Pardon My Take - Baseball Legend Keith Hernandez + NBA Finals

Episode Date: June 4, 2018

NBA Finals Game 2 and the Cavs are dead. JR Smith's hot seat gets hotter and Lebron's eye makes everyone want to puke (2:27 - 14:27). The Caps are a wagon and DC is feeling a Championship for the first time in forever (14:27 - 21:59). Who's back of the week including a stay woke on Melania Trump not being seen in 23 straight days (21:59 - 33:44). Mets Legend Keith Hernandez joins the show to talk about his new book, what it was like playing for the 86 Mets, his cat Hadji, and what baseball can improve today (33:44 - 68:33). Segments include Humans vs The Sun/Talking Tennis, Hockey Tough for Brandon Prust, PR 101 for Buffalo Wild Wings getting hacked, Hurt or injured Clay Matthers, and thoughts and prayers for Nick Saban. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we talk NBA Finals Game 2, Who's Back of the Week, and a great interview with Metz legend Keith Hernandez. Really fun time. He's got a new book out. Really fun guy to talk to before we get to all of that.

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It's part of my take, and presented by Baal School Spokers. Welcome to part of my take, presented by SeatGeek. Today is Monday, June 4th, and the Cleveland Cavaliers are dead. Ooh, you're calling it? Dead. Was that LeBron James' last road game as a Cleveland Cavalier? Dead. So, so dead.

That was the game, like all the naysayers about the Warriors Cav series, and how they didn't want to see it again, and the Warriors so much better. Game two was proof positive of that theory. Game one, the Cav should've won, should've stolen one, should've made this a series. Now they, I do think the Cavs will win a game at home, but that was like, when, when David West is hitting threes, when Javail McGee and Sean Livingston go 11 for 11 from the field. Javail McGee had a Christian Laitner game.

He was perfect. And I, I don't think that- So, Sean Livingston. Yeah, yeah. Javail, I don't think he's shot a shot. He just had like five dunks, right? He just put it in the basket. And so that, when those things happen, like the Warriors are already unbelievable as is,

and then you have those guys, the Bums, who, and the Cavs Bums are just doing nothing. It's not even fair. And Steph Curry's just throwing the ball into the hoop. Like he, at some point, he just throws it up, and it looks like, it looks like you or I are throwing a prayer up, but he knows exactly what he's doing, he's putting the perfect arc, and it's a swish. And I hate how cocky he is after he shoots it. He's firing up like a 35 footer, and it's in the air, and everyone's like, what the

hell was that? And he's just like, he's already doing the Jordan, Jordan drug, walking out of the court, and of course it goes in. He is so goddamn good. They were absolutely cooked in this game when they withstood the third quarter years, the Warriors third quarter, and I think the Cavs outscored him in the third, right? And they were still getting their asses kicked. And I have a question for you.

I don't think the torch is going back to Kevin Durant, but is Steph Curry, because this was the one big thing that the Steph Curry haters not saying there's anyone out there, but he does choose mouth garden in an annoying way. He's growing like an Abe Lincoln beard. Another guy that took a lot of unwieldy shots. He's taking Andrew Luck's beard from him. Yeah. Stolen Valor.

But the big knock on Steph Curry was he was never the best guy in the finals when his teams won, and tonight he was the best guy for the Warriors. So we're not the first title though. Andrea Guadala won MVP. Yeah, but. That was, yeah, Andrea Guadala won MVP. That had a lot to do with defense. But if you don't win the MVP, I mean, that's, you can't say that you were the best guy

on your team, right? So now Steph Curry, could he finally get the torch pass to him for an off season by winning an MVP? I think the torch goes to the referees. Yes. The rest were also bad. They take the torch from Kevin Durant. A combination game went on too.

Like they followed it up. At least they're consistent. They're consistently bad. My favorite part of the game was when, um, when Jeff Angundi was getting mad at the refs for teeing up Tai Lu and saying that Tai Lu is being unfairly punished because he's too polite. Yeah. He doesn't, yeah.

It's like when a Canadian person like says, Hey, God damn it. You're like, Oh, whoa, what's up? Dude, that's, that's fighting words. Yeah, things we can't take back off the handle. No, it, Jeff Angundi, the refs sucking sucks as an NBA fan, except for when Jeff Angundi is calling the game because he gets extra surly and he starts going after Mike brain. He starts going after Mark jet.

Well, he always kind of goes after Mark Jackson, but Jeff Angundi getting like, you know, old man yelling a cloud kind of took, took like center stage for this game. It was basically the staff and Jeff Angundi show. Yeah. Yeah. And Jeff was very clearly also talking a little bit about himself and that when he was like, man, it sucks when the, when the officials penalize a coach who's normally very polite and soft spoken and really nice guy, male pattern baldness is

totally like, how could that guy find anyone? You know, all he's going to do is just grab onto Lonzo morning's leg and roll around. How can you punish that guy? That's not fair. And then Mark Jackson, uh, we'll say it like Jeff Angundi will use the word participate and Mark Jackson book. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay, do you use that word when you're growing up? Okay. Take it easy now. It's one of them $10 words now. Coach Jeff Angundi. Um, yeah. So basically that, that sums up game too, is that we have more notes on the announcing staff than we, than we do on the actual game.

The other story lines, LeBron's eye is full blown red, like really disgusting. That one shot, you know what it looked like? You know, when your dog goes to sleep right before it falls asleep and it's like extra eyelid flaps over weird slit, the prolapsed eyelid. Yeah. That makes you just like, oh, gross. That can't be my dog. That's what LeBron looks like.

It looks like LeBron is a Phantom of the Opera, except for the half mask. It's just a print out of goat's sea. Yes. Yes. Just got butthole lie. Yeah. He, yeah, exactly. Big time butthole lie from LeBron.

And then the other story is JR Smith. Uh, somehow I think his seat just got hotter because the only way, yeah, because he's got a lot of, like half, he's got a lot of roaches underneath it. Well, he's, his seat is hotter and hotter because that game one should, they should have won. He finally, like yesterday came out and said, you know what, um, now that I've had some time to think about it, I didn't, as I exact quote was, I can't say I was sure of anything at that point.

So he admits that he didn't know the score and to go in his tombstone. Yeah. And then he, uh, basically submitted, like I was like, JR Smith's going to have a bounce back leg, JR Smith, focus, focus JR Smith. You don't want that. It's never happened before. And then he sucked again. He sucked again, but he had a great spin zone.

He said, I'm glad that if this happened to somebody, if it had to happen to somebody, I'm glad that it happened to me because he's going to get so high and forget about it because I'm the only person I know that can deal with this appropriately. Yeah. He has the kush to back it up. I've got a gas mask bomb, bomb from Laramie Tunsel and I'm just going to live inside of it like a hyperbaric chamber. My wife set up a gravity bomb in our, uh, in our jacuzzi.

So I'll be set. I don't worry guys, don't worry about me. I'm not going to beat myself up over this. I got, I got a jacuzzi full of Hennessy that I'm going to gravity bong out of. I'm not going to put a shirt on for two days as punishment. He took his shirt off right away after the game. I don't deserve to wear a collar. Um, do you think that the calves lost this game when LeBron went back to the shorts?

Cause I do. Yeah. Uh, that's, I don't get me wrong. Shorts are definitely back, but he got co-opted by Draymond Green. Yes. Green showed up in some dress shorts too. I think that's the new look. It's like ACDC chic.

Well, ACDC. Draymond said that he, he should be getting credit for shorts, not LeBron. And I say that I should be getting shorts, not credit for shorts, not Draymond or LeBron. I should be getting credit for shorts. And then you get in credit for shorts. Who invented shorts? Past LeBron getting credit for, past LeBron used to always wear shorts. So congrats to future LeBron on copying past LeBron style.

Who invented shorts? Uh, I think a caveman, right? No, it's got to be some fucking English loser who's like, oh, we're going to just cut our shorts and make them chaps and all that bullshit. Shorts. I'm looking. Shorts. The history of shorts.

That would be a very good Wikipedia. I think we did that already. Topic. Yeah. Because I'm looking at the picture and it looks like you've clicked on that link before. In British English, the term short trousers, those fucking assholes in England. And they may, and you know, they don't really do shorts. They do the fake ass shorts.

They do like the Boy Scout shorts. Yeah. Well, I mean, ostriches kind of invented shorts too. True. They just got those skinny skin legs hanging out. Yeah. Did you guys know Knickerbockers were actually our shorts? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Did know that. Yeah. Fun fact. Yeah. All right. So game two, I mean, the Cavs are dead.

When I say they're dead, I mean, they could win a game, maybe even two games, but there's nothing short of like Clay Thompson and Kevin Durant both getting injured that would make the Cavs win this series. Right. I think, yeah, I think if KD got injured, then it would be close because they have no defensive matchup for KD. Like watching a bunch of dudes who were six foot two trying to guard a fadeaway by Kevin Durant.

Jeff Green was supposed to be the KD stopper. He still could be. Yeah. He absolutely could be. LeBron also, credit to LeBron, saved a lot of energy tonight by not running, by making his team play five on four in a couple of possessions. So you guys just don't understand Galaxy Brain here. Galaxy Brain LeBron, if he just never goes back on defense, then in the fourth quarter

of the seventh game that's not going to happen, he will have fresh legs to hit all those three. Yeah. He's going to be, he's going to be hanging on really powerfully to the back of the banana boat. Yes. He's not getting tossed off that this off season. I'm just happy that Steph is not injured anymore. Yeah. Well, the question now becomes, is LeBron more tired than Steph is injured?

Yes. And I think right now we can say definitely yes. It is, it's always funny to me, they're watching like LeBron's cast of characters around him and just how comically inept they are. Yeah. I mean, Kendrick Perkins is doing his job. You could actually say he's the one guy. He showed up.

He delivered. George Hill, George Hill bounced back from basically, George Hill is the luckiest man in the world, by the way. The fact that George Hill missing a free throw at the end of the game is never going to be talked about again because of JR Smith. George Hill needs to buy JR Smith that gravity bong he's been eyeing. Yeah. Like he needs a little Christmas present.

You got breaking news? Oh. I've got a, I've got a Mike Greenberg's dumb rule for, just for LeBron. Yeah. One of LeBron James's teammates should be allowed to do steroids. I'd say two. I'd give him, yeah. Okay.

Here. Two and then one gets to play on stilts. Fair, we'll give him two, but every foul that your steroid player commits is a flagrant foul. Yeah. Okay. Do you think they could win? Yeah. No.

I think, no. Here's another one. I'll throw another Mike Greenberg's dumb rule. The, the Cavs should be allowed to goaltend. Let's just see what happens then. I like that too. Like so just let one guy stand under the hoop and try to knock all the balls out with Steph. Because Steph would probably still score 35 by doing the raindrop shot.

Right. How, how many points do you think LeBron would score? Well, if you told LeBron James, if you score 70 points in a game, you get to punch Dan Gilbert in the face with absolutely no repercussions. Do you think he could do it? Yeah. If you score 70 points in a game, we'll change the code behind MJ vs LeBron Donnet and let you win 65% of the time.

There you go. Yeah. What if the Cass had fat 30 for 30, 30 rebounds, 30 points to Kevin Love? By the way, Kevin loves haircut. That's, that's a, that's a man's haircut. That's a finals haircut. What do they say on the simpsons? That's a haircut you can set your watch to.

Yeah. They like it. And like, he looks clean. That's a haircut he looks like he let us call a drewmate, like give it to him. He actually, Kevin Love played well tonight, I think. I don't even know. Yeah. He played pretty good.

I'm pretty sure he played well. He like, Kevin Love is at the point now where he's not going to do anything where you're like, wow, Kevin Love, but he'll be pretty steady and give you the second best player on the cap. If he got fat again, people would be like, wow, Kevin Love. Oh man, that Kevin Love UCLA jersey when he was super fat was awesome. And he wore those like big, ugly Adidas shoes. Yeah. The ones that were like six sizes too, too fat for him.

Yes. By the way, last thing on the NBA finals, did you see there was Richard Jefferson, who we actually need to get back on the show? Maybe Friday. I'll text him. But Richard Jefferson, I got his number. Pretty sick brag. He said that LeBron might go to Portland because it's closer to Nike, which I have ruled out.

You've ruled out. So conflicting sources. Kevin Love was 22 points and 10 rebounds. Pretty much. You could close your eyes and just like, I didn't have to tell you that he went 22. Yeah, 22-10 and had two outlet passes, two full court outlet passes. One open three that could have switched the momentum in the game. I do still love the occasional outlet pass that we get from where he just like,

he does a chest pass and goes the full length. He's a better, he'd be better quarterback than almost everybody on the back of that jersey in Cleveland. Yes. Maybe not Tim Couch. We were told Tim Couch, not a bust. Yes. Brazzarians was very firm on Tim Couch, not a bust. All right.

The other news, the caps. Our caps. Our caps. Strong. Strong boys. Strong. Strong boys out there. You just feel it.

Remember, I mean, we were feeling it. Uh-huh. You just feel like we were feeling it. We were feeling it. You say there were the caps, you just feel the strength. We were feeling it. Now we're feeling it. Feeling it.

Now we're feeling it. So much so you had actually a Stanley Cup celebrate. That was a wagon. Yeah, and I don't apologize for you. No, you shouldn't. You may have seen me spraying champagne at the bar. I have no regrets that people say act like you've been there before. Guess what?

I haven't. I haven't. I've never been there before. Listen, it's like Sting did the pregame, right? Yeah. Sting played in the pregame concert. How many times did he come? It's like if Sting made fun of me for not lasting long enough the first time I ever had sex.

Right. I've never been there before. Let me just have my fun and spray everywhere. I'm totally fine with that. I think you should enjoy the ride. The fun part of winning a championship is the ride, is going and watching every single game. But like I said, there's a huge asterisk.

If the caps somehow lose, that'll be a very unfortunate video that we do not want retweeted. I regret nothing. I will never regret that. Yeah, that'll be just an unfortunate thing to be out there. So the good thing is the caps stole one at home. They're a great road team. They're not a good home team.

So they stole a game at home. I'm feeling very, very confident. I'm going to be down at game four on Monday. Is Pat Sajak going to be there again? Pat, he better. Pat Sajak way better than Lil Jon and Michael Buffer. He was electric. Did you see him go out there?

I like that there is like an arms race to see who could do the best. Because you don't bring, if Vegas doesn't do Imagine Dragons and Lil Jon, Pat Sajak probably doesn't show up. No, yeah. Yeah, absolutely not. Are you kidding me? And they had Keenan in between periods.

Wait, Keenan Thompson? Yeah, Keenan Thompson. Hey, Keenan Thompson. They brought out all the A-listers. They had, yeah, they had it. Shaggy. Shaggy. Sting.

Fucking killing it. It was basically 1998. Yeah. It was John, DC is just living in the late 90s. John Gruden designed a hockey ceremony. Joe Gibbs was there. Come on now. Hey, hey, you grab that thing.

You run like, hang. That's, that's how, that's, that's exactly that side. Joe Gibbs is the perfect like explanation for how badly DC needs a championship. Because Joe Gibbs is your walking championship. Yes. It's like, hey, remember that guy? Title town, baby.

He won something. Title town. He's barely alive and he won something. The best part about this Caps Run, besides all the joy that it's bringing, well, all of our listeners too, because you guys are all Caps fans. I just want to say this again, the bandwagon is open.

I'm declaring you all to be Caps fans. Oh, it's wide open. Yeah, wide open. We will take everybody on board. I'm not going to be one of you. PFT will actually cash app each one of you. If you declare your Caps fandom, he will cash app you each $10.

Some restrictions apply. The best part about it besides all that is, is the, hang on, I just fucking lost my train of thought because I was thinking about cash app. No, no, no. You're going to cash app him. Okay, I'm going to cash app. Okay, yeah.

But you're going to cash app him. What I really do like about this run that we're on is that Dan Snyder is sitting somewhere so pissed off. Oh, yeah. So, so mad that the sports team in Washington, you see is winning something. He's probably sitting on a Six Flags. He's probably sitting lonely, like sitting on a roller coaster.

By himself. That's not going. Yes. Yeah, just turn those machines on. He's suspended himself upside down. I want to feel something. On a roller coaster. Yeah.

Yeah. Just letting all the blood rush to his head. Yeah. Maybe he'll just hit, you know what? I could see Dan Snyder. It's a little vampire back. If the caps win the Stanley Cup, Dan Snyder just like signed TO to attend your contract.

Oh yeah. TO, Des Bryant, Albert Hanger, bring him back. Bring Hainesworth back in. Dion Sanders looks like he can still play. Yep. Jeff George. Yeah. He can throw the ball around a little bit.

He can give Tony Romo a max deal. Uh-huh. Tony's like, I'm not playing, but yeah, we'll still give you a max deal. We're going to play you though. We're going to pay you. You don't have to play. Yeah. He's going to do something to steal the headlines.

Joe Thysman. Let's get him back out there. All right. So the caps, they're a wagon. Let's ask the question. Is there an Imagine Dragons curse? Good question. Yeah.

Maybe we can sort that out. Is there a John Taffer's curse? It probably, well, there's definitely a Taffer curse. Taffer's definitely a curse. Uh-huh. It's a curse on everyone. I would say, yeah, more so Imagine Dragons than John Taffer. What I'm really excited for at game four, Fall Out Boy.

So we're amping up the star power for game four. Nice. Fall Out Boy and, I don't know, maybe we'll have the guy that announces Jeopardy. Not Alex Trebek. No, no, no. The guy that, the big voice. The big, no, actually we'll get the judges that Alex looks at off screen. Why is Fall Out Boy playing?

Why? Because they fucking rock. Okay. But they're from Illinois. Yeah. So? Okay. I was just wondering, like what, we can't get Foo Fighters?

The best, no. I think they're on tour. I think they're overseas right now. Jesus Christ. Eddie Vedder stopped his tour in South America. Fall Out Boy's biggest song is about going down while swinging. It's about losing, but fighting. Yeah.

So that, let's go. That's not, okay. Fine. That works. Yeah. Let's go. Hopefully. DC Legends.

Are you worried now? I feel like you just got worried. No, I'm not. I'm not worried. I want the, I want the celebrities to get more C, D, F, D. I went out of order. Smash Mouth. Smash Mouth is sitting at their phone right now.

Yes. They are waiting for a call. I wanted to keep trickling down until it's like the drummer from Sugar Ray, the bass player from No Doubt, and then eventually me. Yeah. You, you, you are somewhere on there. Yeah. If it goes, if this series goes 17.

Yeah. This series went like 25 games, I think they'd probably consider at least, maybe letting me play the organ. No, they probably just have Dave Portnoy. Be like, he's the one who gave PFT a life. Yes. I, yeah. So he'll announce this game.

Yeah. PFT commenters dad. All right. Let's see who's back. Who, by the way, Tiger might be back. Not really. He, he did the classic Tiger back. Everyone's like, oh, Tiger.

He's back. Well, he hold that one out for you. 23rd. Yeah. Yeah. But he's back. He's kind of back. He's back.

So back. All right. Hank, go ahead. I have a few, one of them was shorts, obviously, but we covered that, but shorts are back in a big way. Real rap beef is back. So the Drake push of T beef is kind of over. I guess this media mogul guy named Jay Prince called Drake, told him not to respond.

And that's like Drake's mentor or whatever. So. So he lost. Yeah. And there's not, he's not. That's an L. Yeah. Big time.

Wow. Didn't think Drake would take it out. He's taking the high road though. And Connie be squashed it too. Well, I think it was the same guy. Like the same guy was doing bathroom deals being like, let's squash this beef. So push of T killed Drake. How could, no, you can't, Drake cannot stop.

He's still going to come out with an album. We'll probably have some subtle shots, but I don't think he's going to come out with a full on this track. Lions don't concern themselves with opinions of sheep. Yeah. Fuck. That's push of T doesn't have a child that he, an illegitimate child that he's like shunning.

Slash Drake is also very scared. Yeah. I'm just going to say Drake doesn't have the bars. No, he doesn't. But thankfully, New York rapper Takashi69, who I'm sure you're very familiar with, he's been beefing with Chief Keef on social media. Chief Keef my guy.

Takashi's from New York. Chief Keef from Chicago. Chief Keef was in New York this weekend and got shot outside of his hotel. Oh, he got shot at. Shot at. Shot at. Didn't get hit. Thank God.

Was it the FBI break dancer guy? Was it that the guy that shot him? No. Yeah. That guy was awesome. Yeah. That was you can't. You can't like.

You can't fire him. Okay. Do you see so. So did you see the video? Yeah. For people who didn't see the video, there was an FBI guy in Denver who was feeling it. And there was like the dance circle that you have to get in if the dance circle starts.

He did a flip and then his gun fell. And then he went to pick it up and it discharged and shot a guy in the leg. Guy's okay. I like how the news explanation has always been the gun discharged. Yeah. And somebody was hit by a bullet. Not like the guy shot. Yeah.

The guy shot someone. But you can't like you can't fire someone for feeling a dance circle. Well, I was like, if you've ever been at a wedding, any kind of party, there's nothing more awkward than a dance circle where no one goes in. So this guy had to go in. He did an unbelievable move. Okay. So maybe suspend him for a couple of days.

This also, by the way, Stay Well could just be whatever that Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg movie two is. That could be just, they could just be filming. They're already made. Three. Three. Okay. So they're making the turn.

Three. I must have missed two. Okay. Kevin Hart's in this one probably. Fuck. I can't believe I missed that. Yeah. I think that you don't fire him, but for a different reason.

He's a perfect cautionary tale. Also, it makes the FBI look kind of cool. Yeah. It's like people forget about the FBI sometimes. Dude did a flip. Dude did a flip. He, yeah, he went backwards. And to his credit, he put his hand up.

He goes, hey, that's on me. Yeah, should have shot the guy. Yeah, should have had the safety on. I'm a bigger man. I can admit I made a mistake and accidentally shot that guy when I did a backflip and my gun fell out. Backflip was cool. Also, he's a cautionary tale. You just, you use him as like a training example for all the new guys that come in

before they get the windbreaker. That's like what you get, like the Browns get a stripe on their helmet. Yeah. The FBI, you get your like blue windbreaker or whatever. I think so. Before you get your blue windbreaker, you have to sit down in a seminar and this guy will tell you how to properly holster a gun when you're breakdown. This guy in Plasco Burrs.

Yes. They sit there and they tell you everything about gun safety inside bars. So yeah, Ratbeef is back. And also the car stick. So the first run, we sold out thousands and seconds. It was like one of those things where they go on sale. By the time you're fresh, it was already sold out. Gone.

Putting out a couple more today. So keep an eye out. Last time, limited time offer. Dude. Never to be on sale again. I used one the other day. I have one in my car. And let me tell you, I actually had the phone actually was underneath my seat.

But I did for a moment have the car stick. It didn't do anything. But it was for that moment, I was like, got a car stick. It's really a multi-purpose tool. It's like the Swiss Army knife of wooden planks. Like I used to just scratch my back the other day. It was great. How many times have you been out and just been like,

I wish I could play mini hockey right now. But you don't have anything. Every time. Exactly. Yeah, every time. Every time. All the time. Now you do.

Yeah. So you got to buy two. Yeah. For you and your friend. So it's just, and also a ball. We should put a ball. Oh, it's a, you know what? And a couple nets.

They make a great Father's Day gift. Yeah. Great Father's Day gift. Buy a bunch for your dad. He'll love it. He'll love the car stick. Like here's your stick. Actually, I could picture dad's loving car sticks.

Yeah. That's a pretty big note. You get older, your hands get swollen, you can't reach down between the seats anymore. Because you, well, I was going to say just because you didn't get him a tie or a book about Jackie Robinson. That was mostly why I love it. Or you could use it as a shoe horn

so you could slip into his air monarchs more easily. Yeah. Yeah. Really multi-purpose. Yeah. What do you have, PFT? I'll dovetail off Hank's shameless self-promotion. Pop-Punk music is back.

Oh. So tickets are on sale for Pop-Punk. My Pop-Punk band that I'm in with Roan, Frankie, and Robbie Fox here at the office. We are playing at the Irving Plaza on July 12th. Tickets are almost sold out. I think we've got maybe 150 left out of 1200. So buy them now, July 12th.

Buy the car stick first. Then buy it. Because you'll have enough time. You'll have enough time. And that way, when you get your tickets for the show, if they fall down between your seat and the console, you can fish them out. Very important.

Buy the car stick, and then buy the tickets, and then tape your tickets to the car stick so that you don't lose them. I will autograph every car stick that gets brought to that show. And cash up anyone who says they root for the caps. Yeah. Results may vary.

My other who's back of the week is Cuntstown. Oh. Cuntstown. OK. They won the college rugby championship. Nice. In sevens. Wow.

So yeah. Rugby real relatable. Cuntstown. So what are their odds for next weekend? Shout out to Samantha B. Where are they? They play next weekend. No, they won.

Where is Cuntstown? It's either Pennsylvania or Ohio. Got it. I thought there was like 12 championships a year. Pensayo. No, that's Hank. You're talking about the World Series of Sevens. Oh.

OK, so what is that? Of course. Where are we in that? Well, we're pretty good. What number are we at though? I think we're fifth. But what fourth or fifth? What number game tournament?

Like 11. We're like 11. But then after all this is over, then how many playoffs? That's going to be used to determine the seedings for the World Cup of Sevens, which takes place in San Francisco. When is that? So that's in July.

OK. And that's the real finals. And then next year we just do it all again? Yeah, then we do it all over again. It's beautiful. It's fucking great. It's a beautiful cycle. OK, my other who's back of the week is World Peace.

Because North Korea is bringing a McDonald's to their nation. There we go. And as we've learned on this show, no two countries have ever- We made this fact up. No, this is a real economic thing. Yeah, I know. We made it up, though.

As we learned. Yeah, as we learned. No two nations that have McDonald's have ever had a war against each other. Please credit us for inventing that economic principle. I think it's actually like a brilliant technique to make Donald Trump like your country. Because he loves McDonald's.

He loves KFC. What does he call him? The fish filet sandwich? Yeah, I think he's just a street hamburger guy. No, he calls it a McFish, I think. That's good, too. He loves the McFish. Never had one.

I've been in Latvia and I couldn't find anything to eat. I saw McDonald's, figured it would be good. It was disgusting. McDonald's does not taste the same in every country. What about Taco Bell? I'm sure Taco Bell would taste the same. It tastes exactly the same. Because they have standards.

They have practices as well. My other who's back of the week is True Love. So World Peace is back and True Love is back. Because John Cena is back together with his fiance. So he's done thinking about your four nipples and my deep belly button. He wants to fuck. Listen, he did a little rum springer.

Yeah. Where he was like, you know what? I got to get these rocks off. Got to go to these podcasters. I can't put that out of my mind. Got me real horny. Yeah, so I just got to sew my wild oats all deep inside Big Cat's belly button and rub my frenulum

on PFT's third nipple and then I'll just go back to my wife. Nicky Bella? Nicky Bella. Is that her name? I think so. She had no choice but had to take it back because he did that sad interview on Good Morning America when he's like, I just sit in my house all by myself

and then every now and then I'll go out and just try to talk to people. It's like, he basically did the like, I'm pregnant. To like the equivalent of I'm pregnant to a guy. He faked the pregnant. He should have said you're pregnant. He should have sprung a pregnancy on her that she didn't know about yet.

Did you check your piss yet? You're pregnant. You're pregnant. So we got to stay together. Yeah. Jeez, John Cena. OK, good for you, man. I have a Revelle Times headline for that.

You ready? OK. It's, and if you don't know what the Revelle Times is, it's Terry Revelle's. So first of all, yeah, good point. No. You're not cool if you don't know what the Revelle Times is. If you don't read the Revelle Times,

we don't want you to listen to this show. Here's the headline. Cena Returns to Ring. Got it. Got it? Yep. Pretty good, right? I like that.

All right, Revelle, go ahead. Use that one. Do you have my permission? Mm-hmm. He will definitely use it. He will absolutely use it. He probably already did it. Yeah.

The Revelle Times. So, I mean, the Revelle Times comes out before any other major newspaper. That's very true. Yeah. It's the first edition. It's the first edition. All right.

I got two hoos back. My first is college baseball and softball, which I love because you get the ping of the bat and you also get like weird names and great storylines. Do you see this woman on UCLA named Bubba? No. There's a Bubba Nichols. Is her name?

That's an incredible name. Yeah. And then an announcer was like, I call her Bubba Benjamin's because she's worth more than that. I was like, okay. No. You don't change Bubba Nichols' name. Bubba Nichols.

You don't mess with perfection. That was like trying to reinvent the flavor for Coke. I love it because I love to meet Bubba Nichols father because you know that Bubba Nichols father was like, I'm having a boy and he's playing offensive line in the SEC. And then it was like, oh, it's a girl. All right. Well, we're still going with Bubba Nichols.

I love it. One of my favorite parts about college World Series is the little kids in the outfield fighting for balls. Yeah. Little kids fighting for balls. Like the scrub on the team putting everyone's hat on his head at the same time. Rain delays.

It's great. It's, you know, it's when sports are sports. Like iBlack that covers their entire, like it gets dangerously close to blackface. Yes. Looks like Jimmy Kimmel playing Carl Malone. Yeah. Oh, people forget that.

Yeah, people do. People really forget that. Uh-huh. The 90s were a weird time. Very much forgot. I think that was in 2000s. Yeah, nice. Yeah, might have been.

It feels like you really forget that. Feels like the 1890s. Yeah. And then my other who's back is conspiracy theories because I went down a deep rabbit hole. You did it again. You did it again. You did it again.

Documents. Yeah. Melania Trump, 23 days without being seen in public. People actually think she's dead and it's fucking awesome to read about. Did you read the tweet that she put out a couple of days ago? Yes. In Donald Trump's like...

And people like broke it down into like the phrases that she used and they're like, well, Donald Trump has used these phrases in his tweets. She's not going on, he's going like on an international tour. She's not going. Still hasn't been seen. This is, this is the shit we live for.

Uh-huh. Like I hope, I hope she's just, it actually is genius. If I could totally see like President Trump being like, let's just have Melania never be shown in public again, just so there's always like a conspiracy theory in my back pocket that can take, like take control of the media narrative at any point. Like if things go south for me, I'll just be like, well, where's my wife?

Well, it's pretty, yeah, it's interesting because she can be, maybe Donald Trump's going to like put all the Russia stuff onto her. Like she's going to be the fall guy for everything. But she won't be able to be found. She's Kaiser Soze. Yeah. People think that that was actually Donald Trump's phone that was making all these calls to these oligarchs

but in reality it's like a major uh, Kalangelo situation where his wife was the one that was doing all of it. Um, how is he still, how is he still employed? Kalangelo. Kalangelo, good question. They're doing the investigation Hank. Also when you have a collar that it's that assertive, people kind of back off and they give you a little bit of respect.

I think honestly they're just hoping that like something else happens. They're just like, all right, if maybe the Cavs win a couple games, Kevin Durant will start bashing Russell Westbrook on one of his burners and we don't have to fire this guy. Or maybe like some, some new footage of Markelle Foltz trying to shoot a foul, foul side. Yeah, there's gotta be something. And he's only got one arm now.

Yeah. Cut his other one off at the elbow. It's, it is weird. It is a little weird. I mean, his birthday was on Friday. Well, yeah, you can't fire a guy on his birthday. Can't fire a guy on his birthday but he missed a golden opportunity to wish himself a happy birthday from all five of his burner accounts.

Yeah. Like that would have been, I actually think that they wouldn't, I think they wouldn't have fired him and everyone would be like, haha, that's actually kind of funny. And it would have been good. All good. All right. Let's get to our interview with Keith Hernandez before we do that.

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All right. Here he is. Keith Hernandez. All right. We now welcome on World Series Champion, legend of baseball and Renaissance man, Keith Hernandez. He has a new book out. It's called I'm Keith Hernandez.

Let's start with the book. How'd you come up with the name? Well, it actually is twofold. Obviously, it's the iconic Seinfeld line. You were in Seinfeld? I was in Seinfeld. I got to kiss Elaine. What episode?

On the show, you were Elaine's boyfriend? No, I tried. Which one was Elaine? Was that the fat short? No, she was the short cute one. I've seen every episode of Seinfeld. I don't think you were on Seinfeld. What are you talking about?

Oh, I wasn't the soup Nazi. Okay. You were in Seinfeld? I was in Seinfeld. Interesting. All right. They let you on TV. They did.

And you did that line? Yes. We're just fucking with you. Because we just assume every interview starts with, hey, Keith, remember when you were on Seinfeld? I wanted to bust your balls because I wanted nothing more in my life than to kiss Julie Louis-Dreyfus. I was like eight years old.

So I'm going to keep it in your pants. She's my crush. So it is the famous line, and it also is your name. Talk to us about the book real quick. You wrote the book. This is your fifth book? Yes. What are you trying to prove?

Nothing. Okay. Trying to make money. Yeah, okay. Now that's a good answer. That is the correct answer. I got a house. I got a mortgage.

I want to pay it off. Yeah, exactly. So the book takes you through your entire career? No, it does not. It takes, it's my formative years. It ends in 1980, May 1st, when I realized that I finally had, I realized I was a major league player. So it's my youth, my minor leagues, and my days in the Cardinals.

And a little bit of Mets. It doesn't, it's not in chronological order because I didn't come to the Mets to 83. But there is some Mets stuff in there. But basically my ups and downs and my trials, on my path to where I wound up. And so that moment that, you know, basically is the end of the book.

You had, did you have that moment that you can look back on and be like, okay, that's when it all clicked. That's when I knew that I was going to make it in the major leagues and be a great star here. Yes, that particular day, I had never had a good April. And I always had a, I had a, first two years, I struggled really badly and got sent down.

77, I had a breakout year. 78, I just had a terrible second half. 79, I had my MVP batting title year. So I'd never put two years together. And I always had trouble in April. So when after April ended on May 1st, so whatever my hit was, I was standing on the bag and I was just wearing it out.

And I said, I am here and I'm a major leaguer. So I like that you're setting it up for a sequel then. You're a very wise man. It's nice, you got a feel. You don't look wise, but you're named. No, I figure that's why you wear the glasses. I look dumber than shit. Now are we going to be lost if we read this book

and we haven't read the other four? No, you're not going to be lost. Okay, well, you can learn how to sell a fucking book, Keith. But this might... Yes, you're going to be lost. Go buy the other four books. Yes, it's like Game of Thrones. It sets up a sequel too.

But you can buy this one. You can jump in the middle. Yes. We had Anthony Rizzo on the show not too long ago. And every time we have a first baseman on, I ask this question, why do you guys wear a different mitt? Because Anthony didn't know. He was just like, they just gave me this mitt

when I was playing. Why do you need your own glove? He has a diva position. No, I need a different glove than a... Other bigger gloves. Yeah, bigger glove. It is the biggest glove on the planet, isn't it? Get more throws.

Throws in the dirt. I never really thought about that. You couldn't have a second baseman's mitt over there because the middle infielders have little tiny gloves because they got to get the ball out of there. It's not the size though. Yeah. It's what you do with it.

What... Do you ever look back and you're like, man, I wish that this sabermetric revolution was going on during my heyday when... Because now you look at it. And a guy who's maybe not great at the plate, which you were great at the plate, can make up for it on defense

because they have all these sabermetrics for defense. You were also were maybe the best first baseman defensively of all time, but people probably didn't appreciate it the way they do now because they have numbers to it now. I think they appreciated it. It's just now they can quantify it with all this stuff. But first base is an important position.

I remember fortune that we had Don Mattingly. Don Mattingly was playing in the Yankees in my day. And he won nine gold gloves. So if Don could pick it. Yeah. Would you win 11? 11, yeah. 11 in a row.

Sheesh. Not bad. Good. You did your homework. Now, well, I looked at Wikipedia. Yeah. So I'm glad you didn't win. That's still in your homework.

Do you think you were getting the Derek Jeter treatment though, where they just kept on voting you every single year, even if you kind of won rest? No, I didn't. Well, Jeter didn't win that many. No, but he kept on going, he all-starred games like commercial games. Well, that's a whole different ball.

That's different. That's fan voting. He always won the fan voting. Only won the fan voting once. What was your go-to conversation when guys would come and be on first base? I would tell them about over my right shoulder, two aisles up the right field line by the camera,

5th row, blonde. Get their eyes distracted. Sunglasses, red dress. Check her out. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure you check her out. Make sure you get a lead first.

Then you check her out. We used to have fun in Dodger Stadium. Yes, I believe that. Full house in Dodger Stadium, you get stiff neck. Yeah, I believe that. Have you ever shaved the mustache? I have around four times in my life. I kept it off for a couple of years ago for over a year,

and I just can't take it. I just, I don't feel like it's me. Yeah, you look like yourself first, yeah. Was there an element of you shave it off and all of a sudden people don't recognize you anymore? Yeah, that can happen. And I did it two years ago. I was pretty incognito.

I saw a quote that you used to think your mustache distracted the sun so you didn't wear eye black. You didn't actually think that, did you? No, I didn't. OK. It's permanent getting chapped lips. Yes, but that's, I like that because that's something people will run with and be like, ooh, I'm having a mustache.

Are you the number one sports mustache of all time? I don't think so. I, you gotta, you gotta go. So I'm going to go way before you guys. Raleigh fingers with the handlebar mustache. Gossage had the great food on chew. Dicca. Dicca.

But also big, I don't know if you guys will remember this, but the Oakland Raiders, big Ben Davidson. OK. Had a big old food man chew. Eckersley had a nice one for a while. Eckersley had a very nice and trim one. Ooh, it sounds like it's throwing a little shade. Patrick Ewing, boy.

He was very detailed with his. He groomed it. Yes, he did. Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache. Oh, and the Haines commercial. Yeah. That was, people figured about that. That's, that shows, if you, we don't need to get into basketball,

but if you actually want to do the MJ versus LeBron debate, Michael Jordan had a Hitler mustache in a commercial, and no one said anything about it, so clearly he's the goat. Like, he could get away with anything. I thought it was a little wider than a dog's. Maybe a little wider. Yeah. Yeah.

So speaking of Hitler, you're a history buff. Yes. So what's your favorite Civil War battle? Oh, gosh. It's like picking your favorite kid. Well, the Gettysburg is so fun to go to the park there. Yes. And it was three or four days.

And you get a real sense when you walk around that park. When you're there, do you find yourself rooting against the Yankees? See what he did there? I know. It's very clever. Yes. What about Bull Run? You like Bull Run?

Yeah, I like Bull Run. My favorite story about Bull Run is that was one of the battles where they had spectators come out to watch. That first one, yes. Yeah. So it was kind of like a baseball game. People were, they'd set out their picnic frikies. They thought it was going to be over,

and then they got stampeded in the union, and then maybe they got caught with the troops, and they prevented the troops from getting back to Washington DC. It was a mess. Yeah, because the soldiers from the South were like, hey, check out that lady in the petticoat up on the hill, got distracted, and then they all got shot. Yeah.

Yes, they did. Get that stiff neck. Was it ever weird being in a locker room? I feel like with sports pro athletes, guys who have interests outside of the sport kind of get looked at, not looked down on, but like, what's this guy's problem? He should just be focused on the sport all the time.

Did you ever get that when you were playing? Hey, why is this guy reading all the time? Why does he, you know, do the crossword puzzle? I got it from Whitey. Whitey didn't let me do it in the crossword puzzle. But we have a lot of downtime before games. Right, yeah. What are you supposed to do?

Right. Precisely, you can't get girls in the clubhouse. They weren't allowed back there. Right. So you would do the crossword with the pen, which is? Yeah, at that point, when I first started, I used pencil. Trust me. OK.

But I got better. Yeah, I mean, that's a baller move. Before a game, we hit for an hour, and the other team hits for an hour. So you got an hour to kill. So I did a crossword puzzle. I bet Lenny Dykstra was a big crossword puzzle guy, too, right?

Yeah, Lenny was very good. If Lenny stares at crossword puzzles for enough, it's like a magic eye-poster that turns to a corn. He was good at the USA Today crossword puzzle. Yeah. He was one of the pictures. He looked at the pie graphs. Yeah.

Who was the craziest guy on that? That was a team full of characters. Now, who is the wildest guy to go out with? Wild? I mean, if you can pick between Darryl Strawberry, Doc Good, and Lenny Dykstra. Probably be there's a few more I can add to that, but I won't. Probably Lenny.

Really? Lenny liked to have fun. Yeah. He still does. Yeah, see, definitely. He actually saved me that night when they all got arrested in Houston. Yeah, strip clothes, right?

I was in Cooters. That was the name of the bar, Cooters. What a name. And I never got in trouble in there. I went in there and had a couple beers after a game. And I left. But I was there that night. And Lenny came up to me.

He's a rookie. And he goes, dude, is this bar down the street here? You got to come, man. You're going to love it. I'm going, really? It was a strip mall. And so we walked down the end of the wall. And of course, it was a strip joint.

So we wound up there all night. And then that stuff happened around a half hour later. I could have been there. And I could have been arrested. And I was in the middle of a divorce. And I didn't need that. And I thought, I'm very beholden to Lenny over that. So Lenny saved you by taking you to a different strip club?

Yes, he did. That's the most classic way that he did it. In a different strip club? I know, well, Cooters wasn't a strip club, but a different club in the same strip mall. That's confusing. That's got to be the first time that being like, hey, let's hit the strip club, got someone out of trouble.

Yes. Well, just pulling into that parking lot, I bet you so many people go into Cooters that they're like, are we going to strip club in this strip mall? Oh, there's this place called Cooters. That must be it. They're going, hey, what's the deal with all the clothes? Cooters was a hot spot.

I mean, it sounds like it. Real hot spot. How much trouble would you guys have gotten in if you lived in the cell phone era? If the 86 met, if you put them into 2018 and you guys tried to do the same stuff. How about Tinder? Yeah, Tinder as well.

Big trouble. Yes. So you guys, I mean, do you ever look back? That's lazy. It's easy. It makes things, you know. Well, going around and saying, I'm Keith Hernandez, isn't exactly.

I can't be on Tinder. Yeah. Sounds like you've been on Tinder. No, I know people that are, and they've told me. Oh, OK, you know people. I've seen the potential prospects as they. People who don't have mustaches. Yes.

Shave your mustache, you go on Tinder. Precisely. I went on Tinder, I'd have to shave my mustache. So you're afraid of getting screen-shotted and then having that get out there? I'm afraid of, you just don't know what can happen, you know. Yeah. The woman wind up on the front page of the post

on the daily news. Did Lenny ever give you financial advice? No. He's a bit of a finance whiz. He tried to sell me his jet when he was going broke. And I said, I don't need it. He goes, dude. Everyone needs it.

He goes, you don't fly with the herd, do you? That he's a great salesman. I said, Lenny, I said, I'd rather you don't buy this jet. I said, Lenny, yeah, I fly with the people. And he goes, oh, dude, I got this jet. You should have one. It's only a million dollars. I said, Lenny, come on.

No thanks. We have a theory on this show. I think Hank actually was the one that came up with it. This year, you're seeing a lot of gifts online. You're seeing a lot of videos of pitchers throwing some real nasty junk, some pitches with movement that maybe we haven't seen too much of in the past. We think that they've done something to the stitches

on the baseball, increase the spin rate, make it look cooler on TV. Have you thought about that? I've talked to Ron Darling, my compadre in the booth, who pitched, and he says the stitches are sewn tighter. They're not as elevated. So the more the elevation, the resistance of the atmosphere, the wind, the seams,

that's what makes the ball break. If you just had all rawhide ball with no stitches, the ball wouldn't break. So you would think, if you had a ball to move more, you would have the stitches up higher, not so tight. He says they're wound tight. The ball's harder too. So he said something, and this is very interesting,

was I always thought in terms of what the ball would do. The ball won't break as much because the seams are too tight so the ball loses its break. Ronnie says when the ball leaves the bat, there's no seams to grab the air and the ball travels further. I never thought of that. And that makes perfect sense. Yeah, that absolutely makes sense.

So that's kind of a way of juicing the balls out, actually juicing them. Yeah, that little core there, they can make that thing as much as they want. But they'll never admit. Throughout my playing day, there has always been talk of the ball's juiced and they want more home runs today.

And the MLB will always deny it. What would you fix about baseball today? What do you, I mean, you obviously call 55 games of the Mets at home games, right? I call 110 total. Yeah, 55 home games. So you're around baseball, you're watching baseball. What's the one thing that bothers you about today's game?

There's a lot of things that bother me about today's game. List them all. I would take the radar gun out. That's all PR. I would not, pitchers watch. I talked to Jacob DeGrom and he said he looks up there and he's got it. If he's at 94, he wants to get to 95, they're watching.

And I think just take them off the board. But that's all PR. Right. And the today's gun is, I think, is a little faster. I think it's all Mets and Nolan Ryan threw 100 miles an hour. And I can tell someone's throwing 100 miles an hour and someone that's throwing 91, 92. I think it's all relative.

I think the gun is around. I look at the gun today and I see a guy throwing 97. I'd say he's throwing 93. Guy's throwing 95, he's throwing 90. It just, I think it's for the fan, makes them look. There's a lot more hard throwers in today's game. So why is it more abundant? Why would you take it away, though?

Just so the pitchers would pitch instead of throw. Nothing better than a pitcher that knows how to go out and watch a guy throw a beautiful game. Doesn't, psh, little here, little there, a little off here. I love that. It's an art. And I missed the complete game. I missed the guy with the 1-0 ball game in the seventh, eighth,

and ninth inning and he shuts the door. That's awesome. Yeah, I agree. Who's your favorite non-Met? OK, it wouldn't be any of the players today. Well, Lou brought my great, my mentor. Pete Rose was a fabulous guy. Willie Stargill was a great guy.

What about today? Dick Allen was a good guy. What about today? Who's your favorite non-Met today? The guy that you watch? Plare, Trout's the best player in the game. He's like, he's ungodly. And I love Otani, the new, the Japanese player,

who's 23 years old, of California, the Angels. I've not seen him pitch, but I've seen him swing and hit. He's a player. He's got a swing swing. He does. I can't complain. Yes. Did Robinson Cano break your heart?

No, he didn't break my heart. I'm just concerned. I'm not surprised. I've been always worried that there'd be a laboratory, this criminal element that's going to develop another masking agent. And evidently, he was busted with a masking agent. Oh, interesting.

So major league baseball is incumbent on them to stay one step ahead because there's no place for steroids. What was it like in the late 70s, early 80s? Because I feel like that was right before steroids became a lot more prevalent. But did you know the guys that were probably juicing or the guys that were getting into it?

It didn't click. It was a handful of guys. I look back now that had bodies that grow done, would have wanted to sculpt. It was just kind of, and just didn't click. But a couple players that I saw came in the spring training and were, over the winter, were 25 pounds heavier. And it just didn't click.

And it didn't really click to me that you always thought in terms of, in the beginning, that hitters would do it. I didn't think that pitchers would do it. But it made pitchers throw harder. And there was a lot of cases where guys got contracts, and then they would get off. And then all of a sudden, they were throwing 97 last year, and they're throwing 90 the next year,

and they got a big contract. What was Keith Hernandez, what was your off-season workout plan like? I just ran. I didn't work out. I didn't do anything in the off-season until I was 27. I came in. I played 203, 195.

And then when I turned 25, I went up to 203, which was I played the rest of my career. But I came in to spring training, and I think 78. I came in at 215 pounds. And I was just like, oh, you got to be kidding me. I got to lose 10 pounds. And I never did. I had to play it off.

I didn't get it off until May. So after that, I started running in the off-season. So I ran across country. But you never lifted. Like George Brown, we had George Brown. He said he didn't lift till the last season of his career. Hand grips. You hit the rice bucket?

No, that was Carlton. And Carlton was in the martial arts, and he did that. And that's why he said he had to sit that great slider, because he had strong hands. I would do the hand grips. I had a hammer head around five pounds. And I would roll it up and roll it down. I didn't lift heavy for bulk, just tone.

I think I would have been better if I do think that lifting is good. I think when you're playing in the season, you just maintain. Don't do too much, because if you're an everyday player, you've got to have something in your tank when it's August and September. So for a guy like Cano that gets popped,

do you agree with the level of severity for the punishment? It seemed like there was an 80 games? 80 games. Pretty decent. So someone just mentioned how much money he'd lose. He signed a $240 million contract. I think the penalty is severe, and it should be. For he's the first offender, it's half a season.

He's losing, I don't know how much money he's losing on that contract, $12 million. He's got a $240 million contract. Cost-benefit analysis? Do it. But what about the team? Right, yeah. You're gone for half a year.

And your legacy. Yes. Because now forever, people are going to say, well, if you did it once, you can't say, oh, I just started this year. People are going to look at you forever and say, you were a steroid guy. You're tainted.

You're right. You shouldn't get in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, we did. Oh, you believe that? Yes, I do. So if you're caught. So Barry Bonds. Was he caught?

Never caught. Never caught. What about Mark McGuire? Sammy Sosa. He was Mark McGuire. You got to all these technicalities. McGuire was caught with a substance, Andrew, that was not banned.

Right. So you think he's in the Hall of Fame? I think he's a cheater. Yeah. So where is the, how do we figure out? I mean, these guys are part of the history of the game. I know. But Bonds was never technically.

Come on. You can tell, you know, you use your brain. You know, so you're going to keep him out. He can go to court with that and probably win the case. I think just a lot of guys in there right now that I know took him. Yeah, they're definitely steroid users in the Hall of Fame. They did a very poor job of policing the game for 25.

Does that piss you off? Because you, I mean, you were. It does. You have the numbers to, you know, be in the conversation. You were on the ballot. Like, does that piss you off knowing that there are guys in there that cut corners that cheated

and you're not? Yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean, I came up 191 pounds when I was 20. If I had done steroids, I'd have been 220. If I had a master fat, hitting the ball further, do you think that would have gave me better numbers? The mustache would have been fuller?

Well, that's true. Yeah. You would have had, by far, the best mustache. I had to shave the hair off my back, though. You actually should be in the Hall of Fame because, for the reverse reason of steroids, you played and smoked, correct? I did.

How many packs would you smoke a game? At least one. That's incredible. But not more than two. See, I mean, that right there, like, you should be in the Hall of Fame for that. You think? Yeah, because.

But I'm one of many. There was a lot of smokers. I know, but the fact that you were able to perform at the highest level as an athlete and you were smoking, burning some sigs. Warren Spa was a chain smoker. When did you quit? Right when I retired.

I knew that I smoked at the ballpark, primarily. I didn't smoke that much in the off-season. When I went out, I would bring a pack, and I would never take it home, never smoked at home. So I knew when I quit that smoking's no good for you. Nothing. I smoked for 20 years, 18 to 38 when I retired. And it took me three years to quit.

I did no patch, nothing. And the final hurdle was to be in a bar back on the day when you can smoke inside a bar or restaurant, you'd smell the smoke, and you'd want a cigarette. When I got over that urge, that was the last one, I haven't smoked a cigarette since. Well, was there an element of smoking while you played that kind of mellowed you out

or made you a better hitter? It gave me something to do, because I was on point. And I was always very into it. And it just innings you come in, you don't hit. And then I would just hide in the corner and hit on it. It was a bad habit. Yeah, you had a quote that, life after baseball, you're worried about boredom and loneliness.

Have you beaten that? Yes, I'm doing the games, and that keeps me busy. I'll always worry when my whole life, first, think about it. I'm 37, and all of a sudden, I'm not playing baseball anymore. Right. And what am I going to do the rest of the second half of my life? And I've been had the bat in my hands

since I was five years old. That's what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go down to Wall Street. I didn't want to do anything in business. And I still don't to this day. So I saved my money, fortunately. I survived a divorce. I lost a lot.

But I did survive that by the skin of my teeth, financially. And so I could have done nothing the rest of my life. But I really felt inside that I had to do something. Right. And the broadcasting just kind of fell into my lap. It's nothing I pursued. It just fell into my lap. Do you think it's a little confusing when

you said you're scared of boredom and loneliness, and then you also own a cat? For some people, you'd be like, oh, well, he's probably pretty lonely because he's a cat owner. A lot of the male guys out there, they have a hard time with the cat. What's wrong with the dog? They said you'd have a dog.

Oh, I travel. I'm not married. I have no one. Who's going to watch the dog when I'm on the road? So your cat's a superstar. He is a superstar. Haji. Haji is a superstar.

Do you only have one? I only have one. And have you remodeled your home for your cat? Because it seems like that's the case. And you are a hell of a pet owner for that. I have a catwalk for him in my living room, and over my dining room. In the shelves.

I have a ladder that goes up, and you can walk around. He's an Asian. He's a Bengal. So they're crossbed with an Asian tree leopard, believe it or not. And I can't ever pronounce it. I've ever seen any of those striped cats. So they're like four generations removed

from the Asian tree leopard. They love to climb. So I got them all. It's like this up here. Yeah, you built the whole thing. You made Tube City in your living room. Your cat has probably the best life of any cat ever, though. He probably has as good a life as most.

Not very many have had that. I have outdoor cages for him, too. Really? I have netted cages where he can walk around. Does he have his own Twitter account? No. There is a Keith Pernandez. OK.

And it's all Haji. And people now, like, they love them. Mets fans wear Haji shirts, and Haji bring poster boards. They have the poster boards in Atlanta. All I did was we came home on my Twitter feed, a handle. I realized, some of them told me, hey, you can do video. I didn't know. I'm still an old guy.

And I said, OK. So we flew home from San Diego in April, that road trip. And we got in at 2.30 in the morning. By the time I got home, it was 4.30 before I went to bed. I got up around 11.30. And I always take Haji with me out to get my paper in the morning at the front of the garage.

You carry your cat. I carry my shoulder. It's like a Dr. Evil thing. I like it. I decided to video it. And that went viral. 200 over to over, a quarter of a million people watch. It had that many hits.

Now, everywhere I go, where's Haji? People send me pictures of their cats, like their cats are laid out in the sun. Can we hook up your cat with my cat? I think my cat's in love with Haji. This is great. I mean, did you ever think Keith Hernandez, who had a very nice run in New York City,

live in the nightlife, that when you're in 2018, you'd be your cat. Haji would be more famous than you. No. And he's got a fat head now, too. I got to keep him in the line. He's been very demanding. Oh, he's a little diva.

Do they actually bring a fat head to the game, like posters? Well, they did. They did. Yeah, yeah, they did. They hit the big old star. Haji's a star. It was in Atlanta. I was not doing the game.

I'm out and having dinner in Sag Harbor. And I get a text from Ron in between innings, darling. And he goes, Haji's here. You can't believe this. And I said, what do you mean? The placard here with Haji. So I call. I texted Greg Picker, our producer, in the truck.

I know he's working the game. I said, I missed it. I'm out of TV now. Could you get him up there again? And I had to wait. This is like better than DVR. You basically, you know you can rewind your TV, but instead you text to the truck.

And you're like, hey, play that clip again. Oh, yes. I have that kind of pop. That's a full I'm Keith Hernandez moment right there. That's fantastic. So we have a SeatGeek question. I got to ask you a SeatGeek question. You put in promo code, take you $10 off

for your SeatGeek purchase. Game six of the World Series, the Bill Buckner game. You were sitting. In Davy's office, our manager, J.B. Johnson. So you were sitting and you left the dugout. You made the second out of the inning. You left the dugout. You went into the clubhouse.

You sat down. You thought it was over? It was the greatest comeback in World Series history. I wasn't going to see Boston having fun in our field. So you and you sat there and you did you get it? I was in my locker actually. And I was just kind of, we won 108 games and we're going to lose.

And then Kevin Mitchell was in the clubhouse. Everybody said the urban legend is he was not in uniform. That's not true. He was fully dressed. That is locker. My locker, the clubhouse, you come in the door. You come this way. Davy's office is to the left.

You have a long hallway and my locker is right here. So I can go like this and look down. And Buddy Harrelson came running by me, or a third base coach. And it was before the inning was just the start. And he goes, Kevin, what the hell are you doing up here? Get your butt down here. You can pinch it. Kevin grabbed his hat, ran out the door,

and boom, Carter gets his hit. Kevin's the next hitter. First pitch, boom, base hit. I had to laugh when I saw that. And then Ray Knight followed with the hit. Darrell Johnson, our advanced scout, was down in Davy's office. And I looked down and he says, so I went down there

and said, we're just lamenting. And so right before Carter's hit, 108 wins. Can you believe it? This is just really a drag. Boom, base hit. And then we're talking, J. Horowitz is there, our PR guy. Boom, base hit. And then after Ray Knight's hit and we got the first run in,

I said, Darrell, I'm not going back down in that dugout. We're one out away from elimination. And this chair I'm in's got hits in it. And I'm not leaving it. And so we watched it on TV in Davy's office, the three of us. I love it. That's like baseball stars, just like the casual fan that has stupid superstitions and sitting in a chair

not getting up. Shea Stadium, we're underneath the box seats down over the first bay. Our clubhouse was behind the first bay's dugout. So the seats go up and were, have you ever been to a concert at the garden when everything's like an earthquake? Yeah.

It was like that, like being in a concert in a garden. It was just like, I hope this stadium's put together pretty well. It was unbelievable. So in the time since then, do you think the Mets have been cursed? Did you curse the Mets? No, I didn't curse the Mets.

In that chair? Maybe Madoff did. That's a good point. Very good point. But they just seemed to not have good karma for some reason. We had a lot to overcome. I didn't really appreciate when Ike was coming up, the Mets were very good, but starting to fade a little.

They still had Koo Koozman and Siever. And then they made the Siever trade. And I think that was the beginning of the spiral in 77. And they were a lot horrible teams. So we'd come to town and play then and we'd beat them up. We, when Ike joined the Mets last place team, I didn't really realize all the negativity around the Mets. Being a little kid in the block, the Yankees

were always the big, you know, like driving the limousine and the Mets are driving the little VW bug. And it took a lot to overcome that negativity. But the reason why we did is we had so much talent. I mean, those guys that came up, I was 30 years old or 29 when I got traded and a veteran. And Daryl was coming up. Doc, Ron Darling, Backman, Dykstra, all those said,

all those guys were just old McDowell. They were all there, all young, early 20s. And I just went to spring training, the first spring training in 84. And after around the first week, I went, holy cow, look at this group we got here. We got a chance to really surprise people, and we did. All right.

Yeah, I mean, do you think at any point the Mets off the field antics from the 86 season have kind of taken away from how good they are, how good your team was? Yes. 108 games, you know, World Series champions. We'd only won one time. We only won two divisions.

We'd all be one in 88. We got beat by the Dodgers. So there's always the talk, you know, why didn't we have a dynasty and blah, blah, blah. And maybe we could have. 87 is a year that will always piss me off, that we started the season without Doc, who was in rehab. We missed him for a month.

That's five starts. Roger McDowell gets appendicitis within five days within the season starting. We miss him for a month. In the course of the season, we lost all of our starting pitchers. We lost Darling down the stretch. It was our best pitcher.

Never pitched better. He blew out his tore his thumb. And we lose to the Cardinals the last week of the season. And I think that if Cardinals had their injuries too, but if we had had Doc, I think that it would have been. And Roger, we would have had 10 more wins. We'd have won 100 games again. We'd have won the division.

And no one would be talking about this. So that I just. Those things piss you off, though, they still piss you off. 87 will always stick in my crown. Yeah. That 86 team, is that the best team that you've seen? 75 Reds were pretty good. The Reds, that big red machine?

Yeah. Boy, boy, they good. That lineup. The Pirates. Everybody talks about the Lumber Company. It was Stargell and Dave Parker and Richie Hebner and Richie Zisk, all those big boppers. They had good pitching.

They had Bibi, Jim Bibi, 118 games, had Bly 11. They had a pitching staff that could throw in a bullpen. And they were a good team. And those are the two best teams I ever saw. All right, I have one last question. And it's probably dumb, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Do you ever close your eyes at night and be like, man, I was Keith Hernandez in the 80s in New York,

a good-looking guy, superstar athlete. That was fucking fun. I look at myself sometimes, and not with my eyes closed. I'm just a normal guy. I grew up in Northern California. My father was a fireman. We lived from paycheck to paycheck. When I was a kid growing up, I grew through Little League.

And here I am. My Cardinals were my favorite team. I wound up playing for the Cardinals, winning a World Series. I wound up going to New York, winning in New York, and winning with the Mets, who were a perennial doormat. And all the things that New York had to offer as far as the arts and everything, the cities,

it makes it such a great city. And I look at myself as that little seven-year-old, eight-year-old kid in a Little League uniform running around in artichoke patches on a beach town in Northern California, outside of San Francisco, and look where I've come, my journey. I feel very fortunate. If you got to mention that one day you grew up

to be interviewed by Short Kid Rock and Fat Freddie Mercury. Yeah. It's the cherry on top. Did you spit on New England, Kramer? No, it wasn't me. Fact, you're saying? If I did, that was one magic luge. OK.

All right. Well, Keith Hernandez, yeah. Check out his book. I'm Keith Hernandez. Check out his, the sequel, I'm Still Keith Hernandez, due out in a couple of years. Yes, hopefully. And buy the four prequels to this one, too.

Not the one with Jar Jar Binks. Thank you very much, Keith. Thanks for having me, guys. That interview was brought to you by Indochino. I've got a made-to-measure suit from Indochino. It's awesome. It's perfect for wedding season. It fits great.

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Thanks to Keith Hernandez. Really fun interview. I honestly like, if you had to pick one, like one or two guys who you could go back and live like a year of their life, being Keith Hernandez in like the mid 80s in New York would be pretty high up on the list. It's pretty good, right?

Pretty high up on the list. I don't think we asked him about this, but one of the funny parts about his career, he was nicknamed Max because his last name's Hernandez. And he waited a year and he was like, hey guys, I'm actually Spanish. I'm actually not Mexican. From Spain.

I know it sounds stupid, like kind of Chris Farley when I asked that question to some of our interviews when it's like, do you ever just think about how awesome it was to be you? But I feel like that's a question that everyone kind of wants at like, hey Keith, you ever close your eyes and you're like, man, that was fun.

Yeah. Like who? You should have seen some of the shit I did. Keith just walks into a room and he knows that he could fuck everybody in the room. Yeah, including us. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Like it was me, Big Cat and Hank in the room.

He walked in and we're like, yeah, I'd fuck him. Yeah, we'd throw it, whatever. You know, love is love. Right, Hank? He's Keith Hernandez. Nope, Hank. Well, for other reasons. Hank, he would absolutely, well, yeah, you wouldn't, him.

Yeah. But maybe you would. Maybe that would actually help. No, you never know, Hank. Okay. All right, segments. I'm not judging. Humans vs. the Sun slash Talking Tennis.

So the French opens going on and Caroline Wozniacki and Daria Kasa, Kasa King. Nailed them both. Kasa King now. Kasa, Kasa King in there. Kasa Kenya, they played a game and they said it was too dark and they wanted to suspend it.

It's called a match. But they, it's a game. And they, the ref. It's a match. The ref was like, hey, you gotta keep playing this game. And they had to play in the dark. So, oh, oh, oh, I can't see the ball. Oh, it's too dark.

Can we call this Caroline? Oh, this clay is all over my body. I'm getting a shower. Where's Rafa? He always dominates on this clay. Oh, oh, hey guys, I'm right here. Oh, I'm Rafa. Yeah, this is like in France.

If it gets dark, that just means that like lunchtime's over. You should still have another afternoon left to do. It means you've, you're just two bottles of wine in when it gets dark in France. That's, yeah, there was nobody in the crowd because they were all getting back from their six, six glasses of Pinot Noir lunch. And long cigarettes.

Yeah, yeah. You smoke, that's what they should do for the time that it takes one Frenchman to finish a cigarette. That's when the match is over. Or they could have just had all the French people in the stands just all smoke and the little lights from the butts of the cigarette. Yeah, like a Coldplay concert.

Yeah, like Coldplay or like at the end of that, that round of golf that Tiger Woods played that one time where everyone held their cell phones out. Yeah. And he hit that ball at like two feet. That's when Tiger was back. Yes, that was the shot in the dark. Are you reading the Tiger book?

Are you reading the Tiger book? I'm not reading it. I just got to that point. Oh, it's pretty cool. Are you inside my brain? No. All right. We have a please like my sport and it's for hockey.

So Brandon Proust had a nice tweet, a tweet that we would probably tweet from our account at part one take on June 1st. He said, difference between hockey and basketball. He's talking about the NBA finals, J.R. Smith's fuck up. Difference between hockey and basketball. Teammate makes biggest mistake of his life. Hockey, 20 guys pat him on the back and say,

shake it off, bud. We got you. And also stick up for him to media. Basketball, 10 guys leave him alone on an island to fend for himself. Very sad. That is. You can't argue with that.

It's so true. It's so, so true. God, I love hockey. Damn it. This guy, we need to get him on the show because he is like Whitney on steroids. Do you think that's true? Do you think if that happened in hockey,

where a guy had an open net, let's say, and he just like, do you dribble a puck? Yeah, you dribble a puck. He dribbled the ball back across the blue line. Do you think that they would just stick up for him? Be like, hey, great job. Yeah. You'll be okay.

They would tap the ice with their sticks. Yeah, well done. They'd just be like, good job, bud. Way to not show the other team up by beating them. Yeah, you'll get them next time, bud. In hockey, they'd applaud that for the guy being so selfless that he didn't want to score points. I wonder if, actually,

Biz probably did something stupid like that and his teammates probably like, you know what, he's a good guy. He keeps it loose in the locker room. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's Biz being Biz. Yeah. JR Smith threw soup at our coach, so we actually can't stick up for him.

I feel like everyone did stick up for JR. Yeah. Like, didn't they just basically say, we don't know what JR was doing, but he's our teammate? Yeah, that's essentially what they said. Yeah, pretty much. And then LeBron James got mad, stood up,

and reminded everybody who's wearing shorts. Yeah, very uncomfortably reminded everyone who's wearing shorts. By the way, that guy, Mark Schwartz, next time that the big J's come after us for crashing a conference call, we're gonna play that guy's questions over again, because that, now that is what ruins journalism. A guy who basically asks the same question

over and over, just phrased differently, to the annoyance of everyone he's interviewing. We, at least we just asked Brad Stevens once, if he wanted LeBron. Yeah. And you said, please. I said, please, will you answer the, I know it's campaign, but like, I'm being polite.

Geez, God. All right, we have a PR101. Hockey journalists always say please. Yeah, they always do. Very polite. PR101 for Buffalo Wild Wings. The Buffalo Wild Wings account got hacked on Friday night. Pretty good time to get hacked if you can get hacked.

It was funny for a minute, because they started with our secret recipe is Tommy's cum. That's what makes our wings so good. Yeah. And you also had a reminder that Wendy's touches kids, and Tommy thinks that glove is a bald midget with a small dick. Then it went a little racist. Then went a little racist and not good,

and very not good, and even worse, not good. But they got hacked, so we need to do a PR101 for them. I actually think that like, you know, Tommy's cum. Like now, like they should put that on the menu. Well, no. It's a joke. I think what they should do, they should make a flavor called not Tommy's cum.

Yeah. And everybody would order that one. Wink. Wink. No, but if you see a list of sauces, and none of them specify whether or not they're cum, and then one says not Tommy's cum. Yeah.

You're ordering the not Tommy's cum, every single time. Everything else. Here's what you do. You make it a dry rub. Get it? Yep, I get it. Not Tommy's cum.

Dry rub. Also PR101, I did a little, I screened, the minute they got hacked, cause there's nothing more thrilling than watching a live hacking. Like when you actually see the tweet coming, like, uh-oh. It's your moral imperative to screen grab that for posterity.

Yeah, screen grab it. But I also screen grabbed how many followers they had, and they got like 8,000 followers on Friday night. So I think we need to every now and then do a little hacking. Of our own. Of our own. We'll just hack our own ourselves. Yeah.

And maybe don't tweet like terrible racial slurs, but maybe tweet like, yeah. It's a mild one. Hank comes in our mouth before every podcast. That's how we keep our throats really nice and lubed. Yeah, no, I think that sounds really good. What do you think, Hank? Yeah.

Just tweet that, Hank. Makes my job easier. Yeah, tweet that right now. No, don't actually do it. Let's see. Oh, fine, fucking tweet it. No, don't Hank. No, I'm not letting him call me a pussy about it.

Don't do it, Hank. Don't do it, Hank. Hank, don't do it. Do it, Hank. Don't do it, Hank. This is bad. No, wait, wait. Well, you think it's bad?

I think it's bad. Don't do it. I think you just phrase it, don't do it. Everyone's gonna be like, PFC and Big Cat like to drink, Hank's come. No, they'll just be like, Okay, fine, don't do it. Hank can't get an erection, so he can't come.

Sad. Very sad. Very sad. Don't do it. The wheels are turning Big Cat's mind. I just, I mean, I'm on a hot streak because on Friday in the office, I got all the interns basically bullied me

into opening up the exit on the fire escape and the alarm went off for two hours. So I'm not in a get pushed around mood right now. I'll do stupid shit if you just be like, hey, you won't do it. Just saying the old Big Cat would definitely have said that to me. You won't tell Hank not to do it.

Don't do it, Hank. I'm overriding. Don't do it. Okay, I want my vote. Big Cat, officially my vote was do it. Officially, my vote was don't do it. Okay. So that's my, I got the third vote, right?

Well, no, I'm Bubba. All right, let's go. Herder injured Clay Matthews. He got, I did it. Did you? No, you didn't. Hell yes. Fuck.

All right, well, I wanted you to do it. Herder injured Clay Matthews got smoked in the face with a softball at his charity event. He came out of the game. Came out of the game. Had a hockey tough guy. Had to leave the charity event, blood everywhere. Herder injured Clay Matthews, broken nose

in a softball charity game. Well, I think it's injured because he was a very good looking guy. Yeah. And so this is a Marsha, Marsha, Marsha situation from the Brady Bunch. Right now. Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Was he good looking or was his hair nice? His hair is really nice. Okay, because I don't know if I'm gonna agree with you on like if, I think he's like, He cut his hair. I think he'd look weird. I think he's the idea of good looking. He's kind of like Kindle.

He's got like the Kindle thing going on. He looks like he's airbrushed. Got it. But it's like A.J. Hawke right now is pretty psyched because now he's the hot one from that old Green Bay Packers team. True. I think Clay Matthews might be over the hill

because his reaction time was really bad. It was pretty slow. Really slow. This was a softball. Softball. How close is the mound in softball. I think it's, I don't know. I don't know what feet.

I'm sure they're playing on a baseball field. It's 60 feet. Yeah, you should be able to get your glove up. Did you tweet it, Hank? Brrrrrrrrrrr. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr. He didn't tweet it. That was a shitty move because I'm kind of sick.

But LeBron bought an apple to the podium. Oh, okay. That's good. Keeps the docker away. That's how he stays healthy. That's, this is gonna be... Oh man. LeBron is so fatigued, he's so tired,

he's gotta start rejuvenating right away after the game. Fruit, this is Apple. Fruit is nature's PEDs. Did you see Javel McGee, by the way, after game one, he had more ice than I've, it was, he looked like Ben Rothesburg with the amount of ice he had around his knees and legs and arms and everything. He played like four minutes.

Yeah, it was fucking awesome. That's what you gotta do. If you're in the NBA finals, even if you're on a bench, if you're a bench guy, you just gotta fucking load up on ice after the game. You know who else brought an apple? The devil. Sure, nice loss.

Yes, Adam and Eve, the snake. Yeah, so now LeBron's gonna show up with fig leaves instead of the shorts where you can see his balls. Oh, Kevin Durant and the snake. Or when he's flashing. Kevin Durant is a snake, maybe that's what LeBron's saying. When he's flashing his dick to everybody in the pre-game ceremonies,

now there'll be a little fig leaf in front of it. Wow, you think LeBron's doing a little Kevin Durant? Well, Kevin Durant, the snake in the grass? He's sub-tweeting? Mm-hmm, in real life, IRL. Yes, it's like when Aaron Rodgers sipped that soda. Yes. To do the meme. Yeah, exactly.

So LeBron James misses social media so much, he's just enacting memes. Mm-hmm. He's just sitting there being like, should I bite this apple? I don't know. Hmm, where'd it come from? After next game, he's just gonna have a whole eggplant.

He's just gonna be carving. Yes, yes. Ooh, maybe what if he brought a gun and some cannolis to the next one? Mm, Godfather. Godfather, actually. That'd be nice, yeah. All right, we have last up thoughts and prayers for Nick Saban because he ran out of gas

on his little boat trip where it's my favorite, it's my favorite like Nick Saban video of the year when he takes his entire team out on his lake and he does like for maybe three hours in the entire year. He does the, hey, Nick Saban's kind of a fun guy. And then this year, the boat ran out of gas and he like ruined his one moment where he'd be like, I'm sure they point to it.

Like when practice gets terrible and like they're in the middle of the season. But remember that time we went on the boat? Remember when Coach Saban let us on his boat? He didn't let us touch anything, but he let us on his boat. We got to sit on the boat and he had sodas for us, yeah. He was actually a really nice guy.

No, no, that's probably impermissible. Impermissible. He probably just watered. No, because this is the year to drink from the lake. This is maritime law. This is international law. So this could be a loophole for Saban if he's doing this with recruits.

Like you only get a certain amount of time to spend with him. Oh, it sucks. It's so bad that our boat got stranded in the middle of the lake for seven hours while I was going over film with him. And nothing I could do. Little extra practice. Oh wow, this boat got just stuck on this random island

that there's a football field and cameras up on cranes. Weird. Yeah, weird. I can't believe that happened. Well, I built a moat around the football field and so now it's a floating practice field. So you can't, we can't be held responsible for anything that happens out there.

It's international waters. You know, if PJ Fleck doesn't turn this into a motivational tool by Tuesday, then he's losing his fastball. He just broke the boat. Never ever have a boat just sitting there in the middle of a lake. Everybody's got a paddle.

Yep, all right. That's our show. I'm gonna leave you with one skip tweet because he's been on fire in this finals. This is actually, like if you wanna do a Who's the Goat? Skip has been on a different level. He's been putting up 50 every night. But he said, is it possible?

LeBron has already mentally thrown in the towel for these finals? Surely not. Surely not. I love it. I love it. I also love how he brought up something about like nobody would ever accuse Michael Jordan

of getting tired. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'll read it. This was, I mean, like I said, he's been putting up numbers every single night. He said, think about this. Chauncey Billups just said on ABC, that LeBron looked a little tired.

It's only game two of the NBA finals. I covered Michael Jordan when he was a year older than LeBron is now. Nope, caps locks. Nobody ever even thought about MJ being tired. That would have been blasphemous. Hmm, think about that, folks. And we'll see you Wednesday.

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