Pardon My Take - Bill Burr, Julian Edelman Retires, And FAQ's

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Julian Edelman has retired and the Hall of Fame debate has ruined the internet (02:41 - 21:02). Sean Payton's movie starring Kevin James and we cast the rest of the movie (21:02 - 23:45). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (27:45 - 44:00). Bill Burr joins the show to talk about his return to comedy, sports coming back, SNL and tons more (44:00 - 94:01) We finish with a great round of listener submitted FAQ'sYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Bill Burr, recurring guest Hall of Famer, Bill Burr. Also Hall of Fame discussion about recurring guest Hall of Famer, Julian Edelman, and why it's bullshit that his actual accomplishments have been belittled by the internet because he may not be a Hall of Famer. We have Hati Kulthrone, and then we have FAQs.

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slash PMT. Today is Wednesday, April 14th, tax day. But it got moved. I was trying to scare Hank. I was trying to freak him out on that one. It's uh Should we debate Julian Edelman in the Hall of Fame day? Well, let's debate whether or not we should have that debate big cat Well, I was laughing. I was I think we should give him some give him some respect Well, okay first. Yes. Yes, please pause for one second and then debate. Yeah. Yeah, good. All right Let's wait for all the facts to come out first. Okay, so um Let's not your right Hank

We need to give him his credit But I also was chuckling to myself before we got to the show and I was like just kind of doing a quick I do a quick scroll through the internet to see if I missed anything and it dawned on me that we're in a lull in The sports discourse because you obviously had March Madness in the Masters You're waiting for NBA playoffs and Stanley Cup playoffs You're waiting for the NFL draft and it's so funny how the crutch that everyone uses It's debate a Hall of Famer that no one really is debating except everyone's debating just so that they can dunk on No one that's existing and then the other one is

KD is fighting with someone online. So super teams come up That's like the it's like the breaking case of emergency if there's nothing to talk about you can always talk about Super teams and KD being triggered online or you can always do the thing where you just you invent somebody to dunk on Right, it's like I saw somebody actually tweet this out the other day Y'all say y'all out here saying that Kevin Durant isn't a good been mid-range jump shooter It's like no no one literally no one said that he's yes Him and like Alan Houston are probably the best jump shooters of all time But yeah, you just you invent stuff to debate about I do disagree with you about the Edelman thing there

I don't know who you're following on Twitter There are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame off the top. I had skip a list Okay, no there's real who though. I mean that's one. No, but this there's no you're in your echo chamber because there are tons I think you're in an echo. No, I didn't name them. I'm seeing like list of 40 I didn't keep I don't keep a list of people. I don't think you can name more than three Edelman you shouldn't keep three real people. I can not off the top of my head But there are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the hall So don't know if you can name more than three real people. Look at the replies to your tweet

I I said three real people. I'm not talking about fans who are obviously gonna go with their guy I'm talking about three writers people who might vote for the Hall of Fame current three real He said that he's not probably not a Hall of Fame. I thought he said that he was I'm pretty sure on his article He was like I think he I think he's an incredible Patriot and he obviously had a lot to do with the dynasty, but probably not a Hall of Fame I've seen a lot of people saying that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame They might not have blue check marks next to the big guy. I'm saying that's what I'm saying I don't think there's actually there are fans. You're keeping the Hall of Fame debate. No, I'm not because I no no no no

I think it no because I I'm trying to figure out where this started because what's happening is It's basically what Hank just alluded to it's not fair to Julian Edelman who had an incredible career that people are Immediately being like Heinz Ward's better Reggie Wayne's better. All these numbers are better It's like but no one actually like show me the few people that are actually saying he deserves to be so I think where this started was because This is bubbling up for all fame. Yeah, show me the people who are saying this. He's a no-doubter Hall of Famer They don't know no one saying he's no doubter But here's the thing there it started like maybe two years ago Right when he was in the middle of another playoff run when people were talking about him as being maybe the best playoff wide receiver of all time

Not named Jerry Rice and then from that discussion people were like well, how much does that impact? It's a greenie thing. Is there are you caping for greenie? You think greenie would keep for a New England Patriot? I I think greenie would would be like, you know, what's a really good debate that won't get me in any trouble that I can Just start and and do four shows about Julian Edelman in the Hall of Fame So I don't think well, I don't see now you've got me saying I don't think that he should be in the Hall of Fame Which sounds mean because he just retired and he had a great career obviously Okay, so if someone retires and you don't Immediately have a debate on whether or not they should be in the Hall of Fame like Peter King shows up at your doorstep

And won't leave until you laugh at his anecdote, right? He's been discussing this a little bit, too I just don't I can't find the person who's like running the Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame Campaign I can't find well Billy was that person is a filling. What did you say agent of chaos? Well, Billy doesn't think he's retired It's the Hall of Fame not the Hall of Stats Okay, that's my point on the matter. Okay, so you're saying you're saying that he's not a Hall of Fame receiver He doesn't have Hall of Fame stats, but he's a Hall of Fame player. I think I'll go one I think he's a Hall of Fame human being there we go. I okay. Here's what here's my take on Julian Edelman

He's an incredible player. I here's what they really should do. They should change the Hall of Fame It should be we should even make it more like nerdy and it should be Hall of Fame above replacement value or where you were drafted So if you do the Julian Edelman was drafting the seventh round He's a Hall of Fame because he exceeded all the expectations for his career He's a Mel Kuiper Hall right and then if you have a first round if you draft a guy in the first round He has to have a like an insane Hall of Fame career to be in the Hall of Fame You know seventh rounders should get a little bit more of a benefit of the doubt for how much they exceeded what everyone expected out

Yeah, I think what this comes down to is it's a lot of people that are essentially Saying that the New England Patriots dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame So it's not as much like Julian was such a big part of that dynasty. I think more of the argument is just like That Hank you probably want like the entire the entire run that you had every player that played on the Patriots going back to 2001 You want like a Wilford Seymour Malcolm Butler your vest. I wouldn't say my baller. My vest should be in like a Problem, we should be in the Hall of Fame not voted in but it's part of the right When you go to the hall visit there should be like a little section like Brady for my vest Maybe you know showing my my all the pets I won my pet slips and stuff, right?

But is that kind of the crux of it is it's mostly people who are just like New England Patriots dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's gonna be in the Hall of Fame his moments like you said will be in the Hall of Fame Yeah, in like them in the moment as you're walking through the museum like greatest playoff performances the catch the throw in the Ravens game But yeah, he's not gonna have a bust. I'm not doesn't matter right It doesn't matter and yet he has three rings and I'm like an MVP What it actually is getting me mad and that it that whoever created this debate has Ended up making like the discourse about Julian Edelman's career how he's not a Hall of Famer when that shouldn't even be the question It should just be he's an all-time great clutch receiver big moments

He was the one who came up through like his career is incredible when you think about the fact that he was a seventh rounder and You know like a kick-returner. Maybe it like they thought maybe he'd be a DB all these things So I'm more mad that whoever decided I can't find the person I want you to find me the person PFT that created the debate of Julian Edelman deserves to be in the Hall of Fame has Now had the reaction of everyone being like he's not a Hall of Famer and it's like shut up Why don't you just celebrate the guy's career, right? It's more it's more a matter of we've been talking about it as kind of like a Theoretical experiment for the last couple years like when the day comes who started so there's been a who's there's been a debate going on and

There are a ton of people out there think that Jake actually had a great take today. I love this We were actually discussing Julian Edelman's Hall of Fame resume and Jake was like this the debate Over whether or not Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame should be in the Hall of Fame It's a Hall of Fame debate is a Hall of Fame It is no doubt about it And I do think that some of the people that are saying that he should be in the Hall of Fame He gets who are they like an added benefit fine. I don't you can search like it's so easy to find I couldn't find him. I couldn't find anyone

Right yeah, I couldn't find anyone who's a Hall of Fame voter or like a NFL writer or like someone who Because I just can't stand and I guess this is just the internet I'm just hate the internet in general, but I can't stand the everyone arguing against something It's like but no one was arguing the other side. You guys are dunking on no one So all I saw last night like Hines Ward was trending Reggie Wayne was trending and people were tweeting out like look at Reggie Wayne stats Look how much better he is than Julian Edelman. It's like shut up, dude Why don't you just appreciate Julian Edelman? No one said that he was had better stats and Reggie Wayne I think what you're seeing these people writing the articles in response to are the replies to people's tweets

That's stupid. That's who that's who they're well Those are real people too big cat you are but that's not like those are fit like everyone's gonna want their favorite player to be in The Hall of Fame. I think that a lot of times Julian Edelman and Danny amandola Julian gets credit for some of the things that in the back of your head. You think that maybe Danny or He gets credit for the stuff that Danny amandola did in West Welker and West Welker a little bit So he's like they should there should be a bust for all three of them Julie Dan Welker Mandola. It should just be slot receiver Patriots. Yes. Yes, that should be in the Hall of Fame. Yes

I'm cool with that and I think Julian Edelman like he's not if I had if I had a Hall of Fame vote He would be one of those guys that like when they do the you know How like Cower got in and cried on TV and they let everyone in that year like that would be a wait till one of those Years whenever what's that was a year? That was a hundred, right? So like wait till 150 and they start opening the door to everyone and they clean up the Hall of Fame That feels like a Julian Edelman and he's gonna I think he if I had to like guess I think he and will end up in it in like 20 years because people will keep it alive And it will like grow in and no other receiver will do what he's done in the playoffs right in the next 20 years

Right, right ever ever it is crazy. Regi Wayne's on the whole thing. That was that was wild and hindered and hindered That is crazy to me I mean, yeah, if you're judging by the company that you keep it's very funny to me to see like what trends on Twitter When something that has nothing to do with right so like if uh, if like the day comes when Joe Flacco retires You know Trent Delfers gonna how's that not happened because he's still he's still playing but you know You can almost predict like the runoff conversation that's gonna happen with Ray Rice might turn on that big Ben retires to Sean Watson trends. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's gonna be I Just don't I don't know. It's just there's no it's it's a no

I do debates are they get a little tired, but it's like if truly that'll men's not in Eli Manning's obviously not in either That's why I don't get how people say that either. Well, yeah, Eli. I don't really don't understand I never thought I never thought I would be but it's kind of what you're saying. It'll be longevity Eli played for a lot longer like was only he was you got to look at the quarterback Right, but I'm saying I'm saying a long time at a high level. Oh, yeah I'm saying that would be that have longer longevity in general then right wider she was going through the middle every every snap I'm just saying the counter argument Eli Manning also beat Julie Den welcome and dola twice in Super Bowl I think only one was Julie Mandela Julie Den welcome and dola

Well, Billy doesn't even think Julian Edelman's retired by the way We need to get to that. I have a lot of faith in his work ethic And I think he definitely is gonna try to rehab and come back He had an incredible career Hall of Famer in the in the recurring guest book And yeah, he's like I don't know it's to me We're in a bus made for him being We should have a playoff Hall of Fame because he would definitely be in there I'd like to see that would be the Patriots one. Yeah, there's called the Patriots. Hi Patriots Hall of Fame

I just I actually feel bad it ends up I feel bad for I know he doesn't care But I feel bad for Julian Edelman that this debate happens on the day that he retires when it's like shut up Like just appreciate the fact that he was an awesome player and really no one's debating the other side Shut up all you writers who are debating against them. We should wait until the facts come out no matter like this Let's not politicize Julian Edelman's retirement. I want to find the fucking people I want their agents of chaos the people who started this they just watched the world burn They just set it aflame I think that we should include more unorthodox things in the Hall of Fame like they should

They should induct a football into the Hall of Fame I think there is one. No, but they it should have a ball actual football They should put they should make a bust of the NFL football the Duke put it behind the podium for five minutes Silence have everybody stare at it. Yeah, put a gold jacket on and walk it off stage So Julian Edelman in in the playoffs. He had 118 receptions 144 Or sorry 1442 yards in 19 playoff games And then if you actually take it where he was like a featured wide receiver It was 14 games and it was 1200 yards plus 109 receptions

Which is an incredible season if it was a regular season That's the playoffs and it's 14 games. He's all time. He's an all-time playoff player. He's just a fact You know what he is that guy's just a football player. Yeah, he is. Do you think we have a bias? Do you think the Hall of Fame? Here's a real question Does the does the Hall of Fame have a bias towards a position like slot receiver because it's similar to like a nose tackle Who doesn't get the sacks like he doesn't you know, he doesn't actually get the sacks of the force fumbles He's you know impacting the games another way a slot receiver might not have all the receiving yards or all the touchdowns But he's impacting the game in another way. Yeah, so I think that that's definitely a thing

I think that they should probably break it down into positions at some point in the future Where you have a certain number of positions that get in at any given time Yeah, like Art Monk Art Monk didn't get into the Hall of Fame for like 15 years and he was in the top five for almost every single category Because you get these log jams that come up. I just love like that. This is I mean, it's it's again when we have like a Low in sports. It's Hall of Fames and then super teams. Mm-hmm. That's the way do we do it? Oh, I'm ready for a load management debate, too We haven't had that in a while. Well, who's who's doing it? No, I'm just ready. That's the Like the Kyrie stuff. Yeah, towards the end of the yes towards the end of the season

We always get the load management debates going. All right. So wait, is he hangs the Hall of Famer? As far as I'm concerned. Yes, there we go. That's one. I found you somebody He is you know what? He's a Hall of Fame human being there we go better human being than football player I don't even want to diminish his capacity as just a person. Yeah, I've been talking about the stuff He did on the football field. Yes, Billy You can't measure the value in the games He won the way that stats portray him the best argument The best are yeah, the best argument that Julian Edelman has and Eli Manning is you can't tell the story of football without those guys

Mm-hmm. I love that argument, too Yeah, because you can't tell the story of the of the Falcons Super Bowl without Julian Edelman You can't tell the story of the of Tom Brady's career without Eli Manning So that's if you if anyone who is trying to argue this use that and there's no there's no comeback No, because it makes you feel warm. It makes you feel nostalgic about the game. Yeah, you can't tell the story of football without Julian Edelman, who do you think would induct the football? I feel like John Madden would give a great Introductory speech for a football. Yeah. Yeah, that would be good Bill Belichick would be good for the football, too

Yeah, he probably knows some weird shit about football is that nobody else does absolute like how to take the air out of him The the clip that was resurfacing from Edelman's first like when he got his first touchdown punt return touchdown Because Walker was injured and he walks up to him on the sidelines like you ever heard a walley pip That's gonna be you I think Edelman say that or to Bill Belichick Walker Walker Walker was like oh little guy like for the pun returns I don't want it and then Belichick way to compete. He's like way to compete Yeah, and he he had that preloaded to you heard him on the mic talking to Ernie Adams upstairs He goes Ernie what was the guy's name that played before Mickey Mantle did then he went over to Welker said that and Welker was like

I don't know. I don't know if I know Wally Pippin. He was like, yeah He's the guy that played right before Mickey Mantle got it. It is I mean that's our Lou Gehrig That's the thing like I was saying though the argument that happens because of the whole fame debate like diminishes How crazy Julien Edelman's story is in the NFL. I also being a seventh rounder being a punt returner Ending up being Tom Brady's like number one safety blanket. It's crazy and he's just got so many cool plays He's got you know what he has signature plays. Yeah. Yeah, catch. He's got eyes and moments He's not a receiver. He's a versatile football player. There we go. Well, I know it's back Offensive utility player is a offensive weapon. We haven't taped Bill Burry yet. We should definitely ask him

We'll get into it. He might be he might be the one he could be he could be the one when a little bit about Bill I think that this this might be a hill he'll die on. Yeah. Yeah I just someone find me the guy because he is an agent of chaos. He just A lot of it wasn't one person that did it. I know what you're saying because there's not like one person There's usually a skip Bayless, right? That's saying and I think that skip probably waited to see which way the wind was blown He's like, I'm gonna go the other way because I'm skip, right But it was a conversation that's been happening for the last two years. I know that it's waiting to grab

It's like yeah, like a brush fire. Yeah, I just I oftentimes like have tried as We've been on the internet for a very long time now whenever there's a Ever whenever I see everyone tweeting about one thing like dunking and being like this is absolutely correct I'm I try to find out like well Who are they arguing with and if it's no one it makes me so angry. Oh, I like you guys are just getting free points for nothing Listen, I'm I'm agreeing with you a hundred percent on that, but I think in this case It's a little bit different. I got to find the person someone produce the person

All right, we also have news that Sean Payton is being Put into or it's a movie about Sean Payton's 2012 year with Kevin James playing the role of Sean Payton Which is now makes this the movie of whatever summer comes out I'm very excited for it and I would like to be cast as an extra in the movie Yes, so that out there and we thought about who we would put in the movie for the rest of the roles now I think Kevin James once Kevin James the lead it just opens up the entire Casting where you can just take as many risks as you want anybody yeah I'm James is such a good actor that it covers up everyone else's fault right

I had a list of people that are strictly from 90s sitcoms. Okay. I have some of the names too Yeah, so let's talk Greg Williams. He has to be in the movie, right? Yeah, I got a big role Yeah, so you could either go with big pussy the rat Okay, or you could go with Brad Garrett from everybody loves Raymond or this is the one I think I like Ted Danson, okay, I was thinking we get a little something off of the space jam and Pick up someone who got cut Pepe lapieu. I Like that don't care a guy who everyone hates now never never takes his foot off the gas Yeah, never takes his foot off the gas see yeah

He's never heard like he does he has his set way and he's gonna keep doing it that way So I think you have a little bit of animation in the movie and you have Pepe lapieu play Greg Williams That could be good. Yeah, I'm on board with that. Here. I'll hate them Okay, here's one that I think you guys will like Mr. Belding is gonna play Edward. Oh, okay, so who's gonna play get a building Peeped up post post say by the bell. You got big filter. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we'll put him on the diet Okay, we'll get him Billy will spend a week with him. He'll slim down. What uh, maybe like a month. I like that What about Roger Goodell? That's a good question. Mr. Feeney. So mr. Feeney would be great as Roger Goodell. I also think that Newman

Newman good choice the guy from the Americans the guy that played the FBI agent from the Americans. I forget the guy's name But he looks like Roger Goodell. Okay What's his name Frazier Kelsey grammar. Yeah, Kelsey grammar as Roger Goodell could work. I I was thinking about Rappaport Which one? Goodell. Oh, I was thinking some outside the box Casting I think we should have Darren Sharper in this movie who's in jail right now. I hope so definitely as far as we know We should make Peter King play Darren Sharper. Yeah, he's what he thinks that he's a Hall of Famer He is the guy Peter King play Darren Sharper and like that's that's Peter King's cross to bear. I like that

We could have screeches Ian Rappaport. Okay. I like that. Oh, I have What screeches dead? Yeah, that's right screeches. That's fine. He's very dead. We'll reanimate him big dead hologram screech I was thinking for Drew Brees something age-appropriate Clint Eastwood Mm-hmm. Okay. I like that or we could have him be Will Ferrell, but it's will Ferrell when he's Ricky Bobby, but only when Ricky Bobby thinks he's paralyzed Okay, I like that. I like that you can have Millie Bobby Brown play his daughter Yes, and she gets a bloody nose because she's so mad that she's not allowed to play football and then and then the Saints start like Winning games out of nowhere. Yeah, I'm controlling it with her with her brain

I was thinking who would play Aaron Cromer who was one of the Coaches for the Saints who I hate forever because he was part of the Trespin Bears and he remember he punched a kid on the on the beach Yeah, so maybe just Aaron Cromer plays Aaron Cromer. I don't think that he'd let anybody else play him Let's see what else I have here. I had one more. Oh, yeah, dr. Nick Riviera as the team physician That's perfect. That is perfect. Will Smith is Will Smith. Yep. Oh, I had Will Smith. Oh, I had Carlton Banks is Jonathan Filma, that's good. Yeah, I like that and then I had when in the scene where Sean Peyton He's taken that year off So he's spending all his time watching film stealing the Eagles trick kickoff play doing CrossFit. Yeah, so you remember that play

Yeah, that he stole from the Eagles Riley Cooper played by Michael Richards. Oh Perfect, there it is typecast. Yes. That is perfect. I'm so excited for this movie Yeah, I don't want to burst your guys bubble too much because I know, you know, this is a fun project for you guys But I think the movie is Based off of the season that came after the bounty, so that's what we're saying. Yeah, that's why Aaron Cromer No, no, no, no when he was coaching his son's sixth grade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's why yeah He's he spends the entire time watching Yeah, there's gotta be a lead-up my guess is that it's gonna be like oh

It's gonna be like a movie. Yeah, where he's just coaching the kids, right? So Rick Moranis should be in it Yeah, actually will keep him away from Aaron Cromer Like I don't think they're gonna be I don't think Greg Williams will be making in parents in this in this movie Anything to say about it. I think Greg Williams will play. Oh, he'll take it the heat of it. Yes. Yeah This will probably just be like 90 minutes of anti-grig Williams propaganda, which I mean I would Hats off to Sean Payton if he's that petty to make a movie about himself Yes, that's just taking a shit on his biggest enemies. We think that he is we should get yeah So we'll make a movie poster with some of our casting decisions. Oh

Man, yeah, the CrossFit years for Sean Payton I didn't he didn't like all these Saints get injured when he came back. They had like back injuries It's like hey, we're gonna do cross because he got inducted into the Colt. Yeah, AC Slater Mario Lopez plays the CrossFit instructor Yes, that's perfect. That is perfect. We're gonna work out a role for you Billy Billy Assistant Just as your coach assistant assistant pop on our team. Just assist. Well, I think it's a high school coach I know it's Pop Warner. It's like sixth grade. Yeah, it's not really. Yeah. Yeah, his kid was young

We might be a little too. We need to have Jerry Jerry Jones should be Jerry Jones Yes, because I'm in on the plane. Well, no cuz I think he was coaching his kid in Texas So Jerry Jones is probably watching being like I want that. Oh, you guys would be great dads on the sideline Just like yeah, that gallery type of stuff screaming. Yeah, that's good. I like that you could be a kicker I was gonna say I think You'd be actually a good role for you big guy Well, like drop drop off your kid to the coach and then make like a quick bounty joke Walk away. Hey, you know, you throw maybe some paper towels be like, hey case you need to clean up. Here's the bounty. Yeah

I could play your kid. Yeah, and you can drop me off on the kicker. Yeah. Yeah, I like that Okay, we're good to go. Let us know if you want us to help with this movie whoever's making it All right, should we do hot seat cool throne? Then we'll get to Bill Burr and we got FAQs and We have a horse stable now with spider Hank hot seat cool throne on my hot seat is Shannon sharp you alluded to earlier with Kevin Durant This is how it started He basically got duped by one of these like fake Instagram accounts that pokes post quotes that you think are real but aren't real And then he ran with it on his, you know, nationally broadcast show

He said the quote that he said which isn't true Kevin Durant never said this But you know, if you put it on a quote card, it seems legit There's a quote card that said it was from Kevin Durant said if we'll brawn James is the goat and I beat the goat two times And hit all the shots in his face. What does that make me wait? So he never said that Kevin Durant never said that and Shannon sharp is saying that he said that yes That's how the debate started. He said that he's like Kevin Durant said this the low low time We're in a low period right and then Kevin Durant obviously went on Twitter was like I never said this like what are we talking about here? And then Shannon sharp like blocked him and you know, it's gone gone silent. So yeah, good for KD

Great for Katie if you see cap say cap and he called him out Yeah, you guys like that cap is by the way cap strong right now Yeah, in way in a way it is not in the way that you're talking. No, it's back. It's back big time You brought the dad back. I brought cap back Yeah, caps here. It's not going where and you're capping right now Yeah, no, no Yeah But it's fun to say. Yeah, you you love it. No, I listen you do you I'm not gonna cap

Is that I even do you's that right? It sounds like you're capping about not capping. I I don't I Refuse I remove myself from the cap conversation cap in the hat. I don't I don't want to be in the cap I don't know I can't figure it out I'm of the age now where I'm happy to say when I don't understand anything and I can just say you guys have fun I do think it's funny though that for two separate reasons Kevin Durant and Michael Rappaport Have been heavily featured on undisputed in the last week. Yes. Yes big time get them together get the big gang back together You know what? Let's keep it going though because I do like I like Shannon Sharp Reading these fake quote boards and taking them as gospel. So just send Shannon sharp fake quotes about every athlete

Yes, it's in the news. I'm down. See how much he's he falls for. Yes. Oh, then I cool throwing his mystery flights. Oh Do you guys hear about this? No, I am not So this is a tweet I saw today. It says mystery flights are the next big thing Quantas is the latest airline to offer undisclosed flights to undisclosed locations providing pastures with clues about what to pack and Teasing itineraries by the airline. Would you ever book a mystery flight? I mean, that's basically vacation That's flying on spirit air. Yeah, that's funny. You don't know if you're gonna land. It's actually more thrilling I I would I'd be down for mystery flights, but the problem with with this idea is I bet you it's all like cool places They need to throw in

Like and that now I think this place is cool, but like it should be like Fiji Paris France Youngstown, Ohio and it's like you mystery flight. That would be cool Mm-hmm I'd be down and I would rather go to Youngstown than the other two places because you do need a little element of danger Right, exactly. Otherwise. It's all fun and games. Right. Where are you gonna land? Is it gonna which is it gonna be on the good Bahama Island or the fire? Yeah, yeah, like Bermuda. Yeah Imagine once you just go to fire fast fire fast. Yeah, I was thinking another island out there Oh, don't want to don't want to land there check the logs. Yes

But yeah, it would be funny if it was just the total gimmick like you can go to Cancun you can go to Hawaii or you can go to Duluth, Minnesota Winters up there. Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna do it. Yeah, I'm down. I mean if I can take time off Why don't we just do it ourselves? Why don't we just spin a globe and send you somewhere? What about grit week mystery flight? Yeah, just spin the globe. We spin the globe and we put you on a flight somewhere I'll go with you Okay, it would actually be pretty fun. Yeah, you want to do it sure somewhere in the US Worldwide mr. Worldwide do a weekend. Do the flights leave from the US or oh just a weekend

Kwanis, I think we're not going for over CZ. Well, it's content. Yeah, that's true It is content Billy Billy would you show up to the airport with like six cases of course life Like what was I not supposed to do that? It also be hilarious if you got in the flight and the mystery flight was once it takes off mystery the pickup artist Just came stole everybody's girl. Yes He's got those 40 magic tricks ready to go fuck your wife in front. Yeah, I like that All right, PFT your hot seat cool to rock. Okay. My hot seat is Jimmy Graham Jimmy Graham is on the hot seat my Washington football team just signed a collegiate basketball player to play tight end

He's never played football before saw this. His name is Samus Reyes Great name. That is a great name shady Reyes. He's six six 260 runs a four six five. He's Nino Gronk. He's he's the baby Gronk The next baby Gronk and he's from Chile too Adam Shaheen is the next baby Gronk. He uh, he played at Tulane and This is a guy that immediately in my mind He's already a Hall of Famer. Mm-hmm It's like this guy is going to be the diamond the rough that turns around the entire for him into Hall of Famer than Julian Edelman right now

The odds are about equal in my brain But every every franchise every fan has to have that guy that they sign that they put like all the hopes on Uh-huh because there's this like air of mystery behind them. Yes, and right now. This is my guy He seems cool. He seems like I saw him catch passes and shorts Done and drop them done. I'm all in done My cool throne is Bill's mafia. Yeah, Bill's mafia. They just announced today. Congratulations Buffalo Bill's fans It's gonna be full house next year. Mm-hmm. You're gonna have to be vaccinated, but it's gonna be full house I

Actually think that just spending time in Buffalo attending Bill's games if you can show that you've attended 30 Bill's games in your life. You're probably immune to every disease known to man They should give a vaccine. They should have the vaccine out of uh, pinto ron's uh, bowling ball out of the bowling ball You just drink it. Yeah, people would everyone in Buffalo would be vaccinated yesterday You just fill up a ketchup bottle. Have somebody say on top of van and squirt it down on it I think that they would yes, it would absolutely 100% Make sure to wipe your dildos off with sanitizing wipes before you throw them. But I'm very excited. We saw I think it was like

20,000 Bill's fans in the stands for the playoffs this year. It sounded like it. It felt like a full house. Yes So I'm very pumped for Bill's fans. Um, all right. My hot seat is our nuggets. Remember we were nuggets podcast last year for like a minute. Mm-hmm So Jamal Murray tours ACL. Yeah, it sucks. So the nuggets are Cooked and that does suck because Uh, they actually were like one of those teams like oh, maybe if they get a nice run going Uh, makes it a little bit easier for LeBron makes me a little more bummed out. I also just love joe kitch So that sucks. Uh, so we're gonna be jazz fans now

same team We got to figure out. Yeah, I don't know who Who in the west do we root for the blazers the blazers? They technically swept the Lakers last year Yeah, the blazers. I don't know Uh, who we can't be clippers. Fuck the clippers, right? I like I I'm gonna cast my lot with the blazers I like game I like cj. I just I I love I love cj And I love how the blazers play, but I just don't know. Ooh

We could be suns guys suns. Yeah suns guys frank commensky We could be suns guys that might be the bonding We need to find out because the nuggets were definitely The team that we were gonna probably root for to beat the Lakers now. We have to find a new team So this is gonna be tough. I'm I'm okay with jumping on the suns bandwagon. Yeah, I think because also the jerseys are sick Yeah, uh reminds you of the old days dan marley. Yeah, we kevin johnson much like the suns We routinely as a podcast get our dicks sucked together. Mm-hmm like all these things. That's our pregame routine. Yeah Right jake

Of course Uh, okay. Nobody's just said of course. I don't think he was listening I was listening to the suns and yeah, yeah, you don't know what you just don't know what you just said, okay No, oh my god, you're gonna have to clip that you have no idea Pretty much the worst thing you could have looked at backup pot two cool thrones They know I'm last in line. So I was kind of all over the place Oh, it's not the only time you're last in line. If you know what I'm saying what we're talking about Of course

Oh, fuck All right, my cool throne is uh baseball because we do officially I'm ready to call it ronald lakunia fully the face of face of baseball already and maybe So I think ronald lakunia is the face. I think shohei otani I don't know what he would be the ass the the farms The probably the arms the arms of baseball one soto probably the the quads Yeah, yeah odds of baseball. I just think ronald lakunia like did you see what he did? so he did the obviously the the

On sunday when he beat out the very routine infield hit to shortstop and then last night he scored tagging up from third On a pop-up to the second baseman in like shallow outfield. Yeah, was that the that wasn't the infield fly rule, right? No, no, no, no. Yeah, it was pretty sweet. It was awesome. The dude is insanely fast He's everything that I was told billy hamilton would be and he's doing the uh Like he's he fucks around with guys, you know, like hits him in the nuts hits him in the face It's there that we need that's part of it. So you gotta have fun I think it also matters the uniform that he's wearing when he's wearing the throwback the hanky iron one

That at that point he is the face of baseball when he's wearing the normal braves uniform I don't know and I grew up watching the braves and loving the braves when I was like a little kid and they were always on tbs So I always have a soft spot for those like mid early 90s braves But those jerseys it's tough to be the face of baseball on those jerseys for whatever reason The and he also has uh, which I love I if I if I were in major league baseball, I would always have this the sliding mitt I fucking love the sliding mitt. I it's gotta give you an extra. What like two or three inches I I was gonna say it's probably like a full second. It's crazy. No, it not only protects you and lets you reach out further

I think it actually makes you faster. Yeah, it's awesome. I love the sliding mitt. All right, billy hot seat cool throne Um, my hot seat humans, uh, there was like a real life black mirror episode with a robot running around new york That was like working for the government. What it's like. Yeah, it's a cop robot. Yeah cop robot robot robot dog Robo dog cop. Do you respect that robot? What would you do if you saw that? I'm not down with robots. Okay. Yeah, interesting Uh, even if he's wearing the badge big corporation. My cool throne Is number one kind. Wow. Are you saying all canines are bad? No, just the robo ones Wow, I'm bored Cool throne because now I think he's gonna end up getting into the hall of fame. He gets a boost. Yeah, he gets a boost

Yeah, uh, and then my other cool throne is shack because he bought a dude an engagement ring nice in a jeweler and uh Doesn't that mean that technically shacks marrying the Because you have to run. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe I don't think that's how it works Uh julio urias. He should be the chin of baseball. Oh, I like that. I like that. Max shares is the eyes. Yep Um, all right, that was good billy Thank you

Jake last as always Yeah, slurping up getting slurped last of course. Uh, the hot seat is the uh You still don't know. No, I wasn't listening. I'll be honest We're gonna You thought I want to tell you about blind people last week was bad I want to share what you said, but I think it's better if you find out for yourself tomorrow You need a whole night to think the worst things and then it's gonna be twice as worse. That's what you think. Yep I'll be all right. You do go last though

Hot Yes, or no. Hot seat is the uh, Arkansas pine bluff women's softball team Yeah, north good thing you looked up back That was my fuck. I forgot I had that right north texas women's softball hope trap one through a perfect game All 21 strikeouts first time in college history. Okay. That's sick. Pretty cool. Good job, Jake. Um, and then cool throne Jenny finch. Yeah, big time. Uh, cool throne our fans of sweet life of zack and cody and home alone because McCulloch hulken and london tipton had a kid. Whoa friend of song. Uh, jake, are you finished? Complete

Nice This is the best episode ever I've never wanted to end. I want to stay inside of this episode. I just accidentally spit some of the water So I swallowed it Was it was that good for you jake? You just answer it was it of course. Okay. Yeah, nice. You want a cigarette? never Disgusting a little less stress now that you were able to get those last two hot sequel thrones. Yep. Yeah, I could feel it I could see it in your face. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you just got to throw out the blueprint and just

String one the other put your hands behind your back and just you know what you just open your mouth and you see what comes out Let it let it go. I'm catching on here. But yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, all right Let's get to our interview with bill burr before we do that pft. You had a quick word from our friends at Universal pictures universal. Well, yeah, this is actually a movie. I'm very excited about seeing you guys are probably already excited about seeing it It's nobody. Nobody is a story of hutch manzell played by the beloved bob odinkirk We love bob odinkirk better call Saul awesome Breaking bad awesome mr. Show awesome. I actually I actually was tried to watch this movie on friday, but it wasn't out yet I'm not even wait. Is that a cap you cap. Well, no, it's not okay. All right. Forget it. I'm

I tried it's a big over extended. It's a big cap party I'll allow that as a cap you capped yourself You're like, I think you told yourself it was out You probably read cap somewhere. I don't know but hutch is a suburban guy that nobody pays much attention to He's a clock puncher. He's a boring dab dad type Underestimated and he's overlooked Then one night two thieves break into his family's house and the guy just freezes He fails to protect his wife and kids

He becomes the laughing stock of a whole neighborhood and at his job But this is a classic case of picking on the wrong guy It turns out this guy's normal suburban life is just a front The long dormant rage in him finally boils over Activates a dark past that he fought to bury all hell breaks loose What follows is so damn fun to watch a full revenge tour with crazy action dark humor and bob odenkirk kicking every single ass as he sees Nobody is going to underestimate this guy ever again. You know what i'm thinking This might be my first movie back in a theater

Yes, I I think that this is the one I've been looking forward to for a while Odenkirk is of course the guy from better call Saul and breaking bad He used to write for snl got to start as a comedy writer He trained for over a year to get into shape for this role It couldn't be more satisfying to watch him kick ass Nobody's from producer kelly mccormick and david leech the filmmakers behind hobs and Shaw deadpool 2 and atomic blonde Nobody is directed by ilia nashuler from a script by writer derrick colestad the narrative architect of the john wick franchise I hope bow bands in this one too the filmmaking team is known for kick-ass action over the top fight choreography and bold visuals

The film also co-stars the incredible connie nielsen legendary emmy award winner christopher loyde and multi hyphenated music musician actor The rizza in theaters now and it's on demand april 16th and now here he is bill burr Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend recurring guest It is bill burr. He is getting back out on the road july 2nd. It starts Finally, we have comedians returning to uh all of the arenas and places Where we can actually sit and watch comedy. It feels good to be back Las vegas is where it starts. It's going all the way till december 30th in phoenix, arizona

indianapolis, atlanta minnesota Kansas city pennsylvania atlantic city all those places On the way, uh, it's great to see you and it's great that we're actually announcing that you're going to be back on the road I'm so excited that we actually have a little return to normalcy Which which stop are you most excited for because I know you love arenas and different like venues Dude, i'm just so happy to do stand up inside again Like I this has been such like It's you know, it's been horrible for so many people

Obviously losing jobs and losing loved ones and stuff But like the one thing that has been kind of fun Is I kind of learned how to do hell rooms again. Like I I Had that muscle memory still in me. It took a minute, but like I can like I did a gig for the comedy store Um right outside the rose bowl, you know, I got the golf course So they had like 700 cars and you could maybe hear like like 20 people

And it's just and all the headlights were on It was the most bizarre. It was really bizarre. But I guess, you know, my buddy was walking around saying everybody in the cars was laughing But that's the kind of thing like a year ago Whatever whatever the hell this shit started if I went right from a theater to that I would have been on my heels. I would have imploded. I I would have abandoned my act and And just done but I was able to kind of stay in the The pocket of it because there was a few people in pickup trucks sitting in the beds of their truck So it's just sort of playing off to them as I just looked

Into this abyss Did they at least have the courtesy to like flash their high beams at you when they were laughing? Yeah, yeah, they do that honking's a bad idea We thought honking was a good thing at first, but then it becomes a it's sort of like automotive heckling after a while. So Yeah So I I did a gig down Hermosa beach recently That was fun

Like the two days before the friggin clan did their rally down there Which is always, you know, it's funny how people perceive LA it's just, you know, the idiots in hollywood are always running their yaps and they have big platforms So people think that that's what's out here And it's just like 20 minutes from that liberal lunatic Is somebody with a clan hood. Yeah, you open for the clan. That's what you're saying. I I was sort of on the clan weekend I was we eased in we eased in I had sort of the white supremacist arian

I mean, that's that's also kind of tough for you as a uh, as a fair skinned individual to be performing outside all year Like you probably ran through some sunscreen night though It's at night, but yeah, that's it's the reason I don't golf Um, it's the reason I always try to get baseball tickets under an overhang or any sports Um, yeah, the sun does not like me Have you been to a game since like they started letting fans back because I know you love going to games And we we we told this story last time you're on but pretty much the last game that was a normal Uh fans was the lsu Clemson

National championship where we were sitting like two two rows away from you for the whole entire time without realizing it I know and if there was pandemic seating, I probably would have saw you as I was walking down the aisle like right Hey Um, yeah, that's crazy, right and I I can't believe I didn't get it and I didn't catch covid Considering right before the the s hit the fan there. I was I was In the uh super dome just jam packed with people Um, so anyway, I got I just got the second vaccine shot yesterday, um

Didn't get sick either time just had like a sore arm felt a little weird for a couple hours and then I was good Are you gonna do that all of this shit that people are saying about that johnson and johnson thing? Yeah, I love those six out of a million Six out of a million and people freak out, but they still play the lottery like they like those odds. They'll still vape Yeah, I mean cigar smokers. They're like, yeah, you know, you're not inhaling it. Yeah, you're fine. They're just smoking like two a day You know what it is when they rolled out the and even then just because six people got it, you know Uh had these bleeds or whatever they still recalled it like that's how safe It is how many crown victorious with the gas station and uh gas tank in the wrong area burn people alive when they got uh Rearrended before they finally moved that thing. So I just want them to be like from the people that cured polio

And every other plague before this. Well, yeah people who saved you from your rupture appendix comes Yeah, you can say that they cured polio, but in the same breath you have to mention that the johnson family also owns the jets So not everything that they touch turns to gold true. Listen, if I learn anything in life, everybody's a little flawed That's true. I it is funny that you bring that up because I uh Like the initial reaction when I see it. I haven't gotten the vaccine yet But I was planning on getting johnson and johnson. I'm like, oh, maybe I won't get that one And then like my uh car like two years ago. They sent me something in the mail being like, hey, we recall the piece You got to bring it in asap and I was like fuck that. I'm not bringing it in

I'm just gonna try to keep driving this thing It's very stupid. We are very stupid people. Well, it's it's I I am a firm believer that they they should There should no longer be 24 hour news networks Because just the sheer Panic of having to fill up all that time. It's what happened to espn When espn espn was the dream We can imagine if they had a 24 hour sports network and then they did and they actually used to show sports and stuff The whole day they would show random stuff during the day from around the world

It was like mtv. They used to show music, right? Then I don't know what happened. They just they expanded espn two the college one and whatever the hell that one is And then I think with with streaming services and the internet now everybody just has to scream like chicken little and act like the sky is falling over everything That um, I I just find that cnn and fox news. They they should be tried for treason All they do is divide the locker room. I agree with that. Yeah Yeah, republicans and democrats could you know have Debates, but it didn't it didn't go the way it's going now. It's just it's insane. Do you know what do you know what happened at espn?

Magnus von magnuson retired because I remember that was always the thing the world's strongest men They would put on world's strongest men for like 10 hours a day all day during the day and that was the best you just watch they have pool sharks on Yeah, you just soda fats and willy moscow knee. I love that stuff Yeah, you just watch a fucking huge ass dude lift a rock and put it up on like a uh, you know A pedestal and that's way better than a debate show that debates the same thing over and over they also had Uh, sort of weird aerobic shows. Yes during the day. There was a guy. I remember with black curly hair He'd be on the beach

And then there was one, uh, body. I want to say like body shaping Yeah, body shaping. There was like one of those brook bark type chicks like the hot chick doing the You just sit there like eating chips just watching her doing. Yeah That was my first experience being horny. Yeah, I was like five years old watching body shaping before kindergarten I was like, I don't know why but I really like this show. Yeah, I'm a body shaper You know where they really lost their way body shaper. Yeah, they lost their way when they canceled playmakers Did you ever watch playmakers? I vaguely remember that I just used to like to watch the games and then I love sports center

and I loved when they would throw their jokes in and and um You know berman, of course with all the nicknames and stuff It was sort of like like right through the 90s sort of the mid 90s the 80s into the 90s. It was Unbelievable. It was the greatest channel. I would I would watch sports center on a loop I would watch the same one like five times in a row like my favorite episode of Seinfeld Well, and it would it ruined it the thing that really ruined it and it's not ESPN's fault is that you basically can get all the highlights right away because I We were kind of talking about the same thing but like as children of the 90s

pft and I Sports center was like, oh, I want to watch the highlight. You can't there's no package You don't get to watch every game you watch sports center. You get to see everything It was appointment television for that exact reason Yeah, and ESPN killed the this weekend baseball type shows Yeah, because for the most part all you would get is a boston fan I get the red socks and maybe some Game that mattered if we want to race with the Yankees or the brewers when they were in our division back in the day

You get a little bit of those highlights But like I used to watch like inside the NFL Yeah inside stuff NBA inside stuff with your mother shot this weekend baseball Then hockey's always like the ugly duckling like they they kept trying to have like, you know those I'm sure they had them up in canada, but um, and I remember how insane it was Like when I first started doing the road I used to sit mainly in the outfield Because most of the highlights that mel Allen was showing were home runs like when I went to the king dome

I remember how they used to hit a home run You see those people running along that that little aisle. Yes that ran parallel to the outfield I was like, I want to do that like Ken Griffey jr. We're still in center field back then So I went to a lot of those ones before they uh, they tore him down, but Anyway, somehow we got to that that's good though in a sports show It went from the vaccine to talking about the king dome other sports reporters where you had john saunders mitch album and like uh, Mike lupica usually just they would just sit around compete to see who could tell the oldest story

Yeah, like who remembers the oldest thing in this room, but their opinions were like gospel for some stupid reason It was kind of before anyone, you know I mean obviously I think it's better now that everyone fans are a lot smarter Numbers all these things, but you'd sit there and watch these old guys and be like, yeah, you know what like he Muhammad Ali is it's Muhammad Ali number one and secretary at number two for greatest athletes of all time Do you think we're smarter as fans? We definitely have access to more information, but Yeah, the the problem the thing is whatever you're working with Is what you're working with and like you whatever brain you were given

So if you're a moron you can read as many books Yeah, I actually think like to a certain certain point Overloading dumb people with a lot of statistics makes them dumber It just makes them more confident in their ideas and their conclusions. They were going to reach anyways Yeah, you know what my favorite thing is is when a dumb person takes mushrooms And then they when they after their trip, they feel like they're smarter and they try to explain the universe to you It's it's just like Yeah, you you you you're not smarter. You're just a dumb guy that was tripping. Yeah, I feel very seen right now

um, you should listen to my podcast I think I think fans are So it's an interesting question because I think fans have more tools. They have more Information, but I also think that what's happened with sports and we talk about this all the time, but You like forget that it's sports and you forget like the human nature of it So it becomes a number and it becomes the alabama ucla game was a perfect example where we were joking about it You know, we had nado tsan before uh the game and he's talking about how there's a four point line And they don't if you shoot a mid-range jump shot in practice

It's only worth one point and then what happens is alabama They lose the game on the free throw line, which is a mid-range jumper and ucla hits a bunch of mid-range shots And it's like, oh, yeah So I think his way probably will work overall like if you do it forever It will eventually win out But yeah in a one-game situation It probably hurt them a little bit that they never practice mid-range jumpers the fundamentals That's interesting. You know, it's funny. I actually um

My pick to win at all and I didn't watch any college hoop I just I just picked michigan just because I got used to have family out there my grandparents Um, so I picked them and it didn't work out. So I lost money to versi my buddy So he picked Gonzaga, right? So when they were playing baler I saw metta world peace and metta world peace gave me the heads up He was doing commentary and he goes I feel like in this matchup That baler is the hip hop team

And and Gonzaga is the rock and roll team and I was like, I know what that means I know what that means Not bad on these white boys even though Gonzaga wasn't really a white team. I knew what he was talking and then I looked at uh At uh, uh, baler and they had like three guys that were built like a young larry johnson. I was just like All right f this and I put like 50 bucks. I can you swear on this? You can't say bitch. I was wondering why you said s out of You know what half of it is I didn't know the other half is I got kids now and they they get on me

Yeah, so I was actually gonna ask you about Gonzaga because I feel like that That was a game that probably drew your attention Especially to timmy the guy that had the mustache asked me about my green smoothie because i'm an old man No, that's you're just hollywood bill. That was expected. I was wondering why you weren't drinking your drinks earlier Yeah, we've had you on for so many years that we've we've seen the transition where you gave up drinking like two years ago We just expect this now. Mm-hmm. You're in your yoga studio right now, which looks lovely 7 30 to midnight of the hardest hours of my day But sitting there alone with my own thoughts when it came to uh drew timmy and his mustache Did you see him doing the stash celebration?

When they were losing by 15 points because I watched that and I actually thought in that moment If bill burr is watching this he is fucking pissed off right now on his television. Yeah, see that guy celebrate He had the fu man shoe when he dunks he'll go like this and they were down by 15 points In the second half and he was going he was doing the stash celebration He would probably argue that that gets me into my game. That's part of my my ritual like nomar with the gloves and stuff I don't know. I have no idea, but I will yeah, that is weird like wrong emotional Like that happens so much in football. Yeah a corner will you know

Lay out a receiver or something like that or do something after two touchdowns have already been thrown on his side of the field They're down by like 21. They're not going to win the game But they know I think that they they've learned They're they're hollywood now. I think athletes of hollywood. They know that this is going to be on sports center So if I if I score a bucket or a touchdown add a little put a little mustard on it do a little dance I got a bigger chance of uh Getting a little I don't know Yeah, yeah, um

We had this uh debate on the show today and we have to ask you is julian edelman a hall of famer Oh god, I can't tell you last time I look at stats. I will say that's better. That's better That's better that you didn't look at stats. I'll say this about him Whenever we needed a first down Whenever we needed a big place somehow that guy got open and I would say that catch that he had against uh, Atlanta When he split those two corners and caught it like an eighth of an inch off the turf

Is I would I would sorry. It's my phone. I would put that arguably You know one of the greatest super old catches of all time my man I'm thinking only the lin swan one just because it's a classic degree of difficulty. Um I mean I look at him like he was on the the modern-day Steelers of the 70s And he was our swan or stalwart and both of those guys are in um I know a lot. I don't know what his career numbers are. I I saw them quickly yesterday

I think you'd need at least like What like five figures in the ten thousands or whatever? But um, I don't know he had a ton of playoff yardage I don't care man. The guys won three. He gave us three super balls. I hope he I put him in there There you go. I'm going to can't and I've seen a lot of people in there that I couldn't got believe got in there So maybe yeah, all right. We I mean I like it was baseball if it's baseball. They're so cunty They wouldn't put him in but I think he definitely has a shot Uh, he's got the james worthy big game james vibe. Yeah robert or robert or exactly he passes the eyeball test

We were saying earlier. He has he has a lot of moments He has a lot of like signature plays that you remember and you can't tell the story of football without telling the story of julie nettleman Yeah, I did he throw more touchdowns than walter payton. That's what I want to know He also had that he also had that ability right probably didn't throw a couple at least right Isn't it amazing that walter payton ran for all those yards never had a major knee injury or anything like that Yet somehow those kangaroo turf shoes went out of business. Yeah Yes, it's true because that's like that should be Like the um, what were the other shoes that someone the jump soles. No, no, I'm trying to think of there was someone

grand hill Almost lost his career wearing phila. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he did Derek rose took took down adidas for us for a minute there because it was like he kept on getting ankle injuries And he was adidas like number one athlete and zine williamson tank night nike stock by like three percent Two years ago when he stepped out of his shoe. Yes. Yes single-handedly did that. Yeah Uh bill I I have to tell you I watched your performance on saturday night live a few months ago And it was awesome It was it was one of those things were like

Everybody on the internet felt strongly about it one way or the other And I know that you kind of you have to have like a little bit of a chip on your shoulder sometimes when you go on stage Because I saw that you made fun of k-pop the other day and when you go at bts. That's like the worst fan base I don't know what k-pop is it was like bts and the uh the korean pop bands I made fun of them. Yeah. Yeah You gotta understand that making fun of shit is my job. I don't even remember the stuff I don't even remember half the stuff that I say I do a podcast by myself no guess So I just I'm looking at news. I just I make fun of

Everything right. No, I get I'm just saying like going after k-pop is you do have a death wish if you do that They're by far like the strongest fandom on the internet. Did I go did I do that recently? I think I think you said made like an off-handed remark at the grammy's This is the best this is the best because you you are uh, like kind of impervious. No, no, no, no I would I introduced the latino And like in classical music. Yeah, and you got like the internet tried to cancel you and you just don't even respond Which I think is they actually didn't it was actually a bunch of people who was saying they were sick of cancel culture that was keeping So you're trending for the this we this actually goes back to the julian edelman

I actually wasn't trending. They were just using me as a way so everybody could talk act like They had a mohawk and this they don't give a fuck about cancel culture, man I don't pay attention to any of it. Um, um, I uh, I tweet about game. I'll tweet if i'm watching a game Yep, and I'll uh You know, I'll write something self deprecating but other than that. I don't really post videos It just creeps me out when it goes. Can we have access to your? You know pictures and videos. It's like forever. Are you gonna be like Like I don't know. I just feel like there's always this fine print to that stuff. So

um But you know, I just I ignore all of that shit because I know where my heart is I'm not really if I really said something malicious and and and meant it like Trying to hurt somebody I I would be on social media following it. But if it's just You know the silliness of that and then then there's a bunch of women on there that are giving like regular rationally minded feminists like my wife a bad name They'll see it not even know what it is. This one woman rose the funniest shit ever

She goes this is why all white men need to be white males need to be kept in cages That was one of my favorite It's like, you know, if I said some shit like that. Yeah, but that's funny I actually I think we need to laugh more about shit like that like that. I definitely think it's funny, but it's like My thing is the only reason why I'm kind of teasing her a little bit is like if I said that the exact same thing And just substitute male for female then I would be She she would try to ruin my career, but like I don't know. I do find it funny

White women talking about like how like acting like they are so oppressed When you you see like they they can really kind of do whatever they want. They can kind of say whatever they want because uh If you don't don't fit the narrative Yeah, like which is essentially what these jerk-offs are paying attention to like You know as they sit there, you know, we're looking for people that in positions of power that are abusing it Yeah, and it's like yeah, unless they have a vagina. They have a vagina. They can kind of do like they can be this big asshole ever You don't care. Oh, that's not true. I have a friend of mine got canceled for a fucking analogy Who's that?

I don't want to say the name because I don't like digging it back up. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair He's got to go in again. I don't want to pick the scab, but it's just one of those things like I kind of proven her point here I think though that you like as a whole we should all just laugh about everything like that person if someone says Oh, yeah, all white men deserve to be in cages. I should be like that's that's the greatest parody of all time Like that's hilarious. You know when you want to say like laughing about stuff. I remember one time Speaking of the clan speaking of the clan. That's a great clip right there cut that out bill bird today speaking of the clan I

I mean one time there was this clip on the internet and They were marching down the street and there was some guy walking parallel to them along the sidewalk playing a tuba in playing like It just made them look Like the complete jerk offs that they are and it was like I feel like that type of thing

Combats it so much more than yelling and screaming And I shouldn't even said those fucking jerk offs because that will get there back up and digging more But like if you just sort of laughed More at stuff like that. I think it's that it just You there's no like I mean No, I don't know. Maybe I'm probably I'm probably always satisfying this I think to to make sense is it's like a little bit of an oversimplification But what you're saying I think is true

Where it's like if you see people that you don't like yelling at somebody There are certain subsets of people that are going to be like I'm going to join that side because the people I already don't like are mad at them You know they see that as their home Whereas if you're just making fun of them It it kind of takes all the allure out of anybody wanting to join that side out of like, you know being uh Like giving a big fuck you to the people they already don't like. Yeah, I think uh, yeah people are really complex and it doesn't take much for people

To see something that triggers some from their childhood and then they're just going to be a contrarian for fucking contrarian's sake I will tell you that that you know They were talking about reparations for african americans that some state or something was finally doing it And of course some white guy has to chime in he goes. Yeah, all they need is a time machine I just wish I could find that person be like this latest guy where he's literally dressed In military fatigues We've been doing nothing but blowing the troops for 20 years supported I support the troops

Hooking them up with seats announcing it to everybody supporting the troops and it's just he is in that uniform and he still Treated the way he's just like he don't need a time machine. So I wish more people could kind of uh Uh I don't there's something about human beings that like we just get on teams It's you know, rather than just taking yourself out and just looking at something and being like is this right? Right. Is this wrong? And like like those white people they go just comply. I love that one. It's just like They tried that

The relationship has been broken down and it's not their fault and they don't trust him and then it just sort of fucking escalates It's really horrible to watch and I need fucking white people That chime in and give black people advice as though they're living a white life is uh You know, that's the kind of shit where you're like, oh, I get white people wouldn't take a vaccine I understand this the the we were talking about it on monday or something totally different But we were we were basically boiling it down to like if you if you look at the internet And you look at everyone every sub-sect on the internet

It essentially boils down to people just looking for friends and they just want a community So if they find someone who has one opinion that's like theirs, they'll hop in and be like, yeah, this is our opinion now I do that. Yeah, we're all just looking for friends I I just I exist This is what I look at old trucks I watch animals killing each other, you know elk versus bear whatever I watch all of that shit um I used to watch fight videos, but I just there's just too many sucker punches. Yeah

I I hate I hate that stuff and then also, uh What's the guy's knocked out the continued hitting is just like come on you you want to fight it's over So, um, yeah, I existed a very small part of the internet and then I watch, uh Videos on uh aviation Yeah, yeah, okay. So let you want to talk aviation Last night I was watching some uh some gulf war Fighter like some dog fights that took place there. I don't know what it is about watching those things

But they get my blood going like I get I get amped up if I just watch an airplane take off off of a carrier Well, just think of how scared you get during turbulence On a southwest flight now, imagine you're in a plane and somebody's trying to shoot it out of the sky Another plane is I mean I get the there was a great, uh, this book called fly boys and George Herbert Walker the first bush told this story of like You know, he was like 19 learned how to fly and he'd go on these missions knowing every time he might not come back And you come back and your roommate didn't

And you had to like block that out and he was talking about how you would go out You'd get into these fights drop your bombs or whatever getting the dog fights and when you came back he said you'd be so In shock of what just happened like he he landed one time on an aircraft carrier And one of the higher-ups said uh, how you doing son and he opened his mouth and no words came out And he goes that's all right son go down to sickbay and he goes you go down to sickbay And they give you like two fingers of scotch or three fingers of scotch Take a belt and he goes the funny thing is is it worked?

And then it kind of brought you around and just to think to just do that once Did just do the fact that then the next day he knows this this could happen again and again and again and again and these guys were 19 years old is Um, and then you fast forward today and you see people like I don't want to wear a mask. I'm breathing my Carbon monoxide or when I'm carbon dioxide not monoxide carbon dioxide um, it's kind of funny. We've gotten uh I'm including myself like I'm pretty soft Are you a guy that that'll like compliment the pilot on a landing like casually on the way out the door?

Because I've I've always wanted to be that guy, but I'm never confident enough in judging the landing as it happens So I'm concerned when I go by it might not have been a good landing. I'm like, hey nice landing If you didn't die and they didn't break the plane It's a fucking great landing because you also don't know what they're dealing with they can be coming in at the last second You know you have enough feeling when you're coming in like sideways. They're like Yes, and you've got like 300 people And your own life on the line and you just got out I don't know how they do that the last second they turn it like this and sometimes they just

You know if the wind changes or something they got out they got a uh I don't mean I don't know shit about planes, but they got it. They got to set it down Like hard. They don't have the options that a helicopter has we should honestly clap more I know that it's always ridiculous whenever we land like when a plane No, I like I do like Why not it's incredible as we land it puts you all on the same team bill You're over here complaining about how nothing's unifying more when an entire plane gives a round of applause for a safe landing You feel like you're all in this together. All right fair enough, but I can't I will tell you this like douche chills

I actually also feel it's disrespectful to the pilot that you have You know what I mean? Would you clap if you know, jordan was just doing a shoot around? Yeah, yeah, definitely What about what about the end of movies? Yeah, what about the end of movies? I I'll clap at the end of a movie sometime if it's great I mean, yeah, if we're if we're in ridiculous turbulence Okay, and I think I'm gonna die and that guy lands it. Oh, yeah, I'm fucking Oh, I'll go nuts Have you ever clapped at a movie? But if it's a sunny fucking day

I mean, let's let's not get crazy. First of all those fucking guys By their second turn they already got it on autopilot after you started and they're up there shooting the shit They take naps up there. So clap for autopilot clap for the technology Well, you find me the person that invented it and then the person that installed it. I'll do that Okay, have you ever watched those videos where they do the sideways landing into the wind shear those videos? I feel like you would really enjoy I just watched one recently where a guy got into uh instrument weather And his pedo tube, which is what the air goes into it controls your altimeter Your vertical airspeed

and your airspeed And he was in the clouds and he forgot to put the heater on because he he flies in texas He was going across country. He didn't think to him that he iced it up. So he gets himself into if And he loses all those gauges And that's the fucking me Alarms going off and he has to remain come dude. I was sitting there I mean, I knew he lived because it was his video, but I was just sitting there like my palms were sweating I don't do well with that and I don't do well with people

Walking those trapeze people with no net like that on a wire. Do you ever saw that documentary? Yes. Yeah. Yeah I mean, I knew he survived, but like I just was like I wanted to jump out on my own skin watching that shit So I watch a lot of videos because I'm trying to get my instrument rating right now I watch a lot of videos of people, uh, you know Flying an instrument weather and stuff. It's really really fascinating Wait, so when you do get instrument rated and you land a plane with somebody else in it

Do you want them to applaud for you? No, I fly helicopters and helicopters aren't rated anyways to fly an instrument weather Um, because they're inherently unstable where a plane is stable So you'd have to have like a really expensive one that has autopilot for it to get rated and uh, I'd have to be uh making tom cruise money So what is it about watching videos like that? Because I I'm the same way. I don't like heights I don't like the man on wire documentary I I hate watching the russian bridge walking videos that are everywhere where the

What do people just climb up a structure? Yeah, I like the 15 year old kids hanging off. I hate I hate it But I watch them and I hate it while I watch it What is that like? What does that say about you that you love watching these videos that you hate? No, I don't watch them I don't watch I watched I I'm not gonna watch some kid just hanging off that or jumping from one part one building to another building I don't want to watch that but like there was I'd never heard the story Of that guy on the wire and it fascinated me and I said to myself well, I know he lives So

There's no reason to get nervous But like I'm one of those people like I don't I don't go to horror movies Because I just buy in I take the ride Every time they scare the shit out of me. I remember when Biggest one. I remember coming up was like Blair witch and there's so many people like remember who's dumb Never been scary at all. I was just like I I saw it alone on the midnight showing after I said at the laugh factory It scared the shit out of me So yeah, I I don't watch shit that I don't like I don't want to watch

I uh See on the opposite I like to watch the like if I know the plane's gonna crash I'll watch it I don't know why that's fucked up with me. I know it's fucked up with me. But like uh skydivers I watch those videos. Yeah, skydivers like I don't watch that. Yeah, I watch it as I It's probably very fucked up to admit out loud But like those things those obviously I watch more out of like the gawking and then my my internet is essentially like If you show me a puke video, I'll laugh no matter what Anytime anytime someone pukes crazy if you were actually there and you saw a guy skydive and the shoot didn't open and he bounced

That would be so fucking traumatic. Correct. Correct. But you watch it on video. I have to think that there's a little bit of There's always a price to pay Yeah, so like I feel like um You know, it's like watching porn Like I probably what I you know, watched it almost every day for like 15 years in a row I know that did psychological damage just because stuff that was like, oh my god, that's fucking horrific Under the line just keeps getting moved There and then you I found myself in the end just watching it laughing

Like looking at like tropes in porn Yeah, no, there's there's I read an article a couple I might have been a couple years ago about the team on facebook that removes Sensitive images and videos and how they all have like legit PTSD like they have They have psychological issues because they've been watching that stuff constantly I don't go seek it out. Let me let me be on the record here. I don't seek it out Hey, nobody's coming at you. No, it's coming at me when it's like I'll be watching like a skydive thing

And it will be like on instagram like do you want this sensitive info? You know, you know how it has the warning I always like give it to me. Give it to me. I want it. Give it to me What I do Is then I look at the comments and if I see one that says, yeah, that dude's dead. I don't watch it. That's smart Yes, yeah, I usually watch that shit. So I used to watch like I remember distinctly going on vacation one time And they had the faces of death videos in the house that we were renting and we put it in And it was it was tough to get through And I even like to this day

I can remember every single thing that I saw and yeah, it does fuck with you to a certain extent Yeah, we rented that at the before there was a blockbuster. We rented, uh, you know the local video store We rented one of those some of it was bullshit But a lot a lot of it was like I get I think real we thought it was real anyway It was fucking horrific and I remember that night my mother made lasagna and I almost puked when I saw Yeah, that's with you forever awesome meat. I was like, oh god Oh man. Um, all right. So I had one last question bill. It is the uh, roback question use code pft on roback.com for 20% off your first purchase our h o b

a c k dot com code pft They make the best performance polos and the only performance polos we wear and for you bill We're going to send you one Uh, the cubes q zip from roback is awesome. All right. So you mentioned your podcast, which I listened to is there You're rambling to yourself. Is there ever a moment where you're like, what am I doing? Like is anyone even recording this because you could at times you could probably you could probably just do it forever And never hit record and it would be therapeutic. Yeah, I always yeah, I definitely think uh Yeah, the voices are definitely going. Is this funny? Does anybody care?

There's all of that. I don't know It's incredible that you're like I always list whenever I listen to someone who does a solo podcast I'm amazed that their ability to keep the conversation going and not have it feel awkward And I'm like, man, I would it like five minutes in I'd be like But you wouldn't have to do an hour the first time you just do five It's like building a comedy act. You don't just come out like I have to do an hour You know just five minutes seven minutes nine minutes 13 you just Next thing you know people you know people write I get to read advertisements people write in questions

Um, but there's no one in the room That's the part like if there was one person in the room who was looking at you and like laughing or like nodding along That's at least something right there's times when there's just literally you're just talking to yourself So that that's what I'm thinking because when I used to do more writing I would know if I was doing a good job because sometimes I would Be able to make myself laugh and take like a little pause if I wasn't making myself laugh I was like this sucks But uh, when you're just speaking into a microphone

You don't have that opportunity just like stop and laugh at yourself or like feel that what you're doing is funny So like are there ever I laugh if I say something crazy I laugh But I also when I upload it I have a tendency to listen to the first 20 minutes almost every time So I kind of get A sense it's almost because I never listen to stand-up sets So it's kind of good. I get a sense of my pacing if I'm going too fast if uh there's things that I

felt uh You know if I was in a bad mood and something oh man, that sounds worse than the way I was thinking it Which is something you really have to watch out for You know when you're joking around is is it you got to make sure you're in sort of a happy playful mood? Yeah, because even though you're still joking it won't come off that way and uh Then you know the hairy leg chicks get all upset It is it is crazy how much the mood that you're in at that time Translates to an audience and how quickly they can pick up on that. You're absolutely right

Yeah, if you if someone's on stage having fun like the crowd We'll get into it unless they were already animals and maniacs and stuff, but uh Yeah, there's definitely There's there are things in my act that if I am in a bad mood they could take it becomes a completely different vibe The whole set just it just it just kind of feels Need a shower afterwards like the fuck happens. So uh, but with but that's something you have to learn as a comedian so I've learned that so I and when I start to feel that I can kind of stop it as it's happening now

where before You know shit when I was back in New York and I was sleeping on a futon. I had nobody in my life I gotta have like a whole week of shows like that um it's just You know when New York was a little It was different back then where you know um

I don't know New York beachy up in a different way now It's sort of becoming like uh the the dubai of uh Fucking There's just a level of money. I was always ridiculously high now. I go out there It's just like there's not even a shithole in Manhattan anymore that you can move into everything looks like these glass towers. It's I don't know where all that money's coming from. Yeah So uh going back to what you were just talking about like I kind of see that in the snl set that you did are the the opening monologue You were like smiling while saying all these things and it was fucking hilarious and I also think about your uh,

the the the lotion Joke that you did. Yeah, you're talking about how how you uh white people don't know that their skin's always itchy Because they just need lotion you had to wait until you're like 35 And then the punchline When you like close that out if you had said that with like a frown or face or like seeming angry You're right Like the crowd would have turned on you an instant but instead they were all laughing along with you Did you have to do you have to like meditate before a show?

Do you have to think happy thoughts to make sure you're projecting like uh positive energy? No, but I definitely try not to be thinking anything when I go on stage I was just talking to this from buddy about that a lot of times when I go on stage as I'm walking to the mic I'm just I'm singing a dumb song that doesn't even exist Just to empty my head. So I'm not thinking of anything so I can kind of just start like I don't know it's it's like if if I go like

I'm starting with this joke and then the joke and then I walk out there and I'm between my ears And then I'm just up there like hey, how is everybody? Do I feel like a robot? So I'll kind of like just walk up to the mic like That I did doing this again. What the fuck's wrong with me? Hey, what's up everybody? Just sort of like Just doing that. It's also a stupid song. It doesn't rhyme and I can't sing so it puts me in a stupid mood a silly mood and um Yeah, then I get into like that sort of mood and then I'm having fun. They'll have fun And then yeah, the more sort of lighthearted and silly you are

the um It kind of opens up what you can talk about Yeah, I would and then the other side is you want a nice mix of people in the crowd You know like the lotion bit it helps if it's not in front of an all-white crowd because they're not going to know What i'm talking about It has some racial vibe to it and then you know, there's people out there that don't Can't don't know the difference between a joke about race and a racist joke Um, I remember that a long time ago these idiots were in this website and they go

The reason why bill gets away with doing racist jokes is because there's so goddamn and I tell him say buddy I'm not doing right. I'm doing jokes about race. Mm-hmm. That's what I was Actually doing that joke about Going up to harlem to see the woman who's now my wife and that spoke was literally just a fish out of water And you know white guy goes up to harlem back when harlem was you know Well, uh, dan anneman used to have a joke back in the day said 96th street is the last street a white guy can legally live and then it just it changed like that so It was a joke about that but these people wrote it and they said rather than the same as about race

And that's when I was young too. So of course, I was like mortified like going. Oh my god Everyone's gonna think I'm racist now And then I learned like oh no, this is just this little dumb website And this is just a handful of people so I kind of learned that's another reason why I don't like read comments and shit like if I put something out What I do is I read until the first one that hammers me, right? And I'll be like, all right when like, you know 10 15 comments. That's pretty good for the internet. That's pretty good All right. So I think it's doing all right. Then I wait for my reps to call me

um To say like, you know, hey, you got to push that more or It's doing great or whatever. Yeah, it's like playing press your luck Yeah, I like until you hit the whammy and then close. Yeah, that's it I Craps out and I just take my money off the table. It's also it also is an impossible thing to uh tell especially people who are like Maybe just starting out in podcasting or whatever

It may be to like don't read the comments never read the comments because we all read the comments when we were starting And then eventually you get to a point where you have the confidence where you're like Hey, I don't need to read the comments all the time and that totally changes your perception But I think everyone I think they have to live through it I have a lot of empathy for younger people that are coming up with the level of just Yeah, scrutiny and just like how like Is mean as hecklers were when I came up They would nobody they would like they it wasn't the level of mean it's on the internet because you're removed. It's like

Like the shit that people will say about pro fighters It's like you would never say this if they were in the room So there is so I I really feel bad for like a lot of younger performers Because you're so young you're so you you don't have any a year at your you start to build walls like you can't fucking hurt me You know, yeah people like that and like but when I was young I was just sitting there You know head right on a tee for you to drive down the fairway And I just can't imagine these kids nowadays when they come up that this that level of uh

Like it's just people just taking their childhood out on you. Yeah, no It I actually think like it it happens at barstool sports a lot too now because I think of back to like You know eight years ago when it was it really was only like, you know 10 of us and it was a little club and it was the people who were it was a community Now we're so much bigger Someone shows up and gets hired and they're just fucking out to the wolves instantly like they just get smoked instantly I don't know how they I don't know how they come back from that creatively And you I you have such a passionate fan base that anybody knew is just gonna get like right

They have like half a second to prove themselves. I would think but you guys have been such a fun thing to watch um, my favorite thing was whenever anybody Would try to come at you guys and I thought that the whole way that they they didn't understand you guys and the whole way They just there was this really weird shift on the left Where they they became everything that they claimed the right to be these certain segments of them Where it was just like, uh, oh these are guys that are into sports And like hot chicks therefore they're this this this and this and this is all toxic My favorite thing was one that that idiot said that uh, your female ceo was there in name only yeah

Came back like I grew this business by 80% He was actually being sexist and and and once again because it didn't fit the narrative How come that guy didn't get taken out? Well, I think it all it all goes back to the fact that uh, The people that run a lot of the media companies and a lot of people that write at other media companies Just hate our boss just at like on a personal level And so then therefore everything else that happens over here is bad No matter how much they would agree with it or not agree with it, but they it's like it says a lot about you If you hate a self-made man

That that shows that you can start from nothing and still growing into what you guys are all doing over there Like there's certain people that look at that and they get inspired by it And then there's these other people I don't know what kind of people they are but they see it and they want to ruin it They want to they want to destroy it. It's uh That's that's the change that I've had at least mentally because it used to bother me so much And then I was like, you know what I'm going to keep doing what I do for the people that like it And the people who don't like it will never like it and they'll always hate me and it just is what it is

This is what I take comfort in I have two friends of mine that think the Beatles are overrated So I just look at it like if the Beatles are getting shit I'm pretty sure my truckload of shit is coming. So It just it just comes with the territory and like, you know I don't uh, I don't read it. I try not to read it. Don't respond to it. It just is It's it's sort of a new uh It's like a new sport like when frisbee football came out another new sport is just going on the internet and trying Oh, look, this guy made his dream or this woman made her dream come true. Let's see if we can uh end it

That's how I fill myself up as a human being is I try to end other people's dreams I mean, honestly, it's a lot easier to do that So I can see in the short term like yeah, you get you get a couple quick dunks off you start feeling good about yourself Yeah, yeah Why why am I not happy why I spend all day just shitting on things and and trying to pick people apart online Why am I why am I not fulfilled in my life? That's my favorite Not saying I've got life figured out because no I mean you're opening up for the clan. So there's a reason why I binge drank the way I did

It wasn't because I was a happy guy. Yeah, and now you got smoothies, but uh bill. This has been awesome We appreciate it uh Everyone go if you are in one of the cities that bill is gonna be in make sure you head out there Comedy is back bill burrs back on the road. Like I said, he's gonna start in vegas. He ends in phoenix He's gonna be hitting everywhere in between. I got red rocks red rocks is a big one Oh, hell. Yes. Hell. Yes. Go out come out to a colorado state game and then go go to the show Have you uh, have you ever performed at red rocks before?

You know, I did a um for wendy at the um comedy works Um, I did a thing where there was an animated Short festival because it isn't just like huge bands. They have like all these cool movies You can go to movie night there and stuff as far as I know So they hired her to bring some comics out to do a little bit of stand up right before these animated movies So I performed in front of a bunch of an animation fans that had no idea who I was and it didn't go well So the answer your question is yes, I have and I didn't have a good set It's a great venue though. I want to go out. I bet you the mountains are so blue in colorado. Yes. Yes, absolutely

But uh, yeah, if you guys want to go let let me know let me know. I'll hook you up. I love it. I love it Well, thank you bill. It's always a pleasure always fun to have you on and uh, good luck on the tour All right. I hope to see in person in a mask-free world. Yes. All right guys. We'll see you. Thank you bill Bill Burr was brought to you by our great friends at Raycon wireless I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm always looking at a screen now more than ever And whether you're an avid news watcher or if you're in serious need of a distraction Unplugging yourself is easier said than done One of my favorite ways to rest my eyes and still get the content that I'm itching for is by putting in my Raycon wireless earbuds

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All you have to do is just you fire off the memes. The memes are really what's the attractive. All right. I'm fine with the memes I'm I'm I'm a meme a haul just if you see somebody capping online just that part. I just yeah, I just I don't can't set I don't know it's like pornography. You just you know it when you feel it. Yeah, okay. All right, so I'll give it a Self bonking. Oh, where's our bunk? Oh, yeah, bunk yourself I just know that I know there's a You know, like as I get there up in age I'm I'm learning to just give up a little bit more When it's like, hey, this trend like the fucking

Tiktok The we walked in I walked in the office today and it was like the office is a buzz About tessa and jessa and josh and nessa and and I said listen Do it the old-fashioned way put it on mtv and I'll watch it. Mm-hmm. Otherwise. I can't follow Give me a fucking put it on bravo. I'll watch the shit out of this drama Otherwise cannot follow they got my attention because they just featured travis barker on a song That's an easy way for me if you have travis barker playing behind you It doesn't matter if you're singing if you're doing stand-up you could be delivering a eulogy

I'm gonna watch with this featuring travis barker in the song. So you're gonna watch keeping up the Kardashians bad Yeah, why not? Yeah, for sure. I'm cat. That's cat drama I'm in for the drama. Just put it on tv. I don't know how to follow travis is dating Courtney He got her name tattooed or she got his name tattooed scottistic doesn't get enough credit for being All-time villain the lord like an all remember that time he shoved uh Money into the waiter's mouth that if that happened today, he would have he might have been publicly executed

That was a fucking douche bag his douche bag gets but he knew how to play his role. Got to have you know how to play his role Uh, what are we doing? FAQs Q A's FAQs. Uh, why does pft stop wearing the cowboy hat? Everyone knows it's a good look on him Everyone did know that I thought it was a good look universal big cat was a big proponent of the cowboy hat Sometimes you just got to stop doing stuff. That's that's great life advice. Actually when I said it It sounded really profound coming out of my mouth. Yeah, stop doing sometimes just Give up on shit. Yeah, and honestly it was more of just like a distraction to get me through It was like a three week period where I was like, I just got switched something up I think you've actually done a good job though of laying the base work that when you do it now

It looks natural So like you put in the hard work so that people are like, hey cowboy hat guy So when you do it now, I wouldn't have the same reaction when I did initially where I was like, oh, I don't know This is a big change. Now. It's like it's part of your repertoire. I think the next time I wear it I'll also have the boost of like, oh shit the cowboy hat's back Right, and then that's a whole new buzz going. It's it's part of your game. You are now a five tool player running throwing

Cowboy hatting running for power stealing running for power Running for speed The efis pitch. Oh dude Zacharyk when he throws the efis, it's so electric It really is the best In the early days of pmt big cow would always say loser has to kill a debutante Whenever you guys would bet on something. What did that even mean? It was just we were coming up with stupid stakes for our bets that we were putting out every week A debutante is like a 15 year old girl who's

He was finally stepping out onto the stage as these debutante balls I said that? Yeah, so I I'll jump on this grenade for you. I think it was my I think it was my idea to say it But it was literally just because we wanted to think of the most like obnoxious dumb thing To make the stakes of our bet. It's when yeah when the um, I mean we've gotten caught in this a few times It's uh, it's the old like I'll eat my column bet that uh newspaper column this does or a radio guy This is why we have the ass eating thing like we unfortunately

Essentially just can't be okay watching other people do lame bets and be like, oh, that's a lame bet We have to be like that's a lame bet and on top of it. We will commit murder and then eat each other's asses out Would you still watch sports if you had to write a three page report for every game you watch? Signed to business Are you are you talking about like being a journalist every game? Yeah, every you had to write a three page report for every game you watch. What's on his font? uh, honestly No, that's so much work. I'd watch like a couple games

Would you watch? There's no way that you could watch think about that every nfl Everything would be a book would be tough Uh, you write about red zone counts as one game. Okay, so you're right about the the font You just basically go double space 12 and a half in you know Indent margins paragraph pair space between the paragraph was always the best move because it not only Gives you extra space, but it also you can be like it's a classy look And then you put your name in the top right corner and then give it like four extra spaces down before and then a big title

The date yeah, you gotta title your your essay. Yeah, we could do it I would do it on sundays because red zone counts as one game Red zone two counts is really just three quarters of a game when it's four games or three games in the afternoon And then the night game. So that's nine. I would write nine pages After an nfl sunday. Here's something we can do. Um Bill you're not next next fall. You you won't be in school anymore, right? So you'll have a ton of free time. Yeah, this is true. Okay, so, um I i'm not gonna make it do every game

But I wouldn't hate it if you did a three page report on monday night football every week I think that's easy, right? And then we read it on the tuesday show. We could do that. Yeah, I mean, that's not hard, bill Yeah, you could do that one one paper every single week to keep you in writing in case you want to go back to school If this whole career doesn't work out and navy seals don't come calling We'll just do that Perfect. Okay. Monday night football by Billy football is bold. Yeah So you're incorporating your name into the actual write-up. Yeah, that's true. You can space it however you want Perfect. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Perfect. I'm excited for this

Uh sup boys, especially slick willy last year. I offered billy a thousand dollars to charity for vanny's steering wheel But he declined because blake griffin would hypothetically hop in and take it for a hundred k He obviously never did Does billy hate charity or was it too much work to ship a steering wheel? You're you are using blake griffin's name for For leverage for leverage. I had this like idea that we get have this like huge auction Yeah, we talked about it on the show friends would come. We hold the keys that wanted you to do that I know but I should chop it up. I you can do that. I will get that done

I will get that done by the end of the summer. We want you to do that. No, I will get done No, you're not gonna do it. This sounds like a guy was going to yeah, you already gave up a thousand dollars Well, I didn't want to sell the steering wheel for a thousand dollars and then have to get a new steering wheel You know what? I'm actually gonna I'm gonna side with you here billy the steering wheel should be in the in the studio. Yeah, okay It's like everything else one of the good ones. Yeah, okay But let's not act like billy's actually gonna follow through and and dissect the entire van and sell it During this big head. I don't know. He said he was no, it's stump season billy's got like 17 more stumps

He has to explore that's graduation party summer. That's the problem with billy That's actually billy in a nutshell right there is he can have any assignment put in front of him And he will get distracted by something as small as a stump Oh People love the size of that stump like you are great at get you are the best person in the world at getting distracted by things It's also great that picture that uh of billy on the stump after he said it was a 90 degree day And the wet in the water was great. You look at that picture and you get cold Like there's no leaves on the trees. Yeah, or something in sewage. Yeah

Don't you come at that stump. I'm sorry the stump was nice Uh, stuff boys, especially chalk cat will jilly football ever make a return to the show Cool throw new big had all these fat filter pictures are going around so Where's the filters? Well, no, but no, you can you can kind of be like no, it's a filter No, my face is fat right now I made a huge fuck up by shaving and getting a haircut at the same time I'm gonna I didn't eat dinner last night. I need breakfast this morning What on the snake diet what I'm on a diet. That's not healthy

Well, it's how you kick starting you got to get your stomach small billy Are you really into diet culture because with big cats involved in right now? They call it omad? Yeah, one meal a day if I never eat again. I will disorder once you reach omad It's a level of intermittent fasting. It's like the ninth level Uh, yeah, and it also is disorder because the internet's mean to me. Maybe tell the internet to stop being mean to me Please stop being mean to big cat people are just like I'm I mean right now It's also this camera angle, but I'm okay with it because you know what I am fat And I need to lose some weight the camera angle like I'm not saying the camera angle is wrong

I'm saying the only way that I can look good is if the camera is literally on the ceiling There is something about your face though where Anytime you make a change to it It's going to look fat in a way But then after a few days it just becomes that's your face. You're not fat anymore It's got I got a nice double chin. It's right here. It's flopping around, but we're gonna fix it We're on omad omad omad omad one meal a day dude omad Is going to kick everyone's ass billy. You're also my fucking nutritionist. I know I don't understand what you're doing

I think you're slowing your metabolism down. So then speed it the fuck up, dude. We'll start eating more That's how you know what pizza like small Increments, why would you eat more if you're trying to lose weight billy that doesn't add up? More Frequently you're big cats. Oh mad. You're you mad. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get back on the hot dog diet I'm gonna say fuck it. I'm just gonna eat raw dogs all the time That was that that was the best that was the last time I had a legit diet that worked Just cooking a bunch of yeah, I think raw dog during the day or at night all the time

You tell you fucking cook me up a hot dog on the grill. I'll eat it. No bun No cap There you go Got it Sup dudes, what is your go-to sandwich to make at home? Pft looks like a big ham and cheese guy. Well big cat looks like a pb and j kind of guy Favorite sandwich to make at home I don't make a lot of sandwich

Usually if I'm eating a sandwich it's something that I buy because I like to treat myself to nice italian Maybe philly cheese steak, but if I'm making it at home, I usually go simple. So I'll go like pbj. That's usually my jam yet, uh peanut butter and banana or turkey My my favorite is turkey salami and then just put like an entire bag of chips in it Got to get that crunch. Is that healthy? Is that good on the diet? Yeah I mean no way is he didn't even let you did listen. Yeah, didn't you're not

You're no different than jake getting sucked off salami and an entire bag of chips Inside the sandwich and then I have another bag that's for the side chips Okay, that's that's a problem. You know what I like though about Getting sandwiches from somewhere else that I don't make myself is they're always heavier If I make a sandwich at home, it's usually like it doesn't have that same weight There's no no better feeling than leaving an italian deli and having a sandwich that's like 10 pounds Yes, you can tell that a sandwich is going to taste good. Yes based on how it feels in your hand inside the wrap It's like so true. I can never recreate like a mini baseball bat. Yes. That's when if that's when you know like i'm about to

Shout out that that uh woman online who hangs in us the clip who just fucking devours that sandwich Jake was already deeming. She was trying to see if she could come in here before the show. You're a real one Shocking shocking shocking skills, uh If you had to if you had to choose between killing jake If you had to choose between killing jake or having to share a house with 10 billies for the rest of your life What would you choose? So fast I'll kill him with my bare hands. I don't care. I would make sure that it was quick and painless

That's not no no jake. 10 billies. Yeah living with 10 billies is mean. Do you want me to do that? Yeah, okay, jake. I'll take one for the team if it were on you and the same thing was going towards me I would I would tell you to kill me. Okay. I couldn't let you up in front of it I jumped in front of a train so fast. All right. No, actually, no nitsa No I would not do that Yeah, never do that

I don't think the 10 billies would survive I think they'd eliminate each other slowly and you just end up with one. You don't think you could But it would be the strongest. It'd be the alphas billy. That's why we haven't heard it from dale in a while. Yeah, that's true What happened to dale? Did you kill dale? No, did you fuck him to death? Bunk Imagine how many reptiles would be in your house with 10 billies. Oh my god. What's up fellas? I know hank loves vacations, but when was the last time mr. Cometer and mr. Cat took a vacation? This is a question from hank. No, yeah

This is a question from hank. You're trying to get us to say how long it's been So you can be like, wow, that's a really long time. You guys should think about going on vacation This there's another really sentimental one. We'll do some zoom shows this summer. We'll take some vacations. I'm gonna I'm gonna be chast the summer. So there you go. It's it's written in the sand shows I sorry that I have a work ethic that makes me want to always Go and put out a product for the people Apologize my fault hank. Don't apologize to me. I I'm with it. I'm pro work Absolutely vacation when you're dead exactly

uh So that billy billy really wanted to jump in there and I have to hear what he has to say No, I'm actually his vacation policy as I've gotten to my age. I realized No, yeah, hold on. Let's just really I really want to respect this football. Okay I rather take vacations while I'm youthful and can do many things Right as opposed to earlier when you never took vacations before you realize Well, I've I'm not like I've been in college for the past four years and then before that I was in like high school getting football camp and stuff like two years never actually worked

But you're already ready for the vacation, right? But like did you do middle school? You get two years off or two months off in college in the summertime billy learned. Yeah, but I was like good He wants the vacation jobs You haven't worked a full job to I wouldn't I I've had like other jobs, bro You haven't cubes for one summer and I were construction like all through high school In first two summers, but you haven't even accrued the vacation hours that you know Like you have to create but like cool. Like if you went got a job, right? Uh-huh They wouldn't you couldn't take a vacation the second week technically here

You could because our vacations policy is a joke, but do we agree exactly? I agree. It's it's it's fucked up Well, honestly, people take advantage of it. I just it's not that I want to take a vacation I just want to go places. I haven't been before I said you guys take advantage of it you can go on vacation anytime you want exactly the shaming Uh, well, yeah, what we can't shame. No, you can I'm saying you can go away for a year I'll just Every show like welcome a part of my take hanks still on vacation Billy tell me about the moment when you realized in all your age and wisdom where going on vacation was cool

Well, the thing is like at some point like Like I've not been to a lot of places and I want to go there. It's not exactly for like vacation You don't want to just be an ant marching, dude. Yeah You're just a rat in a cage. Billy's been in war mode for like 17 years. Sometimes he needs a beach Sometimes people and um, this is not a slighty you billy because you're gonna probably take the first part of it as That uh, sometimes people are like billy wise billy gets to talk on the show. This is why He is he is he is ourselves when we were 22 like I love you This is what I love your your thought of like, you know what guys?

after uh, 18 years of living in my parents house and uh, you know taking every summer off and then Four years of going to college and partying my face off. I realized You know life's too short not to take some vacations You know what I want you to do, but it's not it's it's more like I just want to see place You know what? You know what you should do? We should put billy in charge of our mystery flight. Yes But we don't know Somalia billy billy plans a vacation terrible Do you take us please? No because billy wouldn't want to stay in the terrible. They'd be educational Drops on us in the middle of the amazon rainforest bro. We'd have fun rocks

Yeah, we'd have fun for dance. It wouldn't be yet like eastern europe like what the fuck's going on there Yeah, like you guys want to see the eiffel tower. I got a stump for you. That is so sick See the eiffel tower stumps better Uh, all right. Well, and with that was a wholesome one. There's another wholesome one That was not a wholesome one. That was a question from you hank. You can take a vacation wherever you want This one's not a question for me. So Sup dad cat pft and hunk you guys have already accomplished so much with pft Oh, you all seem like guys that keep wanting to do more. Oh, what's a professional goal or aspiration you have for yourself?

Hmm It's a good question Yeah, I would like a stop and spell the roses. I would like to Keep doing this I would like to um, it's not an aspiration though because I already I would like to Keep working as hard as I am so that someday billy can fulfill his dream of vacation That's my goal It's not vacationing. It's more. I just want to travel

That's very similar But even for work dude, it's not well. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we will travel again. Well, no, you're not invited. Never mind. Sorry Jake's invited. You're not you can't what if we put billy in charge of grit week? Oh my god No the grit no I mean I Let's put billy in charge of one day of grit week. How about that? All right, that's fair. Yeah, let's start with one day We will be doing grit week. We'll all go all six of us will be on the road

It's gonna be fucking great But one day of grit week you get to be in charge of we're gonna go hiking. No, see that's Okay, fine, but but like in a cool way see pft. This is probably We're gonna interview a stump I don't like I don't like to hike billy. Yeah, I like to walk Places where I'm going there for a reason. Yeah, there'll be a reason why we get there I don't want to walk places to get to a better place to walk We should send billy on chrysalons, then

You want to kill manjaro? Fuck yeah, I know you wonder boy. That's sick. Actually, we should yeah, we should have him But no you have to so we would let you climb kill manjaro, but you'd have to carry Yeah, 100 you didn't let me finish Herpes 30 pounds us 50 pounds both of us you have to carry both of us up the mountain that would be awesome You really think that you can do anything I love it This is why we have him on the show one day. I'll realize my mortality and not want a vacation Have you done laundry recently billy? Nope. It's actually the opposite way

I can tell because he's wearing the free sweatshirt and no socks And mugsy jeans they're super comfortable you have to crock you have camouflage crocs on too I'm trying to hide from Brett farm. You can't even find a pair of socks. That's what you know It's time to uh, I mentioned that the pile is like all the way back because it's all the way back And it took like two months and just saying that sentence billy like ran over and just started like grabbing shit I was like, no, that's not what I said But here he is. Anyway, uh, jake, you okay? Yeah, I'm great. We love you. Jake. Love you. Yes

We love you. Well, you know what one time, you know what next week. We'll let you go first No, I'll let you go first I was telling pft. It wasn't the uh fact that I gave into the joke It was the fact that I wasn't completely listening to you guys and I felt disrespectful It's okay. Jake. We but I was doing something for the show so You always you're working unlike our other son who's ready to vacation At the right age of 22. Have you learned the valuable lesson of needing to take a break from your job to go on vacations? Yeah, I'm taking one uh next month. Fuck. Yeah, jake. We're taking vacations this summer

First one like ever. I'm gonna be tan as fuck. Let's do it. Hank. Let's take some vacations. All right Certainly summer 30 18 99 32 8 8 8 is due Oh, I just saw eight literally popped up Lights on the bridge. You know how it it was right there. It'll happen 57 some lady bugs or males First timer Oh

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