twenties, where you're like, what's the meaning of life? Is the earth flat?
Starting point is 00:10:17 Am I going to stop producing part of my take and do stool scenes, that kind of quarter life. Exactly. Yeah. So I actually think that it's, it's, it's the most relatable thing that Kyrie Irving can do. Now it's clearly on a ridiculous scale because he makes a ton of money is going to get paid wherever he goes.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Doesn't make you happy. Doesn't money. Doesn't buy happiness. All your problems away. But he is, he is essentially like whoever's listening to us right now, if you are in your late twenties, you're sitting in maybe your cubicle, you're going to work and you're like, man, what is this? Is this going to just be the rat race for the rest of my life?
Starting point is 00:10:50 Kyrie Irving's doing that. And he's just saying, what is this? Am I just going to play basketball and get paid $30 million a year for the rest of my life? Yeah. As I say that, it's the most ridiculous take. He's going through the Derek Rose. Like he wants to make sure that his future children will be able to walk at the graduation.
Starting point is 00:11:06 No, he wanted to be able to walk at his children's graduation. Yeah, PJ. Okay. Does that make sense though? Like it's not a wedding. You don't have to walk them down the aisle across the stage. But it would be weird if you like. You sit down through an entire, have you ever been to a graduation ceremony?
Starting point is 00:11:19 The only thing that's required of you is to sit. I think he was thinking he was going to walk across the stage with his son. That's how it should be. Yeah. On his back. Yeah. Piggyback him. Piggyback him.
Starting point is 00:11:31 I have a slightly different take about Kyrie. I think he's a method actor. He got into character as Uncle Drew as like a baby boomer. Now he hates all millennials around us. I said that yeah, a couple of weeks ago that he was, he has, Uncle Drew has gotten in his brain. Yeah. He's just become Uncle Drew.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Yeah. So he's a character actor right now and he's still stuck. Like Andy Kaufman got stuck playing like his mind got messed up. Like can you imagine that playing a character for so long that it starts to affect your brain and everything that you do? I can't imagine that. Nope. But I think that's what Kyrie Irving is absolutely doing and now he hates all the youngins around
Starting point is 00:12:00 him. Wait. You're saying that right? That he hates. It was a Skype show. That he hates all. So it's a pass if you don't. But wait.
Starting point is 00:12:08 You're saying that he hates the young kids around him. No. Well you took it one step further but he basically just became Uncle Drew. Okay. Yeah. So we're on the same page. So I agree with that. I'm just taking it like mentally.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Correct. That's why he's disengaged. The millennial part I didn't have which I agree with. Okay. So he thinks that everyone's just like a loser millennial. Yeah. Even though he's 26. That's what, that's what we call stacking takes in the biz.
Starting point is 00:12:25 We just did it. We just stacked right on top of each other. It was basically verbal meme. I'm Dwayne Wade and I'm dunking and now you're doing the hand thing and you're the LeBron stand dunking. Yeah. Verbal meme. Kyrie's an old bitch.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yeah. The ball says Kyrie thinks he's Uncle Drew. Yeah. Done. The main difference being that the Celtics are still going to be in the playoffs and have a chance to run the table and the Lakers are out. Now what about this deflection? What if the Lakers.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Point you. What if the Lakers played in the East? They would actually be in the playoffs. Yeah. They'd be like a seven seed or something like that. I think they would, oh and I'm going to pull up. They would be, they would, they would be the A seed right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:08 They would be the A seed instead of the Orlando Magic. That's kind of what LeBron's done in years past is kind of coasting the playoffs. True. East. East is a lot easier. What if at the end of the season, they're in LA, big, big Hollywood town, big entertainment town. Tinseltown.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Tinseltown. Lot of jokers out there. What if at the end of the season they finish them dead last place and the team sucks and LeBron just goes, the aristocrats. Yeah. Ha. Fuck this whole season. I get it.
Starting point is 00:13:33 That was so funny. Right. And there was just a documentary the whole time that was going to go out on, what is this thing? The shop. No, no, no. He's got like a. Uninterrupted.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Yeah. Uninterrupted. Braun TV. It's going to be just, it's actually going to be, he's going to put it out as a series of Instagram stories so that everyone, when you go to watch LeBron's Instagram story, it's just a bunch of little minuscule dots. He puts 17 hours up on 15 second Instagram. He had an all time Instagram story the other day when he was just like, it was him videotaping
Starting point is 00:14:03 himself in the mirror and just dancing and listening to two chains and just smiling and screaming. People, LeBron just walks around with his phone on himself all day long, like around his family. Yeah. His kids probably hate him. It's probably, his kids probably think that daddy has. You're a LeBron stan.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah, I know. Might not remind you. Well, that's okay. Listen, you don't have time for family when you're a superstar. Even LeBron stans are falling off the wagon. Hank's starting to, you know what it is, is that cool hat Hank's wearing where it looks like a seal is eating his, his entire head. You look like the guy who's going to put a leg through the wood chipper in Fargo.
Starting point is 00:14:37 That's exactly who you are right now. Anyways, as a LeBron stan, all I'm saying is that he is, he's tanking this season. Going to get next year. He's going to have Xion. What is he going to do during the playoffs? Well, he's going to do, he's probably going to be on like, you know, a countdown or something. A ESPN, you know, what is it? The jump.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I doubt that very much. I don't think so though. Maybe he'll just go with mellow to like a, I, I mean, I said it and I, it's kind of a joke, but it's not like, I could see him going to all the Warriors games and wearing Warriors jerseys. It just being like, these are my team, these are my dogs. Honestly, I think he's going to be a Celtics fan. I think he's going to be rooting for Kyrie.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I think throughout the course of the season, he's gained a lot of sympathy for Kyrie and they kind of see each other as peers right now as being just terminally unhappy people. Someone, someone didn't make this point out. I'm going to have to find their tweet because I can give them credit for it, but they said this is like a perfect Hollywood romcom where LeBron and Kyrie are both having like their shut up. It's how it's directing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Like they're both, they're both like sad and depressed. And then next season they come together and then cue the montage. I like that. Sleepless in Seattle. Maybe they go to the, uh, the supersonics. Yeah. Whatever he does do, uh, I would just not want to be a perfect booty this spring because this is the first time we won't get zero dark 30, 23 in like 15 years.
Starting point is 00:15:52 So he's going to be double tapping. Watch out. If you're a perfect booty on Instagram, watch out. Uh, by the way, do you guys agree with me? Anyone who does Instagram, if you go over like 20 Instagram stories in 24 hours, you're an asshole. Agreed. Because you're just making us click it over and over and over.
Starting point is 00:16:06 When I see all those dots at the top that look like Morse code, that's a big RG three thing. That's a real, don't be so selfish. Um, all right, before we get to hot seat, cool throne, let's do quickly our bachelor talk for guys that don't watch the bachelor, the, the, the, the, uh, jump, the fence jump that happened. It happened. It happened.
Starting point is 00:16:24 And is everyone still alive? Are you guys okay? I'm, I'm okay. So tank, explain to me what the fence jump was. So fence jump is what they, they foreshadowed at the beginning of the season. It was like the, the climax finally happened. I'll get into the bullet points first. Unfortunately, I couldn't watch because I was watching football with you guys.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Oh, so you do watch normal, unfortunately, you couldn't watch the bachelor because you were watching football. Yes. That's too bad. Uh, Tayshaya got the first fantasy sweet date, but her and Colton did not have sex. Shock. Yeah. Cassie's dad showed up in Portugal to talk Cassie out of getting engaged to Colton.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Okay. So he traveled across the Atlantic Ocean to say like, don't do this. Oh, I just, uh, that blew my mind for a second. I was thinking Portugal's in Southern South America. And then Colton's Brazilian in Portuguese. Yeah, they do. That's true. Colton told Cassie he loves her and we'll pick her at the end.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Cassie then decided to leave on her own anyway, which is like the seventh girl to just leave on her own. Every, every person that Colton starts falling for just leaves, which caused Colton to freak out, jump a fence and to get away from the cameras. He couldn't, he couldn't handle it. Is this like a royal rumble where if you jump over the fence and both feet touch the other side, you have to divergent? Mm hmm.
Starting point is 00:17:33 I, I mean, I've been saying like that, that was a very impressive athletic feat. And I know we've gone back and forth to whether he's a virgin or not. Cassie would be leaning towards the side of, he is a virgin because if you're a virgin and you don't drink, you still have hops. Mm hmm. Like that's the trade off. Mm hmm. Very green.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Yeah. So he's, he might be doing like a smoke screen thing. Like you see in the NFL draft where he's just like telling these girls that he really likes them. He's going to pick them at the end, but he has no intention of doing it. He's going to just trade all his first round picks. Yeah. To the Raiders.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Yeah. Just, just for a hand job. Right. Okay. I don't hate that theory. There's the girl that all the girls were trying to, well, I'm trying to fill you guys out. I was just making sure.
Starting point is 00:18:16 The other girls tried to warrant, warrant Colton about Cassie. He didn't listen to her and then it backfired on. Mm hmm. Classic. Okay. So who's left? Ah, I don't know. Cassie, Tayshaya.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Wait. Is Colton allowed back? I feel like if you, if you leave the grounds, I don't know, he told the girl, he told the girl he loved her was going to pick her and she said, no, and there's still another episode where he has to pick someone else. They're doing the whole, the producers are doing like, if you love someone, set them free. Maybe the girl just attacked and it was meant to be.
Starting point is 00:18:47 And that's why he ran away. Yucky. I don't want this. He's like gross. Kooties. Get out of here. All right, Hank. Hot seat, cool throne.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Give it to us. My hot seat is our good friend, Larry, the bus driver. Mm hmm. Larry the goldfish is doing great. Yeah. Still longest living Larry, the goldfish ever. Yep. Officially.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Well, in our captivity. Yeah. In our care. It isn't even in our care. So Larry the bus driver, for those that don't remember, he was the guy that was hired to drive the Barcelona RV with us down to Atlanta. He was a bit of a character. We had him on the show.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Over the weekend, he got a Twitter, which is basically as big as I'd said earlier. It's basically Creed Thoughts. Mm hmm. Guy's like 65 years old from the Bronx. Yeah, even for the internet. It's quite shocking. Last weekend, he put out a tweet that said, I went to the Borgata for the Saturday tournament. I bombed out $400 buy-in, then I sat down to a one no-limit game.
Starting point is 00:19:36 However, the rounders did not like my loose play. When they started busting my balls, I invited him to the parking lot. He called the floor supervisor to have me removed. Larry loose play. So he just got kicked out of a casino. He said, catch me outside. Yeah. Then today, he tweeted out a picture of someone's body.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Mm hmm. I think it's his wife's body. It's his wife's body. His wife's body bent over in the baths sitting on him now. And all he wrote was, help him trapped. Yeah. It's safe for work kind of because I don't think that you see any butt crack or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Good job, Larry. His wife pinning him down. So Larry, Larry would literally be the hot seat. He wouldn't be on the hot seat. His wife would be on the hot seat. Still in that tub. Yeah. It's quite, it is, it is like a William Howard Taft situation.
Starting point is 00:20:23 It is not going out of that tub anytime soon. It is jarring, jarring, jarring. So I guess it's the lesson here is don't ever let your bus drivers get Twitter, right? Yeah. I guess. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be bus drivers with Twitter accounts. Well, it's more just that he said help him trapped. I just assumed he was trapped.
Starting point is 00:20:41 He still is trapped. I don't know if he's, that's what I'm saying. That's why I put him on the hot seat. Okay, so it was. Just because he's trapped. Actually like a call for help. Yeah. All right, somebody call 911 and say, yeah, hello operator.
Starting point is 00:20:51 There's an old bus driver that's fucking in a bathtub somewhere and he's probably not going to be get out. Yeah. I hope, I hope you, I hope you run, run in Larry soon. Oh, I have a feeling this is not the last chapter of Larry the bus driver, Hank. Oh, and then my cool throne is the iron throne would be disavowing very soon. Yes. The iron throne.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Okay. Go on. We'll get into it later with the Game of Thrones talk, but you know, everyone's talking about the iron throne. Who's going to sit on it? What's going to happen to it? So what happens when you sit on the iron throne? You become the king.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Yeah. That's a good name for a toilet. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to watch the Game of Thrones trailer in the segments portion of the show. I'm going to. Nope. No, no, do it.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Do it. No, you're not. I'm going to try. Do it. No, you're not. Is that it, Hank? I basically have to watch all six seasons this weekend. It's possible.
Starting point is 00:21:39 It's doable. You're not going to do it. You should do it. I'm going to try. Maybe. Now, how does one go about doing that? You have to have like an HBO Go account? Yeah, I'm not poor.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Okay. Can you share that with me? Sure. Your password? Absolutely. Thank you. Got you. My hot seat.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Start season three. My hot. My hot seat is porn. Oh, because of Larry the bus driver? The United Kingdom is requiring porn sites to have logins where you enter your name and password to verify your age before watching porn on such popular sites as Pornhub and you porn. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:22:14 Yeah. So it sounds like the start to the worst episode of Black Mirror ever. This is terrible. Where you just like every, the government is going to eventually have a database of your passwords and your email addresses, what videos you've watched. I'm very long woken on the fact that eventually all of our porn history is going to come out. Yeah, I mean in 10 years you're going to know what kind of porn your president watches. I don't think that's a problem though.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I think for some people, no, it actually will break down a lot of barriers. You know what I mean? Because people, I feel like people across the aisle, across different, you know, backgrounds, whatever, they'll be like, hey, but we like the same, you know, we like, we both like double teaming. Mm-hmm. You know, like, oh, that's cool. Porn's the great equalizer.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Yeah. Like you get Yankees and Red Sox fans being like, hey, we watch the same Heather Brooke compilation. Yeah, look. Boys, fans and Eagles fans. We're not. Come flight to get panked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Exactly. But yeah, so I guess like, it's weird though, because in the United States you have to log in to or verify your age to even go to a website that talks about beer. Like every beer. Oh yeah. Every beer website. If you want to look at beer in America. True.
Starting point is 00:23:22 You have to verify your age, but you don't have to verify porn. And in England, it's like, yeah, anybody can drink a beer as long as you're old enough to like lose an adult tooth. Mm-hmm. Which is like two. Which is like two for them over in England, but you still have to like verify your age when you want to look at somebody naked. So that's why the country's repressed.
Starting point is 00:23:38 That's why they lose their shit over like looking at Pippa Middleton's dress. Yeah. Her tiny butt in a dress is like, wow, holy crap, look at that. This is hot. Because you don't have access to all the hot anal stuff that we do. Right. So we're desensitized. So that's my first hot seat.
Starting point is 00:23:55 My other hot seat is a Count of Monte Cristo. You tell. Because he has been officially replaced on the all-time grudge power rankings by the city of New Orleans. Is that on a movie? What is that? It's on a movie, the Count of Monte Cristo. It's the most legendary tale of revenge of all time.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Oh, I knew that. Consult your local sparknotes. But so New Orleans has been doing Mardi Gras this week, and today's actually Fat Tuesday. And they have had numerous... Why'd you look at me? Numerous... Every Tuesday's. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:24 They've had numerous floats dedicated to just slamming Roger Cadela. It's awesome. The Blind Referees. They've had... I saw one nude Roger Cadela with a tiny little dick like that Trump statue. Yep. They're the only city in America that can do this. Like, they...
Starting point is 00:24:39 I was against the grudge for a little bit. I was like, hey, get over it. We still got the Super Bowl coming up. But as soon as I watched what New Orleans can cook up, they're the only ones that can hold a grudge like this. It's fantastic. Yes, I agree. And I think...
Starting point is 00:24:52 So I did a little bit of research here. I looked up on The New York Times, they had an article of how to get over grudges. And they said, the best way to get past a grudge is to talk about your feelings. And that's all they do in New Orleans ever. But their feelings are just like, I'm excited that I'm hungry, or I'm happy that I'm drunk, or I'm pissed off at Roger Cadela. Full from beignets. Full from the beignets and the hurricanes.
Starting point is 00:25:18 The drink, obviously, I'm talking about there. So I think they're actually handling this in a very good way, a very productive way. My cool throne is Swag Kelly, because he just pled not guilty to getting his ass kicked by a vacuum cleaner. So he's on trial, not guilty in America. You're innocent until you're proven guilty. So Swag Kelly is officially innocent for now. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Vindication. Vindication last. Spelled SWAG today. Are you getting on? I had one more. Okay. One more cool throne. Made on us.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Oreos. One more time. Because Quinn and Williams, the defense tackle, the guy that ran the 40 in 4.86 seconds, said that his breakfast before he ran that 40 was four double stuffed Oreos. Fuck yes. Breakfast of champions. I'm going to try that out. Three technique Oreos is what I call it.
Starting point is 00:26:04 I'm going to try that out. Yeah, I'm going to try that out. All right. My hot seat is the New York Giants. So they cut, sorry, they won't franchise Tagland and Collins. They're going to let him walk. The guy who's 25 years old, made three pro bowls seems to be like the heart of the locker room.
Starting point is 00:26:22 So the Giants are letting him walk. And essentially, I think the Giants plan is to just keep paying Eli forever. And that's it. Yeah. He was at Mardi Gras too. I don't understand what the Giants are doing. I'm sure we're going to get them in quote out of it, but I don't understand. Get them in is just saying you don't let the horse out of the barn until he's done
Starting point is 00:26:38 with his supper. This is one of those weird things where like everyone, you know, judging off of Twitter and Giants fans, like everyone is saying, what, what's going on here? Why are we doing this? Because Eli Manning is still a Super Bowl winning quarterback. It's crazy. It is crazy. So Landon Collins is going to be a free agent.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's a big free agent class. So Landon Collins and Tony O'Brown also hot seats across the board for safeties. Yeah. Because every safety is getting released. Eric Guettel. Safety market is hot, hot, hot right now. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:27:09 All right. My cool throne. I got two. I got two because Mark Trussman is back and I'm going to root for Mark Trussman because he's not, he doesn't affect my life anymore. I'm going to root for him. He released a video that was, I mean, if you're a Tampa Bay XFL fan and you aren't running through a brick wall, play this video real quick.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Hi, I'm Mark Trussman, new head coach of the Tampa Bay franchise of the XFL. I'm excited to be here in Tampa and we're ready to get started. That's chills. It's chills. It was absolutely chills. If you're listening to it, you should go watch the video of it because he looks like an alpha. Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:47 He is. It's chills. He has that look where it's like, he kind of looks like Tom Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder except with a full head of hair. Yes. He's, I'm actually, I'm mildly excited to see if Mark Trussman can be successful in the XFL because it seems like the XFL is going to be very offensive heavy and I'm going to enjoy that.
Starting point is 00:28:05 That's what Mark Trussman does. Yes. Scores points. Offense baby. All right. So, I decided that I'm going to take the Virginia Cavaliers for real. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:19 So, even though they're going to score 50 points. I'm guaranteeing an elite eight appearance. Okay. Why is that? Did you hear that? Because, because Rick Petino. Well, no, because they'll get a one seed and I think Duke will get a one seed and the only team that can beat him is Duke.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Okay. I know what you're doing. You saw Rick Petino tweet out the other day. There are a lot of good teams. They're all up in there, but the only team that's guaranteed to be in there in the final four is UVS. He said that? Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:44 I did not see that. Yeah. I'm going based off of going to the carrier dome, having Syracuse give them everything they had and just absolutely demolishing them in the second half. Virginia, I am taking you for real. People will remember 2016, I basically won a national title for Villanova, so don't take this lightly. Virginia Cavaliers, all you people in Charlottesville, you find people in Charlottesville.
Starting point is 00:29:08 I'm on your train, are you saying, did you say there are many fine people in Charlottesville? Many fine people in Charlottesville. That's a problem. I am on your train until Chris Long. You probably won't hear this because you're in Kilimanjaro, just hiking up mountains and being better than everyone else, but I am officially going to say that Virginia Cavaliers is there for real. I'm not going to make fun of them.
Starting point is 00:29:25 I'm going to disagree with you. The Harvard of the South is not in a position to win anything this post season. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for it. Are you going to be betting overs in the Cavaliers game? No. That's a bridge too far. You know what?
Starting point is 00:29:39 Stick into the blackouts. They're going to lose and I'm going to take the over for the Cavaliers in every single game. They'll only play one. They'll lose to a 16 seed. No, actually, we should hammer them against a 16 seed. You don't think they will take it so seriously and they will like, that's a game that they will have to win by like 40.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I'm a big trends guy. They can't ever be losing in that game. I'm a big trends guy. Right now, in their last one, the Cavaliers are 0 for 1 against 16 seeds. All right. Let's get to our interview with our friend Adam Schefter, formerly P-Boy, now P-Man. Before we do that, Roman, every guy wants to last longer, but thinking about baseball doesn't always work.
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Starting point is 00:33:08 Here he is. Adam Schefter. Okay. We now welcome on recurring guest Adam Schefter. Recurring. I like recurring. Second time you have a podcast that you changed the name. What was the name of it?
Starting point is 00:33:22 It was such a bad name when you first debuted it. I think it was initially Up and Atom. And was it Up and Atom? It was Know Them From Adam. Know Them From Adam. I was going to say Up and Atom. It was Know Them From Adam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:35 What is Know Them From Adam? I go back to what we were going to call my column in college and it was Up and Atom where the chef specialty or Know Them From Adam and so I guess it was Know Them From Adam and it was so memorable that I don't even remember the name of what it was. Oh my God. So what is it now? Now it was, we got a bunch of ESPN executives in a room together and we spent a full week in brainstorming to come up with something and at the end of three days of arduous meetings
Starting point is 00:34:05 and much debate and contention we went with the Adam Schefter podcast. That's genius. That's genius. What does Know Them From Adam even mean? I remember I saw it. It was so cool, right? I was doing it on the expression, I mean how many times people say it to me, I don't know him from Adam and you know I don't know him from Adam.
Starting point is 00:34:21 No, that's definitely. Kids don't say that anymore. Not a cool phrase. Not well enough, yeah. But okay, so the Adam Schefter podcast, good name. Thank you. It's good to have you back on. As a recurring guest.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Yeah, you are, since the last time you were on you have graduated from P-Boy to Uren Man. Well, hold on. If the Jets win four games, why is there any Uren associated with my name at all? I mean Uren is going to stick around no matter what. You had to pee that one time. It's a fair point. I can't get that. You didn't even have to pee.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Are you the guy? Does he pee all over himself? Yes. Okay, so why am I the Uren man or the P-Boy or whatever? Well, we talked about Mel Kuiper not peeing, and so I just assumed deductive reasoning that you would pee. Is that the origins of that nickname? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Well, listen, those are the facts. The man never went to the bathroom, so you could have called me poop boy too. Yeah, I'm sure you're everything. With Mel Kuiper that he just has one hole like a bird and it's just pee and poop out of the same one. Like a bird. Yeah, good, confirmed. And he's got a mane of hair like a bird, right?
Starting point is 00:35:18 Like a cockatoo. Yeah, you know what? I actually noticed this year Mel Kuiper's hair is back to looking like he's got that poof going again now that he's an indie. It's like the wind picked him back up again. Last year it started to droop a little bit. It was like that thin and black fish. Was it black fin?
Starting point is 00:35:34 Oh, I didn't watch that movie, Depress Me Too. Yeah, the one about the orc whale, the dorsal fin started to droop, but this year I feel like he's back, he's ready to go. It could be the hair product he's using. Yes. Yeah, I could switch it up. So, all right, so you're good, you're in man, you've graduated, I won't give you a hard time about that, but there is two things that we do have to give you a hard time about.
Starting point is 00:35:54 We'll get it out of the way. I demand the desk tape and I also demand, I demand the other name of the person in the craft, Sting. Well first of all, I think, didn't we address the desk tape? We might have, but I still demand it. I would just say roll back the tape. What do we say? You probably said it exists, but it will probably never get out and I said, well, sir, I demand
Starting point is 00:36:16 satisfaction. I would like to see the desk tape. Well, okay, I mean, so we may never see it. That's what I would say. I would guess we'll never see it. But you realize like every time, like if we, you know, both live for another 40 years, every single time I see you, I will say, where's the desk tape, Shifty? And I will say to you, look, if it was going to exist, big cat, it'd be out there.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Okay. And then the second name, the desk tape is like Bigfoot. Yeah. So it doesn't exist then. Yes. Well, does Bigfoot exist? Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:51 So there you go. And then what about the second name? We need the second name, the big name. Well, Sting operation. Well, first of all, you know, what's interesting about that is that, uh, wasn't John Havens, who was second in command at Citigroup, a big name, like I had people from CNBC, I could show you the text texting me, can you, I mean, literally, I could read it to you right now. John Havens was caught in the sting.
Starting point is 00:37:12 He ran sales and trading for Morgan Stanley was the number two at Citigroup. How can people destroy their lives? Okay. But hold on. The thing about that is hedge fund billionaires. Nobody really cares about that. So you want big names in the world of sports. How do you know that there wasn't one in politics like it doesn't have to be sports?
Starting point is 00:37:28 Just anything besides that guy's job that you just mentioned, yeah, that's like you want a non-financial guy. Yes. Anything but that. Again, I don't have the name. I don't have the name because I was not given the name. And again, maybe I should have framed it a little differently because the story took on a life of its own.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Yeah. Right. And I just said, there are people down there telling me, now there are people who tell you things that sometimes come to be and sometimes don't. So actually, I brought it up because I wanted to ask a real question about how your day-to-day, like when you present the news and we present a story, it kind of goes from you presenting it to then obviously it gets, you know, it's a life of its own. It's run on all the programs, NFL Live, Sports Center, all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Do you ever get worried that like your story will almost take a turn where it's like, wait, that's not really what I meant. And now it's become this big thing. Well, it happens often where you're talking and you'll say something. I can't give you any examples, but it does happen where you'll be talking. Schefter says, big cats being trained. Well, I didn't really say that, you know, and if I was saying that, I would tweet it or I would follow it to ESPN.com for the bottom line or it would be on ESPN.com.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Right. And when I was going to report, I'd do that. We're on TV, we're talking a lot. Much of it is informed speculation, much of it is stuff you're hearing. Just throwing shit out there. Well, sort of, you don't just do that. It's a tightrope because you're breaking news sometimes and then sometimes you're giving opinions.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Informed. I'm not an opinion guy. No, but if you're sitting on NFL Live, someone might say, hey, like, what do you think about this? And it's like, well, I hear, I'm hearing some things in this thing. Yes. I try to base as much of what I say off of fact and what I'm being told. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It's like, I'm only as informed as the people I'm talking to. Yeah. It's interesting because you obviously do have opinions somewhere deep inside that onion somewhere deep down inside. I'm not that opinionated guy though. I'm really not. Really? So if I were to ask you right now, who the best quarterback of all time in the NFL is,
Starting point is 00:39:36 you obviously have an opinion on that. Would you care to share? The best quarterback of all time would be Tom Brady. Okay. That'd be my opinion. Have you backed that up with sources? Yeah. Well, I would back it up with facts.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Okay. The facts are, he's won six soup bowls. I do have two sources that have confirmed that Tom Brady is the best quarterback of all time. My left time, my right. Oh, there you go. I was waiting for that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:59 There we go. Speaking of sourcing, how pissed off were you at us when we broke the Mike McCarthy story? I was furious about him berating Raths. Oh, he got five. You know, hold on. Yeah. Can I get to you?
Starting point is 00:40:10 You know. I credited big J's. After the fact. Yes. After the fact. It took you a good 30 minutes. After we buzzed your tower. Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:40:18 We buzzed your tower. Yeah. We got you. We started to get some flack from not crediting it. Yeah. Okay. Hat tip to these guys. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Allow me to give you the proper respect and props that you deserve for. That sucks so probably for you when we, when like we just stumble into something like that. Like we're idiots. And we nailed it too. I mean, we had Joe Philvin taken over. It was one of the guys named Sledge. Sledge.
Starting point is 00:40:41 The slug. The slug on my source. Yeah. DM'd an anonymous DM on Twitter. Well, listen, the slug got you. That's slug. I never liked that slug. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:40:54 It's a wash pit of news and information. It comes out. I like that. And what was your exact wording on the tweet? Do you have the exact tweet? You worded it very carefully. I believe it was according to sources per sources. Mike McCarthy could be relieved of his duties as early as this week.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Expect Joe Philvin to fill in for him. Nailed that part. So I want to say something using that could word that you used. Yeah. Yeah. Antonio Brown could be traded in the next few weeks. Yup. Antonio Brown could be traded in these weeks.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Legally. Harder. So when he gets traded, I want you to credit me. Okay. Here's the exact wording Hank just handed it to me. Sources close to part of my take have informed us that Packers head coach Mike McCarthy will be relieved of his coaching duties with an announcement coming as early as this week. Please.
Starting point is 00:41:39 That is cut and dried. Please. Cut and dry. Please credit part of my take if this happens. That's that's cut and dried. That is. 50. That's outstanding.
Starting point is 00:41:47 That is. That is big journalism right there. Sources are also indicating Joe Philvin is in consideration for the interim position. How'd that go? Also fact. Nailed it. Yeah. Also fact.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Joe Philvin? Yeah. He got the interim job. He got the interim job. So we were just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:05 I think before the metaphor. Got it. Got it. Was there steam coming out of both ears when we tweeted that? Yeah. It took me a long time to calm down. You pound your phones. A long time.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Yeah. What do you do? There was steam coming out of the phones. There was steam coming out of my ears. I'd imagine you stomp around. Yup. That too. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah. 24 hour stretch. Slug. Slug. Gotcha. I mean Karma ended up getting me too because the very next day we got another source coming into the DMs that gave us some really bad information about a college transfer and I was feeling that high of breaking news which I'm sure you basically live in a state of just you get that euphoria
Starting point is 00:42:38 that's serotonin. I don't live in that high. You know. Always breaking news. And so I was like I got. I'm on a roll and so I just broke a story that was completely wildly incorrect 12 hours later. And what happened about that?
Starting point is 00:42:49 I got burned. Yeah. Burned by my source. We stopped. Did anybody say anything about that? Did like the J get flipped around upside down or anything? Not really. Because I can always just say it's satire when I fuck something up.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Nice. I'm going to try that life sometime. Yeah. You should. No you did. You did speaking of that like rush on HBO Real Sports you said I was actually worried about you because that interview you were like it is what I wrote down the quote. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:14 You said something like wait a few things in life are more satisfying than a big story. And you said you're addicted to it. You got a you got a story addiction you got a story problem problem stories and then you so name the things in life that are more satisfying than breaking a big story. More satisfying. Yeah. Break a big story. And don't say like don't be like oh my kids being a father like yeah that is true.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Yeah. No don't be that. Yeah. It was something that's like tangible that other people can like I don't know. I don't know. I was going to say dunking a basketball. Have you ever dunked. Never.
Starting point is 00:43:53 No. That would be a shocker. So sex. Yeah. Probably better or worse. Yeah. That's more satisfying. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:02 A good slice of pizza. I will say this to you. Hold on. Me and my buddy every Thursday night you told us yeah you didn't tell us it's on air but yeah. Every Thursday night after being in Bristol all day we would stop at the same pizzeria every single Thursday night. I love that.
Starting point is 00:44:22 And that is more satisfying than we would walk in there at like eight thirty nine o'clock. Yeah. And I would scarf down four slices. It was not one bite everybody. It was all bites. Wait. Do you still do it. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Okay. Because I love that. I love little traditions like that. Those are the best. Oh my God. And there was something just so refreshing. Right. About your Thursday night pizza.
Starting point is 00:44:44 There you go. So it's something so satisfying about your Thursday night pizza walking in and just scarf stuff it in your face. Nailed the whole day. Yeah. Whether you nailed it or not you finished the day. Okay. The happy ending.
Starting point is 00:44:57 All right. So the other part of that story talking about how you're addicted to it. Do you think the addiction like when is it it's not it's not like an addiction. It's okay to say it. It's just sort of it's what it's your livelihood. It's a high. Right. It's like we live in a very similar you know spot where when we're doing content and we're
Starting point is 00:45:15 doing stuff like we'll do a big interview with you know John Harbaugh and you get done and then we get done and it's like that was awesome and then 20 minutes later we're like all right what's next. Correct. It's 100% the feeling. Right. So you have the 20 minutes where if you got I don't think it's 20 minutes. It's well maybe it is 20 minutes feels good dig your job did it the right way on to the
Starting point is 00:45:37 next thing. Right. What's the longest you've ever gone without breaking a story. I have great question. Do you want to know. I'm sure you guys have the stats right. No we don't. We don't.
Starting point is 00:45:48 We can have ESPN stats and research. Oh wait. No I do have it right here. I was kidding. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I was waiting. I was waiting for the curve ball the punch line.
Starting point is 00:45:57 There we go. I'm actually curious. Like do you get antsy if you if you've gone you know three four five days without putting anything meaningful out. I don't think you think like that. I just think you know when you've had a successful day of working you know when you've had an unsuccessful day you know when you've had a good podcast or one that floating you know when you haven't and you know that if you don't have one then hopefully tomorrow will
Starting point is 00:46:19 be better and and I mean honestly you guys are good enough for what you do that I'm sure there'll be ones like mine that stink and there'll be ones that are better and the better ones will come along and the better ones will outnumber the flat ones. So at what point though like will you think there will be a point in the future where you'd be like you know what I'm going to step back from breaking stories all the time. Well like that it's actually I'm actually kind of looking in the mirror right now like we're actually having almost a therapy session here like hey when do we walk away you know right yeah okay yeah we will be able to walk away I will say this the world that we live
Starting point is 00:46:53 in right it is more demanding than ever before I had this conversation with somebody this week about this where you at least I feel this way I bet you feel this you just feel like you just never get away from it right it just it's a part of you it's what you do and you love it like ESPN said to me look you're going to take some time off after the Super Bowl and I said great and then after the Super Bowl Antonio Brown went crazy on social media Collin Murray the side he's going to play in the NFL Kareem Hunt signed with the Browns Joe Flack have got traded to the Broncos Robert Kraft was in South Florida and it was something every single day and the thing about today is is everything is big
Starting point is 00:47:38 everything is important everything carry that day at the same time it's not and then so it's like okay well can you come on and do NFL live okay we'll do NFL live what can you do the six sports now the late shows now and it just becomes every day and it just feels like right yeah it just you never get away do you love it back back in the newspaper day the analogy that I used was I always felt like when I was working for the Rocky Mountain News and never post and and I loved having spent 16 years on an NFL football beat for a newspaper because it was just blue collar every day for 16 years you'd file two three stories every single day because there was that appetite for football the NFL in the
Starting point is 00:48:21 Colorado area mm-hmm and you follow the stories and as soon as you get in the sports I would go okay well what are we doing for Sunday and it's like well I just filed you three stories today that I busted my butt on and now you want to know what we're doing Sunday and it goes yeah we gotta figure out what we're doing for Friday also yeah and it was like telling somebody to go to the waves at the beach and go stop the wave from coming in yeah and go stop the next week and I thought that was a pretty good analogy back in the day but somebody that I know one of my friends came with a better one he said it's like being in the batting cage with the pitch is coming yeah and they just keep coming yeah hit it hit it hit it hit it hit it and they never
Starting point is 00:49:00 stop coming and so that's the role we live in and I'm incredibly blessed and fortunate to do what I do I love what I do but that doesn't mean that it doesn't become overwhelming and draining and all-encompassing at times right right right same thing with you guys yeah no you you basically described me I love my job like I love it I think I have the best job in the world but there are absolutely moments where I'm like like man can I just come up for air or just like all right we got to figure out the next guy the next guy like the next thing and it's weighing on your mind all the time you know what sucks is we took our one vacation last year where we it was like around the 4th of July yeah and we were both out of the country you know enjoying a little bit of time off
Starting point is 00:49:38 and that's when LeBron James decided he was going to be a Laker and we're like shit I'm never taking another vacation again yeah my wife and I have gone away in the last five six seven years one time it was our 10-year wedding anniversary we were going to Nantucket for two nights we were we got on to Nantucket the island it was like one o'clock in the afternoon it was a Friday it would have been June 22nd two years ago we sit down to have lunch my cell phone goes off that John Dorsey is being fired as the general manager of the chiefs okay there yeah next six hours on the phone from Nantucket that Friday night in Nantucket no not great no not a good no not a good all right so we now sound like complainers because there's probably people listening and no no but I like to say
Starting point is 00:50:24 we do have the best job we do but it is it's real we're not complaining we're not complaining right we're explaining it's a real conversation we're explaining so to you like a vacation is you just take one of your phones you're like I'm leaving the other one at home right no you know I'll say this do you have a different use one of my phones two different no two different um providers one of them I I keep I don't get cell reception here at all I don't know what's going on it's driving it's driving nuts you should get a pager that would be fucking badass if you walk around hold on hold on hold on hold on Antonio and Antonio Brown just got traded yeah right okay you're trying to we know when the league day start when the league uh league year well you
Starting point is 00:51:00 still agree you could in principle but I mean nothing's final until early March was it like March March 13th what about what about a pager though I feel like a pager and maybe an earring was just really like 1994 yeah but that that would intimidate your like if you think Ian Rapport sees Adam Scheffer with a pager and two phones he's like wait what am I missing he I guarantee you got CB my car to buy a pager the next day yeah he'd be like this this is crazy like who's who's paging him and you'd be like well you never know and then that that's how you dominate that's so you get in the head of the opponent I like the earring idea too yeah that's just boss yeah just maybe a little like Barry Bond's earring situation across yeah you imagine if you showed up on NFL live with that that would
Starting point is 00:51:46 be pretty cool or Morgan Freeman like uh or who has the hoops Michael Jordan well somebody know I was doing sports center yesterday and and L Duncan they were doing the Jeff Darlington interview with Antonio Brown and talking to him and she goes and now a man who I don't think will ever grow a blonde mustache Adam Schefter so how do you know I won't grow a blonde mustache yeah yeah you know I won't don't box me in like you look like you could grow a little bit of a beard oh they when I worked in NFL network my nickname was Teen Wolf okay so let's get it back was it real why do I want to know why because it was a joke that I would need to shave two three times yeah you do have a nice yeah but you should grow a beard back I shaved an hour ago
Starting point is 00:52:20 I could I could get a beard like yours don't you grow one you know actually it's funny you should say that I was in Minnesota two weeks ago to do my first NBA game of the year and I hadn't shaved in three days and I was all scruffy and I said to myself oh I got an idea oh this is gonna be great it was the Rockets and Timberwolves I'm not gonna shave hmm James Harden's gonna score 30 plus again for the 30th straight time yep he's gonna be the post-game interview I'm gonna ask him about the game I'm gonna ask him about the record and then my closing question Tim on three questions was gonna be and what pointers can you give me beard for growing the beard right yeah and so Joe Flacco got traded to Joe Flacco got traded to every story this enemy every Adam Schefter
Starting point is 00:53:05 like so I was here and then so Joe Flacco gets traded to Denver I gotta go do live TV and one of my bosses calls me goes what's going on with the beard and I go yeah I'm growing it for tonight he goes yeah lose it it looks terrible I'm like wait I don't know the beard was gonna be for the beard he goes yeah you you really look awful I do like that idea that that like NBA Adam has a beard yeah and NFL Adam is totally different guys yeah NBA NBA Adam I had a purple sport jacket and a purple tie no way oh yeah I want to cut loose a little bit I wore it to the Cleveland Cavaliers game last year I did a Friday night game was the Cavaliers versus the Pelicans and and I wore it and I got a call from my wife what are you wearing I said yeah I'm just
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm keeping up with the NBA honey yeah and she wasn't very unimpressed what's the motive behind the NBA you just love the NBA I love I it's like the old Campbell's some guys taking everything wait hold on do you what's your hobby gambling okay right exactly yeah you make big bets big wagers right mm-hmm what's your hobby pft I guess I play guitar okay I don't gamble I don't play guitar but I love fantasy basketball okay basketball love to the point where again like a few years ago I hadn't watched an NBA game since I was in high school and it was at the end of the season I'm like oh let me let me do an NBA daily fantasy game and I'm like wow this is pretty cool my wife walked into the bedroom the first night she sees me watch her basketball doesn't think anything of it
Starting point is 00:54:39 second night does the same thing a little bit more curious third night she walks in she's like since when do you watch the NBA like I started smoking cigarettes yeah right right I said now and it's become my hobby to the point where I lose sleep over my NBA fantasy lineup like I'm in an ESPN league it is fun getting close to the day or the or the year round both okay both yeah love yes beyond words so that's better than breaking a story winning your satisfying yes is winning yes that would that would qualify as something that is on that list absolutely like I won the champion I won the league last year oh wow and I'm gonna be in the playoffs this year yeah no one gives a shit and no one gives a shit except me that I'm trying to repeat and it means nothing
Starting point is 00:55:25 to anybody but it means everything to me yes it's so out of whack do you play fantasy football because I feel like you have a huge leg up on everybody no you know what every fancy league relies on your information true for their updates well we have fun we're in a 16 team ESPN league and it's me and Mort and Matthew Berry and our boss Seth Markman and Trey Wingo and Lewis Riddick and it Tim the Hassleback brothers it's so much fun Rex Ryan last year was in our league for the very first time and by the end of the year you know he's screaming at the TV at his player come on score the you know he's totally I said I love this because he's gonna be the first guy that goes back to coaching and feels his own fantasy lineup right and encourage it to like he's a fancy guy though
Starting point is 00:56:09 like rex he was not he is not addicted yeah he's now he got he got the hook in the vein he's a fancy baseball guy he loves fancy baseball loves and now now he he's come over to our side and is a fancy football guy and in our league I mean I'll say this you begin to you know your thinking begins to change like there was a year I was sitting at my kitchen table and I get a text that the Browns are trading Trent Richardson to the Colts for a first time pick great trade my first thing is okay I gotta follow the story to the news desk as quick as I can I've got a posted on Twitter and I've got to go pick up Isaiah Crowell in fantasy because he just got a starting job in Cleveland whoever the hell to go over for the Browns yeah running back job that year and so
Starting point is 00:56:57 that's how your mind begins to think and and we have a fun time like you have you know there was one year where you know Tim Hassleback picked up Matt Hassleback at a time where we were wondering whether Matt Hassleback or and he knew yeah yeah yeah it's just it's brother's no brother's phone like more one year picked up Tim Tebow in the middle of the year I guess if you all are somewhat connected it's it kind of evens it out makes it fun everybody has knowledge and except really the whole goal the whole goal the whole goal of the league is just to make sure that you beat Matthew Barry that's it that's right yeah he's got a big target on his back yeah so there was some news that came out from ESPN yesterday about Jason Witton unretiring slash retiring
Starting point is 00:57:35 depending on the way you look at it were you pissed off that he didn't give you that scoop well we tried to get that scoop in December we reported that he wanted to come back and was going to come back but like he you know he was a teammate it was great the cowboy said it's not true right I mean that that's how these things work it's it's amazing listen he he's gonna do what's best for him I wasn't upset it was surprising like everybody else it was surprising just in the timing that because again you knew it went on at the end of last year despite the fact that he denied it it's not true yeah um he and honestly this was the best thing for him to do yeah like now the people that didn't like him as a broadcast they're happy
Starting point is 00:58:18 Dallas is thrilled yep it was it was it was a great move on his part it was a great move around yeah anytime there's there's news involving somebody at ESPN yeah is there you know is there like a code that you get upset with if they don't you know funnel that through the company through the mothership I don't think there's a code like that with anything with our company they do get sensitive like I remember getting a call in December that Jason was going back to the cowboys and I called some people I'm like hey I just want to give you a heads up and they're like okay just be careful like right when it's your people you go through your people just to make sure everyone's on the same page before you report anything whereas if it's not our people which 99% of the stories
Starting point is 00:58:59 are not our people they just trust you to do the right thing and report the right way but in a case like that you want to make sure that you are um on board with the people who yeah it's on your paycheck I guess yeah um what what's the one time that like a story that you've had to back down from and can you break it here yeah or just like walk back like you were maybe the facts weren't 100 because I watched that HBO real sports and you were talking about um I think it was the Tony Romo uh backstory but that happens all the time right where you were right but everyone was telling you hey why don't you back off like no pun intended but like you back off of this broken back story and you're like no no no I'm right even though Jason Garrett's saying that I'm wrong I'm right
Starting point is 00:59:44 has there been the reverse where it's like you thought for sure you were right and it ended up you were a little bit wrong well do you have an example no I don't know I'm asking no no no I expect you to come at me with no I'm not Adam you're giving us totally honestly yeah credit like having done our research in the end of the morning and that we're I expect that much of you yeah but it's the demands of the job they've gone to you yeah yeah I know exactly yeah back in the day you would have that information at your fingertips ready to throw at me yeah I bet the Washington Cal game and I was exactly 30 in the morning so that's neither here nor there you know what it just basically um comes down to the fact that I I more and more I'm amazed at how much
Starting point is 01:00:26 resistance there is to stories in this day and age like fake news it's it's amazing mm-hmm like there are multiple examples dangerous where Jason one's coming back that's not true right he did come back uh Randy Gregory he's gonna get he could be facing another suspension not true you're just haters so you're just doing the reverse of my question and telling us all the times you were right I know people throw and people like to know certain things people don't know the stories behind the stories like right when teams deny things yeah they have to probably deny it right and you're like okay that's pretty cool so you're basically like you're you're the omniscient narrator you know all no I don't know no but but that that's our job is to do the best
Starting point is 01:01:15 job we can like do you think you just come out with things and make things up right sometimes yeah because that's what we do because you hate my team that's literally what we do yeah which teams do you actually hate like which fans are definitely right when they say you're just putting this out there because you're a hater well you know honestly I think most fan bases are very strong and defensive of their own organizations like I mean you just pick a fan base the Saints they're pretty relaxed oh yeah they're very they're very chill about that defeat I mean they took that in stride no issues put up billboards in Atlanta I was thinking can you imagine if the Super Bowl had been in New Orleans this year oh could you imagine if Roger Goodell had
Starting point is 01:01:59 turned the machines back on and and did that clause was a clause 17 or something and said they have to come back and finish the game he was not gonna do that well it would play could you imagine you just did something that wasn't real and I did too that was great what do you think Roger Goodell does about the Bob Kraft thing that's gonna be interesting yeah because that's another fan base that historically does not shall we say get along well with Commissioner Goodell well I don't think it's gonna be Roger Goodell that does the things regarding Robert Kraft I think it's gonna be owners that do the things the fellow owners correct interesting yeah so how does that work is that how it works with jimmer say I think that's a dangerous precedent to like I I don't
Starting point is 01:02:42 know if Jerry Jones is gonna be the first person I like to be like suspended guy for getting a hand job because let he who right who is without saying cast the first stone right Roger Goodell his bosses are the owners right and I believe his bosses will ultimately decide so how the jimmer say situation is handled like because that's obviously the most you know analogous thing analogous analogous analogous thing to this because it happened very recently it was a crime maybe I mean I DUI is obviously probably who knows we're not gonna mention you know it's interesting at some point this out the other day that there's never been a player or coach or front office exact or owner discipline for solicitation in the NFL history never about the what about his name yeah in the Super Bowl
Starting point is 01:03:31 he was not punished he he'd live with the embarrassment of getting beat the next day by Rod Smith on a long play and the fact that you bring up his name here right and people think of him whenever there is some sort of issue the night before Super Bowl or unprecedented it is unprecedented now again just because nobody has ever been disciplined for solicitation I think that all these things a lot of these things happen pre personal conduct policy emergence in 2014 right when that became such a huge deal right and pre me too movement the world we live in is a totally different world even though there have been over time a group of people connected to the NFL who have been charged with solicitation it's never so we really have never seen a charge
Starting point is 01:04:15 like this at a time like this to have any idea to know how it's going to be handled and it's craft it's like there's a difference between craft and the other owners I would say you know there's there like craft and Jerry Jones what the league said everyone's gonna be treated equal I don't know like if any people but you can't you can't believe that hold on if there are another owner if there are another owner give me an owner like just I don't know say the owner of the Cardinals okay okay Michael Bibble McKenna one of them one of them were involved in this would it be as big a deal no right because I think they don't have six Super Bowl rings yes they're not the most that'll be quite a story yeah it would be like Martha Ford or Virginia McCaskey we're in a day spa it would
Starting point is 01:04:55 let's just say hypothetically Dan Snyder does it uh do you think he should be killed serious question though is Dan Snyder ever going to sell the Washington Redskins ever I think he loves that team too much to sell them damn it what's the next it's hard for you I'm gonna own the team one day I haven't figured out how well I dirt on them you just keep doing these podcasts you just keep building the empire you just keep letting the money roll I'll just $75,000 per show I'm gonna podcast my way into owning the red $75,000 per show how much do you make per show each each one makes $75,000 give us a big fucking check you know how much I make per each podcast what zero zero zero you got to come you got to start zero yeah well you got
Starting point is 01:05:34 you got to give me the your podcasting agents to I'll get you with my check guy yeah $75,000 so how many podcasts that's literally made up I hope you know that well I don't I actually kind of believed it with the success that you guys have had and if you're not getting that then I think that you need to go back to the bargaining table to get the $75,000 that'd be like you'd be getting paid like 20 million dollars a year each 225 a week times 52 I never stopped to do the math but you know what I'm thinking if I'm thinking if all these people on friends in Seinfeld are getting a million dollars an episode why no we just started $75,000 someone someone I think once asked me on Twitter how much I get paid per podcast like that's how it works would it does not work that
Starting point is 01:06:16 way and I think I said 75,000 and some people are like holy shit there's also there's a bunch of reports out there in these days like you see them in ad week about how much money podcasts are making and they throw these insane numbers out there and some people just assume that if we put a number like 75 it's like yeah but there can't be anybody making more the podcasting world in you guys uh Joe Rogan yeah Joe Rogan in a couple NPR shows and then by the way you guys knew that right away yeah I mean you gotta know your how much how much if I said to you there can't be anyone who's breaking all the news stories before you Adam Schefter you'd be like Ian Rappaport right like right like you always know who's head of you
Starting point is 01:06:55 always does that piss you off when he beats you by like three seconds because his thumbs are his his little thumbs are faster have you seen how medium my thumbs are yeah that's a hindrance to my wife my wife makes fun of me she's like how do you even type I wouldn't put a pass you to get surgery if you got thumb surgery to get thinner like they just become the uh the old uh palm pilot or bluetooth I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm going to get stylus pen I'm gonna get I'm gonna get plastic surgery on my thumb to turn them into stylus pens yeah that's a good idea yeah all right get one of those sidekicks you remember those that had the actual keyboard or blackberry yeah I hear they're bringing those back by the way the blackberries the actual keyboards I would love that
Starting point is 01:07:35 that would be I could I could literally write a whole story on a on a blackberry without looking down yeah it was like yeah yeah even with these me back in the day yeah the blackberry was best all right I got one last question uh seat geek question promo code take you get $10 off your seat geek purchase I do yeah oh great yeah that's I mean that's pretty nice seat geek promo code take uh rank your top four sources top four sources yeah Jerry Jones won how many owners do you have the cell phone numbers of I have to look through go ahead your phone's right there we're literally looking at your phone we have all the time in the world top four sources would be um uh I would say mort one
Starting point is 01:08:24 that doesn't count trey wingo two nope he's always high Matt Hassabek three yeah and teddy brusky four okay okay very good how many coaches do you have phone numbers of all of them that would say a pretty good number of them is there a coach that's not all of them is there a coach whose number you don't have that you've been trying to get and he just won't give you his name or his number well I was trying to get Mike McCarthy's number but sludge had it before I did yeah slug slug do you have Mike friebel's number we could play a game right yeah well I'm just trying to find one number I might have that you don't and I really just only have Mike friebel's number so that's the only one you have this is my only chance so this is gonna be our only guess yeah
Starting point is 01:09:03 to see Bruce Arians oh no we have coach Arbaugh's number no I've got yeah Bruce Arians um Doug Marrone let's go no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy and if you don't have okay you get that could be anybody I was gonna say if you don't have Mike friebel's number I'll trade you like one coach for one coach okay so okay that would have been nice damn it's okay all right that's my last question I really I really thought I had you there I have a question here and I'm reading it to myself and it sounds it looks mean it looks like a mean question do you want me to read it no I'm gonna yeah you have Hank read it Hank read it if it's really mean no it sounds mean but I think I I mean it so does that mean that I guess oh boy what's coming here PFT didn't ask this question
Starting point is 01:09:48 Hank did Hank can't even get close to the mic do you have any friends but I mean I mean that's Hank that's me in a way like you obviously work all the time yeah no wait hold on hold on that was fucked up yeah Hank come on be nice come on man like Hank a lot of your time to spend I assume either at work or with your family yeah do you have time for friends do you have any friends honestly yeah it's hard yeah it's hard do you guys have friends a couple yeah not really I think I think the older you get and the less time you have and the more you're with your family and your work I love my friends but there's not as much I don't spend as much time my friends as I once did just because
Starting point is 01:10:31 it's not because I don't love them but it's just hard and I don't mean to turn this into a brain grew and you no longer think imaginary friends are real no you know what like last night I was uh at a function talking to a group of college students and I have a buddy in town from college and he's gonna want to see it I'm like you know it's a tough week where you got four days here right and I get the CSP I said well why don't you come to this event so he came and so I spent I spent part of last night with a friend a college friend who I've known for 35 years there we go it was great to be with him but I don't get to do that very often right yeah so are we friends a hundred percent there we go so we're spending time with once back in the day we weren't friends no you
Starting point is 01:11:10 blocked me but now we are friends yep right come back around what did I do I think I donated to a charity did you do that where if you donate to a charity you you would unblock people I'm pretty sure you did that at some point uh no yes there was yeah and then I did the whole spin if Adam chef doesn't block me he hates cancer right or loves cancer why why did you block me it was either the p-boy or the des tape I can't remember there's a lot I tried to measure you up against the uh was was there anybody that you would that you went after more than me Revelle yeah Revelle easily yeah he deserves it you didn't deserve I don't think you deserved it as much as Revelle like I probably took some of my Revelle anger out on you unfair that happens
Starting point is 01:12:03 yeah I understand the other day you're you're a good guy yeah I'm chef I don't care what people say he's an okay guy we've come a week a long way yeah yeah it's nice it's nice um all right chef do you think if I were getting married today you you might be a groom's man whoa we're best because we're literally you don't have I don't have anybody else yeah you're no friend I appreciate that I appreciate more time with you than I have my friends yes yes um all right chef D thank you everyone listen because we are actually right after this we're going to tape about 15 minutes with shifter on his podcast it's coming out on monday I hope my podcast is good I may just have I want you on me on mine can I can I call that a snowball in the biz I have an idea
Starting point is 01:12:39 for your podcast we'll preview it real real quick you asked us a question and I'm going to save it for your podcast you asked us a question about the internet when we're in the lobby the other day and I want to do on your podcast you ask us questions about the internet and we just help you understand better understand twitter the other side of twitter the dark side the weird my wife left me let's do that oh the question I asked you yes we'll do that so tune in oh that's interesting podcast on monday that interview with adam shifter was brought to you guys by me on these I'm rocking my me on these right now they're super super comfortable I wear them every single day I've reached the point where I never have to wear a pair of underwear that isn't me on these
Starting point is 01:13:21 it's honestly the most comfortable my trunk has been in my entire life ask yourself this one important question is your underwear making you happy at this very moment or were you not even thinking about your underwear wouldn't you like to be wearing underwear that's so soft that you feel like you're making love to an actual cloud all day long well I've got one word for you me on these I'm always thinking about my underwear that's how good it feels buzzfeed said this about me on these nine times me on these were everything no that's not what they said they said they feel like actual heaven against your skin we're going to assume heaven is really soft in this context ask men finally a site where men can tell you their thoughts said they feel like silk drenched in
Starting point is 01:13:59 hand lotion these undies are so soft they made bob ross's voice sound like Gilbert godfried they're so soft Kenny G thinks about them when he gets in he thinks about them to get inspired to write his next song me on these uses the coveted micro modal fabric which is a full three times softer than cotton take that big cotton not only will you feel like your loins are being hugged by joy itself but me on these gives you multiple style options for both men and women choose between classic colors to adventurous prints prints like significant otters sounds chunky plant babies and shamrocks speaking of prints why not match your match your bottom half with your better half and get matching prints for you and your partner me on these is also the go
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Starting point is 01:15:24 second i had a little run in with a guy that we know we talked to about beards a lot name was Sean mcvay you know what the first thing he said to me was pft oh your beard is looking awesome literally literally the first thing that he said to me and you know why it's because i've been shaping up with dollar shave club dollar shave club has everything you need to get ready no matter what you're getting ready for they have you covered head to toe for your hair your skin your face you name it they have it and they have this new program where they automatically keep you stocked up on the products you use you determine what you want when you want it and it shows up right at your door from once a month to once every six months that's what i do for the toothpaste the
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Starting point is 01:16:48 get to some segments first up we have locker room talk with adam pacman jones so pacman jones was arrested in nevada for uh it apparently what he was essentially what i think was happening was he's playing table games at a casino and after he would win he would try to bet more he would yeah stack more chips onto his bet genius which is actually very good technique i've never heard blackjack i'm all in exactly no i was all in the whole time yeah right so he got arrested he got kicked out and while getting kicked out he said he'd fight everyone not good and he also said fuck you suck my dick your bunch of crackers he said suck my dick to the police officer correct after he was in custody and he tried to escape and got apprehended not a good look for a football player to get
Starting point is 01:17:37 tackled by a police officer he played seven games last year damn yeah that's pacman still around also it's bad when you when you're at the point of your career where the only time we remember that you're in the league is when you get arrested i mean that's kind of pacman jones it is yes it is yeah it's like yeah exactly so i also notice in the mugshot he's five foot eight so you're back five foot well no i'm five nine okay you're still doing that i'm just saying he he's got it yeah i'm five nine and negative i'm five nine and negative one eighths got it uh so who's back is being five foot eight fuck you kyler murray we don't need you um but as we said man jones yeah exactly as we said on this show jail is the ultimate man cave so you should be able to have locker room talk to
Starting point is 01:18:17 your heart's content in there well i really think pacman jones is at this point like jail is just totally normal it's been i feel like he's gotten arrested how many times ten times the well yeah about that and it's i maybe not ten listen getting arrested for like stacking your bets at a casino and spending the next like six months in jail is actually a good thing for pacman's offseason right because he can't get arrested for anything more serious right double jeopardy like that's a very very arrested right that's a that's a soft charge to take like good for him he's not going to steal anything this offseason he's not going to get any fights in any airports this offseason he's going to be under the watchful supervision of the uh with the the nevada clark county correction
Starting point is 01:18:59 yeah great show by the way uh all right let's do it everyone's been waiting for it it's the game of thrones trailer reveal i'm gonna try to watch game of thrones just gonna throw that out there you ready yeah are you ready here we go okay that's a face it's a woman's face she looks distraught oh no is she okay she's running down the hallway she's trying to skip the dire wolves i bet that's foreshadowing by the way pft many faces many face god it's not the brightness real quick so we can see it's very dark it's a whole show dark the santa maria the pinta and the oh this is tricky it comes out on april 14th right before
Starting point is 01:19:46 tax day masters no one's got anything done big castle is that the miller like there's no way no that's a course like pass with all the corn syrup these are the white walkers i assume there's a dragon two dragons they had gingers back then two dragons you don't have one starks the starks the whole family any relation to john stark why don't the dragons fight each other like if even if they're bros like growing up bro oh we got kissing and death swords oh incest cheese there was something in that wine glass for sure everyone's scared of the dragons dude this lady looks terrified i thought they all like the dragons are like crows why are they get scared when they see a dragon it's the first dragons that have been in westeros for 300 years
Starting point is 01:20:40 oh don't spoil it the little guy what's his name dinklage tirion yeah peter dinklage yeah i drink and no things now they're all lining up for battle and guess what a horse there's a horse is that the mountain is the mountain okay or did the bud night kill him the game of thrones final season april 14th that was a lecture imagine what a beta you have to be showing up to a battle on a horse and the other guys got a dragon yeah just go home dude just go home you brought you brought a horse to a dragon fight imagine being a white walker what if the white walkers had a dead zombie dragon on their team is that what happened wow well imagine being the white walker you're doing the trailer around the ice core at the office the following morning god damn it so uh are you excited
Starting point is 01:21:29 hank very excited no spoilers bro you should you guys should really i'm gonna try it's it's worth it it's you guys should try there was no sex intimated in this trailer well no i'm told that i'm told the series has sex did you see the wine glass thing she was like whoo oh they probably made this good fucking they probably made this season so that you were allowed to watch it in england yeah exactly no porn uh all right let's finish up before we get to guys on chicks we have talking soccer pft yeah so this is a hell of a story coming out of turkey uh in the turkish third division okay so there's a player who's under investigation his name is mansour solar solar he uh slashed players on the opposing team he had like a little blade that he hit in his hand
Starting point is 01:22:14 and so he there's footage of him going up to the opponent and just like kind of nicking him a little bit and you can see him that and then the players just like look down and they took pictures of themselves after the game and they all had it looked like knife wounds zoro yeah zora who's slashing z's i'm thinking that they just got the last boy scout uh movie in turkey and that's why this is going on that could be or they heard our idea about giving like one player on the team a knife during punt drills and so this is the future of football folks yes the only way to stop it if one guy has a knife is just give every soccer player a knife that would actually i would be okay with that if every player had a knife but you were only allowed to stab people using your feet on the knife
Starting point is 01:22:58 so like it's a it's a blade in your boot yeah if you could pick up your feet and then use your feet like you're like your foot fucking somebody and you're kicking them oh no you're holding it so you're not even playing soccer you're just knife you're just like hand yeah you're just hand-jobbing a knife you're hitting your foot-jobbing a knife right into your opponent i say that i say go for it but here's where it gets kind of interesting okay so the reason why he had the knife the blade and he's cutting stab his opponent was because he wanted to stab his opponents so a little plot damn record that one coming yeah well so if you really want to get into it the real reason he had the knife is because he's a dick yeah and he wanted to murder
Starting point is 01:23:36 people also a sports game yes but the real actual reason oh was he played on a Kurdish team and the other team was there i guess from central turkey and they played a bunch of nationalistic military videos before the game even started and so they that's politically sports he should have stuck to sports the whole time sports okay that was talking soccer uh before we do guys on chicks we said we bring this back let's play a real quick round of that are alive we haven't done this in a long time shout out to uh someone tweeted this at me oh is jay solar bear he tweeted me a dead or alive today that i got wrong that i thought was a great one so i'll start with mine jerry slone dead or alive slone's alive yeah he's still alive i saw i thought he was dead no 76
Starting point is 01:24:24 he thought he was the guy that that quit coaching like bare brian had a heart attack yeah i thought he was dead no he could have told me don nelson was dead too except he was like in you know those videos a couple months ago what about jerry west he's still alive that was a bad one yeah a bad one jerry slone he's open up to be the logo the only time i thought about or the only second that i thought after you said uh jerry slone i was like wait did they name that nerd conference in boston after him already because he died because he died uh my dead or alive is schrodinger's cat trick question trick question always alive my my real one actually we should name hanks cat schrodinger's cat no it's lebron okay um my real dead or alive lebron lebron middle name perfect
Starting point is 01:25:04 booty lockwood okay art garfunkel from simon and oh so you know paul simons alive so i think he's still alive alive bridge over trope yeah he's alive okay who i that wouldn't trip me up a minute i was like maybe we haven't heard from good old art for a long time he's been laying low all right hank you have one jerry west dead or alive oh that was all right bubba you have one you're gonna live forever he's a let's go bubba don zimmer don zimmer dead dead dead yeah he's dead wait bubba you don't know the answer no i don't know um 98 percent sure that he's dead yeah he died in 2014 okay yeah all right sorry to break the news uh all right hank go ahead hey band boys minus hank a while back i got the chance to meet big cat and ended up putting the picture on my bumble
Starting point is 01:25:58 to maybe find other awls however all of the responses i received now are for him and not me am i ugly or is big cat too hot for bumble to handle um should put it on grinder i bet you that there's a dummy big cat account on grinder i feel like that would should work eventually right just like a common like you're probably just gonna get a fat guy that's the problem yeah also you probably attract each other you're probably getting a lot of replies that just say suck my dick and you're thinking that they're harassing you right they're actually just doing the inside joke yeah stuff boys especially hank over the weekend a guy spent the night and was passed out in my bed until noon i left him in my bedroom and let him let himself out what's the
Starting point is 01:26:39 appropriate time to take the walk of shame that's awesome that's whenever you wake up yeah just don't fucking you know it's the weekend it's a sliding scale now you're saying that you went home with him at nine no he she she brought a guy her house and he slept till noon what time did he fall asleep though if you fell asleep at nine didn't does not say no no much i got so much respect for this no but that's that is a power move to just be like sleep till i mean i wonder someone's got right in and tell us how the latest you stayed at a one night stands place i'm i consulted emily post on this and she says she's the queen of etiquette hank uh she says that at least order some seamless to the house yeah and just treat everybody to launch he took after levy by the way i i hate to say this
Starting point is 01:27:27 to you because you seem like a nice woman he took the biggest fucking dump when you left like the biggest yeah hey pft hank and sub cute but chonk cat who chonk that's a good name i'll be taking the bar exam in july and shortly after everyone in my section from one l will be going to europe for about a month trip to celebrate the problem is my boyfriend can't get time off work to come with me the full time so he wants me to miss the first week of the trip so i'm not there alone without him what should i do am i being unreasonable for wanting to go the whole month now here's what you sue him you're you're becoming a lawyer put that shit to work immediately you file an injunction against him not wanting you to go over there just be like i won't i will not i won't fuck any dudes
Starting point is 01:28:14 and like just like in real world like it always works don't worry and as a lawyer you should know if you have your fingers crossed behind your back you don't actually have the contract is null yeah no actually real answer real answer he should he should trust you if you don't trust you get nothing right hank truth when you quit this show and did school scenes coming out friday check it out thanks for all the don't check it out bubba bleep that out we're boycotting it uh how do i tell boys that i'm not interested in them without being a bitch about it also i definitely already banged him if that changes your answer yeah interesting that changes things just a little bit i would say just tell me you have an std yeah yeah i would that's easy you know what that is actually the
Starting point is 01:28:56 easiest way to let a guy down if you're just like hey i got herpes i wouldn't guys like well i okay i'm well maybe i'll get no here here's the thing is we're dumb so just say it because otherwise he's gonna keep thinking he's got a chance if you're like oh i'm busy this weekend oh i'm like i'm not feeling well like if you keep subtly doing it he will not pick up on the hint so just say it it last one sub boys especially bubba so i've liked this guy for a while and we flirt but he's always had a girlfriend so i gave up on him i started dating another guy for the last few months that i don't like as much and i brought him home to my family so we're kind of exclusive slash we have sex now the other guy and his girlfriend broke up should i break up with
Starting point is 01:29:41 this current guy now how long do i have to wait until i pursue the guy i like i think the fact that you're writing into a podcast to ask our advice on it means that you definitely should break up or the fact that you said i'm dating this guy that i don't really like yeah that's such a mean you know what this is actually a great great thing even if you don't submit a question to guys on chicks just the act of writing out your question yeah you'll you'll end up telling yourself correct you really feel correct yeah so i think i think we did our part yeah and uh you should stay with this guy for a long time marry him have kids and then once the kids leave the house and you've stayed together and love his marriage get divorced and then go date this guy that's your
Starting point is 01:30:20 one true love yes especially if he's got a wife of his own that he can bring up their marriage yeah absolutely that everyone's world comes crashing maybe you introduce your husband that you don't love anymore to his wife that he doesn't love anymore and you just do the little switcheroo uh the heart wants what the heart wants so go for it all right that's our show we'll see everyone friday i think we have one of our favorite recurring guests uh also a total meathead and he's actually been looking weak recently has he he sent me the other day he sent me a new gym workout that i should try for my arms no i'd appreciate it so you can guess who that is he'll be here on friday love you guys
Starting point is 01:31:23 you you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah You

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