Pardon My Take - Blake Griffin Comes In Studio To Accept His 2019 "Blake Of The Year" Award + Mt Rushmore Of "Athlete Traits You Wish You Had"

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Brooks Koepka got screwed by JB Holmes + other 2019 "Open" storylines (2:27 - 10:51). Whose back of the week including the disgusting heat in NYC, Football and Hanks fishing abilities (10:51 - 22:06). Mount Rushmore of "Athlete Traits You Wish You Had" (22:06 - 32:44). 2019 Blake Of The Year winner Blake Griffin comes in studio to talk about how he his life has changed since winning the award, NBA free agency, Chris Paul & more (32:44 - 60:07). Segments include Way To Stay Relevant Baseball a Sabermetrics for podcasters, a preposterous Take Quake involving the cast of The Office and a great Monday Reading to wrap up the show.  You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have 2019 Blake of the Year, Blake Griffin in studio. We recap Blake of the Year, we recap NBA Free Agency, his thoughts on Chris Paul getting traded, a lot of stuff. We also have Mount Rushmore of athlete traits that we would want in honor of Mariano Rivera's Cutter, and he goes to the Baseball Hall of Fame. 100% first time unanimous vote into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Who's back in the week in a Monday reading before we get to all that? Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way

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the Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Market today, and Cash App is bringing back a great initiative for AWLs. If you download the Cash App and enter the referral code Barstool, you'll receive $5 and they will donate and send $5 to one of our favorite charities, the ASPCA. Do it for the animals and be a lover. Download the Cash App today, enter code Barstool, get some money and save some animals. Okay, let's go! Download the Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Market today, and enter the referral code Barstool, get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 22nd and fuck JB Holmes. Fuck him. Fuck that guy. Brooks Kepke a little one. He ruined the open championship, not the British Open because it was in Northern Ireland

this year. Slowest player ever. Very slow and he shot an 87. So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, that's an issue. That's like if we were doing a podcast and every time it was my turn to talk, I garbled with salt water, I made you wait for me, did a rail of coke off the desk and then when I tried to talk, I just puked blood everywhere. Yeah, I mean that's JB Holmes. That's what he was doing. He shot an 87. At least speed it up a little bit. We probably buried the lead. Shane Lowry was fantastic. He won it for the nation of Ireland even though that was kind of weird that they like, you know, even Ravel was like, yeah, Shane Lowry, people didn't back him the hometown hero. It's like Northern Ireland and Ireland are not the same place.

He's from Southern Ireland. That's like the SEC country of Ireland. He's from Middle Ireland, actually. Yeah, exactly. They boil their potatoes instead of fry them down there. So he was awesome. He also shout out to him for being a fat guy and wearing it. Well, I'm always nervous when a fat guy. I liked it. That's the takeaway. Well, he did. Here's the thing. He was wearing a vest. He looked good in the vest. He's a fat guy and whenever I watch a fat guy like plague do anything, I'm saying to myself, he's going to tire eventually. Eventually, he's not going to want to keep walking around. And I thought that was going to happen on Sunday. I thought he was just going to be like, this fucking sucks. My body can't handle this. But

he was he held on the course. He's a big boy. He's got like a defensive coordinator's body. Just like, you know that he's there's an athlete inside there somewhere, but he's not trying to show everybody up by walking around with a six pack. And his caddy was like looked equally as Irish as he did. And you just assume that any time they got into trouble, they just cracked a couple of jokes and like, yeah, that's fine. We're good. Yeah. But yeah, Shane Lowry was phenomenal. The course was the true winner though. Awesome on Sunday. The course showed up when it mattered in prime time. Here are some fun stats here. The the 11th hole averaged a 4.352, which is it was a part three. It was a part three. Yeah. So yeah, say that. No, it wasn't.

The 11th was a was a par four. We average a three, five, two. No, four point three, five, four point three, five, two. Okay. Yeah. So the 11th hole dominated that, that hole won the weekend. And then the 14th hole was also pretty good. And so just I love British open courses. It looks like they just drive tanks across them and plant weird grass that their feral horses eat just in the middle of fairway. Well, the best part about the British open is you it's the one golf championship where you can watch it and you can in the back of your head, you're like, maybe I could have made that shot because half of the good shots are just hitting it somewhere and then watching it roll for 30 yards. Just insanely. Yeah, that wasn't really like it was obviously

a phenomenal shot. And I know I couldn't actually make any of those shots. But the idea of all these shots just rolling. Yeah, I can actually make a ball roll. And sometimes when you shank it in the right spot, it just feeds down to the green. Right. Yeah, you're right. It's one of those courses you look at and you're like, it rewards shitty golfers. So that's actually a pretty good spin zone of why Blake Kepke didn't win. He's too good. He's too good for the course. And JB Holmes, the slowest fucking guy in the world. But JB Holmes did it to himself. So he shot it 87. And he went, by the way, this is not to not to criticize you at all, Jake. But I needed you to have this tweet. I needed you to have this tweet. Ravel had it. JB Holmes was going to win

$718,000 if he had kept his position as third place when the day started. Yeah, he finished third to last and he won $25,000. So he lost so much money. He lost like $690,000. And he cost Kepke $700,000 as well. So that's that's tough. Yeah, it was it was kind of like an underwhelming open championship, I'd say. Yeah. And they had to move it up because of the rain. And that was it felt a little like at noon when it ended. And it really ended earlier than that because Shane Lowery ran away with it. I just I'm choosing not to believe in time zones anymore. Every major sporting event should take place to best suit whatever time zone I'm currently in. Correct. At that moment. Like I don't like an open championship, a major championship

ending before I've had lunch. Right. Right. It was felt a little too early. And should we mention Tiger because Tiger. Uh oh. Tiger. Yeah. I mean, credit to Tiger being smart enough to just not make the cut so everyone forgets he didn't make the cut and we don't talk about him on Sunday. Like, hey, Tiger really, Tiger would have gotten his ass kicked by the course on Sunday. Oh, it would have been a sad. But are we now doing I've seen this debate kind of pop up. Was the Masters a fluke? Was it a fluke? Tiger never going to be. You know what, if it's a one timer, that's fine. I have no problem. No, it was an unbelievable moment. Yeah, we had our moment. That's that's what I'm concerned about when it comes to golf.

I always find it weird how people can be individual fans of a single like golfer or race car driver. Hardcore Brooks Kepke stands. No, I would say that we're friends. No, we're like hard. We are. Yes, we are. We are Brooks Kepke. We literally started the show saying, fuck, JB. But it's always funny how like there are Phil guys out there. Yeah, like I just I just root for Phil. By the way, Phil intermittent fasting. Yeah, sucked ever since he got skinny. He is lost. The man boobs entirely. You were talking about like that dad bod that you have to have to wait. But he's no, he looks weird. Let me defend him here. Anyone who is overweight has dabbled in intermittent fasting. I tried it for a little bit because everyone basically says

you can eat whatever you want. You just can only eat for five hours a day. Yeah. Well, I tried it and I ate whatever I wanted for five hours a day. And I think I gained weight. I intermittent fasting on Friday night because I accidentally selected pickup instead of delivery on my seamless order. Brutal. So yeah, fire, first of the week. I intermittent fasted for three hours. Damn, that sucks. It was very tough. But back to Tiger. I agree with you, PFT. Like we had the master's moment. That was an unbelievable moment. That was an unbelievable sports weekend. But I think a lot of Tiger fans thought that he was going to be competitive in every single tournament after that. I just don't know if his body can he looked every bit

his age and maybe even older on Thursday when he teed off and he did the wins because of his back. Yeah. And he also did the old guy move when your dad gets old and sit in and like his bones hurt because of cold and rain when it rains, he says, my knees hurt. That's an old guy. Yeah, you can feel a storm coming. That's not good for golf screws in your neck. He has fusion surgery. Yeah. Yeah. Tiger didn't play well, but you're right. Like we don't really remember Tiger missing the cut because he didn't like flame out spectacularly. He just now we was there. We all remember Rory missing the cut because he shot a 65 on Friday and in possibly the best miscut performance of all time in the open. Here's the nice thing though with Rory. I saw them mention this a few times

over the weekend. He's from Northern Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. For the few Northern. Antonio Gates played basketball Northern Ireland guys. He when he didn't make the cut, they kept on talking about him glowingly on Saturday and Sunday because he helped get the tournament there. Yeah. So that was a big deal. Like if you if you're not going to make the cut, at least be the guy who helped get the tournament back in Northern Ireland because people will just talk about how awesome you are for the rest of the weekend. There were also three or four other guys. It was a grand McDowell. Yeah. It was a big like thank you for bringing this event to our country. Yes. Like putting Northern Ireland 51 years back on the map. Yeah. Big time on the map. Yeah. Huge. What about the guy

that was presenting the the cleric jug at the end just not having an entire bottom set of teeth. That was weird, but that was also very Irish. Very Irish. No, I liked it. Yeah. It gave a little color. I could I could kick a field goal through Shane Lowry. Big time hugger. I think he hugged everyone in Northern Ireland after that tournament. Yeah. But yeah, that was besides that, all we've had in the sports world is it's too fucking hot. It's very, very hot. I bet every over in baseball this weekend thinking that the heat would help it and it didn't. What was your logic on that? It will. I mean, the ball just goes out farther when it's hot outside. Yeah. Is that true? Yes, it is. The air is thinner. Yes. Is that true? Does the air get thinner? The ball does move

when it when everything's just hot or you don't want to make it wetter. We'll get our science department. Everything just flies out. But I think it was a dry, but it didn't happen. It was a dry heat, Hank. Not here. Not here. Not here. It wasn't. It was wet as fuck. There is nothing worse. I was telling Liam, I went to walk Stella at like 1030 on Saturday night and it was 93 degrees. Yeah, it sucks. It's the worst. You know what? It's one of the top five worst feelings in the world. Just walking outside when it's dark and hot. Yeah. I can I can deal with the sun in the day, but at nighttime, I'm stepping out there. There's no sun. It's hot. It fucks with your brain. Why Neil deGrasse Tyson? Yes. Riddle me this, riddle me that. If the sun is actually hot,

then how come it's 90 degrees when it's dark outside? Yes, bitch. I saw a guy today. I walked when I was walking in this neighborhood. A guy was just puking blood on the sidewalk and I was like, what's up? Are you okay, man? He's like, it's hot. That's just this neighborhood. Yeah. But he's just he was his answer was it's hot. I rather the heat just made him puke blood. Right. He doesn't need to go to the doctor. I'd rather be pissing blood like a normal guy instead of puking it. By the way, how's that? Thank you for everyone who reached out. I've been clear for three days. I think I'll try to get a physical, but no emergency. Let's be real. Pissing blood. If any of our listeners are pissing blood, go probably go get a check out. I'm telling Big Cat specifically,

not to get a check. I'm Charles Barkley. I know his body. I know Big Cat's body is through three years of podcasting. We know how the other person responds physically. You're fine. There's like number five on the list of physical ailments that you should get. I have a lot of other things that have been dealing with a bad elbow, some stuff. They call it blogging elbow. I texted, I was texting with Dan Heron on Friday and he, because, you know, well, no, he actually texted me because he was nervous about the blood. Yeah. Yeah. Dan Heron, big time name. But I said, I pulled the Dan Heron, not going to the doctor. And he said, yeah, the body heals itself or just pray that you die in your sleep. I mean,

that's a good spin zone. Yes. That's Dan Heron who just refused to get a new hip. I was a FaceTime with Chris Long last night. Oh, nice. And he just hit me up and he was like, Hey, I'm with a guy. Dan Heron is not a sick brag name. It's like the lowest of sick brag names. I literally got a FaceTime from Chris Long and then I didn't pick it up because I was doing other things. I was at a bar and then. Oh, wow. You're having a really nice thing. And then I saw a booze guy. Then I saw 10 minutes later that he tweeted like, nothing sucks worse than FaceTiming somebody and them not answering it. So he hit me with the suck. No, actually, you know what? That nobody else even understood. You know what? The only thing that sucks more than that is the friend who always FaceTimes.

Yes. That's the fucking worst. Well, no, you have to have one FaceTime friend. Everyone has one in the Rolodex that would rather FaceTime. Do you know that, you know, like 20 year olds, they don't text a FaceTime? That's weird. It's fucking crazy. Caleb used to do that all the time. Our co-worker Caleb, we had to get him out of that. He would just FaceTime me randomly. Like, just text me, man. Yeah. It's always like when you see the FaceTime thing come up and let's just say like you're hanging on your apartment shirtless or you're getting changed or something. You always think that they can see you even though it's just ringing. Well, they can. And I like hide my phone. I'm like, No, I'm nude. The FaceTime friend is the worst. If you are the FaceTime friend,

all your other friends hate you. Just know that. I like having one. No. Having one of them is okay. But they all hate you. They all hate the FaceTime friend. You can have one, but they all, when they get together and you're not there, they're like, Yeah, Billy keeps FaceTiming us and it's so fucking annoying. This nasty big FaceTime guy. Big FaceTime guy. Huge FaceTime guy. Which is weird because like with a nose like that, I don't think I would ever want anybody to see my face. He does that dino filter so you don't have to see his face. Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Who's back first? Hank, you decide. Let's see who's back. All right. Let's see who's back. Then why don't you start, Hank?

I got a few. The first one is shorts because of the humidity. Yes. Big, big weekend for shorts. Although weekend for bird dogs because it's like hot, but you don't want to put on. Although we went to Ruffin Rowdy in North Carolina and Hank dressed for the flight like it was the middle of winter. Sweatpants. You got to layer up on a plane. You got to get comfortable. You got to layer it up. You know I want to fall asleep. Yeah. My other who's back of the week was me because I don't know if you guys saw us over the weekend. Jeff Fisher, good friend, reoccurring guest, was in Alaska. He was out there fishing and I tweeted out of him. I said, hey coach, do you think that I could catch a fish with my bare hands in an Alaskan

river? And he said, absolutely. I would love to see it. Let's make it happen. Okay. Let's sit and Hank on a little fishing excursion with Jeff Fisher. Yes. Do you believe him now? No. I believe that Jeff Fisher can catch a fish with his bare hands. How long do you get to test a day? One day. Okay. One Alaskan day. One Alaskan day. Now define catch. Two hands. Complete the process of catch. Two hands, one knee. Catch it out of the water. Kill it. Eat it. Oh, wow. It's swimming. So you're going to murder a fish with your bare hands? Not half dead. Hell yeah. All right. You're just, yeah. I'm trying to be a bear. I'm trying to fish like a bear. Yes. The original. No, you have to eat it raw. Okay. You're going to catch a fish and suffocate it

with your bare hands. Just holding out of the water. You think that you're going to be able to hang out to like a 20 pound salmon? Just bear hug it. That's how they do it. Exactly. That's where bear hug came from. Correct. Okay. Any others? I'll tell you. All right. Those good who's back. Hank's back. Thank you. Big time. My who's back of the week is football. Yeah. Football is officially back. We've got training camp starting. We've got training camp tweet starting. We've been inundated with so many pictures of Joe Flacco and his cool hair. Reporters out in Denver can't believe that he actually has decent hair. This is the last week that we will not have a football game until 2020. Let that set in. Let that set in for the people at

home. I just peed blood into my own. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. My also all or nothing is back. So on Amazon, I was watching the story behind. Not a free ad. No, not a free ad, but it's Carolina Panthers this year. And my big takeaway so far is you get to see all of Cam Newton's outfits, which you forget just how ridiculous they get. Especially after a loss. After a lot. How jacked is McCaffrey. McCaffrey fairly jacked. Greg Olson is Greg is hamming it up for the cameras. Greg, your friend of the program. You're going to get a job, Greg. You're good looking. You knew the cameras were on the entire time and you were doing your little stories, your little jokes. You came across so fucking charming and likeable. Did you JJ Watt it?

No, no. No, he actually like came across very likable, which is what's so infuriating because he's you know, just chill out, Greg. Yeah, maybe say some dumb shit every once in a while so that everybody doesn't think that you're perfect. Well, we have the rap. Oh, yeah, we do have the rap. We'll always have the rap. We'll always have the rap. And also his foot just keeps breaking. That's just like it sucks for him. But it's like every other episode, he's dealing with a different foot injury and it's like the 10th. His foot is like less stable than let's see Rick. I only broke it once and he got surgery. I didn't need so as a fellow foot injury survivor, I can make these jokes amongst my community. Yeah, no, it's just bad foot. And then my other who's back of the week

is Devon could juice. So he is starting a crystal workshop in West Los Angeles. Nice. So if we have any West LA listeners that want to attend a crystal healing workshop with Devon could juice, you can look him up and attend and let us know how that goes. Let's see if we can get him here. Maybe give it to us live on air. Yeah, we are still gold. Yeah. Hey, Devon could juice. Let's have a little crystal session. Let's do it. I'm not talking about math. All right. My who's back similar to yours. PFT fantasy football and specifically the commissioner sending the email trying to get everyone to lock down a draft date a month and a half in advance. Yep. That is back. If you haven't gotten that yet, your commissioner is not doing his job because there's always

much like the FaceTime guy. He is my FaceTime guy. There's one guy who who is just chomping at the bit for football to be back and sends out that email is like, Hey, how what's everyone's availability on August 25th? It's like, dude, I don't know. And then you've got one guy that responds like really quickly to that email saying can't do it saying can't do the 25th at unless we do it before five p.m. Right. And then it just becomes this long email adjusting times and dates over and over just auto track. You know what it is? It is it is chain email season. Yeah. It is mass email season because you've got fancy football starting and bachelor parties that are starting to get planned. I've got to plan a bachelor party. Yeah. So that's tough. Good luck. That's tough for me.

Hopefully there'll be a lot of drugs. I feel like I feel like I want to get out in front of this because I somehow I got labeled as the drug guy in this podcast. Well, somehow I got labels that anti-vaxxer. So it happens despite the fact that I've only done MDMA once on camera. But yeah, I'm not a drug guy. I'm not. I dabble recreationally in some of the more legal drugs. It's funny because you probably smoke seven times a week that I do. Right. But you and Hank both want to tell the reason why we started the drug guy thing. The statement. I don't even remember it just came back from from Netherlands. No, no, no, no, you're like you're saying after the Hong Kong video like, oh, don't call me a drug guy. I'm not a drug guy. And then like

there's a pause and you're like, so we I'm going to leave July 1st for answer. Yes. Yeah. And when you got back from Amsterdam, you're like, have you guys ever been to a museum on mushrooms? Like what? Drug guy? The only performance enhancing drug I'm on. I use PEDs. I pray every day. There you go. All right. My other who's back is hating Greg Hardy because he had a fight on Saturday night, universally the most hated guy in the world. A ring this time. Yes, in a ring. Yes. I don't understand. So he beat the guy in 20 seconds and he licked his own blood. I don't understand why Dana White, like this can be an easy win for you. There are so many guys that can kick his ass and he keeps fighting tomato kins. I think have Francis Nganyu just

beat the fuck out of him. I think Dana just doesn't want to give him the publicity on UFC. Yeah. Steve Miochich, he'd kick his ass. Just give us someone who can beat the fuck out of Greg Hardy and the whole Internet will come together. How about just like a Royal Rumble style? You get like Lesnar, John Bones, Jones and Steve A in the ring at the same time. You know, Cormier would tap him, would make him suffer. Yeah. Yeah. So do it, Dana. I'm sick of watching Greg Hardy win. That is just sucks. It does. All right. Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Let's get it. All right. So this is in honor of Mariano Rivera being the first unanimous baseball hall-faming ductee, which is so, so funny, so, so funny that that happens because it just, it's shout out to all

the baseball writers that are just as Greg Maddox, not a hundred percent as an aspiring baseball hall of fame voter. I just want to say that I'm disgusted by it. Like nobody should ever be unanimous. Ever. You should always use that vote on like a pitcher named the gentleman curly Bill Walter. Curly long legs from 1904. Yeah. He threw, he threw 70 innings in a doubleheader. Yeah. And not a single pitch over 45 miles an hour. Okay. So in honor of Mariano Rivera and his cutter, we're doing Mount Rushmore of athlete traits. Is that what we're going to say? Yeah. Tributes. Yeah. You picked something that an athlete has that you would love to have. Who goes first? Who's our Monday first? I go first. And then it's me second. Fuck. Okay.

Thank you, Jack. Very cool. Okay. Well, I guess I will. I didn't know I was going first. All right, then I'll start. No, actually it's easy. I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive. Okay. That will be my number. Okay. A little bit of a panda, but that's fine. That's not a panda. That can lead to people's death, but that's cool. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I didn't say Michael Jordan's gambling addiction. How do you think that started? Yeah. With the fire. Hey, Hank, it's too early in the morning. Fucking dick. For all the people that are listening early. I'm just saying, if you don't think his competitive drive has something to do with that, are you talking about the aliens that he killed? Yeah, that's it. Okay. Okay. That's what he meant by that. Michael

Jordan's competitive drive. Number one. I'm going to go with Nick Full's dick. Okay. Right off the bat. I feel like that's a big steal. Like, I mean, you want to talk panda? No, I'm just saying, you want me, I'll just do Nick Full's dick. Vesante, Shanko's dick. No, you only get one. You only get one. Yeah. His dick might have some issues though. Pablo Sandoval. No, no, no, no. Pablo Sandoval. Juan Uribe. Juan Uribe's got a huge. Juan Uribe's unit. Huge dick. And I'll wind it up with Deandre Hopkins dick too. Okay. So you have Nick Full's dick. Yeah. I will go with secretariat's heart. Oh, that's a good pick. And you say in bold speed. Yeah. Two good picks. You would die though if you had secretariat's heart.

That's true. Not with that. I hope that blood so hard through your system would just explode your veins. Okay. Didn't happen for him. He's the greatest horse who ever lived. That's true. Good point. Best athlete of all time. True. True. PFT. Okay. My second one, I'm going to go with Sierra did the heart thing. I'm going to go Danny Woodhead's heart. Okay. Interesting. Strike that. No, no, no. I think that counts. Okay. Yeah. I was just going to switch it to grit, but I'll go with heart. His heart. Danny Woodhead's heart. He's got a big heart. He's got a big heart. Yeah. Okay. He's the secretariat of running backs. I will go with my second pick. I'll go with Tony Gwynne's eyes. Ability to not strike out. You don't think they're

decomposed? Okay. I mean, secretariat's dead. Oh, yeah. Good point. All right. So I actually friend of the program, Ryan Spader, Ace Spader. If you don't follow him, he's got like the best stats ever. So I just want to throw out a couple of Tony Gwynne stats because they're always fun to talk about. Tony Gwynne would have to go 0 for 1183 to dip below 300 all time. That's insane. Okay. Early, early PMT. Remember we did fake Tony Gwynne stats that people believed in. If you don't go down a rabbit hole of Tony Gwynne stats and again, the Ace of Spader on Twitter has the best. It's unbelievable. 323 played appearances against Maddox, Glavin, Smoltz, Pedro. He batted 373 with three strikeouts. His, uh, he never struck out looking more than nine

times in a season. He had more four hit games, 45 than multi-strikeout games, 34. And, uh, his career batting average, 338 is better than eight of the last nine NL batting champs. So that's just one season that they had, they won the NL batting title. He had a better career and in 1987, he could have gone 0 for 56 in addition to his season and he still would have won the batting title. And he was going to hit 400 in the strike shorten season. Yeah. He, I mean, if you, I'm telling you, go down. He never, yeah, he, he is incredible. If you go down all the, the, uh, he had one, three strikeout game in his entire career, all time, one guy to all time, big old butt. So his vision. All right. My, that's my, uh, number two, I'll go number three. I'll go Kareem Skyhook.

It's a six shot. Unblockable. It's a six shot. Unblockable. The unblockable shot. I mean, if you, if you specialize in it, you can make one happen. Listen, I, it's like all I try now. Whenever I have a basketball on my hand, I just take Skyhooks because it's like, this is the only thing I could probably still maybe do. Yeah. And, uh, I can't. It's funny, like unless you have Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's exact body type, right? So unless you're Dalsim, uh, then you look like a weirdo when you're doing the Skyhooks. So even the kid at Michigan this year that was working on, that was really good at it. Right. He still looked awkward as fuck when he was doing it because it's not Kareem. Unblockable. Uh, all right. PFT. What do you got?

So for my third pick, I'm going, wait, did you, you just did two? Yeah, I did two. Tony Gwinn's eyes or ability to not strike out and, uh, Kareem's Skyhook. Okay. I'm going to go with Marshawn Lynch's stiff arm. Okay. Okay. Specifically the one from the Beast Quake on, on Tracy Porter. Yep. Yep. I will go with Pat Mahomes arm. Ooh. So you didn't want to go, Tom Brady, like Marino, Elway, Jamarcus Russell. I'm just, I'm just throwing this out there. Josh Allen. I'm not saying it's a wrong answer. Dan Marino is like a billion years old. Oh, never, I never saw him play. I never saw him play. That's fair, that's fair. Odell Beckham. I never saw John Elley play either. Odell threw the ball like 90 yards.

That's sad. That, that's sad. What you just said. Only thing I know from Dan Marino is the conversation he had in the band. Yeah. Uh, if you want to talk about crazy stats, look up Dan Marino's last game ever, maybe the worst quarterback performance of all time. That game that they lost like 70 to nothing against the Jags in the playoffs. Be real shame. I also feel like a modern medicine and shit. Mahomes probably has a stronger arm. Yeah. No, no, no, it's, it's fair. I wrote down arms, but I actually wrote down like three arms because I couldn't decide on my last one. I will go with Ken Griffey Jr. swing. Oh, that's good. Hey, yeah, that's good. I had that on my list here. That's good. Do you think kids these days

like are familiar with King Griffey Jr. swing? Yeah. Yeah. Probably not. No, probably not. He always gets brought up though. I know. Look at it. It's so sweet. They don't play Ken Griffey Jr. baseball. The problem with that is I feel like King Griffey Jr. swing is better to watch than it is to do. Yes. Like I like watching King Griffey Jr. swing. If you had it. Yeah. A sweet lefty swing is the best. All right, PFT, your last. Okay. I'm going to go with Rose LaVille's dog. Okay. That fucking pit bull or the bulldog. Just having the dog. I would just want the dog. Yeah. I didn't take this Mount Rushmore series. What? You don't want, are you anti dog? No, I'm fine. I'm fine with dogs. There's a lot of, I have a list of things that I want over

Rose LaVille's dog. No, that's fine. Her name is Wilma. Yeah, I know. It's a cool fucking bulldog. Yeah. Okay. My last one, I'll go with Allen Iverson's handles. That's my last pick. That'll be sick. Yeah. Crossovers. Yeah. What do we have? I have a list of a ton that we've, I had, I had missed. Rob Gronkowski's brain on here because he's just happiness. Always happy. His brain is a drug. Yes. Jerry Rice's route running. Yeah. Randy Moss's catch radius. Hakeem's dream shake. I always wanted to have that. Gerald Green's jumping ability. Gerald Green's jumping ability. Yeah. Vince Carter's dunking. Would you go Steph Curry's shot or Ray Allen's? Ray Allen. I'd probably go Ray Allen's too. It's just so automatic. Same

every time. I would actually go with Michael Reds, but Ray Allen's tweeting ability. Yes, tweeting ability for sure. Havi Baez's drip. Havi Baez's drip. Yes, swag. His tag. His tagging. He had a no look tag this weekend. Really? I love the no look tags. It was maybe his best ever. Messi's free kicks. Okay. Ronaldo's ability. Roberto Carlos free kicks I would take. Ronaldo's ability to score like from three feet away and have everyone calm the goat for it. Yeah. Ronaldo's weird Adams apple that's definitely not the product of doping. Let's see. Ricky Henderson's speed. Barry Sanders elusiveness. Yeah. Putin's goal scoring ability. Good one. Barry Bonds on base percentage. You know, he's another one of those guys where you can get

lost in a wormhole of like lifetime stats. All right. So I got a couple for you. So hit me. From 2001 to 2004, his on base percentage, 515, 582, 529, 609 in 2004. Barry Bonds got on base six out of 10 times. That's incredible. And then Ryan Spader, who is the king of all stats had this one too. Barry Bonds hit a major league record, 762 home runs. If all of his home runs were strikeouts, he would still have both a higher on base percentage and a lower strikeout percentage than Willie star, star Joe Reggie Jackson, Mike Schmidt, Sammy Sosa and Alex Rodriguez. That's all 762 being strikeouts. That's crazy. John Boy said, espionage did something about Barry Bonds a couple years ago where it was, what if Barry Bonds had played baseball without a bat?

Like if you had just gone to the plate with no bat in his hand, it walked him with the bases loaded. Yeah. And he still would have had like a higher on base percentage than 99% of people that have ever played the game. Wayne Gretzky's vision or playmaking ability. Yeah. I wrote as a Homer pick, Patrick Kane's puck handling. Andrew Reed's clock management. Just for fun. Like just for laughs. This one's just as a goof. Yeah. Tom Brady's clutch gene. I wrote time. I had, so I had the Drew Brees accuracy. Tom Brady's longevity. I would go, I would rather have Fitzpatrick's longevity, like being able to be such a stringy guy and just stick around all the time. Dude, Tom Brady tweeting out that this is year 20 was such a mind fuck on real video too.

Yeah. Actually, Ryan Fitzpatrick's beard. Yeah. This one's a deep cut that only a few, the real ones will know. Sam Young's pump fake from pit. Remember him? He used to do the pump fake where he got all the way on his toes, his tippy toes. It would pump you out of your seat. If you looked it up, you would know it. You'd be like, oh yeah, I remember this. It was early, maybe early 2000s. Oh, DeWon Blair. DeWon Blair. His ass. He had a big old ass. Al Jefferson's ass. Remember Frank Comiskey said it was the biggest ass he's ever had to play against. What was his name? Zebo's ass. Yeah. Zebo's ass. Sean May's ass. What else did I have? Oh, Devin Hester's kick returning. I thought that was probably too cheap because it's like a lot of skills. Yeah.

Ricky Henderson's speed. I'll go Carl and Isle's speed. Okay. Paul Rable's vision. Yeah. To start a new league. That's what it really is. Merton Hanks's neck. Remember that touchdown dance? Yes. Incredible. Hardest hitter. I was, I was between, because obviously you could be like old Dick Buckus or Night Train Lane, but Ronnie Lott or Ray Lewis. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor, Ronnie Lott. Darren Sharper, problematic. Hardest hitter in the league. Yeah, but still, man, I miss to the Hall of Fame. Peter King has his way. Yes. Yes. Peter King has him. All right. I'm sure we missed a bunch. So tweet us the ones that we missed. Yeah. I think I got all of my list. It would be cool to make the whole, the whole player, which is a cyborg. Just a big

mishmash of all these people. Yes. Um, okay. Let's get to our interview with Blake Griffin. Blake of the year. Blake of the year. Before we get to Blake Griffin, a couple of quick ads. Good boys. What if the guys who made some of the most outrageous R rated comedies like super bad and sausage party decided to make an R rated comedy starring 12 year old boys? Well, they did. And the result is a hilarious new movie. Good boys. Good boys follows three in over their heads. Six graders as they skip school one day to do whatever it takes to learn how to kiss before their first middle school party. The thing is they're just completely clueless about all the inappropriate situations they get themselves into along the way. Like accidentally getting involved in a drug

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is Blake Griffin. All right, we now welcome on. It's heavy to say but 2019 Blake of the year. It is Blake Griffin. Your victory lap you've been on I saw you at Disney World. You have been in parades. You're now in New York City partying. And I just wanted to say congratulations again. Welcome to the new studio that we have not done anything new with. And it's great to have you here. Thank you. Thank you. It's been a bit of a whirlwind obviously. Yeah. But I don't know man trying to like soak it all in and enjoy this moment because you know not a lot of not a lot of Blake's get to live this. That's very true. That is true. Come true. How has your life changed since winning Blake of the year? True story. I was just I was walking here and a guy goes Blake

and I look over he goes Blake of the year baby 2.8. I was like yep you got money baby. How many random people have come up to you? So many. I was on a flight when it like this the Blake of the year came out and when I landed in Atlanta you would have thought I had just literally won like a like a low division 2 championship. Yeah. That's pretty much what it is. Yeah. So you know I just get recognized everywhere. Yeah. We were talking before we started taping and you seem a little bit salty. I think you were talking this over with Big Cap before I came in the room but you seem a little upset that we had given Blake Bortle so much of an opportunity to reclaim his title to defend it. Yeah. It wasn't just that. It's just that like you got you know

you specifically did this whole like hey Blake if it was a seven Blake series I still think you would have had it like all right man it's not. Well if the Super Bowl was played no. No it's not. You're right. It's not a lifetime achievement in Blake. It is Blake of the year. I'm sorry. It's okay. You won. I mean I can't take that away from you. Congratulations. We just like Florida Blake's like we have a type. I guess Florida Blake's is we like the Mimbo's. I get it. You're in Oklahoma Blake. That's the Florida of the yeah of Tornado Alley. Yeah. You have a little more you have maybe a little higher IQ than the Mimbo's in the Florida Blake's. There's something about the Florida Blake's. They just have a little panache that you just can't you know they don't

practice. They go out there they wing it and that's just what they are but you're you are the Blake of the year. So there's no by the way Blake Shelton followed me so he's going to be he's trying to get in on it which is bad for you fellow Oklahoman is he really so we have two Oklahoma Blake. We're gonna have to do Blake of the Blake of the Union. You think I think you should keep it Blake of the year and then we'll do like the whole like road rules challenge thing. That's like that's like the meth cookoff championship of the world. Yes. Yes. All right. So Blake you have you're here. You're doing you're going to go to Montreal after this. You're doing a just for last comedy set on Thursday night. Yeah. It's my my charity event every year is

like a comedy charity event. So I have like five comedians come in the past. We've had like John Mulaney Bill Burr Whitney Cummings some really really awesome comedians and this year I partnered with just for laughs in Montreal. So on Thursday night in Montreal I will be doing my set. Yes. Go ahead. Tell us a joke from it. Knock knock. No I don't know. Just one joke. No you're funny. I have to like stand up. It has to be a comedy. Okay. Everyone. Everyone pretend they're drunk and here Blake Griffin the funniest man in Montreal. What's up with this Blake of the year stuff. All right. You want to talk some free agency. That was this league dude this league this league. So wait where were you caught talking with TMZ about Kauai. Was that outside. Oh I was

like the comedy store in LA and this guy was just like hey you mind if I ask you some questions about Kauai. It just happened. My friend was on stage and I was with one of my other boys here and it broke while he was on stage and we just completely did not watch any of his set. We were just like following along. We were like hello Kauai. Paul George and then he came off. I was like that was great man. Yeah. This guy just like caught me. I don't know. And you said do you do you feel a little bad that the late the Clippers are like doing all this stuff when your numbers retired in that in that Staple Center. No I mean it's something they can never take away from me. That's true. Retiring my numbers. No I mean I feel fine. I'm not I'm not

mad about it. They'll be fine. It's whatever. Did Kauai did Kauai call you to ask you to demand a trade. You should have started that rumor. Kauai. Yeah because like Kevin Durant said Kauai called him and then Paul George obviously Kauai called Paul George. You should have been like well Kauai called me but I just I love Detroit so much. Oh no he did. I was just like what no. Yeah come on fool me once. Yes. Yes. Right. Shame on you. Yeah. Do you feel like you had a part in kind of bringing the Clippers to the point where now they're trying to be championship contenders like before Blake Griffin was there. The Clippers were always a little brother out in LA. They weren't really talked about. You got there. You guys made it to the second round of the playoffs a lot.

And so it was like one of those like a lot a lot. We're building the franchise. You helped to build the franchise. I would assume maybe Steve Ballmer wouldn't have been interested in the Clippers if you weren't on that team. You know playing in prime time. Yeah. Late May all the time. I mean I always say you can't get to the third round if you don't get to the second round. True. It's true. That was kind of our thing was like take like taking control of the second round space like a lot of people are trying to like win the championship. Yeah. Start from there. Yeah. Yeah. I actually really do like feel like a sense of like pride. You know we I think we all kind of do. I think the way it ended like with everybody kind of everybody going separate our

separate ways was like obviously like a down point. But like at the end of the day man like before I got drafted there people were telling me like do not go there. They'll ruin your career. They're the worst franchise and sports worst owner like you're going to be a bust and like I went there and you know it worked out. We you know we started making the playoffs five consecutive years like 50 win seasons. And like I think it like I don't know I think we were a part of like putting that that franchise at least on the path and then you know Ballmer came in and it is what it is today. So I don't know it wasn't just me. It was a lot of us but it's really cool. It's really cool something like doing something that you know you feel is is

bigger than yourself. I was kind of joking but I am a little bit serious that I don't know that Kawhi and Paul George would have taken it as seriously as a destination free agency if there wasn't like a little bit of a track record of winning there recently. Yeah I mean yeah and you know you could say the Ballmer thing you could say you know whatever the sterling thing I guess had to happen. Yeah but it was a lot of yeah it was a lot of things that happened and you know I'd agree I think that we were part of that that changing that culture a little bit you know. What about one of your teammates from the Clippers Chris Paul. Was he part of it. No no no just like what about.

Just talk. This is an open-ended question. Chris Paul. Word association. If you were to give Chris Paul some advice on what to expect in Oklahoma what would you tell him. On what to expect in Oklahoma. You know you know he's played there before when he because he got drafted in New Orleans Katrina happened they played in Oklahoma for two years. He's no stranger to Oklahoma. That's true but I've heard he's not actually going to play there. Well we don't know. We don't know. It's true. Yeah we do not know. So what thoughts. I don't know I just can't see him really like I'm thunder's not really in a position to be like a real playoff team or at least contend so I don't know if I see him stay in there. I mean at this point in his career I'm sure like the ring is

the main objective and I don't know. I feel like I feel like they're going to have to move him somewhere. When are you going to start ring chasing or are you ring chasing right now. I am right now. I am right now. That's true. D Rose. Are you ready for that. Oh yeah great. Have you talked to him. I have. OK good. I've known D Rose since high school. How does that work when you guys sign a guy whether it was at the Clippers of the Pistons like how quickly do you do the text. You don't want to seem like you're you know thirsty thirsty for a new teammate but you also want to be welcoming. Yeah you like I like give it a night and then you always start with something like sup like who's this. Oh my fault BG like BG who like Griffin and then you go into

it like that. You got to like really ease into it. Sup is a good one. Maybe toss in a couple of like casual emojis just. Yeah maybe I will I've messed up before just going all in and seeming real thirsty. Yeah I did not work. You ready to get this. Yeah that would be a little too much. Did you actually make any calls in a free agency like doing any recruiting for the Pistons. I did. I did a few calls a few texts if you work a few reaches reach reach outs. You know what I think I was over three this year. Who did you call. You know what like one of them I literally I reached out and literally 30 minutes later it was like oh so and so is signed with this team. I was like all right well it was bad timing. One name. One guy you reach out. You can't tamper

retroactively. Yeah you can't tamper retroactively. He's free agent. Do you know that for a fact. Yeah we actually I got I got I have a basketball agent in here. Yeah you're an agent. I knew I smelled a suit. Do you ever do that like entourage. Get out of here suit. Billy what's the name. Billy he can say. I reached out. I reached out. You reached out to you can give us initials and we'll just guess his name rhymes with Schmeff Breen. Jeff Green. Got it. OK. Yeah I text it. Yeah I text him and literally like I think like 30 minutes later it was like Jeff Green is signed with Utah Jazz. All right. Damn that would have been nice. That would have been nice. So are you ever like amazed with how ridiculous the NBA free agency is because it really does.

It is the best by far in any league and the this league and everyone changing like everyone going to next year. Half these guys are all playing for new teams. It feels like all the power has shifted around. Yeah I actually think it's great for basketball. I mean the parody in basketball now is like you can you can say a favorite but like I think Golden State would have won this year if they were healthy. No question. Yeah. So I don't think you can really go into the season this year being like this team is going to win and the odds are stacked. You know what I mean. Right. It's going to be like good for basketball even like an East team. You know what I mean. Like distance for the free. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously the balls.

That is looking pretty juicy. The Central Division in the East. Really stacked Milwaukee. Yes. Us. How are you feeling. Are you feeling in the best shape of your life. You say that. Yeah. Well that's that's a media day. Okay. Yeah. So you're a media day. You say I mean I work. I worked my ass off this summer and you know I came into camp best shape in my life and you know I'm just looking to like make it make a statement. Yeah. Everybody know were you nervous at all. That's actually good right there. You should actually say that you gained 15 pounds of muscle to or drop body or drop body fat. Do you do anything different in the off season because you've been in the league for a while now. It's like I would expect

that you know what to do to train to get your body ready. But do you change anything up. Not a lot. Like last summer was like a good a good amount of work. So I normally start like lifting after like about a I take like three to four weeks off and I start lifting lift for a while and I start doing basketball and I kind of like slowly work into and I ramp up like once August hits I take it to another level and then September like it's full pretty much full go until camp starts. How sweet was that a visa booty party. You know what man. It was chill. Yeah. Yeah. When those pictures came out. What is that you know it was crazy thought process when TMZ gets you like that. You know what's crazy is we I was still on the boat when the pictures came out

really. Yeah it was like whatever four o'clock in a visa was like 9 a.m. out here right you know or whatever. Don't call me on that. That sounds right. Yeah that sounds whatever you're close enough. So we were like still on the boat and we're just like all looking at like laughing like best day ever. Yeah. Did you see the guy like in a dingy. No I mean we saw guys when we were leaving and we knew that like the probability was high but we didn't really like we didn't know we didn't see the people who were taking those pictures. I'm just pissed that it wasn't during Blake of the Year week because it would have been great to see you with a phone in your hand while you were partying which I know you would have done a hundred percent without a doubt.

I would have for sure. Although now that you have one I don't know if you'll I feel like yeah you could rest on your laurels. The fire burns within me even more than half. I mean the hardest thing in sports is to repeat as Blake of the year. It's true it's never been done. No it hasn't been done. How was France your little trip to France where you were like oh yeah I got to go to Paris in the south of France in Monte Carlo. I was chilling there with Michael Jordan. It was cool I guess. You know we were just chilling. Russ me Russ Westbrook. Some of the guys it was yeah it was a lot of fun. We were there doing fashion week and stuff and it was it was wild. What's the what's the next fashion to come out of Paris besides NASA t-shirts which

are huge right now. Yeah the next fashion. Yeah I'm always looking ahead. Like last year it was the Levi's shirt. This year it's the NASA shirt. Yeah what's next. What were they wearing there because I feel like fashion week that's where I think you know what you know what's crazy is throwback jerseys are coming back. Oh nice tall T's and throwback jerseys are coming back. Little Blake Griffin Clippers jersey Blake Griffin Oklahoma jersey. Yeah yeah both. Both work. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Did you see what they said a big 12 media day today. I know this is for football but they were talking about the horns down the Texas horns down thing. Is that a penalty. So it was a penalty last year this year. They're leaving up the refs are saying like as long as you're not

doing it in your opponent's face you can still do the horns down amongst your teammates. So if like somebody next like a player next to me is doing the horns down I would just yeah put your exactly. Yeah. Do you like taking a charge. Yeah all the time. Like when I go back and play in Oklahoma you know because it's the one thing that Oklahoma and Oklahoma State fans can agree with is like the horns down. I like that. So when you go back to play with Oklahoma are you saying like with Chris Paul. Say that again. You want to go back and play with Chris Paul in Oklahoma City. Well right now I'm under contract to play for the Pistons. Oh yeah that's true. I really I enjoy my time with this league. This league you never know can happen in this league. By the way petty wars

I saw you liking tweets of people who are doubting your athleticism. Really. Yes someone was like Blake Griffin his losses athleticism and his power and then you liked it. When was this recently. I'm pulling it up right now. Check his likes. I'm on there. Yeah it's pretty recent all over it. Do you ever just want to be like get a life people. Yeah like you're searching through my likes sometimes. Oh to you guys. Yeah yeah we have a life. We give out a word and then in office I definitely peruse through the mentions and I get it. I get some likes like happy. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Real quick before I pull up your likes and then we grill you on those. We talked about Zion a little bit last I wonder in the back of the van about you mentioned earlier like some people

were in your ears saying you don't want to go to the Clippers you don't want to play there. Did it ever occur to you to do something to just say like I'm not going to play for the Clippers if they draft me. No I actually didn't like people a lot of people were saying that and I just didn't really. Did you ever read that deposition that Donald Sterling did when that's a guy I'll pull that up in a second we'll do a little Monday reading. All right so let's read some of the likes. I asked you this year. Yeah let's see. Oh you liked Mason Ramsey's. If you ain't if you don't got no giddy up then giddy out my way. Yeah I liked that a lot. Let's see. Let's see. You liked a lot of Blake of the year. Yeah you know what

people were really making me feel special and I was on a plane like I said so I had a lot of time on my hands. Pulling this I don't see any of the doubters. No seriously did you unlike before you got here. Maybe I accidentally. Yeah you were like they're going to probably get me so. Anything petty in there. Let's see what I'm looking. Tom. Let's see you liked. You like. Oh here's here's a good one. You were talking about the trade that sent you to Detroit and somebody said worse trade in team history and you like that. Oh yeah. Yeah that's a good one. Here's one sexy little brunette bitch sucking and fucking our personal trainers big cock. Oh no that's not. Oh that was James Brown. Sweet. That was sweet. That was James Brown. James Brown

dot com. Oh boy. I was coming. I was like oh my gosh they got my internet history. Dude James Brown. I love that tweet. I love that tweet so much. It's one of my favorites. One of my favorites is three on. Yeah. That's a good one. Hey put together an awesome little take on me remix with that is OK. Here's the deposition ready. This is Donald Sterling under well I fool around sometimes I do when a girl seduces me and tells me all those hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me when I'm in limzine she takes all of her clothes. The limo driver said

what's going on and she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Coons house and I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good lawyer. Sir the question was is this your handwriting. That's the best thing ever. All right. I got one last question for you. Put in promo code take you get ten dollars off C key purchase two K ratings. They came out. You're an 88 thoughts. That's actually kind of. I was 86 last year. Oh that three points shooting up and that athleticism that came back. Well yeah. Yeah. Well your toughness probably came back when you just wrapped your entire leg. Yeah. So are you what do you think about people who get mad about it though because I feel like that's been the hot thing right now is with Madden players. Yeah and

NBA 2 K players getting mad about it. I don't know. I feel like 86 was probably the lowest I have ever been. I don't know the lowest I've ever been and then I probably had one of my better years last year. So you know. Hey yeah whatever man I don't care. By the way this is the tweet you did like it says the overwhelming night to night physicality that once made Blake Griffin so special appears to be gone for good at age twenty nine. You like that. That was from 2018. Oh my god. You know you know you went way back. You know what I probably like probably like you know I probably came across it somehow. So wait so you what was your highest rating. I don't know. You must have no idea. I don't really play. Do you think it's lame

that people get upset. The players get upset. Very. Yeah. Because it has no control over how you actually are as a player. That's true. That is very true. I'm pretty sure. Just in game. But in season I can I can understand like if you play 2 K all the time and you're playing as yourself and you suck that would probably get inside your head a little bit. But I also feel like a lot of guys don't play with themselves. I feel like a lot of. Yeah. OK. All right. Put that out. It's just its own clip. OK. They called in cells. A lot of guys don't play. That's really nice. I guess when you're in the NBA you don't have to masturbate. Yeah. Because you're on an abyssal yacht all the time. No FAP League. That's fucking awesome. Sweet dude. Nice life. Blake of the year.

Do you have any questions for us as as owners of Blake of the year. We did this again because you come on all the time and you're one of our favorite recurring guests that we don't really prepare. So you can just ask us questions. Last time I think we asked you the questions we didn't ask many pack. Yep. There were lots. That was good. That's true. What. How's your Australian team going. Good. And you have offered New Zealand. Yeah. We have an offer. Same game. Do you do you know. Do you feel good knowing that like if all goes wrong for you and you lose your physicality again. Yeah. You could always just play for our team. Yeah. I think that's like a good like to have in the back pocket. All back. I've always wanted to go to New Zealand. Boom. Or Australia.

Let's do it. It's in New Zealand. It's in the Australian basketball. It kills two birds one. Yes. Yeah. We're the only New Zealand team in the Australian basketball week. Wow. A little confusing. But yeah. No it's like Toronto. Yeah. Pretty much. Exactly. That worked out pretty well for them. Right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. We're trying to break. Now we just need to find your you guys. We have. We have officially made you an offer. If it ever comes to that. You can send send the numbers to. Okay. What about your brother. Is your brother still playing. He could play. We could just say that it's you. Good. That would actually be awesome. I actually had an idea to just put a bunch of celebrity lookalikes in the front row like all the celebrity

fans. I have a guy that looks like Drake down there. Have a guy that looks like your man Frankie Munez. He was a big Clippers fan. Right. He was. Yeah. Just have like Spike Lee in the front row. We could do the same with the players. Spike Lee. Wait. Your brother's here right now. Does he listen when you come on the show. Yeah. He like listen. I think he's heard. He knows what's going on. OK. Can you pass him a mic real quick. Hank. Do you. Does it suck that you didn't get the same athleticism. Oh. Well I've asked Blake that. You're here. Do you ever think about it. Have you seen his like measurements of the combine. Yeah. I know. But like you ever think like man that that's bullshit. That should have been me. No. If you had done steroids like Blake you could

be here. I mean if if I had like you said I probably would have got it. OK. That's actually the best place to be because you can't you know one's tweeting like Hey Taylor Griffin lost his physicality. You're just sitting there like yo if I wanted it probably all NBA. Yeah. At least all star. What were your measurements at the combine. 38 I think was my highest vertical. It's pretty good. Well it was yours. The last 38. I thought I was going to have something cool to say. Was it higher or lower. It was lower for sure. Really. Yeah. Mine wasn't 38 I don't think. Damn. OK. Did you train with the jump souls. No I didn't. If you had trained then you'd be up there.

You'd be 38 at least. Yeah. All right. Well I always wanted to ask in the older brother that so yeah thanks that was real fun. Well yeah I mean it was for me not for you guys. Here's a good question to change the mood. Where do you come up with your material for your stand up. Blake you're so good at stand up. Just relax on 25th. It's just observational stuff. You know I you know I see things. I try to make them relatable. You know everyday life. You know like you know like you know how when you wake up and your butler hasn't like pressed and like ironed your like workout gear and you're like right it's stuff like that. Right. People get it when you can't put on a pair of pants because you're too tall and your legs go at the bottom. Yes stuff like

that. I understand when the booties have twerked just like they've twerked all they can twerk on the bees like no when you're on a yacht and all them booties been twerked out. There's no twerk left on this yacht. You guys get me off this yacht. That's my time y'all. Shit we just wrote your best joke. At what point on the yacht were you like okay let's I've had enough twerking for the day. Let's go back inside. Let's go back to shore. Where's there a moment you just look around. Is there ever a time. I don't know. I've never had. I think when it got dark. Yeah when you can't see. Yeah we can't see the. Did you put on sunscreen. When I was in Ibiza. Yeah I did. I was in the sun today a little. Am I a little red. Well it's also hot in here. Yes it's very hot in

here. This is the worst studio in America. All business people tell you that it has nothing to do with the lights because they're allegedly LED and they don't put off heat. I don't buy that at all. Not at all. Yeah those are hot. Those are hot. They're hot. They're hot. All right. I think that was. I think we crushed it. I don't want to take any more of your time. Go to just for laughs on Thursday. He is our Blake of the Year. Also one of our favorite recurring guests and yeah. Yeah good luck to the Pistons. If you're on the Pistons this week. That's good. Damn. That interview with reigning Blake of the Year Blake Griffin was brought to you by movement. That's right. You shouldn't have to choose between over priced designer sunglasses

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movements starting at 60 bucks no pair over $95 get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash pardon that's mvmt.com slash pardon. See why movement keeps growing. Check out their expanding collection mvmt.com slash pardon. The interview was also brought to you by bird dogs. We were talking about bird dogs earlier on the show. Here's the script right. It says one go off King. All right. So let's fucking go off about King because I'm wearing them right now. War them to a pool party this week. People are like yo PFT aren't you going to change into your swimsuit. I'm like bitch. I'm wearing my swimsuit right now. They're also shorts checkmate. They're the MacGyver of shorts. I fucking love them. I wear them all summer long.

If it's hot outside you better believe you're going to catch me in a pair of movements. Hell yeah. That's all there is to it. They also made NASA tees. They sent me a NASA bird dogs t-shirt which is pretty cool. That is cool. So check it out. You get one for free. Do you think it's all because of the 50 year thing? No it's because of me. You're right but bringing it to the United States. Do you think it also helps the 50 year thing? It doesn't hurt. I didn't really put it together until this weekend. It's really NASA just trying to piggyback off of you people finding NASA cool. They're clout chasing me. Yeah they're swagger jacking. Get back to cloud chasing and tell me some shit about the atmosphere NASA. Stay off my drip. So yeah they've got the NASA tees.

They're free with an order of two pairs of bird dogs. All you have to do is go to birddogs.com and their promo code take. They'll throw in a free pair of nunchucks too birddogs.com promo code take and boom a free pair of nunchucks with your pair of bird dogs. Okay let's get some segments. First up we have a way to stay relevant baseball. Hank let's put in this audio because it was so good. It was Aaron Boone yelling at the umpire on Thursday. Baseball needs this so so bad. I've been saying for years that the one mystery about the game that I think everybody wants to know is what do managers say when they're right up in an umpire's face just like yelling like a word every half second. Like I don't know what they're talking about

but it now you do. It looks interesting. Fucking savages in the box. My guys are fucking savages so I love it. I love the best part was Aaron Boone just clapping like do better do better. He basically was speaking to his you know 10 year old son when they get report cards like I know you can do better they're fucking savages in the box tighten it up do better. He was coaching him up. Yes he's been a good manager to the umpire. This and uh member ass in the jackpot last year when we get these sound clips baseball becomes more interesting so figure out a way to have the manager mic'd up. I don't care if we have to watch on a 10 second delay whatever it may be I need more of this. My only regret is that it wasn't Joe Girardi and he didn't have his braces

because like the the only thing more emasculating than having another man like spitting basically into your mouth as he's screaming correct is having that guy be wearing braces at the time. But that was this had to been the most watched baseball clip of the year and since ass in the jackpot since ass in the jackpot and these clips always happen and they're like not supposed to get out. So last year I think Major League Baseball tried to take down the ass in the right video right. So stop asking why is it Mike trout a great star that we can all you know market. We don't care about Mike Trout's mammoth home runs. We want to see two grown men yell at each other. Yeah. I want to see Mike Socia storm out of the dugout. I know he's not the manager

for the Angels but in this scenario. Don't correct PFT on Twitter. Let's pretend that he is. Yes. I want to see Mike Socia waddle his fat ass up to Bruce Bochie. Yeah. If you're seeing the video Bruce Bochie someone like timed it him coming out and running out. He's the slowest runner of all time. Yeah. He makes him wait for me puts on a hell of a show. I just I need to know what these baseball men because they've been in the sport for like 40 years. They have a very specific set of just like phrases that are that aren't uttered anywhere outside of baseball. I need to know more of what they are. OK. Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. How about we bring back sweet Lou Pinella and have him just be the automatic yell at the umpire guy for every side. So he just shows

up. Yeah. Every team can have one but we have to have Lou Pinella in like prime time games and for both teams. So you just call him comes out of the bullpen. It's like all time quarterback. Yeah. He comes out of the bullpen cart and he just screams at the ump for your team and it's all miked up. So it's like Sunday Night Baseball is a Lou Pinella game. I like that. I would everyone would watch everybody would tune in. He's miked up or just have him as like the rules analyst except it's for manager argument analyst. Yes. So he's out there lip reading. It's like saying what he would be saying in this circumstance. Dude. Could you imagine Lou Pinella getting on that cart coming in and like the fifth inning to just yell at someone for another team that he

has nothing to do with. And his job should be just sitting in the bullpen. Yeah. Inside the car. Full jersey time with just like a course original. Just ice cold course original nursing it throughout the game and then he gets a drunk drive the car. We can go to like the umpire. Yeah. Lou Pinella Cam where it has a little note of how many beers he's had. Yeah. And I want him eating garlic. I want him eating like sauerkraut and Italian long sauteed onions on his hot dog. Yeah. I need his breath to be like at peak performance when sweet Lou comes up. We just fix baseball yet again. That would be so awesome. Yes. All right. Saber metrics. We have a saber metrics. What was the it was a podcasting Saber metrics. It was. Yeah. So this is interesting.

I'm sure if anybody out there listens to podcasts you'll find this shout out. This is from Stephanie Fu. She was a producer at NPR or she was a producer at all things considered I think. Okay. Or this American life. Excuse me. Here are some fun facts from her about podcasting. Normal cost of a 15 minute long story at a major storytelling podcast. Two months. Six pre interviews. Three interviews. Seven hours of tape. Ten drafts. Two to four edits. Each one to four hours long with two to five editors in the room each time. Two days of mixing and scoring. Don't lowball us. This is a hand emoji. The clap emojis that she gave at the end. They don't know what it's like to score a podcast. Yeah. This feels very inefficient.

This is no. I think this is true. Fun fact about part of my take is we have this exact same process. Yes. And so we recorded this episode in 2016. It was really good at predicting the future. I listen. You should be better at gambling. This. This. Yeah. I know. Really. This American life is a very good podcast and obviously they're doing something very different than us. But how much does it suck for the Stephanie foods of the world to realize that we're just two idiots that just hop in here. Like we do 20 minutes. We do. Here's here's a part of my take night. We come in. We do 20 minutes of prep. We eat some pizza and then we get in the mice. Now we do other stuff during the week. Sometimes we eat Chinese food. Yeah. We do other stuff

during the week. There's a lot of interviews. We do pre interviews. Yeah. We do. We've never done six six pre interviews. And sometimes those are more potent than the actual interviews in all seriousness. Like why would you do pre interviews when that's when you're going to get their best. Right. Right. You're just tipping them tipping them off. Yeah. This is weird. But you're very inefficient. But you're right. I think that there are different types of podcasts and some it favors people that are as unprepared as we are. Yes. Yes. We've actually done a very good job, especially like with interviews with people that we don't really know sometimes that people like it more when we don't prepare for them. Yeah. We did an interview with Tofer Grace

and I've seen like zero things he's been in. Yeah. We have an interview with Cody Kodemarro that you guys could use some questions. No. I'm a sweetest Cody Kodemarro questions. You even burn bro. I'm going to say that like four times easily. He's definitely I think it's funny every single time. There's also loves here. It's like my dick. Yeah. It's going to be great. Either way, I stand with all podcasters. Somebody whispered suck my dick to me this weekend at the event that we were at on Saturday. And did you do it way more way more. No, he wasn't an award-winning listener. Got it. It was just a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Did you do it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was he was polite. Yeah. Right. Sky stuff. Exactly. Just hanging out. AC. All right.

I have this take quake and then we'll do our Monday reading. So this one PFT. It's not as much of a take quake. It's more of a I just can't believe this is where we are. OK. Someone tweeted, my husband is convinced that every single character on the office except maybe Oscar, Jim and Pam voted for Trump. And it seems depressingly plausible to me. OK. Yeah. This is fun. This is fun. Your go back. Your favorite show has been ruined because you think you took a fictional show and then put it into present day and got mad at the characters for your assumption of their political leanings. Yeah. That's tough. I mean, we can go back. I've got some bad news about the cast have gone with the wind. Shit. I mean, Jerry Seinfeld, Trump had some pro-Israel

thoughts. So he might have ruined every show. That's very true. We could go down the list. What about the Friends characters? Do you think though? I was thinking about it. Michael Scott definitely did just because he likes like he likes a party. He probably went to the rallies. I feel like Michael Scott. He thought something like the debate stuff was the funniest thing in the world. Yes. Yes. Yes. He definitely would be a guy that would start like just a pro-Trump Twitter account. And then he'd get famous based off that. Right. And then he would convince himself. And not realize what he's doing. Yeah. Like, oh, shit. What am I doing? He's like, people love me. Yeah. Dwight definitely would have voted for a libertarian or not even. Dwight was a Gary

Johnson guy. Yes. No chance that he would have voted for anyone, any major party. But either way, this is just so. Oh, Angela. Definitely. Angela. Definitely. Kelly. Mary Ann. Kelly would vote for Mary Ann. Yes. John. I don't think. Jim. Sorry. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim would. Jim Safe. Yeah. Jim. Pam and Oscar. Jim would vote for Hillary. And he'd make sure that everyone knew that he was voting for Hillary. He'd have the bumper sticker. He'd have. Yeah. He still has the bumper sticker. I'm still with her. Man. Let's see. Who else? Kevin. Who would Kevin vote for? Kevin would forget to vote. For sure. He would get the day wrong. Yeah. That would be a whole episode. Boom. Episode. Episode gets made. Ryan would vote for Trump. I feel like he was a Trump guy,

right? Yeah. Probably. He's, he runs an Art of the Deal reader. And maybe. Yeah. And that's why Michael Scott voted for, got into Trump in the first place to impress Ryan. Ryan told Michael Scott about Art of the Deal. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. We can do this with any. It sucks. It sucks. But it also sucks that people are letting their brains get broken like in having a show. Retroactively removed because of your own brain. Yeah. You've assumed a character's political leanings that they're not even real. They're not real characters. Yeah. Let's, yeah. Let's do what we'll do like a cross stream. What's the thing that everyone's mad about about the New Disney character? Oh, REL under the sea. Yeah. We can do that. We can do who voted for

Trump under the sea. You, the little mermaid. Yeah. Or little mermaid. Yeah. That's the song. Yeah. Ursula. Ursula probably did. Yeah. Ursula did Sebastian the Crab. He was, he was French. No, yeah. No, he's Jamaican, I thought. Oh, he is. Yeah. You're now thinking of Beauty and the Beast. Beauty and the Beast. We can do that, too. The tea cups. Yeah. See how fucking stupid this is. All right. Yeah. The tea party. Exactly. Let's go to Monday reading. So this Monday reading was sent to us by, uh, Schnax. There you go. Schnax. Shout out Schnax. My 25 or my, uh, she's 25 boyfriend. He's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Buster's. Fair. So far, I don't see a problem. I really don't know where to start with this and it sounds

very petty, but I'm at my wit's end dealing with my boyfriend. Some context. We have been together for two years and he is overall fantastic, very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible. For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them as a try hard move. Uh, he'll come for me after a tough day at work. I work at a call center and get some crazy ones for the most part. He is also very respectful of me. This sounds like a great relationship. Yeah. We were both raised Catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall standup guy, which I admire a lot. Literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Buster's. I'd say that he's the total package. This is

total package. I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him, because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him. I guess I will just get to the bad part. My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave and Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum. I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum. We were talking crying, stomping, et cetera. It's bad. That's again, Dave and Buster's is awesome. Yeah. So this is a little crazy. None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to quote, go to Buster's. Why are you leaving Dave out of it though? Like I admire the fact that he's shortened it, that he's got his own

pet name for Dave and Buster's. Basically you're in a relationship with three guys right now, boyfriend, Buster and Dave. And it's been more than a week. If it's been more than a week, he'll say we haven't been in quote forever. I love this guy. I want to be best friends with this guy. This guy has given off major. Like I grew up in like some weird cult like environment vibes, right? You can't put all these prizes. Yeah. Dave and Buster's was like an immoral champion. Yeah. I like this. I like this guy. It was his first introduction to electricity and so he just like fell in love with it. Yeah. Scratch MJ's competitiveness. This guy's competitiveness. I've tried talking it through with him. I have suggested other restaurants, even other barcades,

but it has to be the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the power play card. They don't have the million dollar midway. There's so many things. Yes. So many games. Take me to a Chuck E. Cheese and I will I will throw a fucking false. So new barcades. They always do like the hipster throwback games like, oh, we have the Simpsons game. Don't you love it? Nostalgia. Dave and Buster's has everything. They have the hits. They have the old stuff. They have the new stuff. You got to go Dave and Buster. Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes because like I there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter. Oh, and then it's and then it's and you

select your game and they give you zombies. Shout out to anyone who still has crews in USA. When I tell him I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone. He says something like, what do you mean? You love Buster's. I give you all the prizes. This guy's giving away the prizes. It's not even about the material thing. It's about the process that he really loves. That's more than just a stuffed animal. Yeah, that's more than the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy balls. Yeah, it's more than the like weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people. Those are only available like being redeemed for tickets. You can't buy those on the normal market. You think you should buy beanie babies? Knock off beanie babies these days? No, no.

Key chains? Yeah, you better believe he's got key chains. When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him. Now that now you are a good girlfriend. And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together. That's it. Oh, wait, no, no. I press him about it. And the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D&B's and considers it quote, the single best day of his life. You know, holy shit. I love this fucking guy. This guy's Jim Harbaugh. Yeah, he might be. I won so much. Absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do. Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying,

I just want to do that again. That specific thing. And you know what? Like the more I think about it, like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool like video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with football. Yeah. And it's awesome. What's the alternative going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic? I'd go to Dave and Buster's. You know, what's depressing is driving past a Dave and Buster's and not going. Yeah. Be like, man, I really wish I go in everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going at Dave and Buster's going into Buster's. Yeah. How do I help him move past this? I really want to keep dating this man. I know nostalgia can

be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable. Please help. Too long didn't read. My boyfriend is obsessed with DNB's won't accept not going there at least once a week. We have a great relationship other than that. I don't see any problem with this. No, you need to just you're dating the coolest guy on the planet. Yes. The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Buster's than him. Yeah. That's the only way you cannot tell him not to go to Buster's. You cannot tell him, Hey, we, you know, let's skip a week because then he'll say we haven't been there in forever. You can't have him go solo. The only solution if you really don't want to go to Buster's is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.

That's exactly right. You have to win more tickets than him one time. Yes, that's really it. And he will never go again. He'll never go again. Yeah. Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation. I think they probably go to vacations around Dave and Buster's only in cities that have Dave and Buster's in them. Like you can't go overseas. They've been to Tampa many times. Yeah. Jeez. Yeah. There's one on every block. It's like Starbucks in Tampa. Oh man. All right. That's our Monday reading. Shout out that guy. If we can, if someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave and Buster's with him. Yes. I would. Yes. In New York. We will fly you out. I love anybody that's depending on where you live. There's that passion

about any like weird small things. Yes. I just find them fascinating. Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because it's the best day of my life. The single best day of his life. I mean, the staff at that Dave and Buster's definitely knows him. He's a regular. He's the only one that walks into Dave and Buster's and says, I'll have the usual. And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name. You show up and everyone like, Hey, here he comes. He probably changed his name to Dave and Buster. Maybe Dave Buster. Yeah. That's going to be his kid's name. I know you were thinking about that for your

baby. Dave and Buster. Yeah. Okay. We'll see everyone on Wednesday. Love you guys. That sounds awesome. Today is my day to find you, shine away. I'll be coming for your love, okay. Shine away. I'll be coming for your love, okay. Love, okay. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. I'm so needless to say. I'm all sentient, but I'm being stolen away. So I learn that life is okay. Stay up to me. It's the better to be safe than sorry. Stay up to me.

It's the better to be safe than sorry, safe than sorry. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. I'm so needless to say. I'm all sentient, but I'm being stolen away. So I learn that life is okay. Stay up to me. It's the better to be safe than sorry, safe than sorry. You all things have come to remember. Shine away. I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. It's part of my take presented by Farm School Sports.