Pardon My Take - Baker Mayfield, NBA Trade Deadline, And The XFL

Episode Date: February 7, 2020

NBA Trade deadline actually delivered with some blockbuster trades. Andre Iguodola the finesse god, Deangelo Russell gets to hang out with his friend KAT, Andrew Wiggins is only 24, and Jahlil Okafor ...is now the most important trade piece in the league (2:37 - 14:27). Fyre Fest of the Week (14:27 - 23:05). Baker Mayfield joins the show to talk about his disappointing 2019, what he can do better, what we can do better, and how he can subtly roast Rex Ryan (23:05 - 44:22). Segments include way to stay relevant handball because the handball community is mad at us, XFL Preview, thoughts and prayers NFL, sabermetrics, and FAQ'sYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Baker Mayfield. We do a little PR 101 for what the Brown season was. We figure out our strategy going forward. We also have NBA trade deadline, a bunch of moves, maybe the craziest trade deadline ever. This league, well, Jinx by May Coke.
Starting point is 00:00:31 We have Firefest. We have XFL Preview. We have FAQs, a packed Friday show for you, and we were brought to you by the Cash App. Pardon my take, is always brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1. Hank, are you going to put some money in the stock market? Already did.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Where? What? All the markets. All just, which one? The off market as well? The off market. The market. Steel.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Steel market. Copper. Oil. Yeah, gold. It's always good to buy gold. What about WWE? Uh-huh. Hogs.
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Starting point is 00:02:19 You get $10 free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Friday, February 7th, and we have the NBA trade deadline. Huge news, massive breaking news, Miami Heat getting stronger. Andre Guadala, the finesse king of the world, somehow sat out for half the year and is now getting paid more. He got two years, $30 million at age 36. And to live in Miami. And to live in Miami.
Starting point is 00:02:46 And to live in Miami. That is, CJ McCollum, recurring guest actually said it perfectly. He was like, my guy got to promote his book, spend time with his family, get his mind right, and then get to move to Miami and get a shitload of money. Well, what's great is he was in Memphis, right? So he was getting paid under the Tennessee tax, which is no-state income tax. Now he's going to Florida, also no-state income tax. And Miami Heat are improving global warming.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Are you not worried about losing Justice Winslow? Not worried about that at all. He was never one of your favorites. No, I know. Justice Winslow, he was a carpet bagger, right? He was there. He never felt like he was part of that core group, like J-Butt. So I'm feeling good about moving forward.
Starting point is 00:03:25 But I actually do think that the Clippers got a lot better. And I hope that they keep Isaiah Thomas. I'm hearing that they might just let him go, which is a very NBA thing, is to just get somebody to be like, actually no. No, yeah. So the Clippers got Marcus Morris, which is going to be awesome when they go up against LeBron. I feel like he's one of those guys in the league who, there's no LeBron stopper, but
Starting point is 00:03:45 he's one of the guys who can make him a new one. He wants it. He wants it. He welcomes the challenge. He wants to annoy LeBron to no end, and he's got that toughness to him that, oh, man. He's like what Deshaun Stevenson wishes he was. I'm excited. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I actually am excited to see if the Clippers and Lakers played in the Western Conference finals. That would be actually awesome. Well, so I like Morris out there. I like keeping Isaiah because he is also a LeBron stopper in a much different way. So Morris is a guy that can bully LeBron, and Isaiah Thomas is a guy that LeBron sucks at bullying, but he still loves to bully him. So LeBron's brain will be trapped in a tornado of just like, who do I go after?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Who's annoying me more at this time? And I feel like that's a good asset to have on your team if you need to get inside his head in the Western Conference finals. The other big trade was the Timberwolves traded for D'Angelo Russell. They traded away Andrew Wiggins, who, how old do you think Andrew Wiggins is? Andrew Wiggins, he's not that old, right? He's like 28, 27? He's 24.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Oh, shit. Yes. When I saw that, I was like, what? He's going to be 25 in a few weeks, but still. He's the classic guy where you could just, Andrew Wiggins, I feel like might be a new age, Jeff Green, where he will get traded now. This will start like the process of him being traded a million different ways. He's better than that, but a million different teams and everyone will keep saying, well,
Starting point is 00:05:11 he's only 26. Well, he's only 27. Yeah. He's got all the upside, but more importantly, this was a classic NBA trade where the Timberwolves were like, we have a franchise guy, Carl Anthony Towns, who is very, very unhappy. I think the Timberwolves have lost 13 in a row. So let's just trade for his best friend. And that's what they did.
Starting point is 00:05:31 D'Angelo Russell is his best friend. They traded for him. They now are thinking, everyone's talking about how Devon Booker, who is like, it's this new age, big three best friend group that wants to all be together. So Sun's fans are freaking out. I put the monopoly pieces together. Jalil Okafor is now the most important trade ship in the NBA because if the Pelicans trade him to the Grizzlies, the Grizzlies now have the 2015 Duke Blue Devils who won a national
Starting point is 00:06:00 championship that was completely erroneous. Plus they had Deon Waiters now too. So they would have Justice Winslow, Tyus Jones, Grayson Allen, and Jalil Okafor. Or the Timberwolves could trade for Jalil Okafor and they would then have the first three picks in the 2015 NBA draft, which I don't think has ever happened. And even if they stink, you could say, well, we had pick one, two, and three. How are we bad? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I mean, that would be a Darren Revelle perfect wet dream right there to have those three guys on the same team. I hope that he goes to Memphis. That'd be great. I think that would be better because I always say, like, if you if you look at like a lot of the great college basketball teams, like you have that debate, could they beat the shittiest NBA team? You're like, let them get a little bit older and see.
Starting point is 00:06:44 And now we would actually get to see. And add John Morant and add John Morant, who's fucking awesome with the with the Carl Anthony towns and and Wiggins thing. Sorry, I'm sick right now. Our whole podcast is dealing with fighting. I'm trying not to get sick. I think Corona virus right now. Wiggins is a guy that he I will always think that he could be good on whatever the next
Starting point is 00:07:07 team that he's on. Yeah. He's like Trent Richardson. Dude, he's 24. Like he's he's young. Think about it. He was awesome in college. 24.
Starting point is 00:07:15 I just keep waiting for him to get in the right system. You can take screenshots of him. Absolutely. He's fucking everything up on the court. Just got to get in the right system. Right system. That's all Wiggins needs. He's 24.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Just keep saying that. He's 24. He's the he's the mbappe of basketball right now. It's 24. It's so, so, so young. Can I put one in Twitter's earhole real quick? Sure. Because Woj Bombs.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Woj was dominating this trade deadline. Shams got put off to the side a little bit, I feel like. I hate it when Twitter does the uncronological thing during times like this and a Woj bomb that's like five minutes old pops up and I get mad at Twitter. I'm like, fuck you. I already read this four minutes ago. This is old news. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Right. No, it definitely fucks you up whenever you pop on there. You're like, what's going on here? This is I why do they do that Twitter just they just get bored and they just try to figure out ways to like keep themselves on board by making things shitty and then and then try to fix the shitty. Yeah. That's inside Jack from Twitter's own brain right during elections.
Starting point is 00:08:10 It's actually awesome because they'll like old tweets that will predict a state going one way will pop up and it'll be completely wrong like 12 hours late. Right. So what other news do we have? We have Ben Simmons and Joel and be officially do hate each other. So there was a report that off the court they do hate each other, which I think we kind of all assumed when he called Ben Simmons said the team is soft. I don't know what the Sixers are going to do.
Starting point is 00:08:34 That seems like a whore for locker room cancer. This now feels like the process and they got to start it all over again, trade them both and get a bunch of picks. Get all of them out of there. Yeah. I mean, he was part of the Celtics last year. They were a locker room disaster. True.
Starting point is 00:08:50 People think it was Kyrie. They're a locker room disaster. What's the common denominator? The most. Yeah. The the the last one you would suspect to be a locker room cancer or you could also say that it's like teams the year after J. Butt leaves. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:06 That's who they implode because they miss him so very deeply. Maybe although the Tim Rawls kind of imploded with J. Butt a little bit and but more the year after and the bulls are always imploding, but more the year after seeing red, they everyone just hates being in Chicago. It's the worst. Lori wants not to be there anymore. Zach Levine doesn't want to be there. Jim Boylan is a meat.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Shout out Ricky O'Donnell who had the great phrase. Jim Boylan is a meat shield for John Paxton. That's all he is as a coach. He's literally just a meat shield. He stands in front of the front office. So everyone would say, look at that idiot. And not say look at those idiots sitting up there. At least bulls fans can hold on to those Anthony Davis comments until the summer.
Starting point is 00:09:45 True. True. Absolutely. Blow the whole thing up. Every good player that comes into town during All Star Weekend just gets shitty and implodes by being in Chicago. Yeah, there we go. Maybe it's just a joke.
Starting point is 00:09:57 But either way, then we had Andre Drummond to the Cavs, which poor Tristan Thompson and Kevin Love, they were like, we really want to be traded from the Cavs. And then the Cavs did the opposite and traded for Drummond and were like, we're going to go for this. Big question. Are the Cavs... We're going to go for that 8C, baby. Are the Cavs all in?
Starting point is 00:10:14 Is this the window for the Cleveland Cavaliers? There's nothing better than the team that's just like, we're all in for the 8C. I mean, the T-Waves are probably going to be better than an 8C now, but because they've lost so much, they're going to be going all in for an 8C. I mean, it would be great if the Cavs made it to the playoffs and won a couple of series, just like out of sheer dumb luck, because then you could get the... It's the theory that we came up with for when Bryce Harper left at Ashles, a team that gets better after their star player leaves and goes elsewhere that we invented.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Totally invented that ourselves. We could get back going in Cleveland right now. Hank, did the Celts do anything? No. How do you feel about that? I feel all right. Okay. I don't hate that.
Starting point is 00:10:50 And there's the Celtics talk from Hank. This feels all right. He doesn't hate it. They stayed put. No, he did not say he doesn't hate it. I didn't want them to trade. He said he feels all right. I didn't want them to trade smart or Hayward, so I'm happy that they didn't.
Starting point is 00:11:02 He feels all right. Yeah, I feel all right. What do you want? You want action on the deadline day. You want to go to Woj and see that your team did something, but you run the risk of it being like, what the fuck? What did you guys do? Right.
Starting point is 00:11:13 So that's all right. Yeah, it's all right. Woj is the worst thing to happen to NBA front offices, because if he's not tweeting about your team, all your fans are like, what the fuck? We're not trying to win. I don't know. That's like the barometer. Or you're like the Bulls, and you're like, Zach Levine is so important to this franchise.
Starting point is 00:11:30 We can't trade him for anything. The last time Woj tweeted about the Bulls, I mean, 90% of his tweets about Chicago are like weird contract delineations that I don't understand. This league, Andre Jumman just tweeted, there's one thing I learned about the NBA. There's no friends or loyalty. Wow. I've given my heart and soul to the Pistons, and to have this happen with no heads up makes me realize even more that this is just a business.
Starting point is 00:11:51 He gave his heart and soul to the Pistons, and when he says that, he means he gave 20 and 10 in a losing effort. Ever is. I mean, what is he? Does Andre Jumman think that he's a top 10 player in the league? The drum and jump man song that they made for him when he was trying to get into All-Star. Drum and drum and drum. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:10 That was sick. Free Blake now, by the way. Full free Blake mode, because clearly the Pistons, get him out anywhere, get him back to LA. Is he officially out for the entire year? Yeah, he's been out for the entire year. But I'm saying, is he officially out, even for the entire run of the playoffs in his recovery?
Starting point is 00:12:27 Yeah, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs, but yeah. No, I know Detroit's not. I'm hypothesizing if he wins somewhere else. Because sometimes when you get out of Detroit, you feel a lot better, hypothetically. Yeah, I mean, how about Drummond going from Detroit to Cleveland? Yeah. That's a nice lateral move. A big upgrade.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Lateral move. No, that's a little farther south. Lateral move. You got a casino still? Yeah. There's a really nice B-dubs there. Both Detroit and Cleveland, I could sit here and be like, I could sell myself on either. I'd be like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:12:56 They're kind of on the up and up. Is there a city in America that you would not live in for $25 million a year? New York, New York City. Yeah, probably New York City. That's honestly the only one. Tronsford Mississippi. Oh, yeah, I would absolutely live in Oxford for $25 million. Well, I'd live anywhere for $25 million.
Starting point is 00:13:14 You'd be a king. The hometown of the coronavirus? What's it called? Wuhan? Yeah. That's not the United States. Well, yeah, but you said city, right? I don't know if I'd live in Alaska.
Starting point is 00:13:24 That would be tough. Do you know? Depends if it's the summer or winter. The thing about Alaska is it's filled with people that are getting away from their problems. It's filled with people who are laying low, so you never know really who to trust. Right, right. All right, so that is this league and any other trade deadline situations that we need to discuss.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I don't know. I'm in full college basketball mode. I got to admit, like I've been just watching nonstop college basketball, but NBA is about to start picking up. Right is the all-star game comes. It feels like, OK, now we're going. Yeah. Football's over.
Starting point is 00:13:59 We're ready to go. We're ready to get into it. Before we do Baker Mayfield, let's do our firefest on this side, and then we'll do segments on the other side of Baker Mayfield. Hank, your firefest. My firefest, I have a couple. First one was our actual, we hosted a firefest last Friday. Yep.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Careful. Our rough and run. It was a great time. It wasn't our fault. Oh, it was free. No one had to pay. That's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:23 What was jaw rules slogan? It was like, it's not fraud. It was just like we just intentionally misled. Yeah, right. We actually didn't do any of that. The weather was. No, the weather. It was firefest because of the weather, but there was like a tornado, hurricane, combination,
Starting point is 00:14:35 explosion at our venue. And so the fire marshal came shut it down. Everyone had to try and leave during our hurricane. So it was like, no one could stay at the venue. It was pouring rain and like tornadoing outside and everyone had to try and leave. So that was a firefest in and of itself, just trying to get an Uber and get home. My other one is that I hurt my back bench pressing, yes, but not even actually bench pressing.
Starting point is 00:14:57 That's what I've been telling people. I really heard it playing ping pong, which is so much, so much worse to like tell someone. What about Mookie? Mookie. That's my brother's firefest. He lives in San Diego and so he was like. We predicted this. He's more upset.
Starting point is 00:15:12 He told me that he's more upset that now he's going to have to explain to people for like years and years and years that he's not a Dodgers fan. He named his dog Mookie when he was on the Red Sox, which is actually doubly bad because it's a puppy, right? So if Mookie signs an extension, that puppy, everyone will look and be like, oh, your puppy's only like your dog's only a year old. You must have named him Mookie the minute they traded for him. Even if he signed the long extension, a lot of dogs in the LA area will be.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Oh yeah. Mookie is a great dog name. Mookie. Mookie. Mookie. Mookie. Great dog name. What kind of dog is it?
Starting point is 00:15:46 Right? Yeah. It's like a lab mutt. So just tell him to change the name to Snoopy. It's the same consonants. The dog won't know. I sent him that suggestion. He said, I don't think he could pull off Snoopy.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Oh, wow. It doesn't have a lot of faith in his own dog, huh? Why change his name to Brady? He'll never leave. Not a bad idea. Or we'll go to L.A. Yeah. Don't do that.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Don't do that. Did you have any thoughts on the Mookie Betts trade? I mean, it's... It makes no sense to me, honestly. Like the Red Sox seems like what they did, what they got for it is at best a Mookie Betts. It's kind of like the Raiders trade when they traded Cleo Mack. They're trading assets that they hope will eventually turn into a player, the caliber of Mookie Betts.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Right. Instead of just paying. If they're extremely lucky, we'll be Mookie Betts. Or they'll try to... You guys that probably can't even bowl. Or they'll try to sign someone when it's all... When they rebuild, they'll sign someone like Mookie Betts. But no one is as good as Mookie Betts except for Trout.
Starting point is 00:16:42 So it's like, what are you doing? Has the core of a team ever imploded as quickly as those Boston Red Sox? Yeah, the Marlins. Yeah. But that was more of a fire show. They literally just went for it and just, fuck it, we're done. And now the Dodgers, I mean, how many all-ins can the Dodgers... The Dodgers are going to break the record for the most all-ins.
Starting point is 00:17:02 This decade, this is like their fifth or sixth all-in. You've gone all in every year. You've got to win one, Dodgers. This is so pathetic. You know who this... You know who this sucks for? Well, they got cheated. Of course.
Starting point is 00:17:12 But I'm just saying, every year, they're like, Dodgers are all in. Look, Dodgers making big trade, Dodgers are all in. You know who this sucks for, right? What? Clayton. This sucks for Clayton Kershaw. No, actually, it's great for him. No, because now it's like, if he chokes again, this is the cherry on top.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Wrong. They literally traded for a bigger choker in David Price. He's got a ring on him. He's got a ring. He got over that hill. But Clayton can, I mean, the chances are David Price will probably choke before Clayton does. They're probably going to be choking each other.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Right. It's going to be some real kinky shit. So that was your mookie bets, okay. P.F.T. Your Firefest. My Firefest of the Week is that the MLS had a bunch of celebrities announcing their new jerseys, the New Look jerseys. And you know who they got to do?
Starting point is 00:17:54 The Dallas team? Who? Dude, perfect. Ugh. But wait. They're missing one of them. They're missing Cody. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Trouble in Paradise. What happened to Cody? I don't know. Trouble in Paradise. Wait, that's not a Firefest. That's not even for us. No. I don't want to see those guys break up anymore.
Starting point is 00:18:11 What? What? Because we've established ourselves as the office. What's wrong with you? You get verified and now you're rooting for Dude Perfect? No, trust me. What the fuck? Trust me.
Starting point is 00:18:20 I don't like Dude Perfect, but I want them to be broken up at our doing. Well, it is our doing. We can take credit for it? Yeah. We were the first to talk about it. Okay. Cody wasn't there because he's pissed off at the twins and the guy with the beard forgetting too much camera time.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Listen, in 50 years when one of them passes away and I'm saying live a long life, not saying anything else, not saying anything else, I'll take credit. When they die? Yeah. You will have murdered them? No. 50 years, I said. That's a long life.
Starting point is 00:18:50 It was so funny. Beautiful life. Grandkids, everything. It was so funny to watch them do the little catwalk with the uniforms on because the guy with the beard is clearly their leader. Always. And they don't. A group that doesn't really need a leader whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:19:00 No. And they get to the end of the catwalk and they do this little turn, this little cross leg turn, and the beard guy goes one, two, three, and like directs everybody to do it. So he even takes control on the runway. I'm so happy I didn't see that. Yeah. You should check it out. It's also a pretty sweet video.
Starting point is 00:19:16 So thoughts. I'll change that. Thoughts and prayers to Dude Perfect. All right. My fire first. I got two. One is Stephen A. Smith is trying to get Patrick Holmes to play in the Celebrity All-Star game NBA All-Star weekend in Chicago.
Starting point is 00:19:30 So he'll probably win the MVP and everyone will make a joke about that. I don't think so, though, because there was that video of him playing after the season last year and then it was like they had to shut. I think the chiefs like said, like, you're not allowed to play. But if Patrick Holmes plays in a Celebrity All-Star game in Chicago, he will win MVP and everyone will make a joke. But, but if he like tweaked his hamstring or something like that, then we won the draft. Then he won the draft.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Did you see him chugging beers? He was having a good time. He looked awesome. I mean, he looked genuinely like he was having the best time of his life. And I know that sounds like no duh. Everyone would. But you can tell like some people are there and they're like, I just want to get to the club.
Starting point is 00:20:09 And then some people are there. Like, I actually want to enjoy this with the fans. Oh, he was soaking in. That's, that's actually the reason I think that Aaron Rodgers doesn't want to win a Super Bowl is because he'd have to chug beer in front of people in front of large crowds. Yeah. That's not his thing. And smile.
Starting point is 00:20:23 You got any scotch? Firefest is everyone's sick and I'm yet to be sick, but I'm basically, I actually think trying to not get sick is worse than being sick because it's the inevitable doom. Yeah. I've just been taking Nyquil and I'm not sick. Right. But I'm like, I have to do something. And I know how, however the timeline works, I'll get sick at the end and everyone will
Starting point is 00:20:45 be healthy and we'll be mad at you. Yeah. Like what the hell? Why are you sick? Like we've been good for a week. So I'm the good news is I'm already starting to feel better. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I started to get sick yesterday, went home, slept for just puked blood on himself, slept for like 14 hours. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Here's the good news about this, whatever I'm dealing with. It stayed above the equator, if you know what I'm saying, because Bubba said that he, Bubba's not here.
Starting point is 00:21:12 I've got zero butt issues. Bubba said he's got some all types of issues. In fact, I would say that my butt is in better shape than it usually is. Like after a nice big cheese tray. Yeah. After, yeah. Like a cheese tray washed down with like apple juice and prunes. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:21:27 You're good to go. All right. We got Baker Mayfield on the show. We figure out where we're going to go with the Baker Mayfield fan club. So before we do that, Valentine's tip number one, not all rose bouquets are created equal. So if you're looking for roses that are guaranteed to impress, head to my friends at 1800Flowers.com. 1800Flowers has some of the freshest and top quality roses for prices you won't believe. Take care of all your rose needs today with the official floors to Valentine's 1800Flowers.
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Starting point is 00:22:43 Do it right now. Get it taken care of. You don't have to worry about Valentine's Day and the deal is today only. So go to 1800Flowers.com to order 18 red roses for $29.99 or upgrade to 24 red roses for only $10 more. Go to 1800Flowers.com, click the radio icon and enter the code PMT. That's 1800Flowers.com, uh, radio code, sorry, code PMT, 1800Flowers.com, code PMT. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Here he is. Baker Mayfield. Okay. We now welcome on a good friend of ours. Three-time recurring guest. Yeah. Three-time recurring guest. It is Baker Mayfield, starting quarterback Cleveland Browns.
Starting point is 00:23:24 This is a very important podcast. Really? Yes. More important than the others. Well, we need some direction. Okay. I would say this year probably didn't go great overall. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:39 A lot of haters have come out of the woodwork. Where do we go? Should we fight back? Do we need to keep saying, hey, we're going to make a list? Colin Coward, you're on the list, all this stuff. Or should we fall back for a minute, wait for next year to start, and then pounce? Um, I think you can continue what we talked about. You fight back when I can't, you know, right now.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yep. I'm going to let it die down a little bit. I'm going to let you guys be on the front line for me. Okay. And then as soon as the season starts, I'll be back. So when I told Colin Coward that he can suck my dick from the back, you were okay with that. For me to say it.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Well, do you want me to, do you want me to be that aggressive? Cause I can even go one step further. Right. Right. But it's one step further from the front. Choke on my balls. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Yeah. Yeah. Right. From the back, from underneath. You don't have to, you don't have to reply to that because we'll just just wink. You know, we got it. Yeah. I get it.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yeah. Right. Right. So, overall, we were with you training camp, you, the year finishes, are you like right back in the gym, right back in the, let's get this figured out, or did you take a little time to chill out and be like, all right, that's sucked. I've taken a little time away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Definitely kind of got my mind back together a little bit, got the body feeling as good as it probably could right now and now I'm about to hit it run. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because I saw a picture of you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:11 It was you, Alec Ogletree, Seyquan, I forget who else, I actually have the picture right here. Yep. Because it's such a. It's your screensaver. It's such a good one. Yeah. Oh, geez.
Starting point is 00:25:22 And it's you guys in the Bahamas together. Now, in this picture, everyone is in great shape, and then there's you in the background. You know what shape I'm in right there? Look at it. That's vacation shape. Yeah, that is. Okay. That is dad bod shape.
Starting point is 00:25:34 It's just unfortunate. I think you look good. It's bloating from travel. Yeah. When you go on an airplane, it actually is true. Yes. Your body bloats a little. No, we went, that was the first day.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Okay. That was right off the airplane. I'll say that. It is a laugh out loud picture because these guys have like nine packs, ten packs, twelve packs. I look like shit. No, you don't need to look good. That's not how it, that's not, you know what?
Starting point is 00:25:54 Those are popcorn muscles. That's right. Really? On them? Yeah. Workout heroes. Yeah. We're about results.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Exactly. Right. And I think some of them have results. Yeah. I like that. I like it. You're hitting the reset button, taking some time off, getting mentally refreshed. At the end of the season, I gotta imagine like, it was a tough year.
Starting point is 00:26:15 You know, like you probably, you know, didn't really enjoy the last couple months of the season. Oh, absolutely not. Yeah. That was the first time I'd say I really wasn't having fun playing football. Right. So for me, it's getting back to square one of, I love the game of football. I'm going to make it fun and that's how I play my best.
Starting point is 00:26:32 So with an edge, you know, but having, you know, a clear head at the same time. And when you hit the reset button, I mean, credit to you, you're, it's not like you're out and about. Like I saw the Conor McGregor fight, like Miles Garrett was there and you didn't go. Yeah. That's great. So I thought that would show a lot of maturity. It showed a lot of people there.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Right. It looked like it would have been fun. Right. It was first, it was first pick overall. Miles Garrett was there. Yeah. And there was a guy next to him with a weird hat. But yeah, that was all I saw.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Nick Carter was behind. Really? Miles, yeah. Did you know, did you get your phone get blown up when that happened? Yeah. That was, I mean, Joe Mannix of Renovars. Yeah. Such a nice guy.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Yeah. Yeah. And then Nick Carter asked you to take your hat off because it was blocking the view. No. Okay. Yeah. He's probably intimidated by it. He appreciated it.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah. It was a good hat. It was like almost like a Charlie Whitehurst type of thing. But it wasn't big enough. That's the problem. That's why you didn't get noticed on the camera. It wasn't big enough. No.
Starting point is 00:27:25 It should have been like the Pharrell hat that he wore to the Grammys or whatever. Yeah. You really, I mean, really that's why I wore it. Just trying to get noticed. You know, just trying to make that step back into, you know, reality of what I want. Yeah. So you did a good move by being with Miles Garrett and being like, hey, we still got each other's back.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Because I know that you got unnecessary shit for after that whole incident you did the interview right after. I thought not everything you said was completely correct. It was like, that was a crazy thing can happen when you get back in the locker room was like Miles Garrett just sitting there like, whoops. Yeah, kind of. I mean, he was my bad. He's quiet regardless.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Like he's always sticks to himself. And so to see him and, you know, he can't really express, you know, his sorrow for that, but you could tell. Right. And so it was just about the whole locker room was kind of in a frenzy at that point. And so, I mean, regardless, I had Miles back no matter what, but in the game of football, it's everybody knows that can happen. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:18 And he knows that and that's why he addressed it and he's, he's moved on. And so I've talked to him since and he's, he's in a good place right now. So he's ready to come back. It was crazy that you got any hate for that. I think that was just the blinded Baker Mayfield hit. Because you, you basically were like, yeah, you can't hit the opponent in the head with your helmet. Like it was like Baker doesn't have his back.
Starting point is 00:28:39 I guess it isn't in the rule book that you can't do that. It might be. They might not have had the foresight to do that. Yeah. He's a bylaw. Don't take your helmet off or don't take your opponent's helmet off and hit him. I think if it's your own helmet, it's better. The fact that it was his helmet was almost like, that made it a little bit more disrespect.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Right. Crits you for not going on the field. You wouldn't have been suspended in the NBA. Uh-huh. That was smart. How close was it on the sideline? Cause when all that goes down, it's like, it's a full on brawl at that point. Are there people that are trying to run on the field?
Starting point is 00:29:09 Like how close did that become to being like? There were people trying to run on the field because it was also like less than 10 seconds left in the game. Right. So the clock I think was almost done. And I think they let it run, but the, it should have been, I think it was fourth down. Yes, it was. So we were supposed to go out there and take a knee right after, but they were like, screw
Starting point is 00:29:25 that. Everybody off the field. Right. And we were about to record and the only reason we didn't start recording was that I'm a degenerate loser and I was like, I have the second half line. So we got to see how this ends. And then it happened and we're like, well, good thing we didn't record because that changes everything.
Starting point is 00:29:44 A little bit. It was a wild moment. A wild, wild moment. Uh, you got a question about Odell for you. Has he ever handed out cash in the locker room after you guys have a big one? Um, we had a guy named Damon Sheehy Giuseppe in the preseason. He was, he was, you know, kind of a hero guy that slept outside the gym. The kick returner.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Yes. Yeah. So he returned a kick and he got a nice two grand in his pocket. I love it. I love that. Odell does that. That's such a great guy. That is such a great move.
Starting point is 00:30:17 So I'm doing that. Were you like, Oh no. Oh no, Odell. Uh, which one? After the LSU game. Um, it was to, you know, the seniors. It was legal. So it's fine.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Correct. All above board. And we don't know if it was fake or not. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Joe Burrow kind of. He doesn't want to carry on monopoly money.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Yes. Yeah. Right. We got in the headlines with Odell because we interviewed Joe the day after like at seven a.m. And might have muddied the water. So that was our fault. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:46 That was our fault big time. Um, all right. So I, this is a weird question, but I've always wondered this. So January comes along, it's playoff football. Was there ever a moment where you contacted your PR people, your agent and like, Hey, can we stop running the progressive ads? No, never. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:05 There you go. Cause that was like the AMC playoffs. And there's like Baker still living in the, in the, uh, stadium and then it's like, you know, no, that's the AMC championship game. Oh, Baker still live in there. Still live in there. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:19 No regrets about the commercials at all. I feel like there should be commercial insurance though. Right. You know, you should be able to say, let's delay this. If, if you're in the news for like not so great reason or the season's going tough, you should be able to say, Hey, can we only play these commercials after wins? No. We would have played more if we would have won.
Starting point is 00:31:36 There's more. Yeah. There's more. We're just keeping them in the pocket. Oh, there's deleted ones. Always keep one in the holster. I like that. So now that swagger junior is the new dog who I think is undefeated at home.
Starting point is 00:31:46 You've got some more ads ready to go for like riding that good luck wave. Yeah. We're coming out fully loaded. Yes. Do you notice a difference between swagger junior and swagger senior? Just a little more pep in his step. That comes with younger age. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Right. He's the new age. Right. It's the new Browns. It's the new Browns. Swagger Junior is the representative. Right. I like that.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Hit the reset button. Have you been able to talk to Kevin Savansky? I have a few times. I haven't met him in person yet, but he's been pretty busy putting together the staff so excited where it's headed. General impression of him. I think he's too attractive to be a good head coach, but he's got that jaw line. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:23 What do you think? I don't think the jaw line has anything to do with it. Okay. He's very well put together. You know, he's a guy that once you talk to him, you realize he's extremely sharp. There's a reason that, you know, he went through the interview process for the Browns last year and then he just got the job because I think, you know, he just handles himself well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And he's bringing in a fullback too. Yeah. That's kind of cool. We didn't have a fullback. Yeah. It's nice to have one of those two. Both teams in Super Bowl have fullbacks. Do the math.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Super Bowl. Brown Super Bowl. Yeah. Guarantee from Baker Mayfield. I didn't say that. Your old coach, Freddie Kitchens, he's on the Giants now and you guys play the Giants next year. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:02 You already knew that. Yeah. Well, I mean, that game's at MedLife in New York and there's a reason for that. It's going to be the homecoming for number 13. Oh, that's right. So we got a double revenge game going on. Yeah. Freddie.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I wouldn't say Freddie's is a double revenge, but you know. What's you against Freddie? It's your revenge game against Freddie and then Odell's against the Giants. And also Freddie. And Freddie too. And Jarvis Landry. He's a crazy revenge game. It's crazy amounts of revenge.
Starting point is 00:33:27 It's everyone. You guys are like an M. Night Shyamalan right now. Yeah. This is going to be the greatest game of all time. Were you, when Odell and Jarvis after games would go and ask for the opposing team to come get them? Is that weird? That was a perfectly phrased question, don't you think?
Starting point is 00:33:46 I thought it was perfect. No. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, that was that was a weird. I did get caught up in the when he handed the goat hair cleats to Tom Brady though. Oh, yeah. That picture was bad.
Starting point is 00:33:58 That was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That sucked. My face looks like. Yeah. Pure disappointment. Yeah. This is one of my favorite parts about sitting down interviewing you is you laugh, but you know better than to laugh into the microphone like lean back.
Starting point is 00:34:13 You're smart. So if you're just listening to the show, you might think that Baker absolutely hates us. No. I yawn. I yawn some of that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:24 We'll put a laugh track. Every time you stop talking, it's just a laugh track. There it is. It's perfect. Are you mad at me? You probably don't even know that I said this, but I'm going to back this up. Oklahoma deserves a one year ban from the college football playoffs. Their performances, I'm sick of it.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Our performance against Georgia wasn't bad. Yeah. No, no. You were the last. Yes. Your performance against Georgia was very, very good. Now, if we have another performance like that again, then yeah, I could get on board. I.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Okay. Here's what I'm really sick of. Every year, halfway through the season, Oklahoma loses a game. Everyone says Oklahoma stinks. And then they come back and you went at the right time. Right. And then they start playing defense. Everyone's like, you know what, Oklahoma's defense, not that bad.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Not true. They are still bad. The offense has never been the problem. You think it's fair? We haven't shown up at the right times. Okay. All right. So you take accountability.
Starting point is 00:35:22 That Rose Bowl game was fantastic. That was an all time game. We, uh, when we played Clemson that first year in the playoffs, they were pretty good too. Yeah. And then back's out. And so then, you know, they knew we were passing. So they were, uh, you guys are a victim of bad scheduling.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes. Yeah. I've had a few of those in my life.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Yeah. Yeah. It seems to follow me. Yeah. Like just being in the big 12. I think blaming. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Yeah. Blame Oklahoma. Wrong place. Wrong time. I'm blaming the NCAA for ceding Oklahoma against the juggernauts every time. It's almost like they have an axe to grind against Oklahoma. Exactly. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I like that. Yeah. You listen, if you are a supporter of a big time college football team, you have to have somebody to lash out because there's a conspiracy against every team. So now it's like directly you guys against the NCAA and it used to be Georgia. You actually took that mantle from Georgia now. Yeah. We're, we like the underdog mentality.
Starting point is 00:36:18 So yeah, we'll take it now. Yeah. Um, I noticed that you're going on get up tomorrow morning. Uh-oh. It's a good cast tomorrow morning. Yeah. A lot of people that really like me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Uh-oh. Rex Ryan. Yeah. On get up tomorrow. Do you think he's going to wear orange and brown? He probably will to try to like diffuse the situation a little bit, but don't fall for that. Nope.
Starting point is 00:36:38 No. Don't fall for it. Can I give you like some things that you can use? I would love to. I mean, you're a quick guy, so I'm sure that you've, you're going to be prepared going into it. Uh, if he starts talking about your season, say, uh, I'd say that you really put your foot in your mouth, but you'd probably enjoy that.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Mmm. Got him. Boom roasted. I don't think you can come back from that. No. If you say that, it's over. You just walk off. You can just walk off like it's an N1 mixtape.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yeah. Shows over. That's a good one. Yeah. I need more. Uh, not, that was my, my best material. Yeah. I think that's all I need.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Yeah. You just tell him you're not even the best coach in your family. Yeah. Like Rob is a better coach. Or, you know, and he looks, and he's a better looking guy and he's got better hair. Yeah. Absolutely the better hair part. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:22 You can also do the casual, hey Rex, it looks like you lost weight knowing he didn't. So it's like, what the hell? Like I'm still really fat. Yeah. Like that's a great one. That always hurts my feelings when people say that to me and I haven't lost weight. You do look good though. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:37:35 That hurt my feelings. Um, I've had a bad, I'm dealing with a bad picture right now of my right breast that has been going around the internet. Whatever. It's, you know, bad timing. Exactly. Shadow is everything like, it's a whole scene. A lighting.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Yeah. Right. And he did get off a plane like two days ago. So again, the altitude. Right. Right. Um, I have a real question. Will you off season this year, will you do maybe less media coverage, everything knowing
Starting point is 00:38:01 how like last off season, everyone got, so, I mean, that's obviously not kind of out of your hands. Yeah. I was about to say, I don't think it's my choice. We went six and 10. So I don't think I'm going to be asked to do nearly as much. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:13 If we're just being honest. That's the thing that sucks. So you guys had all the hype and it's not really your fault. It's kind of, you know, there was excitement about the Browns. There'll always be excitement about the Browns when you guys seem to be putting it together. And then that's really what it comes down to. Like if you go into the season, people aren't expecting you to be great. That's when you can surprise them.
Starting point is 00:38:31 So the Browns are going to stink next year. I don't want to say that because Baker looks like he's ready to kill me. No, no, no, no. This is how we do it. I'm going to say it's not behind your back. Yeah. No, you guys, you guys might not win a game. It's a bold strategy.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Listen, I get he's getting ready. I don't mind talking trash about the Browns to amp Baker up, but I'm not going to say a word of shit about swagger, junior. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. Truly fair. So you win every home game.
Starting point is 00:38:58 You'll go eight and eight next year. Eight. He's mad. No road games. Yeah. He's mad. Not a single road game. Not the one in MetLife.
Starting point is 00:39:06 The revenge game. That's messed up. That's messed up. Give him nine and seven. Quadruple revenge or whatever it is. Yeah. Are you going to stare down Freddie? Like I remember a couple of years ago when he went to the Bengals and you guys weren't
Starting point is 00:39:15 happy about him. Are you going to like give him any looks or what's the handshake going to be like? No, Freddie and I are good. We're good. Okay. Yeah. It's a little different. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I always wondered about that clip that came out a couple of years ago. I guess it was your rookie year when Freddie was talking you up on the sidelines and he walked away and you go, man, that guy's an idiot. And everyone was like, oh, that's so funny. They get along. They can rib each other a little bit. I thought that you actually did maybe think that Freddie had idiotic tendencies and times. No, he's not.
Starting point is 00:39:44 You like him? You guys still on good terms? We are on good terms. We came close to this family, so it was kind of tough for me to deal with at the same time. Yeah. Some of the things we put together behind the scenes, it just didn't work out. So we didn't have a chance in the get go. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:59 But it's the greatest comeback ever next year. I can't wait for you to go crazy next year and have everyone thought we weren't going to win a game. No, no, no. Now that was what this is us just talking. You were lying. I can't wait for you to go crazy next year and we're going to dunk on everyone like it's like a dunk.
Starting point is 00:40:17 I would do it. We will dunk on everyone. The haters are going to be sick and we're going to make them sick by your play. We physically, we're not going to do anything, but you will and then we will reap all the benefits. Yeah. That's how this works. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:34 That's how our relationship goes pretty much. The one way street. We get all the credit. That's why you guys are going to be on the front line to where, yeah, then in the season comes around. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Do you think that shirt is kind of a look at me move? It's a swaggy shirt. I like it, but it's like it. I just ripped a couple of my bandana as a pardon. I like that. You made it yourself. Yeah. Stitch it together.
Starting point is 00:40:53 It's nice. How many different colors do you have on there? Red, blue, green and black. It's like every part of the shirt is a different color. Yeah, that's a good shirt. I like that. That's a Miami shirt. I'll put it that way.
Starting point is 00:41:01 You cannot wear that shirt in Cleveland. No. Second you get to Florida. Absolutely not. That thing comes on. Absolutely. I actually, my last question is going to be about that necklace. The Seeky question.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Put in Seeky. Get promo, $10 off. If you want to go to a Browns game next year, $10 off. They're going to be expensive tickets because you're going to win so many games. Put in promo code TAKE. That chain. How much is that chain worth? Can we have it?
Starting point is 00:41:25 How much do you want for it? Those are combined questions. VVSs? VVSs. I just learned what V1 literally is. This is where two hours ago. Two hours ago? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I keep it right here in case I forget my own jersey number. No, that's a cool chain. I like that chain. That's a cool move. I wish I had a jersey number that I could wear a chain like that. So wait, how much is that chain worth? I didn't get it. Oh, your wife got it for you?
Starting point is 00:41:50 Yeah, she did. That's a great present. That's nice. Okay. How much was it? Enough. Enough. Enough.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Enough. Okay. I have one real question for you. So you've switched coordinators. You've had different playbooks, different terminology, I would imagine. Some different stuff going on. For us, that's like we switched from WordPress to a different blogging platform over the years.
Starting point is 00:42:14 And I just refused to change over. I'm still using the old one. Twitter and TikTok. Yeah. So I'm still using the old, I'm still on WordPress. Are you going to like, do you have any resistance to that? You're like, hey, can't I just use the same play calls? No, I, I'm pretty much at this point just asking for at least one solid year of the same playbook.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yes. That'd be nice. Yes. Some sort of consistency for me would be good. Does that have like a big impact in your off season? Cause you have to spend so much time not working on like the physical stuff, but just like learning new words. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:42 There's definitely the, the learning curve for it. And you know, for everybody else in the offense as well, you know, cause we're not, nobody's going to have the same things going on. So it's new for everybody, but it definitely takes time away from, you know, building on what you already have. Okay. Well, we're still on team Baker. I think we might be, it might be just us and your family.
Starting point is 00:43:01 That's okay. That's fine. We're team Baker through and through. You've got to start somewhere. Yeah. The people out there who are going at you, they'll have their day. Also, thank you for beating the Ravens, uh, week three. It was their last loss till the most recent one.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Right. Cause that made me think they were frauds. And then I got a lot of shit for saying they were frauds, then they lost in the playoffs and look who was on the right side of history. Me. That's right. So you did that. You did that.
Starting point is 00:43:27 You made me look good. Um, but yeah, this is going to be a great year. I'm excited. And we're going to dunk on everyone. Oh, I can't wait. I have a list. Checking it twice. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:35 First one. Colin clown heard. Yep. That's right. That's his new name now. It just came up with that. Feel free to use it. You might be the first person to ever say that.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Yeah. Ever say that. Yeah. Clown turd. Clown turd. Mm hmm. Oh, there we go. Got him.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Got him. Um, all right, Baker. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Best of luck next year. Hopefully we talk to you beforehand, but, uh, you are, it's coming back. I want to look at what camera. It's coming home.
Starting point is 00:44:00 You guys are fucked up. We're going to fuck you up. Do I look at this one? Yeah. Say we're going to fuck you up. I'm good. Yeah. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:44:08 He said he'd be looking out for that line. The foot in the mouth one. That's going to be a home run. Yeah. That's going to be a game time. When are we putting this interview out? Uh, probably for like two weeks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:16 So just in regard if it turtles up and just, uh, let's greeny dominate him like the alpha male he is. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one you got to watch out for is greeny. He's a sneaky alpha. Mm hmm. Uh, I can't wait to see what Marcus Spears does.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Oh, there we go. You got a big day coming tomorrow. Yeah. All right. Don't worry. Yeah. We'll make sure we always forever. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:47:23 Drinkhydrant.com, promo code TAKE. Okay, let's get to some segments. Before we do that though, we have the conclusion to the Baker Mayfield story of PFT telling him he should completely dunk on Rex Ryan on Get Up. I thought it was a pretty sneaky way to kind of get in there and seem like he was apologizing but still let Baker be Baker. So he went on Get Up, apologies to Greeny that this happened under your watch, but we got to stick up for a guy Baker.
Starting point is 00:47:52 So here it is. What did you learn about the dynamics of the NFL that you couldn't translate that kind of emo from college? It's a humbling experience. It's a different ball game to me. Let's just be honest, I put my foot in my mouth a lot this past year and I'm going to internalize that and I think that's the way I need to handle it. I mean, rest in peace, Kobe, but that's the way he did it.
Starting point is 00:48:17 He motivated himself. He didn't talk a lot. He talked to his teammates, drove them to be better people, better men and so that's the way I need to handle it. I don't need to respond to the things that don't matter, the things that don't help us win. Let's just be honest. I put my foot in my mouth a lot this past year.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Love it. Rex, do you think he knew right away? No. You don't think so? No, Baker didn't know. And what was funny was after that interview, Shifter and a lot of other NFL reporters were like quoting that interview, including my internet dad, your internet uncle, Mike Florio, saying, is this a sign that Baker Mayfield has matured and the Cleveland media was like,
Starting point is 00:48:52 I love it. Baker's saying and doing all the right things. Baker's going to be Baker. Let Baker be Baker. You don't tell a caged bird not to sing. Correct. All right. Let's do some segments.
Starting point is 00:49:03 First up, we have a way to stay relevant, handball. So handball's mad at us. I can't believe we're here. I can't believe this was when we had Jay Cutler on, I thought maybe someone in the Chicago media would get mad or maybe Mike Martz or like any number of things. Turns out the only fallout from Jay Cutler being on the show was the world of handball is very upset that he would imply he could be a gold medal handballist. I also handballist.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Handball handball. Yeah. Right. This is the Olympics for handball is not actually the Olympics. It's responding to everybody that says that USA could dominate in the Olympics if we put our other athletes in handball uniforms. That is their time to shine every four years and they're not mad, they're just disappointed with Jay for saying that, but I still think it's kind of true.
Starting point is 00:49:52 I mean, it's 100% true. No offense to handballists. I'm sure you're very nice people, but you play a sport that if we decided to stop playing all the other sports, there would be a lot of guys better than what you're doing. I'm sorry. I apologize for absolutely nothing. I'll put it this way. If I'll put this way, if we were to take our best NFL players and put them in rugby uniforms,
Starting point is 00:50:18 right? And Lamar Jackson was a fly half and we had guys like Halody Nada and Dhamma Kinsu and all these big motherfuckers out there run people over. We would be much, much better at rugby if they were to grow up playing the sport. Right. And it's not like we joke about the soccer thing. I think soccer is a little different. I don't think that we could just be like, Hey, our best players in basketball could
Starting point is 00:50:38 go play soccer at a high level. That's clearly, that's a, that's a world class sport, a high level sport, handball. Handball is a fucking. Not world class. It's recess. Playing recess. They kind of are a little bit. What are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:50:55 It's handball. There is some strategy to that honorable thing you can do as a human is get a gold medal in the Olympics. Is it? And if you play, maybe. Then you can do that. Listen, I've, I've looked up the rules of handball football, not in Olympics. It's not easy.
Starting point is 00:51:11 I'm sure it would take at least three months for our guys to get acclimated to it, but you just put them in a training camp. It actually looks really easy. It looks super easy. Well, listen, okay. Two and a half months of training and again, I'm not saying that I would be a gold medal handballist. I'd be probably.
Starting point is 00:51:28 No, we are. Top pro. We are saying that because we'd be on the team, but Jay Cutler was like, there's only 32 NFL starting quarterbacks. His, his arm is better than any handballist's arm. This is crazy. Let's put together just using recurring guests from part of my take, a hypothetical starting how many players play handball at six and a half or something.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Sure. Let's just say six because eight seems like a lot of names. I'm watching it right now. They are playing a game that you invent to like kill time at your office. Okay. Part of it like shelf ball. Yeah. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:52:04 We got this little soccer ball that I picked up when I went to an MLS game for free. We could almost do it just using guests from birthday week. This is ridiculous. Stu Feiner. Danny Woodhead. Dude, this is handball. I'm sorry. It looks like a really, really fun sport.
Starting point is 00:52:18 I will say that. Like if we had the ability to play handball, if there was a handball court, I, it looks like a very, very fun sport to play. But other than that, nah, nah, like could a handballist play in the NFL? Could a handballist play in Major League Baseball? Come on. This is crazy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Let's compile that team though. Judy. Just based. Who? Cutter? Yeah. Yeah. Jay Cutler.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Kyle Long. Kyle Long. Phil Hughes probably. Phil Hughes. Get the gas in there. Yeah. We were saying Sam Decker and Goal. I mean, he would stop everything.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Both Blakes. We had both Blakes. Maybe even Kepka. Gary Busey as the coach. Perfect. We'll just be on the bench. Jackson as the coach would be pretty good too. I'm trying to think who else we could have on that would be like.
Starting point is 00:53:06 I don't know if he'd be believable as a coach. No, probably not. You're right. Like anyone. Deli. Anyone can jump a little bit. Deli's like no. I feel like Deli might not be.
Starting point is 00:53:15 No, the only reason I said Deli is because he probably grew up playing some handball and I'll show you. Right. He probably played basketball because the handball didn't work out for him. If it was just all QBs, it was just Jared, Blake, Mahomes, Cuddy. Uh-huh. No, but they're all bigger than everyone I'm watching play handball. All right.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Oh, put Danny Woodhead on there. That's enough handball. Let's go to another sport. Billy football. Billy football could actually be an Olympian handball player. Of course. Let's talk some XFL. We'll do some preview.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Jilly. XFL preview. Okay. So I don't know what the teams are. I'm looking right now. Okay. How do you want to do the preview? I know too.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Well, so. I got the dragons. I've got, here's what I'll tell you. I've got the team over unders. So you want to do team over unders for the year? Sure. Or do you want to do a weekend preview of XFL? The teams are there.
Starting point is 00:53:59 How many teams are there? There are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight teams. Too many. Too many. That's already too many teams. Give me four teams. All right. So we're going to do half the league over unders.
Starting point is 00:54:10 The four random teams that I can give an over unders. Tampa Bay Vipers. They're so. Over. You want to take the over. Yeah. Seven and a half. I like them.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I like their logo. I'm looking at it right now. You know who their coach is. Their logo looks like a vagina. You know their coaches. Who? Mark Trussman. Mark Trussman.
Starting point is 00:54:27 All right. I'll take the under. Five over under Dallas Renegades. How many games are there? There are 10 games. So they're anticipating that Mark Trussman is going to lead a team to an 800 record. Yeah. Mark Trussman, you know what?
Starting point is 00:54:40 I'm going to take the over on the Vipers. I want Mark Trussman to do well. Well, here's the thing. I'm rooting for him. Mark Trussman is good in leagues that don't. Correct. Really matter yet. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Oh, you put a yet in there. Yeah. Because the XFL is going to take over. Got it. Got it. Yeah. I'll take you over for Mark Trussman. I'm rooting for him.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Okay. A dagger twist in your heart if he was the best XFL coach of all time. No, because Mark Trussman is like one of those blips in the radar where you just have to have enough time go by where you're like, you know what? It wasn't you. It was us. Like the bears suck no matter what. It doesn't matter who's the coach.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Their quarterbacks, Aaron Murray. So I think that's where the 7.5 they're like, oh, he was good at one point. Next team we'll go to is Dallas Renegades. Their over under is six. Who's their quarterback? Their quarterback is Landry Jones if healthy, but he had some sort of knee issue, I think. Six? So it might not be Landry Jones.
Starting point is 00:55:31 I'll take the over. Their coach is Bob Stoops, which is either. I'm taking the over for the Renegades as well. If it's not Landry Jones, it would be either PJ Nelson or Eric Dungey at quarterback. So I don't know. Are those real people? Philip Nelson. I think I might have just invented the fact that his name was PJ.
Starting point is 00:55:52 PJ is a better quarterback name than Phil Nelson. Okay. So get the over there. Houston Roughnecks. Six. Their coach is Jim Jones. Ball. Jim Jones.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Excuse me. Jim Jones is obviously like the Hawaii. They should get Jim Jones in there. If he wears a lay, then I'm taking the over. Yes. I'm going to take the over regardless. Oh my God. Phil Nelson went from Minnesota to Rutgers to East Carolina.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Collect them all. What a journey. What a journey. Minnesota Rutgers. ECU. Yes. What a journey. Pretty diverse set.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Yeah. Okay. What's the last one? I was going to give the last team total as DC defenders instead of them. We'll go with the Seattle Dragons. I like them over Coltracy. Yeah. Over Coltracy.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Coltracy. Say no more. Okay. So they're over under. It's nine and a half. It's only three and a half. Oh. So we're taking over on that.
Starting point is 00:56:50 The disrespect. Disrespect is Jim Zorn, right? It's Jim Zorn. Hell yeah. It's a revenge game for Jim Zorn coming back to DC. How are they, like I would imagine the XFL like they're flying on like Southwest. Don't know. Well, yeah, obviously if it's Seattle.
Starting point is 00:57:04 That's everywhere they go. But that's Southeast. No, I'm saying like that's a far trip. These teams are far, far, you know, this is going to be a lot of mileage up here. You know what else is cool? They definitely don't have their own planes, right? When it's the Dragons, it's the Seattle Dragons, but they're abbreviated as the C Dragons, SEA Dragons.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Nice. Which is a nice little touch there. I'm taking the over on them as well. Okay. So that's our XFL preview. We have a thoughts and prayers to the NFL because they're getting sued for having too erotic of a halftime show during the Super Bowl. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:37 So what's exactly going on? There's a guy that's suing the NFL because he got too horny during the halftime show and as a Christian Lordy. Yeah. Well, literally Lordy because it made him violate his Christian beliefs. So he's suing the NFL for like hundreds of millions of dollars. Like will bonds mad that everyone's making fun of Lordy? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Fuck it. I'm going to sue him. He should be honestly, he should just be suing his own penis because obviously he's doing this just to get attention, right? Uh, I actually think he might have a case, a class action lawsuit that we could join. That was a very erotic halftime show. Listen, XFL, you need to just say that you need to plant stories that people are suing you because your halftime shows are too erotic.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Yes. If you want viewers. I listen, this guy, I would like to see it go through court because I think he might have a case. Your honor, uh, the butts, there were two butts at the same time on stage here was doing something with her tongue and then I eject and my wife's got angry and I got an erection. Your honor, it was awful. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Last time before we get to FAQ, Saber Metrics, so you have this PFT. There's big Guinness Book of World Records, there's some drama, big time drama. There's drama on the streets right now, Finley, the golden retriever, said a Guinness Book of World Records record for fitting six tennis balls in his mouth at once. That's it? For some reason, I thought Finley did like 15. Six is a lot of balls. I know it is.
Starting point is 00:59:02 How many balls have you ever had in your mouth at once? I've had four. Yeah. You have. Yeah. I've had four balls in my mouth. Yeah. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Yeah. Um, but yeah, so he had six tennis balls in his mouth. Okay. That's a lot for a golden retriever, but the big wigs at Guinness won't recognize it because they said that its owners didn't submit the right paperwork, which is ridiculous. That's bullshit. Wait, but can't Finley just do it again? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:25 I don't know the whole process for it. I think you have to get like somebody from Guinness to fly. You probably have to pay them to fly somebody into your town. This is where it gets all convoluted and it's really, frankly, quite out of date that Guinness, a beer company, is in charge of record keeping. I used to love that book, though. It was a great book. In like the late 90s, that was basically the internet.
Starting point is 00:59:45 But the more I was going through it and being like, look at all these weird records. The more I think about it, the more of a racket it becomes. You clearly have to just like pay Guinness to send a representative to like hang out with you for a day. Then they're like, yeah, whatever. Okay. I'll sign off on your dumb record. Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Finley, the golden retriever, is getting screwed by the red tape of all of it. So hashtag justice for Finley. Yeah. Let's get Finley the record. This is bullshit. Six balls. Six balls. I, for some reason, I was like, I expected you to say a dozen balls.
Starting point is 01:00:13 Six is a lot. A dozen. We kill the dog. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. That should be the next bigger go home. Hey, listen, dude, perfect.
Starting point is 01:00:22 If you want your next trick shot, just jam 12 balls into Cody's mouth. Yeah. If he's still alive, we haven't seen him. But that's what I'm saying. It'd be a good way to hypothetically let us know where Cody is off Cody. Bark of code. I bet you one of them listens probably because we bashed the ginger beard. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:38 And they're like, this is awesome. The twins standing up for us. The twins definitely text each other and they're like, hey, they did it again last night. They got them. FAQs. Sup pandemic FT and big Corona. If the Corona virus pandemic somehow turned into a zombie apocalypse, what location would you try to reach for the best possibility of survival?
Starting point is 01:00:56 I would go to Adam Morrison's bunker. The Adam Morrison's bunker East River with like, I think zombies don't go in water. No, that's I've never been a really big zombie guy. Zombies don't go in water. Is that true? It's gremlins. No, I think zombies can't swim. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:15 And again, I've never been a zombie. I haven't either. It's weird that zombies became like a thing that everybody talked about, right? Right. Like even fun and cod, but the movies and stuff. Yeah. I'm never shot of the dead. Like that's maybe we'll do that for Barstow gold.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Zombie land. Oh yeah. By the way, Barstow gold.com slash PMT. We should do that. We should interview someone who's just really into zombies. We're also also working on a handball expert. Oh, that's huge. I feel like zombie guys are the same like, uh, internet people as epic bacon guys.
Starting point is 01:01:45 Yeah. You know, like, ooh, I love zombies and bacon. Sriracha. Yeah. They definitely brew their own beer too. It's my identity. They got their eye. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:55 They, they brew their own beer in, in their, uh, in their basement. My zombie IPA. Mm hmm. Hey, dad, cat and PFT Kaku Sator. Okay. Was that a thing? Cut. No idea.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Kiss both of them. I think it's CAUC. Caucus Sator. Okay. Caucus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll all get dressed up Yeah. and we'll have a buttload of fake credentials ready to go. And then we won't even go in. We'll just hang out.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Yeah, we totally won't go in. You're right. We're not going to go in. We won't. But other people will. Hey, slim commentary and Shortkat was wondering if it's okay to skip a quiz in a class. I've already failed twice to go to a concert on a Tuesday night. Mr. Kat and Mr. commentary back to you?
Starting point is 01:03:05 Flip to quiz twice? Also shout out Hank and Liam. Ha, quiz. Oh, quiz is supposed to be easy. This is a class, unless it's like a five-question quiz or something. One of those test or hard. No, this is a class that he's failed twice nobody said the quiz he's failed twice if it's okay to skip a quiz in a class I've already failed. Yeah, probably shouldn't I'm beginning to see a pattern of maybe why you failed this class twice
Starting point is 01:03:25 Yeah, go for it. Go for it. No, just be you. What did we learn earlier today from Baker Mayfield? Yeah, just be you Guinness Book of World Records of most times failed this of the same class Go for it. Just cheat. Why haven't you cheated yet? The second time you went through that class you should have cheated Yeah, well this finally be the year we can get a Mount Rushmore of airports. Oh Probably not. Yeah, yeah, we'll definitely do that Sure, we do we are we do talk about doing airport reviews more of them on the wreck We were gonna do a new Orleans. We talked about it Flash mob airport review New Orleans airport was excellent. I can't even remember. It's a lot better than it used to be boom reviewed
Starting point is 01:04:15 All right, last one. What's up guys? I've been battling with the case of a sore throat and stuffy nose all week all Corona jokes all Corona virus jokes aside I'm trying to decide whether I should play in my intramural three-on-three basketball game If I play and do well on the legend like Jordan's flu game If I play and do poorly my friends will hate me. Give me some guidance, please Don't be the asshole to get everyone else sick But don't be the asshole to lose your team intramural championship. He's their best player doesn't say Is he the my good subs not their best player? Do they have subs on this team? That's that's a big question three on three
Starting point is 01:04:48 If you're one might be the only sub. Okay, so if you're it's three on three basketball Mm-hmm the fuck into mural three and three basketball big three I Say do it. Yeah, go ahead and do it I say do it just drink a lot of Gatorade beforehand Yeah, bring that ice thing that Jordan put on the back of his neck. Yeah, do it do it my team on your back Yeah, and then if you don't win just say you're not sick So wait till the end if you win be like, hey, guess what guys? I'm really really sick if you don't win just like I'm fine and then watch them all get sick
Starting point is 01:05:20 Also, good news is you're gonna get your opponent sick So if they beat you true you get the last laugh cough on them Maybe wear a mask while you're playing that would be actually very intimidating. Yeah mine games mine games All right, we'll see everyone on Monday. Enjoy your weekend Football's back football is back and OV just scored his 700th goal. There you go You're predicting I'm predicting I'm gonna be at the caps game Saturday night I'm gonna see him score two more goals and now now he's officially better than Wayne Gretzky perfect. Love you guys Oh
Starting point is 01:06:47 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh It's part of my take presented by bar stool sports You

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