Pardon My Take - Booger McFarland + Recapping 10 Days Of Football

Episode Date: January 2, 2019

We're back after a little break and ready to go. Cleaning up NFL stories as well as the playoffs being set (2:29 - 15:23). Coach Firings and who is in position to get one of the 8 open jobs (15:23 - 26:02). Bowl game recap and what we learned after watching way too many hours of football (26:02 - 31:18). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Lebron and Bird Box memes (no spoilers, promise) (31:18 - 45:46). ESPN's Booger McFarland joins the show to talk about his career in the NFL, transition to broadcasting, and how the first year doing MNF went with some bonus questions about the Booger Mobile (45:46 - 86:24). Segments include Trouble in Paradise Antonio Brown and the Steelers, new segment Blueprint Busters and how getting cheap quarterbacks isn't the secret sauce to a Championship. Take Quake John McAfee thinks its ok to fuck whales and Guys on Chicks. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we are back. It has been a great holiday season, a lot of football, watched a lot of things we got to catch up on, and an awesome interview with Booger McFarland. We talk about all the Monday night football stuff, his career in the NFL, the Booger Mobile, everything you want to know, we get to it with Booger, and we have Hot Seat Cool

Throne, and because it is Wednesday, yes, guys on chicks, before we get to all of that, I have a Cash App Read, and it is the Cash App Tongue Twister Read, so I'm reading this exactly how they write it, ladies, no, everyone knows right now, listen, I'm not, I'm not ad-libbing, this is exactly how they've written it, so here we go, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash App, Cash Appy Appy Appy, Cashity Cashity Cashity App, Appity Appity Appity Cash, Card Card App App, Cash Card App Card, App Cash, Cash Cash Cash, Card Card Card, App App App, Cash Card,

Send Send Send, Spend Spend Spend, Save Save Save, Cash App, Cash App Store, Google Play Store Cash App, let's go! No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't live all on the sun, oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh

we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're

gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric high value, and then we're

living in the future. That's right. You written any checks? I've not. Yeah, I don't write checks. No, we don't write checks. We use a cash app. I was actually thinking about that, because our good friend, Uncle Chaps, wrote a hilarious

tweet about him writing checks, and people actually thought he was serious, but that's neither here nor there. I don't write the date ever. No. I don't know what date it is. You just said it like three seconds ago? Yeah. I'm pretty sure New Year's was like a couple days ago, right?

Yeah. New Year's Eve was like three days ago? Yeah. Before we get going, by the way, how long are you a Happy New Year's guy? Because I famously like to do it for the entire month of January. Oh no, I just do one day. Okay. You get one day out of me.

No. I'm not handing out gold stars. Besides that, it's Happy Jumpsuit January. Oh no, you see me at Starbucks? I'm saying Happy New Year till like January, Jan 30. Doing Jumpsuit January, by the way, was probably the best thing that we've ever done. Yeah. Because January first is like, I don't care what day of the week it is, it's always a

Sunday. It feels like a Sunday, and the rest of your year is coming up and you're dreading it. But when you realize that it's Jumpsuit January, you get that like little pep in your step. You get something to look forward to for the whole year. Well, how comfortable is the one you're wearing right now? Oh my God, it's velour. It's great. Is this velour or velour?

Listen, velour. Whatever it is, it feels like just a lot of angels massaging me. Yeah, if we sound comfortable on this episode, it's because we're in Jumpsuits. And not to say that people should send us free Jumpsuits, but check out Twitter. We'll put out our sizes and our address. But yeah, send us free Jumpsuits. I'm still a medium. Yes.

I'm an double XL. No, I'm an XL. Okay. I'm on the diet. It has started. So if you're listening to this right now, I have not had a carb this entire year from January 2nd on. Yeah.

Well, January 1st, it's like it's still basically New Year's Eve. Yeah. You're in the demilitarization zone. Yeah. If you don't go to sleep on New Year's Eve, you get to eat whatever you want until you've finally passed out. Exactly. All right.

So we got a catch up. We have a ton to get to. Yeah. We have so much football that we watch. I actually wrote down exactly how much football I watched, how many hours do you think I watched? Now, we need to do concurrent since the last show. Yeah. Okay.

We didn't do concurrent. So it doesn't count when I'm watching three games, I'm not counting all three of the games. Right. Those are quality hours, but they're still just one hour. I watched 20 bowl games. Okay. That's concurrent.

I watched 20 bowl games total. Some of those happened at the same time. I'm going to guess you watched 67 hours of football. Close. I was going to say 60 hours. 76 hours of football. Nice. 70.

I missed a couple. There was a couple days on like December 27th and 28th. I missed the early games. You should get the Presidential Medal of Freedom for that. That's pretty cool. My eyes started to like burn by day four. I was like, you know what? This is just the new living like I just eat all day.

I also found out that you can get addicted to cookies. I ate cookies like five cookies in the morning. Five cookies for lunch? Yeah. I just found that out. So much football and it was so great. I will say though that Thursday and Friday of this week, they're major crash days. Yeah.

There's absolutely no football. Yo, yo, listen. That's why you got a DVR, a couple of like Browns preseason games. Yeah. Just to tide yourself over. Play another Mac tournament. Play the Mac tournament on Thursday and Friday because yes, when we get off of the football, there is that day.

It's probably around December 29th where you wake up and you're like, this is life now. We wake up, we watch football all day, we gamble all day, we go to sleep, we wake up, we watch football all day, we gamble all day. And to have that jolted away from us, it sucks. I'm still reminding myself. We have the whole month of January of NFL playoffs. Can I say something scary? Your pinky finger might be gone.

Nope. We'll get to that. But we have 12 football games left. That's fine. That's fine. That's a lot. 11 NFL games. I can't even count that high on my fingers.

Okay. All right. All right. We have 12 football games left. All 10 of my fingers. Should we talk about some NFL playoffs? Yeah. We're going to do this.

We're going to go NFL playoffs. We're going to talk about coaching and then we're going to get to bowl games and go from this. Let's start with a Saturday. Okay. I love Saturday wildcard games. I do too. Thank you to the NFL for honoring the yearly tradition of either having the Bengals or

the Texans are usually both play each other in that early game. They should just rename it the AFC South Bowl because AFC South, watching AFC South football gives me diarrhea. I can't, I get uncomfortable watching it because you just, it's never, it teeters on entertaining but in a bad way. I kept going back to it and saying like, wait, you got to be shooting me three teams from the AFC South. Like we're on the verge of making the playoffs essentially.

Right. It was crazy how it all worked out. I'm going to count that as a playoff game by the way, last week. We watched the playoff game last week and the Colts and the Titans. The AFC South, you were like, this is a trash division. The Texans obviously got out to, well, they didn't get out to a hot start, but they won those games in the middle of the season. And the NFC East as well, when we started the season and I think every team was like

two and three or one and four, whatever it may have been, we thought Noah was going to the playoffs. They had two teams in the playoffs. It's crazy. Yeah. It was a shame actually that the NFC East was going to have their winner go to the playoffs after like week four. Yeah.

I'm going to crap it all up, but I'm still convinced that Cowboys are going to screw everything up. So can I ask a question about the team that got left out of the AFC South, Marcus Marriota and the Tennessee Titans? Yes. Is Marcus Marriota soft? Hmm. Good question.

You think it has that? Is his dad the same dad as Colt McCoy's dad? I don't know. I don't know. He was healthy. He was ready to go, but for some reason he was like, oh, I guess I can't play on. So Vrable was not, he didn't have his back. No.

Vrable was just like, we play with the guys we have. I, listen, I don't know what exactly happened with, he seems to be injured all the time. I don't think he's soft. I actually don't think he's soft, but it was hilarious that he put the Tennessee Titans in a situation where Blaine Gabbard had to start a win and get in game. All those years of exotic smash mouth added up on Marriota's body, he's just, he's injured every other week. Yes.

I agree with you. I don't think that he's soft, but I do think that he is very often injured, maybe not always through his own fault. Yes. We shouldn't do a preview of the playoffs cause we'll do that Friday, but we're going to do like clean up around the games. The Seahawks and Cowboys game, Jason Garrett wins the, are you the dumbest person alive award for playing all the starters?

Cause he desperately, now I don't know what you think, but I think it was clear that Jason Garrett wanted to win 10 games. So that when Jerry Jones goes to his office next year and is like, Hey, I'm thinking about firing you. He's like, but I won 10 games. Yeah. The double digit win factor is a real thing and for a guy like Jerry, Jerry doesn't spend a lot of time poring over numbers.

He just like looks down a column and you see a nice round number like, I like that 10. Right. That thing looks pretty good. Right. I masturbate on that number. That's a stat that ages well. Yeah. Exactly.

10 and six sounds great. Even though like, yeah, they lucked their way into a couple of games and yes, they kept their starters in the fourth quarter against the Giants, which was very, very weird and it almost bit him in the ass because Van Der Ash got hurt, but then he was fine. He's like an upgrade version of Sean Lee. So he was fine. But yeah, he tried his best to really fuck himself up. He really tried to fuck it up.

They had nothing to play for, but you're right. Jerry Jones definitely sees that, that zero on the 10. Like that's a glory. So, so that's going to be Seahawks and Cowboys, right? That's going to be a good game. Yep. Pete Carroll in the dome. I like that.

He's at night. I like him at night anywhere in a box with a fox in a tree with a bee. I don't care what it is. Him indoors with that big, the glow from the screen. Yep. It's going to give him a nice. He's going to look up on it with his hands on his hips, chopping that gum. Yeah.

Watching a replay. He's on set of a movie and he's being very well lit. He's clockwork orange with his eyes, you know, his eyelids taped open, just watching these replays and put loose change on the jumbo. The chargers got absolutely fucked. So they have to go. There's all, there's four playoff games, obviously wildcard weekend and three out of four of them are not played early.

The fourth, the chargers have to go from San Diego all the way to Baltimore and play a team that kind of like handed it to them in their own stadium just a couple of weeks ago. I don't even know what to make of that. I'm just happy the Ravens, the Ravens could not hit like if they had lost to the Browns and had that happen two years in a row, it would have been something. It almost happened. It almost came very, very close.

Baker tried his best. He did. By the way, if I'm in the AFC North next year, I'm terrified. Yeah. That's a big. I don't care. I don't care who their coach is. As long as his name isn't Q.

Okay. I'm going to pull it out. It's going to be Mike McCarthy. You think so? Yeah. He's interviewing them I think tomorrow. Oh, and he's got it. Yeah.

It's just a formality. They already did their runy rule with Condoleezza and now it's Mike McCarthy set ready to go. I can't decide if Mike McCarthy is a good coach or not because I feel like anybody's spending that much time with Aaron Rodgers. Like you're with your best friend on a sleepover for like six days. You get sick of each other. I feel like Aaron Rodgers would piss just about everybody off eventually. Yeah.

So I always, whenever you ask, like, is this guy a good coach or not? You have to just look around the entire league and he's better than most. Let's just say that. Yes. He's better than most. You could do worse. You could do a lot worse than Mike McCarthy. He looks like Cleveland.

Yes. He just looks like a Cleveland. He's going to look great in that. That brown. Yeah. Yeah. He's going orange. I don't think he's going to wear the orange, like big coat.

I think he's going all brown. Maybe an orange belt. You know how he's got the big belt? Yeah. He'll be the brown Andy Reid. I like that. Yeah. Mike McCarthy.

It's good. It's Cleveland. Done. Also, one thing I've noticed about the Browns opening is they're connecting every single coach that has any sort of family history in Ohio as being interested in the Cleveland Browns. Got to do it. Yeah.

It could be anybody. Like, oh, his dad worked at a shop in Mechanicsville for three years. The connections that people go to for NFL hirings and NFL QBs, it peaked for me when Mark Tresson got hired by the Bears and Jay Cutler had been at a passing camp in like 2006 with him. And they're like, well, they kind of know each other. Like no, they actually probably have never even met. But that's a connection.

Yeah. There's a lot of, and if you're going to pick any state in the entire country, Ohio for coaches is like, I guess, Ohio and Virginia for Presidents. Yes. Like every coach is from Ohio in some way. Yeah. Absolutely. All right.

And then last, we have the Sunday afternoon game, the Eagles and Bears. I, so where did you land on the Bears playing, kicking the shit out of Kirk Cousins? I think that Kirk Cousins is the best, or he's the shittiest good quarterback. So no, wait, I reversed that. Yeah. He's the best shitty quarterback. No, I disagree. Matt Stappers better than him.

No, but no. In terms of shit. Listen, you're not hearing me out because what I'm saying best, I'm not saying like most talented or actually good. I'm saying funnest shitty quarterback to watch shit himself. Got it. I love watching Kirk Cousins fail and stuff. He's so bad.

I actually, I went back and forth because listen, I'm not on the team so I can say this. Like I would rather play the Vikings than the Eagles. Yes. You know, like there's not bulletin board material. I think playing the, the Super Bowl champs, Nick Foles, who, I don't know what's going on in Philadelphia. He's like touched by God versus playing Kirk Cousins, who kicks long enough, forgot to reach out.

True. Who, Kirk Cousins, who cannot beat anyone ever, who has a winning record. No. Yeah. Thank you for adding. Yeah. The Dolphins, you get, you get the fucking, you get the real good. My favorite part of that game was him and Adam Thielen screaming at each other.

So it's like watching two Corgis fight with each other. It's like neither of you guys should be raising your voice to everybody. Yeah. Right. And they were, that was a mess for the Vikings, mess for Zimmer, the Bears, I actually think Mike Zimmer might murder Kirk Cousins. Yeah. Mike go on Craigslist or probably just Google or type into a Word document, like how to

hire a hit man or just go to Cincinnati. Yeah. No, seriously. I like Zimmer just resigns and goes and coaches Cincinnati. I could actually see that happening and he would probably cut Andy Dalton for costing too much. He would just remind him too much of Kirk Cousins. Right.

Like I'd rather go this Driscoll guy. Right. So I, I went back and forth. I obviously, like I said, I'd rather play the or the Vikings and the Eagles, but Matt Negi after the game was like, look, we just love to win. Winning is fun and we're not going to like stop. So I'm actually all in on the don't take your foot off the, the gas. Don't tell guys like, Hey, don't play your heart out.

Just beat the shit out of people and go into the playoffs with Swagger. Okay. I like it. I like it. But see, you say that because it worked. Well, no, I say that because I understand the quote after the mentality of like, Hey, we got something rolling. The worst thing you can do right now is be like, Hey, let's just, let's take our foot

off the gas and, and we'll, you know, the whole situation I played out where the Vikings are like, Oh, they, they want to play us again. Yeah. It's one of those weird situations where if, if you did what most people call the smart thing and like avoid injury, it's that's actually not a quality you would want in your team that's going to succeed. And we already got injured. I handed Miller cut injured, which is a problem.

Yeah. Well, he, is he going to try to play through it? Cause he's got a shoulder. That's, that's one of those hilarious injuries where like it's dislocated and they pop it back and you're like, I can go, but every time you've had it all year, every time you like reach behind yourself to put your seatbelt on it pops out again and then you're just like shit. He just, he gets out of his room.

He gets like three yards out of his route and it's like, yeah, he can't even jerk off anymore. Yeah. Well, other hand. Yeah. There you go. The stranger. The stranger.

On Friday and we have to now move to a black Monday, the saddest thing in the world to talk about these millionaire coaches getting fired from their jobs and maybe having to go be coordinator somewhere. Listen, big cat. They've got family consultants or you ready for this, the scariest thing of all, they might have to go on TV. That'd be rough. They might have to go like get paid half a million dollars to be on ESPN.

They might have to go to college, to a college program for a while. No, don't say that. With a buyout. Do you think they'd have to recruit? That's this. Remember when Charlie Weiss got fired? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy to have to, to go get paid a million dollars to recruit.

They've got families though is what you're forgetting and their families will have to fund a new private school in a different city. Yeah. So we had eight, we have eight openings and we have to lead off with the one that we never saw coming 2003. Since 2003, Marvin Lewis has been the coach of Cincinnati Bengals and the best part that with Marvin Lewis getting fired, it was almost like watching death Twitter, but for a guy getting fired because you had everyone rejoicing and then you had the well actually show up

and say, well, Marvin Lewis took a franchise that was a joke in the nineties and made them consistently into a playoff team that never want to play off game. So Marvin Lewis actually not bad. Well, he actually fired himself. Yeah. So my understanding is that Marvin Lewis was like also the general manager because they don't have one of those in Cincinnati. Right.

So it was a mutual agreement. He actually agreed to part ways, meaning I guess the owner asked GM Marvin Lewis, hey, should I fire the head coach? And he was like, yeah, I think we got to get rid of this asshole. And he's like, oh, shit. That's me. Yeah. Who's your recommendation for the next one?

Hugh. Hugh. So Hugh is absolutely stepping up. What Marvin Lewis's firing did for me was it made me confront my own mortality because this is a guy that I never, I didn't think that he could be killed. No. I really didn't. And you want to talk about your guy, Jeff Fisher, Cincinnati would be the perfect either

the Supreme Court or Cincinnati. But don't let's not let's not cut Hugh here. This is Hugh's job job to lose. I agree. He's already in the building. Well, he can if it's his job to lose and he'll probably figure out a way to do it. He will eventually. Well, not before he loses.

A lot of games. He might tie this. I could imagine Hugh. Go ahead. Coach with Jeff Fisher. Hugh like hacks into the computer system and changes all the interview times. So the coaches show up at the wrong time, maybe changes the keypad. He's going to do all kinds of hijinks to make sure he gets his job.

How awkward is that? The Hugh Jackson is going to be potentially the next coach for the Cincinnati Bengals, but he's also in the facility kind of working. Well, what's going to be great is it's like Dick Cheney starting the vice president search committee for George Bush. So he was going to be like, I'm going to evaluate all these guys that come in. I'll interview you first. You know what?

I didn't really find anybody. They've all got big red flags. Let me here. Let me help you out. You don't have to get Ernie of course, he to do, you know, a $2 billion the search firm. Which always ends up with John Fox or someone from his coaching tree. I'll do it for you. I'll interview these guys.

Well, now the search firm is either John Fox or like some young guy that's kind of hot. Yeah. It's a college coach who scores points. Just pick a name out of the big 12 and be like, hey, that guy is going to be a good coach. Exactly. All right. So we had that.

We had your top 10. Todd Bols. Yeah. Well, I think I'm justified because I don't think anybody in this room would sit here and say that the New York Jets are good at evaluating talent, right? So if they make a decision, it must be the wrong one. Yes. No, I mean, listen, I realized I'd stepped in a bad take.

Sometimes you have these moments where it's like a bear trap. You go through. Well, it's like a bear trap. But if you stepped in a bear trap and you're like, I'm not in this bear trap for like three weeks. It's before your adrenaline kicks in. Yeah. So you're, you're bleeding and your bones are broken and you say, Patrick, my home is

a bust. Yeah. And then you're like, you look down and you're like, whoa, this actually is a problem. Yeah. I was like, he's still a good head coach. My leg is not in a fucking bear trap. Listen, I would know. Okay.

I know what a bear trap looks like. That Monday night game, that Monday night game fucked all of us up. Yeah. So I'll have your back on that. The Jets, the Jets Lions game fucked everyone up. Yeah. That, that lost me so much money for the rest of the year being like the Jets might be sneaky good and the Lions stink and then they would win at random times.

So now the Jets are going to try to find a guy that just fits Sam Darnold. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. In the city. Give me that reality show. Tough. Tough loss.

Jim, try to ride the subway. Jim, we'll live with you, Jim. Coach, he will shack up with you. No, Hank, you're not feeling it. I don't see it. You're not feeling it? No. Okay.

I don't think Jim Harbaugh, has he ever been to New York? Yes. He definitely has. He's definitely done like the Statue of Liberty Empire State Building. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. Look at this building.

Lady Liberty. Huge. Right. Right. And that's pretty much it. Broncos, Vance Joseph. He gets fired. John Elway.

Like, hey dude, maybe it's your fault. Yeah. He's fired from the second that Monday night football game started on Christmas Eve when Elway was just looking like an assassin from a James Bond movie up in his office with two black gloves just staring sideways. Hey John Elway, maybe strangle yourself, man, because you drafted packs and lynch. You thought giving Case Keenum money was a good idea. You brought back, did you bring back Brock Osweller?

Yeah, he did. He brought him back. Yeah. He started Brock for a while. Like, dude, swag was pretty good. Okay. Misunderstanding. I'm convinced that a guy like John Elway is like, I don't ever want a quarterback as

good as me, even though he got Peyton Manning. Well, that's what I think. I think I brought that up to somebody, oh, to Schlairs. Yeah. And he was like, what about Peyton Manning? I was like, that's shit. That's a pretty good point. Yeah.

But it was old Peyton Manning. Yeah. So it's different. But yeah, John Elway, that's, the problem is probably you. Yeah. I would say so. So far. Because his defense is really good.

Yeah. They've got a really good running back. And then they go on, they get Case Keenum. How much are they paying him? Like, 15, 16 million? Yeah. And now that I'm thinking about it, like, and we're going to get to this later with this whole blueprint to how to win a championship in the NFL.

But I would probably give Case Keenum that money again instead of Kirk Cousins. Yeah. I was going to say, I'm going to reverse my cousin's take. Can we get a reverse beep, Hank? Yeah. No, no. Like, you ever backed up a car? Beep, beep, beep.

Okay. This is me backing up a take. I said that Kirk Cousins was Case Keenum in a tuxedo. Yeah. No. He's Case Keenum in a tuxedo on New Year's Eve that he's puked all over. Touching a t-shirt. Yeah, and then crapped himself.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. If I were the Vikings, if I could go back in time, I'd give Case Keenum the money. And the back of a cop car. Yeah. And they're like, they're like, Kirk, you've crapped yourself again. He's like, gosh, shit. Oh, damn.

Was I playing fairs again? Oh, fuck. We have the Cardinals. Who cares? Steve Wilkes. No, although New Year's resolution, we're going to try to, we're going to try to get Arizona sports. We're going to grow part of my take in the state of Arizona.

Mm-hmm. So, man. It's our number one demo. It's a great job. Josh Rosen. Bidwell. He's an owner. He owns that team.

Bill? You talking about Bill? Yeah, he owns that. Bill Bidwell. He owns that team. He's got a dog that, oh, I think his dog passed away. Shit. Hard knocks.

He's probably in the market for a dog, so you get to have a puppy around probably. Larry Fitzgerald's going to retire for the 17th season in a row. Can we, I love Larry Fitzgerald, and yeah, he's a great player, hallfamer, all that stuff. Great guy award. Mm-hmm. But if he comes back another year, I'm done with it. Did you see him? I'm done with it.

He's the favorite time of form every single year. Is he the number one guy that people want to see win a championship? That's that guy who treated me. Yeah. Randomly, I got a tweet just in the middle of the football craziness on, like, December 30th, and some guy was like, hey, big cat, Larry Fitzgerald really deserves a ring. I was like, what do you want me to do about it, man? Well, you're right.

It wasn't even, I thought it was a reply to something. It wasn't. No, he uses your power as now the number one sports podcast in Arizona. Get Kyle Williams on that team, too. Let's go. And just have the media cream themselves for one entire season. But yeah, Larry Fitzgerald either retire or say that you're going to play for another 10 years.

Yeah. Do a tour like David Ortiz did. Yes. Where you get to go at every stadium and every quarterback gets to talk about how he kicked your ass for the last 15 years. Am I wrong, though, that in, like, probably the last four seasons, week 17, they've been like, well, this might be it for Larry Fitzgerald, and if it is, it's a great career. I do feel kind of bad for him because he's had a lot of shitty quarterbacks.

Yeah, yeah. But he's also had some really good ones. He's a whole famer. He's had some good seasons. Yeah. Not a, well, it's a great job for an old coach in Arizona because they're like, I just want to play golf. Who's the hallfamer we had on who said he'd rather, oh, Chris Carter, that was the craziest

take ever. What do you say? When he said he'd rather be in the hallfamer than win a Super Bowl. Yeah. The hallfamer, Chris Carter. So that, yeah. I bet he did. Yeah.

All right. Dolphins, Adam Gase. I don't even consider this a firing because he's going to get hired almost immediately. And this is just a product of you had Ryan Tannehill as your quarterback. It's also a product of you play in a shitty division against Tom Brady all the time. Yes. And so they just, well, you do beat Tom Brady occasionally. Yeah.

But yeah, that was mostly, I would put that mostly on the quarterback position. Yeah. And just Adam, I don't know, that's one of those like, it's just a Dolphins thing. Yeah. The Dolphins like the time moves on and every now and then they just got to fire their coach. Yeah. Bring back the Coke offensive lineman guy. Yeah.

And then they're blowing lines and yelling at hookers. They'll bring a guy in, they'll finish the season next year on a four game winning streak. And then following year, they'll be the team to watch out for maybe sneak in nine and seven. Here's the problem. And then they'll go like four and 12 and fire another guy. Here's the problem with the Dolphins. They are marginally better than the rest of their division besides the Patriots every year. So they fucked themselves over into landing at like the 18th pick.

And they're never bad enough to get a good quarterback or like an elite player. And so you either have to be really shitty in that division or really, really good. Yes. And then we know about the Packers. Hey, Joe Phil. Joe Phil been having to do a press conference on that Monday was so funny. Like what are you doing? Talk about the season show.

Why are you still here, man? Yeah. Why are you, what's going on? But the last one we had was the box, which is the, like does this even count as a firing? No one even. Der Cutter. No, he fired himself before the season started. Yeah.

But he said that James was going to be around longer than he was. That's right. That's right. He sounded like a, like a dad that accidentally got his wife pregnant when he was like 75 years old. Yeah. He was like, well, I'm not going to see this kid graduate. He's also one of those coaches that in like 10 years, someone will say his name like,

oh, was he a, yeah, he was a head coach. That's right. Der Cutter. What do you think Der Cutter does after this? I don't know. Someone, this goes back to work at the hardware store when you work in the NFL, when you work in coaching, you're in the mafia. So he'll probably be like a linebacker's coach or something.

I don't know. He's going to like show up at Alabama next year and be like, Hey, can I be an unpaid consultant? And Nick will be like, no, you pay me. Yeah. You go, you just go up to your, you go to your sugar daddy, whoever's at the top of your coaching tree will get you a job and you just go back there and you start it all over again.

All right. So that's the coaching vacancies. Now let's, before we get to hot seat, cool throne, want to quickly talk about some bowl games. I guess we should talk about Notre Dame being Notre Dame. Oh, that's a good one. You like that? Yeah.

So they, everyone got very mad because Notre Dame laid an egg against Clemson. Oklahoma actually put up a fight and everyone's still mad that Georgia didn't get in even though they lost two games and people forget that they lost LSU by 20. Can somebody explain to me the sorcery of why I totally believe Clemson players explanation of their, them not being like intentionally guilty of doping. For some reason I totally buy it. Yes. I totally do too.

Why is that? They've, they've somehow managed. What happened? If you run star defensive lineman got caught drug testing, he was like, I don't know how it happened. And I was steroid. I watched it and I was like, yeah, actually, how did that happen? There are two other guys.

If you run a PR firm out there and you want to convince people that your client didn't do drug, do whatever Clemson's doing right now. It's incredible. I'm like, Dabbo's kids would not do, they don't want to disappoint Dabbo. I've never seen a story get kind of swept under the rug to like, and it wasn't swept under the rug that no one talked about it. We just talked about it and said, well, I don't know. Yeah, that sucks.

Lawrence, right? Yeah. I feel bad for him. I do too. Something must have gotten mixed up with both of the samples. I'm happy you said that because I saw him on the sidelines and I don't even know that he could be on the sideline with a suspension. He was on the sidelines.

I was like, man, that sucks. Can he come back for the Alabama game? Yeah. I felt so bad for him. He can't even come back next year. It's so true. What they're doing to this kid, railroading him, it's fucked up. He had a bad smoothie.

Everyone's got a bad smoothie every now and then. They're explaining, I heard a few things. It was like him and two other guys and they're like, well, their lockers aren't close together. So we're scratching that one off. What does that mean? They might have taken the same supplement at some point. Listen, whatever happened, I'm fucked up. It is fucked up.

It's a free Dexter Lawrence. The NCAA is punishing these kids. I buy him. Is that even his name? Yeah. So he's awesome. Yeah, Dexter Lawrence and Trevor Lawrence. Yeah.

Trevor Lawrence is not a freshman. That was a big thing going in the game. He's going to have his freshman moment. Okay. Nope. Nope. He didn't. The moment wasn't too big for him.

No, it was not. So do you want to talk a little bit about, well, we can get to the championship game on Friday. Yeah, we can do that. Or no, on Sunday, because it'll be Monday night. Oh yeah, good call. Yeah. But we should talk about UCF losing their national championship.

Yeah. As I coined it, the interim national championship that will last us until the real one, because they were the defending champions. That was also a very poor job by UCF fans. They did not go down as like valiant losers. All they did was complain about the quarterback being out, even though I think nine out of 11 defensive starters on LSU weren't playing for a variety of reasons. But that was like, everyone I think was like, all right, we're going to have enough with

UCF. And then I just saw a bunch of people saying, whoa, we didn't have a quarterback. Listen, when you get outgained, like I think LSU had 550 yards or something. Yeah. It was a big boy football. Yeah. It was a shit pumping, as her friend Ryan Whitney would say. Joe Burrow got his clock cleaned in the first quarter on that blindside hit.

And then he threw four touchdowns afterwards. Not some sense into it. And then I didn't realize this during the game, but he's coming back next year, apparently. Boom. There we go. He's old enough to come back. I don't know how this works. It's the Hunter-Rinfrow.

Tiger's ready to go. Yeah. I don't know anything about that. UCF's quarterback on the sidelines had his foot up on his, he had the biggest leg brace that I've ever seen. Oh, you had a very, very bad injury. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he had still had like pins and shit sticking out. Yeah. And people were like walking by, like tapping his foot, like at a babe, at a babe. Siding his cast. Yeah. But bowl season is so funny. It's just so many games that are unnecessary for anyone who doesn't love college football. But if you love it, or if you love gambling, or if you have a team, it's just so much fun.

Because there's so much bad football. I mean, the Cheez-It Bowl, I remember the Cheez-It Bowl. What was that? That was the overtime one? That was the TCU vs. Cal game, where TCU's quarterback was, I think at one point he was five for like 14 for eight yards, and they brought in a backup and the announcer said, this backup can't, he has no feeling in one of his legs. And it was like, what is going on in this game?

And it was, there was eight or nine interceptions. So those type of games always happen. And the only, the only other thing I had for bowl season was Big Ten West's best conference in all football. What's the record this season? Four and one, but four and oh, if you don't count the time Purdue lost by 49. Okay. What about Stanford?

I feel like you should count Stanford as part of Big Ten West. And Big Ten West. They should, they should real on, right? Yeah, they did. Yes, they did. 14-13. I don't remember any of this. That's a very classic Big Ten score too.

Yes. Put Stanford in the Big Ten. Yeah. The one thing I had left for bowl season is I love bowl records. Yeah. Individual bowl records. I think I said that this was like the longest interception in the PlayStation fiesta bowl history.

Like we're going to be talking about, but like they had a different sponsor like five years ago. Yeah. It sort of resets. Of course. But still you get to watch history made every couple of years. Absolutely. So bowl season, I'll miss you.

I will really, really miss you. They really, they fucked it up. It used to be with the BCS era, remember when there would be like a bowl game tomorrow night and a bowl game on Thursday night. They ruined it. They ruined it. I will watch any game that has the word bowl after it. Yeah.

It's just preseason. Yeah. We pumped. Yeah. Rebrand everything as a bowl. All right. Let's do hot seat, cool throne. Hank, why don't you start?

I had UCF on my hot seat, but you guys went over that. My other hot seat was our good friend, Darren Vell. He's been getting roasted by us by basically the whole internet. And then Dana White took another shot at him because for Vell after Nunez won, he said like it's actually bad for the UFC because she's not marketable, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Dana White in his press conference after he said, what's his name that idiot that can't stand? Darren Vell, what the fuck does Darren Vell know about fighting?

Number one. Let's start with that. And he says the UFC got destroyed tonight because Chris Cyborg lost and Amanda Nunez won and she's not marketable at all. Fucking. Listen, I'm pretty resilient to this dumb shit, but holy God. So first of all, Revell, if you want to answer Dana White's question, what do you know about fighting?

The offer is still out there. I will fight you in rough and rowdy with one hand. So there you go. Build up some street cred. It is there. I think you and Dana are doing Darren a favor to build up his brand and a street cred by simply acknowledging him. You remember when, uh, when Ed McMahon was doing his XFL press conference on video and

he's right now on the line. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. That would have been weird. Vince McMahon was doing that, that XFL press conference and he had Darren on the line like amongst a bunch of other reporters.

He was like, uh, Danny Revell, Dan Revell, Dan Revell from ESPN. That's what Dana sure does. Just like fucked up his name somehow. Yeah. But the Revell, like Dana White versus Revell is so funny because Dana White is just owns him. He just owns him. He's like, I fucking hate that guy.

Yeah. He doesn't dance around it. He doesn't do anything like that. And let me just say, uh, for Revell, relatable Revell, imagine being walking into work tomorrow and talking to the guy that had Ohio State minus five and a half on that run back. Oh my God. Just, just, I mean, that's pretty. Waterboarding himself.

You guys know what I'm talking about. Water cooler. Yeah. You always talk to just guys at the cube about bets. Yeah. I'm talking about my gambling problem. I'm going to need it. By the way, boss, I'm going to need to advance on my next paycheck.

Hey, I know that I'm a head of accounting here, but let me quickly talk to you about my gambling problem. Yeah. All right. Next Hank. Oh, then my cool throne is the University of Houston. Mmm. Cougars.

Mmm. Go Cougs. Got some pretty high level fans. Yeah. Look what I'm doing right now. This is their hand signal. Yep. We're both doing it.

Yeah. Go Cougars. I love Cougars. We are Houston guys now. So what the hell? Can Houston fans please tell us what we need to know? Shasta. Shasta.

Okay. I like it. Shasta. Shasta six. The first question should be Dana, will you let your star players wear the jacket on the sideline? Oh, yes. That's a very good question.

What jacket? The member at Oliver, he wore the jacket and Major Applewhite like tried to fight him. That was kind of his undoing towards the end. He tried to fight his star player. Yeah. You don't do that. You don't wear the jacket if you're not playing. You just can't.

You can't wear the jacket. Okay. My other question for Dana is what other schools does Houston play against because I always forget that. Okay. Temple. All right. All right.

Manny Diaz is our coach. You see that? That'll be tough. Oh wait. You see that? You see that? Okay. They're going to be the new UCF.

He's got a chance for a national championship next year. Yep. Absolutely. I actually like this move. Just put up a billion points and then tell everyone that, you know, come play us down in Houston. I give a new stadium. I know that.

Yeah. Yeah. Because Tom Herman basically, you know, rebuilt. Oh, Dana White or Dana Holgersen, will you also be kissing your players as is tradition in Houston? That's right. Yes. And then there was LeBron James Humility.

So there's a clip of him not only just like pushing forward the notion that you can drink booze before you go to work because he was walking into a pregame with a glass of wine, but then in a clip on his own show that he executive produces, he put out a clip saying he was the goat. Exactly. Because after I beat the Warriors, I knew I was the greatest of all time. Yeah. And you know what that did?

That launched a thousand takes because both first take and was undisputed, Skip Bayless's show. That morning. That clip came out. That Monday morning. Coaches getting fired. During Black Monday, they both got back into the LeBron. I checked my clock.

I was like, you are exactly one month and four days early. Yes. This is a day after the Super Bowl argument that you have. Can I confess something? Skip Bayless finally got me with a tweet. He said, he tweeted out on that Monday morning because we weren't working. He said, I'll tell you why LeBron James made me LOL next on Undisputed. I turned on my TV right away.

I turned it in and it was just fucking LeBron versus MJ and it was terrible. But I did turn on my TV. We could also probably do an entire segment breaking down the logistics of LeBron James getting that glass of wine in his hand. Did he have the glass in his car? Was he driving with the glass? Was he in a limousine? And he had to step very carefully out of the limousine, making sure not to spill his

tiny little glass. I think we can all agree though, at the end of the day, LeBron was just so fucking extra there. He was being a little extra. Right? The most extra. The most extra. The lack of a stem on that wine glass?

What are you shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond? Yeah. That was a whiskey glass, dude. He's a tumbler, bro. You idiot. God. Is that it? Yeah.

Okay. When I saw that happen, I was so mad we didn't have a show right there. I know. I wanted to dive into it. My first hot season is going to be Uggah. Oh, yeah. Uggah the Bulldog because Bevo put the horns down on him. Yes, he did.

Bevo went charging. He busted through that wall. It was before. What? The sugar? What bowl game was that? It's the... I want to make sure we get the spots.

Sugar bowl. Sugar bowl. Yeah, sugar bowl. Because Dana Ravel is listening. I think it's... Allstate. Yeah, allstate sugar bowl. Allstate sugar bowl.

Yeah. So he busted through that fence, went right at Uggah. Uggah's handlers pulled him out of the way at the last second. But Bevo almost took out like six reporters and photographers with his horns at the same. Now, I'm a little woke on this situation. This could be like a weigh-in for a big fight because it was like an hour before the game. Get the two fighters going at it. Get people talking about the game a little bit.

That's true. Because it did work seamlessly that they... What was a boring Rose Bowl at the time, it came on, it's like, ooh, check it out. These guys, look at Bevo in the locker room punching, you know, speedbagging his trainer. Yeah, you've got the Allstate CEO giving a press conference right after saying how disgusting he is. Oh, it's terrible. This is terrible for the game.

Bevo threw that monster energy at Uggah. It was terrible. That's really bad. My other hot seat is the Lions, Raiders, Giants 49ers, and the Redskins. Because those are the teams that can be forced against their will to go on hard knocks next year. All right, say it again. So the Lions, Raiders, Giants 49ers, and Redskins.

I'm going to skip one step ahead in your brain and tell you the team that we're rooting for is the Raiders. Yes. Well, I was going to say Raiders, but also Sneaky Lions. Matt Patricia would be so miserable being on that. Well, you know what? He'd just make the team practice outdoors all the time, get the cameraman really, really frustrated.

He'd go to the mosquito bites. And the Redskins, I think, would be up there. Dan Snyder would be like Tom Cruise making sure that only short people stand next to him. Yes. It would basically be Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen just in an office watching you porn blooper compilations. And then Jay Grudin's weight fluctuating from week to week.

You know what would be great, though, if it was the Redskins, if the sprinkler shot at FedExField, since the turf there is so shitty, just like a flamethrower that comes out of the ground. Sandbox. Yeah. All right. Cool Throne. My Cool Throne, well, I'm just going to stick with the R words because their Twitter account

is on my Cool Throne. So their entire social media policy is Cool Throne City. Too many fans were replying to every single tweet that they laid out over the last week and a half with hashtag fire Bruce Allen, their team president. And so their strategy now is to just stop tweeting all the time. They have a tweet in days. That's smart. They can't be bullied if they're not tweeting.

Yeah. I like that. Very, very smart. That's very smart. My other Cool Throne is Clay Helton because Cliff Kingsbury is getting job interviews in New York and I think Arizona to be head coach, head football ball coach. He's going to make the exit of NFL teams. Yeah.

So I don't know. That was a pretty good power move on his part. If he just shows NFL teams that USC is interested in him as a hot young coordinator, they're like, we want to get the next hot young coordinator before he's the next hot young coordinator. Yes. Absolutely. I agree. That's a smart PR move.

Yeah. You have any other Cool Thrones or that? No. Just that. All right. So my hot seat is Dicky V. Dicky V has gone strong in the paint to try to get Rick Petino job, which maybe let it breathe. He's got a job.

Yeah. It's true. He's got his Greek job. Yeah. In Greece. He looks so miserable getting off that plane. Yeah. So miserable.

But he's coaching them up. He is coaching them up. Yeah. You see, UCLA lovers, please give a call to 80 Dan Guerrero, who I respect and tell him to hire Rick Petino. They'll be top 10 and relevant instantly. Yes. We'll take lots of guts to get that done, but the rewards would be super.

Yeah. If you have a chance to hire a coach that's under an FBI investigation, you got to do it. Got to do it. He's getting killed for it, but you got to do it. Like if you're looking at a money ball perspective right here, who's undervalued right now? Coaches that will face severe discipline, right? Yes.

Those are the undervalued guys. So you got to go after them. Also, can he be charged double jeopardy? Can he be charged for the same crimes twice? And two different schools? Right. Probably not. So he could probably just get Adidas back on the line and just do the whole thing over.

Yep. Right? I agree. He should start his own basketball league. He should. He should. LeVar Ball. Yeah.

I can't remember. I forget about LeVar Ball sometimes. He needs to get back. LeBron, can we all agree? LeBron definitely pays LeVar Ball to shut up. Yes. Absolutely. Thanks.

Good. Well, it's happy that we didn't even have to do a stay woke for that. Yes. Because he just hasn't talked. All right. My cool throw, and I got two. First is Joelle Embiid's sex life. Did you guys see this over break?

Joelle Embiid said he's matured by cutting out trash talk on social media. I don't even remember the last time I really posted anything on social media. I've been really busy with my girlfriend just hanging out with her. So Joelle Embiid, you all are losers on Twitter. He's having sex. I like that. Yeah. Good for him.

Big own. Yeah. Although, I mean, Joelle Embiid was one of the funniest guys on Twitter for a while. Yes. And like, his girlfriend's got to be pretty exhausted if he's just like, she's brought sex. Listen, if you're in a relationship that lasts like any longer than I'd say like six months or a year, at some point, you just like, you need your breaks to do social media.

Social media is like sex at some point. And also, Joelle Embiid is all hopped up on Shirley Temple. He's probably having sex at all hours. That's right. Like just chill out, man. All right. My other cool throw is Sandra Bullock because she is all the way back with Bird Box, the phenomenon on Netflix.

Now, I watched it because I felt left out of a meme and I do not like to be left out of memes. Everyone knows that about me. And I didn't like it. I thought it wasn't that good. What? Did you like it? No.

Yeah. It wasn't good. And Hank, you had to stay woke, which actually makes perfect sense because I actually am like the guy who got tricked. But go ahead. Tell it. Netflix basically bought, they did it instead of like paying money for advertising the old fashion way.

They just bought a bunch of bots to create these memes to get the conversation started organically. But someone went back and looked and like a lot of the early memes and stuff were coming from accounts with no followers, no tweets. And it's the perfect meme picture with her blindfolded in the boat. That's the whole reason I wanted to watch the movie. Yeah. And then I got to it.

I was like, these memes aren't even that funny. Yeah. And then isn't there like a scene with a monster, but they deleted a monster? Is there a monster in the movie? You can't, you can't really, no, I don't want to give it away. Okay. There is a monster. The monster is humanity.

Ourself. There's some theories of the monster's racism. Oh, okay. There we go. It's very deep. Very deep. I need a watchdog to tell me about that. It was really not a good movie, but it was funny in some like hilarious, like this is

really bad. And then also I listen, you watch it because Netflix at this point, they just, they'll just throw shit out there and we'll just watch. I'm pretty sure that Netflix is going to get to the point in their, like their arc or their company where they're going to start putting movies into theaters. Yeah. You know what would be really cool? Blockbuster.

What would be awesome is if we developed these movies and actually like played them on screens and then later they could come to Netflix. By popcorn and everything. Yeah. Awesome. You have a bird box. I did, I did not think it was that good, but good job by them to trick me into watching it.

I too am interested in the meme, but I haven't gotten around to watching it. So you watch it and then tell me if you think it was good. Okay. Is there a bird in a box in it? There is. Okay. There are actually three birds in a box. Shit.

Let's go. Yep. Multiple birds. You figure that out real quick. Okay. You're like, oh, there's the box. There's the description service that we would like advertise for on this show. Yes.

Bird box. Bark box? You get three weird birds every month. And you have to take care of them. Yeah. See how long you can keep them. Blindfolded. If you can keep them alive for a month, you get your money back.

We should start that. There you go. That would actually be great. All right. Let's get to our interview with Booger McFarland. Before we do that, a quick word from a couple of our sponsors, ExpressVPN with all the recent news about online security breaches. It's hard not to worry about where my data goes, making an online purchase or simply

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When you're with your friends when you're with at the bar on your couch wherever you may be at the tailgate grab an ice cold refreshing Bud Light and you will be satisfied we'll be drinking Bud Light down at the Super Bowl and thank you to our great sponsor Bud Light. Okay, here he is Booger McFarland. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest two time Super Bowl champion. You also hear him in your living room every single Monday night will not anymore because the football season is over. That's very sad.

But it is Booger McFarland and Booger thank you for first of all coming in and second of all we have to get to the bottom before we get all this going we got to get to the bottom of your nickname because your Wikipedia is all over the place. It's wild. It's a crazy ride in that first paragraph. What is it? I've never read it. I'll read it to you.

Okay, so please don't embellish. No, no, no. McFarland received his distinctive nickname during his childhood. He was a self-described bad kid since he was two years old. His bad behavior prompted his mother to call him Booger for which he was teased by his sister because he used used to pick and eat his boogers but I don't know if that part's in there. Okay, all right.

Interesting. By the time he was 10 he was taken to a psychologist for his nose picking. That's true. No, that's not true. That's not true. You didn't see a psychologist. No. When his friends heard his sister calling him Booger they started teasing him with this

nickname as well. The culmination of McFarland being a bad kid happened when he set fire to his family's trash pile while his mother was away nearly burning down his house. Yes, now. That's a wild start. So here's what I can say. Okay. Is that the part about seeing the psychologist is not true.

Okay. But the part about setting fire to the trash pile and almost burning the house down, 100% true. Okay, so what was going through a young booger's mind when you set fire to that, was it just being like, hey, I'm a bad kid? No, so I was actually trying to do so many good things. It was unreal. So we live in a small town and it was my mother, my sister, my brother, and my mother went

to town, like quote unquote town. So it's not like a big city where you just go down the street. You actually had to go where Walmart was to pick up things which was about four or five miles away. Right. So she told me when she left, hey, we're going to take care of the trash when I get back because when you're in the country, you can burn trash. Right.

It's not like California where you're going to set the whole town on fire. You just burn the trash right there and it's good. I'm trying to do good. Mama's gone. I'm going to be the man of the house. I'm going to take care of it all. No more bad kid. No more bad kid.

I'm going to take care of it all before mama gets back and when she gets back, all the trash is going to be burnt. I'm going to get a honey bun or some cookies. It's all good. Uh-huh. And LSU was playing Ohio State. I'll never forget it. They're playing Ohio State.

I go out. I light the fire and I'm like, oh man, the game's kicking off. I go back, watch the entire first half of the game. I come back to the back door and the fire is literally 10 feet from the back door. You leave it unsupervised for an entire half. Well, there's football. Football. I get it.

Almost 90 minutes. It's Saturday. Without a doubt. Yeah. And at that point, I panic. And so I'm like, okay, I can either try to put it out by myself, which I didn't have anything but a water hose, or I can call the fire department at which everyone in this small town is going to know I'm going to get in trouble and it's going to be a long evening.

You're already a bad kid though. Yeah. How old were you at the time? Uh, this was the last time. So I was probably 12 at that point. Wait, the last time. Yeah. This was his retirement from being a bad kid.

You said the last time. There was another time that you set the trash pile. No, no, no. There was another time where let's just say I did things to cause mother to pull out the extension cord and the switch or whatever she wanted and it didn't end pretty for me. Yeah. This was the end of your bad boy days. This was the end.

This was the end. Arson put a cap on it. I turned sane after this. Okay. I like it. But the nickname Booger stuck, so you did not eat your own boogers? No, I never ate my own booger. But you definitely tried.

Well, everybody's picked a nose. You pick your nose. Everybody does. I just don't eat them. But you have once? No, never. Yeah, you have. Everyone's tried.

You've tried it. I've never tried a booger. Have you tried one? Yeah. I've tried a booger. I've never tried a booger. All right. By the end of this interview, you'll admit that you've tried a booger.

So did you, were you ever bothered by the nickname because it says you got teased? Yes, I did. So when I'm in between like four or five and like 10, I would get really bothered because I mean, you're a kid. You want anybody to like you? Kids would tease you booger, booger, booger. I get mad and it's like, okay. And I was a short little fat kid with an afro.

So I've already got like a little complexion there where I'm like, okay, man, this is not going to be, this is not going to be good for me and my childhood. And so the older I got, the more kids teased and the more it bothered me, the more they teased. And so finally, I get to high school. All right. So I'm like 14 now, like a sophomore in high school and kids will continue to call me that. And I've kind of warmed up to it a little bit now because now people know who I am.

So it's not a bad thing. The popularity is going up. I'm still short, fat with an afro, but the popularity is going up. Girls notice. So okay. Now maybe I'm benefiting from this. And so I said to myself, when I go to college, nobody will know and this will be the end of it.

And I'm thinking, okay, three more years. We're good. Sign with LSU, go to LSU first game at Tiger Stadium, place you guys have visited and like I make a tackle. And the announcer comes on and Booger McFarlane will tackle and I turn and look up at the press box. And I'm like, how in the hell did he find this out? And at that point I said, you know what, let's roll with it.

You might as well own it. Yeah. And you know, it's like a boy named Sue situation where you were, you were toughened by that name Booger. You had to deal with some teasing, some taunting. Probably made you a little stronger, a little angry, gave you a little bit more motivation. Mentally tough. It's also branded.

Because if you say the Anthony McFarlane, people are like, who's that? Exactly. Booger McFarlane, everyone knows who you are. I'll tell you a quick story. So when I first got hired by ESPN, the producer comes on and says, hey, you know, the guy back there in the control room is fawning. I'm like, what the hell is that? Well, he's trying to figure out what to type on the screen.

When you come up, he's going to put something below you. He's like, do you want Anthony or Booger? I was like, why wouldn't you put Booger? He's like, I just want to double check. I'm like, that's my name. And you know, people were kind of alarmed that I would go about Booger on national television. I'm like, don't most people go by their name on national TV? Right.

So it was kind of ironic that people thought I would change, but I'm never going to change it. It also said in Wikipedia that you, at one point, picked and flicked a booger at Sports Center anchor Randy Scott. You know what? I like Randy. Randy's from Boston. I've never picked and flicked one at him.

I have made fun of Randy, though, just because he lives in Boston and works at ESPN. That's a hell of a drive. Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah. That's what, like, an hour and a half each way. It's too far. I don't know how far, but it's too far. Yeah, I'm not a fan.

So you haven't flicked a booger? No, I haven't. You need to clean up your Wikipedia page a little bit. I don't even know how to do that, but I'll start to work on that. There's some disambiguation that needs to happen. All right. So let's talk some football. Yeah.

Ready to talk some football? Let's do it. I want to, before we talk a little Monday night football and how the season is gone, I wanted to ask you a question about your former coach and where you won one of your Super Bowls, the Tampa Bay Bucks with John Gruden. The perception from guys like us and from fans is John Gruden has no idea what's going on and he's making a mockery of the Raiders. Tell me how I am wrong.

I don't know if I can. Okay. Here's what I will say. I think, you know, I played for John and John helped me win one of my championships. So I got a lot of respect for John and what he did in Tampa. The reason John got fired in Tampa is because John wasn't a people person and John was very disingenuous to a lot of people down there. And I think that that goes without saying.

And so I watched John for nine years do Monday night football and I'm like, Oh man, this guy's changed. Like things are different now. And then you come out our first game. We go Rams Raiders, you go out, production meeting, John sets down and same John. And I think what you're seeing now is that John loves John. It's about John. And you know, you get rid of Khalil Mackie, get rid of Amari Cooper.

Not sure why in the hell you do that because they're two really, really good players cornerstones you build around and you say, okay, well now we're going to go young. When you go young and NFL, that means you're basically saying we're going to lose and we're figured out later, which is what the Raiders are doing. And I know they won Monday night against Denver and everybody's like, I got all these draft picks, but the bottom line draft picks don't win games. Players do. And when you get good players, you should keep them.

Right. If you got a Khalil Mack, that's, you know, that's all you can hope for out of a first round pick. That's a generational player for your franchise. So when he was coaching you down in Tampa, you know, we see a lot of the stuff with him where he's making his players watch film from, you know, 1975 or whatever. Did he ever break out any of the old film for you guys and be like, Hey, look how they did it back when we wore the creamsicles?

No, because, you know, John was, John was about John, man. So he didn't want to really give a lot of credit to other people. Right. He would pull out some of his own film when he was coaching in Green Bay or Philly and to kind of show you what they, what they did. And, you know, Spider Two, Wild Banana, here's a great play that I came up with, but, uh, he was, John's a really, really good offensive guy. He's a really, really good me guy.

He's, he's, he struggled, which is why I think he's going to have a hard time turning the Raiders, whether they're Los Angeles, Oakland, Las Vegas, whatever you want to call them, turning them back into winners. Because I don't think he can adapt to, to this, this player in this day and age right now, which is a different player. Right. So, so going back to that first production meeting you had with him, it sounds like the relationship is cold.

Like, does he, is he like, Hey, Booger, remember when we want to see you roll together? Is it? John was cordial. He was professional. Um, he and I really don't like each other. I think if you've been around the industry, I think people, you know, you know, you know, people know that. Okay.

John traded me from Tampa. Yep. Um, I get it. You know, I was making a lot of money. You wanted to use the money somewhere else. Fine. I'll tell you a story. This is funny story.

So I get traded and it's kind of, it's kind of devastating. Like you're 27 years old, feeling pretty good. All of a sudden you get a phone call. Hey, we're going to trade you GM, Bruce Allen. Like, okay. So then that's, that's Tuesday at like five o'clock Wednesday morning at 10 o'clock. I got to be on a plane going to Indy and literally changed everything, dude. And I'm like, like it changes everything, how you live, what's going, like it changes

your life. And it took me a while to adjust to that. Now I had great people in Indy. Tony Dungey was phenomenal. It feels good to be wanted, you know, I think we would, we would all agree with that. When the Super Bowl in Indy, come back to Tampa because I was trying to get the hell out of Indy. It was zero degrees.

I'm like, boo, gonna do cold weather. So I got to get back home. Seriously. I land that that night I land, I go to a popular restaurant in Tampa, open the door with my boys, first two people I see, John Gruden in Bruce Allen. And it took everything that I learned as a young man and the respect that my mom taught me not to just say, you know what, screw you, man, right? But I just, I didn't say anything.

I just said, hello, John. Hello. You want to, you want a Super Bowl though. Exactly. Yeah. So that was, to me, I don't believe life has coincidences. I believe life, things happen for a reason. And for me to get traded, go win a Super Bowl, have the ill will toward John, and I'm sure

he has it toward me and to open that door and to look. And there's John and Bruce, just, you know what, that's kind of what life is all about. Yeah, that's a sweet moment. Yeah, absolutely. He strikes me as one of these coaches that comes back for their second bite of the apple, kind of like Joe Gibbs did a few years ago, where you get back and you just say, we're going to play old school football and we're just going to out physical the other team. And that's tough to do because guess what?

Every other player has, or every other team has really strong players as well. So I don't know, he doesn't seem to have adapted his offense at all. He's trying to though, because you know, like right now, like the new thing with offense is what Sean McVeigh's doing, you know, the innovative passing game. Can Derek Carr do some of the things that Jared Goff is doing? Sure, but John's got to open the offense up. Patrick McHomes and Andy Reed. Andy Reed is a classic example of a guy that's reinvented everything he does.

Think about Andy Reed and feel it. West Coast offense, Deakin, Dunk, pretty good quarterback, Donovan McNabb, a lot of success. Now, it's RPO, it's Tyreek Hill, it's Jeff Sweep, it's Patrick McHomes. He's changed the entire game. And that's what coaches do. Coaches adapt to their players. And I think that's the biggest problem so far I've seen with John. John is still about John.

He's still about coming in at 3.17 in the morning, writing his own cue cards. He's got to change that. If he can't, he'll be successful. If he can't, you know, he'll probably be with you guys in a couple years. Ooh, that's okay. We have him on the show for sure. Things like that, it's interesting because I think that a franchise like the Raiders will probably be willing to spend a little bit of money in free agency, but you see some

other franchises like the Redskins, maybe Tampa Bay to a certain extent, where you're out there and you're actively courting free agents, but the kind of guys that are going to join your franchise and take that money are not necessarily the guys that you would want to build a franchise around. Does that make sense to you? Yeah, because, and here's the thing about free agency in the NFL. How many times do you get generational change, generational players changing teams? No, because usually the guys who are free agents are free agents for a reason.

Exactly. And they're, you know, either over the hill or about to be over the hill. Or the team that they're coming from doesn't want them, which usually gives you like a red flag also. Right. I mean, like right now, like this off season, I bet your money and my money, Rob Gronkowski is probably going to be available this off season. Yeah, right.

I would say so too. Man, Gronk's available, but if you watch Gronk play, Gronk isn't the same Gronk anymore. Like he can't run the way he used to, but you'll look at the name Gronkowski and somebody will pay him a boatload of money thinking he can do something for them, but Bill Belichick let him go. And we all think that Bill Belichick is the smartest coach ever. He tried to trade them in the off season. He was destroyed.

That should tell you everything. There you go. Right. That's my point. So if we flashback to your playing career, what's the red flag you would give yourself when you got traded? The red flag I would give myself, not a great pass rusher. Probably a...

You've got to get to the quarterback in the NFL. You have to. I was probably, I'm going to use my own line that I used on Kevin Benjamin. I was probably a couple of Popeyes biscuits too heavy. And I mean, to me, that was the biggest issue. Not a great pass rusher and just a tick heavy. A tick heavy. A tick heavy.

A scotch. Just a small smidgen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. After a little bit. After your playing days are done, you transition into being on the air. How did you decide like, hey, this is the career path for me because I feel like a lot of players want to get into broadcasting after they're done.

They just don't all necessarily make the same transition that you did. You know, man, I got done. I had done my own radio show when I played in Tampa, which was cool because people call in and you know, player shows are different. They kind of filter it, they kind of protect it. You're really not getting a lot of exposure, but what you're getting is live reps on the radio and you're getting comfortable talking to a lot of people. And so that was pretty cool for me and I enjoyed that.

And so you retired 34 years later, I'm like, okay, what am I going to do now? CBS Sports Radio started in Tampa, an opportunity to do radio. I went audition, jumped at it and I started doing radio with this guy named Todd Wright. I don't know if you guys ever heard of him. Used to do ESPN all night with Todd Wright or whatever. And so he and I are a partner and we're doing a show. And the first thing I noticed is that the show is all about Todd Wright. You know, it was all night with Todd Wright.

He's used to doing it from like midnight to 6 a.m. by himself. So imagine doing a two man show and the guy that you're doing a show with never looks at you. He stares at the microphone and smiles at himself in the microphone. So that didn't last, but it lasted about three or four months and I got a new partner and that one lasted about six months. And then finally I got a partner that understood what I would call teamwork is about. And we got along great.

And so I did radio for two years simultaneously at the end of that as CBS is, I mean, we're getting our butts kicked in the ratings and so that's not going well, ESPN comes out with this SAC network. And so I go audition and I'm like, okay, let's see how this goes. And I got hired, did a couple of auditions, got hired and kind of went on from there. And they started to bring you on Mike and Mike. And I remember one time I saw you, I don't think I'd watched you on TV before, but my introduction to Booger was you saying that you could be a professional golfer.

I could beat, not be one. I could beat one. And here's where we talking like the bottom of the peril guys, like, I mean, the guys that are a little over the hill, like the guy from Argentina who still smokes cigars. Oh, that guy's a man. Yeah. No, every now and then you kick the shit out of him. No, he does great in the masters, but then he'll finish like he'll have like an 88.

No, it's like, are you talking Sandy Law? No, I'm talking about Ola's. No, because Jimenez, Miguel, and Hale, Jimenez, the guy that smokes cigarettes. He's like, he's like, I feel like most golfers, it's kind of like the Freddie couples. They basically Freddie boom, boom couples, every year, they will be bad for the most of the year. And then they'll have one tournament. Yeah.

Either the masters of the British open where it's like, oh, here he comes. And they'll kind of like have a little bit of glory days for a couple of rounds. So are you saying you could be like Jordan Spieth? No. Okay. Trevino, all the old guys. Okay, the senior tour. You could do the senior tour.

Yeah. I could beat one of those guys. What do you golf? What do you shoot right now? Yeah. I shoot what I need to shoot. Okay, so that's a lot. So you don't really golf that much, is what I mean?

No, I play a lot, too. Okay. So what do you shoot? Do you beat Greenie? Yes, I beat Greenie. Come on. Greenie golfs a lot. Golf is life for Greenie.

Oh, it is life. Yeah. Greenie and I played around the golf at Marion, Nice Club in Pennsylvania, and I beat him. Greenie and I are going to play again later this month. Okay. I'm going to beat him again. Okay. And average round for me, if I go out and just play average, I'll shoot in the mid-80s.

All right. That's okay. So I guess you could beat a golfer on his worst day, a professional golfer. Yeah. Well, here's the thing about it. Trevino, if he's not 80s, close to 80. Right. Jack Nicklaus, if he's not 80s, close to 80.

At some point, the father time is on my side. I'm 41. I could beat a professional sprinter in a foot race. In what? In a foot race. I saw you walking here. You're not a very good walker. It is.

I saw you walking here. Ben Johnson, right now. Well, he's still on the stuff, isn't he? This is one of those ones that you can never prove, too. I have the theory that no one in the world can beat me in every single sport. And I list all the sports. Like, I'm talking about dart throwing. Can you touch your toes?

Yeah, I can touch. Well, I'm working with a back injury. This is actually going to air in 2019, Year of the Core. Yeah. This is going to air on January 2nd. Year of the Core. But right now, I'm still not... Okay, stop.

I have not started Year of the Core. Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop. Well, we're taping this. When you say Year of the Core, I need a little bit more... I'm going to get my core nice and... So, I hurt my back playing basketball, and then I went into the doctor, and they're like, yeah, basically, your core is just like a big round tire that doesn't support anything. Right.

So, I'm going to strengthen that shit. How are you going to do it? I don't know. We've got to figure that out. 2019 is rapidly approaching. It's two days away. Yeah, it's two days away. So, get back to me in two days.

What was your 40-time? My best 40-time was at my pro day. I ran 4-5. You're written. You did not run 4-5. What's your bench? I benched 225, what, 27? That's such a nice...

You really ran a 4-5? So, here's the deal. So, at my pro day, which is different from the combine, at the combine, the combine is a rigorous test of what they try to just basically beat you in the submission mentally and physically just to see how you're going to react. Right. And I ran 4-8 at the combine because I was just shot. I was just dead tired.

They wake you up. Long story short, I just... You're not a morning person. No, I am a morning person. I ran 4-8, which was the fastest by defensive tackle at the combine. But that was slow for me. So, my pro day, which was a month later, on my own turf, my own time... You had a cajun...

I was a guy doing the watch. No, this was timed by a professional scout. Okay, yeah. I ran 4-5, 9-4, 6-1 at 3-0-5. That's why I was the first... Had a tailwind. It was indoors. There was no wind.

Interesting. AC. All right? That's what this was. Okay. That's what this was. All right. Let's talk...

Let's talk Monday Football. Let's do it. What would you say the grade for Monday Football? I'm sure you have seen both the positive and negative reaction to the entire season. Right? Listen, we see it all. We understand it all. Here's how we approach...

Here's how I approach it. I'll speak for myself. I'll grade it or look at how we view it at the end of the year. Like, we still got a playoff game next Saturday or Sunday. Yep. It depends on which game we get. No, you get the Saturday. We don't know that yet.

Oh, no, I know you. No, you know. You get the Saturday afternoon. Yeah, we don't know that. That's not said in stone. I do know that. No, that's not said in stone. All right.

Make sure you book your flight. You have Saturday afternoon. I haven't booked my flight yet. Unless you know something. Do you want to break some news here? No. I mean, you guys always get Saturday afternoon. Okay.

I mean... Yeah. It doesn't mean it's always going to stay the same. You don't know where it is going to be. It doesn't mean it's going to stay the same, though. Okay. All right. We got the Pro Bowl.

Yep. And we're actually doing the Super Bowl for ESPN International. That's right. That's first reported by me. Yeah. I actually broke that news on the show. You broke news? Yeah.

Insider, huh? Insider information. Yeah, so you guys are doing like the Australian broadcast, right? Yeah, correct. Correct. So once all is done, I'll sit back and evaluate it. Here's what I will say now, though. Been some really, really good moments.

Been some moments that you say, okay, we need to clean those up. I think overall, for three guys that have never worked together and you can't lease in, so our team are four. The main thing you want to say from game one to game, what, 16, I mean, we did. The show got better. The show was different the other night because I was in the booth the other night. Yeah. Which was different.

You know, we'll see how people like that. But overall, I feel really, really good about what we did. So about that, being in the booth versus being in the booger mobile. So, did you feel like it was hard to get a flow when you're basically not with the two guys that you have to talk to? Were there moments when you felt like you were budding in or maybe you got stepped on and your point wasn't able to get across? It's different.

And here's how I equate it, because here's the technology that we have. I don't know. Do you guys have kids? No. Okay. Not that I know of. Do you have anybody significant in your life? Yeah.

Sure. You're looking at them. Yeah. Big cat and a hank. A hank, yeah. Okay. I care about goldfishes right out there. We look each other in the eyes on this show.

Okay. Now, okay. I'm trying to equate this. So do you guys use FaceTime? Yeah. Who do you use? Who do you FaceTime? Millennials FaceTime.

Yeah. Usually my mom accidentally presses FaceTime. Okay. Here we go. Your mom. Now, if you were to FaceTime your mom. Uh-huh. All right.

And you're looking at her and you're talking to her. It's pretty real time. Yeah. You can see her move. You can see her mannerisms and all that good stuff. Is it the same conversation that you have in person? No. No.

You can see her. Why not though? It's different. It's different. So it's the same thing. Because you can see yourself and I'm always like, look, you look so fat. You're looking at your neck. You have a big neck.

Like there's not 2019 yet, Booger. There's a square thing. What does the core have to do with the neck though? It's the whole thing. It's the whole thing. Yeah. It works. That's a lot.

So here's what I'll say. Is that that's the technology that we have. We have the equivalent of FaceTime. Okay. And so we're looking at each other. And so obviously, can it be really good? Yeah. But is it going to be as good as when you're in person?

No. Because it's just like FaceTime. FaceTime is great technology, but it doesn't. It cannot ever take the place of being face to face with somebody. So the whole concept behind the Booger Mobile, of which I am a fan. I like the Booger Mobile. Anything that's like a little bit different, a little bit crazy, appeals to me as a football fan kind of.

Gotcha. The intent behind it was you could get a perspective from the sidelines essentially that they couldn't get up in the booth. Correct. Is there a certain team or player that you watched this year from the Booger Mobile that doesn't necessarily translate to television like it did to you watching that guy a little bit closer to the field? So here's what I'll say.

And this was the first instance. And I think if you were to go back and watch the broadcast that it really came into play. Denver, Kansas City. Remember Showtime Mahomes out in Denver? There was a point where Denver's dominating that game. I mean, they are just kicking Kansas City, you know what. And Andy Reed, for the first time I ever saw this, literally stopped coaching the team. Like he took his headset off and went and sat on the bench next to Patrick Mahomes and

kind of put his arm around and was like, hey man, what's going on? And it was like that moment where you're like, you don't see this. You never see a head coach just stop coaching the game. Like the defense is on the field and he's sitting there talking to Patrick. And I noticed that and I hit the producer. I'm like, hey, you guys, we got to get this. And so we get that and we show that shot. And it just brought a whole new, a whole new perspective to what was going on.

Because here's this young quarterback that's taking the league by storm, having his first moment where you're like, okay, is he breaking? Is he cracking? And Andy Reed, the father figure, Big Red comes over, sits down, and I got a bird's eye view of that. And to me, that was the first moment where you say, okay, now we're getting a different perspective than what you normally get. Because normally when the guys on the sideline, like Lisa does a phenomenal job at sideline reporting, but where the head coach goes is she's not going to do that.

She's looking for injuries and stories and all these different things. So I was able to see that. And I think that's something that brought a lot to the broadcast that people really like. I like it. So how much of the criticism do you listen to? Because I think that, I mean, we've, you know, we've said that, you know, we criticize all the broadcasts, except Joe Buck. And we won't criticize you anymore.

That's how we came on the show. So we're going to protect you. So if you want to tell, if you want to tell Whitton, like, hey, you know how to get the most powerful guys on your side, just come on the show. I have the ability to do this. And this is the unique thing about me. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. And so I have the ability to read it, see it all.

And I don't see it all, but I see a lot of this stuff. Yeah. And I can look at it, laugh, critique it, say, you know what, this guy's far off base, or maybe there's a valid point. And I can look at it and move on and not think any more about it. Okay. And so criticism doesn't bother me. Just like praise doesn't bother me.

I'm not the type of guy that'll see criticism and then my whole day's ruined. Or I'll see praise and now I'm walking around like I got, you know, huge stones. Like I don't, I don't, it doesn't really bother me. So yes, I see it. Yes. I see the articles. Hell, some of the guys that write the articles, I know. And the only thing that I hope people who critique me and our crew is just be fair.

Right. Because that's what I do on the air. Like when I talked about Kelvin Benjamin, everybody looked at the line. He's a Popeye's biscuit away from being a tight end. That's a, it's a line. It's clever, but it's true. He's a heavy, wide receiver. Yes.

Yes. So it's not like I'm sitting up here making up, like I'm just being fair. Right. They cut him and he moved on or whatever. But my point being is, even though we try to entertain, because that's what we do. Like that's what you guys do. We're trying to entertain people, give some knowledge, make it a fun listen. That's all we're doing on money night football.

That's the reason I enjoy so much is because I get 10 to 15 million people that I get a chance to talk to football, talk about football to them, entertain them and hopefully they enjoy spending a few hours with us. And so when it comes to the criticism, I can deal with all that because I'm going to be real on the air. And as long as you're real with me, I'm fine. That's the bottom line. I think the only criticism I had this year of you was I'd like to see on a horse at

some point on the instead of the book about, do you do horses? I've been on a horse one time. I couldn't get the horse to stop. Yeah. That's the problem. That'd be fun. Just like a little extra chaos. Put you on a horse on the sidelines.

Who's going to clean the horse poop up when he, when he drops to low because horses like drop loads every 30 seconds. Yeah. Just have Trey Wingo fall. Yeah. He's got it. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's basically that you guys, and I think you'd probably agree in a way that like, hold up, just say it. Don't say it. No, no, no, no. I'm going to say it. I'm trying to, I'm trying to think of the way to say it. Don't phrase it. Just say it.

You, you, Jason Witton and Tess really didn't have great chemistry to start the season. I think it got better, but it's hard to throw three guys who don't know. I assume you didn't know them, right? I knew Tess, because Tess did my first audition at ESPN. I didn't know Jason. Right. But it's like any show. The chemistry that you can't, like if you threw someone else in here, it would be different.

Correct. So like, how did you work on that? Did you guys go do like, trust falls? Did you do, you know, like, let's go get drunk together? Like, like painting with a twist, you get drunk. Yeah. Or diversity blues. You go to the strip club till one, you know, till the second landing strip.

It's been a long time since I've been to the strip club. First of all, number one. Well, you did play in Tampa, so. I mean, they got a six to a rule of the temple. Yeah. Yeah. The Odyssey, all those. We spent a lot of time together.

And you're right. I'll give you credit for that because chemistry is a, is a, is a byproduct of relationship. Having a relationship with someone and the only way to do that is to spend time with them. So obviously we tried to spend a lot of time together. We did spend hours. We did lots of rehearsals. But it's something about when that red light comes on for real, it changes your mindset. And I think the more on air experience we've gotten, the more comfortable we've gotten.

But you're right. Chemistry is something that's tough to get. And it was made even tougher by our setup, which we knew was going to be that. That was the big thing. Right. Because it was, there was a lot of times where, and we joked about it, like, oh. I talk about everything. Yeah, we do.

But like, oh, Booger and Witton are mad at each other. Right. But I think there was, that was partially chemistry and partially because you're in a different room, you know, you're, you're on the Booger Mobile, he's up in the booth. And it's hard to joke with someone that you are just working with for the first time. And you can't see their facial expressions because. Right. That's a good point.

I didn't actually think about that. You can see them, but you can't really kind of feel them. You can't see like, oh, they know that I'm joking. Exactly. Because you're just looking on the screen. Right. So, yeah. So there was a little bit of.

No. No, Jason's, Jason's great. I don't know about all that. Jason's tremendous dude. Like, of all the guys I've worked with on TV, I've worked with Greg McRoy, Palmer, like all the guys that we know. Jason is one of the more knowledgeable about football I've ever been around. Like he sees the game like a quarterback.

He's a team guy. Like anytime you're a team captain, you have to be a team guy. Like they don't put that C on your chest for the Dallas Cowboys for no reason. I just figured Jerry Jones just picked a guy that he liked the best. No, Jerry, like Jerry's smart now. Jerry got the city of Dallas to pay for his building. Like Jerry's one of the smartest businessmen we know. He's definitely rich.

Yeah. He's rich and smart. Working with Jason has been very, very enjoyable. I've learned a lot from him. And I think he's learned a lot from myself and Tess because we've done TV longer than he has. People, you know, I see people all the time and people even tweeted to you like, yeah, Booger and Jason should just get in the ring and just get it out.

But no, he and I get along great. Like we've shared a little vino together. Like, exactly. Just enjoying each other. He's phenomenal dude. And I think that the more the chemistry continues to evolve, the more people will see that. Yeah.

I think it's been tough to see just because we've been working through that all season long. Oh, I think it definitely got better as the season went along. There was a moment to the beginning of the season, September and early October. Because you're trying to find your way. Like I've been on TV before. Yeah. Like I've done a lot of TV.

I've done TV at the highest level, you know, with Mike and Mike, all these different show. Like I've done that. I like that. That's the highest level. Yeah, it is. No, it is. I'm a big fan. I'm the biggest Mike and Mike fan all the time.

Mike and Mike, the college football national championship. Like Super Bowl Dread. Like I've done... SEC Network with Tim Tebow. Absolutely. What is it? The SEC Nation? Come on baby.

Like all that good stuff. That's big time. So doing a lot of TV. This is the first time on TV when it counts. Like preseason is cool. Like it's like if you guys were doing a podcast and we're only going to give it out to people that grow up in Long Island on 35th Street. Okay.

It's like a preseason game. Imagine taking that same podcast, the same mindset. Now you're about to give it out to the whole five boroughs. Right. It's a preseason for you guys too. Well it was. Yeah. August 16th.

Who do we have 16th? I think we had Redskins Jets. And then with the 20th we did Colts Ravens. Yeah. So we had two preseason games. And then September the 10th, it was Rams Raiders. Everybody's watching the game. That's when we actually thought John Groot knew what he was doing.

That's right. Yeah. That's right. Because they were like tied at halftime, right? I'm so old out of this. Yeah, that's right. One guy knows how to make adjustments. I took the Raiders that game.

Hold on. You did what? I bet on the Raiders in that game. We bet on every. The points? Yeah. I was looking good at halftime. That's why they play full court.

I know. I lost a lot of money on the Raiders this year. I was like, they're due. They're absolutely due. I remember. But I think one thing that probably hampered Jason a little bit and you alluded to this is this is the first time, you know, not being a football player and being a broadcaster, you have to learn how to make fun of yourself sometimes and how to be like self-effacing.

And when you're a football player, you don't always have to do that. I think that you had experience like having had some fun. Like, I know Jason had a couple like slip-ups early in the season, pulled a rabbit out of his head or whatever. And you learn how to like joke around about that. And he made fun of his own self. Yeah. Self-deprecation is a great quality in TV.

It's a tremendous, tremendous quality because it humanizes you. It makes people say, you know what, this guy's not stuck up. This guy's not a butthole. You know, he. No, seriously. Just like, it's not a robot. Is he a robot? Is Jason a robot?

No, Jason's a robot. What about the hair? I've never touched his hair. But like, I guess his hair is a thing. Well, it's six. Well, he didn't have it, and now he's got it. He magically grew some. See, I never paid attention to this.

These are the things that us fans do. We pay attention to the stupidest shit when we're watching football. You'd be surprised. We're real assholes when you're going to break it down. If you got inside me and Big Cat's brain while we were watching a football game, you'd be like, where the fuck am I? These guys are not football fans. So people talk about his hair.

Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes. What's new hair? Like, hey, his hair is looking new. Like Brian Ehrlacher grew hair. He's like a Lego man. Ehrlacher's weird. To go from no hair to like the Al Bundy deal.

Yeah, he didn't do that. But yeah, I mean, he's got a little paint job. I've never noticed this. Look, I dye my hair. I am actually overdue for one. I get the gray hair. Just be natural. No, because it makes me feel young.

You can't be gay. Here we go, guys. So if you're okay dyeing your hair, are you okay getting a tummy tuck for the core? Ooh. You want to get some lipo? I'm asking. I would absolutely do lipo. I knew we'd figure out a way to get this year's core a little shortcut.

But tummy tuck is not going to help the core. Well, it's going to help the aesthetics. It will start, right? No. Any weight off the core of the core. The core is a muscle. You're just taking the fat off. You know what you do?

You do that to start because you have to build off something. So you lose a little bit of weight immediately by doing the tummy tuck. Yeah, right. Now all of a sudden you've got the energy to go into the gym. Now I can run. Yeah. I'm going to get lighter. See?

Thanks. Good idea. But right now I can't even run. Right now I'm like, are you a dietitian? You should be. Yeah. That's amazing advice. I did lose.

So when I got done playing, so let's go back in the story. So retired 30, those four years between 30 and 34 where I started broadcasting. I got up to like 336. And I mean, I was walking around. A lot of biscuits. I mean, that's a whole case of chicken too. And finally one day I looked myself in the mirror and I'm trying to button my shirt to tie on.

And I'm having to suck my neck in and it's like, you know what? I'm fat. Yeah. My sweatshirt didn't zip up the other day. That's not good. That's bad. Sweatshirt. And at that point, I used to sweat everywhere.

I'm like being that guy. You know exactly what I feel now. Yes. Yes. It's not healthy. No. And so I dropped 45, 48 pounds. Damn.

Yeah. And it's not as hard as you think. Yeah. But the biggest thing you got to do is mental. Like the mental training you got to do for yourself. I'm a pretty mentally strong guy. You know what? We should hypnotize you too.

I would do that. Hypnotize. Do you believe in hypnosis? I absolutely believe in hypnosis. Oh, how about you hypnotize me and then get me addicted to cigarettes and then I'll lose the weight that way. Cigarettes? Well, yeah.

If you smoke cigarettes, you lose weight. No. That's why Virginia Slim's, bro. Why don't you just vape? Just vape. Yeah, we do vape. You're such a millennial. Jeez.

You know, I get started with your diet right now. Okay. All right. So I have two final questions. Yeah. C-keek question. Put in promo code TAKY at $10 off. C-keek purchase.

We got to ask you, uh, pissing your pants. Yeah. Yeah. People made a big deal out of that. Well, no, we're on your side. Mm-hmm. Like, why would you go? Like, we're in Atlanta and then, you know, Lisa comes on.

O'Dell's going to the locker room to use the bathroom. That's a long walk just to do what I feel like most guys have done, but they're ashamed to say it. Yeah. We're not. Like, when you're in the middle of a game, the pants you have on are already sweaty anyway. Yep.

You're going to have to do the laundry. They got to wash them anyway. Yep. All right. And so if you have on white pants, really, it doesn't matter the color of pants, but white's better, especially if you're really hydrated, because if you're not, then they're going to be yellow. Yeah.

I mean, that's a little too detailed. But if you, like, regardless, you're sweating anyway. Why would I go all the way back to the locker room and maybe miss an important snap that I could help my team? Why not just let it go and move on? Yeah. Did you stick the towel down the pants or did you just go? No, I just went.

I was sweating already. I played in Tampa. It's 99 degrees. Like, my toes are sweaty. Yeah. It's humidity, too. Yeah, the whole nine. I think the kickers are the ones mostly that put the Gatorade towel down the front.

That's smart. I might start doing that. Did you ever pee yourself on the booger mobile? No. No. You ever think about it? No. What do you do for the bathroom up there?

Go before you get up there. And then half time you come down? Half time you come down, then you go. What's the food situation? Yeah, I got a couple of questions. The question is, we have great people that bring food. So my dinner on Monday nights is turkey and cashews. I'm a big...

Protein. Yeah. There you go. Come on. I'm trying to be healthy. Those are the long-acting fats, too, from the cashews. It gives you energy. When the hell'd you become a doctor?

I know. I'm getting big arms this year. He's still here at the core. I'm just going to be like... You can't even grow facial hair. That's true. That's true. I'm noticing that.

I'm noticing that. I'm getting deeper that you realized right now. That's going to be something we're going to have to talk about after. Oh, for real? I will be the first to admit that my facial hair game is very, very bad. There's no sugar coating it. But here's how you can tell. It's because...

No, please, yeah. No, seriously. I'm staying at you right now. And people that can't grow facial hair, if you would just keep it all low, nobody would notice. But you got the little goatee. That's right. I got a goatee. A little goatee.

No, I got a goatee. You're right. You have a little one. A bottom of one. You have a little goatee. Okay. And it's not doing much once it leaves the teapot. No, it's not.

It doesn't connect on the sides. That's my point. Yeah. But nobody would know. Forget the sides. So should I just go straight up? Should I shave all of it? You have a chin strap.

You have a chin strap. Don't do that. You have the chin. If I shave all of it, see, I got long hair too. I'm afraid that more people will mistake me for a woman. Go to the one. Like, keep the one everything and you'll be fine. Okay.

Let me see your hands. I always like seeing your hands on TV. That's a football guy's hand right there. Sean Alexander Emmett Smith. Okay. Yeah. This is in college. This is Emmett Smith.

Okay. Which one are you more proud of? This one. What's that one? The one that's not messed up? Exactly. Did you get it fixed? Does this look fixed?

Could you get it fixed? Why would I want to do that? I don't know. I've had seven surgeries. I don't want any more. No, it's cool. Let me snap it. No.

Just be the greatest content ever. Why would you want to do that? Let me snap it. Just let me do it. Come on. It's like popping a pimple. Let me snap it. As long as I can hold a golf club,

I'm never going to get them fixed. That's all you need. I've got a couple more booger-mobile-related questions. All right. Go ahead. Does it have a seatbelt? Two.

Oh, what's the second one for? Kind of a beta move. Did you put it on a helmet? I don't know. Two up. Just in case the first one doesn't work. I'm a parachute, too. I'm afraid of heights.

Eight feet up. Ten. Ten feet up. You're fine. You might sprain your ankle. Could you jump down from ten feet? You can't even touch your toes. Yeah, I can jump down from ten feet.

I would probably sprain my ankle, but I can jump down from ten feet. Yeah, but I have a couple seatbelts. Okay. Does it have an iPhone charger? Absolutely. Built-in. Yes.

Nice. Seat warmer? No. We have a heater that we put up there in Cold Game. Okay. Space heater. Yes. Remember to turn it off.

Well, that's not my job. Yeah, but you got issues. Don't keep any trash piles around the booger-mobile. Absolutely. You've got the space heater on there. Can you get a DUI on the booger-mobile? Well, I don't drive it, so no. Oh, okay.

Yeah, but that's luxurious. Yeah, I have a driver's name. I'm ashamed. I don't know that. Oh, wow. Damn. All right, last question from me. Super Bowl, give me the match-up and the champion and why?

Match-up champion. I'm going for a little bit of, let's go Chargers. Okay, I like it. Saints. Yeah. Okay. That would be a great game. Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers.

All that. Drew Brees, that whole thing. Revenge game against his old team. Yeah. I like Charger Saints. All right, Booger. This has been a ton of fun. It's all good, man.

You're welcome back any time. You're a current guest now, so you actually have to come back. Yeah, cool. So we'll do this again soon. Any time, man. We'll call on you. Appreciate you guys having me, man. Thanks so much.

And in the meantime, sit-ups or Laipo. Laipo. We'll do Laipo a little combo. Just for me and our propitia, try either one. Yeah, we'll have. I've tried. There we go. Ready to go.

I've tried the last team. We're going to crush it. Neither worked. Yeah. That interview was brought to you guys by Simply Safe. If we all put off doing things we know we need to do. I mean, we know we need to organize the garage. We know we need to, I don't know, hit the gym more often.

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So I guess Antonio Brown did not show up basically to practice for the last two weeks at all. Pretty much. At one point, he threw a football at a teammate's feet. You want to say who that teammate was? Well, it was Big Ben. Allegedly. As dangerous as dangerous gets throwing something at Big Ben's feet. That's Big Ben's job to throw balls at his teammate's feet.

Right. But, dude, he wasn't even wearing his walking boots. It could have been a disaster before him. It could have been another walking boot. There you go. You can't do two walking boots at once. So I have a question for you, P.F.D. Antonio Brown, is he the best player who has hid the fact that he's kind of a dickhead?

I don't think he's really hit it that well. But I think he has. In this year's... He's sort of fan-tucked himself? Yeah, it's kind of come out. Listen, Big Ben also is a dickhead. Like, this is the great part about the Steelers. Everyone wants to pick someone to blame.

But how can it just be Levy on Bell's kind of a dickhead and Antonio Brown's kind of a dickhead, Big Ben's kind of a dickhead. Todd Haley. Todd Haley's a dickhead. And Mike Tomlin can't control anyone. Like, that's pretty much how it goes, right? Yeah, it's a city of dickheads. And sometimes dickheads all get along together for a few years.

But then when you have three players that are really, really good all at the same time, that's not going to last forever. I'm just glad that the diva wide receiver discussion is back in full form. Between him and Odell Beckham and Larry Fitzgerald. Always retiring. Larry Fitzgerald. The diva wide receiver debate is happening. Adam Thielen yelling in his quarterback.

That's right. A lot of divas out there. So now they're looking to possibly trade Antonio Brown. Which is crazy. Well, Big Ben has a direct line to the ownership in that city. So if anybody fucks a Big Ben, he can have you killed in a matter of minutes. Just put you on a motorcycle and push you off into the distance. So I think they're going to try to trade them.

I think that there will be a lot of teams that are looking to trade for them too. Yeah. It's just so weird because this whole season, like the Steelers, in a weird way, I thought they were almost better this year than last year, but they didn't make the playoffs. Right. And the whole season was kind of in disarray from the start with the Levy on Bell thing. And then Antonio Brown not showing up. The craziest part about this whole story is actually to me, it's not the Antonio Brown

Big Ben thing. I get that. Like they probably have, or just at odds, will never work together again. They don't like each other. I'm not even going to blame either side. They probably just don't like each other. It's the fact that Mike Tomlin went and was like, hey, he's got a knee and basically caped for a guy quitting on his team.

It was crazy. They keep things indoors in Pittsburgh. That's what Mike Tomlin says. We keep things indoors. Give us the Mike Tomlin quote. Yeah. Then Big Ben, he also has been keeping things indoors for the last couple of days. And I don't know what that report's about.

When it was pretty obvious that Big Ben talked to somebody earlier off the record. Yeah. So you think he's going to get traded? I think he's going to get traded. I think the craziest part of the story was like, you got to really fuck up to get benched, to be the best player on your team, and get benched during a game or for a game that would get you into the playoffs. But I don't think he got benched.

I think he just didn't show. No. From what I understand, he didn't practice all week. Mike Tomlin said, oh, he's got a knee problem. Then he showed up on game day. Expecting to play? Yeah. And they were like, no.

And then he left at halftime. Oh, man. It's just such a shit show. Was there a boat involved at all? I have no idea. And the Steelers, like, we love Pittsburgh. I think Steelers fans are some of the best fans in football. But man, this whole, this is like an embarrassment train wreck of a season for the Steelers.

Yeah. And Mike Tomlin's going to keep his job. Wait. Can the Steelers be on hard knocks? Oh. They didn't say them in that list. Yes. But they didn't make the playoffs.

They don't have a new coach. Don't have a new head coach. What's the other one? And they haven't been on hard knocks in the last, like, four to five years. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever it might be. I think so.

I think the Rooney family probably has something to say about that. Yeah. They're like, hey, Roger. They're executive producers of hard knocks. Yes. You're not fucking putting us on hard knocks. Yeah. All of our secrets.

Not the Steeler way. The whole thing is crazy. All right. Next up, we have a new segment alert. Hank. So this one we're going to call Blueprint Busters. And this happens often on Twitter and online where the Blueprint comes out for either a team or how to build a team.

Yeah. Whatever it may be. We've figured it out. They've cracked the code. All you got to do is X, Y, and Z and you can win a championship. So the Blueprint Buster that has been the hot one has been this stat that people are tweeting out that the top six paid quarterbacks in the NFL this year, none of them made the playoffs.

Okay. So you shouldn't pay a good quarterback? Don't pay quarterbacks. Okay. Yeah. So, and then the busting part is we actually looked into it a little bit. And so it's Aaron Rodgers, $33.5 million. Matt Ryan, $30 million.

Kirk Cousins, $28 million. Jimmy G, $27.5 million. Matt Stafford, $27 million. Derek Carr, $25 million. $25 million. Is Aaron Rodgers the most overpaid athlete in sports? Is that what they're getting at here? Yeah.

The convenient part about this entire stat was the fact that number seven is Drew Brees, who gets paid $5,000 less than Derek Carr. So you're telling me that $5,000 has made the difference in the roster building in Oakland. That's like gas money for a year. Yeah. Andrew Luck is like $50,000 less than Derek Carr. So he's number seven. Poor AF.

Also made the playoffs. And then there's Russ Wilson, Phil Rivers, Tom Brady, and the Eagles QBs combined, all being paid over $20 million. So not that much of a difference. You're not counting all the like Bitcoin payments that go to Tom Brady though behind the scenes. And just else money. Yeah.

So essentially the entire theory that you should just draft a young quarterback and never pay a quarterback makes no sense because half of the playoffs are quarterbacks that are going to be paid $20 million or more. And essentially they're saying don't, and Matt Ryan, who was paid the second most, had like his best year. Yeah. If you actually look at his numbers, he had like this year. Yeah.

He was like fourth, like DVOA not to get nerdy, but he had a really good year. Whoa. So essentially the argument that people are tweeting out that you shouldn't pay a quarterback boils down to just don't pay Kirk Cousins or Matt Stafford. That works. That's it. I'm behind any stat that gets to that conclusion. I actually did some digging of my own.

Okay. Check this out. So we've learned that you don't pay quarterbacks. You know who you should pay? Yeah. Take a guess. What position do you think you should pay? Offensive one.

Kicker. Strong safeties. Ooh. Five out of the top six paid strong safeties are in the playoffs. There we go. Starting numbers one and two, Eric Barron, Cam Chancellor. So it's even better if you're paying guys that are injured. Yeah.

If you can pay an injured strong safety $12 million a year, that's your ticket to making the playoffs. There we go. So we just busted that because PFT just threw out that stat that is equally as irrelevant is the stat that people are throwing out. Go get you an injured box safety. I love it too that they're like Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan. Would you, are you saying the Packers shouldn't have paid Aaron Rodgers?

Yeah. Trash. Yeah. Wasting money. And then Jimmy G who got Kirk. Donors. The argument is not you should draft a young quarterback and build your team around a young quarterback salary because like we said, half of the playoffs are not that case.

The argument is don't give Kirk Cousins a shitload of money, which you really didn't even have to tweet that to prove. I could have told you that four years ago. Yeah. We could have just, we could have showed you game tape from Sunday, been like, hey guys, don't pay Matt Stafford a ton of money. Don't pay Kirk Cousins. You know what the real crime is in paying Kirk Cousins $84 million?

I'll tell you what it is. Not that he sucks and that he's never going to win you a Super Bowl. It's that he's going to take all that money and he's going to spend it in the lamest ways possible. Yeah. He's not even going to do anything cool with his money. Dude, I could not agree more. He's going to bury it in Mane's jars in his side yard, not even his backyard.

Listen, being rich and being that lame is a crime. Yeah. It is a crime. Kirk Cousins is a crime against humanity. He should be fined $84 million for having $84 million and being lame with it. $84 million and he's fucking grilling his steaks with tin foil. Think about that. Yeah.

That makes you sick. And he's driving a new conversion van. I'm not talking shit about conversion vans. He was living with his parents until like two years ago. What does Kirk Cousins even do next year? There's not a Vikings fan that likes, right? Take up painting. There's not one.

Show me a Vikings fan that likes Kirk Cousins. He becomes like George Bush after his presence. He starts painting dogs. I mean, it's, it's, that's a bad situation. So there's the moral of the story. Not, you got to draft a young quarterback, which yeah, of course, if you could draft Patrick Mahomes or, you know, Jared Goff or Mr. Biscay. Every franchise.

Yeah, Mr. Biscay. Yeah. They should all have those like, do not serve this man signs in the front of every single front office in the NFL to just be Kirk Cousins face. Yeah. Do not give this man money. Do not give this money. Oh, by the way, I totally forgot that part of the, the whole argument that you should

have a cheap quarterback and build around them, Joe Flacco's getting paid $22 million a year. That counts for the Ravens. So they, they didn't build around a cheap quarterback. They have a really expensive quarterback and they drafted a quarterback. So throw that one out. So there's actually only so maybe Mahomes, Jashon Watson, Jared Goff and Mr. Biscay. I guess DAC is about to get paid too. Yeah.

But it's, it's more than half the playoffs is guys who are getting paid a lot. I like the first step better though. Yeah. Just don't, I like your, yeah, don't pay Kirk Cousins. Don't pay Matt's ever. That's blueprint busters. Yep. We should do it again.

Got to the bottom of it. Get us, get us the stats that make no sense that, that people just, it's the retweet stats. It's the ESPN stats and info. They're like, check this out. You know what? They got too cute with it. Right. And everyone's like, oh my God, that's, oh, we could build a franchise.

Just draft a quarterback and build the defense around them. All right. Last up. Oh no, we have take quick and then guys on checks. So the take quick we have, and I'm going to read this to you, PFT. I want your initial thoughts. So there was a lot of whale talk, save the whales, 2000, like there's a whale, whale account.

Is there a whale shortage? So there's a whale account that tweeted out, hopefully 2019 is better than us. You know, like, okay, don't feel like I, I love whales. I want whales to survive, but don't do the pity on Twitter thing. Well, I think whales could use a stronger social media presence. Right. You've got like cute dog accounts. You've got otters that are being body shamed and getting all sorts of reasons.

What do you have for whales? But don't you agree that the whale, a whale tweeting at the start of 2019, hopefully this year is better for us. Come on. Yeah. Listen, also we've got bigger shit to deal with right now, whales. Yeah. Like I had your moment in like the early nineties when we did the whole save the whales thing.

Right. Exactly. I'm pretty sure we saved you. You had a pretty strong decade back then. Yeah. Right now. Listen, you live underwater. I, if every whale died tomorrow, I wouldn't know for at least probably five years.

Yeah. We wouldn't find out for five years. You know what? You want to save the whales? Get Dr. Paul Watson or whatever the hell his name is out of jail. I think he's in jail in like Australia because he killed a guy. Who's Paul Watson? The whale wars guy.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's in jail, but get him out of jail. Yeah. He's a real writer, made that guy with that dude from, from training that you go to school today.

Yeah. That guy was badass. Don't lie to me. All right. So John McAfee, who created the antivirus sits on your computer, he tweeted out in against the whales saying enough of the whale fucking is non-consensual bullshit. A humpback whale weighs 70,000 pounds is 50 feet long, can dive more than a quarter mile and can crush ships with a single swipe of its tail.

If a human manages to fuck one, you damn well better believe it's consensual. Yeah. I remember we put whales on the hot seat like a month ago because this guy was talking so much about how he tried to fuck a whale. I actually stand with McAfee on this one. If you can fuck one. If you can fuck it, go, yeah. You got it.

Go for it. I don't have any problem with that. It's like. Also whales, you can't have it both ways and be like no one's paying attention to us and then be like, oh, you can't, I don't want the antivirus guy to fuck with me. Fuck me, right. Yeah. Right.

You should, you should let John McAfee fuck you. Get more, like that's a story. You should be so lucky. Right. Right. That's, listen, no publicity is bad publicity. Also whales, just take one for the rest of the earth because I don't think anyone else wants to fuck.

What's his name? Pat, no. John McAfee. John McAfee. No. Not fucking whales. No, he's not fucking whales. Thanks for the shout out by the way.

Yeah. Appreciate that. Pat on the Alliance Packers game. Not a whale fucker. No, not a whale fucker. And John McAfee might not be either. But I think he could. He's like, he's athletic enough where I bet.

His legs are strong. I bet you Pat could fuck a whale if he wanted to. He's got chonk booty. Yeah. He does. He could probably get one of those whales. Yeah, if you can get, if you can wrangle a whale, listen, they call them sperm whales for a reason.

You're supposed to fuck them. I don't know how we got to end it up here, but that's a take quake. And by the way, we are pro save the whale podcast and we're also pro fucking whales. If you can. We won't, but if you can, I don't want to shame anybody who can whose agency. If you figure out a way to do it, I will look the other way. So we're actually apathetic towards whale fucking. That's just want to clarify our stance.

We have no true feeling one way or the other now about whale fucking. Absolutely none. What happens in the ocean stays in the ocean when it comes to whale fucking. Did we clean that? Is that okay? I think it's fine. All right. Okay.

We don't want to encourage anybody to because then that's blood on our decks. Yeah. Oh Jesus. Uh, guys on checks, this check said, when I was younger, I would look at old photos of my grandparents and parents and I thought they genuinely lived in a black and white world. Did anyone else experience this or do I have an extraordinarily low IQ? Yes.

Uh, yeah. I thought the world was black and white for sure. And then I saw Pleasantville when I was like 11 years old and I was like, no, some people had like a red sweater. Yeah. Oh wait. No, that's Schindler's List. No, I saw, uh, World War II in color.

Oh yeah. That shit's wild. You know what they're doing? They're colorizing World War I soon. No way. Yeah. It looks badass. That's crazy.

Yeah. I mean, you're really dumb, but it's also crazy to watch old shit get colorized. Have you guys ever looked at pictures of people from like the early 1900s and maybe it's a picture of a woman and be like, I feel weird that I find her attractive because she's so old. Like right now she's probably 95 years old, but that picture, she's attractive. I don't do that, but I do look at old pictures and if there's a dog in it, I'm like, damn, that dog's dead.

Oh, come on, man. Jesus. I don't mean to do it, but like, they'll be like, hey, look at this dog from 1912. Mm hmm. Teddy Roosevelt's dog. And she's like, well, thanks. Jesus. It's not alive.

Neither's Teddy. Yeah, true. Yeah. But I don't care about Teddy. Yeah. Hello, PMT. I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now and I need to know why he and my dad get blackout drunk every time they hang out with each other.

We live in separate states. It only happens every couple of weeks, but it always gets way out of control. That's a lot. That's a lot. Hold on. Back up. They live in separate states, but it only happens every couple of weeks. Yep.

So yeah, they're just straight. Here's the thing. Your dad doesn't have any drinking buddies. Yeah. And so your boyfriend coming to his life was like the best. That's the closest he'll ever get to having a son. Right. And so he's like, this is my drinking buddy now and I'm going to fly him in from Seattle

to Chicago every fortnight and we're going to get ripped shit drunk off my lord because that's what fathers and sons do. Yeah. What was the rest of it? Anything? The question was just how do I get them to have a normal day together without the drink competition? Yeah.

You can't. It's too late. Break up with him. Or divorce your dad. Yeah. Break up with him and he still goes over. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be a job that your mom has to do, I think. Yeah. Because you're not going to be able to get your boyfriend or your dad to stop. The best you can hope for is that they get into like a weird compromising situation together at a casino or at like some sort of dance establishment and they get caught doing that. Yeah.

And then the mom says, okay, no more drinking with your new son-in-law. By the way, Hank, you just like the dad, the girl breaking up with the kid. And then the dad and the kid still getting drunk every other week and somehow living states away. You just wrote a Judd Apatow movie. That's definitely. Like Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd. Yep.

They're going to do that whole thing. Yeah. That's great. And then she figures out after like the 15th time they got blackout drunk that he like wakes up in a gutter with the dad. Yeah. Because I got to get my life together. I really love your daughter.

Can I have her hand in marriage? But then it turns out he was his son the whole time. Oh. I like that plot twist. Shit. Incest is hot in 2019. Okay. Yeah.

So we got the Ted Cruz, right? Uh-huh. Do you like that? Was it the incest porn? Yeah, it was. Simulated incest porn. I asked that because I know, but I wanted to sound like I didn't know. Okay.

Nice. Uh, sub large cat, do you all guys catch their come in their hand when having sex? My boyfriend does this all the time and I think it's really weird, but he says all guys do this. Um, no. No. Yeah. All the time.

It's like how Moises Salou used to pee on his hands so he'd be better at, uh, at swinging a baseball bat. Yeah. Yeah. I do it. I do it so I can pretend I'm Spider-Man. That is, um, yeah, no, definitely not all guys do that. I've actually never heard of that happen.

Never, ever. But that's, I mean, hey, congrats on having a guy with good hand-eye coordination. Your kids will be great at sports. Yeah. So the question is, does he like wait until it's in the air and swipe it? Yeah. Or is he like, is he like catching flies with chopsticks? Or is he just, I bet he, he probably cups it.

I don't know. It sounds like he, this is a game to him. He's playing 500 with his own sperm. Catch the come. Yeah. What a game. Actually, he's very considerate of him. I'm not making a mess.

I'm not making a mess. No, no, I'm thinking about it. Yeah. Might have just started a revolution. What's the difference between it being on your hand and in your balls? Yeah. Same thing. Same exact thing.

Why is a fake handoff called play-action? It just sounds like two random football words stuck together. Am I missing something? Whoa. I don't know. It sounds cool, I think. Yeah. There's probably a technical term that we don't understand, but we've just accepted

a play-action. No, it sounds really cool now that you think about it. Yeah, it does. Play-action. Yeah, it sounds like, it's like RPOs. Yeah. It sounds like a feature on like a toy robot's arm is he's got to play-action. Yeah.

I love RPOs where there's no threat of the quarterback ever running, so it's just play-action, but it's RPOs. Mm-hmm. It's like Wildcat. That's just a run play. Yep. But it's Wildcat. Yeah.

All right. Last one. I have a question about New Year's resolutions. Everyone always talks about New Year, new me, but I don't understand why people have to wait until the stroke of midnight to become a new person. I'm all for people wanting to make a change and the better for their lives, but why wait for the new year? Honestly, all I want this year is to wake up one morning and not have to clean the late

night snack dishes my boyfriend leaves in the sink. New year, empty sink. Why? So why are New Year's resolutions a thing? I'll tell you why. Yeah. I have an idea because I just lived it. You do New Year's resolutions, so if you make it in November, you can then live however

you want to live for all of December. Like I've been eating absolute garbage. I've gained probably 15 pounds since I said I was going to do Year of the Core like three weeks ago, just because I've been like, well, New Year's is coming, going to clean it up, and then you get to live the life you always want to live. I think people do it because it's annoying in general to hear people talking about any change that they're making in their life. But if you preface it by saying it's a New Year's resolution of mine, it's like slightly

less annoying. It's all, everyone decides to be annoying together. Exactly. So we're in like group therapy together where we're all making changes to ourself, whereas if it's like early October and you're like, you know what, I'm not eating whole grains anymore. Right. I'm going Keto.

Everyone's like, okay, asshole. Yeah. Like what's your problem? Yeah, thanks. Middle football. Why are you telling me this right now? Right. I'm trick or treating.

Okay. You're just weird. You're just a weirdo that is trying to better their life. Yeah. And that's strange. One of those guys. Yeah. I'm trying to read.

Couldn't be me. All right. That's our show. We'll see everyone Friday. Love you guys. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling.

Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling.

Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling.

Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling.

Hustling. Hip-hop beat. Hip-hop beat. Hip-hop beat. Hip-hop beat. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise.

Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. Hip-hop praise. I got them pretty things flying across the Atlantic

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