Pardon My Take - Best of 2019 (featuring Gary Busey, Zac Efron, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Patrick Mahomes & more)

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

It's been a great year for Pardon My Take and as a thank you we have put together the best moments of 2019 in this podcast. We start with a preview of week 17 in the NFL (4:00-12:15) and a preview of the CFB playoff (12:16-14:40) We have the best of some of our favorite interview of the year including Gary Busey (15:32-22:30), Jim Harbaugh (23:28-24:49), Brooks Koepka (25:22-34:02) Stone Cold Steve Austin (36:04-44:57), Denny Hamlin (45:14-28:57), Ike Taylor (1:03:23-1:09:23), Jon Rothstein (1:09:55-1:15:37), Blake Bortles (1:15:55-1:19:49), Frank Caliendo (1:21:54-1:24:01) and Patrick Mahomes (1:24:05-1:24:40). A history of the Boner Dogs saga (1:25:13-1:35:09). Our review of the Indy Airport (1:36:27-1:56:35). A brand new interview with long time NHL referee Kerry Frasier (1:58:43-2:46:07). The Best of Fastest Two Minutes (2:46:52-2:56:18), the Best of Fantasy Fuccbois (2:56:19-3:05:47) and the best of Monday Readings (3:05:48-3:20:53) Love you guysYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, best of 2019, we say goodbye to the year that was with a bunch of interviews, a new interview, a little week 17 preview for everyone who's sitting at work right now, but we have our best moments, our favorite interviews, our favorite stories from our favorite guests. All in this episode is a jam-packed episode to get you through that holiday lull between

Christmas and New Year's. And we're brought to you by our friends at Cash App, pardon my take, is always brought to you by Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1. I'm going to do, I've decided my New Year's resolution is going to be investing. I'm going to invest. Let's go.

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Use code BARSTULE. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Thursday, December 26th. And we are here with our best of 2019, gonna send you out 2019 with a bang, although we will be back in studio for Monday to recap all week 17, to recap the college football playoff. We're gonna do that for you, but we figured we'd give you something to listen to while you're sitting at work or you're sitting, trying to avoid your family, whatever it may

be going for a walk. We have it. We have it. Yes. With your cousins. Smoking that. We have a best of, we have a ton of awesome interviews. We have a new interview with Kerry Frazier, which we've been holding on to and we should

have put out earlier because he's the man. I would say that Kerry Frazier is probably our most Canadian guest of all time. Yes. It was actually, we were going to do a summer interview like the Joe Buck where we did four different referees and we only got Kerry Frazier. Well, it turns out a lot of the referees don't really want to talk. So we actually had Kerry Frazier at the end actually called, what's his name? But the Kerry Frazier part was great.

Yeah. Joey Crawford. And told him to come on part of my take. So that will be happening hopefully at some time, but he was like, Oh, I don't know if I can because I work with the league still, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I want to take back what I just said. I think the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan is the most Canadian guest without a Kerry Frazier as a professional hockey referee is a close second.

Yes. All right. So before we do get to all of our best of stuff, we have the best of interviews, we have best of everything we've done. We're going to talk a little football because it's week 17 and bet MGM is still the home for sports betting for PMT. In addition to special new user offers just for AWLs every week, bet MGM prices and boost special bets for us every single week.

They've got the following every week in the lobby under barstool specials. My can't lose parlay. What was my can't lose parlay? It lost. I did it. Yeah. I think so. I think I had the Seahawks.

I'm pretty sure it lost. Yeah. Shit. All right. Well, my can't lose parlay this week is the Green Bay Packers, the Dallas Cowboys and the Denver Broncos and PFTs prime time field goal special of over three and a half field goals in either the Sunday or it's just the Sunday night game is at minus two 50 in Hanks Lockwood lock of the week is the bears going up to Minnesota.

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Okay. PFT. Yes. Week 17. There's a lot at stake, but there's also everyone is playing for tape. They're playing for tape. Remember that. Your tape is your resume.

Your tape is your resume. Put something good out there. Now this is a great Sunday in the NFL because you have like nine games going on at any given time. All the divisional games going on though. The games that really mean the most this weekend, Tennessee, Houston. Yes. That's going to be a big one.

I hope that I hope for able is going to regrow the mustache during the week because he lost his superpowers without it last week. He did. He certainly did. He needs to grow that bad boy out. I'm looking forward to the dolphins maybe beating New England as his tradition once a year. Yes.

I most of all, I'm looking forward to hopefully RG three getting a full game under his belt this weekend because it would be dumb as shit to have Lamar Jackson play the entire rest versus Rust is going to be the big conversation. We also have a great Sunday night game 49er Seahawks. Pete Carroll will be chomping literally at the bit. He's going to be going crazy. I feel like I don't have faith in either of those teams, but that just feels like a Seahawks win.

Like you close your eyes and you just see it's probably drizzling. There's probably about five to 10,000 fans with receiver gloves on. The sea. I hope the Seahawks going to be there in the front row will be there game changer. Something weird is going to happen this game. That's all I can tell you. I agree in these late night Seattle, San Francisco games, something weird and kind of fucked up always happens.

Some obscure rule. I'm sure the touchback rule will come into play at some point when somebody is extending towards the goal line. Something weird is going to happen and I'm very, very excited for it. We also have the Raiders who need still a lot of help, but they are alive. They are alive. The Oakland Raiders somehow some way in week 17 are alive. I cannot believe that we're saying that, but it's the truth.

And if you're a Raider fan, you get to, you got to enjoy the in the hunt graphic all the way till the end, till the bitter, bitter end. Yeah. You white knuckled it. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Week 17 is always weird. I feel like there's, I wish that I had some, I need to run like a statistical now.

Don't do this for me. I always just convinced myself that in week 17, the defense is just don't care. So just bet all the overs. I don't think that ever happens. I would say probably the opposite. Well, but just go with me here. Okay. No, yeah.

No, it's, it's the over week. Yeah. It's the over week. You want to play a game called a guess the over under. Yeah. It's just a game I made up right now. Oakland Denver, guess the over under 41 and a half. It's kind of in the Vegas zone on this one.

Yeah. So I think it's going to be 44. Yeah. It's not only Vegas zone, but it's a vague is Vegas. Yeah. Speaking of, we don't even know the line yet. White knuckling. That's what Mark Davis calls the front of his pants.

Get it? Nice. Actually, Mark Davis in the playoffs would be, that would be something, wouldn't it? Yes. Like get him in a nice little afternoon, a Saturday time slot. Yeah. It would definitely be the, the Raiders would definitely play in that Saturday afternoon and be like, come on, remember, remember the Connor Crook game?

Yes. Well, they have to have the Texans in that time slot, right? Yes. By law. I think that's, that's mandated and that's really the, the last spot in the AFC is going to be the most interesting one because a lot of stuff can happen one way or the other. We could end up with Kansas City playing against Tennessee in the first round of the playoffs. And I think that Tennessee could beat Kansas City again.

I think that could happen. The bills still don't know who they're going to play yet. I want, if you were to draw it up so that you, so that the bills would advance as far as possible, because I know I'm speaking for myself. I want to see the bills go deep in the house. Yeah. Have them play the Texans. Have them play the Texans first round.

I think they can beat the Texans. Yep. And then they'd have to go to New England and were they proven that they can compete or probably to Baltimore if the chiefs won. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. So you would have, yeah, I don't know.

The, just have them go to Texan, Houston so they can win one game. I just want one more week of football just for the Buffalo economy, the amount of alcohol that's going to be purchased, consumed, yeah, the table market. You're going to get another, like the hardware stores are going to get a full, more seven days of table sales. Need it. Need it. So the other, the other one I wanted to point out really quickly is the Browns and Bengals.

Now this isn't on anyone's radar, but I'm excited to see just how many players on the Browns quit in this game. And this is the first time in a while that I don't think any of the players on the Browns are going to ask to be, say, come get me after the game to the Bengals. I disagree because the Bengals are going to get Joe Burrow and Odell Beckham and Jarvis Landry have probably already asked to be traded to the LSU Tigers at some point this season after seeing the numbers that they're putting up on office. That would be fun to have them go, both go to Cincinnati and a double trade where I don't

know who Cincinnati would give up. Maybe they'd sign and trade AJ Green. Yeah. There it is. We just became, we just did like Madden mode where we just disabled realistic trades. Yeah. Who is a desirable asset on the Bengals besides AJ Green? Joe Mixon maybe?

Sure. Odentate. If he doesn't have the shits. Yeah. Did you see him in the warmups last weekend? Yeah. Against the Dolphins when he was waddling around like he had toilet paper between his ass? Well, yeah.

Probably did. Yeah. I mean, that happens when you get the humidity. People forget. That's right. Humid down in Miami. All times a year. All right.

So week 17, we're excited. We, like I said, we're going to be in studio so you will get a full recap on Sunday night, Monday morning. Let me ask you about the NFC East real quick. Yeah. Who do you want to see in the playoffs in the NFC East? Would you rather the Eagles or the Cowboys? No, I want the Eagles.

The Cowboys are a joke. I'm so sick of the Cowboys at this point. Okay. Officially labeled as Big Cat's joke team. Joke. They are a joke. They are an absolute joke. And I don't know what.

Worse than a fraud. They're worse than a fraud. Yeah. I can't even, I can't, because a fraud would imply that they are good, but you know, fraudulent. A joke. I don't even want to, I don't even want to fucking spend time with them. You're not even good enough to be fake. No, you're not.

Because yeah, you're not good. Yeah. Right. There's no, there's no fraudulent thing with the Cowboys. They are just a fucking joke. All right. So go to bed MGM, go put in promo code PMT and you get that match. Like we said, up to $250 deposit match.

And remember, bed MGM is the home of PMT this football season. If you're a new user, sign up with code PMT, get your first deposit match up to $250 this weekend. All right. Last thing before we start getting into the interviews, PFT, we also have the college football playoff. Yes. So I have a future on Ohio State, but I think Clemson is going to beat him.

I think you're right. I've done some, I've done some soul searching, but I think dad was going to play the disrespect card heavy, heavy this week. I think Clemson is a weird team because they've blown out every single opponent that they've had. I don't really know for a fact if they're good or they're good. Yeah. We're not sure.

We don't know if they've played their best game of 2019 yet. True. They almost lost to UNC. They did. But then after that moment, they have, they have beaten every single team that they've played by 30 plus and they don't have any pretty impressive. No players have gotten suspended for mysterious PEDs that weren't their fault yet. True.

As of right now, which is Sunday night taping of this a lot could change. All right. And then we have LSU who we hope we, we think we'll boat race Oklahoma. Although that, when that line gets so big, it gets, it starts to scare me. I have a future on LSU. Everyone talks about how, how this is going to be the easiest thing ever. Was it 13 and a half right now? Yeah.

13, 14, 13 and a half. I still, fuck it. Make it 21. I still like LSU. Okay. All right. I think they're going to win, but I'm just, I get nervous when it gets to that. Talk about disrespect.

I mean, it's kind of an afterthought like LSU versus Clemson or Ohio State in Oklahoma. I don't know. I mean, I think they have accepted the Dallas Cowboys job before the game. Oklahoma has never really played well in any of these games though. They played well in, they played well in the first half against Georgia in the Rose Bowl. First half. Yeah. They were really good.

Baker was awesome. Okay. So they played really well in that game for the first half. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. If you're talking first half and yeah. Yeah.

I mean, with a 14 point spread, if they play well for a half, you could be in trouble to cover that spread. I mean, if there's one thing I know is that the NCAA is crooked as shit. And if they want a high rated national championship game, they're going to want LSU in it. Correct. So that's what. Well, conspiracy. Yeah.

I'm conspiracing the NCAA. I'll always believe though that the NCAA will rig anything. Run by David Starr. Exactly. Yeah. All right. Let's do some interviews. Let's do some best of before we do that.

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of the NBA. Do the do we drink Mountain Dew all the time. We love Mountain Dew. So appreciate them being a sponsor. Okay. Interviews. So we're going to, we have a, how many Hank are we doing 13, 13 interviews. It's not the full interviews.

It's the best of those interviews. So we're going to go in and out. There's some really great stuff and we're going to start with one of the craziest interviews of the year. That's Gary Busey who came to our studio and we got a contact time for him. It wasn't so much an interview. It was just like three guys discussing philosophy. Yes.

Oh wow. Yes. All right. Here he is. Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest. It is Gary Busey. He is a Hollywood star for decades upon decades.

He's in studio. He's written books. He has his Busey isms. I'm very excited for this interview because you are, like I was saying beforehand in two of my favorite movies, Point Break and rookie of the year. And we will get into all of that, but it's just great to have you. It's great. I mean, you are exactly as advertised even walking in here.

Well, I would like to thank you for giving me the honor and the privilege of coming on your show to speak about what we are going to speak about. Right. So which is what? What are? Which is what? Yeah. What are we planning on speaking about?

Did you just get here? I did. Yeah. I just arrived this very second. Use your imagination, but don't let it get out of control. I can't make any promises. All right. Let's talk about Busey isms.

I like that. So your book, Praise for Busey Isms. Yeah. Okay. I love Busey Isms. Explain how Busey Isms started. Well, I was writing a journal. I've been betrayed in my heart and I was writing about what happened to me and I was, I realized,

Hey, this isn't the past. Where am I now? Now. Okay. Now in Odebia. That stands for no other way. The first Busey Isms were wrote. I was recovering from a traumatic brain injury and the hospital, the doctors put me in a

smock, gave me a slipboard to take me on rounds. So I'd feel like they told me I was going to be playing the doctor in the next movie. So I did. Okay. And I was scribble things that you couldn't read. And I went to a drawer, the patient opened it up, underwear and socks all messed up. So I rearranged it and I said, that is neat. My first Busey Isms was neat, nice, exciting and tight.

And then came the others and they kept coming. They kept coming. Faith, F-I-T-H, Fantastic Adventures in Trusting Him, Hope, H-O-P-E, Heavenly Offerings Prevail Eternally, Relationship, R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P, really exciting live affair, turns into overwhelming nightmare, sobriety, hangs in peril, romance, R-O-M-I-N-C-E stands for Relying on Magnificent and Necessary Compatible Energy, S-I-M-P-L-E stands for See It Manifesting Precious, Loving Energy. So just be simple, you get sweet.

The eyes connect, there's a glaze on the eyes, the hands touch, the hands start sweating and the wrist is up to you. Fun. F-U-N. Finally understanding nothing. That's great. Yeah. Yeah.

That's really fun. Yeah. Once you realize you don't understand anything, you're just having a great time. You're just like, fuck it. There it is. You laugh. This is great. Yeah.

You laugh. What about, how about... What is fun? Sober. Sober. Sober. S-O-B-E-R. Son of a bitch.

Everything's real. That's perfect. That's perfect. Do you have one for Gary? Oh gosh, I don't do proper names. What about football? But I do B-E-R-C. Can you...

Okay. B-U-S-E-Y. Being under spiritual energy yearly. I like that. Can you do football? Football. I play football. Football.

If you were to make that a B-E-C-E-ism. Making other offers, trusting, believing, and living love. Ooh. I was just... You could just rattle them off. It's like going, you know, to the jukebox and throwing in a dollar and just being like, let's get a PC. Don't forget to bring your jukebox money.

Do you believe in hell? Hell. Hell? Hell is what you make it within yourself. Okay. So, hell is a self-imposed condition? Well, it's something that's created by men who wrote the Bible. It's created by...

Hell is really something you create yourself. I've been... The difference between organized religion and spirituality is organized religion is a bill for people to be afraid of hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there. I'm in the second group. I cause my own hell. We can cause our own hell.

Just know how to get out of it, come to the light and say, thank you, God. That's very insightful. Thank you. All right. Only human. Yeah. Gary Busey. Thank you for coming by.

We'd love to have you back on. Maybe we'll go see the play and then have you back on at the end of the run in three years. Dismiss the word maybe. No. We are going to see it. So, you... Yeah.

So, you'll be back on. How long are you going to be in this play? Three years? Maybe four. Four. Three years. What? Through December 15th.

So, October 8th. Through December 15th. We're going to see it during that time and then we're going to have you back on before you leave New York and we'll talk about the play some more and even more. I mean, people are going to love this interview. You know, this play is being worked on, has been being worked on for eight and a half years. Geez. And this is coming to a beautiful mountain of spiritual miracles and blessings.

I love it. We're going to take a field trip. The whole crew. We seriously are. The whole crew. Kind of mountain of spiritual blessings. We're going to take a field trip. You need to hold them up to this partner.

Yep. Hank, why don't you take me out for mountains of spiritual blessings? And then we're going to have you back on and we're going to talk about how great you are. No. Don't talk about how great I am because we already know that. Let's talk about how great the play was. That too.

That too. All right. Yeah. Gary B.C. Oh, you guys are so funny. Wait. Wait. Yes.

Here. And the book. Yes. Read what I wrote. Oh, wow. Look at this. Thank you for your blessing in every way. This book is for you.

Eric. Thank you. There we go. Thank you. I'll give that to my brother. You wrote the same thing. Read what he wrote. Yep.

Read yours. Thank you for the blessing in every way. God bless you. Oh, you got God bless you. God bless you. When you were born. Hey. Oh, Gary.

Heart. Gary. I don't know who's got the better one. That's very sweet. I mean, I don't know how much more of a so we could put on this play other than like, go watch Gary B.C. I know. I mean, this is incredible.

Yeah. I know. No, that's great. No, we're going. We're going. We need to cancel and that's guest. I'm not leaving. Okay.

Okay. You want to watch football all day? We're going to watch football all day. Football? Yeah. We're going to watch it all day. I don't blame you. All right.

Gary Busey. Thank you so much. Thank you. And come see the play on the Hubock. Okay. Next up, we have Jim Harbaugh. Went to Ann Arbor. Golfed in jeans.

Some of us. Hank. By the way, Hank. What's wrong with golfing in jeans? You didn't mention against the decorum of the game. I can't believe you didn't mention when we talked about you golfing in jeans the other day that Belchak golfs in jeans in the in in the documentary was saving well, he only plays like once a year.

He goes out for his one like that's when he relaxes golfing in jeans. Yeah. So that's where Hank gets it from. Yeah. So he's got an ass. Hank doesn't have it. The problem with Hank golfing in jeans is the jeans fall off your ass. I wore belt.

I wore it in October. We're 10 more months. Well, my new year's resolution is going to be getting an ass. Yeah. Now that we have the facilities inside, you have the facilities, the year of the ass for Hank. Okay. So here is Jim Harbaugh and also his famous love for Microsoft Excel.

I do everything in Excel. So I actually knew that someone had told me that what explain that you type like actual letters and poems and everything. Letters. In Excel. I don't draw pictures in Excel. Why is that? Excel is the first thing I learned and I've stayed with it.

Yeah. I'm a disciple of Excel. My theory was, you know, you got to take you to my office for my we'll go to my office today and I will show you and I will print out a day in football and spy by own and re sick and a nod to earn this time away. No man in the sea. But you're using Excel but not for Excel like it's supposed to be for formulas and spreadsheets and you're just using it.

It's like a notepad work document. Yeah. Two, three to four lines or six. They can. Right. They can. I love it. I love it.

Rap text. Yeah. Rap text is what they say. My theory was that you read off place sheets all the time. Those are all put into Excel the way that they're format. I was just thinking like you've been reading off those your whole life. That's probably it's easier for you to see the wristband. Yeah.

The wristband. Everything's in Excel. Yeah. That's true. Right now it's probably Microsoft Excel. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I use. I use word. Yeah. For Google Docs. The thing that you're supposed to type words into the next interview we have coming up is one of my favorite favorites of the year was Brooks Kepka as he became Blake Kepka before our very ears. And if you ever wondered what how Brooks became Blake, it was from this interview.

It was from this interview. We were in a basement in Long Island getting ready for the U.S. Open on Long Island in Long Island getting ready for the U.S. Open. And Blake was just he was he was a wonderful interview. He probably cares less about golf than we do. Yes. Here is Brooks Kepka. OK, we now welcome on very special guest were in his home, his rented home in Long Island.

It's Brooks Kepka. He is the U.S. Open 2017-2018 champion and also the PGA champ return champion, right? So you're trying to defend your crown here this weekend at Beth Page Black. And I want to start with the most important question. You have three majors. You're very good looking. You got muscles. You got the whole fucking tan and everything.

What's your problem? I got no problem. OK, well, well, we got a problem maybe got one problem, Randall. Well, yes. Yes. Yes. I figured that might come around. Yes.

But seriously, like you need we're going to start a whole rebrand of Brooks Kepka on this show. You are too perfect. So we need to figure out, like, give us your biggest weakness to start this off. Biggest weakness. Mm hmm. Reality TV. That's all we watch.

Reality. That's a big strength. Real housewives. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely watch it. You got skinny recently. I did that pissed off America.

That's that was really interesting going into the masters because people were mad at you that you lost weight. I know. I don't get that. They were not bad. I know what everyone else is trying to do. Everybody was just like, I wish Brooks would put on 30 pounds and get back to, like, how much weight did you lose?

I was, like, 30 pounds. What was the plan behind that? I just wanted to look good. That was it? Yeah. You just want to look good for the gram? Yeah. Well, yeah.

Yeah. If you got a phone shoot, you might as well look good. Wait, so you actually lost power, though, in your drive, right? Yeah. And we're not golf guys, but we'll ask a couple of golf. We'll sprinkle a couple golfers. Yeah. Is that bad to lose power on your drive?

I mean, it's not good. So when you noticed it, like, what's going on here, I need to start eating again? Yeah. Well, yeah. Once we got everything done, squared away, all the photo shoots done, we definitely ate like a champ. I know that. Okay.

We're back to cheeseburgers and pizza. Yeah. Did you actually have photo shoots? Oh, yeah. So you lost weight for pictures? Yeah. I wanted to look good, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, who doesn't want to look good? Did you stop working out? After, yes. Huh. Okay. I was definitely working out before. How much do you bench these days? I don't know.

I haven't benched in a long time. It's been like six weeks. Really? That's a really long time. Yeah. That's a really long time. It's great though. I heard that you used to be able to put up 315.

Yeah, I could. How many times? Just once. Oh. Okay. And I also heard that you used to work out sometimes after rounds, is that true? Yeah. Before or after.

You know what I'm saying? Isn't that weird though? Like if you're lifting weights before you go out on the course, doesn't that affect? I feel like if I do three tricep extensions, I can't shoot a basketball for like a week afterwards. I look better in the shirts though. No? Your shm mediums? Your shm mediums.

Yes. Very tight. That's on my list as well. So wait, I want to go back because like golf is one of those sports that everyone always thinks like, oh, you know, like the fat guys can play, it's, you know, Phil Mickelson back in the day. Now it's completely different. You guys train like you're in the NFL or like NBA.

We're not that big. But are we? You guys have had plenty of NFL guys. There's no reason to. But what's your training regimen like in the off season? Like are you training every single day? Yeah, in the off season. Yeah.

I mean, you might as well. What else are you going to do? I'm not playing golf. I got better things to do. Oh, how long do you go without playing golf in the off season? I'll go six weeks. That's really? Yeah.

When you get back out on the course after six weeks, do you notice like a major, major difference in how you're playing? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Do you give yourself that break like more mentally just so you can get away from it? Yeah. I'd rather be on the boat, drinking, hanging out, doing what everybody else is doing.

You know that like everybody else, they do the exact opposite where they go out to play golf to get away from stuff. Yeah. And that's their mental break. Yeah, exactly. You're not helping the whole like you're too perfect narrative that you got going. Yeah. So you're getting ready for, for opening round on Thursday, Wednesday night.

What is your, do you have a pattern that you do to have, like I said? I just try to be in bed by like 1030, but other than that, I got nothing. Hmm. Yeah. It's just whatever, whatever. I'm trying to find something. We're going to find something. We could make fun of you most easily for besides the reality TV thing.

The thong photo? Yes. Oh, yeah. That was a good one. Yeah. Thong photo. How about the fact? I was trying so hard to be an Instagram model.

It just backfired so bad. What about your, your logo sucks? Sorry. I'm getting a new one. Yeah. Okay. There you go. There you go.

Good. Yeah. See there we go. We found something. I saw it and I was like, what's this? It's just a B? Yeah. Yeah.

Show them, show me one right now. I don't have it on me now. I don't have my phone. Nobody. All right. So you fixed the one thing that I could say was bad. Yeah. We're getting a little better on that.

You have a very South African sounding name. I know. I want to hear you say it one time. It's so satisfying to say. It's way cooler. I know. I've heard it a thousand times. I just want to hear it in person.

You should be South African. There will be people who listen to this interview and be like, wait, what? Yeah. He's not. Yeah. No, it's South African. A lot of people, they were telling me that during the masters when they were doing like a behind the scenes thing with you, they were discussing you.

They were shocked and they lost bets with their friends because they were hanging out. They were like, no, he's from South Africa. No, he's not. That was because of you. He's literally. Yeah. It's actually funny. Yeah.

Bruce Kipka. Say it one time. Bruce Kipka. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It rolls up. It's all right.

Let's do fixing golf. So why do you think golf? Why do you think golf is better? Like in terms of. You're out there for five and a half hours. I mean, how bad is that? Nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there. Yeah.

I mean, unless you're like getting away from your wife or like trying to get away. Right. You know, that'd be great. But other than that. So how do you speed up the game? Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes. I like that a lot. I like that too.

Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker. Yes. And I always get to like 11 and I'm like, this is. It gets boring from like hole five to 12. You're just like, where am I right now? You are bored during a tournament? Yeah. Five through 12?

Yeah. I literally can't tell you what like, what happened during those holes. You kind of like black out. You're like, oh, yes. Everything's repetitive. It's. It's true though. Because when you golf, there is like the first three holes where you're like, okay,

I feel good today. Super pumped. And then like right around 14, you're like, all right, I got a few left. Yeah. Exactly. And then anything in between is just whatever. Can I get a hot dog after nine? Yeah, exactly.

You're just looking. You're just looking and getting drunk. What about using a cart? Who I'd love to use a cart. How great would that be? That would be sick. Having people driving cars. Daily's using a cart this way.

You see that? How awesome is that? Yeah. He's just he's just commandeered the beer cart. Yeah. Yeah. Just kick the girl out. So what can they do to make it better for the audience?

Like what? Because you did. What was your exact quote? That golf is not fun enough or. Yeah. Golf fun. Yeah. Golf sucks.

Yeah. Yeah. Real question about your swing. You've been doing golf on Tiger. Yeah. It's been a while. I've been doing golf on Tiger and it seemed like every like few years you just completely remake a swing.

Yeah. Go from scratch. Have you done that? No. I just do. I literally have two swing thoughts and that's it. I just hit it and go. That's the thoughts?

Yeah. Hit it and go. Yeah. Literally just keep it short and swing it hard. That's it. I think that's it. I think what we found is we found the Blake Bordles a golf. Yeah.

Like. What's your idea? It's. I don't know how to adjust it. No, that's, it's imp, you're, you are a guy, a normal guy who plays golf really, really normal guy who's an exceptional quarterback. Yeah. Exactly.

You're right. I like that. I like that comparison. So when you're, when you hit a shot, obviously you have different shots in your bag. You hit a draw. You hit a fade, right? I'm guessing. Yeah.

So I just try to stick to one because I know what I'm doing on one of them, but yeah. But when you get up there and you're like, okay, which one's better for you? I fade it. Yeah. I hit it left to right. Okay. So you, you get up there and you're trying to fade it. You just think hit and go or do you have to like tell yourself, do you have to walk

yourself through the process and think, okay, I have to aim that. There's no thought process. It's just like aim left and just swing hard and it'll come back to wherever you want it. Your cat is just like aim at that thing and then you do that thing. Yeah. I'll just be like, finish it there. Okay.

I'll try. I mean, one of two things is going to happen. See if they get it up there is not. So right. It's easy. They're going to be really good or bad. Right. So I mean, yeah, I'm just starting because I feel like maybe we haven't interviewed

enough golfers, but they have like all these technical, like, oh, this is what I'm trying to do on this shot, but you're just like, I'm just up there just asking what's the point of thinking of something else. I think I figured you out. I think you just, you don't like golf very much. And so you're always just like, I want to get the fuck off this course. So I'm just going to take, I'm going to take a very few amount of strokes. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. It's good to put it. Yeah. And sometimes win the tournament. Yeah. Occasionally. Yeah.

Yeah. Then you have to stick around and collect a check. It's a whole big thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably pain. Yeah. So you just want to get to the bar.

Stone cold Steve Austin, the man, the myth, the legend, a quick word from NHTSA. Are you one of those people who thinks it's okay to drive stoned? What's the worst that can happen? You end up driving below the speed limit. It's no big deal. Right? Wrong. Big time wrong.

The truth is your reaction time slows way down when you're high. You not only put yourself in danger, but everyone around you. Talk about a buzz kill. Stop kidding yourself. It's not okay to drive high. You've been using marijuana in any form. Do not get behind the wheel. If you feel different, you drive different.

Drive high. Get a DUI. Listen guys, you can just use so many car services now. There's no excuse. This holiday season, NHTSA wants you to plan ahead. If you will be celebrating, if you plan to indulge in an impairing substance, plan for a sober driver to take you home. Is it your turn to be that designated driver?

Take that role seriously and do not partake in alcohol or any other drugs. Drive high. Get a DUI. It's not worth it guys. Those who support state and local law enforcement agencies across the nation are stepping up enforcement to put an end to drug impaired driving, showing zero tolerance to save lives. Okay, PFT, our next one up, we have Stone Cold Steve Austin. This was a personal favorite of mine.

What's it, never meet your heroes? Well actually do meet your heroes because they turn out to be cooler than you thought. Yeah. Trust yourself in the fact that you chose excellent heroes growing up. Yes. You have to support yourself by idolizing these people. And I want to back on at least once every six months. Just to have them call in and be like, hey guys, Stone Cold.

My only regret with having Stone Cold on our show is that we gave him some of our secret sauce about how to do interviews and I saw that his interview with The Undertaker was ranked as like the best podcast interview of the year, so we should have been worse with him. That's a mistake. Yeah. This is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Okay we now welcome on, I mean you're a role model, you're an idol of mine way back in

the day. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin. I'm a little speechless because you are actually someone that like, if I had a list of three people that are like on the, you know, pinnacle of my idols, it's you, Michael Jordan and Dog the Bounty Hunter. How do you think about that being in that kind of company? That's an interesting selection there. Yeah you like it.

I do. You like it. Hey before the cameras were rolling, you offered to give me the shirt off your back. I did. Can you turn up my volume? Yeah. Hank missed that. When you walked in, you're like, hey I like your shirt and I just ripped it off my back

and I said, here you take it. You can do, you want it? No, no, no. Give me that eye again. Please, please. I like it when you have your shirt on. All right. So it is Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Welcome to the show. We're very excited to have you on. You have a new show coming out straight up Steve Austin August. Did we make a mistake not bringing beers into this studio for you? Almost all of the shows that I've done today have offered me a beer, but you know, I'm not offended that you didn't. We're trying to do the, like we're trying not to be, hey Stone Cold, here's another beer, another just play into the character.

Yeah. And we couldn't find your beer and I didn't want to offer you something that wasn't yours. And that's what just happened. Someone brought out a, you know what, and I was like, man, this ain't broken skull. Right. So anyway, and I do have a long day ahead of me for me to show up on another show all trash because I've been hanging out with you guys drinking beer all day would be unprofessional

on my part. So yeah, I took a couple of sips. I don't want to look hoity, toy. Right. Right. A couple of swings. So you're good. We're good.

Yeah, I'm good. You gave me the shirt off your back. I did. You took the shirt off and handed it to me. It was a great moment. It wouldn't even think it. It was true. You're the kind of guy.

I can obviously say, hey man, the guy. You call me. You give me the shirt right off his back. Absolutely. All right. I want to talk about a lot about the attitude area. I told you I was a huge fan. Let's start with just your entrance.

Do you still get chills when the glass shatters? Yeah, man. It's a drilling rush. It's a spike. It's you can't explain. Yep. It's and you live and die by it. Recently we just went down to Tampa for the Monday night.

You know, it was like the raw reunion and I was like for the WWE.com. They're asking me, hey, you know, we're used to the Stone Cold Pop because it's kind of a phenomenon. Right. And I'm not patting myself on the back. No, that's a fact. You asked me the question. I watched all three hours of that show for the pop.

Yeah. So and I said, hey man, I said, I know it's going to be good, but anything less than fantastic or spectacular is going to be a letdown for me because I've heard them all. And you live and die by that. And boy, when I came out of the gate, man, the place it blew the roof off the place. So it was it was an amazing feeling. And I'm not a drughead. So I can say, but if you could bottle that feeling that I feel when that glass hits and

you could sell that make a lot of money. What's the number one thing in your in your career that you think back the one that you close your eyes and you're like, that was it? Well, there's so many, but there's that one time when the rock was wrestling, Mick Foley. Yep. And DX and they were creating all kinds of havoc. Vitzwick man was by the ring and all of a sudden mixing a bunch of trouble. And then here comes Stone Cold and they hit that damn music and it was a built moment.

You know, they build those moments, you know, but I got to be the guy and the music has a big part of it. But when I came out there to help him win that championship and then the eruption when he pinned the rock for the three count, that was one of the top ones. Yeah. But you got to understand that was a great match. Also, yes, it was. But you also got to understand.

When I turned from the ringmaster and the Stone Cold, you know, the music that I had to begin with was, you know, laid back, boring, lulling, oh, it's terrible. And so then I started to get a little bit of hands on when I came up with the Stone Cold thing and I said, Hey, do you have any ideas for some ring music? I said, you're damn right. I do. So I took Rage against Machine Bulls on Parade to Jim Johnston. I said, it ain't this song, but it's in the vein of this song.

And so why he thought about the glass breaking. I mean, because Stone Cold, yeah, I mean, and then he put the sirens in. But it's the whole thing was a masterpiece. And I give all the credit to Jim Johnson, but it was inspired, at least in my head, by Rage against Machine Bulls on Parade. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. So you had, you know, too many outrageous stunts to count, really, whether it's, you know, running over the rocks, New Lincoln with the with the monster truck

or driving the Zamboni into the ring. And by the way, had you ever driven a Zamboni before? No. And I'd never driven a monster truck prior to that. I've driven a couple because was that before after my next surgery? Because I started doing monster truck appearances. But I am the master, the absolute master of driving anything on wheels in 15 minutes. I'm not going to be an expert at it, but I can efficiently get the job done.

And it's sink or swim. If you're going to put me on live TV and put me in a monster truck or take, go to Nassau Coliseum when I drove the cement truck and to Philip Vence's right, Corvette, all those things folded down. And then I revved the motor to spin up that cement to dump in that Corvette. They didn't, we didn't have modern technology back in it. So like, here's a mark to hit. I just had to guess at the mark.

So it was just fun to be able to do all that kind of stuff. When I drove that monster truck into the arena, they put me into a holding area. I remember. And it was like a two, two and a half minute commercial break. And that thing's running off methyl, alcohol, ethanol, alcohol, whatever. It's an 1800 horsepower motor. And I'm in there and I'm dying. My, my, my eyes are tearing up.

I can't breathe because of the exhaust fumes that truck. Well, you were also dead. I'm, I'm, I'm just waiting to come back on air. So I just get out there and get a breath of fresh air. Anyway, I get out in the arena and I guess it and the carpet so long. And I just, I revved it up and I think four wheel drive was so awesome. It just jerked one of the camera guys off his feet because they shot the carpet right out from underneath him because all that horsepower.

So all the shenanigans that they created for me really helped the character. Do you think it's missing in today's wrestling? Cause just thinking about, you know, listing mall, the Zamboni, the court, you know, putting the cement in Vince McMahon's Corvette, all these off, off the ring things that happen is what made raw can't miss on a Monday night because you just didn't know you're with Booker T in a, in a, in a supermarket. There's all these things that would happen that you just had no idea what was going to happen next.

And it feels like after your era, it kind of went away from that. It was a lot more ring stuff. Man, well, it's interesting how, how the thing has changed. And now it's three, three hours versus two hours and Smackdown is two hours. But when you used to watch, you know, back in the attitude era, we had the Monday night wars, Nitro had this hot, open, you know, then we had, had our, you know, pyro coming down. I mean, it was since the urgency.

You felt like anything could happen at, at any one time. And it to me is just maybe I'm not picking on today's product, but I'm just think the spontaneity is lost. Like that, that feeling that anything could happen is lost. And if you bring it back and create that excitement, I don't think you need to go to, you know, fill it up, you know, this with that or crushing, you know, things, you know, uh, Braun Strowman has done some really cool things with, uh, his displays of strength, turning shed over and stuff like that.

That's all cool. Since the virginity, I think is the most important part. Yeah. Uh, what about the famous beer bath? That was also another personal favorite. Man in the first, about the first 30 gallons that was real beer and man, I rolled down there and we bought that hose out and I started spraying them. And then like as I was spraying, I figured, man, it'd be a great vision

for me to get myself a drink of beer, but it was, it was coming out like, I don't know, like a hundred miles out. So I basically ribbed myself because when I pointed at myself, I almost blew my eyes out and drowned me at the same time. Like, shit, that wasn't smart. So, but I know sold it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Did you, did you, uh, I feel like you never missed. We're going to wrap up in a second. I feel like you never missed cans when they were thrown to you. Man, I got some hands on you. Yeah. Every now and then I get the rare drop, but my percentage, that was, I would, that I got my hand over here. Yeah.

I just caught a bunch for a raw at that reunion, uh, the other day, but man, Mark Eaton and I, I've given the signal and some of them are so far away. You're like, Mark, we go, you're capturing and I'd say. Bring them, I'd say something different, but he would throw them. But he goes, and I'd say, yep. And so some of those things got launched. I dare say close to 40 yards, but I've always been able to catch things. And hell, I played running back in high school and then in college,

I played linebacker defensive end, but hell, they should, if they love me to tie it in or something like that, I probably could have had a career. I believe it too. The hand size. That's what I can catch stuff. I'm really good at catching alcoholic beverages. It's a God given talent. Everything else just kind of slips because you really want a beer.

This next clip is actually another favorite of big cats. Yeah. Because it's another one of your personal heroes. Yes. Denny Hamlin. Denny Hamlin. So here's Denny Hamlin calling up some guy that owns a sneaker company or something. So you're, you're a big team Jordan guy.

Yep. Did you talk to MJ afterwards? He texts me at nine 20. Shut up. The NBA game was going on. It's his birthday. Uh huh. The race is over.

I look at my phone. He's like, man, I'm so happy. Yeah, that's awesome. I don't know. Well, it's calm. He's actually a friend of ours. We talked to him a few times. I don't know.

You think he'll answer? No, I don't think so. I don't think he would either. You know why? Because I don't think he's, I don't think I've ever called him. Yeah. Yeah, don't, don't waste your phone call on him. Don't.

I think we're, I think we're tight enough. He won't mind. He'd be like, hey, go on part of my team. You're actually calling Michael Jordan. Yeah. What the fuck? I'm going to just blame it on y'all. Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. I wasn't prepared for this one. Or maybe if the answer's not going to go up real quick. He's like, please, mom, in my life. Imgerial, Brian. Stop it. Who are you going to trust with a final shot?

What's up? That's Michael Jordan. So thank you, man. All right. So here's the deal. I'm on part of my take on Barstool and we're talking about you and how good of a friend you've been to me my entire career. So I just want to say thank you.

I love you. I love you, Michael Jordan. You guys here love you. So that's all I want to say. Hey, man, I'm proud of you, man. We're the bounce back after a tough year last year and started off right. So I expect at least five wins this year. That's the number for me.

Five put out there. Five and a half was the over under. So are you the goat? You got it, my brother. Go ahead. Thank you, man. Yeah, I love you. I love you.

I really do love you. That was. Okay. Was that actually him? Michael Jordan. Come on, man, of course. That's amazing. I can't believe the answer because we rarely, rarely talk about that guy screaming.

I love you in the background. He was pretty pumped to hear from you, though. Just I almost punched P.F.T. When he's like, are you the guy I was about to take him? I was about to take him out. Yeah, that was awesome. No, but I mean, you know, it's crazy. You're you could keep talking.

I'm just going to be like, okay, whatever. 2014 is 2014. It's the final NASCAR race and I'm in the final four. I have a shot to win the championship. He called. He texts me and says, you know, hey, you mind if I bring the family down and like, you know, spend the day with you, uh, uh, that, that whole day. And I'm like, uh, sure, I think we can arrange that.

So he's hanging out on my motor home before the race. You know, I'm getting ready. I'm suiting up and everything. And he's got his crew there. And so he watches the entire race, you know, in on my pit box, he's standing there behind the pit box, just pasting back and forth. And he says, you know, he was nervous. He was nervous for me.

And I was just like, this is weird that this guy is amazing and everyone is in all of him, but he's going to watch some NASCAR driver try to go for a championship. But when I didn't win, which sucked, he was no longer friends with you. No, he was there. Everyone had left the tire. The stands were completely empty and he was there. He had his arm around me and we walked up Pit road.

He's like, you know, you got to just keep digging, man. That's awesome. You're going to go through things like this. How much, how much do you think he knows about the sport of NASCAR and how much do you think really a lot? He asked me all the time questions about certain races. And so that's how I initially met him. I was at a Hornets game and he actually stopped me and said, Hey, uh, you know,

I'm Michael. Nice to meet you. And I said, you know, this is amazing. And so he's like, Hey, you know, take my number real quick and we'll kind of keep in touch. So we're texting through the second half of this game. I know this sounds completely insane. It sounds completely made up, but it's not, you know what?

This is good though, because sometimes we get accused of like, Oh yeah, we're just texting with JJ. This is a new level of like, so he said, yeah, he's I said, really? You want, you see, so he asked me, he's like, what happened in this race? Two weeks ago, you know, you, you did this or that. I was like, well, you watch NASCAR. He's like, buddy, he said, my dad used to take me to NASCAR races when I was a kid

and I just latched on to racing ever since then. He says I watch every week. Okay. Next up over the summer, when we did grit week, we actually taped a very special episode with Ryan Russell and Mark Titus, our two good friends, which by the way, I'm going to announce this right now. We haven't even discussed it, but we're going to do it again this year.

It was a fun, it was a very fun interview because it was four guys talking about life. Yes. Opening up the Kimono allowing everybody to, are you trying to tell us something? No, I'm not having another kid yet, but, uh, that you know of, that I know of, but we will do this again. So yeah, we did this as a evergreen episode when my son was born. But I think it was people liked it so much that we will find a time to get the four of us together again and talk about whatever we'll maybe pick a different one,

different kind of life topic and we will dive into it and we'll make sure we do that for you this summer. I think what we have to do is somebody needs to get someone pregnant this year. So it has to be one of us. Hank, your seed is very strong. PFT year. I mean, your, your eggs are running dry. My eggs are great.

I've got like, I've got pancake batter coming out of these nuts. Okay. I've not yet begun to nut either way. We're going to do it no matter what. Even if we don't have another child on the way, we will, uh, make sure we run that back, uh, this summer. But here it is from this past summer life with our friends, Mark Titus and Ryan Russell.

How dare you insult my skeet? I'm just saying, getting, starting to get on the wrong side of 30. They're not like eggs. Guys can have kids. I'm pretty sure like billionaires have kids until they're 90. Welcome to part of my take presented by cash up. No idea what date this is. Well, it is June.

I'll tell you what it is. It is your son's birthday. Yeah. So hopefully knock on wood. My son has been born. A health. Congratulations, we're all having a great future. Thanks.

It's just like you. Yeah, I haven't figured out a name. I'm LeBron sniff sniff and look at them LeBron cats. I always wanted to name a kid Reggie. Well, I've actually been. Yeah. Reggie's a good name. I like that.

What's wrong with that? No, what if you, what if you name your kid Hank hates cats? Oh, that's pretty good. All right, so we should, we should, we should set that one up. No, top of the head. So how long has that one been in my draft? So this is the emergency. This is the emergency podcast that we're taping in May.

It's Rocillo Titus, PFT myself. We're in LA. It's the end of grit week. Could Tate not make it? Tate is in the backyard smoking trees. Is that bad that I said that? We're in LA. It's a yeah, it's a yeah, it's over here.

So we are doing like an evergreen episode that we can run. The day that my child is born so that you still have a part of my take. And we thought what better way to do that than have a life advice to your former self and what better way to do that than have Ryan Rasello on who is going through a midlife crisis. Yeah, both, both accurate. All right, so my joggers. Those are pretty nice.

You are wearing, do you not wear socks? Are you in the CrossFit now? Well, I mean, personal best is sort of my thing now. Yeah, that's actually one of my life advice to my former self. I liked it when you see a PR on Instagram. That's a personal record. 20 20. Now we're cooking.

That's now we're cooking 20 years old. You're half a brain. Yeah, third of a brain. No matter how smart you think you are, you're an idiot. Well, that's the problem with your 20. Yeah, is that you think you're smart, but you actually only have having a third of a brain. You can't realize that you only have a third of a brain.

You think you got a full brain. No, when you're 20 and you've only been 20, I know this sounds simple, but this is why everyone older than you hate you, because they all went through the exact same thing where it's like, I got everything figured out. And then you just realize you don't and it doesn't mean you're not smart. It doesn't mean you're not creative. Like when I think about creative people, usually those peak years are in those 20s. You know, you're seeing things for the first time.

You're experiencing them in new ways and you're reacting. And then it's like, you know, I think most creative people, they're special ones, but there's some that's like, hey, you just kind of have like one or two really good ideas when you were young. And then it just you get to hang on for a while. That's most of of this stuff. I mean, how many bands do you go? You know what I liked was their seventh album.

Yes, like it just doesn't really happen. So that's where if I'm young, I kind of want to be like, fuck you to everybody older who's telling me what's up. But we're talking like the general population here, just the normalcy of going through it. You can't you can't have any of this perspective that you're going to need. And you're definitely going to have a little bit later. So nobody really wants to like, they may respect you and be cordial and talk to you, but they still think you're an idiot to leave the room.

Yeah. And you need to know that when you're 20, because you don't want to believe it. You're listening to this. We're like, that's not true. Screw you guys. But the safest bet in the world is that when you turn 30, you're going to go, I can't believe I thought the way I did about everything. It's not like your political beliefs change or your morals change.

It's just it's hard to explain. But another third of life experience makes you realize like all the shit that I thought was so important. And I just I would say I'd finished it this way is all the stuff you think is so important, almost isn't. Here's my question as the old man in the room. Does that ever end? Does this cycle of like, you know, because like the whole reason I got off

Facebook was because when Facebook started doing the, uh, hey, you posted this three years ago, thought you'd like to see this. That was it. I didn't give a shit about the privacy. I didn't give a shit about the memes or the fake news or anything else. It was, I would log into Facebook and be like, remember when you posted this three years ago and then I would cringe and I'd be like, God, I was the worst three years ago.

Thank God I haven't figured out now. And then three years past and then I did do it again. Like, wait, I was an asshole. Then does that ever end? Like when you get in your forties, are you looking back at when you were 36 and you're like, man, post never end. I don't think no, because I could go back and see a tweet that somebody replied to that I wrote three years later and I thought it was hilarious.

Yeah. And they go, that wasn't even funny. So I don't think that ever stops. I hate that. I harassed you for like a full year and a half on Twitter. Yeah, because you harass me so much. I wasn't ever going to give it. Yeah, that wasn't very funny.

That was, that was 20s year old. Like how far back can you go in your, in your tweet history to find something that's genuinely fun? One week. Like, one week. It's all outdated. I think a day old, I'm still sometimes like, oh, what was that? So we're going to do the Mount Rushmore and it's Mount Rushmore of things

that you are elite at. So it is, it could be as obscure specific as you want, but it's things that you think that you are elite at that 99% of the world can't do as well as you can. I love this conversation because I spend time thinking like, what am I closest to the number one world ranking in? Yes, I can tell you do that all the time. You wake up and do that.

Are we going to snake style? Yeah. Why, why don't I want to start because you start. I don't want to start because I have some weird ones and I need to feel the, I need to read the room on how, how you start your contents. Always good. I wouldn't worry about it. I'll start.

That's what, which way are we going? Oh, we'll go over still than me. That tightest. Yeah. All right. I am elite at changing the channel from CBS to Fox on NFL Sunday, going back to the game that I really want to be watching right as the first place starts after a commercial break, like immediately as the ball is being snapped.

That's good. Amazing at it. All my other friends suck at it. I nail it. So you only have one TV. No. Well, I used to only have one TV. If you would have, now I watch Red Zone.

Mr. Don't save any money. Yeah. If you would have kept the $125,000 your job, you'd have more TVs. That's a good point. It is a good skill to be able to go back and forth, like at the exact right moment. Yeah. Because you've sat in a room with a guy who just has no feel.

No, no, that's a worse like, Hey, just hand it over. Is there anything worse than sitting in a room when you're like over the age of maybe 17 and not having the remote? Well, it's painful. We had a roommate who used to, when he went up to the bathroom, you keep it in his pocket. Oh, when he came back, he was still in control. Oh, no, that's the other part of it, too, because he wasn't the cleanest guy.

We used to lose it so much that we taped the remote to a big two by four. Same. And that was the way to go. Yeah, no, exactly. The first time I saw a guy do that, I went out and bought a two by four. Yeah, it was, we literally just had it. We just passed around the two by four. But the other part, the downside of that is when you're that young and you just

have a night where you just flopped down on the couch. And all of a sudden you're like, Ah, yeah, you just get like, what is that? Like, Oh, it's my remote. Yeah. It's it's a foundation. It's a deck post. That was a good one, though. PFT, we're so why don't you start?

If I really want to lock in, nobody's better at me than stopping the gas pump. It's just a string. Oh, really? I'm so good at it. But do we need that skill anymore, though? Do you don't, but I don't want to lose it. We can know that that is a that is the bygone era where you had like $20 in your pocket and you can pump before you pay, right?

And so you got to stop it on 20 because if you go over 20, you're like, fuck, now I got to go have a conversation with the guy, my bad, whatever. But now you have to prepay or you just use your card and like, what's the point of stopping it? I just like to see if I still have it. I just start going and then I just go. What was your number? Were you a 20 guy?

20, yeah, 20 on the 20 was a lot back in the day by 20. Yes. But I think you're fine, though, because that's what I mean. Like, no, like the kid, yeah, I get it, man, credit cards. No, the kids growing up. They're not going to be as good. Yeah, you can be the guy forever. You're going to be an all-time great.

You're like, yeah, I'm like Bill Russell rebounding. Yeah, no one's ever going to touch you on this because yeah, I'm sorry, Titus. I went at you pretty hard there. All right, I am. I think I've told a couple of you guys this, but I am. I think I'm like number one in the world at finding open tables at pack bars or seats in general because of my figure and I don't like to stand very much and I'd rather be home than be at a bar.

If I can't sit, I will always be able to I'll fucking be able to like go out in like the back and like pull in tables. They don't use anymore and set myself up in the back. I also, if you do the stair, it will get anyone uncomfortable. I do the stair at people. Like if they're like pretty close to being done and do the stair and they'll get up so much faster, I will always find an open table. I did the few times that we've been out together.

I've proven by this. Yes. And now that you brag about it, you have to deliver. So there's extra pressure on my friends. Like we'll go to a bar and I'll just like, hold on one sec. Like it's packed. You stare. Doesn't that kind of suck though?

Well, no, I don't stare at like random people. It's when the check is there. If the check's there and they're like like dilly-dally, it's going really well. And they haven't finished the conversation. Well, I mean, look, I feel out the situation, but I'm just telling you, if you come out with me, I will get us a seat because I will not stand up. You ever gone to a table that maybe the checks on the table and it's a super crowded bar and you sit down at the table

before they even get up. Oh, I clean the table myself. No, I will. I will bust my own table so I can have the table. Well, other people are still sitting there. No, they'll get up and I'll bust it and then I'll be like, and I also get the best move to do is to talk to the people that are sitting there. Like, hey, you guys leaving soon?

OK, cool. Can I have this table when you go? OK, cool. So if anyone comes here, just say that I got rights to it. And then maybe just kind of give them a little look like they'll be violent if this doesn't go down the right way. Well, it's a good thing you're not in better shape because you're so big. Right. I'll sit on you because it doesn't go the right way. West guy, especially JJ, what I heard. I am exceptional at moving well through crowds.

So I'm able to get from point A to point B in a big crowd very fast and lose anyone. What? Especially when a table is open, when a table is open, but also dealing with like big crowds, I don't like them, but I can manage them very well. And I also like I'm the guy I was at the box. Well, this is going to be wait later. But I was at the box Raptors game. Number two, Eastern Conference final skit there.

The whole section's standing up for like the first four minutes. I was like, are we doing this? Are we really doing this? Yeah. And I hear a real, real loud down in front and everyone fucking sat down. So I can manipulate crowds very well. And that's not even your team. No, I don't give a fuck about this game. Turn around and told you to shut up. No, I just gave a nice if you do a loud down in front, everyone would be like,

fuck, my bad. They shouldn't be. But that's that's actually that's more of indictment on Bucks fans. Like, why would they sit down? Well, because it was like, no, but it was like, it was like, I didn't pick it when it was like after a Yanis dunk. I picked it like four minutes in and it was like maybe there's a TV timeout or something. They just went down like dumb.

And I just gave the perfect one and just boom, everyone was down. So yeah, I move well and manipulate through crowds very well. Also do the hot soup on a on a packed subway train in New York. If you're trying to get to the exit, just give a quick hot soup coming through and everyone will move out of the way. Swear to God, it's so stupid, but it works every time. Every time who taught you that? I fucking say it every time.

It's hot soup. I can't get through. If I can't get through, you just scream. Yeah, I said that it's only a murder. Is that a skill? Yeah, that's the Midwestern thing I've ever heard. I don't even know. Does that count as being something?

Yes, manipulating crowds. So you just like behave like a lunatic. Correct. Yeah, that also is another way to say I've got a gun. Yeah, that's actually would probably work, dude. Ebola, you know what? You want to share that with me on Mount Rushmore? I'm pretty good at it.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry. I think I'm a lead in it. Yelling hot soup. I love that. I love the thing. Like I love the idea of looking at you yelling hot soup. And it was really your face is so humble. Yeah, that's what that's in your mind.

You think that it's working and everyone thinks you have soup. But really, there's a fucking lunatic. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Point B. It doesn't matter how I got there. All right. All right, next up, we have one of my favorite interviews

of the year, Ike Taylor, former stealer. He had some great stories talking about chasing rabbits down New Orleans and sharing a couple of fun sit downs that he had with James Harrison and how James Harrison has interacted with his own children. OK, we now welcome on two times Super Bowl champion. Two times. Two times Super Bowl champion.

Two more times. Oh, you want four? No, OK. You want two more. Yeah. Do you wear your rings? Not at all. Ever?

Not at all. OK, so it's Ike Taylor from formerly from the Pittsburgh Steelers, two times Super Bowl champion. Where are your rings? At the house. OK. Can I just say that it's really one and a half rings? Because you guys.

Boy, I got to be one and a half. Because the refs got the other half of the ring in the Seahawks Super Bowl. No, not at all. And also that fumble by Bettis against the Colts. That was pretty lucky. Right, but that was not a fault that we won. Yeah, were you.

You give. You're taking the half of my ring. You should give that to Vanderjack. And you're bringing up all the stuff. One and a quarter. One and a quarter. From the Colts. Yeah, one and a quarter is really what it should be.

But y'all hard on the pimp. I heard that you used to train. You used to train your quickness in a very unusual way. You used to chase animals around. What? My uncle was old school. Like in S and S. And I didn't know that that was kind of the norm in Florida.

Like the boys go in the fields and they really chase rabbits. Like that's what they do. Like I was just doing that because my uncle was like, man, this will get you better and faster and quicker. So I was just doing that just because I always had that drive of good work ethic. But you go down in Florida where Fred Taylor's from, where Santonio Holmes is from, they call it Muck City.

Yeah, yeah. Muck City, Florida. That's what them boys really do. Yeah. Them boys really chase rabbits. They run into that high grass stuff. Correct. And they get the chasing.

Yeah. Makes you quick, right? I mean, it's all mental. Have you ever caught a rabbit? No, I got close. You know, it's the ski skirt. They got the ski skirt. I'm not built.

If you get me straight ahead, I'm built. But the ski skirt. Right. So you touch one? You ever touch one? Like a flag football? You get them down on a flag football? With a rabbit?

Yeah. No, I mean, I touch a human being in flag football. No, but I'm saying like, have you gotten that close where you've like holding your hands on it? I've gotten real close. I got nervous. Yeah, because what are you going to do? What do you do?

I'm going to catch the rabbit, then what? The dog chasing the car. And then they finally get it. Right. Uh-oh. Does Big Ben, does he ever, I don't want to say fake injuries, but sometimes the injuries seem more severe than they actually are like a dog like walking on like a cold sidewalk.

And it yelps. It's like, come on, you're fine dog. Anything like that? Am I explaining it well? You're explaining it too well. He's tough as hell. There's no other quarterback in the league can play in Pittsburgh the way seven has played.

Now, it's a lot of injuries. Seven shouldn't have played. Yeah. But he's just a tough. That's what makes seven seven. Just a tough son of a gun. And there's probably a lot of other injuries that seven man, come on, man, stop all that BS.

You got the walking boot on? Like seven, like real like, that's the road we're going down. That's what we doing today. That's what we doing today, seven. Like we, like, so you're going to have the boot on on Monday. But Tuesday, you're going to be all good. Yeah. He's just going to be strapped up with seven ice facts.

He's just walking around like the Michelin man. When the boot goes on, you're not nervous. Because you know it's coming off in a day. It's been it's been in place. I got a camera. Yeah. Seven. I got you.

It's been plenty of times where he's haven't said anything. And you'll be like, damn, how did he play with that injury? Yeah. And it's been a few times where he said something. Yeah. He's always showed that graphic of him after five. That would show like the human body and every single part of it had like red lines of pain shooting out of failure.

Here's an injury. His whole body was like bang. But that's seven. But we all knew and understood could nobody play that position in Pittsburgh like seven, but seven. We're going to be very sad when he retires because he's he's he's one of those guys who makes football fun. 100%.

Yeah. And we did everything together. We did every like to this day. I'm still in the 27 man group text. Really? Super Bowl till this day. A 27 man group man to text. And it's just our kids call each other uncle like Uncle Troy,

Uncle Ike, Chris Hope, Uncle Joey Porter, Casey Hampton. Joey. Like it's just it's just everything is uncle. But one thing I did like about, you know, Coach Cowell and Coach Tomlin, man, it's just he let our sons run around in that locker room. That's cool, which was huge because my son till this day, he's 12.

He still understands and remembers what was going on. Like, amen, because my son play football. Like, why are you trying to run through these boys? He was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul. That's a bad guy. He was like, Uncle James Harrison told me to take the soul out these kids at 12. Yeah.

So they can they can come in the locker room as long as you don't Instagram live or Facebook live. Well, you can just see Jim's hair since your son down or just being like, hey, listen, I need you to take the soul out of these kids. And they're serious. Yeah, they're serious. Like, amen.

Come here. Come here. Ivan. That's my son name. He'll come over there and be like, yes, sir. You play football. Yes, sir. You any good?

Well, I'm just starting. When you hit him, make sure you take the soul out of him. OK, next up, we have our good friend who we just became good friends with, John Rostin. Obviously, he had some controversy these past couple weeks, but we have his back. We will still fight anyone. What was he just being polite?

Yes, being really nice to coaches, having friends. Sorry, the French. Yeah, the art of the thank you note is alive and well. Good luck, coach. But yeah, here he is. John Rostin and a little bit of his crazy, crazy brain. I want to talk about a couple of these tweets and get some explanation for the hits.

Yeah. So you have This Is March. That one is taking on its own life. This This Is March is like. Well, and then like, you know, what? Have you had you have like a rights to that? I don't have the rights to it yet. You need we should do that.

We got it. Actually, just declared that we got it. Look, maybe down the road, but nothing yet. OK, and then you also have the spin off. This is only November. This is only December. Right. Let you know that it's not March.

Correct. Right. So you also are almost trying to stay on brand. Yeah, you're like a calendar, too. Like we know what month it is if you follow. And you know, we only sleep in May. What about tougher than a long weekend at your in-laws? For West Virginia basketball. You only use it for West Virginia?

Only use that for West Virginia. OK. Here's the thing about West Virginia. It's interesting. I went to a practice a couple of years ago, you know, when obviously hugs was the coach and it's three hours and it's all the three hours. I was like sitting there and it's like hand-to-hand combat.

They're scrimmaging. And they go through nine possessions each for a team and they're keeping score. And it's two to two. And like I'm sitting there and I'm just like, this is like Russell Crowe and Gladiator. There we go. We're getting a little bit of the show.

That was like what I was getting into. I couldn't believe it. So I was just like, you know, I'm just sitting there in practice. Hugs is walking around. He's going hard after. I remember Sagaba Kanate, who you remember. Javon Carter was on the team.

Yeah, for 15 years. And I was just kind of like this. I was like, this practice is like tougher than a weekend at somebody's in-laws. And I'm not even married. I was like, wait a minute. That's cold. It's cold.

So I was like, for the first game, for the first game, I'm going to tweet it. Did you write it down? Wrote it down in my notebook. And the best part is this year they were struggling. And when I tweeted it, all the West Virginia fans were like, God, how I missed this tweet. I don't want to take it for granted anymore.

I like that. I like the fact that you're not even married, but you just know how tough a weekend at the in-laws can be. Halford stories. I've been single in New York for a long time. I'm not single now. OK, I've got one here that I actually have a bone to pick with.

West Virginia is like a Fortune 500 company. That's Villanova. Sorry, Villanova is like a Fortune 500 company. It runs itself. Do you know how Fortune 500 companies work, like with the CEO and board of directors? Well, I tweaked that. I tweaked that one.

And now it's just Villanova Basketball has become a Fortune 500 company. And now it's just Villanova Basketball, a Fortune 500 company. That was in the early stages. I'm thinking like Topher Grace, In Good Company. Remember that when they started? Of course.

With the movie with Dennis Quaid, Scarlett Johansson, before she became Scarlett Johansson. But that was more the early stages, so on and so forth. How have you seen a movie in the last five years? In the last five years. What did I see recently? Creed II, I was very disappointed. The original Creed, you give me Ricky Collins.

But that's a movie from the 80s. So of course you saw that. Creed II. No, I'm saying like it's the Rocky. Jurassic World. Yeah, that's from the mid-90s. I read that you watch a part of Rocky II, Rocky III, before every time you go on the air.

Is that still true? That was true. I've been, I've had to decrease my Rocky influence because my girlfriend moved in my apartment. And I had this big plaque in my apartment of Rocky II, III, and IV on one wall. I can't believe you're single for this long. And then on the other side, there's a picture of Rocky IV

as well. I mean, for a while, you know, that was it. Rocky consumed your life. Did you guys think Over the Top was underrated? Oh, I loved that. Over the Top is great. Yeah. One of the best.

Although the little kid is such a, oh, he's so annoying. Yeah, but the world doesn't mean nobody halfway. There we go. Right. What about a VCU home game, more life altering than a 10-day trip to Europe? So a couple of questions here. One is, have you done a 10-day trip to Europe?

Never been to Europe. I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never been to Europe. No, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never been to, I've never been to Europe. I've never had a cup of coffee. I've never played golf and I've never had a glass of wine. Okay. You've never had a glass of wine?

No, I tried it once and it didn't stick. Okay. All right. So, so you've heard that going to Europe for 10 days is like. True story. I was back and forth with a girl for two years and, you know, polar opposites, really nice girl or whatever. But this was like peak shocker.

Okay. And like, you know, we would get into arguments and stuff. She'd be like, oh, you got to get more cultured. Like you haven't, you know, even been to Europe or whatever. I was like, hey, but you haven't been to a home game at the Segal Center. And I was like, this was peak shocker. This was Travion Graham, Briante Weber. Like you want to do push-ups on picket fences when they put the press on.

And so this was kind of my subtle way after we broke up to kind of like send, you know, a shot across the bow. Oh, I like that. I actually am treating you as a gopher. Now I really like it. Every time you put that out there, I know that somebody's just getting like a knife twisted. Have you ever explained these? Because these are so great.

Like these make them so much better. No, but please go on. I'm enjoying it. Here's another one. We've got a few of these. Virginia basketball, a thing of beauty. 2014, 15 season. Kentucky starts out 38.

No. And people are killing Virginia. Virginia is the other team. Remember, until Justin Anderson got hurt, people are saying, well, Virginia could be Kentucky. And I'm watching them game after game. Only one team could be Kentucky that year. Wisconsin, but they love to do it. OK, OK.

But I'm watching, you know, Virginia play throughout the season. And if you're a basketball purist, you know, not turning it over, taking good shots. And the way they can control the game. If you're old, you like that pack line defense. I have great respect. And look, I know we're taping this before the NCAA tournament. Virginia has won 33 and 3 in the ACC regular season over the last two years. Right.

It's not duker. Like you have to tip your cap at some point. So I was just like, this is a thing of beauty. And I was like, wait a minute, everybody says it's ugly. I was like, I'm going to drop this. And all of a sudden it's like, you know. Do you have a notebook on you right now? I have one in my bag.

Like in case, in case genius strikes. I always sleep with a notebook and a pen. You're not far away because if I get a thought. Yeah, we knew that. Yeah. You didn't have to tell us. Yeah. OK, the next interview, this is with Blake Bortles. It was Blake and Jared Goff in Jared's guest house in Los Angeles. And Blake was talking to us about how he bought a Tesla,

which is an all time story. The reason why he bought it and how he bought it. What is grit? How do you define grit? A lot of people have been saying, California guys don't have grit. Is that right? Yeah. A lot of so Cal isn't gritty. What are you guys doing here?

Kind of talk. I mean, grit is like just being like in the dirt, I guess. Like I think of like dirt. I think of like a muddy field. Like who close your eyes or like or like it's like a hundred degrees out in like a summer practice and you don't have much grass on the field. And it's like dusty. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Dusty pants. Because it's close to global warming. Super dry. You got dust in the mouth. California is in a drought. Yes, exactly. Hopefully no more wildfires. No more fire.

Well, actually, if there are wildfires, Jared Goff will put it out. That's right. Because people forget he put out a wildfire. You know, yeah. Yeah. OK. Thank you guys for your service. With a little with a half a bottle of Desani.

That's right. They saved California. All right, Blake, what's grit for you? Good. Grit to me is kind of more like an acronym. Oh, getting raunchy in the trenches. Oh, OK. With two T's, G R I T T.

Grit. Yes. But yeah, just like the junction boys. What about? Yeah. What about getting raunchy in the Tesla? Because we saw your new fancy California car. So Blake's driving a electric car. What's up with that Tesla? A Tesla.

So the plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping, because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station. So no, I just go to the gas station to buy it. That's a very expensive way to quit dipping, but more power to you. Yeah. I actually thought you were joking when I first saw it. I thought it was like you were messing around.

Like, oh, I'm in California. I'm a rent a Tesla. You get a Tesla. I also wanted to fit in. But I like I have a pickup truck back in Jacksonville. And I was like, I don't really want to bring that out to California. Right. So I figured I'd buy something where I could fit in.

So have you gone to the gas station? Wait, how does it? You just plug it in at home? Yeah. And there's a charger at the facility. So when you drive to work to the Rams facility, do you actually drive or do you just do auto? No, I let it just get on the highway and like you double click the thing twice.

And it just drives you all the way. Are you just sitting there like scrolling through your phone? Yeah, I kind of check the news and see what's going on. That's incredible. It beeps like every 60 seconds and you got to touch the wheel and then it just. So let you know you're alive? Yeah, you can't take a nap or something like eat breakfast

in your car on the way to work. You can. Yeah. That's pretty sweet. Tell them how you bought it. That actually. Wait, but hold on. Before you tell us how you bought it, that actually seems like the perfect car to be able to dip in.

It's perfect. You don't have to worry about your hands, like where the bottle is. There's no more like a bottle between your. Yeah, you ended up trying to pull one out while you're like mid driving. So right, technically, the. Yeah, you should probably safer.

Pick it up a very safe. You ended up getting like a trip chamber just for dipping. That's what the Tesla is. They should market themselves like that. They put out a camo version of the car. I think the Venn. A Masioke Tesla. Yeah, the Venn diagram of people who dip and people on Tesla.

That we don't touch. It's probably just Blake. Yeah, just Blake Bortles standing there. All right, so how it tells the story of how you bought it. So I needed like an SUV because I like I have a truck and like I wanted something like a Tahoe or you know, something like that just to drive around. And I was kind of looking at websites

and then I ended up on the Tesla website and I was like, you know, design your own. So I'm like, I'm gonna see what I can do here. And then I got to the last page and there was a buy now button. And I was like, well, I got to hit this. I got a call immediately like, hey, congratulations on your Tesla purchase.

Like I get issues. Yeah, right. Like you customize my own. Yeah, so I guess that's kind of how they're doing it now. So did you have to like enter a credit card number for the buy now button? Or it was just like on your honor. I immediately called me.

It was just like I was sitting over the wiring instructions. Oh my God. All right. That's where we got one. Okay, before we get to our last two interviews, a quick word from our friends at MeUndies. Listen guys, we made it, the holidays came and went so fast and they'll be missed.

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to get your 15% off your first pair of free shipping and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to meundies.com slash take. That's meundies.com slash take, meundies.com slash take. Okay, we're gonna wrap up our interviews with, we have a double here. It's Rome cubed when PFT and Devlin and Frank Caliendo did Rome on Rome on Rome.

And then when PFT did his Patrick Mahomes impression for Patrick Mahomes himself. So these were great moments from 2019. And we'll wrap up with this and then we have more best of coming up after this. Well, I think we talked about Rome last time. He didn't talk to me but didn't look at me. Yes, he does that with everyone.

What did he give you on a scale of one to 10? Didn't he? He gives everybody the same thing. Negative five. Negative five. Negative five. Send this clown back to Chino Hills. Great as this.

What is going on right now? No idea. I'd like to cut off this guy's jib. Legend. Right now, what we're doing is trying to figure out the timing of the other guy's Rome impression. That is absolutely correct. You just mouthed a full sentence in between words.

That is ridiculous. PFTTFFF. Cut this guy's vibe. This guy's a clown. Absolute clown. He knows a clown. The dude who lives in the sewer in that Stephen King movie. Ooh, that's a scary movie.

Ridiculous. No clutching on that guy. Don't bring that up. He does not have it. That movie's scary. It's not heavy at all. Great line. Great.

Thanks, Rome. I feel like I just complimented myself, which is what I'm internally doing constantly. Get on there. Get on there. Here we go. We have a Rome party. Great as that, Rome.

Let me join. Rome cubed. This is what we need to do. We need to get on our cell phones at the Vatican and call each other. Rome in Rome in Rome. I love it. Are you getting this?

I call this the Roman centipede. Next up, we got Dan from Segundo. Dan, what's on your mind? Dan, hold on a second, guys. I hate to cut you off. Actually, I love it. But the Roman centipede might be the greatest reference I've ever heard.

We're going to cut each other's bottoms off and connect ourselves and regurgitate takes through our own mouths and esophage. Rome through Rome. Rome's throat and butthole are burning. Brought to you by Siki. We'll be back after this. Dan from Chicago.

That was Rome cubed. The brawner intent. Rome cubed. I forgot the devil who's in here. Infinity war. Rome as well. I don't know what just happened. And now for something completely different.

Do you want to ask one question in the Patrick Holmes? How good were you at playing 500 when you were a kid? And you bet you could throw the football a quarter mile right straight through the clouds. All I heard was football as a kid. And I didn't play football until I was in high school. Patrick, you misheard me. Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds.

I heard it because I can hear you. Patrick, I was playing 500 with boys in the backyard. I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand. I can't understand what you're saying. Coach Reed's. No, Coach Reed's is on point, man. Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like.

So to me, it's on point at least. OK, next up we have the Boner Dog saga. 2019 was the year of the Boner Dog. It was the year that we got to actually pitch the film itself to the Sandman, Adam Sandler, and Kevin Garnett. And we got to see it kind of go from just a little idea that we had in the back of Annie Woodhead into being potentially a major motion pitcher that will be

developed over the next two years. Yeah, if you've listened to the show, you've heard it happen over the years, but this is everything condensed in a tight fashion. Love it. You starred, I think you were the star of a number of Adam Sandler movies, your friends with Adam Sandler. We want to pitch you some Adam Sandler movie ideas,

and you tell us if you think you would make them. You ready? OK, all right, first one. It's, you know the movie, This Is 40? Judd Apatow? Yeah. All right, so this is the sequel. It's called This Is 40, and Adam Sandler

plays Dr. Peter Yu, Dr. P-U, and he is a millionaire proctologist in LA. And it's starring Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, cameos from Kevin Farley, Kevin James, Will Ferrell, and you. OK, I like it. Do you think he'd make it? No, I love it.

So the next movie, this one is the exact same plot as Will No, keep it going. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I got a gift. I'm getting a gift. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's called Boner Dog. Oh, no. Boner Dog.

So it's Old Yeller, except he's got a boner the whole time. Wow. That was a great interview. Man, that thing went by so quickly. It only felt like 30 minutes. You said earlier in this podcast, if you can look into a director's eyes and feel the movie they're trying to make, you're in.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yes. So that's that was something I said. But I'm boner dogs. Yeah, so look into our. I'm boner dogs. Yeah, very rare. Boner dogs.

OK, you start. I'll start. OK. And by the way, the in the eyes thing isn't like you don't have to stare into my eyes. Oh, you put you said in the eye. We're very real people. I don't look straight.

I've gathered your vibe. Just tell me the pitch. OK, OK. Boner dogs. OK, here's how it goes. The name wins. Yes, OK, so it's yes. It's Iditarod.

Do you know the Iditarod? They're running around in Alaska. Snow dogs. Sidebar. Hold on. Rush. What's the movie? Rush.

I fucking forgot to splat the boner. Besides the fact that the dog has a boner. All right, so. OK, boner dogs. Think about it. Yeah, boner dogs. What my colleague. I'm going to let PFT take it from here.

I could I could help you write it. What my colleague was trying to say and trying to the point he was trying to get across is the dog has a boner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the dog has a boner. Yeah. And so they all it's a pack of sled dogs, right? And they go out and they all make fun of this one boner dog because he's got a boner.

Yeah. And none of the other dogs. No, you've always got a boner dog. These flaccid little dog dicks that are red. And so they get lost out in the wilderness, right? Super lost. And the only way they can get back is boner dog follows the trail of his boner to get back home.

It's like a little fucking rudder. Get this. The dogs are played by Kevin Hart. Mm-hmm. Or their voices. It could be animated. Either what you're called. Oh, I love Kevin.

One more sidebar. One more sidebar. Jack Black. Let's make sure that we give Zach the role of the boner. The lead boner. No, the boner. OK. The voice of the boner.

Redo it, redo it. Kevin Hart. Get there. Will Ferrell. Mm-hmm. Adam Sandler. Mm-hmm. David Spade.

Chris Rock. Kevin James. Kevin James. The Rock. Rod Schneider. The Rock actually plays a rock. Guys, guys, if you can cast that movie, just call it Boner Dogs and you win.

OK, but you're going to have to do anything. Yeah, I'll be in it. I'll count. Yeah, we're going to give you the voice of the boner. OK, cool. We have a movie that we're out in market to when you know Adam Sandler. Yeah, you know Adam Sandler, so.

Zac Efron's attached. Yeah, Zac Efron's loosely attached. Wow. Yeah, it's called Boner Dogs. Boner Dogs. Yeah, Boner Dogs. Zac Efron is loosely attached. We have discussed it with him.

And he said, sounds interesting. Well, he was like, yeah. Yeah, actually, he was kind of. He was really into it. Yeah, he was into it. He looked us in our eyes. Yeah. That's what he did.

He was like, I can tell that he was passionate about it. Yeah. So I don't know if you want to get loosely attached. But actually, you already are loosely attached just by sitting here. Loosely attached is a good name for something. Yes, good band name. We basically just pitch it to him.

Then we're like, now you're loosely attached. Right. Loosely attached. Yeah, band name. I think I want to name like a movie that or an album. Yeah, maybe that's the movie. You go around Hollywood and you just tell the movie script to people and then you go to the next person.

It's like a pyramid scheme for a movie. It's Boner Dogs or This Is Farty. You can decide which one you want to be loosely attached to. We already have Zac Efron, Adam Sandler, and Rob Schneider. Lawrence Taylor is attached to it. Lawrence Taylor. Dan Patrick. We have someone already playing the part of the boner.

Ice Cube. In Boner Dogs. I like Boner Dogs. It's hookier. OK, so you're in. This is easy. And you're good friends with Adam Sandler. We actually made this script for Adam Sandler.

Well, I realize I'm not the lead anymore. But if Adam's here. No, you can be the boner. You can be the boner. We're here to offer you the boner. You can be the voice of the boner. Your animation. Your Adam's dick.

Oh, it's animated. Yeah, so Adam will be the dog and you'll be the boner. I'm like the little red lipstick. Yeah, exactly. They get lost in the woods and his boner brings them all the way back. Kind of like a Hansel and Gretel meets Rudolph, the red-dose reindeer. They're lost in the woods. They all make fun of him because he's got a boner all the time.

And he just drags in the snow. He leads a track behind. You like it? I would make fun of him. OK, you like it? It feels like it needs a bit of a handmade tail. OK. You can woven it.

I mean, he can wear one of those little white bonnets, the boner, so he can't chew on his boner. Yeah, there you go. There you go. I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it. Self-sucking boner. All right, well, yes.

You're loosely attached, since we met you, you're loosely attached. What kind of movie do you think we can make to get into Ken? We've got some ideas, but I don't know if they're like Art House enough. My tuxedo's like seven years old. One's called Boner Dogs. Yeah, wait, wait, stop. Hit me with these ideas.

Go. Oh, Boner Dogs. I mean, we can pitch you with Boner Dogs, but it seems like it'd be too elevated. Pitch me now. You have it. You give me the elevator pitch. Adam and I are dying for something to do,

and we said if it could have to do with dogs, that would be great talking. It's called Boner Dogs. And it's about this dog that always has a boner. And it's got, he's like the leader of a pack of sled dogs. And they get lost. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Were you any further? Have we seen it before? No, no, we haven't. OK, this is kind of a new concept. It's like a mix between Debbie Does Dallas and Snow Dogs. And Rudolph. Yeah, well, before we go any further, let me just say the dogs are voiced by Zac Efron.

He's attached to it. Correct. I heard his episode. Yeah, Ice Cube is loosely attached. Loosely attached. Adam Sandler is what we're hoping for. Kevin James, Chris Farley, Chris Robb, Rob Schneider, are all voices of the dog.

David Spade. David Spade is the voice of the boner. And the dog gets lost in the wood. The voice of the boner. And the only way that he can get back is by following the trail of his little red lipstick that's guided them out there in the snow. So it's like, it's like, it's like Rudolph.

The end there, a call came around. At first it was funny, and then it got so emotional. The dog got lost. It's a whole thing about don't boner shame and all that stuff. Kids will learn from this. Guys, I am. You want to throw that fucking money at it? 100%.

This is why you did that 70s show, so that you could finance the fashion projects. Be the sugar daddy. Captain is getting into the film industry. I've got a lucrative opportunity for you, and a prestigious opportunity for being honest, because I think that with the names that we have attached, it could really do something.

It's a movie. If you'd like to invest in it, if you'd like to start it, produce it, act in it, up to you, it's called Boner. Wait, wait, Adam. OK. It's for Kevin. It's for Kevin. It's not for you.

It's called Boner Dogs. It's not just Boner Dogs. It's a Boner Dog. So far, so good. Boner? Adam. Boner? I thought you said Boner.

Like dogs. Adam, I'll give away the whole plot. What's that, growing pains? Like growing pains, Boner? Yeah, yeah. OK, go ahead. Adam, if I have a movie to pitch to you, I'll do it, but I'm talking to Kevin now.

This is his opportunity. Boner Dogs? Boner Dogs. So it's about a team of sled dogs, and they make fun of the one who's not allowed to really be the sled dog, because he's always got a boner. And none of the other ones get, you like that?

So far, it's good. And all the other ones, they don't have boners, but one does. It's kind of like a Rudolph the Red Nose radio type thing. Adam. I'm saying it, and I'm laughing in a great, great way. You're nailing this pitch piece. And then, OK, and so they bring in the dog that has the boner, and he's actually the one that

saves the day at the end, because they get lost in the woods, but his boner drags through the snow, and they don't have any time to find their way back. Yes, so Kevin, the people that we have loosely attached, and this is all true. We've talked to all these people, all people that we've interviewed, loosely attached. We have David Spade.

We have Jimmy Tatro. We have Lawrence Taylor. We have who else? Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider. No, we don't. You've got Kevin James. Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock. Who's playing the boner dog? Well, the boner itself is voiced by Will Ferrell. The dog. How many dogs do you have? We need nine dogs. You need nine dogs? Nine dogs.

Just like reindeer all year. Are you in, or you're out? I'm in. All right, so Kevin, Adam. Are you interested? You want to invest? Want to get in? Halfway.

Exactly, to produce the kind of thing? Yeah, you want to do it. OK, if you want, that's fine. OK, so Adam Sandler, executive producer of Boner Dogs, official. Also, this is actually a good opportunity for both of you. We're talking about Oscar buzz. With this, we could even target, like microtarget a category. So we'll film it.

We'll do it in animated short overseas, so it can be eligible for best for an animated short. But we'll tape it in the Bahamas. And so we just get everybody to fly down there for a vacation. And then while you're here, do the voice over for the Boner Dogs. And so you guys will be Oscar winners as well. Are we in?

About that, or maybe. Yeah, all right. Are we in? You wouldn't say no to an Oscar, right? No, but I don't live for it. Well, you're going to want to get me one, yeah. This will be your second one, after I'm done. Exactly.

We're getting the wrap up. We've got the wrap up, like, way before the Boner Dogs pitch. You guys needed the Boner Dogs. Paper this Boner Dog. Let me see how serious y'all are. We have some renderings. Yeah, you know. Dogs have boners.

Dogs have boners, and it's always funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. All right. OK, PFT, I have a question for you real quick. Seekik question, promo code TAKE. Hit me.

Get $10 off your Seekik purchase when you put in promo code TAKE. Did we or did we not fulfill one of our long time promises this year and give the listeners an airport review? We did. We did. Still haven't joined a cult just yet, but we're working on that.

Did we do one airport review or two? We've done one. We did one. I think we did another one on Instagram Live or something like that, but we did do an airport review. This was in the Minneapolis airport. Indianapolis. Indianapolis airport.

The same place. Mindy andapolis. Yeah. So let's do the airport review. A bunch of civilians over here in the channel. I'm going to buzz over real quick. You killed my boy. He fell down the body stairs and you shoved him.

Off the fucking cell, mate. I want fire. Where are you? I want fire. Ah, the boats. The boats were supposed to be here. Why'd you knock on my head? Why'd you knock out that little lad?

How did we plan a war with one of our soldiers? His blade and soldier's head. Why would we put all our soldiers over there? There's oil in the water. He's bleeding from his head. There's oil. The oil is the heaps of oil. Hey, I'm from One Direction.

I shoot rifles. OK, welcome. Hold on, PFT. Let's do a quick intro real quick. So this is. We are in the Indianapolis airport right now. We just got off the flight. Hank is under the influence of narcotics

after oral surgery. And we actually. Wait, hold on, hold on. We got to like, this is the first airport. This is a big moment. This is a big moment. This is the first airport review we've ever done. And we just landed.

And it's like, this is, are you nervous? No, not at all. We're in Indianapolis. You know why I'm not nervous? Because we had a delightful pair of flight attendants on that plane. And they took special care of Big Cat and I. And they actually want to talk to us.

So I think it'd probably be a good place to start asking them with their opinion of the Indianapolis airport is. So let's go talk with them. OK, Hank, come on. We're not cutting any of this. So just make sure this is it. OK, we're here with our two flight attendants from our trip from LaGuardia to Indianapolis.

We have Miss Tai. Hi. And Cynthia. Cynthia. Cynthia and Tai. So first question, how were we as passengers on your flight? Good question. Hilarious.

Wait, hold on. Hilarious and well-behaved, I heard. Yes, hilarious and well-behaved. OK. But more well-behaved. OK, now between Dan and I, Big Cat and I, which one of the two of us do you think was a cooler passenger on your plane?

I love you both, but I'm going to have to say Big Cat. Yep, exactly. Didn't think that was going to happen, PFT. I don't know why you made it a competition. That's unfortunate. Do you? What is the proper? There's been a lot of debate in recent history.

Is it flight attendant? Is it stewardess? Is it flight assistant? I'm going to take this one. So it's flight attendant, not stewardess, because we're not there as your steward to clean up after you. We're there to attend to you during an emergency. So it's flight attendant.

Get it right, y'all. It's not 1952 anymore. I noticed that you pulled a nice little trick at the start of the flight to get everybody's attention during the safety briefing. You held up a phone. You said somebody left their phone on the jet way. Now that I have your attention, I'm

going to teach you guys how to be safe. What other cool tricks do you guys have that you like to pull on us? I have a few. Tell yours, because yours are probably better than mine. Mine are mostly, you know, everybody loses things in the airport. So I tell them, oh, I found something in the jet bridge.

Just give me a second. And they're all waiting, bated breath. What am I going to pull out? And it's a safety card. That's good. That's good. I would have fallen for that one. So when you came around and asked if everyone wanted stuff,

you gave me a Diet Coke, and I didn't take out my tray. And you saw me just kind of raw dog Diet Coke. Were you impressed by that move? Very impressed. I could tell it was very impressive. There was this awkward moment where Ty was like, is he just going to hold this cup and the Diet Coke? And I was like, fuck yeah, I am.

Went for it. Yep. You went for it. I was very surprised. Wouldn't you say it's a little bit more of a baller move, though, that I had a beer and Dan only had a Diet Coke? Well, it's not a baller, because I gave you a beer pre-departure, and you didn't drink it.

Oh, PFT keeps losing. I want a fish or a track. Why me this competition? I wanted on the record that I did drink the beer. I just didn't know that I had to open and drink it before take-off. And then she confiscated my beer from me, and then I couldn't get her back until that thing

dinged at me above 10,000 feet. What do you guys rank the Indie Airport? Scale 1 to 10. I would say it's number one in the nation. Whoa, wow. That is strong. We picked a good place to start. Start at the top.

And you, Ty? I'd say maybe 10 being the highest or 1 being the highest. Well, she just ripped my scale to shreds and said just one overall. Yeah, she said number one overall. I'm just asking scale 1 to 10. All right, if one's the lowest, I'm going to say like a, no, you said in the nation, I'm going to say five.

Five, that's a rookie score. OK, one flight, everybody knows the rules. All right, all right. Well, thank you, ladies. Appreciate it. It was a great flight, beautiful flight, and we appreciate you guys. And thanks for listening.

Yeah, thanks for getting us here today. Thank you so much. Shout out to myself. Oh, shout out to West. OK, shout out to Cynthia's niece, Ashley West. That was awesome. That was great. Thank you guys.

All right, thank you guys. All right, here we go. So I think we learned a lot. Here, let's move over here, PFT, real quick. So we have, see ya, bye. So we're not going to cut any of this. So we are just outside of, what gate are we in? This is gate A1 through 5.

We're at A5. And we are now going to walk to our baggage claim. And we're going to give you a live review of the Indianapolis airport we are dragging. So to paint a visual for everyone who's listening right now, Hank is walking behind us with the recorder. We have microphones in our hands. We're going to, someone's going to trip.

We promise. Someone's going to trip. Little fun fact behind the scenes, a part of my take. It was at this very location right here that we found out that Barstow Ventol got picked up by ESPN. Yes. So we're very happy, young, dumb, and full come. So here we're.

Yeah, that's right. Hank puked on that flight. First stop we're going to make is actually the bathroom right across from the Harry and Izzy's. We can't bring the camera in. Yeah, let's leave our bags right here. So we're going to bring Hank in. We'll be back for the camera.

You go in the middle of your journal. Bubba, just maybe do like an ambiance videotape thing. And then we'll put it into the show so people can just kind of see it. Little pro tape. Here we go. What's up, Robert Crabb? Oh, wait, sir, what's your name?

I'm not going there. OK. What do you think? You got it jerked off, huh? No, I just think I hate Boston. I hate all of you. I love Boston. OK, but what about Robert Crabb?

Like the jerked off thing? There was a jerked off. E. Yeah, he's being my jerked off thing. You came to me and asked, what about Robert Crabb? I said, you got jerked off. I think he is guilty. Surely to God. Any relation to Bob Kravitz?

Me? No. Do you work for the NFL? OK, thank you, sir. I live here. I'm a zippers halfway through. Oh, yeah, I know. I'm about to go to the bathroom.

Just hanging out in the airport. You stopped us right before we got to the bathroom. Well, yeah, we were walking. I do appreciate that you just stopped us and said, hey, what do you think about Bob Kravitz? I know who you guys are. Oh, thank you. And I just evolved.

You know, I'm so close. I'm just not a fan of it. OK, well, appreciate it. You know what? That's why we love sports. I'm a Coles fan. And obviously, you guys beat the shit out of us too much. And that's why I don't like it.

Yeah, but you guys got that cool banner. The 2014 AFC finalists. That's a one of a kind. Yeah, that's tough. I don't think any other team has that. Actually, it's super bowl as many times as you guys do. All right, thank you, Mr. Ursa. We got to go.

You guys don't think you guys are actually cheap, do you? Well, let's take this into the bathroom. Let's go in the bathroom. Join us in the conference room. We're going to use the bathroom. So all right, we only have PFT. You use this. Hank's going to wait out here.

I'm going to use that stall. I'm going to use the handicapped stall here. So PFT, I'm actually using. All right, so quick review here. PFT, let me start. The handicapped stall has its own sink. That is nice. That's unbelievable.

How's the flow in there? OK, this non-handicapped stall is actually very spacious. I would actually say that this non-handicapped stall is as spacious as most handicapped stalls. That's nice. Now, it doesn't have the amenities that yours does. No sink in here, but very large bowl. As you can see, I've been going for a while.

I just got the flush. And it's still not close to being filled up yet. I fit a lot of soup in here. My urine was very dark because it was a flight. And it actually, people don't realize when you fly, because of the air, the altitude. Thank you, sir. The air, it sucks all the water out of your body,

so you get very dehydrated. You've got to make sure you hydrate when you fly. Also, I would say that the best part about getting off of a plane is that first post-airplane fart that you have. For whatever reason, just the altitude sucks all up in here. So let's do a quick review. Dennis Robbins, good.

So let's do a quick review where we're standing in the bathroom. So I thought my stall was fantastic. Let me take a look at yours. It was spacious. See that extra sink? Why didn't you pee in the sink? The first one was a sink. That's a big mistake.

Big mistake. I thought the hand washers were great. Lack of urinals is a problem. There's only three. I feel like there's probably some clutter in here. It's a small airport, though. Here's where I rate my airport bathrooms. If you walk in and you don't have the overpowering smell

of the shit right away, you're already like a good airport. Yeah, another thing that I noticed, I don't see any puddles. A lot of times there are just puddles laying around these airport bathrooms. I don't see any here. I was very, very impressed with the width of that bathroom. Yeah. It really spread out, even in the non-handicap stall,

which is a nice experience. I think we should actually leave, because there actually now is a gentleman taking a poop. Yeah. You guys have a good trip. All right, you too. Leave us the fuck alone, man. That guy followed us through the bathroom

and kept asking us questions. He almost accosted me with my zipper down. It was actually probably a sex crime. OK. OK, good. Let's go. All right, so that Herion Izzy's now has goods from cocktail. That's not.

Oh, yeah, they have the St. Elmo's cocktail. They have the St. Elmo's cocktail right there, which makes no sense when you think about it, right? I don't know. Why would St. Elmo's let Herion Izzy do it? Because they're probably a sister restaurant. I would imagine. Wait, hold on.

I have to figure out my hands here. OK. All right, so we're going to walk. So now we've got to follow to ground transportation. So overall, PFT, what would you give? The bathroom on, we're talking scale 1 to 10. What is that? 7 and 1 half.

7 and 1 half. Now, something we should note is that it's 8.15 in Indianapolis. Everything is closed. Literally everything is closed. Well, you might find a Hudson News. Even the moving walkway has stopped. Flight attendant just said, welcome to Indianapolis. Like, that's the thing here.

Everything closes early. Yeah, which I'm OK with, honestly. So I say we're walking away from where we need to go. Let's do one moving walkway and then go to the baggage. OK, you going to do any tricks on it? Nope. I might pull a trick. Here's what really pisses me off.

People who get aggressive on the moving walkway, it fucking stops. What's the deal with the moving walkway? Hey, what's the deal with people on the moving walkway? But I will say, why don't they build the entire airport out of moving walkways? The whole world. How come it's just like one stretch here?

So yeah, it is a ghost town. I think we were the last flight at 8.10 PM. We were the last flight to come into Indianapolis. I like they run a lean operation, though. Not a lot of overhead here. And also, the fact that not too many flights land here mean that it's really clean. Here's a fun fact.

People messing it up. Here's a fun fact about the Indianapolis airport. I once bought a tinted dip here. I couldn't believe it. I really wanted a tinted dip. And I found a store. And they sold me a tinted skull. And I was like, what the hell?

You feel like that in an airport? I was just taking my shot. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that's always a soft spot in my heart. We have a TSA security person coming up on our Louie that's left in the Marine Corps. OK, let's go.

I just want to say for the record, that is one of the finer airport Chick-fil-A's that I've ever been to. Yes. And right next to a nature's table, so you can get your smoothie, feel good about yourself, have a Chick-fil-A, feel terrible about yourself, and their statements on homosexuals.

Yep. Didn't mean to go there. I mean, I just go there for the chicken. Yeah. I just really like the chicken. OK, this is going to be interesting how we're going to navigate this with all these cords, but we're going to try to take the escalators here.

OK. There are three escalators. They don't get stuck on this escalator, like Portland Trail Blazers. Two that go down, one that goes up, and a stairs that goes up, dot down. I think probably sometimes they reverse course on the middle one, depending on the traffic flow.

So it's nice to have that option. See, like on the next one right across the way from us, they've got two going up and just the one going down. Oh, we just heard that the walkway is dynamite. Very excited to see the walkway now. We're going to find our bags. This might actually be a problem, because we are. We have checked bags.

I like that they really doll this place up for the combine, huh? Yeah. All the flare. We've got a Christian McCaffrey pillar over there. Oh, Lucas is coming home. That's great. Lucas is coming home.

Where's Lucas coming home from? Where's Lucas coming home from? Denver. Denver. Nice. I thought you were going to say like a rack or something, but he's just been at Denver for a while. Welcome Anastasia Beaverhousen.

Let's go. Is that a new arrival? Yes. OK. Talking babies, folks. There we go. OK. Blowing grace reference.

Thanks, guys. All right, we're going this way. PFT. My parents wouldn't let me watch that. Because we're too busy dining at Chick-fil-A. I thought we were going to just get a fucking awesome like military arrival. Nah, Lucas has just been chilling in Denver

getting fucking high as shit. Who's the Beaverton? Anastasia Beaverton? I don't know. I don't watch that show either. Is there a new flame? Let's get the bags and let's go. We'll do the walkway and then we'll end it.

Liam can hang with the bags. Do we know where we're going? Are these the bags? Oh, those are your bags. So these look like our bags. All right, so how we're going to end this is we're going to do, let's see. Let's check out the walkway because that guy

said the walkway was sick. He said the walkway was nice. The one wildcard at some of these airports is how long it takes you to get into an Uber. Yeah, well, we got to re-rent the car. Oh, we got the convertible? No, we did not get a convertible. All right, so you stay with the bags, Liam.

We'll just put in a place filler for people who are watching on Barstool Gold. All right, let's go. Let's walk. We'll finish the review. You can leave your bag, PFT. Both of them? Yeah, we'll just leave them right here with Liam.

Liam, we're leaving all the bags with you. Liam's going to have to take all the bags? No, we're coming back. We're going to literally do the walkway, then we're going to come back. Let's go do the walkway. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, check this out, Elite Baggage.

I wonder what passes for Elite Baggage. I think this person's going to ask for a picture. Yeah, OK. We're literally watching a video right now. Love it. What's up, man? What does Elite Baggage mean? I deliver luggage and whatnot.

OK, yeah. I thought it was really the stuff that. I actually got some questions for Big Cat here about last night's loss, honestly. The Wisconsin game? Yeah, that sucked. I don't really want to talk about it. So we don't have to run in losses.

Double overtime, terrible loss. You can't give wins to those losers down there, as far as the. Oh, you're a Purdue guy? Oh, yeah, I'm watching them right now. They just started. Actually, you're kind of messing me up. I'm watching them. OK.

All right, we'll see you then. We'll leave you be. The real unfortunate thing about people when they see Big Cat sometimes is they feel like they can come up to him and just make fun of all the losses that he has gravely. It happens every time. Which is tough, because you already lost once.

You don't need to have a guy to remind you. A common thing will be, hey, Big Cat, what are you betting on? And then we have to sit there, and I have to rattle through everything, and it takes way too long. But all right, so we're going to finish the review by going on this walkway we've heard a lot about. We really only heard it from one person.

Walkway of legends. All in all, PFT, I would say Indianapolis Airport is a delight. Very nice. It's small. I wish that maybe it had one or two stores that were open that we could have checked out. But overall, I'd say very, very solid.

I think the flight attendant may have oversold it a little bit as calling it the number one airport in the country. Right. But so far, I mean, I'm thinking like an eight. Oh, look. I just got eyes on this walkway. Look at these lights. Well, here's the thing, PFT, now that we're actually doing this

and we're going to start giving airport reviews to people, I think we, oh, Hank doesn't want to do this anymore. Hold on, what's the matter, Hank? Chloe Breff. If you're listening to Chloe Breff, they're looking for you on Wednesday, February 27th, around 9 p.m. That's got to be a fake name.

OK, so I think when we do our next ones, we need to just have, there's got to be classes. It's like MLB and AAA and double A. This is a, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. Whoa. You see, this guy was right. Right there. That was the sound of all these lights turning on.

When you get on the walkway here. The lights follow you. The lights follow you. This is simply incredible. It's like the piano from Big. I can't believe that we didn't bring Bubba with us. Yeah, he's going to really be big time FOMO. But either way, what I was going to say at PFT

is I think that we should do, we should have a situation where we have classes. So this is a smaller airport. OK, let's get some of this footage right here. This is what we're dealing with on the walkway. This is a smaller airport. Basically like a club. And then, I feel like I'm in Miami.

And then we'll do the big airport class. Your LAX is your O'Hare's, your Dallas, Fort Worth. You hear that, folks? It's staying going on there. That's Indy. That's a wide, wonderful world of Indy. OK, so yeah, I would call this like a mid-major. Yeah, right.

So as far as the mid-major is going on. This is really good. This is like a Dayton or a Davidson, maybe either in a Southern Illinois, possibly. One of those schools. You know, they could make noise. Yeah, they absolutely could. But they're not going to probably win any tournaments.

I would even say that you could take a lady here for a night out on the town. You can. This is a datable airport. You don't need a ticket to get into the main area where you can both look at Indy cars. They had a couple of those. The M-word car?

The M-word car? No, that was past the security. No, no, there's a woman who was 90 years old said you can't go. I will have to check the tape. I believe it was within inside. I guarantee you, Hank, back me up, it was definitely inside the security. Hank doesn't know, Hank.

He absolutely knows. All sorts of perked up right now. Once I saw that woman who was barely alive. Watch out on your right. Oh, sorry. Hey, how are you? OK, she's fine. She was in a rush, so I wanted to double check to make sure

she was OK. You never know. So yeah, what would you say? What are we doing for ranking scales? So I feel like if we're going to go by class, then it has to be weighted a little bit. So the LAX's of the world, the giant ones, we'll put them on a scale of, how about we put them on a scale?

Let's make this as confusing as possible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The LAX's will be like grade scales in school. So we A through F. OK. This will be 1 through 10. Great. So I'm going to give the Indy Airport a 7.3.

OK, which translates to C. C plus, C minus. C, C plus, C. But we're saving those for the big boys. I'm going to give this scale 1 to 10, 8.8. Wow, you really were impressed. Now, tell you what, I'm going to take off one little decimal point, because I would have liked to hear more music

on the moving walkway, 8.7. So that actually, that's a round number if you aggregate. It is round number 8. I had a 7.3. You had an 8.7. There you go. We give you an 8. We actually did that on purpose, because we're really bad

at math, so we had to make sure we did that. You scored. All right, so that will be our, that concludes our first airport review, and we're now in Minneapolis. This is actually the end of the Friday show. So we will see everyone on Monday. Love you guys. That airport review was brought to you by Dollar Shave Club.

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New interview. With Kerry Frazier. Long time NHL RAF had some great stories about working in the league for how many years did you work in the NHL? Like 37 years. 37 years, Kerry Frazier. Made that up. Probably the best hair of any guest that we've had in part

by taking in recent memory. Yeah. Here he is, Kerry Frazier. Ooh. OK, we now welcome on Kerry Frazier. He is an NHL referee legend. He reft in the NHL for three decades, 12 Stanley Cup finals, four decades, 30 years.

But over the course of three decades, you're right, 12 Stanley Cup finals, over 261 playoff games. He has a book called The Final Call. So thank you for joining us. Let's start at the top. Let's start. How did you decide to become a ref? Well, I really fell out of the trees on it.

I was a good little player. I played junior A in Canada in Ontario. Wasn't drafted after my final season. The last player I played against in that season that played in the NHL was Mark Howe. I had a decision to make. Undrafted. Do I play in the American League or the minor pro leagues?

Do I take the multiple US division one athletic scholarships? That wasn't happening. And so a friend of my dad, my dad played pro hockey. He was like a goon playing in the IHL back in the day. And the former teammate of his that was coaching the Detroit Red Wings at the time said, listen, why don't you get into officiating?

He said, the game needs guys like you. You understand the game. You're a good skater. You're a tough little guy. And you got courage. So he gave me a brochure at a referee school. I went to the school. End of September in 1972, I got scouted there.

In the five days I was at it, two days later I was at the NHL training camp for officials. They signed me to a contract and gave me a whistle and a rule book and a sweater and said, go to it. That quickly, huh? Yeah, that kind of gives you an indication how sometimes the fans think we suck, right? Yeah.

So you're the natural. When you were coming up playing, how did you treat referees as a player? Great question. I was very respectful. I was usually a captain or an alternate captain on the teams I played on. And we had some really great teams, AAA All-Star teams.

We had five guys off our midget AAA team go on and play in the NHL. One guy, Wayne Merrick, won four Stanley Cups with the New York Islanders. But I was very respectful. And I understood the rules. And I understood that if you wanted to have a conversation with a referee, you had to be respectful.

So I kind of went into it with the right mentality from that side. The wrong side of the coin was that I was a fighter. I used to fight. My dad taught me how to fight in the kitchen because he was a tough guy. He was also a boxer beyond minor league professional hockey.

And so at about 13, 14 years of age, he said, you've got to defend yourself. You're a little guy. You've got to play hard. You've got to play tough. You've got to play tough. The bone's not through the skin. Don't come off the ice.

He was that guy. So he said, OK, I'm going to teach you to fight. Put your hands up. I'm a left-hander. So I went like this. Boom. Slapped me in the head and knocked me down. He knocked me down so many times I kept getting back up

until finally I could block his punches and. And that was it? My lie was your guy. So you were a fighter as a guy who's not that big. Would you get into fights with a lot bigger guys? Oh, always. Everybody was bigger. But I always wanted to beat the big guy because once you beat

their big guy and you're a little guy, you own them. Yeah. You own the whole team. That's pretty badass. So quick story. You got time? Yeah, absolutely. I got to tell you about this one.

Playing midget AAA. We're in a tournament. It's called the Silver Blade. It's the aftermath of the Silver Stick, which is a very famous tournament in Canada and Michigan. And so we're in the championship game. My dad's the coach. Coached me for three years in AAA midget.

He said, then there was this big guy, bigger than you. And he was like. That's pretty big. That's huge. That's huge, by the way, not a gift to you. No, it's me. I thought it was me. No, no, no, no.

No, definitely not. He's bigger than me, though, too. He is very much bigger than you. OK. And he was this guy was big, but he was also dirty. Is he dirty? Yeah, maybe. A little.

OK, so this guy was sticking our guys. And my dad, the coach said, boys, be disciplined. Be disciplined. Win the game, win the game. So we're up 5'1", five minutes left in the game. We got it in hand. He tapped me on the shoulder. He said, go teach that big guy a lesson.

I speedbagged this kid. I could fight scared better than they could, Matt. And I cut him over both eyes, destroyed him. How old were you? I was 15 at the time. I love it. OK. So now we get thrown out of the game, this guy and I.

So he's bleeding all over the ice. I get in the dressing room and I'm taking my gear off. The guys come in. We won the championship game. And I hear this ruckus out in the hallway. And it's my dad's voice. But it's also a woman. He slips in the door, rest of the door, locks the door.

He came over to me, put his arm around me, said, listen, Kerry, he said, I'm really proud of the way you took care of that big kid. He said, you had no problem with him. But I don't think he can take his mother. She's waiting outside for you. I got to get you out of the dressing room. Because she's waiting.

So there was a stick bag. And I'm five foot two at that time, three maybe, and 115 pounds. And he said, get in the stick bag. I got in the stick bag. He zipped it up. He threw the bag over his shoulder. And as all of my teammates were walking out

and this woman's looking at their faces, I'm in the stick bag on my dad's back. That's fantastic. That's smart. That's smart. You've gotten your ass kicked. Absolutely. No kidding.

Yeah. It's interesting. So you just told a story about winning a fight, winning a championship game as a player. Now as a ref, it seems like the best you can hope for in a perfect game is just nobody notices you, right? Like you get to the dressing room afterwards.

You might shake the other guy saying, hey, we caught a good game out there. But you don't really get the accolades that you do as a player. For you, what made it so rewarding as an official? Making a positive difference. My objective in every game, because I love the game and I love the NHL.

I love my employer. And I wanted to be the very best that I could be in every game to provide what the players deserved, what the game deserved, the game I loved, and my employers that paid me well. So I felt that in your first statement that it's often said that the best refereed game is the one where you don't notice the guy.

But there are games that you have to be noticed. You have to step up. You have to take control of the situation. And my objective in the game, aside from making a positive difference, was to feel the heartbeat. Every game has a heartbeat. And it's a different game. So as it goes up, you've got to be able to just bring it down.

You want controlled bedlam. That's the most exciting game that fans can ever watch. So I had to feel that pulse, that heartbeat. And officials now in the playoffs are often being accused, as we were back then. That'll let them play. Let the players decide the outcome. As a matter of fact, I have one right here.

Let me see. Oh, you brought the whistle. Well, put your whistle in your pocket. Yeah. Yeah. OK, that's it. So the problem with that is, once I let one go. Do you always carry a whistle around?

Yeah, it's actually a rape whistle because out on the street here, it's tough. Safety first. So personal safety. But when you let that one go on your team, now human nature dictates, man, that was a little bit over the edge. Now I got to let one go the other way.

And the other way is usually worse than the one you let go the first time. So that was actually one of my questions because we always, as fans, think that they owe us one. Does that happen as an official where you are basically, all right, I miss that one next time down. If it's a 50-50 call or whatever it may be, I'm going to make sure that it evens out here.

Well, if it's 50-50, yeah. You want to make sure that it is a legitimate foul. It's a two-minute penalty. It's not a minute and 45 seconds worth. But that's standard that we're talking about. The standard that maybe started at the game a little rigid. And then it gets relaxed. And then all of a sudden, it just goes down the toilet on you.

It's like a snowball rolling down the hill. So what I described was letting one go this way that, oh, man, I didn't want to call that. Now I let the other one go and it gets worse. And then it gets worse. It's the worst feeling that a referee can have in the pit of his stomach. Because you have, where do you pull the brakes on?

Where do you put the brakes on this thing? And someone's going to be mad when you do. Well, because they're saying you missed the last three. Well, it's going to be inconsistent, because you're looking for that perfect penalty that's not going to happen because you've already let three, four, five, six go down the way. It's brutal.

So now in today's game, it might be a puck that goes over the glass. It's an automatic penalty. And all of the refs go, whew, whew, whew, whew, we've got one. You don't want to be in that position. You said two wrongs don't make a right, all right? That was my adage, where you owe me one. I've called a stinker of a penalty on more than one occasion

where I just wished I had had it back. But I already reflexed and my arm went up and I called the penalty. 20,000 fans see it, a couple of million on TV know it, can't take it back. So the player would come and complain to me. And I would say, you know what? I think you're right.

And then the automatic reaction would be, you owe us one. My response to that is, listen, two wrongs don't make a right. Do me a favor, kill this son of a gun. Get there buying on it. And I've always noticed it seems like a big thing with referees. If you make a call, if you're not sure of it, you act like you're 100% sure of it.

So you put the arm up, right? And if you start pulling it down a little bit, like you show that little bit of weakness, then they go after you. But if you act like, hey, I got this one right, even if in the back of your head, you're like, maybe not. Well, that's called selling the call. And you know, when I first started in the 70s, actually,

the glass was low. So I'd be in like a Philadelphia spectrum or something like that. And you might react too quick and the arm starts to go up. And what I would do is I'd reach for the glass. So it looks like you're hopping so the puck can go by? Yeah, or it would be hair messed up. And I'd go and I'd smooth it out.

Yeah, there you go. That's when you weren't wearing a helmet, right? Throughout most of my career, they made me in the last collective bargaining agreement I was part of. They forced, because there were only two of us that didn't wear a helmet. Yeah.

So did you ever get hit real hard with a puck in the face? You know, what's interesting is, and I had to wear the helmet and a visor in the Olympics in Nagano, international rules. We had to wear a helmet and visor. But without a helmet on, I was cut three times in the face over 26 years in the NHL by deflected pucks. Two off a goalie stick, shot, precise point, boom, deflected,

got me in the face. But when I put a helmet on, the very first game in the NHL, I was forced to wear a helmet. I got hit and had five times with sticks in the corner. Because you were just not, you were like, I got a helmet on, I'm fine? Well, not even so much that. It was the lack of respect that players had.

Because when you, Craig McTavish, last guy not wear a helmet in the NHL, we had the conversation. And with Wayne Gretzky, who wore that little jaffa. And both of those guys said, Wayne wore light protection because it created more awareness, he felt. Interesting. I felt the same way. I had like radar.

I could, a puck could be coming at my head. I'd just do a little slip, go by. It was a radar that you developed. Kind of like the blind guy that gets that analogy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm always curious about this with referees. Your relationship with certain players and how that affects how you call a game.

So I'm sure through your many, many years in the NHL, you become friends with guys. You talk to guys before the game. You're a little more chummy. How does that, we're all humans. So how does that impact how you call a game? And is it true that maybe someone who you're friendlier with will get the benefit of the doubt?

I think that is part of human nature as well, but I will tell you that my objective was to develop professional relationships with all the players so that I could get them to play on my terms without having to be a jackass, without having to raise my arm and call the penalties. I wanted the puck to be moving. There were personalities that just didn't mesh

and there were a couple, Theo Flurry being one. Theo, I wanted to get to that. We can just hop right to that. No, I could tell you about Knuckles and Island. Chris Knuckles and Island, he was a ranger for a bit, but he was a Montreal Canadian. 300 penalty minutes every year and he'd get his 20 goals, but Knuckles was like a tough guy.

And I caught him, I actually entrapped him in a game in the Boston Garden one time. Rick Middleton, Nifty Middleton, great player, skilled, and he's on the opposite wing with Knuckles and I thought, man, that's a bad matchup. So as they were going to the net, they collided, they fell down and the puck started to move out into the neutral zone.

It's going the other way, one referee on the ice. So I looked across the ice and my eyes met Knuckles and I could tell he was pissed off. No question, he's going to do something stupid, guaranteed. So I did a head fake. I turned like I was following the play up the other way and all of a sudden I snapped my head back just as he butt ended Middleton

and knocked his front teeth out. Up goes the arm, 10 minute match, penalty back then. Right, yeah, that's fascinating though because that's you knowing the players. Exactly, so I did my homework, I know what he's going to do. So now we have to go to emergency hearing just before the playoffs in New York. Serge Savard is the general manager,

hockey hall of fame guy of the Montreal Canadiens. I walk in the NHL boardroom and here's Knuckles sitting at the end of the table. He wants to kill me. It felt like ice in there. Serge, the gentleman shakes hands, Kerry, how you doing, blah, blah, blah. Brian O'Neill was the vice president in charge of discipline.

He came in and read my report and he said to Chris, Chris, do you have anything to say for yourself? Now, Knuckles is a Boston kid, right? He said, yeah, Mr. O'Neill, I got something to say for myself. He said, referee Fraser here. He calls more penalties on me than any other ref in the league.

He's always picking on me, always watching me and just to prove my point, if he hadn't been watching what he should have been watching which was the play go up the other way, he wouldn't have seen me butt in Middleton in the mouth. Serge spit coffee on the table. Chris, don't get it. So he said, Chris did mean not mean to say that, Mr. O'Neill.

To admit to the grind. Yo, I need to get caught, sir. While Brian O'Neill said, Chris, there isn't a referee worth a pound of salt in this league if he didn't watch you every second you're on the ice, would you like to see a replay? And they both declined. He got eight games back then.

That was huge. Yeah, huge. Yeah, that's fantastic. When it comes to instant replay, how much does that, like the advent of it and having all these different camera angles on the ice affected the job of an HL official? What a fantastic question.

Thank you. I had that too, but it is my first. Well, yeah, you get your first out of the jar. I gotta tell you, I think it's the biggest problem that has created the inconsistency that we're seeing. I wanted to see everything on the ice as a one ref game. I wanted to be in position to see it. First of all, you have to move your feet.

And I learned that watching Wayne Gretzky in 1980 where he had such vision of the ice. He knew not just where the puck was now or where players were, he knew where there were gonna be three, four, five chess moves down the board. And I analyzed that and came up with a system that worked and was adopted for USA and Canadian hockey minor referees. Because if you're not in position, I'm a little guy.

I'm not gonna see over you. I'm not gonna see around you. I've gotta be ahead of the game. I gotta think the game. And so with that sort of difficulty now, that they've infused this video replay that is such a safety net for guys, they rely on it too much.

It's not, even they don't, a goal goes in the net and they're standing so deep in the corner, they don't even signal it. They might not even see it. You gotta see everything and use the replay to verify that the official is right now. So you think it's gone that way? So the question I was gonna ask is a little different

actually was, is it undermining officials? Cause I always wondered if you are on the ice and you know that they can go to replay and make you look like a fool, it's gonna suck. But you're saying it's actually the opposite where guys are saying, look, replay will figure it out. If I screw this up, we'll figure it out with replay. So I don't have to pay attention the same way.

Well, you know, even if it's subliminally, they know that they've got the backup there. And the replay is done in a room in Toronto, you know, miles, thousands of miles away. Which is actually better than all the other sports. Probably, in some ways. But you don't have to, the ref himself doesn't have to just, you know, after skating up and down the ice,

all game have to then go sit and watch a replay for 20 seconds and try to figure it out. Well, the problem is that they should have former referees sitting in that room to make the decision. We had two really big time mess ups this year in the Stanley Cup playoffs. The sharks in the nights. Golden nights, I mean, boo, bang.

That was a guess, big guess for sure. Now the hand pass that Jumbo Joe batted and Carlson put in the net in overtime to beat St. Louis in that game. All eyes should typically, at least one set of eyes, but usually most eyes would be on the puck in that situation when it's that close to the net. They missed it, things do happen, they missed it,

but there's a reason why they missed it. And I broke that down for a major network in the US because of their body position. They were standing, they weren't reading the play, they weren't moving to where they needed to go. But I said, if you want to fix that, and it's a referees call, replay could not overturn that because it's a,

in the rule book, it's a referees call, hand pass, must be made by one of the four officials on the ice. I said, let's utilize the fifth member of the crew, which is a backup referee that's assigned to every playoff game. He's a referee. He's sitting in the referee's locker room with his gear on except his skates,

watching the monitor on TV. Let's utilize him and say, okay, guys, I got the headset on, buzz him down. What did you see there? We need help, obviously. I got a hand pass. My call, fifth, the third referee on the crew that was assigned to that game as the backup,

he's gonna make that call. I like that idea. Interesting. Is there one call in particular over your career that you look back on, you're like, that was my best call? Oh no, I just, the worst, the one that, the one that's the worst is the one that you remember. I mean, you're expected to make really good calls, make the right call, but the ones that haunt you

are the ones that you missed, that you want back. I wish you had back. Yeah, so let's go down that road a little bit. Would it be, is it the Gretzky one? Is that what we're gonna go with? Oh absolutely, 93, missed call. Western Conference final, overtime, Wayne Gretzky, off the face off, high sticks, Doug Gilmore.

What's interesting about that situation is that none of the three of us had a bead on it, saw it. I went to Doug Gilmore and I said, killer, what happened? And he said, well, Wayne took a shot and his follow through hit me in the chin, cut me. I said, well, if that's the case, it's not a penalty. That's the only caveat, I guess you'd say,

that wouldn't be penalized. It's a follow through on a shot, normal follow through. So he didn't even know, but something just didn't smell right. And the way Wayne usually was there appealing in, you know, his case, he just was off to the side, kind of hanging over, like slinking away. Kind of knowing he did something else.

So that's when I called a team meeting and said, you know, with the two lines, when I said, guys help me out, I didn't see it. Ron Huck Finn at the blue line. What a name. Huck, oh, Huck had the balls of an elephant, I got it. Of course he did, his name's Ron Huck Finn. We got knuckles, we got nicknames.

I was loving all these nicknames. What was your nickname? Fraser Sucks. All right, so Ron Huck Finn, he tells you? He came to me, he said, Kerry, I couldn't help you out, man. He said, I was looking through their backs, which would be logical. And then Kevin Collins, beaver.

We won't go there. So he said, I don't know, he was bent over, you know, he just dropped the pocket. He said, I'm not sure. And as soon as you hear, I'm not sure, there's no way that you're gonna guess, because that's what happened with the Vegas night, Golden Knights.

There was a guest made by somebody in that crew. So when you huddle up, I always just assumed the rest were like, we're fucked. Like you just sit there, you're like, did anyone see it? Nope, okay, we're fucked. Let's pretend we're talking for another 30 seconds to make it seem official. Well, you know, am I far off?

You're pretty dang on. But there's, when the new buildings came out with the big screens, sneak a peek, we'd have a guy position himself and he'd be looking. Yeah, so we have a, he's still working as a French guy, Linesman, and when he first came in the league, he was a little awkward with things. And there was a question as to whether the goal went in.

He said, oh, it definitely was a goal. I got that. He said, well, how do you know? He said, because the whole section down there, they were all cheering and they jump and raise their hand and clap, there must be a goal. No, so then we started, you know, putting a guy to maybe have a peek.

That's funny. Take a look upstairs. That's great, that's great. So we talked about swallowing the whistle. Yeah. You said that it doesn't really happen like fans think it does, but you have to admit, like in the playoffs, there seems to be less penalties.

And then in overtime in the playoffs, you guys won't call anything. Is that, are you specifically saying that to the rest of your crew before the overtime starts? Hey, it has to be a very egregious thing for us to make a call that could just decide the game. I think historically and traditionally, there was that in the back of your mind,

let the players decide the outcome of the game. Right. And that was coming from broadcasters and coaches. And so that pressure that was exerted on the referee, you know, one refereed game was huge, but you didn't want to compromise your integrity and the rules. And so if it was a scoring opportunity,

definitely you're going to raise your arm. But there were so much other stuff that went on that was allowed. I had a game in the game three of the 1989 Stanley Cup Final Montreal Canadians at home at the forum against the Calgary Flames. My boss, John McCauley, who tragically died right after that 89 cup, his boy, Wes,

is the referee in the NHL now, probably one of the two top refs in the league. Great kid. But John said to me, listen, you got to bring this series back. He said, the first two games were ragged as hell out there. And he said, you got to lay the hammer down and grab them, bring them back for me. I said, okay.

So that was my private instruction from the boss. It wasn't let him go. It's get a hold of the series. We got a long way to go yet. So I laid the hammer down and called penalties in the first period. I had second period, a number of penalties. Third period, I called a lot of coincidental minors

because we got to tie a game here. So now I'm managing the game. So it's, you know, where I had the opportunity not to call one, I'd call one on each side, let them know I'm still here, be smart. Now we go into overtime and they just played. It was phenomenal. One overtime period, no penalties, great play.

Second overtime period, no penalties with the exception of the last two minutes and three seconds remaining. And Mark Hunter, one of the Hunter brothers is tracking Shane Corson. Corson's inside the blue line of the Montreal zone. He is facing the boards. He shoots the puck, advances it into the neutral zone

and Hunter's tracking him and tracking him and tracking him and I'm saying to myself, hunts, don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him. Boom, hit some right in the back of the numbers, knocks his head into the boards at the bench. I gotta call it, up goes my arm. And just as Mark Hunter got out of the penalty box on the kill, Stefan Richie scores the winning goal

with three seconds left in the period. Now, who's the goat, me, right? Everybody's mad at me. Don Cherry, in the next game, I just about had a fight with him in the men's room. I expect that happens a lot. Yeah, well, you know, and we got nose to nose and he said, you gotta let the players decide

the outcome of the game. And I said, hey, listen, if I didn't call that obvious penalty, I might as well sit beside your fat ass in the studio and watch the game on TV. Oh, that didn't go too well. Yeah, because it goes the other way. If you don't call it, the fans, the other teams. Where do you go from there?

The guy's head, and the same thing in 93 with the Gretzky situation. I had put an Atronom Maple Leaf in the penalty box for trying to run defenseman's head through the boards. He got a boarding penalty. So, Leafs are a man short, which even compounded the situation. Right.

Yeah, when's player safety? That seems to be cut and dry, especially a boarding penalty from behind. It's like, you have to call it. Well, player safety. You can be mad about having a guy in the box in the third overtime of a playoff game, but if somebody's getting their face put into a board,

it's like an open and shut case. Now, there's some other stuff that takes place in the playoffs. The teams get chippy right, usually from the start of the series. They like to set a tone. Every time there's a whistle, they get in each other's faces. They commit what I assume would be penalties

in the run of play, but since it's after the whistle and everybody's doing it, you can't call everybody for a penalty. So, in a situation like that, where do you draw the line between, okay, let's do just face washing opponent. That's okay. And that was too aggressive.

That was a punch. You're going to take a seat for a while. Well, here's what I did in the playoffs. I would get, and again, it's about feeling that temperature. Let's say we're having scrums after a stoppage. You don't want that to continue because it gets ragged. I want the puck to keep moving.

I don't want players to be gathering and face washing or punching or, you know, the old scrum situation. So, when I felt like I had enough, I would go to both coaches and I'd say, you know what, I'm getting embarrassed now. Either you control your guys or I'm going to. Oh, I like that.

And it might be your team that gets the one penalty. I'm not calling doubles here. It's going to be maybe your team or it'll be his team. You take control of it or I will from here on. I love that. And I've heard coaches say, guys, you heard it, Doom, we're done. Yeah, Sean Avery.

Yeah, I mean, he had to be a referee nightmare. I got along really well with Sean. Really? Yes, because he knew where I stood and he knew how far he could go. So, after the dance in front of Marty Broderick, okay? The Sean Avery rule. I've got the next, they didn't need a Sean Avery rule.

There was a rule there. You could have given him a misconduct. You could have given him two front sportsmen like a 10-minute misconduct for trying to incite the other guy. I mean, you don't have to. The rule book is already like the phone book. So, next game, and Sean Avery had been read the riot act because he'd done a couple of stupid things previous to that.

He shot his mouth off and he was suspended for. And he came to me and he's all nervous. He said, listen, Kerry, he said, I'm going to be really good tonight. I'm not, like, I'm going to be fine. I won't be a problem for you. I said, Sean, I said, listen, you can be a very effective player.

You know how to play and you know what I expect. If you cross my line, you know where you're going to end up. This is a playoff, man. Just go do your thing and know where I draw the line. Right. He went, it was like a weight had been lifted off his back. He just, he had a target on his back after that because that, I remember that game

and everybody was like, what is this? This is not hockey. And it was like the larger hockey community almost. They got offended collectively. I've been like, just you're ruining the game. You know, we talked about creating positive productive relationships. There's a guy that you could have just said,

you know what, get away from me. You disgust me. He's entitled to play the game just like every other player in the league. He's entitled to the same protection of the rules like every other player. But if you can develop that relationship where in that conversation,

Sean's temperature was brought down. He played that game and he played effectively. He did what he had to do. He played hard. He wasn't backing off. And nobody should ever be told that they can't play a certain way. Right.

They know what the rules are for. And, you know, back when we had one referee there was a personality involved and every referee seemed to have a little bit of a different flair, a different personality or was more focused on calling certain things. And the Philadelphia Flyers were the very first organization and Mr. Ed Snyder, God rest his soul,

wonderful, wonderful passionate owner of the Philadelphia Flyers. They were the first team under Freddie Shiro that started to record which penalties referees called. And they came up with, okay, boys, tonight it's Wally Harris. He calls this or it's Van Hellman. He calls that.

They knew what the flavor. What were you? You don't know? With me? What would you lean towards? I would say that in anything flagrant aggressive, like I didn't like the stick work. Obviously trips are obvious.

I mean, slashes, but anything up around the head, that always bothered me. I felt my number one job was protection of the players. Enforcing the rules which are designed to protect the players and allow it to be fair. That's interesting, though, that they started to scout refs. I'm sure that most teams do that now

with advanced analytics and everything. So you were talking about player relationships. Sean Avery's one of them. We alluded to it earlier. Theo Flurry, he tried to fight you in the United Center parking lot. So can you tell that story? Because that's a fantastic story of what you treated the game

and how you were able to evolve with players in your relationship. Well, in 1996, Stanley Cup playoffs, Calgary Flames, Theo Flurry, great little player, gutsy, but obviously had issues that we now know about, molested by a famous hockey coach in Canada that went to prison and deserves never to get out as far as I'm concerned.

But Theo and I were like oil and water. He had disrespect and I think our size and our stature. Two short guys going at it. Two little chip on the shoulder, jump yard dog kind of. Yeah, two Chihuahuas like share the fence in the back yard. Yeah, I've been there. So this particular game, he'd had enough of me.

I called three penalties against the Flames right off the bat and he got the last one. He blew up, he cursed and swore at me, challenged me in the most profane language. Called you a shitbag. Effing shitbag asshole. Really, if you want to be technically correct. Shitbag doesn't, we're just good enough.

No, it's effort. And so he wanted me to come out into the parking lot after the game, he took his helmet off and threw it at me, it hit my skate. Now human nature takes over, okay? I learned with a big argument with Wayne Gretzky in my very first season in 1980 that I needed to control my emotions,

that I could flare up, it could be instinctive, it just comes out. And it was always aggressive. So I had this process where I could relax my shoulders, take a big breath. This buck had to sit in at my foot and my legs started quivering. The muscles are twitching, the adrenaline's flowing,

I wanted to kick it back in his face. Yogi, I went through him out of the game. Four years later, fast track, he signs a one year deal with the New York Rangers free agent, eight million bucks, but he was put in the league imposed substance abuse program right off the bat. So he missed the first part of the season, it's December 19th of 2004 years after he challenged me

in the parking lot at the United Center. He came to me at the end of the first period, St. Louis Blues are playing Tyson Nash, second year pro, you know, a trash talking, head flipping, hair kind of like we see down the way here. And so Theo came to me with tears in his eyes. He said, listen, I'm trying to clean my life up, honest, I haven't done Coke in this in length of time,

I haven't had a drink, blah, blah, blah. He said, don't let him talk to me like that. So I asked what, who, he told me. Now human nature might dictate, you say, you know what, looks good on you. Remember four years ago, the parking lot, the this and that. Yeah, yeah, effing shitbag asshole, that sort of stuff.

I saw a wounded human being in front of me. I wanted to take a bad situation to make it right. So I said, if I can get Tyson Nash here at the start of the next period, right between the two benches at Madison Square Garden on the red line, and I get a sincere apology for you, will you accept it like a man?

He said, yeah. I said, now if I get him here, I promise you won't break a stick over his head. And he said, I promise. So I go right into the visiting coach's room, Joel Quinville is the coach, class guy. I said, Joel, this is what Tyson Nash said to Theo. Joel rolled his eyes.

He said, do you want me to tell him to take his stuff off? He thought I was gonna throw him out of the game. I said, no, how about an apology? I said, sure, it'd be good for Theo and it might not even hurt your guy. Great idea. And he ran into the players locker room. Now I'm standing with Theo at the start of the next period

at the red line. Out came the St. Louis Blues. And Tyson looks like he wants to do a skate by. He's kinda, you know, he doesn't wanna be here. I flag him over. I said, have you got something to say to this man? His lip was quivering. He was affected.

He said, Theo, I'm really sorry, man. He said, I went way below the line and I wanna sincerely apologize. And I wish you all the best in what you've got ahead of you. And he tapped him on the shin with a stick. I said, Theo, are you good with that? He said, yeah, I'm good with that. I said, boy, shake hands, let's play.

And they did. I thought that was it. It was nothing more than an apology. We can make a difference in this world. And oftentimes we don't know that we did. This showed up 10 years later. 10 years later, 2010, I finished my final game. I'm sitting down to write the book.

Theo released his playing with fire book, which is terrific. Very dark, but terrific. And in that, he wrote exactly what I put and quoted in my book. And I tried to make the situation better. So I called Tyson Nash and I said, listen, Tyson, Carrie here, I'm writing a book. I need your permission to share a story

with you and Theo and I. Do you recall Madison Square Garden December 19th of 2000? The phone went dead quiet, guys. It was like, he said, Carrie, that was life altering. That was career changing. I said, tell me about it. And I put his own words, what that situation meant to him. And what's interesting is I go around

and I do a couple of NHL team alumni fantasy camps. And there's some regular guys that go to all, they go to Marios, they go to Gretzes, they go, you know. And this one gentleman from Vancouver had been to a number of them and he happened to see within three weeks, he saw me, Theo, and Tyson Nash. And each one of us told that story from their perspective. That's fantastic.

Hank has been actually ducking in apology that he owes me for like a year and a half. Sorry, I could change the world. Do you want to encourage Hank to apologize to us? Hank, what'd you do, man? He had. I didn't do anything. I correctly predicted Patriot 20 Super Bowl and TFT

and as he had to apologize to me. No, you got. Ah, we have a dispute here. No, no, Hank, I break it up, boys. Yeah, very contentious. Ah, we have a dispute. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry that you misunderstand.

All right, thank you. The situation. Thank you. Go to the box. He just apologized, I like that. When you were, when you had to break up a fight, was there a specific thing you would look for to like, all right, here's when I can break it up?

Or did you get in maybe a few times too early and catch one? Number one, I look for the littlest guy. Okay. Yeah. Smart, right? Oh yeah. And I would see whether he hits left or right. And I'd come in on the weak side.

Okay. But there was a, remember the Don Kuharski doughnut situation with Jimmy Schaunfeld in the playoffs. It was Eastern Conference final, Boston Bruins, Terri O'Reilly coaching the Bruins. And Jim Schaunfeld was coaching the Jersey Devils. And I had game two in Boston. And Boston won the first game.

Schaunfeld had the Devils coming out and they were ripping right off the bat. They were going to, you know, dominate physically. And Mola May ran into Sean Burke, the goalie. It was Sean's rookie year. He was terrific. And now we've got one fight start. Willie Platt is fighting with a devil over in the one corner.

And John McLean engages Mola May out at the blue line. And Ron Huck Finn is the linesman that is trying to keep La May and McLean apart. So I think I'm going to go in and help them out because they're not fighting yet. And just as I go in there, and it's on YouTube, you can watch it, McLean comes over the top with a punch gets me right between the eyes.

Boom. But not down goes Fraser. Yeah, there we go. Fraser stayed on his feet, on his skates. And I just got really mad. And I started yanking and pulling and aggressive. And I yanked La May out of there and put them in the box. I gave McLean, he got, let's see,

14 minutes in penalties and La May got a couple more. You must have the most hilarious rolodex, mental rolodex of names. Like every single story just has a billion names and how the hell do you remember them all? I've got a memory like a steel trap and I can remember plays. And one of the funniest things that ever happened,

I had two guys thank me for giving them penalties. And really, and one was Gretz and that was in 1980 and he was being sarcastic. He was pissed off and he deserved to be because I wasn't very good that night. But the other guy was a big Jim McKenzie, tough guy, six foot four, 235 pounds, a gentleman though, just a true gentleman.

And in his second year of pro in the NHL for the Hartford Whalers, I had the last game of the regular season. It was Hartford playing in Washington and afternoon game. Game's over, nobody's mad. And all the visiting team, the Whalers, went off at the Zamboni entrance and then they walked by the referee's room.

Stick boys, trainers, coaches, everybody off the ice except six foot four, Jim McKenzie and little me. Get off the ice on the rubber mat, McKenzie looks down at me said, Kerry, if I told you to f off, would you give me a misconduct? I said, just like that, same reaction.

What are you talking about, Jim? I said, the regular season's over, game's over, nobody's mad. He said, I got a bonus in my contract for penalty minutes. I'm four pims short and coach Ricky Lee never played me one game or one shift. I said, what'd you say? Very, very quiet, polite, he said, f off.

I yelled at him, say it like you mean it. He said, f off, I said you got 10. He said, thank you. And he walked me to the restroom. That's fantastic, that was awesome. Where's that line though? Because I assume that during the course of the game you hear all sorts of stuff, all sorts of trash talk.

So you can't penalize everybody. Let's just talk in a little bit of shit back and forth. Where do you draw the line and say, okay, this is too much, you're going to the bend? Well, you know what, it's personal. When it becomes personal, I could have an FU contest with either of you guys. And as long as we're not waving arms

and you're embarrassing me in that regard, if it's just between us, I can take that. I'm not quick triggered. If you call me coward, gutless, Homer, you bought the farm, you bought the farm. Because I'm none of that, I'm none of that. I've given players, and one coach, the career ban. Ooh, what is that?

Don't ever talk to me again. If you ever talk to me again, I'm going to run you. Wow, and they didn't? They never talked to you again? Well, I reinstated Alexander McGillney. You have a personal career ban. You had a hearing for him? You just like, oh, I just reinstated him.

I said, okay, you're off the lifetime ban. The coach was Mark Crawford. And did he ever get off or no? Oh no, I got him the next year. He actually, the game was a 95. It was a shortened season when we had the player strike. So we're just to come back and we're getting ready for playoffs and Quebec Nordiques, Mark Crawford,

rookie coach, Quebec Nordiques. They moved the next season to Denver and they won the cup. So in this year, 95, I had them the night before they lost one nothing in Tampa. Tampa had a good team. Now they go down and they're getting beat by Florida Panthers. That was like 20 points behind. They were out of it.

And Peter Forsberg was a rookie for Colorado at the time, or Quebec Nordiques, yeah. He gets a penalty with three and change left thereabouts in the game. It seals the deal for Florida. Crow wouldn't put his guys in the ice. He wanted me to skate over and have a word with them. Now, once you put as a ref,

you put yourself in that position. You got to eat crow, pun intended. And I go over there and he ripped me most profane, foul, vile, awful. I've never heard from a coach. And the veins are bulging. The adrenaline's flicking. And I said, are you done?

He said, yeah, I'm done. I said, that's the most disgusting dialogue I've ever heard from a coach. And I said, there's not one guy on this bench, your players, that believe what you just said. You could have got more penalties, but you and I are gonna save that for another day. Oh, the old warning.

Yeah, yeah. I said, but for now, I need four players on the ice and I need them now, please. Game ends. I am still like cooking in the dressing room. I'm with Ray Scappanello, the little linesman, Hall of Fame guy and Greg Dvorsky. I'm sitting by the door,

and because I always sat by the door, I want to be the first line of defense. Knock on the door, I get up. Here's Crow, he's got his head down. He said, Carrie, can I have a word with you? I said, yeah, quit, come on in. I said, have a beer, you want a beer? Grab a beer.

He said, what's up? He said, listen, I apologize, you're right. He said, that was terrible. You didn't deserve it. But he said, my team's been picked to win the cup and we're going like this at a bad time of year. And he said, I don't know what to do. I gave him some advice.

I said, Al Arbor, best team I ever saw was the four, it was a dynasty. The Islanders. The Islanders four cups. And the discipline came from behind the bench. If Al Arbor yelled at me, I knew I must have screwed up because he never yelled. Only when there was something worth yelling about.

I said, you on the other hand, you never shut up. I said, you got your players all upset. So he said, like, am I the worst? I said, tell you what, ask the two linesmen. They said, oh yeah, you're the worst for sure. So that verified that. I said, you know what? I accept your apology though.

I don't hold a grudge, but I will tell you right here in front of these two fine linesmen to be my judge and witness, I said, if you ever open your mouth again and swear at me, this is going to be your one time warning throughout the rest of our career together. It's a career warning. Would you accept it?

He said, yeah, I accept it. We shook hands on it. We had another beer over it. And next year, now they're in the same time of year, just before the playoffs, and they're in Anaheim. Claude Lemieux is now playing for Colorado. And one of the defensemen, I think it was Adam Foote, breaks a stick on a guy, late in the game, one goal game.

Boom, up goes the arm, obvious. And I am 85 feet away and I hear Crow's squeaky little voice. Carrie, what the ffff? That's all he got out. Boom, I T-boned him. Now he's got a bench penalty. He just dropped his head because he knew, right? Career warning, I told him.

So Claude Lemieux came to me, he says, Carrie, look at the score and at the time, just give us one penalty, don't give us two penalties. I said, Pepe, you go tell Crow, Florida. He says, Florida, what the ffff you talk about? We're in Anaheim. I said, you tell him Florida, he knows. And he never opened his mouth again.

Oh, that's so good. I like a lifetime ban on people. That's so good. Well, this has been awesome. Thank you so much. Hey, my pleasure. We appreciate it. You guys are great.

Carrie Frazier, the final call, he's gonna book out all these stories. You know what's interesting? You're the most, I think you're the most famous person named Carrie, according to the internet. So Carrie, what? No, when you type in Carrie, Carrie Underwood? No, that's different.

Carrie Underwood. Carrie Frazier is the first one that pops up. Interesting, interesting. Well, I mean, listen, I would've loved for you to ref anything I do, because I feel like you got the great temperament for it. Well, I have one question for you two guys. What is it like, truly?

And I mean this seriously, to be the number one, number one in your genre? Well, you always have Paul Bisson at calling you up and asking you for tips and advice. So, not that, I love him. I love him. Yeah, no, it's good. It's fun.

It's fun. Well, well deserved, guys. Yeah, thank you. Very good time doing our job. Yeah, thank you so much, Carrie, appreciate it. My pleasure. Okay, we're wrapping up the best of. If you're still with us, thank you.

It means you probably have to work and we feel bad for you. Again, one last reminder, we'll be back on Sunday night to recap college football playoffs and week 17, but let's finish up our best of with our best of us. So we have some best of Monday readings. We have some best of Boomers and we have some best of Fantasy Fuckboys.

So enjoy our narcissism. Yeah, right, here it is. So we're gonna wrap up the best of, the best of and we will see everyone on Monday for a brand new part of my take. The last one of 2019. Last one of the decade. Last one of the decade.

Damn, love you guys. It's good to be back, teach. Behind the paywall boom, just like we always hope. We start in Diarrhea, Chilly town where the 49ers faced off against the NFL league leader in passing Andy Dalton. Joe mixing the water looks hungover Sunday,

averaging 1.5 yards a rush. Was it Friday? Because D-Mos Samuel showed up and stole the show. Jimmy Garoppolo feasted all over Cincinnati like it was a San Gennaro. Hey, boom, who put all this spaghetti in my cinnamon, in my chili? I think I got to the Diarrhea.

When the moon hit your ride like a big spiral pie that's a mulberry. George Skittle tasted the rainbow and the 49ers looked like I did back in the 80s when a young schlomb was at Candlestick Park watching the catch. Oh, how time passes by. Niners 41, Bengals 17, whoo, whoo!

Dick, Dick, Dick? Oh, spread. In Mile High, where Michael Vick Fangio turned the dog's loose on Mr. Biskie all afternoon long, as Drake famously said, is flacko elite. I said only partly. I only love the height and the spirals. I'm sorry.

And the Bears are left wondering, imagine if I never mixed the Biskies. To quote the famous Eddie Paniero, his game winning kick was God's plan. God's plan. Bears 16, Broncos 14. Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. In H-Town, where it was Gardner,

it's reigning men's shoe, hallelujah. As the Jaguars had a ferocious fourth quarter comeback, and Doug Morone said, Utah, give me two, but couldn't get a point break. Jalen Mason Ramsey told Doug Morone, if you ain't got no giddy up, then giddy out my way as the two exchange words on the sideline.

What's that, Lil Nas X, giddy? All the kids are string boom. Houston's got all the horses in the back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. Texas 13, Jaguars 12. We start in Indianapolis, where Zach Pascal Siakam is a rising star in the Colts offense,

and Jim Ursay is drunkenly asking his fans, why not Jacobi Bresset for the future of the franchise? Don't pull the plug on the Colts kicker yet, as Adam Vinay Terri, Shiavo, came back from the dead on Sunday. The Falcons fall to one and two, as Matt Ryan Dunn was unable to complete his final drive. Too soon, boom.

Colts 27, Falcon 24. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. They're outlining a new report. They say outlines the treatment of dolphins at the 3C world locations. They claim these dolphins are suffering under inhumane conditions and are forced to perform tricks that cause them injuries,

and also that their living conditions are unacceptable. We go to Foxboro where the Jets saw the Patriots and said, let's give them something to talk about. Talking about love, love, love. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. Hey, hey, who let Trey Wingo in here? The weekend started with turmoil for the Patriots as Tom Brady kicked on Antonio Brown

out of his martial new house, fastened a Bridget Moynihan after announcing she was pregnant. I stood him high, I stood him high, I stood him high, and you stood him low, I stood him low, I stood him low. And as for Patriots, minus 21 gamblers, they got stood them in the balls after Jared stood them through a late pick six. The Patriots kept the Trey's role

as the lost drilling gentleman to a rib injury, which will now allow him to suck his own dick even more on his Instagram first draft. Patriot 30, judge 14. Woof, woof. Staying on the quarter, James Winston Tampa, Florida, such a fine sight to see.

He's driving that train, high on cocaine. Daniel Jones, you better watch your speed. Come on, mad gay, don't kick it that way. The Giants stole a game like they were crab legs. Giants 32, bucks 31, the G-man. The New York football Giants, the G-G-G-G-man. To the nation's capital, where Tom Terrific came to smoking Jay Gruden's house

for an easy W, Julian Adelman was rolling in the deep second area as Josh Gordon Lightfoot made a wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald of the Redskins secondary. Tom Brady seamlessly ordered a touchdown as Ryan Lizzo made the Redskins defense 100% his bitch. Pat Patriots 33, Redskins seven. Woof, woof.

I don't know if that's how Ryan Lizzo does it. I think it is. 100% his bitch. In Cincinnati, where DD Kanye Westbrook put on a Sunday service, even though Andy Dalton stuck around for graduation at TCU, it was the college dropout, Leonard Burnett,

who had a great game. Josh Lambeau, Keeney Mercy went four for four with his kicks. And you know what the Midwest is, Dalton's reckless. The Bengals rock the dungeon. That's a heavy necklace. And it's 808 in heartbreak in Cincinnati yet again. Jaguar's 27, the Bengals 17. Some spread.

We start in Kansas City, where the battle of the 2017 first rounders set the stage for a thrilling game. It was a supporting cast that took center stage when Carlos Hyder, kids hide your wife, rumble then bumble then woof. His way to 116 yards in a score and Tyrico Bosco Hill scored twice

as much as Toledo did on Saturday. The Shanti Watson was always on time with his receivers as the Clemson quarterback jaw ruled this matchup and the Texans are on fire fast. Well, the Chiefs are left willing to suck a dick for a healthy offensive lineman. Texans 31, Chiefs 24. Woof, woof, woof.

And the Big Easy, where Breeze are dying at an alarming rate as they're missing Teddy Bridgewater with claims that Drew is too waspy even though he'll get a yellow jacket one day. Alvin Camaradona in the Saints offense was plugged up worse than I know is after a night at an Argentinian nightclub. Dan Quinn Snyder has his defense jazzed up

and ready to go with this big match. And his job is safe as there won't be a quick room head coach this week. Falcon 26, the Sites, none. Woof, woof, woof. Out in Western New York, the Kiko Alonzo blowjob bull as the Eagles and Bills square up. Carson Wednesday got over the hump

as Drake and Josh Allen said, hug me brother, after a tough loss to the Bills. Miles Sanders, I have a feeling Teej and I screwed that up because I never watched the show. And all the young guys in the studio are laughing at this old boom, your swam. Miles Sanders was running faster than Sonic, chasing rings while the Buffalo Secondary

tailed them into the end zone. Debbie Does, Dallas Goddard took on six football players at once to score. And Al Sean Jeffery Epstein isn't going to leave you hanging Eagles fans as Philadelphia's season was saved in Buffalo. Eagles 31, Bills 13. In Indianapolis where Eric and Braun James

not trying to get into a sentence battle treated a Houston secondary like a bunch of taro morris. Frank, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my rike, has a wheels and motion for an AMC shot foul after a big day for Miss Colts. The Texans had no answer for Indies rushing games as Bill O'Brien said, I like big butchers, but I cannot lie, baby got Marlon Mack,

Indie 30, Houston 23. Down on the bayou where Drew Scarface Breeze asked the Niners, who's the bad guy? Only to have San Francisco answer with, say hello to my Kitto brand, as the Pro Bowl tight end sealed the victory running like a cockroach, refusing to die. Sean Payton spent all week preparing for Jimmy

Earl Garoppolo by telling his quarterback, Drew Breeze, it's just a some time, everything, everything will be just fine, but everything might not be so fine. Now that the Saints don't get the playoffs at Dome Sweet Dome, 49ers 48, Saints 46. What, what, some score. In Dallas where stocks are up for Aaron Dow Jones,

Amariah Alexandra Cooper told the Packers defense, oh me daddy, as he gobbled up yards like a voodoo clam and suck and fucked his way to 226 yards. Aaron Rogers said to Danica Daxford, we may like each other, but don't think you're getting a ring on my watch. Up in the box, Jerry Jones invited George Bush, but the Packers had pushed down that W

and pulled this L to generous. Packers 34, Cowboys 24. To the Meowdowlands for the Cat Bowl at Pet Life Stadium, this is a p-line town. No room for Saquon Bark Bark Barkley. Sam Darnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be back, back, back, back, back, back, back, as he looked at the New York receiving core

and said, our money isn't walking through that door, it's not at home. The Jets, the Giants had cooked that shermanator since that serious heat on his seat there. We're not talking about it, my friends. I got caught in between a boomer and a Schwarzenegger. We're not talking about it, my friends. That's an office child font, folks.

Speak, speak, I got hot seats. The Jets coach, Adam Gasolina, temporary put out to my head, Jets 34, 27. Nailed it, boom. What's up, boys? What's up? It's Geo Gorgonzola, Mario Magazo. Carmine Falcone, Brandon fucking Bowling.

Yo, Brandon. What's up? Fuck, I didn't even do a fucking name. Oh, fuck. What up, boys? It's Shulay Santorini. What's up, fuck? This is Bowser Dong.

Hello? My name is Bernard Sanders. What's up? My name is Johnny Soderino. What's up, fuck? Has this Mike Torrico? Yo, what's up? This is, I'm Eli the Cat.

Oh, what's up, Eli? Fucking pussy ass bitch, fuck you. I'ma piss all over your house, Hank. All right, what's up, guys? It's Randy Wavioli. What's up, Randy? Lorenzo Linguini, Tommy Tornolini, Matt Aroni, Frankie Fettuccini.

My stardom this week is, who's that name? Like, fuck, come on. That's fine, I don't give a fuck. My stardom is your engines, because it's Fancy Fuckboys season and I'm fucking ready to roll. Wait, your stardom is this? Your engines.

Get your engines started, because it's Fancy Fuckboys time. My stardom this week is Marble Raising. Hell yes. Better than the ponies. Hell yes. I'm starting Fat Bears. I'm talking big old bears. They're eating seven kinds of fish

like it's Christmas time up in the Alaska. They're getting fat as fuck. Holy Toledo. They're so big and hairy, I thought I was my ex-wife. Oh, god, I'm in my stardom this week. P.F.D. already said it to Sean Watson and Patrick Mahomes. These guys, fuck, these guys are gonna throw it up and down the field.

I couldn't imagine ever they're not taking these guys in the 2017 draft, I'm not upset about it. You're totally not hanging on there. I'm here to tell you this weekend I'm starting money. That's right, all the sticky green gas, all the cash, money, all the change in my pocket. You know what you can use money to buy. That's right, soup, because it's soup season.

Tax return season, bitches. I'm talking chili soup. Chili's a soup, I'm talking chowder, piss, you name it. Wedding soup, broccoli, cheddar, baked potato. I could go on and on and on. My stardom is candy corn. People think it's just a fucking Halloween festival season, but it's delicious year round.

Don't let the haters shame you into not liking and buying candy corn. It's delicious. That's right, Mario. Give you some plumbers, butt clog. You're right up, 365 a year. Get it, Mario. I'm starting survival pools this weekend.

Thousands and thousands of dollars from donations. No bigger than $20 each. If you're still in your pool, stay the course. We're taking teams that are playing the dolphins. Take the Jets. My beloved New York Jets, don't overthink it. I'm from Brooklyn. I'm sitting.

Stick to sports. Stick to sports. This weekend. My stardom is CBS music. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Get ready for Saturday afternoon. I'm so excited for the big game. Gonna watch that music.

Hope you've earned Lundquist and somewhere having a great time. I miss you, Vern. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. A little fat little cheek, Sunky Vern. My stardom this week is Austin Rivers.

He got teed up. Or no, he told his dad to get teed up. He said, fuck his dad. Fuck your mother. Get teed up. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care that his dad's sperm is the reason he exists. He said, fuck him.

He's starting on my TV. That's right. And up his red style. My stardom is Zlatan. He retired from the galaxy. Or he left the galaxy. I don't fucking know. But all he said was, you're welcome.

You're welcome. That's how you leave. And that's talking football. Amen, Enzo. My sit-em is Silva. It was a terrible week for Silva financially. It's now only worth 17.60 per ounce. That's down three cents from last week.

Breaking finance. Shit. That's soft. I'm sitting methamphetamines. That's right. I feel the need for speed. The need for speed. But I'm going to get my bank of cranks from my TV this weekend

on Netflix, because Breaking Bad is coming out with a movie. It's time to Netflix and pill, not Netflix and jail. Breaking Bad. Check it out. My sit-em is Purdue. Purdue. No fun, Purdue. I try not to be fun of Purdue.

But they banned gambling on Purdue at Purdue. Come on, Purdue. That's Purdue, dude. My sit-em is great hands. LeBron's beard went gray. All the China situations stressing him out. He's getting old. He's looking bad.

He needs a tie job quick. He don't gray hair, shame. That's fine. That's fine. Freddie, Freddie. Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo, Geo. I'm sitting doing nice things for your mother. That's right, because it's going to backfire on her.

You try to do something nice for her birthday, set her up with some nice tickets to a good baseball game, so you do the playoffs. Next thing you know, the innards talk about some random guy fucking her. My sit-um is Space Jam 2. If you watch Space Jam 2, you support China and all they're doing in the bad stuff. And we already disavowed that shit. LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China. Cause he wants to sell his stupid movie Space Jam 2. Space Jam 1's better, MD's better than LeBron. Great beard, old fuck!

My cousin sells him on bootlegs on the corner, though, if you wanna see before it comes out. However, my sit-um is Halloween. That shit's over. Put it in the review. That is a fucking October thing. It's November. Stop worrying about getting dressed up and focused on the real world. We're back in no nut November boys! Get it! Keep those balls high and dry! Get it! May I finish, please? I am sitting at the Washington Redskins Insurance Program. I'm sitting at the medical staff. We will not stand for that and in my policy, every American will have their own blue medical tint provided to them.

In their backyard, we will screen for tumors on heads. Do not worry about it. We have you covered. My sit-um, load management. They sat Kawhi the other night. ESPN's mad. Load management is... ...sitting. That's all I got. I don't manage my loads. I bust them all day, every day. Hey, good... It's no... No, no, no, no. That's... You gotta load manage. My sit-um is crimson tide. I prefer my tides to be high or low, not fucking red. Certainly not relation to an elephant. Which I tied pot. Go fucking targets.

Looks like some little ravioli. I'm sitting Todd Gurley. That fraud motherfucker. He's not a cat owner. He thinks he's a cat owner. He's a cat agent is what he is. You ain't a cat fan till you have to pick my shit up with your bare hands and throw it out. My sleeper's laser pointer. Laser pointer? Laser pointer is always a great time. Not just for snipers anymore. I love fucking playing with a laser pointer. I'll stomp that bitch like a pouncy, brother. You never heard of before. Oh, man. Don't fuck up my pouncy.

Is that it? That's it. That's my sleeper. Also, yeah, I'm gonna take it. My sleeper is actually Katnatt. My sit-um is Paul Bisannette. Oh. I beat him up once. I'll beat him up again. He's chirping my boy Hank on Twitter. Fuck him. I was wondering if you knew who Brandon Bullock was. So good that you do. Seven fishes. Oh, I'm impressed you didn't know who Brandon Bullock was.

What are you doing right now? No, I didn't. I literally just searched Paul Bisannette Fight. Oh. Yeah, Bullock kicked his ass. I should have said Ryan Reeves though, because he was the one. He dumbied him. What's up with Biz? He's just chirping you? We put up a picture on PMT that was like our from from picture day and he was like, great picture minus Hank. And then he came in with a chirp about my suit like two weeks later,

like with the least unoriginal chirp of all time. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I expected something more clever out of Paul Bisannette than just great picture minus Hank. I mean, he's an all time chirper, right? He's a locker room guy. He keeps the boys loose. You'd think that he'd be able to do that. You have to have him on the show to discuss this disappointing, this very disappointing development here. All right. Catch these hands.

My sleep is candles. It's candle season like that candle. Don't go outside. Just let a candle give yourself a little extra ambiance. Mash it. Yeah, like that at least that 330 SCC game. Hit that candle feels like fall. That's right. Like that John Wick. My sleeper is melatonin. I'm sleeping melatonin over the counter to the bottle.

Stay away from big pharma. We're sleeping with melatonin this weekend. Gives you great strength. Wake up feeling 100 percent gets for the heart attacks. Fuck you, Bernie. Feel the burn. My sleeper is Mike Golik. Mike Golik will give you a butt massage that will put you to sleep.

He gave a butt massage live on air today. Holy shit, that guy gave a butt massage. P.H.F.T. Brown. He wants one of them. Two guys ain't got an ass like this guy. Two got fans. You fuck boys. And my sleeper is leaving peers outside to get naturally refrigerated.

Just primal as it gets and it saves you a few bucks for beers. Outside beers. Outside beers are the best. You have a drink of Bush Camovia. A glass of snow. Talk to you, bro. I used to buy 30 packs just to get the orange one. Fuck yes.

My sleeper is Dan Quinn. He's not fine. Weird. Weird. That's fucked up. Really fucking weird. My sleeper is lions. Not maddy pee, even though he's pretty good, but actual lions. There was a protest in Iraq and they took, they had it.

The police had dogs. Tell me about your political situation. Fucking lion. I don't know about the geopolitics of it, but having lions to go against dogs is fucking gangster. All right, peace, Cecil. My man. That's my sleeper. No, no, November.

Remember, boys, if you listen to this, no more nuts. You got a nut when you're in December. Don't you fucking not. Just let that fucking masculinity and machismo build up and boil up in your brain. Wet dream season. Yeah. If you're not nothing, your parents, your childhood bed, when you're going back to Thanksgiving break, you're doing no November incorrect.

I'm gonna fuck so many chicks in my sleep. That's no, not November. What a fucking weird thing. I move that we switch it to load summer. We just not as much as possible. OK, I like that. I like that. My she's 25 boyfriend.

He's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Buster's fare so far. I don't see a problem. I really don't know where to start with this and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wit's end dealing with my boyfriend. Some context. We have been together for two years and he is overall fantastic. Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting and responsible. For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking

for them. That's a try hard move. He'll come for me after a tough day at work. I work at a call center and get some crazy ones. For the most part, he is also very respectful of me. This sounds like a great relationship, PFT. We were both raised Catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall standup guy, which I admire a lot.

Literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Buster's. I'd say that he's the total package. This is the total package. I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him. I guess I'll just get to the bad part. My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave and Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum. I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum.

We are talking crying, stomping, et cetera. It's bad. That's again, Dave and Buster's is awesome. So this is a little crazy. None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to quote, go to Buster's. Why are you leaving Dave out of it though?

I admire the fact that he's short. It's that he's got his own pet name for Dave and Buster's. Basically you're in a relationship with three guys right now, your boyfriend, Buster and Dave and it's been more than if it's been more than a week, he'll say we haven't been in quote forever. I love this guy. I want to be best friends with this guy. This guy has given off major like I grew up in like some weird cult like environment

vibes, right? He's capable of all these prizes. Yeah. And Dave and Buster's was like a mural champion. Yeah, I like this. I like this first introduction to electricity and so he just like fell in love with it. Yeah. Scratch MJ's competitiveness.

This guy's competitiveness. I've tried talking it through with him. I have suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the power play card. They don't have the million dollar midway.

So many things. Yes. So many games. Take me to a Chuck E. Cheese and I will. I will throw a fucking fall. So new barcades, they always do like the hipster throwback games like, Oh, we have the Simpsons game. Don't you love it?

Nostalgia. Dave and Buster's has everything. They have the hits. They have the old stuff. They have the good news stuff. You got to go to Dave and Buster. Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes because like I there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter.

Oh, and then it's and then it's and you select your game. They give you zombies. Shout out to anyone who still has cruising USA. When I tell him, I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone. He says something like, What do you mean? You love Buster's. I give you all the prizes. This guy's giving away the prizes.

It's not even about the material thing. It's about the process that he really loves. That's more than just a stuffed animal. Yeah. That's more than the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy balls. Yeah. It's more than the like weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people. Those are only available like being redeemed for tickets.

You can't buy those on the normal market. You think you should buy Beanie Babies knock knock off Beanie Babies these days? No, no key chains. Oh, you better believe he's got key chains. When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him. Now that now you are a good girlfriend and he makes me follow him around to each game to play together. That's it.

Oh, wait. No, no. I press him about it and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D&B's and considers it quote the single best day of his life. You know, holy shit. I love this fucking guy. This guy is Jim Harbaugh.

Yeah, he might be. I won so much. Absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do. Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying I just want to do that again, that specific thing. And you know what? Like the more I think about it, like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool, like video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with

football. Yeah. And it's also what's the alternative going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic. I'd go to Dave and Buster's. You know, what's depressing is driving past a Dave and Buster's and not going. Yeah. Be like, man, I really wish I go and everything that you do for the rest of your drive will

not be as fun as going into Dave and Buster's going into Buster's. Yeah. How do I help him move past this? I really want to keep dating this man. I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable. Please help. Uh, too long. Didn't read my boyfriend is obsessed with DNB's won't accept not going there at least

once a week. We have a great relationship other than that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't see any problem with this. You need to just, you're dating the coolest guy on the planet. Yes. The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Buster's than him. Yeah.

That's the only way you cannot tell him not to go to Buster's. You cannot tell him, Hey, we, you know, let's skip a week cause then he'll say we haven't been there in forever. You can't have him go solo. The only solution if you really don't want to go to Buster's is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game. That's exactly right. That's it.

You have to win more tickets than him one time. Yes. That's really it. And he will never go again. He'll never go again. Yeah. Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation.

I think they probably go to vacations around Dave and Buster's. Only in cities that have Dave and Buster's in them. Like you can't go overseas. They've been to Tampa many times. Yeah. Jesus. Tampa is the one on every block. It's like Starbucks in Tampa.

Oh man. All right. That's our Monday reading. Shout out that guy. If we can, if someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave and Buster's with him. Yes. I would.

Yes. In New York. We will fly you out. I love anybody that's that. Depending on where you live. There's that passion about any like weird small things. Yes. I just find them fascinating.

Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because the best day of my life. The single best day of his life. I mean, the staff at that Dave and Buster's definitely knows. He's a regular. He's the only one that walks into Dave and Buster's and says, I'll have the usual. And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.

You show up and everyone like, Hey, here he comes. He probably changed his name to Dave and Buster. Maybe Dave Buster. Yeah. All right. Hank, decide what you want us to do for our Monday reading. Here are the two headlines. The first is why straight men are joining masturbation cult clubs.

And the second cult. I think it's safe to say that's a cult. The second is my month inside a group of people who drink their own piss. I mean, we're going to do the other one. We're going to do the other one next week. So just pick. Oh, wait. Big cat.

Yeah. Jose Canseco tweeted at JLo. If you want the truth about Alex Rodriguez, call me and gave his phone number. Do we want to call him? Yeah, call him. Let's give him a call. Fuck this guy. So he's probably everyone's calling him right now.

Yeah. Do star six nights. We can't call you back. In honor of Mr. Craft, I think we should do the masturbation cult. Wait, where's this tweet on this call was direct at to JLo. So it doesn't pop up. Yeah. It's very private.

I'm calling right now. Three. Fuck this guy. Okay. Let's see. Star six nights. The star six nights still work. Yeah, I think so.

Welcome to Verizon Wireless. Your call cannot be completed. It's fake. Damn, it's fake. He got me. It's good thing you blocked your number. Otherwise, I would have been very bad. All right.

So we're going to do, what did you say, Hank? Masturbation cult. Okay. Why straight men are joining masturbation clubs? All right. So it starts. The citation needed. It's long.

So we're going to skip around here. When Brandon was in his early 20s and studying abroad, he went on a trip to Israel with his friends to hike in the Judean caves. At a certain point, they reached a part of the cave that was pitch black. It didn't take long for someone to suggest we all jerk off in the darkness. Brandon now 35 says, and so we did. After that skull and bones. Isn't that like the initiation?

Yeah. You now can be a president of the United States. Yeah. It's fun to imagine that John Kerry and George Bush probably jerked off in the same room at the same time. Yes. Absolutely. 100% did.

After they finished, they zip themselves up and proceeded to continue meandering through the caves as if nothing happened. They never spoke of it again. Brandon self identifies as straight. That's a great use of words there. Self identifies. So other people might not identify. You got to make sure you cover all your bases when using tags like that.

He had never masturbated in front of another man, let alone a group of other men before in his life. Yet he says in retrospect, the weirdest thing about the incident was how not weird it seemed at the time. Yeah. It's kind of strange how that thought just came to him where he was like, let's obviously let's jerk off in this cave together. Yes.

Exactly. He's playing like there's a whole history behind it. We know this is a doctor who wrote a book. He says, we know it's common for teenage boys to masturbate together or to instruct one another on how to do it, says Dr. Jane Ward, author of the 2015 Not Gay, Sex Between Straight White Men. What a book. What a book.

The title is called Not Gay. The title is Not Gay, Sex Between Straight White Men. No homo. Let's jerk off in this cave together. Yeah, don't worry, Hibbert. And she coined the viral term bro jobs to describe straight men having sex with each other. Okay.

Ward cites a 1981 report on male sexuality by sex. See, this is like when they go into like doctors talking about male sexuality, sexologist share height, which suggested that nearly 20% of men had engaged in group masturbation during adolescence. Well, here's the deal. Yeah. That's called pledging, dude. Guys are just horny.

I don't think it necessarily means anything. I think it's just sometimes guys, we got a nut. Yeah, sure. If that's in a cave, so be it. I'll make a stalactite out of my sperm. Okay. So here we're going, we're jumping ahead here in Seattle, for instance, there's the Rain City Jacks, a jackoff, jackoff club for men who wish to per the website jack off openly

and safely in a uniquely sex positive, non-discriminating and mutually respectful community. Hey, we're sex positive. Yeah. So it's like a pack of jackets. Well, if it feels like a leather jacket club, like a motorcycle gang. You've got the patch on the back, the Rain City Jacks. Every Sunday and Tuesday, the Rain City Jacks meet in an erotic art gallery in Seattle. The furniture is covered in canvas.

I feel like you'd want to be plastic. Yeah, you want to make that look like a kill room in Dexter. Okay. And volunteers hand out small plastic cups of lube to guests. Oh, please note they try to be environmentally responsible. People want their own clean lube. So. Yeah, no big question is are the cups are they recyclable? It's a big it's an important question

The lights are dimmed slightly and soft music plays while the men gather either alone or in small clusters and Proceed to jerk off all the while keeping conversation to a minimum to ensure everyone stays in the moment Should we go do this for Barstool gold? Yeah, this is the cult that we're gonna join This is I didn't know this was a thing, but it seems like It is it seems like this is definitely a thing that people are doing now How many people did say are in the rain city jacks? I didn't give an exact number. Okay. I'm gonna look up I'm going incognito mode looking up rain city jacks Just to see if this is a real thing or something that somebody made up as a prank in recent years

Jackoff clubs have catered to an increasingly diverse younger and more sexually open clientele The younger the guys are the more open they are says Steve the younger generation is so comfortable with gay people They'll play with another guy even though they prefer women cash should not have gone to this website Yeah, that was a bad Google search. I was just making sure it was real So essentially, there's just like this is kind of like them. It's very real the jerk off Crystals that Danica Patrick told you. Yeah Listen, I don't want to I don't want to knock anybody's hobby because I'm sure some of the thing I'm sure watching football every Sunday. We basically are in a jackoff club without Jack. Yeah, we jack off our brains and eyes

Right to playing fancy football fancy football is a jackoff club. Yeah, absolutely, right? It's just fancy football players don't have the balls to just reach down and crank it in front of their bros This is yeah, I mean, this is listen if you want to if you want to be in a jackoff club Everyone just wants to be a part of something. That's just human nature, right? Do you think they shake hands after they're all done? I feel like the secret handshake has to happen. No before. Yeah I think it's this the handshake goes on throughout This is a handshake. The secret handshake is just jerking yourself. That's the secret handshake It's just a handshake club, but you're just

Handshaking dicks. Yeah, your own. That's how you that's how you can internalize it if you prefer women over men, right? It's it's essentially like a frat as you said, but the secret handshake is just cranking yourself off to completion Yeah On its surface the idea that a man might masturbate in front of other men as an assertion of heterosexuality might sound strange But in truth Ward points out there's not much of a distinction between the communal experience of a jackoff club and say go Into a strip club and getting a lap dance at the same time as your friend actually Not a terrible point. Mm-hmm. We're having sex in the same room as your male roommate during college. Okay, it's based That's a threesome, right? Yeah. Yes, presumably there are women present in those scenarios

But the result communal arousal is the same while both those experiences are not uncommon for men in their teens and 20s They're staunchy staunchly homoerotic nonetheless And it's also worth noting that there isn't quite an equivalent for young women the norms of collective arousal for men are very Different than they are for women Ward says it's just common for men's sexuality express itself in a public way just guys being dudes Yeah, I was essentially just explained the guys love to be dudes. It's just kid stuff. Yeah, he just needs a release. That's fine How long do you think these meetings last because I would imagine that if it's just a bunch of horny dudes Yeah, probably in and out in five to ten minutes. Do you think there's anyone in the club?

We're like, yeah, that guy like he he leaves way too quick. Yeah, probably probably like just embarrasses himself Rick. Yeah, Rick That'd be a tough look for Rick. Yeah, do you think these parties are catered? I would assume so there's gotta be an open bar Right. Yeah, you can't you can't just go in and start cranking off sober Oh, good. You say catered you think open bar I was like thinking of like, you know, like little sandwich food and like you're thinking of corn dog bites Or yeah, it's like it. Yeah, it's a place like a jerk off just goes along with a jerk off pigs in a blanket dipped in a only That works for me. Mm-hmm. So yeah, this is a new trend again sex positive

I didn't think this was something we'd be reading but Hank wanted to read it. So we've done it. Good job. Good job, Hank Yeah, all right, that's our show Hank. Are you gonna stick around this week? Yeah, all right It's good to have you back Hank. It's great to have you on this show. Thanks, and I'm very excited for LeBron Lockwood Love you guys Oh Oh Oh So

Oh Oh You